Morals

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[CLINKING] Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. I think they mean us. Oh, [BLEEP] Um-- [CLEARS THROAT] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't got to cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. [SPEAKING SPANISH] OK. [SPEAKING SPANISH] Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to be live all day, August 28th, from 3 PM, noon Eastern, all the way to the middle of the night, as we bring you The War in Talor.

Two different groups are going to be playing in Talor, both as Araka and Arazar. And you get to influence the results, as the third session sees them to clash. One group is going to emerge victorious, and it's all going to hinge upon you. That's the exact same time we're going to be launching the second Kickstarter for our Setting Book series. The Adventurer's Guide to Theria, Volume 2, Talor is going to be packed with well over 300 pages worth of stuff. And you're going to be seeing some of that during our streaming session all day, Saturday, August 28th.

Depending on which side is winning the conflict, based on who you support in the Kickstarter, that's going to be changing things in the stream all day long. We really hope that you can join us and help back this project, bring it to life, help support it, because we've been working for many months behind the scenes. We're trying to pay every artist and ourselves a fair living wage for this. And that requires everybody to show up and spread the word as far and as fast as possible. So again, August 28th, starting at 3 PM Eastern, noon Pacific. We'll be on Twitch all day long, streaming for you guys.

Without further ado, let's hear from a couple of words from our sponsors, and then we'll get to today's brand new episode. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. [GROANING] Let's do that thing! We'll be going around the table to introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master. Going around the table, start with Jamie. Hello, I'm Jamie. I play Volothius, the Tiefling Paladin. I thought we lost you there for like half a second. And I just-- Job? No. It's not going to happen. And Kelsey. I'm Kelsey, and I play Calypso Lovelace, the half-elf bard, for at least one more session.

And Robert. Hey, I'm Rob. I play Giolo Fane, the elf warlock. And hey, he's between jobs right now. He's kind of getting his resume out there. So if you know a guy, just hook him up. Well, there have been a lot of new openings in the city for various reasons. So-- and Bree. Hi there. I'm Brianna, and I play Gwenlothius, the Tiefling Steel Soul. And last and certainly not least, Zach. What's up? My name is Zach, and I played Paxton Warren. Always rough to hear that D. Past hints. Duh. When you hit the D, it's just-- so-- You never want the D. You never want-- I mean, sometimes you want the D, but it's-- You don't want to hit it, though.

You don't-- Yeah, no. You don't want to hit the D. So speaking of D, last time-- never mind. I was going to go a different way with that sentence. I want to know. That's not great. You guys took a lot of D last time. I was right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We really took the L, to be honest. What? Yeah. Decidedly hot poggers. Decidedly hot poggers. Holy shit. We had a combo meal of Ls and Ds. Yeah. I just love Kelsey just used poggers. I know. I can't wait to listen to this in 2027. [LAUGHTER] You know what's weird? Kelsey was planking when they said that. It was weird.

You invoking hearing this in the future just made me think of this great meme tweet I saw. It's like, one day, you're going to be walking down the road. You're going to reach into your pocket. You're going to find one of those cloth masks. And you're going to say, gosh, that was an interesting time. And then you're going to go back to fighting road warriors for gasoline. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Anyway, it didn't go great last time, breaking up that little drug den. But most of you managed to get away. You used Calypso's chariot, their rocket-powered chariot, to escape.

And that was the least silly thing that kind of happened. The question I need to ask everybody is something I kind of asked you before we got started. But I'm going to phrase it a little differently. So it's the dead of night. You have two bodies loaded up with you. You were taken back to headquarters. And I can't imagine the mood. Who breaks the silence first? Who's the first to say something? And what do they say? I'm not sure if we slowed down enough to say something. I thought we were going to the temple. You were going to the cleric first? Yeah, like desperately going to the temple.

I didn't know if you were trying to bring clerics to the headquarters or you to the clerics. But that makes sense, temple first. OK, so-- I think we're all either too injured or too still in shock to really talk right now. I think it's kind of like all business. Anything we say is just super efficient. Let's get these people to medical attention kind of stuff. Right. Along the ride, Beau would probably be administering some sort of healing to the people who are up too. It's going to take you about five or 10 minutes to get where you're going. So there's this large temple toward the center of town.

And it's a place where everyone can come and worship. The gods thing is a whole other situation. But for right now, there's someplace there for everyone to worship. So I imagine you come streaking up in your low rider and you start unloading, I guess, and just carrying them in like it's an emergency situation. Yeah. I think so. Real like crash cart emergency room drama moment. I think Gwen would probably run ahead because she's not going to be much help carrying the bodies. But she'll be like slamming on the door and getting attention. Boston through, yeah.

Yeah. So normally, this place is either shut down or it's off hours. It's kind of, they're there for minor healing and worship and stuff like that because people are up at all hours of the night. It's a big city. So someone will be there to prop open these big doors and let you in. And come on in. There's a space over here. This place has seen a lot of visitors within the last week or two. It's just been, I mean, hell, ever since-- even before the riots, there's just been stuff going on. So they're going to start checking for signs of life. And they're going to start trying to see what they can do.

And once they realize that they're gone, the question is kind of like, well, did you bring them here for last rites? Like, what would you like us to do? Bring them back. And she would say that very matter, like, no, you have to. So there's a salt and pepper guy, looks to be probably early '50s. His name's Horace. And Horace is very calm, trying to-- there's a very disappointed look on his face. Obviously, there's nothing we could do to heal them, help them. And if you matter of factly say, let's just bring them back. Well, not like more screamy than that, a little bit more desperate.

OK. But still, like, please, like, do this. Like, she's very upset. Like-- Clearly, yeah. I'm sure that they've seen this before. But that's how she's behaving, is like, you have to-- you have to bring them back. You have to bring them back. And she isn't really thinking. I understand that you're very upset right now. It isn't a simple matter to try and bring someone back. It's very dangerous and painful. There's been a lot of loss in the last-- it's been a very difficult time in the city. And we're stretched to the absolute limit. Do you understand? Because he's kind of whispering, she does-- like, before she was borderline screaming in this temple.

It echoes, right? It's a big open cathedral hall type thing. But she will calm down enough to speak at a lower level. So they work for the city. We were just-- they were trying to help. And we need you to bring them back, because everything's going wrong. And we need them back, please. They were trying to protect you guys. They were trying to protect the city. Is anyone else saying anything? Or is it pretty much Gwen taking the lead on this? Gwen should never take the lead on anything. Giollo will kind of add, if it's money or favors or whatever it is, the answer is yes, right?

We'll do it. Just get it done, and we'll do what it takes. He's going to-- he's going to-- like, perk up, almost interrupt. This isn't about money. It's-- I think we have maybe one cleric who may be approaching the amount of time in recovery it would take to even attempt something like this. And even then, it would be one of them. We certainly couldn't attempt both. And even that is-- it's a long shot. I would have to speak with them, and it's-- it's a lot to ask of someone. I think Gwen would reach up and take Beau's hand and, like, tug on it a little bit, just to be like, what do we do?

Calypso will kind of step up a little bit, and they're a bit quiet because they are still very much-- they're still using the enhanced spell to basically keep themselves from passing out. They're still some gold kind of shimmer just on their skin from that. And if you can't, we understand. And thank you for your compassion. Paxton was a paladin-- no cleric, sorry. Paxton was a cleric of Barathas, I think. I don't know if he might know anyone here, and we don't know the identity of this one, as far as dealing with their death rights and everything. Yeah, if we can only have one, it's Paxton, right?

And we'll do it. I mean, bring whoever it is out here, right? Just bring them out, and we'll talk it over. Don't-- I mean, you know. There's no need to negotiate for us. Just whoever it is, bring them out. I'll talk. Let me ask a question really quick. Zak. Yes. Would you say there's a chance that Paxton had any connection to this? Oh, yeah. Like, what was his standing in the Brightport community cleric-wise, do you think? Oh, well, God's honest truth. That's where he spent most of his time, is with the clergy. Because his uncle, Zadok, is a priest in a clergy somewhere.

He's not a big-time player in the priest world, but he's been a devout priest his whole life. He's the one who taught Paxton how to be-- growing up, how to be a man and a priest. So he's been in the clergy and around this area for a good while. So he could be known, but he's young. So it depends. And he was doing other things. Like, he went kind of political fast, I guess. Like, he went to this bureaucratic side really quickly, I guess. So-- It's only been, like, a day. Yeah. Like, you want to fix problems at the root, right? You want to-- Well, he was a cleric of Arathis, so he got really into law and all that stuff and politics.

She has no more, so we'll see. How old does the raven look? She looks relatively young. Like, maybe late 20s. Like, maybe 30, but not-- yeah, she doesn't look too old. Give me a religion check, if you could there, Zach. Let's see what's going on. If this is more than just a Zach thing, Giolo is trained in religion. Well, this is more just to see what his reputation religiously would be there. So that's a 20. That's pretty big. So that would be brownie points. Now, here's the thing. This is a long shot, because they've just been so-- like, they're stretched, right?

So I'm going to leave this up to a dice roll to see if it can even be attempted. Does that sound fair? OK. I want one of you who isn't Zach to give me a flat d20, and on a 19 or 20, they'll attempt it. Oh, gosh. Mega long shot. OK. It's a big long shot. Like, it's-- like, the first people-- like, the first establishment that people turn to when there's tragedy is the clergy. And they can't bring back everyone. So there's a cost to it, but mostly it's almost like an insurance policy in case someone passes away attempting it or-- it's a huge thing. So-- And also, imagine a big disaster kind of thing.

It's like, OK, well, we could spend one person-- almost completely to bring back one person back, or we could use them to help save the lives of several people that are wounded but still alive. Exactly. So if it's someone who they think is going to help out more people in the long run, then yeah, it's worth it. But if it's just Jeff from down the street, it's tough to rationalize it. And it's a terrible thing. Yeah. No, it makes complete sense. I just don't want to be the one to rule. I think Zach should pick the person who rules. Oh. Oh, wow. Come on, Zach.

Who do you want to blame? For your time? It's-- yeah. Who do you want to carry the guilt? Guilt? OK, guilt on a 10% chance on a D20 roll. Yeah. There's no-- I'll do it, Zach. I'll only have 10% guilt because it's a 10%. [LAUGHTER] Let's not make it a D20 right now. Have no chance. It's a 10. There's no chance. It's not possible. No, there's a chance. 10%. We did the numbers. We did the numbers. We did the-- yeah. It's a long time. I figured out what two out of 20 is. Here's the thing. We're over our quota for resurrection attempts, even for this arc. And-- No, and it makes sense.

This just makes sense, you know? No, I'm not-- Isn't it a son of a bitch when you're the next person in line? Nah, we're close to resurrection. I know. Son of a bitch. So? But you know what? You know what? It's OK if Rob rolls. It seems like he's all right with it. It's no big deal. Man, I can be at peace with it if you can be at peace with it. Yeah. It's all up to-- it's not even like we're playing physically and I could put some spin on it for you. It's like, I'm going to get what I'm going to get. I'm going to blow into my mic and it's going to be good luck.

Ready? Yeah. Come on, Daddy needs a new pair of sneakers. Daddy needs a new cleric. Daddy wants the old cleric back. Daddy wants the old cleric back. Come on, Daddy needs some defiance of death. OK, here we go, man. Open for the best. Go. Oh my god. Wow. It's a one. They stabbed the corpse. They just-- Yeah. He's like, no, he's done. A cleric runs out of it and goes, oh, I can do it. I have it in me. And then just drops dead. Heart attack. The cleric grabs Paxton by the head and just starts jostling his neck. This guy? This guy? This guy you want back? This guy? So-- Wouldn't have been me.

I wouldn't have done it either. That is a one, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. So no. No. That not-- I think Horace would go and check on this person because they have their own infirmary in the back for people recovering for the-- because it's so draining. And just like they're laid up in bed for like a week afterwards sometime. And you'd hear those footsteps in the cathedral, like as he's around the corner, almost like he's wearing heels. But he's going to come back and say, I'm sorry, they're just in no shape to attempt this again. Not in good conscience.

I couldn't let them. We understand. Thank you for looking into it. What about the guy who fixed up Gwen? Do you think we could try that? Is there more of that? Do you know of anybody else in the city who might be able to help us? You're talking to Horace? Yeah. Well, again, it's a risky proposition. If you could find someone who would be willing to attempt it. But usually there has to be some strong personal connection, a reason to-- Gwen's eyes are going to light up a little bit, and she's going to look at Paxton, his uncle. Wasn't his uncle a cleric? Was his uncle a cleric?

I vaguely remember that being the case. He was more like a priest with less clerical powers, more like just faith, I guess. But he could have powers. I have no idea. As far as Gwen knows, it's worth a shot. And then she's going to look to the raven. Does anyone know who she is? Who they are? She's going to look to you guys? Obviously, none of us know, but she's half hoping. I mean, should we unmask the raven? The raven's already unmasked. Oh, yeah. Oh, OK. We have looked. Yeah, it was kind of knocked off of her after-- Yeah. They seem to be female presenting. That was the reveal.

We don't know yet because we haven't spoken to them. Little hard now. Yeah. [SIGHS] Horace would look down for a couple of seconds, and then he'd kind of hold up his hand. I have met this young lady before. She had a pretty nasty drug habit a long time ago, and she managed to turn that around. And I had heard she found new work in the city, but I-- Does she have family? I believe her mother was the only thing, and she had died. That was shortly before the drugs, so-- [SIGHS] Her name was Alma Price, if that helps. She was in the book. Good for her. Gwen is just going to crumble at that because she thought, at the very least, I could tell her family.

And-- I think if you take on that job, you probably don't have an extended family. It's not-- No. Or you shouldn't. Like, you probably shouldn't. She'd move over to Alma and put her hands cross on her chest and probably give her a hand to squeeze and whisper, I'm sorry, and then turn back to Horace. We have to try for Paxton. Can you keep her here for right now? You can tell, man. This guy wants to stop you. But, like, of course, we'll prepare for burial. OK. Are you taking Paxton with you? That's what Gwen would want to do. I'm not sure. Like, again, everyone's letting Gwen just do whatever she wants.

But that would be what she would try next. And she can't carry Paxton, so she would probably ask Bo to do it. Yeah. Bo would definitely carry Paxton and probably would try to offer some sort of comfort to Gwen seeing her fill up that calypso. Yeah. Calypso just kind of, like, they just sort of shrug a little bit. I don't really have much to say right now. Man, that story was rough, Jason. I-- oh, man. It gets rougher, but, like, you don't need to-- She was actually working with a black hand, thinking that, like-- it's like, oh, this is-- That's where I heard her, yeah.

This is going to turn the city around and all that stuff. And she just-- she kind of felt led astray after all that stuff. And, like, I guess she thought that was the best way she could help. Just know that she died of dealing a blow to the-- I can't remember their name either. Bad-- Bad brothers. No, but-- Iron knuckle boy. Iron knuckle boy. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Bad brothers. She died dealing a blow to some of the elements that we're trying to continue spreading drug abuse and stuff. So that-- Will you let us use your cart to go to the lower part of the docks, if I recall correctly, is where the uncle lives?

Yes, sorry. That-- No, that's-- Of course. But yeah, I guess we'd all load up. And the fun part is we have no idea where his uncle lives, so-- Yeah, I don't even know where you're going to start that. Do you have a name? I remember it was the lower quarter, and we have Paxton's last name, which I know to be-- open up-- oh, it doesn't open. What's his last name? I don't think. Ward. It's on his character. Warren, isn't it? Warren. Yeah. It's a bad start, guys. I'm going to tell you. Oh, it's right there at the chat, because you just rolled. Oh, there it is. Warren.

Yeah, Warren. Isaac, I called Merrick by the wrong name for years, so it doesn't mean I don't love you. Do not worry about it. You guys are doing excellent, by the way. We don't refer to last names very often. So what's the plan? You're going to knock on every door in the lower quarter of the city? Well, it's very late at night, if I recall correctly. Yeah. So Gwen-- Maybe we should go back to that quarter. No, I think Gwen would. We go to the lower quarter, and she would start knocking on doors and seeing if anyone knows this man's uncle. Yeah, Mr. Warren, presumably.

Who's the guy who did Gwen's resurrection? Ah, that would be Archmage Fashir Alak. OK. Do we want to split up? I was going to say, yeah, Giollo would be willing to go check with Archmage Fishcam and see if-- Literally save one of your teammates' lives. But you know-- Yeah, no. He doesn't deserve any respect for that. You made a mega complicated name, OK? And I have heard it. Fashir. You could stop at Fashir. Fashir, OK. Fashir. Do you want me to try to see if Archmage Fashir has any tricks up his sleeve? I mean, we got to exhaust every option, you know? I do know he's powerful.

I can't hurt. Yeah, I'm going to take that as a yes. I'm going to go. And Giollo just kind of comes over and pats his hand on Paxton's chest for a minute. And just kind of whispers, giving it everything we got. Pats him one more time and heads out the door. So Gwen's going to knock on doors, man. She's doing the footwork. She's doing what Brianna would never do, which is talk to strangers. It is role play. I'm going to come back to you because there's going to be another Hail Mary role. But we'll come back to that. Who's going with Gwen? And-- Calypso. OK. Anybody going with Giollo?

No, I got to carry Paxton. That's fair? Yeah, I don't necessarily need company for this. I mean, he'd be in a safe part of town, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, safe. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah. It's the middle of the night. What could happen? Why would you say that? It's a terrible thing to say. Here's what I'm going to ask you to do. Me or Giollo? You. The three people who decided to go knock on doors. Because you tripled your chances, I guess. Well, I don't know if Calypso and Beau are knocking on doors. Well-- Maybe you see if a bar is open or something. Maybe like a bartender knows the neighborhood and would know like regulars and stuff.

Yeah. Well, here's what I'm going to ask you to do. I'm going to cut back to each of you at certain times. But I'm going to ask you to give me a flat D20 roll, one by one. If you roll a 20, you're going to get a hot tip. If you roll a one, you're going to get stabbed for waking somebody up in the middle of the fucking night. Wow, Jason, that sounds-- That sounds personal. Yeah. Look, a man's resurrection is at stake. This is-- They didn't know that, man. There's a lot of resurrections. There's a-- I don't think we resurrected him. It's more of like, it's for me next of kin.

Well, like, it's the lower quarter and like 3 in the morning. Yeah. That's fair. OK. Want me to go first? With our track record of crit ones, I don't know that this is going to go very well. I just love getting stabbed. Let's throw these dice, turn this into a slash deflection. I'm the opposite of that Rick and Morty guy. Here I go, getting stabbed again. Give me a flat D20. 15. It's not a 1. It's not a 1. It's much closer to a 20. Let's follow Giollo for a little bit. So Giollo is going to-- yeah, we're going to stretch this out. We're-- [LAUGHS] Content. Yeah.

Giollo is going to get to Archmage Fissure's place, which you've been to one other time. And it's kind of this funky older house. And if you were to knock on the door, it would probably take a while for someone to answer. But by the third or fourth time you knock, Fissure would open the door. This older kind of disheveled looking man, it looks like maybe he's been drinking. OK. And he's just kind of like peer around the door. What do you want? Archmage Fissure? Hi, yeah. Giollo Fane. We met earlier. I wasn't as-- I didn't talk much that time that we met. But we met.

We were part of the Firebrand project. I am, and my friends who are not here are also part of it. But hey, good evening. He's not going to say a word, and he's just going to step aside and open this door up wider so you can come in. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate it. We have a problem, and we're low on options. And I appreciate you hearing me out this late at night. Paxton has died in the line of duty. And I don't know if you have more of what you used on Gwen or some other methods or something. But yeah, we were trying to stop the Iron Knuckle Boys. They're running drugs all over the city, and we got in over our heads.

And we're just-- we're at our wit's end. I mean, I guess it's been rough for everybody here. But if you have anything or any ideas, I speak for everybody when I say we're willing to do what it takes. The entire time, he's kind of squinting at you. His eyes are adjusting to the light or something. And eventually, he's going to sit down in this big plush chair, and everything in him is just going to collapse when he hits the chair, just-- like, he deflates, kind of. He's a little hunched over. And he's going to point to-- he's kind of motioned to a chair.

Sit. Sit. Yeah, Gio will have a seat, sure. He has definitely been drinking and is continuing to drink. [CLEARS THROAT] So the firebrand is still a thing. Yeah, for the moment. Who knows how much longer. Not really getting a great track record to start. I heard about Stevie. And he's not making eye contact when he's talking about-- he's not-- he's looking at his drink. Yeah. What a mess. Can I also-- do you have a cup here? Can I just-- is that right? Oh, yeah, just-- they're all dirty. Go. Like, nothing-- he hasn't done dishes in a while. Gio-- Gio pours himself.

Kind of just like a little half thing to sip on. You know, I knew that boy when he was in training. And he didn't know anything. I honestly thought he'd get killed about six months in. But he was tenacious. There's long pauses where he's just staring off into the middle distance like-- you can tell he's got one foot in the conversation and one foot somewhere else. And part of that's the booze. Hm. I didn't know you two were as close as that. Knew him for over 30 years. It was almost like a sop to me. Gio kind of feels like he sees where this is going already, but he doesn't hurry it.

Right, right. You know, I watched him spend his entire life trying to fix this place. And it eventually swallowed him whole. And now you've lost someone too. Yeah, and there was this other vigilante, the Raven, who was there trying to help us too. And they got hurt too. It was a real mess. I can't do what I did for Gwen again. I don't have the material. There may be something, but I would have to look around. Did-- was that the thing you'd have to look around for? Was that an option for Steven? No, no, Steven's gone. Well, no, I mean, like-- look, I want Paxton back as bad as anyone in Firebrand, but why didn't you-- or did you look and not have an option when he died?

Or I'm just wondering. I don't know. That's kind of what I thought you were getting at, that-- No. We talked a long time ago. Many times it came up, but he was always adamant that if he were to die, then that would be it. He didn't want a second chance. I told him that I was working on something that would make his job less dangerous. And he was sure he could do it his way and get the people of Brightport to change. And it just never worked out, I guess. Do you believe in his mission? Do you think he-- do you think he thought-- do you think he dreamed too big, I guess?

Or-- because I'm starting to feel it, you know? We just keep getting our teeth knocked in out there. I'm wondering if there's any hope for making this a better place. This is the first time he's going to perk up a little bit. And he's motioning to you with his drink, talking with his hands a little bit, spilling, just a couple of drops here and there. I told Stephen over and over again that you couldn't trust people who have spent their entire lives clawing at each other's throats to suddenly change. They needed a reason to change. It had to be-- it had to be their only option.

And he just never saw it that way. He believed that eventually it would all turn around. There's going to be another long pause, and then he's-- he's going to look up at Giolo. Wait, who's-- who are you working under now? I mean, we kind of just kept going freelance. We had a plan before what happened to Stephen, and so we went on with the plan we had. And no one said anything to you? Did anyone say anything to us? No. No, I was going to say I didn't think so. No, I guess in everyone's defense, we didn't really ask. We just kind of-- in the moment, it seemed to be time to take action, and we just went on.

I don't know if we had a plan for what we were going to do next after this, if it worked out better or not. He's going to-- he's going to use his arms and push up out of this deep, cushy chair and kind of set his strength down quickly. Come with me. Come on. And he's going to smack Giolo's knee. Just, I have something to show you. Come on. Giolo slams his liquor real quick and follows along. This is not weak stuff, by the way. He was trying to get drunk, obviously. Giolo's a gentleman of the evening. I think he's able to do one of these, at least. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not like a check. It's more just like, this was not a sipping beverage. He was just partaking in a little bit. Like, it was-- it's like, oh, you're trying to escape something, like that type of thing. How about we catch up? How about we catch up with the gang knocking on doors? Jamie. Yes. Can I get you to do me a favor and roll a flat D20? You got it. Oh, so close. 17. So while you guys are knocking on doors, and probably every second or third person is going to yell at you, just go away. I have to be up at dawn, and you people-- you know, that type of thing.

And it's just house after house after house, and there are so many. Is there a conversation that takes place? Is there like-- because I think in movies and stuff, there's that moment where it's like, well, let's get out there. But they usually don't check in an hour or two into the situation to see-- that's why we have montages. So like-- Yeah, Colton's like half asleep, I think. Just like-- yeah, just like, cool, and then like, not. I think if it's obviously hopeless, they're not going to find him tonight, at the very least. Eventually Gwen would probably collapse from everything.

I was about to say, when does that adrenaline wear off to? We already weren't doing well. Hung upside down, half dead. I think eventually she'd be in the back of the cart, and maybe we're driving to the next town over, or what have you, and she would fall asleep next to Paxton's body. Gwen falls asleep, collapses, kind of look at Beau, and we're like, do you think it's OK if we maybe head back? Now we should probably call it a night. Yeah, OK. Do you want to try one more house? Sure. You say it like that, yeah. I mean, Kels hasn't rolled, so-- I was going to say, if you get three rolls, you do not use all three. [LAUGHTER] Then Zach gets to be mad.

Zach gets to be real mad. 15, 17, 15 is not bad, but it's not a 20. At least it's not even close to a 1, so everyone was fairly understanding. They're like, sorry about your dead friend. I still have to get up and lift boxes. And like-- Yeah. So I think as the sun's kind of threatening to raise in the sky, you see that light pink aura on the horizon. You still got a little bit, but man, it's just been-- it has been a long day. Going back to Giollo and Ficher, Ficher would lead you to this bookcase. And he would pull one of the books back on it, and there's a goddamn secret passageway in here, like an old-fashioned I have a secret passageway leading to a secret basement thing.

Serious archmage business. Yeah, it's yes. This is-- I'm doing something. Don't look. Shut that behind you. And he's going to start going down this long spiral staircase. And every time you drop a level, there's going to be this slight illumination, like it's going to kind of pop up, almost like someone's flicking lights on, but it's a very soft light. And it's kind of these steep stone steps. And he's even going to tell you, watch yourself. Please don't fall on me while we're going down here. I used to be able to traverse them better. Giollo just grunts in acknowledgment, and is there a handrail that I can brace on just to-- Oh, hell no.

There's no-- this was not built to any standard. OK, yeah. He then just kind of places his hand along a wall as he goes just for an extra contact point. Yeah, it really should be a handrail. This was-- yeah. OSHA would be furious. Oh, absolutely. That's why it's secret. So getting to the bottom of this place, it is this large pitch black room. And there's a couple of tables he has on the wall next to the staircase. And they're going to-- he's going to wave a hand, and they're going to illuminate. And there's been-- like, you could tell he's working on a bunch of different things.

But there's some books that look like they haven't been touched in a while. And he's going to brush one off. So I worked for a long time on a project. And I kept hinting at it with Steven. And he never really was receptive to it. But maybe it's time that we try something a little more drastic. And he's going to turn and wave his hand. And one by one, these rows of lights are going to brighten up a space all the way to the back of this place. And it's almost like a huge garage or something like that. It's massive under there. And there are rows of warforged bodies over and over again that have been hand-built.

And there's one near the front next to this chair. Can I get an arcana check from Giollo? Probably. Let's see here. Skills. Yes, I am turned. That's a nine. So you probably wouldn't get what the chair's for or anything like that. But you need to think about this carefully. But we could take your friend and put him in a new body. But it wouldn't be the same. Moreover, maybe we could use these other bodies to clean up the streets a bit. I see you're giving me the-- what I want to say-- the iRobot conundrum or the term-- it's like, do I want to release an army of T-1000s for-- you know, like-- Well, OK, look.

I'm just imagining a metal skeletal foot crushing a human skull surrounded by fire, as in Terminator, as we unleash it. It's like-- it's the opportunity to do a reverse malkus. Right. And I will say this. I will say this. Media has not portrayed robots very kindly in this situation. The closest I think we got was RoboCop. And that's a cyborg. Oh, Johnny 5. We could go Johnny 5. He was a pretty nice robot. There you go. But for every Johnny 5, we have an ED-209. So we got-- [LAUGHS] Do you-- is that on your face? Is that like a what? Like you're not keen on the idea?

Well, I mean, Giallo doesn't have the extensive sci-fi dystopia movie knowledge that Rob has. Of course, of course. Perhaps not quite as much on his face. I think he has questions. So he's like, OK. I guess it's not like an awful idea, but it's-- We only have one Paxton, and the rest of these, don't they all need souls? How does it work? He's going to wave his hand. No, no, no. It's-- obviously, a soul would be usually ideal. But I think this would just muck up the works. What we want are individuals who can't feel pain, who aren't scared, who can help do what's necessary, just accompany you on missions and keep you safe, the safety in numbers.

They aren't afraid to catch fire. They aren't afraid to go down dark alleys. Think about it. If you had-- and he's going to kind of like wave to the-- if you had to put a number of-- there's probably a good 40 or 50 down here. If you had a fraction of these tonight, do you think things would have gone differently? Well, yeah, almost certainly. I mean, are they-- are they just-- are they just-- are they just-- are they just golems at that point? Are they obedient? And who tells them what to do other than us? Are we fully in charge? There's so many questions, man.

It's-- He's going to sit down on this stool. Well, I'm sure you've heard about the experiments that went on with the first group of Warforged. It's terrible, awful. But again, there's no-- there'd be no souls. They could learn and adapt, but they wouldn't-- you wouldn't be able to hurt their feelings. They would listen to you and do their best to help you achieve your goals. I-- I just think if Steven saw something in you, in your group, he thought that that could have been the turning point, that we should give it every chance. Well, you said yourself he was idealistic, I mean, maybe to a fault.

So who knows if he saw us as, you know, rough cut gems or if he was just-- just a foolish dreamer. But I mean, I guess-- I guess I got to go find the rest of Firebrand and pose the question. I can't make the choice myself, but I don't even have-- I don't even have Paxton here to tell you yes to go for it. So I guess you may just get everyone together right away. You're just going to stay down here, have a seat, relax a little bit. I'm going to take a nap. OK. He wants to give you a couple hours. Take your time. It's not-- I understand. I understand that this isn't easy, but I don't think any of what you've been put through has been easy.

So this may be par for the course. Please go talk it over with your friends. You can just knock on my door. I'll wake up. OK. Yeah, well, I mean, we'll give you a little time. Thanks for-- thanks for having me in. And I'm sorry about everything. You know, it's-- it is, but it isn't our fault, I guess. I don't know. I mean, there's so much going on, but we're involved, and I just want you to know I'm sorry. He knew what he was doing, and there was probably 20 times before that he thought he was going to die. Just can't dodge the arrow every time, I guess. G.O.L.O. kind of nods solemnly and says, yeah.

Hey, you get some sleep, and I'll come back a little bit mid-morning. Hey, drink some water before you go down. Take care of yourself. You know what I'm saying? It's worse if you don't, you know, take a little-- take a little water on the side. He would kind of give you like a "ahh." Like, just kind of like-- just like brush you off, like-- Make sure and shut the bookcase when you go. Okay, yeah, G.O.L.O. goes up and makes sure to shut the bookcase and goes to reconvene with the party, I guess, wherever we'd-- wherever we'd crash for a little bit. Oh, man.

Can't wait to hear this pitch. Yeah. Right? Do you know what's crazy? Through G.O.L.O. Yeah. G.O.L.O. is always the one who wanders off, talks to somebody, and has to come back with this lofty, like, okay, guys, this is gonna sound crazy. G.O.L.O. is the one who always advances the plot while we do business. But also, I'm a natural pitchman, so maybe. You want to pitch this one? Sure you are, buddy. Sure. Well, there's gonna be more depth to it. I'm not gonna oversimplify it. I promise. It'll be great. I guess it depends who gets back first, but I feel like if we're already there, we're all probably already passed out.

Yeah, honestly, I figure that-- This is the next morning conversation or next period of time conversation. I don't know. Let's say it's dawn. Maybe you guys have had a chance to pass out for at least a few hours. The light wakes you up and everything, because you know that the clock's a ticking, right? You don't usually get more than a day with a person before their soul's gone and there's no sense in trying anymore. But I imagine Jolo would kind of speak up and just at least tell everybody. It's like, well, I found him like that. Yeah, certainly after we get that little bit of rest.

Obviously, there's no point in rushing back so fast that the archmages don't get to sleep. But so are we just cutting to mid morning and I kind of reconvene everybody? Yeah, let's say that. Okay. And so I take it they tell me they had no luck finding the uncle, right? Okay. So all right. I went to Fashir. Fashir, bingo. Yeah. So I went to Archmage Fashir and he graciously let me into his house. We had a little bit of a little heart to heart and he has an idea. So it's a I mean, after the measures he went to to bring Gwen back, I would say this is like on the level, maybe even.

Okay, maybe a little. How about I just tell you? All right. So Archmage Fashir has had a plan in case Steven's more idealistic methods to bring the city back to order, you know, weren't going to work out. And part of that plan was a warehouse of about four dozen war forged bodies that he's been building in his basement behind the secret bookshelf. Excuse me? No, you didn't miss here. I saw what I said. That's what it is. So it's got all these war forged bodies and they're not moving. They're not doing anything. Okay, that's a good thing. One of them is set up in such a way that perhaps if you're all good with it, we could try to transfer Paxton's soul into that body and get him back into action here among us, living and continuing to rally the people and all that other stuff that he does, which would be great.

I'd feel better. But then also the Archmage. Sorry. No, the first unless you have a way to speak with him from wherever his soul is, I mean, we can't exactly get consent. That's I mean, we didn't. Did we worry about that for Gwen to be fair? Did we war forged is I don't know much about it, but that's not a it's a completely different body. It's not. Should we roll to see how much we know about the war forged? Because we're on the opposite side of the continent as the war, but we're close to Uminiero. Yeah, you'd have to have your head pretty deep into sand to not do anything.

But yeah, please give me an Arkana check. But more than that, what are your personal feelings on, you know, on that whole situation? I'm actually thinking I'm wondering how much Gwen knows. Holy shit, Bo. I'm literally I don't know what it is. Like, I'm only allowed to ever roll one ever. That's not true. You got a 17 when we were looking for his uncle. That is true. You know what I mean. Here's the thing. I think it's your internet. And the second you get your internet replaced, it's 20s all around. Yeah, that's what we're going to do. It's just bad juju from the internet.

That is. The baby's eating all your 20s. Yeah. Yeah, it's that thing about the baby taking away her mother's beauty, except not sexist and terrible. So when? More so than knowing what the Warforged are, knowing where they came from and why. Because, like, they were to protect Uminero for a very long time. So an argument can be made that that's what they were built for in the first place. But also it didn't go super well later on. So would she know about that and why? And with so you're rocking a 14. I think you know the basic backstory. Like, why they were created. 13, 14.

Yes, two. Not so much. But what's the Warforged? What? Warforged. I also got one of those comic books. Suits of armor walking around this whole time. What the fuck? How am I just noticing this? I thought that guy was just really buff. I didn't know. Whatever you think about the Warforged is probably along the lines of that. The like, birds aren't real conspiracy. I've never seen a bird. So 13, 14, you know the basic. It's like, yeah, they were created up in Uminero. They were, you know, they were used as guards, protectors, that type of thing. The twist is they had souls, which is pretty horrible.

Not great. And they were pretty much forced into a slavery position and not allowed to say no. And then when the city was safe and the higher ups got bored, they pitted them against each other in Mortal Kombat. Yeah, not the greatest history. It's not the greatest history. And then some of those higher ups got even more bored and racist and went to the West Coast and decided to do it again. But this time really put the fucking hammer down on them and make sure they couldn't say no. But they were really trapped in those bodies and couldn't, you know, see and understand everything that they were forced to do.

So this pitch isn't going great. 2.0, not great. Now the two things that you would know in both of those situations were that one, very corrupt people had control and two, there were real people in those bodies. You know what I mean? Yeah, we haven't gotten to the other robots. Absolutely. Yes. We can't get consent from Paxton to do this. It's not. Yeah, no. But versions one and two of Warforged Experiment have not had a stellar reputation. Bo's just going to say, I think it would be best if we still contacted his uncle. No one's going to know what Paxton would have wanted other than him.

And if we have time and Bo will sort of look to Giolo to see if there's a time limit on this. I mean, it would be as long as his soul's in his body, right? You get 24 hours. Yeah, Giolo kind of says, I mean, I've never put anyone's soul in another body before. Everything I've ever heard is sooner is better than later. We don't know even for sure, though. I mean, even if we get every assurance from the Archmage that there isn't some sort of he didn't put some sort of control spells or something in there and or not in some way wouldn't be resigning Paxton to the slavery.

I don't like the idea of a bunch of fucking robots coming in and just beating up four people in our city. But as far as Paxton goes, if he's in one, then he's alive, at least. Right. So I'm for Paxton thought. If we put him in there and then he wakes up and doesn't want this, could we then let him die? Is that sure? Whatever. Yeah. Colossal is asking Giolo, like, they don't know if that's magically possible. And they're like, did you talk to the Archmage about this? I don't know the finer points. I just all I'm thinking is that alive is better than dead. I mean, you know, he seemed to he seemed to have goals.

He seemed to have unfinished business. Warforged body. That's a downer. But he gets to go on pursuing his goal, his vision for the city, for the world. I don't know. I without him here to say I'd lean toward do it. I mean, Gwen's going to raise her hand, like to the side a little bit and say, as the only member of this crew who has actually been dead, being alive is better than dead. Like, it just is. Gio would just like hold his hand out in her direction, like exhibit A. Like, if you were brought back and if you woke up that night and you were not in your body, in a different body, this body is only half mine now.

And she's going to like flex her fingers and like claws are going to come out to kind of she's sharing it with this thing in her body. It's not just her in here anymore. What he does after isn't our business if he wants to end it once he's back. But I think we owe it to him to try to bring him back first. He's one of us. - Giolo turns his eyes to Bo to see if she has anything to contribute. - Bo is going to sort of just blatantly ask. It seems that we're at an impasse. Perhaps we should just vote. - Well, I feel like we need more information. We need to talk to the Archmades.

- I mean, yeah, sure. Talk to the Archmage, talk to Paxton's uncle. Yeah, of course. I think we have enough time for that at least. - What was that second part? You said there were 40 of them? - Several dozen. I didn't sit there and count them, but it was significant. Yeah. - I knew we should just focus on Paxton for right now, because that's a lot. - Right, right. - It's a bit terrifying that we had an Archmage building a secret Warforged army underneath us. - Wouldn't he need bordy souls? - What was that? - Wouldn't he need bordy souls? - When he was talking to me about it, he seemed to be implying that there was a way to do it in a more, what I want to say, to have them working in a less alive fashion.

I don't know the finer points of it. I mean, obviously, when he said something about people trapped in bodies and not having control, and that's horrifying. If that's what he's talking about, absolutely deals off, right? Just being along for the ride, man, that would... Just a thought. But no, if it's something, if it's like an ethical golem army, then it seems like a pretty good deal. - Let's, as Gwen suggested, focus on Paxton for now. We can come back to this afterward. - Yeah, yeah. I guess let's go to the lower quarter and ask people who'd be in the know if they know where Nowhere's Uncle is?

- I guess we can probably leave Paxton here this time. - So here's what I'm gonna do. One more try. Rob? - Yes. - I want you to roll a flat D20. On a 20, you're gonna get a hot tip. - Okay. Does it matter if I'm asking bar owners and stuff? People who know who's in the community, people who'd see who comes and goes kind of thing. - Zach, is your uncle a big barfly? - So here's the thing, right? And I'm glad you asked me about this, Jason. I'm gonna get you a clear overview of what this guy's like. Imagine a guy... Imagine what Paxton's like, a real square cut guy.

He doesn't really do much, doesn't drink, doesn't do all that stuff. Imagine what kind of guy would teach someone like that? He's very in bed at nine or eight. - So Jamie? - Yeah, I won't cast stones, but he's a devout priest of Arathis, which he used to be, however that's going retrospectively. So he spends most his time around the main Brightport church, the big one, the big temple. He's around there a lot, but he's like a small name. So he might be hard to find, but he doesn't really go around seedy places. He's just not rich, so he lives around the poor places.

- Right. So he lives there, but it's not like he's drinking in horror. - No, he's just... He has a lot very modest. - He could also be ministering to the less fortunate going into these bars. I don't know. - Oh, you think about the most priestly bullshit, like the most mundane stuff, the really... He's handing out bread to people who are hungry, that kind of stuff. - Is he the type to hop up on a soapbox? - No, that was Paxton. - As Paxton would be. - That's where he'd get his hand slapped, like none of that, and you see why now. - So I get you're telling me I'm rolling for a 20 is what you're saying.

- Roll for a 20, yeah. - Okay. 17. - Damn, 17. 17, 15, 17, 15. So just so close. - I got a picture of Cady. - It's a massive city, he has no ties. - Like the camera zoomed out for just missing him over and over. - Yeah, like he's on the next street over, or yeah. - Yeah, or like right as we look over, he bends down to pick something up, so we take a look past him. Okay. - So I guess Fashir's next. - I guess we all go to Fashir with Paxton's body for the big discussion. Okay, I'm gonna take your silences agreement and we're gonna go as a party. As we go, I promise you that the bookshelf is very cool.

- It is pretty cool. You have to get contractors to do that, and then you gotta kill them so that they don't tell anybody. - I was about to say that, yeah! - So if you kind of knock on your door, it'll probably have to devolve into a pound eventually. - Yeah, he's still passed out, isn't he? - Yeah, and you're gonna hear him shuffle to the door in the same like robes and stuff he was in when he answered the door earlier, and just blink bleary-eyed and stare at you. And he would probably stare for a good five seconds. - Giollo fills that silence by saying, "You didn't drink the water, did you?" - Ehh, come in.

Like, just... Like, the sun may just be... they may as well be lasers directed right into his retinas. Like, it's... he's just... yeah. But he's gonna, like, duck back into the house and pull back the door and let you in. And after you all shuffle in, he would, like, kind of lean against the door and bolt it shut again. - Oh, I guess, Bo, you want to give me a hand with Paxman? - Oh, I imagined, yeah. You guys would kind of respectfully kind of take him in here. And he's gonna look down at Paxman. Poor boy. So, we talked it over. I'm assuming we're doing this.

Like, holding his head every couple of seconds. Like, it's just... - We'd like to know a little bit more first about the process before we go about doing soul stuff. - Ah, you want to talk. All right. He's gonna sit in his comfy chair and just kind of plop down. - Whoops, I was kind of, like, looking at him, just, like, raising an eyebrow, like, "Okay, this is the guy we're assisting." And then, like, transfer our friend's soul into a robot. - And in his defense... - He's one and oh! He's one and oh! - Yeah, but this is, like, even worse than the last time.

- I guess him being drunk is not... or hung over now. Him being hung over is not a great look. - And how many souls has Calypso transferred? - That's what I thought. - Yeah, he's gonna kind of rub his temples. - Please, ask away. I'm more than happy to tell you all about it. - So what exactly does it do? So you put the soul into the warforged body. Is it... would he still have all of his memories? Would he still be Paxton, just in a different body? - Well, the original warforged ritual... that was based on stripping away memories, identity. They would have sentience, but no history, no... nothing like that.

That was done on purpose. To keep them in line, to keep them doing what they're supposed to do. This is much simpler. It's just basically taking that bit out of the equation. It would be taking your friend and putting him in a new body. Now, that comes with complications. You'd lose your sense of taste, touch, smell. There have been a few people who've gone very insane because they couldn't adjust, but that's one in every ten. - Hmm. Is there a way to tell if he... I don't know, if his soul fights against it, if he doesn't want it in the process? Could we stop?

- We can stop at almost at any time. Towards the end, it's... It's go or don't go. But even after he's transferred, his body... still, his body... If he decides he doesn't want it, you can cut his head off. You can... or something... Something more humane, of course, but whatever ends it quickly. - That's some relief, at least. And you haven't done... He wouldn't be forced to follow anyone's orders. - He'd almost look at you like, "Oh my god, what do you think of me?" - Clifso just flat-leg looks back at you like, "There's a history to Warforged. This is a question we have to ask." - So he's going to stand up.

He's offended. Just a "I." - He's going to take... Just kind of like... - "I understand that certain people who were in the Archmage community may have given this project a bad name. But there are many out there who have been burned or maimed, and this is a second chance for them. And unless your friend said something about this beforehand, it might not be the worst idea. He'll still be him. No one will have control over his brain or actions. It'll just be him." - His abilities? - Would those remain intact as well? - What abilities? - I just know that he's a very devout man, and I would hate for him to lose that.

Him being a cleric is what I mean. - Oh. Well. That might be an issue. There's no... There's no guarantee that he would still have all of that. Muscle memory and years of training, it will be a completely new body. I mean... - Is that why you haven't done it yourself? - What do you mean? With me? - Yes, I'm just curious. - What's wrong with my body? He's going to start looking down. - Well, not just you, but... - He likes drinking, Kelsey. - Yeah, I mean, they're not going to comment on that, but... - Well, okay, it's not that he likes drinking. It was a drinking occasion.

- Other Archmages and people with abilities as well, though I imagine people with a know-how are rather rare. It just seems that, I don't know, you would see more wizard warforged walking about once they got close to death. - Well, it's a blend of things. What I was just talking about, there's no guarantee that any Archmage with any extensive knowledge would retain any of those powers. They may have to start training all over again. And the good news is you don't age the same way. You just have to maintain your body and you could theoretically live forever if you didn't go insane.

- Would he need to eat? - No. No, no, no, no, no. No eating, no drinking, no defecating, none of that. - Those were all Paxton's favorite things to do. He loved drinking and eating and shitting. Those were all his favorites. Poor guy. - Yeah, at this point it's already dead. It's not like that can really get worse. So you understand why we have to ask you these things and just not... - No, I understand. It's definitely not for everyone. And we may find out he hates it. And if so, that's something we deal with when we deal with it. He's going to look over to Chiolo.

Did you talk to them about the other thing? - Yeah, I brought it up, but they had a lot of questions too. Important questions. It's not like slapdash questions. This is also a big thing. They're both big things. - I figured maybe we should handle Paxton first before... - Right. We were more on the clock for the first thing. - Yes, as an expiration date, we should... Yes. Well, take him this way. Mind the bookshelf. And he's going to go start getting set up. - As they're walking down the stairs, Gwen is going to lean towards Chiolo and is like, "You're right. The bookshelf's pretty cool." - Yeah, right.

See? See? - Yeah. It's rad. It's rad as hell. - I wonder if Calypso's place has one of these too. I bet it has like eight. - Probably, right? - Yeah. - There's at least two, man. There's... - Yes. I like the secret doors. - And some paintings that you can stick your eyes into. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. We're going to roll through secret doors. - It opens into a chute that you can slide down. - Hell yeah. - Yeah. - How does it work mechanically in terms of Paxton's new body? Do we pick all of these War Force bodies, what he's going to use, or are we going to be that is ready to go?

- Well, there's one that's ready to go, but I would be sitting down with Zack and we're going to build the look of this thing together. - Ah, hell yeah. - Cool. - No luck. - Because we got to get Martin done. - So, you know. - How are you feeling, Zack? - Oh, I'm feeling great, guys. Excellent work. Continue, continue. I'm just waiting for what happens next. - It is resonated with us. - I don't want to say too much because I don't want to influence anything. So, excellent. - Yeah. You don't want to rob the decision of the drama, right? - Absolutely. So, you know, it's been so much, like this episode has been the moral dilemma of how is he going to feel afterwards?

And you guys have to wait for that one. Definitely earned that. - No! - Curse my metal body. - So, bringing Paxton down here and setting him up in that chair there. So the Archmage is going to start to strap him in. There are these big thick leather belts to kind of keep his arms and legs. And then there's one that goes around his throat to kind of keep him back there. And this is sitting right next to the singular Warforged body, the one that's different from the other ones. The other ones are more uniform. And he's kind of going to give everybody a look before he gets started.

Like, does anybody have anything to say? Because any more questions? - I mean, a 10% chance of the crazies. That's like about the same chance of getting an overtaxed cleric to cast a resurrection spell for you. And we were pretty sure we weren't going to get that. So... - That's true. So he's going to start this ritual and... - Hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did we actually all really, really okay this? Just, I feel like we just kind of like shrugged and then Jason started narrating. Are we all good? - Oh, yep. Yeah, I'm in. - Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah.

- I was about to say, I'll take your silence as tacit approval. Like, I'm... So he's going to start this ritual and it takes about 10 minutes. About five minutes in, there's going to be some heavy arcing electricity. He would have probably told you at some points, like, stand way back. Like, just way back. - Probably took Paxton's armor off to him. - Oh God, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not making a baked potato. Like, we're, you know, we... - Can you stick the thermometer in Paxton and figure out when he's ready? - Yeah. We want him at least 375. That's the best.

- Baste Paxton regular. - You don't want him dry. So at the nine minute and 50 second mark, Paxton's body, if not strapped down, would have rocketed off of this chair. Like, there's a violent surge of electricity that shoots through his body. So much so that it looks like he's alive for a couple of seconds, and in tremendous pain. It looks like someone's electric, like his arms and muscles are going to contort and like, strain almost. And then everything's going to stop. All the lights are going to go out. And slowly, almost like emergency lights, these light blue orbs are going to light up around the room here.

And you can just make out... Paxton's silhouette in the chair just like, slumped. Kind of. You can smell burning hair and like, slightly cooked flesh. Like, you can smell... It's not pleasant. And this is not a ventilated room. However... That warforged body is going to spring to life. Zach, I need you to do me one favor. Absolutely. I need you to give me the last Flak D20 of the day. And if it's a one or two, you're going to have some crazy baked in. Could it be? But what are the odds? I need higher... Exactly. Precisely 10%. Those are the odds. Shut up! Knowing Paxton, you said it would be a one or a what?

One or two? One or two. One or two? I think it needs to be a three or a four as well. Oh no. He has a very good chance of going crazy. Okay! Even a five at this rate. You're filling us with regret. No, stop. I respect that you're being honest. He has an excellent chance of going crazy. So you want a 25% chance? Yes. Okay. At least get something for this. Negotiate. Yeah, make a deal. 25% chance of the crazies, but also laser hands. Also laser hands. Trust me. Like, okay, I'm going to sit down with Zach and do this. Zach's going to be fine. Like, I think there may be some crazy, but he's going to go out in a blaze of glory.

I'm thinking Optimus Prime when he was resurrected later in the show, like season three. Like that kind of shit. We're going to go on a quest for the Allspark, you guys. I mean, that sure means something to me. It's actually called the all about Matrix of Leadership. The Allspark is just kind of... Shia Labeouf had to put back in Optimus Prime's chest when they were like in the pyramids of Egypt or something, right? That's what happened. It means that Shia Labeouf went to pyramids and ruined them in movies. I can think of twice now. That's too many. Kelsey, I need a flat T20 to see if Calypso goes crazy too now.

And if you do go crazy, you're going to see robots with gold teeth who don't read. That's what... That's what... What about the robot that has wrecking ball nuts? Yep. Oh my gosh. You guys are taking me back to the worst. Oh, you haven't seen this. Of course I haven't seen this. Oh, it's so bad. I was so mad. It's like, hey, we got people from the original cast to do voices. I'm like, yay. And then Michael Bay is going to direct. It's like, oh no. Yep. They are testicles that are wrecking balls. All right. Without further ado, let's see if I go crazy. Yes. Okay. Anything but a one through five.

Six and higher, you're good. I have a strong mind. It's all right. Okay. Fifteen. Nothing but high rolls today. All right. So Paxton is going to eventually kind of focus. Like, I imagine, like, you don't have to blink now, but like, I imagine there's a couple of seconds where it's very bleary and slowly but surely you're going to look down and see you. So do I like I get up in my Warforged body, but it's kind of like an outer body experience almost because I look over and see Paxton charred in a chair. And that's what that shock right there is what almost puts them in that crazy state instantly.

But since he doesn't go crazy, he's just going to look down at his old body. Then he's going to assess himself and see he's mostly when he touched himself. Is it like metal skin type or is it like you are mostly reinforced steel? It is. But there's no sense of touch. It's like you ever sit on the toilet so long your leg goes numb. Yeah, it's like that. So you could stand up. You could use that leg, but it feels like it's just it's just meat. It's like it's not you know what I mean? This feels like there's no feedback. There's no it's just he's going to look around for the first time like he's becoming aware other people are around.

Are the lights still dark? I think I think for now they're like dim, not dark. And then the Archmage would eventually kind of like get his shit together and like turn everything back on. I guess G.O.L.O. will speak up and say, hey Paxton, man, you in there? He is going to slowly turn his head towards you and like he'll start doing like a regurgitating type type movement. He's going to scratch at his neck. Then he's going to go. I can't feel anything. G.O.L.O. Yeah, so it's going to take some getting used to, but we figured this was preferable to you know, being dead because you seem to have a lot of lot to do and you seem to have unfinished business.

So just like we helped Gwen get back on her feet, we talked to the Archmage and we did the same for you, although he kind of had different equipment to work with for you. He's going to take a second. To take that in, he's going to say. I think I am starting to grasp the situation. I understand that I have died and this may have been the only way to bring me back. That's yeah, I mean, we didn't have a ton of time, so we had to take the opportunity that was available. What happened in the city was because of me and my passion. I think this suits me perfectly for what I have done.

I thank you all for your help. I get to see you all again and try to be better in a different mindset. Fuck you, Zach. That's amazing, but that hurts. Yeah, oh man, I I'm sorry. Are people speechless? Like, I don't know. I was too good. That was too good. That's amazing. But also just off of the top. I'm just like, no, I did not expect to get this twist, but like, just give it teeth. You just yeah. Okay. Okay, sorry. No, it was just man. You got you got us. I honestly think that'd be a good time for us to stop for the night. Um, man, I'm glad you're not crazy. Yeah, it's not over yet.

I'm not initially crazy. Yeah, I'm not crazy. As far as the dice. Would you say, Jamie? Because I'm also glad that you're not pissed. It kind of feels like a win. I feel like Gwen would have given you a hug, but that's just going to make it more sad because you can't feel it. So but I can understand your human compassion for emotions. This could be great. I'm sure you heard at the beginning of the episode, but again, August 28, 3 p.m. Eastern Time, 12 p.m. Pacific. It's the war in Talor. All day long, we'll be streaming sessions for you guys, just like a mini theoryathon.

That's when we launch our brand new setting book, Kickstarter, and we need your help more than ever. Make sure to spread the word. Make sure and let everybody know. Make sure and back the project if you can. Help us bring this to life as we've been working for many months behind the scenes. We can't wait to bring you another book packed full of stuff for your home campaign to thumb through, steal, take, change, whatever you want to do. There will be another preview. You could thumb through it while we're playing for you. Again, that's August 28 at 3 p.m.

Eastern, noon Pacific. We hope to see you there. All that being said, we'll see you next week with another brand new episode. Until then, good luck with your games.