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Arc 5 · Episode 4

Friends till the End

2022-02-27 · 1:44:20
A group must work with a demon lord to escape hell.
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Episode Transcript Auto-generated, lightly formatted

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

[CLINKING] Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. I think they mean us. Oh, [BLEEP] Um-- [CLEARS THROAT] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't got to cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the show D&R Podcast. I've just got a couple of things before we jump into the episode. Please feel free to check us out on patreon.com/dandr. There you will find a link to our Discord, along with a bunch of other extra content for D&R.

We have also the Twitter @dandrpodcast, and Facebook Dungeons and Randomness, Instagram as well, Dungeons and Randomness. And we just started streaming on Twitch, so you can catch all of our episodes on Twitch every Saturday at 7 PM EST. And I am also here to shill our tea public. Check out this awesome design for our group, Forsaken. Please check it out. They've got all the different groups on there as well. And I think that's about it. So let's roll into the episode. ♪♪♪ Ooooooooh, let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves.

I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master. Damn it, Game Master. Damn it, I gotta drill that into my head. Going around the table starting with Jameson. Hi, I'm Jameson and I am going to introduce my character. Yeah, I mean, I mean, we're not really burying the lead anymore. That's true. I'm Larg again, finally, as long as... And Zak. What's up, my name is Zak and I play for this new arc, Blevins Elmar Rufferford. Oh, I like that. I like that rolling of the R- ah, I love that. I like that. And Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa and I am playing once again, Vella. Love her. And Karen. Hi, I'm Karen.

I will be reprising my role as Josephine. And last and certainly not least, Jamie. Hello, I am Jamie and I am playing once more Tatiana. Wait, I'm the only person that didn't bring someone back. Yeah, you are. Boy, I am stupid. I was about to say, dude, you've had like three months to figure that out. We all just figured it's like, he knows what he's doing. It's not like one of your characters famously died horribly. Like, it's fine. It's a fan favorite nonetheless. You guys gotta tell me these things. I had no idea. Dude, you know how many people are in the chat right now?

It's like, oh, fuck. There's a bunch of people who just figured it's a lock, right? No. Anyway, can I start out tonight by just saying fuck Warner Brothers Entertainment? I just wanted to say that right off the bat, not just for what they did to the ZCEU. They took down our Batman shirt twice. Cease and desist. Fine. That's fine. I want you to go on T-Public right this minute and type in the word Batman. And look how many pages of things come up. Now, I don't know why. Ours got taken down. We didn't tag it Batman or name it Batman or anything. We just avoided it.

So just, just, just, just, just a big old friendly fuck you, Warner Brothers. Can't wait for Justice League 2. Okay. Uh, away. No hard feelings or anything. No, no, I just, look, we were never going to break even on the shirt. It wasn't about that. It was just about the option. It was up for two days. Anyway. Sorry. Tonight is kind of special and we've sort of been saving you guys for the last group to debut because this is probably the densest group to get through in terms of, uh, if you're a new listener, you might be a little lost, but here's the, here's the meat and potatoes of the situation.

Just about everybody, as you heard, uh, is reprising a role. These are all dead characters and we're going to be playing a campaign in hell. Now, obviously you don't want to stay here. You want to get out, but we're going to tackle that in just a bit. Um, for those of you who haven't been listening to the show, I want to take you back a few years. We were wrapping up the end of, uh, I believe it was arc three and, uh, there was this huge showdown with a guy named Darmok, uh, demon Lord, uh, big old, big old meanie. Let's say pretty much a psychopath who wanted to, uh, just sort of crossover and enter Theria and then track down an old, I'm using quotation fingers here, lover, uh, and torture her for all eternity because he, theirs was an unhealthy relationship, let's say.

So, uh, we, we didn't want that. And, uh, some people sacrifice their lives to keep him in hell. And the thing is, we've never caught up with them. And we do know that the last time we saw Lark, he essentially tackled Darmok into a portal that was open from hell. So both of them went tumbling in sadly Tatiana didn't make it out of that cavern before being crushed. Um, which really has to suck because you were so close. You almost, the, the, the boss fight was over. This is like your controller dying at the credits. Like it sucked. Like it was, it was real bad.

So I would like to start today with that portal over hell picturing a picture, uh, like a, like, this is a pretty big height and both Lark and Darmok are going to be tumbling into that, falling out of the sky. We're talking hundreds of feet. And if I may load up a map for all of you, um, I think, I think we need to show this off because me sitting here trying to describe it isn't going to do it justice. So I'm going to summon you guys here, but we're, I'm not going to put your minis there because I know what you guys are like. So, oh, getting some Dark Souls vibes.

Oh yeah. This is huge. It's a big boy. Hell no way. Yeah, it's a big, it's big. This is, this is one layer. So big shout out, obviously, to the wonderful people that had a hand in making all these maps. Now, each one you're seeing for, uh, Ark 5 was made by a different talented person. This is from Alostri and the, the, the, the link for, uh, their Twitter, their stuff is in the feed right now. Please go check them out. If you guys want commission stuff and Tailspire, we pretty much got the four horsemen. It was fucking awesome. So, uh, yeah, just, oh, This is so dope.

Absolutely beautiful. Wow. Like, I just keep scrolling and I'm like, it's crazy. You know, and I know like, we're a lot of, uh, an audio podcast, but you're missing out if you can't see this. Twitch. It's just a lot of detail you can't, it's hard to describe. That's what I was saying. I was going to sit here and describe it, but like, uh, it's tough. Like it's very, it's obviously, you know, lava and fire and all that, but there are whole towers constructed of bone powder and like, it's so, it's, uh, it's so awesome. So lay down in front of you as a trek you're going to have to take, but first off let's tackle a couple of things because hell doesn't work like Tharia, obviously.

You can die in hell and we'll get to the mechanics of that, but just to let you know, you're not invulnerable. It's just, just takes a little more, you know? So both Darmok and Larg are going to come tumbling in here and there's almost like this mock cemetery. Kind of like, um, like a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy. Like there's tombstones and if they're, but you know, when you walk into a cemetery, it feels like hollow. Like it feels like a hallowed thing. It's like, oh, well don't like, I'm not sure, like a jerk off kid knocking over tombstones or something, but like there's kind of a, there's a feeling of respect there.

None of that's here. It's like, this is a set, props, that type of thing. So Darmok is going to hit back first and wrap around one of these fences essentially, and just kind of like back sprawl to lay there. And Larg is going to land about five or 10 feet away, just blam. And there's a good 30 seconds while you're both kind of lying there. For Larg, I imagine it's a, it's probably a lot to process because in the moment you sacrifice yourself. And in a lot of stories, that's the end, right? That character sacrificed themselves. It's like, well, we'll tell, but in a situation like this, what happens then?

Like what, you have to live with the decision you've made and you're not dead. It's not like there's nothing after death. You were, I mean, you are dead, but you know what I mean? You didn't cease to be, you're still conscious. So what's the first thing Larg's thinking in a place like this? Like the first, like getting, like kind of getting up to his hands and knees and like looking around, like what's the first thing? It feels to me like Larg is very single-minded about this whole thing. Yeah. Like the primary mission was accomplished. Like we kept Darmok from leaving hell.

But Larg's whole thought process right now is that can't happen again. So, you know, you ever seen somebody get hit in football and other, in wrestling, I guess, too, and things like that. If somebody gets hit really hard and all they're trying to do is get back up. And even though they're like, they're, the wind is knocked out of them, they're disoriented, kind of like staggering a little bit. That's him. He's trying to get to his feet almost immediately after hitting the ground. And he's not going to be successful for however long those first 30, 60 seconds.

But that's what he's trying to do. He's immediately trying to get to his feet and get to where Darmok landed. Okay. First of all, that was the most dad reaching out to a son verbiage ever. And it's like, yeah, and I guess in wrestling too, like, thank you. I appreciate that. I guess, I guess they... Well, I saw football and I was like, I've lost you already. So... I know of football. I understand that. Like, tell me of this football. Like, I know, like, fuck. But like, it was very, it was very, it's like, I guess they put their bodies on the line too, whatever.

So, you know, it's, it's... Well, yeah, I mean, for, I mean, wrestling is the worst example in the sense that it's... They're both concussion riddled sports. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. If you've ever seen somebody get really hit and just try to get to their feet for whatever, whatever's next. Yeah. He's just trying to be ready. So he's going to try to get to his feet. If he does get up first, which based on how you described as landing, I think, tell me if I'm wrong. It sounds like I would get up first. You, yeah. I want to see how ready you are, how you can check this off.

So do me a favor. Give me a fortitude, class and your endure skill. Ooh, okay. So my fortitude, get right into the dice. My fortitude is a 10. My class is an eight and endure is a 10. It's a low roll. That's an eight. You just fell into hell. You have every right. So I'm going to say this at the very least is 2d8. Let's see what happens. Just to, just to see. Wow. Okay. Okay. Lucky. So in cortex, we ditch ones. So that's, that's gone by by. So in this case you do, you beat, you definitely beat Darmok to his feet because there's like there's fencing. That's kind of like raw iron fencing, not, not pokey or anything.

Just like kind of warped and just bent and he fell back first and then wrapped around like that. Like he's, he should be dead. Obviously, if this were, if you were back in the land of the living, this, that would be flat out. Oh, that guy's dead, but demon Lord. And you know, so you are up, you are up to your feet and I imagine kind of like using a tombstone or something to like stagger over and, and just kind of like you at the way you describe it. It's just desperation getting over. Yeah. In fact, we'll, we'll take it a step further. Let's say Larg uses a tombstone to sort of steady himself, get to his feet.

Then he's going to try to essentially like kick the base of it and break it off and he's going to carry the tombstone over to Darmok. Oh God. Yeah. This will crumble pretty. Like I said, this is all kind of like, he's not worried about the sanctity of it. So, yeah, no, it's still obviously made of stone. Like, so I guess a big slab of granite or something like it's, yeah. So Larg's a big strong guy. I imagine he can lift this up and what, what are you doing? We're going to try to finish the deal on Darmok. We're not letting him get back up if we can help it.

So he's going to, he's going to go over to him and he's going to be, you know, winded and gas and, and, and probably in a not small amount of pain. And he's just going to say, he's going to just be like, that's the last time we bring it down on him. That's it. Shit. Okay. Give me an attack. Count that as like a blunt object. So we're going to hit him with the tombstone. So that's going to be might and. Sorry, I picked you Undertaker. I just, I can't, it's just. Had to start with something, right? So we're going to do an eight, a 10, and then you said blunt is going to be club would be the skill I assume, right?

Yeah. You're clubbing him with this. Yeah. With this tombstone. Okay. Holy shit. Yeah. So let's take, let's take the, oh, shoot. Hang on. I got to look at the scores again. Let's take the 10 as an effect die and have him beat a 12. Well, shit. I'm going to let him defend here, but it's not looking great. I'm going to be honest. Oh boy. Okay. Oh, they just landed. Wow. Okay. That first of all, that landed in a huddle of tombstones and then I rolled two twos. So I'm going to take that as an omen. Like how did it looks like? Got him. It's the money. It is. So where are you hitting him?

Head chest? Like what? Yeah. I mean, if he's bent over this way, I guess we're doing, I guess we're going to head, right? Like he'll, he'll kind of like stumble around the fence to whichever side his head landed on. And we're going to, I guess, like if he's upside down, just bottom of the chin. Okay. Yeah. So like, I guess. Yeah. He's like laying back like this. Right. So you're going to just slam down on him. And that fence post is just going to like give and like fall over. And he's going to just come like sliding down into the dirt. Just you clobbered him with this thing, broke it over his head.

So there is not a small amount of blood coming from his noggin. And it's this viscous kind of kind of kind of like a charcoal colored liquid coming out of him, kind of like it'll bubble up every once in a while. It's not like blood, blood and just that almost seemed to jar him, like wake him up a little bit. And he's rolled over onto his hands and knees. And he is desperately clawing into this. Oh, man, how do I describe this dirt? It is it's kind of a mixture of like ground up cobblestone and sand almost. It's really hard to get your footing. It's it's it's imagine sand, but there's big chunky bits every once in a while.

And he's just trying to like claw forward and he's doing a poor job of getting away. So he's crawling away from me. Good. He's not trying to come at me. I don't think he said, yeah, he's definitely not as. Yeah. So I'm going to I'm going to roll for my next decision here, because I want to see if something would occur to me if that's OK. Sure. If a D&D equivalent of like a self-imposed like intelligence check or something like that, how would you want me to do that? Just do your your class and intelligence class intelligence. OK. Yeah. So all right. It'll be low to D8.

What would you say? So what would you say the difficulty of that would be? Well, so I just rolled a 10 and I'll tell you what I'm thinking is basically how much of this current circumstance will actually sink into him at this point, like his single mindedness once he's actually hit him and like seems to be on top, like he feels like he's accomplished this. Do we notice where we are now? You know. Oh, OK. So this is more of this is perception almost like it's it's so this is coming down off of what would have been in the previous system, like a barbarian rage.

This is like, OK, like that's dealt with and he looks around type thing. OK, I'll tell you what, I'll roll to D8 is your difficulty. Give me a savvy class and detect just to kind of like take it in because it's like, man, it got hot in here. Like it's like it's very cool. All right. So how do I get out of here? Oh, no. Just kind of. OK, it's not going to be great either. Yeah, no, I got a four total. Well, I rolled poorly so far. Hold on a second. Let me roll it. OK, maybe I'll roll another second three. I don't know. Not that time. So I'm going to hit him again then because I didn't know I haven't noticed where I am yet.

So you just slamming it down on his back. Yeah, he's going to try to crawl away. And and Lars is just he's just going to be like, what I said before, he's going to say it again. He says never again, not ever again. And he's going to like just almost talking to himself, like under his breath, and he's going to hit him in the back with the tombstone. So it's so it's basically it's like, well, he's still moving. It ain't done. Like you're it's so single minded that you're just like, well, it's when we were talking to Jadzi and Astrahole, like we got the full picture of what it took to kill this guy.

And he came back anyway. So what he would like when he was a mortal, just a regular guy, he was he haunted Astrahole. He killed dozens of women. They were like, I mean, he is a monster. He was a monster before he was a monster. So and so, yeah, give me another attack. Just give me another just club club the fucker club. Sorry, guys, campaign might be quick. Oh, my God. We'll make it a 17 with an effect. I have 10 then. Well, then. Yeah, so, OK, he's going to roll defense again. No, he's he's this is not his time, like you're you're kicking the shit out of him.

So you're going to come down again and he's going to stop crawling like it's just he's it almost looks like he's trying to do a push up and then just flat on the ground. And his face is just kind of like buried in this this course, kind of said, of course, rough sand. This court and it gets everywhere. So like he's going to you know, he's he's kind of like spitting it out, kind of. And there's like he's gasping just like just this kind of like ragged. You know, minutes ago, this guy was casting huge spells and, you know, all unlimited power, like, you know, going after you and now like, you know, most of that's got to be exhausted or whatever.

But you you have him on the ropes and there's going to be this low chuckle. He starts to do like he's just like he's either so completely gone that his circumstances and sinking in or he knows something you don't know. And he's just crawling, just kind of like trying to get up, just like this gaspy kind of like just it almost sounds liquidy because he's like intermittently coughing up sand. And blood like just. Yeah, he's leaking a lot. Yeah, he's leaking. Yes. OK, so we'll kind of hook a toe under his shoulder and try to flip him over. And Largo Neil. On his chest with basically his full body weight, he's not letting up on him at all, but he'll he'll kneel on his chest and he'll kind of lean down.

So he's like right face to face with them. And he'll say, tell me how you did it. And you'll I'll make sure you never do it again. That's a terrible pitch. That is a bad place to start a negotiation. We got a low intellect here, boys and girls. We probably should have kept hitting them, but well, OK, that is are you trying to intimidate him into doing? Yeah. So basically it's it's a you're going to die anyway. So so tell me what I want to know. OK, give me if. Yeah. Give me your your presence class and scare presence class and scare. OK. And eight and 10. OK. To the eight's to the tens and an eight again.

Oh, low. Yeah, that was not a good approach, apparently, because I got a five on that one was not a great pitch. But let's see what he rolls. Maybe he'll maybe he'll roll poorly. So it's his mental resolve in class. So. Kind of a mixed bag, honestly. But enough, but enough. Yeah. Boy, how would he react to that? I don't think he would do anything to openly antagonize like, oh, maybe he'll spit at you, but that's not really his style. So you have him pinned. He is he is on his back now. And every once in a while, like he's trying to like get some kind of leverage to get up and then he's going to stop like it's it's futile.

You have him. Have you noticed where you are? I don't think. OK, so. It doesn't matter, it just matters that you're not there. I'll keep you out of there for as long as it takes. Is there a piece of wrought iron near me? Sure. Yeah, I mean, there's there's bunches. Is it OK? Sorry, I keep I keep jumping out of it to ask questions. Is it like, oh, it's just all twisty or is it like old and rusty? Most of this is kind of a. It's it's definitely got it's mostly bent, but I'd say like the tips or corners are rusted. OK. All right. While he's talking to me, I'm just going to see if there's a loose piece that I can grab.

I'm just going to grab one. But he can he's he's free to respond. Yeah. Pay no attention to what I'm doing. I mean, it's not like he could stop you anyway. So he's again, just like gasping for air like this is the weakest you've definitely like seen him. Oh, I think once you hear what I have to say, you may be open to negotiation. I don't think you understand. How impossible that would be to negotiate with you. And I'm going to take the piece of wrought iron that I grabbed and would I be able to bend it? Perhaps I want to I want to bend this iron. Let's see.

Like strongman style kind of. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yes. So give me give me my class and exert exert of these skill names. I don't see. Never mind. There is. OK. It's not alphabetized. It drives me insane. It's the one that's not. So how let's say, you know what, to the eight is fine. That's that. That's how tough this iron is. You're a strong. Well, OK, so. Well, yeah, no, that's not going to work. It doesn't work. I can't bend it. No, not with that. No. So if I can, I'll keep trying as we're talking. I'll try again after another round. Like maybe you're like you're so worked up, you're like, yeah, of course.

Look, you just like I just fell 200 feet. You know, I may be a little weakened as well. Maybe your fucking shoulders a little sore. It's like, yeah, let's say you're you're just trying to. Yeah, but I've clearly got a side project as he's trying to talk his way out of this. So so he's. He's kind of glancing all over, right? His eyes are darting back and forth like he's like you could tell he's looking for anything, right? And then his eyes are going to settle just behind you. What if I told you one of your friends didn't make it out? That'll make him stop.

Said they all made it. They would. I got you out. There's no reason that they wouldn't have made it. What are you talking about? And I'm going to try to bend the thing again. Give it to me. You made me mad. Keep that 15. Yes. You keep the 15. So I just have to beat that. Yeah. Seventeen. Oh, you can only take two. All right. So, no. 13. OK. What do you mean? Now, I think you're like I think the second time you're trying to do it like nonchalant. What do you mean? Face alternate. And he's going to like he's going to kind of like raise his hand and like point in like just behind you.

He'll he'll turn around and look. He's he's just gullible enough to look when somebody points to something. So he'll like raise up and turn around and look behind. So behind you kind of floating above one of these graves, there is a form starting to take shape, kind of a kind of a pale blue, almost ghostly. And it's going to start with a pair of boots and almost almost like it's recreating like skeletal structure and everything all the way up, like layer after layer. And Tatiana is going to be there, but like hanging almost like from from a hook, like in a meat locker hanging.

So not not not conscious and not fully formed, but like the ghost of Tatiana. Perfect. Just like that. So do that for the rest of the session. What sucks is I keep forgetting that there are visuals now and I do this shit all the time when we record. It'll make stupid faces. And now I have to think about the fact that people are going to see me. Fuck. No, no, no. That's perfect. No, that's perfect. Don't change for them. No, this is great. This is just added stuff. So he's going to see that start to happen and he's going to look back to Darmok and try to like read his face and he's going to look back and kind of double take a little bit.

But in slow motion, then he's going to look down at Darmok and he's going to just lean down a little bit. He's going to go, is this a trick? One, I think I think normally he'd fuck with you a bit, but it's just probably nice not to get hit in the face for a couple of seconds. So I again, just kind of like kind of like cracking his neck and stretching, just trying to like what he's trying to shake off the fall to his plan. His plan didn't go according to, well, plan. And like now he's getting the shit kicked out of him in hell. Like this couldn't be worse.

Oh, this isn't this isn't my doing. But there's no one at the wheel. Unless someone steps in, her soul just floats here. I'm going to go step in then. And so I'm going to take that piece of wrought iron in my hand and I'm going to drive it through his chest and pin him to the ground if I can. Good God. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you try. You bastard. Stay there. Stay there. I'm going to get up. Just a. You need more like 80s action movie one liners. So, oh, yeah, we got to get a little Schwarzenegger in here. Yeah. So give me what I guess we're going pointy now. So let's go.

Let's go stab. So might class stab. It's not one of my strong suits. People get their. Oh, I don't like that. I think he's going to I think he's going to defend like, fuck that. Like, OK, he's got to beat a six. So, well. Geez. So let's let's go with his finesse isn't good, but I want to try to. He's got an injury. Die. What do I roll for that? If we're counting injury die, so do you. I'll take it honestly, because it's OK. That's honest, right? Yeah, sure. Let's throw some details in there. You get a detail and I get a detail. I think that's pretty OK. Here's the 10.

OK, well, that brings it up to a to a seven. All right. Well, his finesse isn't amazing. So to the eight. But oh, come on. I haven't rolled well all night. That's another one, isn't it? You bitch. So that's a seven. I got a six. So fuck me. So you are going to drive this through his chest and kind of like burrow in to that like rocky, sandy start. There's almost like a crust that you have to get through and you're kind of like, oh, and he is going to let loose this scream, this like all the breathy, like I'm in your ear, asthma creepy is gone for just a moment while he just shrieks into the void.

And he's going to be like clutching at this thing and like he's not strong enough to get this out of him. But like, yeah, so. Yes, I'm going to I'm going to stand up, satisfied that that worked pretty well, and go over to where Tatiana is and just kind of like approach it carefully. Like, does she react at all in any way? No, not even not even looking at like kind of like hanging like a marionette with the strings pulled up, like just kind of like looking down, just kind of like floating there. Think. Almost World of Warcraft when you die, but like you're not you're not sent it, you're just kind of like hanging.

Just kind of ragdoll. Yeah. OK, yes, he's going to kind of slowly walk up and he's going to be like, Tati. Hey, hey, can you hear me? He's going to like get to a point where he's close enough to touch, but he's not going to try yet. Nothing, nothing. OK, so, yeah, he'll he'll reach up and try to if he can reach it, he'll try to touch her hand. Yes, it's it's incorporeal, like it's just you just kind of like phase right through. OK, well, I'm a paladin. I'm going to try to invoke some sort of paladin ability, like a lay on hands type thing that I know I used to be able to do and should have no reason to do now.

And I'm going to try to get some some of that going, see if I can use that to affect something. Sure. Let's let's just do it for free. So you're you can't touch her, so you can't technically lay on hands. But, you know, like you're you're trying to like funnel or channel. It's like the Healy Juice, like you're just trying different things, you know, like you're it's like, well, that's OK. This this is clearly so you're going to try this for for probably a few minutes. And it's just not it's just not clicking. Nothing's happening. Like no motion from her.

No, it doesn't look like she's conscious, sentient, anything. And Dharmak is kind of back to the the the cackle, like just almost mocking you. You're not going to be able to do anything for her. Do you know how many people are lost down here? So he was able to ignore when he started cackling or whatever while he was continuing. Jesus Christ, I hate this cat. All right. Sorry. He was able to ignore it for a while. But when he says that he's going to turn around and say, no, I don't. Why would I know that? Come over here and fix this. And he's going to come over, like get the like rip thing out of the ground.

And be like, if you know how to do it, you're going to do it right now. If you pull the thing out, one, there's going to be this gushy kind of sound as you as you pull out this kind of this black, drippy kind of again, it's almost like a like there's some gray swirls in there. And it's going to be all over that that piece of blunt yet stabby wrought iron. I guess you could stab anything with anything if you put enough force into it. Yeah. You know what I mean? So he's he's going to slowly stand up here. And he's going to wave his hand and slowly but surely, almost as if blinders are being taken off of Lark.

You're going to see body after body after body hanging, just like Tatiana is just soul after soul after soul, almost this endless field. And he's he's the one leaning against the tombstone at this point, like after that. While the gods bicker with each other, they're all lost down here. If you want me to save her. You're going to have to help me get to the other end. And there's a hint of desperation in his voice when he's talking about the other end. So he'll take that and he'll like as he was talking, he was looking around at all these other spirits as well.

And then he'll finally turn and kind of look and take in the broader landscape of the literal hellscape of where we are. And he'll just kind of like squint into the distance. What's on the other end? There is a way out. But we don't have much time. Believe it or not, I've made some unpopular choices here. And my colleagues may not be too pleased with me. You help me get to the other side. I'll bring her back. You'll each have a chance at least. Or you can take your chances. He's just going to like motion out to all that. Yeah, and he'll follow his motion to look back out at it again and then he'll look back at him and then to Tatiana.

You bring her back. And I'll get you to the other side. But we're going to do it my way. That's it. You drive a hard bargain, but there's not much for him to barter with right this minute. So, again, kind of hunched over a little. And you get the feeling that right now he's at the end of his tether power wise. So him leaving hell probably took almost everything he had. Then the huge fight with you guys, then tumbling back in, then get his head stoved in for five or 10 minutes. He's not doing so hot. So he's going to wave his hand. But there's not a lot of precision in it.

It's more just like, blah, and like he's almost going to fall over. And with that, from the tip of her head down to the tip of her boots, it's almost like it's like an AMC classic being colorized or something. It's like she's going to become corporeal and then just fall two or three feet and kind of like land on her hands and knees. But again, this wasn't very precise. And more people are going to be animated along with her. So other figures are going to drop down as well. And it's just like with that, I think Darmach is going to kind of like tumble down to his knees and just like ragged, just like real wheezing, almost asthmatic breathing.

Yeah. So for the moment, we're going to Largo forget about Darmach and he'll actually run over. If he's not there in time to catch Tatiana, he'll at least like be right there to help her, you know, like put a hand on her shoulder and try to help her get to her feet. Hey, hey, is that you or are you there? Tatiana is probably very out of breath and very worn. If Largo was to look at her, he would notice that she seems and looks extremely tired. And she's just going to look up at Larg and just say, what happened? Did we win? Well, yes and no. Roiling cauldron of fucking flames around them.

Do you want the good news? We're going to do a good news, bad news. So actually say yes and no. I thought you were supposed to get out when the portal closed. You all ran, right? Yeah, we tried to leave and she's going to sort of start to realize and remember. And then the walls and the ceiling came crashing down. I was reaching out, but I couldn't, I couldn't leave. Do you know if everybody else made it? I'm not sure. I don't, I don't know. OK, well. And he'll, he'll like try to get her to her feet like as much as she can handle standing on her own. But he'll, he'll try to hold her up if he can.

So we won. He's in hell. He didn't get out, but we're here now, too. And I'm sorry. She's going to look around and start to see everything around and then probably see Darmukh over in the corner wheezing to himself. What the fuck? Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking, too. Listen, he's real hard to kill. So. This is kind of complicated. I'm glad you're here, actually. I'm not. But, you know, I don't really know what to do anymore. And I think seeing Darmukh over in the corner, Tatiana is going to try to find her weapon and and start to walk over to him. Hard to kill.

I'll show him hard to kill. Wait, hang on. I like it, but hang on. Like, catch up with her real quick. So that's what I want to do to that. Sorry, I gave it a couple shots already, but he would only wake you up if I made a deal with him. So we have to do it. And I'm sorry, but I think we can still feel like do like the conspiratorial whisper. Like, I think we can still win. Like, wink. Wake me up. To be clear, do do I feel any different? It's really weird because, I mean, adventure has got to have that talk around a campfire. It's like, what do you think happens after you die?

Like, and you guys were in the awkward situation of knowing there's an afterlife and not all of it's good. So like, it's like, well. You kind of get into the morality of it. It's like, well, we've killed people like bandits and stuff, but those were bad guys. Right? Like it's what if I go to hell? I bet it's pitchforks and torches and all that stuff. It's not great looking around. Like, real estate's terrible. But you're not in pain right this minute. Like, you clearly see that pain's a thing down here because Larg doesn't look great and Darmok looks worse.

So like, I think the, like right away you're kind of taken in and it's like, OK, like you can still feel pain. You feel fine now, but you definitely were not fine a few, like, to you seconds ago. Right. Because you were flattened by a giant piece of stone. So like, it was like immense pain and then almost relief. Yeah. The important thing is if you pooped yourself in life, it's not down here with you. Got it. OK. And that most likely happened with death because all of our muscles relax and that just is a thing that happens. But it doesn't follow you into hell and that's canon.

So that was the big question I had. Everybody gets a change of pants in hell. Like, it's bad. There's your T-shirt. There's another T-shirt right there. Take that down Warner Brothers. I'm just going to make a T-shirt that says Martha. Fuck them. I, fuck them. Martha shits her pants in hell. I would wear that T-shirt. I think Tatiana is going to look towards Darmok and then towards Larg and then towards Darmok and then towards Larg. And then sort of look down at herself and see that she looks just worn and not necessarily different, but she feels a bit strange and sort of everything's connecting in her head that, oh, man.

And she's going to look back at Larg and say, this is fucked. Yeah, I wish I had more good news for you. There's a chance that we'll get out of this, but he's holding at least a bunch of the cards. And as much as I want to just put an end to it right now, I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I can't do the thing he just did to wake you up. So until we find somebody else who can do that, maybe we drag him along. Get out of this, like out of here. He says he knows a way out, but it's on the other side and he'll like gesture vaguely in the direction that was indicated through all that nonsense.

Well, that looks like fun. He'll be like, well, we've been through the divide. I mean, how much worse can it get than death and hell, right? Yeah. So, you know, I really hate that after everything you ended up here, but I'm glad you're here. I didn't think I was that shitty, she's going to say to herself. I mean, I did some shitty things, but I didn't think I was like hell worthy shitty, you know? Oh, he said, he said that it's just everybody now. And he'll like, I don't know if she can see the other ghosts or spirits or whatever, but he'll be like, it's just everybody now.

Jarmak at this point is going to kind of come limping over. Oh, it had nothing to do with who you were. By the way, we weren't properly introduced. And he's going to like hold out his hand to like kind of like kind of shake yours, but it's like underhand. Tatiana will not shake his hand and is just going to look him up and down. There's no need. I'm fully aware of who you are. Then my reputation precedes me. And he's going to like slowly take his hand back. Three others were. I don't know if this is good or bad for them, but like, well, they're here now. So they're going through the exact same thing as Tatiana right now.

So like as you're talking, like they're sort of like they're cloistered around, like within like 20 feet and just getting their bearings like the, you know, and for them an instant went by and then they're here. So starting with Lisa, paint me a picture. I feel like once Bella kind of like comes to you and realize where she is, she's going to be pissed because she was just talking to her friend on the frozen continent and everything was fine. She was warm. She wasn't this hot. And she was just telling him, like, you know, everything's going to be OK.

You know, they're here. We're going to go to the other side. So now she's just sitting there and she's like, once she goes, she's like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. No, this I'm not supposed to. She's just going to be raging over there. Like, I'm not supposed to fucking be here. This is I would love to think that that's your introduction that you like, you know, like Larkin Tatiana talking. It's like you've got to be fucking like just over here. It's like, oh, hello. Like, that's got to be there. The first words that they hear from you. Probably because when she's like, son of a bitch.

I think that would be enough for the two of us to stop. Be like, oh, yeah, I forgot. Like there were other people. Sentiment shared, friend. Could you describe to everybody what your final moments were like from your point of view? Like what what was the last thing that you saw? Just cold. We were on Talor, I believe. No, sorry. I only have Alara on my wall. I didn't have the phone. I'll send you a full map. It's fine. So we were in this snowy wasteland and we came across two like frozen. Not trolls. Or giant. Yeah, it's enough. Her last moments were her just literally freezing to death in this ice breath.

She was knocked unconscious, revived once and then knocked unconscious and died again. And so her last moments were just bitter, cold and painful as she's lying on the ground, like frostbiting to death. So on the one hand, she's like, oh, I'm glad I'm not cold anymore, but what the fuck? We went too far in the other direction. That's the I imagine like you died with what you had on. So you're still like bulked up and all these furs and shit. Yeah, her fur like and she's furry because she's in a tarp, you know, so she's she's probably like sweating underneath that for now.

She's like, you know, just starting to take some of that stuff off, I guess. Zach, what about you? As you know, this this this spirit, as you can see, coming corporeal is a man named Blevins. And when he by the way, first off, I just want to ask when is it OK, my mind's eye, like us three spirits becoming manifesting is because a direct subsidiary of like Dharma just going like, ah. Oh, yeah, no, that is how he was just like it like it wasn't just pure chance, pure bullshit. Look, you guys were just the ones clustered there, like you just happened to be the closest ones to Tati.

That's all. Yeah. Oh, perfect. So Blevins, when he realizes he is sentient again, you know, he's snapping back from that moment of death. And he as soon as he realizes he's him again, he's just going to go, ah, drat. And he's going to look around and. It's kind of gather his bearings, he's a he's a tall, skinny, pale complexion man with you. He's very older looking, kind of like a little little handsome. He has a very gentleman ensemble on of more of a touch of a professional look to him. And he is he has white gloves and a powdered wig with curls, fresh curls that just look like they're well done, like he gets them like he gets pedicures almost daily.

Nothing out of place, nothing out of order. And he just looks around completely disheveled and he's going to say, I thought that was a dream. Where am I? It is going to be very unpleasant here for you. I just want you to know for your character, it's not going to be great. Also, by the way, you could say pasty white guy. I give you permission. Like, it's fine. You could just. Oh, yeah, sure. Sure. It's fine. Mind's eye, whatever. Pick your poison. What were what were his last moments? So Mr. Blevins was employed professionally before his passing. He was with a young master in his house.

Names don't matter at this point. They're all bygone. He was sleeping soundly in his bed and he was thinking in his mind, he was dreaming someone was basically holding a pillow over his head and keeping him there until he woke up in hell. So he is very confused on why he is dead. If that's the case, he thought it was just a nasty dream. He's going to wake up in his bed chambers. So he's going to need some answering for his questions. And Karen. Now, this is the point on the stream where we could have spun the wheel and it could have been any one of a number of characters that you've played.

But what? Sorry. That's the one and done. We're done with that joke. All right. Cool. I got a tight ten. So any... no. I'll see you on the Discord. I'm directly fucking with a woman who helps. I know. I was about to say you directly help with taxes and you could send me to prison. One false box tick and I'm gone. Like, you know it. Oh, yeah. You're totally like a charitable corporation. Yeah. Cats count as kids. Sure. Just tell them. Paint us a picture, Karen. So Joe has... instead of everyone who's like, oh, where are we? Or like, oh, swearing and stuff like that. She's very quiet and she's just like looking at herself because the last thing she remembers is being eaten to death by werewolves.

So she's literally just like looking at her arms, her armor, all that stuff. Because I imagine there's some... I mean, I know we said it was like a little bit of Dusty and like a little worn down, but I imagine there are some tears in the armor. There's probably some scars left over from teeth marks and claw marks and all that stuff. And she's just looking at herself and then looking up at where she is, kind of like almost like jaw drop, like what the fuck happened? Where am I? This is not where I was 20 minutes ago. I don't know what's going on and I'm not going to say anything until I know what's going on.

You're going to see, like I imagine... I imagine it's one of those things where like you catch yourself like hands and knees type thing and you're like looking around, just taking it in. And this... it's so weird because like everyone has a different version of what hell's going to be like, right? But there's like this infinite smoggy sky above you. Like it's not like you're trapped underground. It's not like... it just looks... remember that copy of a copy of a copy thing I said before? Even as you're looking out into the wastes, everything's kind of like hazy, foggy.

Like if you pick up one of these chunks of tombstone or something, it's almost like... It's still stone, but it feels false somehow. Like everything feels just off wrong. And this slender red hand is going to reach down and almost like daintily, like it's like, oh, like just like offering a hand to help you up. I mean, I think she'll take it because like she's just like in a state of shock. Of course. And like looking at her, it's like, oh, my dear. You're in such a state. You've been through a terrible ordeal. And he's going to like kind of like lift your hand up like he's going to kiss it and then just drag his tongue across your knuckles.

I would imagine you pull back. My big, chunky gauntlet. And then he's going to kind of... Just like I would imagine, like there's a piece of like your... It's just like your knuckle was exposed or something like that. Just like and like his hand's still going to be there even as you jerk it away, just like rolling it around on his tongue. I see there's just a bit more to you than meets the eye. And he's going to turn and walk back to walk back to Larg and Tatiana. I'm going to go ahead and say that Larg didn't see that, because then that entire scene would have been interrupted by just a roundhouse, like just a cross across his face.

She's like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's your... And welcome. So we'll say maybe that's the point at which me and Tatiana notice that everybody, you know, there were other people be like, oh, he's touching one of them. Gross. So... Get the hose. Actually, Larg will look at Tatiana and be like, do you think you can help them? I got to talk to I got to talk to this guy real quick. And like he's going to intercept Darmok on his way back from creeping out this girl and like basically do that thing where he grabs him by the collar. He's like, come here. And we like drag him off to the side for a sec.

Again, not much he can do at this point, so just kind of like that, like as the collar is kind of like jerked around his neck, like there's kind of like a bit of resistance, but like he can't out strong Larg. So like he's going to go. I'll scale a one to ten with how violent I've been so far. This is pretty light, but it's not gentle. Well, yeah, but it's the thing. It's the promise of more violence to come. Like it's not... It's sort of pressure. Right. It's like you broke a fucking tombstone over his head. You jacking him by the collar is not exactly like it's like, now we're good.

Like it's no, no, no. Yeah. Now that everybody's up, tombstone. Yeah. Anyway, where were we? No, he's just going to pull him aside and he's going to like low voice, you know, like when when two people go off to the side and they're still arguing, but they don't want anybody else to hear. It's like, all right, listen, you've already done the thing that I need you to do. You still need me. I don't even need you anymore, but I'm going to do what I said I was going to do because I'm a decent person. And I can't say that for you. So you need to keep your mouth shut.

Stay away from them. Only talk to me. Tell me where we need to go and we'll get you there. But that's it. That's the extent of it. We're not friends. You're not to talk to them. Please don't fool yourself. You need me far more than I need you. You have no idea what this place has in store for you. And you wouldn't make it five feet in any direction without me. So. You. And them are going to help me. Get to the other side and make no mistake. I know you have no intention of letting me walk out. So at some point, you and I are going to need to go our separate ways.

But for now. I welcome you to the team. He's going to like put a hand on large shoulder, even if you're still jacking him up by the collar, just like just kind of like kind of like gently like a caress. Like it's like, hey, welcome. So he'll just look at him and he'll say, I'll get you where I said I would get you and no further. And he'll just like give him a shake just to get like get your hand off that thing and just let him go and then rejoin the rest of the group. And there's definitely like, like, just like just like you jerk him out of his out of his thing and like he has to like straighten his straightness collar up again.

Like if you've ever been if you've ever been like school fights are perfect for this. Back in the day when there were lots of school fights and not just, you know, shootings, but like they like you get your collar all fucked up. Like then you have to like that's the rest of your day. Like you just have like someone someone always went for the collar. So it's like, oh, man, now I got like a deep V, but it's over here. It's all fucked up. Like it's just it's no good. Guys. I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night. And next time we're going to start our journey and it's going to be awful.

And I can't wait. I'm so excited. Me too. Oh, my God. So you guys got like a second to steamroll at the end. Trust me, we're going to ratchet it up. We're going to we're going to bring you in. And I can't wait to interact with each and every one of you. I'm kind of glad it started like that, because to be honest, I was trying to think of like how would Bella team up with him? Like, I don't understand. You know what I mean? Yeah. How would we even get to that agreement in the first place? This actually made so much sense. And I got so OK, pulling back on the the curtain stuff here, like Jamison was messaging me the day we were supposed to go live the first time.

And it was like, I don't see this happening like we were supposed to play that night. And it was like, well, I got a plan, but I can't tell you because like I felt like that would mess up stuff. But it's like, yeah, no, I'm not going into this thinking you guys are going to be like high five. And you might be resistant to the idea of working with him, just so you know, like, I don't want to stall the first episode, but be like, no, I don't want to know. No, this wasn't like a do it like it's I didn't think it was going to be like stepbrothers or something.

It's like we just become best friends. Oh, my God. Now I want to see Log and Darmon do karate in the garage. But the campaign's not over yet. It's true. I haven't talked about their favorite dinosaurs at all. But everybody out there, we're going to take a quick break. And when we come back, we have some questions from you guys for for the cast here of Forsaken. So thank you, guys. We'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. We had you guys ask some questions of Forsaken. And I think because you guys it's kind of like it's a double edged sword because you guys have the most ties to unresolved story stuff from back in the day.

So new people don't like it's going to maybe might take them a little bit to get invested, but everybody else is like, oh, shit. Awesome. Like so again, we want to kind of save this for for last. But we did have some people ask some questions anonymously. You can actually it's totally fine if you leave your name, but send them to me on Discord. Send them to DANDourpodcast@gmail.com. That's DANDourpodcast@gmail.com. Get them to me, however, and then I'll put them in a folder and we'll slowly ask these over time. But someone had a great these are almost like weird interview icebreaker questions.

But let's say money was no object. And you had like a Sims house, let's say, like just up like a square like it's there's no walls, no nothing. What is one item? Just one. That you would purchase for money is no object. You have to have this that cat, for instance. Would you have some sort of cat bug zapper where just every time it gets near you? Are we talking ourselves or in character or what? Yeah, no, for you. No, no, no, no, no. For you. This is cast stuff like just just something like I have one. Please. I'm currently using a yoga ball as a computer chair so I would get a computer.

Are you fucking hold on? Sending you a chair. They're not even that expensive. Yes. Send me a chair, though. They're not. Well, what kind of chairs do you usually get? I mean, I usually get them from either Goodwill or Facebook marketplace. Holy shit. OK. I've got some broken computer chairs that don't have backs. If you can drive it up to you. I mean, I don't mind the bouncy ball. It's great for your core strength. I mean, it's great for your core, I guess. Yeah, but like you should have the option to sit in a chair. That's why I just got up from our break and I was like, oh, my gosh.

OK, you big dreamer. That's great. Chair is a good thing. Maybe shoot a little higher. What's everybody else going to say? Does everybody else have fancy stuff? I think they're going to shoot beyond chair, Jimmy. Let's see. Wow. I do play a lot of. Do better than that. I actually saw this the other day where someone is doing like a house tour. And what they had was it was the laundry room was directly across the hallway from their closets. So they could just go directly from the laundry room to the closet and put their clothes away. And like, oh, that's so awesome.

Jamison's going to kill that cat. That's my dream. Just an accessible laundry room. That's a great one. That's so awesome. Zach, what about you? One item. Well, so like, you know, use the example of The Sims and like every time I play The Sims, I'm like, I'm not really like a decor kind of guy. I'm not like a builder. I'm more of like an activity. Like I got to run. Got to do the skills and stuff. So when I think about house building, I want something impractical if I had like an insane amount of money. Like I probably like a little little indoor pool. That's pretty dope.

Something. Yeah, dude, that's what I'm saying. Like money's no object. You're rich. Yeah, I was thinking small man. I'd put a house in my house. That's what I was trying to say. You got Bezos money and you're like, I want a chair. You know what it is? Is that that type of money is so unfathomable to me that I'm like, oh, if I have a lot of money, I would buy myself a chair. Like, yes, I mean, I can't guarantee any of these dreams will come true, but think it's a secret. You got to put it out there. Right. Just manifest. Like I can make a chair happen tomorrow for you.

Like I, I don't want to throw it out there like I'm some wish granter, but chairs. That's within my realm. Like I could do that. Mr. Warbucks. You got your chair money. Whoa. If we're filling our forums with Jason, then yeah. Well, keep it. OK, here's the thing. Keep it on the level of chair and I got you. No indoor trampolines or anything. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to put you. I could use a I could use a good you know, space is really empty. Chair like you. You look like a wheel. You want a wheelie chair? I got a wheelie chair. Office chair. I got you. Jesus.

Karen, I know that you're. I'm just saying I already went. How important? No, no, no, no. This is a follow up question. How important is kitchen stuff to you? Because it's super important. And what we have. You saw our kitchen. It's a shoe box that food goes to be sad. So I want to be dead every time I go there and cook. My dream is to have a kitchen with an island in the middle. But like it's like I I would kill for a nice kitchen like just. Oh, my God. That's a good one. Like 90 percent of my dreams are like kitchen ideas. And then the other 10 percent is like a laundry room that's on the same level as the rest of my house.

Because right now it's in the basement. Like a basement? OK. I don't go down there anymore after I fell down the stairs. What you do is you cut a hole in your floor so you can just throw your laundry down. Yeah. Laundry should be nice, too. Oh, man. Or like a Ghostbusters pole or something like. Yeah, make it fun. But I think laundry day is like a blast. Like, oh, like a pantry. Oh, I want one of those shelves for like my KitchenAid that like comes up and is like counter level. But then it like comes back down and goes in the cabinet. You know, yeah. Yeah, I don't know, man.

I just I miss having a kitchen that's decent. And like this, this one makes me sad. But it's not Lisa. It's it's like, look, we got a third bedroom. That's great. Is it worth an extra seven hundred dollars in rent a month? No, but it's just we were working with a pandemic. So, Lisa, what about you? I'm kind of torn. I think honestly, I think I would like to have like just a room with like floor to ceiling, like cubby or bookshelves, because I don't I don't know if you can see my lovely stacks on stacks of yarn and books that I have. I'm kind of a hoarder situation.

I've got a bag of yarn over here on the floor and then yarn on the table that I've been working with this session. So I think that my other option was just going to be a big fuck you bathtub that's heated with jacuzzis. But I think and I can't remember the last time I took a bath like I can't like I know we don't I don't have a bathtub either. And I'm like, I would love one, but showers are good too. If it makes you feel any better when I look at your room, I don't think hoarder. I think unorganized wizard. Like, oh, where's that text? Like, you know, like, you know, it's like I've got a problem.

Also, let's say that pile of books falls over. There's like an 80 percent chance it's just going to fall into yarn. So it's not going to make a bunch of noise because you know, I was just like, you know, my projects. There's a lot of fun. You're the entire cubby out in the other room to this full of yarn. You guys can't see. Look, man, my house is full of unpainted minis. I can't throw stones. You're fine. Like yarns way cheaper. No, I'm not. No, when we're when we're done with this, I will show you guys I made my first up non hat or scarf wearable today. That's what I was sending Karen a picture of.

So I'll show you guys when we're done. Was that the secret? Yeah. Well, it ties into the secret. So. Oh, I have a guess. Well, that paints a picture. I'm going to guess before you show us. That's why I'm saying can we wait for behind the scenes? Yeah, we'll go. OK, this is OK. This is the doubts officially. Like we've built this up. This announcement now. Yes. Yeah. Well, congratulations. I made this today and I'm working on a second one right now. That's good. You're probably going to need two of those. Handy work. I haven't made it. I feel like I said a formal. I'm just so excited.

So that's like that's fucking awesome. I want to tell everybody. Well, you just did, because absolutely everybody I hope is subscribed to our Patreon. So that's good. Eight people are going to be so happy for you. Of course, I've been making this the entire system, like a tiny sock. I literally didn't notice. I don't like it's watching you knit is background noise. Like it's just it's always happening. I mean, it's just it's just it's like, yeah, I look weird if you do your action figure would like have a fucking needle and like yarn. And that's it. Like, I can't picture you not.

Thank you. Well, I literally put it as one of Vella's skills is knitting. That was back when we first did it. Remember, I was like, hey, it's knitting a thing in Tharia. And you're like, sure. Yeah. I mean, I imagine that's really like it's like, yeah, making your own clothes. Fuck. Vella needs a scarf or deeded. Not so much now. But like she's probably got two or three of the ones in her bag right now. What would Jameson's big purchase be? Sorry. You ready for the dad answer? Because mine is very like based talk about picking something based on what you're missing.

I would have a hidden room. Nobody knows about hidden behind a bookshelf or under a trap door or something where I can go and nobody else is allowed. What's in there, though? My office, probably privacy. Nothing is in there. It's just one chair. No, it's called the if dad's in there, don't go in their room. And that's it. You can know where it is. Can I change my answer? Can I change mine? The amount of times my door gets knocked on and it starts with like, sorry, there's a problem. It's like there'd be no fucking cats in there. No. Oh, man. Take a shot every time a cat interacts with Jameson in this this campaign.

So just every two ways. Every second right now, there's two ways. That's too too many. One of them was left open the entire time. So that's how I kept throwing the cat out the other one. And then the next one was intro kept coming in the other entrance. So anyway, I was wondering how it was getting is like an event situation for Malia. Like it's just finding its way in. I only checked one. That's my life story. That's the name of my epitaph. Two doors and he only checked one. That's what I got. Guys, there's one more question and you are allowed to not answer this one if you like.

But it's an interesting one. So I need to I need to preface this because it's going to upset a couple of people. So someone wanted to know if you were running for president. What's what's the platform you're running or what's something you would change? Like what's basically like your your catchy slogan? I'm going to do this now. Hold on. Let's pretend. Team red, team blue don't exist. It's not you're not running under a specific party banner. You're not this is pure fiction, just something you see as a problem. You want to fix it. That's it. It's it's you know, it's it's complete hero fiction.

Like you're just you just want to I wish I had the power to fix this. And let's work. I know. But like what's one that you're just like, you know, let's let's say that we also had a system where if you you were in office and you tried to do the thing, there isn't half of the party working against you constantly. Like, let's say it was something that everyone agreed. It's like, yeah, that's a problem. And we just did something about it. So that's easy. I got my platform. You know, you get on the podium, you like hear you hear everyone, please come to my plate.

Vote for me if you want grown men on Twitter to stop typing like sassy women. Please, please stop it. It's the it's the for me. Yeah. For me, dude, what are you doing? How dare you? Like that, that shit that's using 40. What are you using? 40 emojis as a grown man. You don't need attention that bad, brother. You don't. It's true. I'm sorry. That's good. You know what? You got my vote. That's good. I think I think I feel like some people would sympathize. Some of them wouldn't. That's that's part of the game. People are going to like you. People are going to love it.

You know, that's my platform. No, I'm sticking with it. Fuck, that's that's that's all social media and I'm on board. We got to start somewhere. We got to we got to start like. Yeah. You got to get a pencil in. You got to focus in and then expand on everything. You know, you can't just it's it's too extreme. If you're like all everywhere, everything, you know, I thought about this. That's a good answer. Shit. OK. Karen porn because there's like two. One, which I'm dealing with currently is to just like better understand the health care system. Like why did I get two different bills for the same appointment from two different hospitals?

I don't know. But nobody can tell me the answer for that. Simplify it. Make it easier. It's easy. Well, one is a pimp of the other. They are affiliated with each other. So this is why I'm very confused. Think communication between them would be better than. Yeah, that's closer than truth. And the other one is just like let teachers do their job. Like let's let's let teachers do their job. Stop telling them what to do. Where am I? Where am I? My sick patients. The other. I. I. You know what? I'm I'm down with both of those because like teachers have it hard. Like that's a shitty job.

Like you're you're mostly teaching to a bunch of kids who don't want to learn and they don't want to be there. And they don't you know, I mean, like our school system is pretty like. Not great. So like when I was in school, like, you know, there was only like one school shooting when I was in school and that was like a tragedy. Like one very noteworthy one. Yeah. We had a Columbine and everyone went, holy shit. And that was it for a while. And then it just happened all the time. And then we went. And then that was like so. Yeah, no, like that's that just school in general has got to just suck, man.

Like at the tail end of my there were security cameras and you just don't feel good going to school. And then your budgets cut constantly. You don't get any resources. It's teacher. That sucks. I think teachers more would be a good thing to add to that platform to just pay them enough to live on bare minimum. You know, like you buy the real crayons. Yeah. Like, I don't know. A little backup. Yeah. OK. I'm I'm I'm more bored with that one. And yeah. Hot take. Our medical system is great. Yeah. Isn't just like we don't have to over all it. Just yes. Definitely. Simplify it.

Just explain it. That's all. Yeah. You didn't ask for anything radical. It's like maybe one bill. Like just the first thing I thought of was like, you know, Jamison, 20, 24. Let's start over. Just. Yeah. But yeah, that's obviously not a good answer. I mean, yes. No. Your commercial stimulus. Go to the back. It's 20, 24. But if I if I pick one hill to die on, though, make people retest for their driver's license. Retest for your goddamn driver's license. The older you get, the more often you have to retest. It's a hundred dollars per shot. You can test as many times as you want.

I'd balance the fucking budget in a year. Damn, that's good. Yeah. Retest for your driver's license and put in some more public transportation while you're at it. I'll be able to do that with the money. Yeah. I mean, you funded this program already. Holy shit. That is efficiency right there. You said you got to retest it once a month. Oh, my God. Get on the bus. Anyway. Jamie, you. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I'll be honest. I would say that normally I would be really afraid to answer this question because of like all the hate that you would receive. But also, I've decided that for 20, 22, I'm not giving a fuck what anybody else thinks.

So that is my motto. Do you know how much I've been posting on Facebook, just asking people? It's like, hey, people who are on my friends list who burn their items to show that company. Why? I'm asking questions at this point. It's like, help me understand you, please. Like, I think for me, my slogan would be, hey, America, let's stop pretending that we're so great. Oh, let's check out what they're doing, because we kind of suck y'all in every and all aspects. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but that whole education thing, if you look at where we are in the charts, we didn't even make the tournament, guys.

Like, we're fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's bad. Like, and if you think it's like, well, OK, all these people. You know what? Fuck it. I'm with you, Jamie. I'm going to maybe we wouldn't have so many people who didn't believe in science or doctors or fucking facts and logic and then the things that they can see in front of their face. If we taught them better when they were younger, if we maybe maybe we could catch up with some of the other countries that maybe believe in things like that. Yep. Just just just a thought. Just. Yeah, I have a lot of feelings, but I'm I'm restraining myself.

It's been a frustrating few years, I think. And I'd say, OK, I'm going to. OK, would you like me to lighten the mood a little bit so that, like, I'm going to I'm going to. I'm going to. Yeah, just. OK, here's mine. Free pizza for everyone. No, no. A lot of people don't deserve that. If we get back and get us top eight in education, everyone gets a slice. But like, not until then. We're like the 40s. Yeah. That's that's that is maybe that's all we needed. Everyone can agree on that. I want Thai food. Just get the fuck out of here. Like, just just anyway. If I see you out walking your dog and your dog is not on a leash, I get to hit you as hard as I can.

That's a good one. What if they don't pick up the poop, though? Then what do you know? That's not even then. OK, then. OK, car. Secret police. They are taken away and we call it reeducation. And what we do is we replace one of their hands with a pooper scooper so they are fucking forced to. And we're going to start with a non-dominant hand. We're not monsters in America, but like they will be picking up. They will be forced to. So that's why the person. They are real. You see, you walk away without picking up poop. Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry. Two dudes like fucking show up.

Just like totally real, though, guys. It's been confirmed. I'm just imagining like a new platform hand thing. But with two pooper scooper. It's like we're shitty hands. God damn it. Lisa. I don't know if I know what my slogan would be, but I think my platform would just be like comprehensive reproductive care. And it would just be the umbrella that and it like in big bold letters includes pro choice. That's it. This is all reasonable and stuff. I can't make a joke out of that. It shouldn't be an extreme take, but it is somehow. I mean, it shouldn't be. If you want to get your tubes tight at 20, do it.

If you want to distract me at 30, do it. Oh, my God. OK. Your choice. Look, we're going to get where if you're in the chat right now and you if you're still sticking around and you're mad. Thanks for sticking around. Firstly, I really appreciate that. I would be happy to talk to you about that. I'm not I'm not unreasonable. I do want to talk to people and understand where they're coming from. But my wife currently really wants just it's like, let's just ditch this uterus thing. Let's get it. She's in constant pain. She's been to the doctor many, many, many, many, many, many times.

And they will do everything for her but help. And after a while, it's like she needs me to say it's OK. And how fucked is that? Like, it's kind of it's like, well, we have to exhaust all our options. Then is your husband here? And it's like I I'm not joking. And that's in California. Try Kentucky. Like, I don't fucking know what's going on over there. But like, this is the most liberal place to ever live. And like, we still can't just like it's like, again, constant pain. And just I wish I wish things were a little different. And it just there's. Yeah, no, I it's so whoever asked this question.

Raise your hand in the raise your hand. Who's responsible? But like, I hope we answered this in the way you were thinking. I think we did it in a way that was pissed the least amount of people. I don't know. But with that, who cares? Fuck it all. The world's going to shit. Who gives a fuck? Jamie, we want him to listen. Just hit the button. We're not we're not exactly in the Armageddon. Yes. No dogs smaller than 30 pounds. That's my platform. What happens to what happens to a pippin under your plan? I need to know for a friend. Eat a cheeseburger into the sea. We'll have a race of aquatic tiny dogs.

Just put them in there by the dozen. There's an oh, that's that's little squeaker island. We just throw them all out there in the distance. Just tiny little bug island. I wouldn't live there. Oh, God. By the way, we've talked about it before, but you roasting to pippin on Twitter is just my favorite thing. Just like if you could start an account and just do that every day against that dog, but I will destroy that dog. In sounds, I'll pop a little picture pippin in the stream for those of you don't know. Just a little slide show. Yeah. Make sure you have a screen to catch both eyes.

OK, so you have seen. Yeah, you've seen pippin. He's he isn't that grotesque. Like he's he's like he's he's he's in an ugly dog way. He's I don't believe in that. That's my whole thing. I don't think it's against his religion. When I was buying him the dog, we had to have like we'd had to like go at least two rounds, trying to play with me like this. Like you're just playing with me at this. What is this? What is this? Right. This is an alien. He drove like hours to go pick up that dog. And this is why I drove hours to pick up the dog. Should add some rounds with the guy like he's just messing around.

He's just jamming people. I will say pippin is an adorable little guy. I and I play with him. He's probably cuter. He's cuter in person. Brianna's probably going to fucking crazy in the chat right now. Yeah. I'm going to actually and you know what? I actually like it. She like him. He is in the right light. He's very photogenic. It's no, he's probably he's probably a smart dog. Please know that that door right now in current time has been swung open and I'm being yelled at. Just know that. Just know that in current time. So everybody in the chat, that's that's your revenge for for the political thing.

So there you go. Guys, with with that, I think it's a good time for us to stop for the night. Thank you all for for showing up. Hopefully someone who's in the chat every time I say that, it's like, what if nobody's in the chat? Oh, my God. So thank you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, everybody. Kind of ignore what Jamie said. Yeah. Like just like. Yeah. Fuck it. But like. Subscribe to our Patreon. So if you reach ten thousand dollars, I won't say the word political ever again. Or if you want me to, I'll do it twice as much. Whoever whoever donates that much. Fifteen thousand dollars.

I'll fly to California and kiss that dog on the mouth. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I hope that some Saudi prince is listening tonight and just like Jameson. He's a wicker. God damn it. So he's close to his mouth. It flies in the face of everything you know about dogs because he's got this he's got this old man lip right up here and he's got like a little mustache and he's just kind of like, like he's mad at the world that he's a pippen. So like he's. I would be too. But like I see every day it's like face. And I love them. I love them. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But like when you get close to like when you put your ear close to his nostrils, it just sound like a small little water.

OK. So, yeah. Like let me let me see if I can. I'm going to stay alive. Oh, my God. Like that kind of all the time. Just struggling to breathe like why am I alive every breath? Best part is small to the. We'll be watching a movie and he's he's over here on my pant like. He's not playing, he's rubbing his moist eyes all over my denim jeans and just like, yeah, that's good. Like whatever you guys feel like you had a good eye rub. It's 10 times better for him. It's just amazing. So with that, I make it twenty thousand. I'm going to hand things over to Jamie to send us home.

So it's not ready. You know what? If you close that, it's like, hey, fuck it. We're all going to die. I might as well give your money to something. So like just tell me. That's exactly what I'm going to say. Listeners, again, if you want to check out T-Public, we've got these awesome freaking designs in there. We're having those come out pretty regularly. So check it out. And thank you so much for listening.