Luck and Leadership
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[clanking] [clanking] Pickaxe. Coming to Apple TV Plus on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah. You're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. I'm a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV Plus.
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You can find a link to the Patreon in the description of this episode. And check out some of the artistry that inspired us to work with this person time and time again. Now, without further ado, let's get to it. Hi, and welcome to the Dungeons & Randomness podcast/stream. The best place to witness Dungeons and Randomness. Before we get started, if you'd like to support us, please check out our Patreon at patreon.com/dandr. Or, if that's a bit forward for you, you can always check out our website at dandrpodcast.com. While you're there, you can locate all of our socials, including our Twitter @dandrpodcast, our Facebook Dungeons & Randomness, and our Instagram Dungeons & Randomness podcast.
Hmm, I think also you can look a little bit further onto that website and you can find our wiki where you can see more about the past, the land, the future. You can see, well, maybe not the future. You're going to have to watch for that. Or, our t-shirt store, where who knows what new surprises will come up each and every week, or not quite that frequently. And in the meantime, before we start, let's talk about what happened last episode. Last time, we all got together. That's about it so far. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves.
I'm Jason. I'm the Game Master going around the table, starting with Xavier. Hello, I'm Xavier and I play Zozo, the Black Dragonborn, whose powers are yet to be revealed. And Mandy? Hi guys, this is Mandy and I play Clover, the Red Dragonborn, not a shaman. And Ryan H? Oh, hi. Sorry, my name is Ryan. I will today be playing Olmo, the Red Dragonborn beefy boy. And Ryan G. That makes you sound like Dr. Seuss characters. I haven't found a good way to do this. It really does. I mean, who knows, whatever. Thing two. Yeah, just point and we'll guess, right? Because we still can't tell which way you're pointing at.
Right! That's the thing. I'm just going to go. It's like, just remember Ryan and then just made this confusing. Yeah, you know, it seemed like a really good idea back in like November. I'm like, here's the thing. I'm a union guy. I'm always going to go to seniority and he's been around podcasts longer than I have. So I'm going to get paid more than him, though. So like it's kind of in the air. You get paid? It's the certifications. Yeah, I can only get a free shirt every five years. Well, OK. The union guys. Thank you. Thank you to everybody out there supporting us.
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Give us a little. So hey, I'm Ryan. I play crib. The Dragon Boy shaman. Lesser Ryan didn't tag in shit. We just went on the tangent. That's just our story for yourself. You lose your Jesus. That's just wondering how long it was going to go. And then I was like, OK, I got to I got to pull it at some point, right? That would be so amazing if I was getting ready to wrap up and I'm Ryan like it's like two hours in. No, I can't I can't think that far ahead. But but the listeners and the people, particularly the people watching this will see me staring at the camera, looking at you guys, looking at the camera, looking at you guys so that they'll know they look, man.
I. They love me still. Maybe I was done the intros as soon as it's like, yeah, yeah. Anyway, moving on like that. That's dead to me. That that was like a vestigial tale gone. That's how my brain operates. It's part of the danger. You already said Ryan. And you had the Ryan part is complete. That's yeah. So last time, as was recapped so beautifully, you guys did meet up and you had just met Clover. You're hanging out in the little town of White Hedge and you are in a bar. Now, the problem is so far you found out that Clover is not to generalize a bit of a klutz and definite.
Definitely has a reputation for breaking things to you met a pack of dwarves and their leader, at least. And that's like a real real asshat, though, like just kind of, you know, and then there were several small like explosions outside. Right. That's the second time Xavier's been reminded. I've been thinking about those explosions all week. What could they be? I don't know. I think we should pick up there, though. What do you guys want to do about these small explosions? I guess. So how how how did they pick up? We were sitting at that table and they seem to come from outside the place.
Yeah, definitely. So this was like. Let me see if I can kind of encapsulate this noise. So it's it doesn't sound like it doesn't sound like bombs going off or anything like that. It's definitely not that big. That's why I emphasize the small. So think of it like. String of firecrackers, bigger than that, but you're on the right track, definitely. Like I'm trying to think of something in between the big string of big. Yes, that is it. Yeah. Someone just like it on Halloween night. Yeah. Someone just tied dynamite together stick by stick and then just lit them.
So like it's yeah. Those are that's big. That's that's what mischief night is, right? We just blow up someone's house like that's what. Oh, that's that is quickly. Those mischievous kids. You promised you wouldn't help me about that. Do you guys have mischief night where you are like you like? Is that a thing? Mischief night. You've never heard of that. So like, OK, October 30th. I mean, I watched The Crow. So October 30th is is mischief night where people like TP like toilet. They throw toilet paper around your trees or bushes or something. And then in my neighborhood, that was the excuse to loot and destroy.
So like, ah, this night we smashed your car windshield in with this baseball bat that legit happened. So it's like, oh, yeah, mischief night. And the cops couldn't keep up with everything. And people knew that. So there just kind of was no penalty. Yeah, no. But I moved. So it's great. That has not happened here. That's not the guys out there in the chat listening. Send us an email. Is it mischief night? A thing where you are. I've lived in a lot of different places and I have never heard of that. Never, never heard of mischief night. OK, well, I'm people fired up some some fireworks on Halloween night when I was in Vancouver.
But that's it. We don't even do that here. We just wait for the candy. Yeah, I feel like this is one of those like that's not totally normal guys. And it's like, oh, no, I just live in a really bad 100 percent. One of those days. One hundred percent. It's you heard about like and they put that in 1990 era movie The Crow there. They had Devil's Night where they just set the city on fire right around then. But too far. Which really seems like just I would say that breaking people's car windows is too far, but that's super too far. You guys don't have the purge that they.
We're working our way up to that in America, Xavier. Don't worry. Yeah, that happens right after Valentine's Day. Right. That's. Yeah. No shit. I think the newest purge movie was it's like people are like, well, we got to get to Canada. Like it's like that's that. So get ready. You're going to get some visitors from the cast eventually. You and James don't have it up there. It'll just be driving big, big truck. They're already there. We've had some visit. So anyways, Cravell put down his drink and go, what the hell? And stand up and walk outside. Like a fast walk.
Yeah. Let's go check it out. Oh, we'll go. Oh, right. Do you want to get on my back for this one? Sure. All right. Here, hop around. All right, let's go. Climb onto his back like a backpack, but that doesn't eat him. The air for a second. I thought Clover was still on Omo. Just just sitting on his back while we're at a table with a perfectly good chair that's just not being used right now. Was on his lap and is like, let's go and then clambers on. Yeah. Yeah. Can we go back to the it's like a backpack that doesn't eat him. What kind of backpacks are like, yeah, like, we can't hear right.
Wasn't Oh, that's OK. You're referencing something that was in behind the scenes, something that our Patreon listeners get to listen to and view every week. So that's good. That's good. Shilling, Mandy. Clover is a much kinder backpack that won't open up and if I shan't be consumed. That's not the first line in your character description. I'll be upset. Clover is a much kinder backpack. So heading outside, you're going to see a couple of kids running around, right? And these are these are dwarven children. And looking around, you're going to kind of like you're going to kind of notice something.
There is an influx of dwarves in the area. Like it's kind of it's like, wait. That's interesting. And they are setting off small explosives. But what they're doing is they're kind of they're kind of packing in these tubes with with this powder. And it's basically like a tiny firework, like a boom. There's a lot more boom than there is sparklies. But I don't think they care. So there's little divots in the ground. Like they're making new potholes in the dirt, like dirt roads. And eventually someone's going to be like, OK, stop that. Like it's like there's going to be like a guard or something.
It's like knock it off. Like, stop it. But does any does anyone happen to know the date? Is the question I was going to ask, but I think that's unfair considering I know you don't. Also in the Patreon. Yeah, that's it's got guys. It is the 28th. Of the month of Amada, which means it's Barrick Runed are. Oh, look at you with your oh, that's good stuff. There were small explosives. There were small explosives. It is a dwarven holiday, guys. It's the day that the dwarves celebrate taking over Stone Thunder Mountain and ejecting those those furry ne'er-do-wells, the Minotaur, from their homeland.
They celebrate it. So imagine a culture that celebrates stealing the native land of somebody every year. Like they're just like, yay, we did it. Imagine. Imagine that. Imagine it. And they they like they're really proud. Like they're it's like, yeah, fuck them. But like, there's still Minotaur out there. They're just like. Kind of displaced, like they have a home, but it's not a good one. It's not really for them, you know. Cribble let out a sigh. And just slowly turn it around and walk back inside. He's not going to say anything about it. But he'll he'll he'll turn and walk back inside.
Like almost like presenting myself like these damn kids, but not saying it. Hey, hey, hey cousin, you want me to see if I can get one of them to let you blow up one of those things? And Clover has been looking at the to her. It looks fun. So she's like, were you cousin? Heck yeah. OK. OK. Excuse me. Oh, no, they blew up that one. Hold on. Next guy. But no, that one blew up. Hey, can my cousin blow up one of those, please? I would say. This you're approaching a child, let's say, and this kid is like. Let's say like the equivalent of a 13 year old for dwarves. Right.
So kind of a little snotty, like a little like little edgelord kid. Beard hasn't come in yet, so it's just double big bushy eyebrows, though. So this kid is going to essentially be like, I guess, but. You have to hit it on this fence post. I can do that. I have to what on the fence? You have to throw something like a like a hand ax or something and hit it. To set it off. Oh, we can try. That sounds awesome. Yes. All right, cool. Oh, yeah, we want to try that. So none of you have seen one of these go off yet, but like you're you know, it's it's a fairly large explosion.
So there is he's going to essentially it's this it's a tube about yay big. So like like a like a good like four inch like radius, something like that, kind of like planting it on top of this wooden this wooden fence. So like one of the just like one of the one of the spokes there and kind of packing this explosive together. and what it is is this tiny like a mixture of liquid with like a powder on top of it that when they mix together there's a big chemical reaction right who's who's attempting this and can every you know okay two things one who is attempting this me me me me me me me me me me those kind of like still just outside the place arms crossed watching with curiosity but expecting to be unimpressed Cribs inside making sure the table's exactly great I'm drinking great things will happen on today's dwarven festival hold on one second and I'm gonna bring up a thing here's what oh boy I need a couple of things like a new version of a skill check challenge it's it depends on how this goes but maybe yes do well Mandy don't fuck up I give her bardic inspiration listeners it's not a thing I was maybe next level Jesus God what's the what's the Google thing called where you have files goddamnit Google drive drive you jeez I had no idea what you were talking I blanks welcome to old Jason you're in good company oh my god so you could tell the medication I used to concentrate is wearing off before the session ends it's a real flowers for algernon thing this was it sad enough because I was going for sad I mean it's hilarious but also so you're kind of hitting on multiple levels good all right so here's okay so what are you using are you are you kind of stepping up here with like a little hand axe a bow and arrow like what are you using do they have a thing for me to use or should I use there's a hatchet like this yes not a little kids got like a like a hatchet cuz yeah she thinks oh this is part of the rules of the game they got a little thing here I'm gonna throw this even though I have no idea how to use it so okay oh my god so here's what we're gonna do I want your finesse die your class and your shoot skill all right now you're gonna have to get off my back before I know but you get a lot more leverage from your own feet when you're throwing things so before you do this here's what we're gonna do oh boy let's share screens let's get this let's get this going so I definitely want yeah there you go okay I'm gonna roll 2d8s cuz that's your difficulty and that'll be the number you gotta be boy that is a 9 so you just got to beat a 9 so Culver is like all right I got this and just like cousin cousin watch me watch back okay all right and she's gonna wind up and think of you know when we went to dragon kind and all of us were trying to throw them axes so she's like really like concentrating just like okay I gotta go straight gotta go whoa and then she then does this little flail thing and then tries to throw it because she's like it'll add add to my skill if I like flail and dance with it ah I get where'd it go I just missed it you did just miss it so this kid's gonna laugh just a real dick like like a bit like okay like a forced taunting laugh like he's not even like you know it's just like you suck lady I can do it I can do it and she's gonna run and go grab the hatchet forgetting that oh there are there other people throwing oh no it's just you step up oh okay so she's gonna go away well I'm gonna go get it and she's gonna run go get so and then um can I get are any of your characters particularly savvy do you have a do you have a d10 in savviness the eight six okay this would probably be savvy once in this would probably be a yeah this would probably be a crib roll but Cribs not here so go ahead let's do it so so hmm I think the axe look at clover you're pathetic we need we need good people on this trip let me show you how this is done the kids gonna agree with so it's like yeah shut up and he's gonna throw the axe let's do it baby oh please please with it shoot finesse finesse class and shoot yeah okay and you got to beat a nine because it's not like the things moving so it's the same difficulty so finesse class and shoot so it's right on top of this fence post yeah so he'll kind of like just raise it above his head kind of like calculate the arc and look around how many people is watching and then he'll just toss it no no flourishes so do you want to take do you want to take the seven and three and leave the d10 is your effect die yeah yeah cuz it's yeah so so basically you're gonna hit it no matter what but this is how how awesome it is right like you didn't just wing this thing it is dead on and for just a second you're gonna see this this oily liquid come out of the side of this this like tube and it is going to after a second mix with that powder and boom big big big like it's a it's a bright explosion almost like a flashbang and there's these bright red and yellow sparks that are gonna that are gonna fly outward so a couple of fun facts right it is a dry dry time of year this is when we do the gender reveal it's a boy boom so that's it's kind of a concern right but the odds are against anything really bad happening more pressing is the fact that this fence fence post is just going to split down the center and just kind of fall apart and I'd say about 30 or 40 feet back you're gonna see a bunch of a bunch of horses oh and I need to roll to see if they get spooked because there have been explosions leading up to this and this one's a bit closer so um crib inside the bar I think it's do me a favor yeah give me a d10 right and if it's a one through three they get spooked anything else and it's fine all they need is for Ryan to not roll though it's fine it's fine so they are gonna get a little spooked and kind of Winnie and and rear up and stuff and you there there's a couple of like there's a couple of farmhands that are gonna have to like settle them down and as they're there they're like trying to sue the horses it's okay it's okay you fucking kid like a jet like it like they're they're screaming at this kid but like trying to come not you girl not you shush like it's you know trying to offer it a sugar cube this kid is again gonna kind of like a and kind of back up and run off just like a real just a little shit oh I thought so though is gonna have a fanboy that would be really stroke the ego that'd be too early probably would if if he didn't tell him to shut up he had a fan leading into it like this I like to cut of this guy's chip like he's you know what I mean like he was he was on board he'll be back over is is like squealing she's like heck yeah just because you know big boom her new friend just did something awesome and so gee she's gonna go up and just be like good job so the soul and just smack him on the back you know friendly manner but like you know being yeah he kind of like reacts to it a bit and turns around kind of like there's a corner smile like you think that explosion was impressive I mean can you do more explosions kind of looks around see if crib is around maybe I'll show you later heck yeah and just holds up a hand for a high-five looks away I'm it gives you a high-five ah softy best way any kind of like kind of just like leaves the destruction scene goes back to the tavern oh I haven't I have a friend I'm so happy for you and then just just lifts her arms up to be like pick me up again okay there you go let's go so we're gonna go back into this bar and crib sitting there probably has another drink or whatever crib is doing is crib much of a drinker or is this oh yeah it's this party from his adventuring days he's probably he's probably on his fifth drink by now I'm just like oh fuck like he finished all of their drinks and then drunk another just he's not happy with the fact that he's got to deal with all these special folk special folk whoo you know what can I you kids um so you said five drinks okay well we haven't done this in this arc or this system yet but I think I I think we need to see what your tolerance is so refresh my memory what was everyone drinking it wasn't necessarily like super heavy stuff right it was more like that it was yeah it was the cheap quick stuff just you know you got barrels and barrels of it in the back just gave me give me a couple drinks real quick and okay okay so like this is this is like yeah yeah yeah so like 2d sixes like nothing nothing nothing terrible so up up 2d six and that turns out to be six so I want you to take your fortitude your class and your indoor role okay okay so you're definitely gonna pass that so that you're not you're definitely not drunk but you're probably just a tiny bit buzzed like just that just you know I mean like you're not enough I need to roll to see if this dwarf notices this oh I need to see I need to see so I'm gonna take a d10 one through one through five he's gonna notice six through ten you're just gonna be able to sit there and enjoy your drink please let it be in peace oh no so okay this this guy's gonna wander over to your table eventually you're gonna see him hop off the stool and his big like big clunky boots are just gonna boom like hit the ground and he's gonna he's gonna wander it with the table and he's got a he's got like a like a like a big shot glass I guess is how I would describe it think like an espresso size for like you know what I mean like mm-hmm okay so he's gonna he's gonna wander over and then just kind of like slap the table you think you're impressing anybody with this drinking oh far from it well I drink it for any of you you should be it's a dwarven holiday okay so okay let me tell you a story and he's gonna he's gonna pull a chair out and sit next to you I don't think he would even notice if you liked that or not you know I mean it's not like he's not doing it for you yeah he's doing it for the story like it's all for us yeah so there we were homeless and just down on our luck and we see this mountain now you wouldn't understand this but I mean a really beautiful mountain like it's it's gorgeous you guys are perched up on top of it like birds we're in the we're in the dirt you know we're making something out of it you guys are just kind of like skipping across the mountains like stones on a lake and you know it whatever we are we had to fight tooth and nail and they didn't I mean yeah it was during a wedding or whatever they didn't know it was coming but man they did put up a fight but it wasn't enough every year we have to drink as many shots as years have passed since that day and I'm not even a quarter of the way there yet so what number are you on what how how many shots have you taken 17 and what how many do you need more than 17 the point is I want you to drink with me hell I'll even pay you're really twisting my arm Jason let's leave it up to a die roll yeah do it I don't know if we have money - all right well I guess he's doing it so he's gonna kind of like squint at him like lean over the table to where he's like his snout is probably just inches away from his nose and then let out like a big puff of air through his nostrils lean back towards back straight bring his hand over to give a big handshake and then like and then with the other hand grab his shot and take it he is definitely like it's a big like ah like that he's so so this is a competition oh okay well I haven't had I haven't had a drinking contest in years no one no one wants to sit at the table with me and I'm giving you a head start so he's going to walk over to the bar and kind of hop up on one of these stools and then ring a bell and everyone in the bar is gonna start reacting they're like oh oh so this is like one of those restaurants where you go in and you ordered like the Widowmaker steak and it's like well we're gonna feed you your weight and steak and if you finish it you know so question though is he carrying this Bell on him or is it just something that the place has this is it yeah this is like a this is like one of those like man versus food things where you go it's like we have the spiciest wings and Sarasota and then you know I mean like yeah I thought he's just held onto this little Bell like just for this moment he just carries it on is it yep this it's like it's it's it's a signature asset for him like he just has it all the time the Bell of infinite drinking so here are the rules you and I are gonna drink until one of us falls down and that person picks up the tab didn't you just say you would pay for the first round how much money do I have no no I don't think I have any money at least from we've discussed a matter of money yeah we haven't even talked about it what you didn't give us money how'd you guys roll for it at the beginning of the thing it's not in my notes it's no you did not or you guys didn't write it down okay we'll do it again okay here's okay here's what we're gonna do this was months ago when we did character creation so here's what we're gonna do I want everybody here to do me a favor and roll a d20 and a d12 and whatever you get that's how much gold you have yeah you know what I'm famous for being a liar that's what you know what that makes the most sense clovers probably like she she's in a town and can do stuff also they may just pay her to walk away from situation I want juice no yeah so Cribs got 15 gold like as long as this doesn't get out of control you're fine right so he's gonna look at the barkeep all I have is 15 I'll go up to that the barkeep so barkeep comes over in apron and he's lining up bottles and the bottle think hot ones like the bottles gets like the alcohol content gets stronger and stronger and stronger and then the bottles stop having labels like they're more just like kind of like a almost like a like a chalky like it's just kind of like carved in so like it's like this isn't a manufactured thing this isn't like oh it's a Boone's farm like it's a you know I mean this is just like this is essentially poison don't don't drink that so so here's how it's gonna work we're gonna do rounds exactly like combat because cortex basically to its core has this fundamental principle so here's what we're gonna do we're gonna work on our scale from the book the Laverne scale and the first person to fall over loses and picks up this tab at this point can I can I ask that the team would be back and they were probably yeah they'd probably come back in just as like these bottles are being lined up and the the bartenders like you tell them it's like I got 15 gold he's like well don't lose and then just kind of like finishes like they have like these special shot glasses that they it's like it's kind of like like a little like a little it's like a it's carved out of bone but it's like a little dragon claw holding a shot glass type of thing with a flat bottom it's it's very it's like oh it's kitschy but like fun and it's like either way you get to keep the shot glass like the bartender reassures you like it's cool maybe I could sell it back to him when I'm out of gold but if you lose you go up on the wall of shame and there's a bunch of like parchment sketches of people I'll never I'm gonna I'm going on a mission where I'm gonna die holy shit has no confidence with this mission I think clover it comes in she she hears the bells see people like yeah it's like Oh party Oh drinks juice and just grabby hands towards one of them no don't touch don't don't touch by the way all your drinks are gone oh but the juice is still there the juice is disgusting oh it's like oh you're not gonna share and there's like here's that her juice is okay and goes to get it here you go I got you cousin here go thanks cousin and just like you're welcome sitting there sipping and watching just like you're doing but it's gonna be great so here's how this is going to work it's gonna work exactly like combat the best part is so you're gonna start out with no physical stress whatsoever we're gonna work up to the point where you're beyond a d12 and physical stress and that is when you pass out the good news is your opponent here is starting with a d6 in physical stress so you have an advantage out of the gate and all you got to do is drink this dwarf under the table sounds simple I you know yeah I'm just go I'm mentally I'm going back to the conversation that we had before about my luck with the last arc wasn't the best but this is a new arc well okay you can't die like no I can't die but I can I can lose all my gold yeah well yes well you got a sugar mama in the party anyway like drop it who knows I mean I don't know what's gonna happen drop it yeah that's good right that's good dare you Brian I feel like I'm getting hit with I was just gonna say when you guys like to say that to Ryan I feel like I'm getting hit with the splash from yeah it's really uncomfortable so those will stroll in see that there's some sort of challenge going on and he'll find a nice spot like in the shadows a little bit in the darkness where it's not like he's not gonna what do you call that he's not gonna upstage Criv but he's going to cross his arms lean back and observe and judge Criv as a leader depending on his success no pressure judgment is happening so hmm do you want to run to the bathroom grab a drink before this do you want to like let's let's go straight in okay well cramp goes to the bathroom real quick and that comes back okay yeah you don't wanna pee yourself at the table like that's embarrassing right so okay so okay let's let's try a thing because like this is so in this art in this arc we're introducing something called conflict level now this isn't a fight really it's not a fight to the death but I would still count it as like there's there's there's conflict you're it's a competition so it goes from one to five five being truly life or death this is definitely a combat level of one or conflict level of one like it's that there is this just like embarrassment or this is the stakes and money obviously money Amazon okay so let's see let me see if this actually works so I'm gonna try a thing Alexa's on combat mode okay so yeah so okay that actually that actually worked I think the room got hotter Wow okay that's okay Alexa disco I didn't even think about making a routine for that I just come in and say lights on and then it does that I mean yeah dude it's not it's not hard to set up a real quick I know I like I'm an idiot so I sit here and think about dumb shit like this all day so okay this dwarf is gonna is gonna be taking the first swing so let's boom let's let's do it so let me let me get ready and throw out some stats to you here because you're dealing with obviously a my pen died oh my god okay well ah oh my god the stakes have never been lower Jason he's got a d10 and fortitude he obviously has a he has a d8 in class and you guys are going to be using the indoor so he's got a d10 and indoor of course he does but he is starting with stress now we're gonna be throwing in different different qualifiers based on the drink that you so what he's gonna do is you guys are basically pounding the equivalent of like tequila right now right so probably something up start you know it's probably like a hard ale or rum something like that you know so no modifiers or anything on that but here here we go a 10 d 10 and a d8 each of us are gonna start with one plot point and may the best man win is it comp is it like the versus his number versus mine or it's exactly like combat so instead of him taking swings at you so let's see here I'm gonna take that seven and three so you got to beat a ten and the effect die is a d10 okay so then what would count as drinking defense same it's basically the same thing you're rolling you're rolling your fortitude in class just those two mm-hmm hey ladies and gentlemen we have our first catastrophic failure Ryan was so hopeful new arc it's not damn it you changed names you move systems you did everything you could I look look this is amazing okay it's gonna die of alcohol poisoning so get a new character in Jason said just a minute ago this can't kill it can't kill you well I already have a new character planned called Virk it's just gonna be backwards I'm just gonna change everything in its crib with the goatee we I know we just got art but all we have to do is a little touch-up just one addition that's it that's all it needs to have it Lord okay so for everybody out there in the cortex when you roll a one you just toss that die out it doesn't count for anything you can't use it if all your dice come up as one it's what we and the biz call a catastrophic failure now just like a D&D if you roll a one you know oh there's a chance of something bad happening if you roll all ones there is no chance of so it's just happening so here's what we're gonna do you're losing that round and that's a d10 stress die for you so as you're pounding this back you both pound your drink back and he's gonna like clank it on the the wooden table here and just kind of like stare at you and just as you're pounding this drink back the act of you like like bobbing your head back and you're like whoa you just got real dizzy all of a sudden because the rest of that alcohol is hitting you all at once you're like oh there it is like so you're you're just kind of like mmm like you're just kind of like focused on him now because of this catastrophic failure as of right now if you lose I'm gonna have you roll on the temporary madness table your rebuttal sir all right so I got two d8s and a d6 and a plan and one plot point but okay so there's one in there we got to toss that out of course it was one of the d8s so I couldn't be a two really it could be a two so he's got to be to seven so he doesn't beat it nothing happens right nothing really happens but like I think it would he just gets a little tickle it gets like oh man my wait sorry I one d10 and one d8 whoop here goes I qualify as beating a seven just new listeners don't understand my frustration all the people that listen to the last art continuing you know and you're with me Ryan has a penchant for poorly performing in luck based activities I'd say statistically speaking yeah I think the biggest thing that happened last time is I call this ancient seed demon creature from the rifts of hell underneath our boat you know I mean just just a small just just a little penny accident I mean everything worked out okay do that why do you answer Xavier yeah Jesus okay so okay oh man I just did you roll the d6 for his stressed eye last time don't forget to subtract that right no no no you just add it to your rolls it's just another die so oh no yeah do you I'll give you a chance to do it real quick just roll the d6 three wouldn't change anything okay so even if I got a six it wouldn't have changed anything that's not true that would it be he wouldn't have beat it then and you know it's still what he would have called or something it would have been a little embarrassing so okay his role again that's 3d tens now because of your your stress oh man never never battle a dwarf in a drinking contest this is on you honestly I heard free drinks I thought everything was gonna be free so this time what he's doing we're gonna simulate him reaching for a bigger bottle right so he's he's going for like like mind scream or something like that real orcish beverage which is like this will put air in your chest like he's you know his kind of his voice is a little raspy he's getting hot so he's like unbuttoning so he's got that Varick deep V thing going on from Dragon Age like you know big hairy dwarf chest if you're into that ladies fellas I'm guessing you're taking the eight and a six I mean why wouldn't I so you know I mean I I could have hoped that you know a two would have been in there but no I mean it's still a detail I gotta go next up perfect you gotta be I'm dead all right well I've hit an achievement I got a big milestone I retire today I mean that's I can't get any better odds of this this is amazing guys everybody out there in Vegas what's the over-under on him doing this one more time everybody in the chat right now like if you I mean can he pull this out I don't know if you lose this okay do me a favor give me a d6 and hold on before you roll if you roll a four through six if you lose this I'm gonna have you roll on the long term madness table if you roll a one through three it's the permanent madness table there so just give me a d6 and oh hi luck is hi ah okay from my angles that I have my dice it looks like another one so you're gonna take stakes are so low you guys this is okay this is stupid but this is his first challenges leader what I can't I mean yeah I can't back away now I know so like he's okay so again like you're like you're at a d12 now like it like this like you're you're looking like you're holding on to the table to hood it's like you're not quitting already we've only had two drinks this is this is why I was retired the tab right now is up to 30 gold he's like I'll tell you what I'll spot you a shot if you go all in on the next round and pour yourself the murderer it's a it's another orcish beverage it is almost off the scale in terms of alcoholic content it's not even it's it's basically cleaning fluid like if Lysol bottled a beverage that you can drink and it's sitting next to Pepsi but it still had the Lysol logo hero points my dude it's your hero moment your intelligence wouldn't be affected by your current I roll a d6 and subtract that Brian senior is there a way that I can use my help him in this contest at all I mean can you think of a way let's do it pitch me some no okay honestly the best idea I have so far is the bar is probably soaked in alcohol at this point and if I can light went on down fire we might be able to run away before we lose all our money but that feels like a horrible idea bonus to his role no that will be the moment I work combat medic says teammate specifically teammate I can't use it on my see you can use that plot point to step up any one of your die so he would be rolling with an 8 10 10 12 yeah you would be rolling he's got so okay you know what he said actually hold on he said he'd spot you he would spot you a shot and I would have that drive his stress up to a d8 so you'd have an extra d8 in there okay fuck it I'm going so 3d8 thing no no it'd be 3d8 3d8 6 yes I'll come out there baby come on get another freaking set of ones I I'm not even looking just they're not ones although the result is I've been rolling really well maybe I'm due for crap so maybe so I got a d8 and a d10 here we go baby here we go I think he's lifting weights while he's doing this at this point like like he's just showing off this is mean so that's not going to affect him at all do you want to push it Ryan you can push it if you push it so in in cortex this how it works he just set a new difficulty so if you can roll and beat a 17 then the balls back in his court and he needs to beat it and the stakes are higher and higher all right so this would be where he could use a plot point to change one of those d8 yeah that's true it's true then you just roll like me but then even at that hand you can if you you'd have to max out yeah it's still wouldn't unless unless you stepped down your class died to a d4 took the other plot point that you'd get from that and then step up the two remaining d8s to d10s it's a risky it's a risky gambit if you push it and fail you're you basically like you set yourself up to like your your days what's the coin count up to now well the murderer is very very expensive it takes years to brew so we're up to about it takes a we're up to about like 67 gold right that's the party's gold yeah all right well I can now include myself in the group of special dragonborn I liked it okay the entire time this is happening zozos in the corner like fucking Strider just like eyeballing you know calling me names under his breath I'm sure so do you wanna do you want to go for that no no okay he still hasn't polished you off yet if you just say hey I'm gonna take the yeah I think he's gonna hold up his like he's gonna take that shot put it down and kind of like hold up one hand and then kind of hold the other hand over to shake I'm done I'm done I'm done can't do any more you win and I know he's gonna ridicule me but oh yeah but that's not that was enough for question like so okay you got to imagine all these people in the bar are like cheering it's like yeah so there's money changing hands in the background because they're like no no no he can come back for this stupid well okay on him you're especially after that first shot yeah okay like there's some people said no no he's playing a long game he's trying to grift him like you're you're like you're you're pulling him in it's like look at him he's a huge dragonborn he could beat that little dwarf like there's some people who are like if you think about the scene from their point of view they don't know that you're rolling one's fault yeah they're look it's so like you got you got people who are who are like cheering you on like come on come on and then if you say I'm done you're gonna hear a lot of disappointed people and they're like no yep that because they're gonna lose money and the dwarf is like oh come on that's not how you end a drinking game here I'll take two more shots one more round he's gonna take all of his hair in the back you can hear those those voice like very little distinctly through the crowd like a little low where like people can't like stop talking at the same time just like and they'd be eyes at that second um Cribs gonna stand up put down his entire satchel of gold and four of the five potions and walk back to the table wait walk back to what table the table that we were at like originally before we oh okay so you're just you're just tapping out like you're just okay so you're gonna hear a lot of disappointed people and just like ah and then they you know when the bartender is like alright that's enough people that's enough and this this dwarf is gonna kind of jump up into his chair and just like yeah like an are you not entertained kind of thing so it's a big day like it's like yay it's it's it this is like this is like an Irish person winning a drinking game on st.
Patrick's Day like it's it's like yay you know what I mean like it's it's it's a huge like it's a Cinderella story how does the party greet Crib oh please don't throw up on me oh he's a he's like starting to hurl a couple times oh okay I'm gonna go and get you some pretzels we got a you got to soak that up I hope they have pretzels we'll see what they got and he's gonna run to the bar and find out what kind of carbs they've got to soak up some of this with pretzels peanuts chunks of bread they absolutely have that they have that stuff and they also make a mean cheese stick like they have like what it is is a like they call them bread ribs so it's these big puffy conjoined almost like hot dog buns and they are both stuffed with cheese and then there's like there's six cheeses browned on top with flecks of meat in it usually like like a crispy ham or bacon something like that okay so that's fascinating and what he's going to say to the bartender is all right now in your expert opinion what of these food stuffs is least likely to get your bar thrown up in a lot by a dragonborn that just had a lot to drink like a lot someone's gonna have to clean that up and it's probably not us because we will we will just go he's gonna he's gonna say look I put an order of bread rins in for free just because he tried he's having a hard time look like he really rolled a lot of ones out there so like I'm gonna and then that's that's how we say it yeah and he's rolled on the long term yeah your friend keep it on your friend he looks real like so he's going to hand you a bucket he's like but you are responsible for your friend and he's kind of like like he's gonna hand you that whoa well come on oh damn it yeah yeah so you got an order of bread ribs coming all right and I'll he carries the bucket back over and this is all right Crib uh this is your new best friend you just keep this right in your lap no up you have it upside down flip it over okay there you go that's right side up you just keep it right like that and if this this isn't your first rodeo you know what to do and I've got I've got some carbs coming though but because we're gonna try and soak some of that up and he's paying a little bit for you all he does is give you a thumbs up and he scoots to like the back edge of the stool that he's sitting at takes the bucket puts it in his lap puts his entire head into the bucket leans over a little bit where his heads on the wall and then just wraps his arm around the bucket and just stays there and every now and then you may hear oh that's how he is for the next foreseeable future Culver's like can I have your your cool glass that you got because they got a shot glass right and she's like thank you and saying green is a good color on you and just is fiddling with her shot glass and she's pouring juice in it and pretending she's being like what they were doing look at me I could do it yeah look at me okay couple things one Alexa exit combat mode so the the worst is past here we will have to have you roll on that long-term madness table but we're also going to give you a d10 complication complications in cortex are basically things that count against you and this d10 complication is called absolutely hammered so until you sober up you're you're gonna have that complication it'll step down over time and then just disappear so as long as you don't get into combat or try to do anything like like oh I mean Chris not trying to move right now he's as he's essentially hugging this bucket and not doing anything the only thing I'm gonna draw from the ATM the only thing I'm gonna have you do is let's see if you can hold this liquor down now everybody out there everybody out there in the chat everybody listening while at school on the jog on the bus whatever you're doing I want you to think of a number that Ryan should roll and I want you to put that out there in the universe I want you yes that's it give lend him your energy in the chat right now because the difficulty is to d10s so all you got to do is beat whatever this is so hold on to d10s we're rolling we're rolling and it is a 13 lucky number 13 so Ryan's got a roll of 14 or higher and you're gonna take your class and your fortitude you also have a d10 complication forgot about that so no 1313 is the highest there so so this is this so everybody in the chat right now root root for Ryan give give him all your energy Ryan give me your fortitude in class give it to me give it to me give it to me hey one of them was the max you can get I think of it this way you're getting all your ones out of the way at the beginning of the campaign but you will absolutely lose your cookies at this table so like that may help like overnight so I don't I don't know about you in real life but I am a loud thrower-upper like I I dragon shout at porcelain like you too all the all the veins under my eyeballs just like oh god really that's crazy like I am born yep so imagine you sticking your snoot into this bucket and like just loud noises oh yeah oh god yeah I'm gonna hear another couple laughs absolutely especially from the guy that dwarven guy but like you had the balls to do that so like he's gonna be like he'll bust your balls but like now it's over like whatever beef it's like whatever that guy's fine like he's dead you know so there'll be some comment about like ah dragonborn is supposed to be so tough that's supposed to be the peak performance blah blah blah so he's just gonna do all that but like no one's gonna come and harass you you're in enough pain already those I will look at clover and Olmo how are you two not dead from secondhand embarrassment right now no well here's the thing I'm a couple things well you don't might not know this about me but I used to travel around with bottomless joy and there's a lot of opportunity to watch people be like really drunk in those scenarios that's way worse than this and so that was one and the other thing is I already had all the embarrassment I'm ever gonna have in my life when I first saw bottomless joy and was really excited and they kept trying to say calm down calm down and I was I couldn't and and so I figure once I got over that getting over Chris losing the freaking contest pretty bad it's you can only have so much embarrassment in your life before it's like okay here we go again that's that's how I see it and Cobra is mostly just being like oh poor person that I just met but that is my new friend and going pat pat pat and also like staring it's like I didn't know our skills could turn that color what happens if I take one and going bouncing between those two feelings like can I pluck a skill from us that how it works also I'm also on the side that's used together too yeah and also then also like that's cool that feels neat you're no this this is a bonding moment you're gonna look back on this fondly one day so this is the worst moment of my life that's your leader so I would imagine you guys aren't hitting the road then you're gonna probably settle down for the evening yeah I mean we wanted to go Crave originally wanted to go hit like a library or something but daddy you want to still do that we can do it like we can I don't know I don't think I'll be able to read in the dark alley I'd you're just gonna drop crib somewhere else and then keep walking we're not gonna check in a hotel after tonight we're oh wait hiding it cuz and I hate to impose but do you have a word is there place do you have a place we could crash at tonight or something does Cooper stay you know what I was gonna have you roll for this because one you're a very friendly person and I imagine you like to help yes - please don't take this the wrong way your type of chipper could become incredibly annoying to some and you're clumsy so like I think there's a 50/50 chance that you are either staying in someone's guest house or you're sleeping in a barn and I'm not sure what it is so I need you to roll a d10 one through five it's barn six through ten and there's a little guest house you've been staying at a barn would be it's gonna be in the barn where we destroyed the fence that's what's gonna happen we're not gonna be a lot of but it's a nice spot like it that they pitched it to you is like oh like there's a guest house and they're like you don't want to stay there there's this barn it's a wonderful barn you're gonna love it it's got fresh hay and it's away from all of our fine China it's great you're gonna look at that they have a guest house yes and just casually redirected you but I feel like I feel like clovers like positive enough that like yeah yeah like it's just kind of like seeing oh yeah as she's like oh sure we can go and just leading them and shitter chatter like this my place is great I have so much room it's really comfy did you know with that and it's like I and I've learned how to braid it and it gets into this really cool I had this cool little corner all for myself and I made little dolls just so I can talk to them in the morning when I do my daily affirmations and so real quick you are rooming with a goat named Roger and I love Roger and yes Rogers my new friend but not as good a friend as you guys of course cousin you're my best friend of course but Roger Roger it was there for me the crib crib walks in takes the bucket and kind of puts it down over the straw and kind of like sizes it up moves the bucket takes out enough straw for the bucket to fit into and then lays down on his stomach with astute still in the bucket and then just lives there the last thing you hear from him is and his crew passes out Rogers going to walk over no no no Rogers gonna walk over and just kind of nibble at the straw that you're sleeping on but like right next to your ear just kind of because like it's interesting morning and we're cuddling so that maybe it's gonna happen to close out today's episode what I'd like to do is this Ryan other Ryan I think it's time to roll for some madness so let's see how long this is going to be impacting you first it's long-term so give me a d10 and we're going to multiply that by three so now is when I want the one yes stone roll that one baby come on that universe you hear me one my worry is that it does and doesn't care six all right so that's an 18 so for 18 years no no no 18 days okay so everybody out there in the adventures guide to Theria volume 1 we have included many many tables you could find it on Amazon is super cheap hard hard to cover beautiful 400 pages and we have madness tables Ryan can I get a d100 from you please how do you do a D 100 here it's the double zeros it's the double zeros or next to the d10 there's two zeros yeah is it just that yeah there yes if the eight pretty middle of the road okay you're gonna you're gonna sit up and it's it's it's dawn and like you're you're kind of like you're shifting around to this pile of straw and you're just you like bleary-eyed looking around it's like so you slept for 14 hours it is now the 29th but you're up at dawn that's a that's a plus and you're you're kind of like stretching your head aches we're gonna take away that d10 complication you're sober now it's it's a new hell but like you're you're sober and you're kind of like kind of like like you know kind of like scratching your ears and just kind of like like an end you're gonna notice that usually when you like kind of like rub your ears like you you kind of stop up your hearing for a second and you didn't notice that this time but then you're gonna look around and see that this goat is like that like making goat sounds and you don't you don't hear that and that's because for the next 18 days you are deaf and my luck continues folks so we're gonna have to figure something and can't hear anything and I think that's a good time for us to stop for the evening so next time we sit down we'll get you guys on the road and wow say what I got a shot glass yeah that's gonna be great sir you got a cool shot glass bed and a bucket bucket is my friend I don't think he wants it back after what you did do it like it's it's it's full of cheese ribs Roger can have the bucket Roger it's up to you Roger and I cuddled overnight so so don't go anywhere everybody out there we'll be right back and we're gonna answer some questions and decompress a little bit but there's a quick word from our sponsor I stuff shave your balls shave your balls more importantly let him know I told you you guys you guys want to answer some questions first one is from mr. person over on our discord server and again if you guys have questions for any of the groups you can email them to me you can DM me you can whatever we're trying to get a nice repository of questions I've been now in the chat I might see well while I'm not I'm not live at the time so I might see it oh that was actually that was the most active I've ever been in a chat was last week because I was able to actually focus is yeah my question my question for backbound is what's your favorite dragon type I know it's kind of basic but it seems appropriate I don't know if it has to be Therian like I think like whatever yeah indeed talking real life yeah do you guys have a favorite yeah when my favorite dragon is heroine I guess like the chromatic or or or whatever the metallic dragons like go by that basis I don't know man copper dragon always thought they were cool just cuz it's one of the like more common metals it's like it's not as dignified as the goal or it's just it feels like a down-to-earth a dragon you could have a beer with blue color yeah blue color alloy that copper dragon I don't what their their their dragon breath is but matter it's just I think it's cool it's cool it's a whiskey I don't I always thought that okay hot take I I always thought the metallic dragons were silly I'm sorry I'm not a real DM I know I just I I always thought it's like what you're made of that well art dragons cool enough Jesus like it's yeah I don't know I just I maybe I'm boring I mean it's really just a shiny color scheme but you know so it's like like a rare like you opened like you open to pack of magic cards and it's like oh I got that you know yeah okay I get behind that if they're foiled then yeah like yeah throw the master ball at the shiny okay then never mind I'm back on board back into me that's how they got it that way but yeah yeah that's how they distinguish between the good aligned and the evil line the the metal ones were the good ones and then the chromatic were the evil so racial profiling it's okay he's one of the good ones like it's like they're changing it slowly no no no I okay I I'm one of those guys that didn't have a big problem with orcs and stuff because I didn't see them as like inherently evil but I know that's how they're written in the books and all that there's a whole lot of stuff you got to unpack but yeah literature written by yeah draw or harder to defend yeah yeah a little harder so any more hot takes on dragons just any well the question we were asked was if we had a favorite one yeah and when I was younger there were two there were only so many dragons that were prevalent in in young people's culture there was Pete's dragon who was imaginary it didn't count and then there was after all these years it was was there oh no he started he started thinking about Angelina Jolie like I get it guys sexiest dragon let's go I mean I mean we just tackled it it's the Angelina Jolie one yeah that's not really fair and there we go you said the cursed words and you did I don't know I guess what she did but she cursed her yeah so so I guess that was just it my favorite dragon by taking the long way around so if we're going staying in the D&D realm the blue dragons have always been my favorite because something about being able to spit lightning pretty cool I'm always that if we're going outside of D&D Rayquaza Pokemon what mmm a big legendary green dragon I don't I don't know that Pokemon I'm if it's not part of the 150 a one in the beginning I just don't I can't I stopped keeping up with the kids and I don't know what's hip anymore I'm sorry it's it's 38 on soul you said 384 okay so what is that it was that silver and gold no no no no did Jen it's gotta be like Gen 3 right they didn't add a hot another fucking 200 like there's no way they added him that fast someone in chat yeah someone in chat knows absolutely knows it's like oh actually according to the European Polka Dax like someone's fucking schooling you right now you really wrote a one on that which I believe is Gen 3 okay so grouping sapphire there you go there's a Gameboy advanced version that okay Rayquaza looks like a caterpillar they're just kind of like shut up right and be better right like you can't fuck that caterpillar no caterpillar wasn't a Tomb Raider like you know it's just real like real judgey Mandy hottest dragon go well I mean I would go hottest raise Valgaire is that a Dark Souls dragon no I was Final Fantasy 14 oh my god else else I'm mad at me for not knowing that there's a there's a you're gonna meet a cooler dragon so yeah okay so if I'm going outside of D&D there's a really cool dragon in the latest expansion wins also has a name from a an 11 dragon that is also adorable well not really adorable because it tries to eat you but you know I love it and D&D dragon always love silver dragons so screw you Jason this is just my personal like I I think it's dumb they'd be really heavy are they like are they just coated in metal if so that seems stiff are they made of that metal all the way through because they're just heavy like I don't know like I know it's magic and they're dragons but like fuck that like you're right you know what it just because they don't fit my Eurocentric versions of dragon beauty doesn't you know what the problem is I started with Angelina Jolie and now we're at that like it's you can't move up to a bronze dragon then it's just I don't know how about another question yeah I said copper dragon oh yeah I'm gonna say the everlasting dragon dragons who get their mortality from their scales that's pretty cool neither alive or dead it's pretty cool that is pretty kind of fuzzy kind of furry - okay this is an interesting question everybody in the call and I know what's coming after this but okay everybody in the call has to pick their favorite fictional thing franchise we're not rating it we're not doing anything but there is an addendum to this so just your favorite like your favorite like video game universe whatever okay okay okay now one by one I'd like us all to to say that I don't even know what mine would be can't say ours that seems Star Wars ah here's the thing in recent years Star Wars has tested me I haven't watched the TV shows and I should have because I went to the theater and saw those and everything except Rogue One and the first the first episode 9 was pretty good or 777 was good anyway let's say Star Wars fuck it I don't care Xavier what's yours say the line Xavier is it dark so yeah Ryan senior what's yours it's always been the comic books Captain America spider-man okay I should see we're gonna have to narrow it down a little bit that's a that's a that's just yeah yeah mine's always been books things on paper newspaper coffee shop menu whatever toilet paper other Ryan bad luck always been a big fan of the Pokemon universe okay Mandy you not oh huh what it's an enemy Oh gesundheit so now this isn't so much a question but a request in your browsers right now type in the name of the thing that you just said and then porn right after it you know why not all has already a little oh right you're right you're right you're right you're right okay that's fine don't do that anime is tricky yeah and let's do that okay I know for a fact there's plenty of that so now you guys can play along at home if you'd like but without being lewd what is your first impression we'll start with Xavier some results may be explicit I gotta click update save search settings results filter on back results for Dark Souls porn are hidden by safe search I just really Dark Souls of foreign just makes it harder I gotta make sure that I'm on my work VPN before I do I'm just gonna do it in my own oh wow that's our source porn - what's the worst gonna happen oh it's turned on - Ryan senior what about you we'll come back to Xavier Oh Ryan seniors dead oh oh he didn't have his I'm out bad luck Ryan what do you what's what you got well I'm making sure that I'm off my work VPN before they get flagged I don't want a letter from our IT supervisor to get you all fired you have some thoughts about butter free and we need to so what are we looking for like the splash page yeah yeah just the Google image splash page and just like the first thoughts like just it's like hmm you don't have to describe anything just like huh there's a lot that's okay I found it this is from Duncan two nine nine by the way thank you Duncan thank you most of these I've seen already so okay we're no strangers to the internet but like you know okay so what before I just keep staring at it what a reason what are we rating it on what's the I mean you don't have to raid it you don't have to I it's just basically it's like okay what you're doing is you're shepherding the blind so that somebody doesn't have to do this basically you described it's like okay guys here's my first impressions like it's a it's a like it's a dining experience it's like you know what three stars like I don't know whatever it's like guys it's a lot of a lot of tentacles or a lot of you know ass a lot of big asses mostly ass somehow that is not what I pictured for Dark Souls that's interesting yeah well I mean like the HIC see characters in there ah oh yeah you got your fire keepers fire keepers are your main protagonist you know okay yeah mostly ass focus Mandy you so my first impression is a lot of people want to boink yes Tola so big sense because catgirl lots of yeah porn with the cat girls the dragon girls you bunny girls and there's one really interesting picture that's boring but I'm like oh that's pretty I'm like hell yeah two ladies going at it but also very nice art like it oh yeah I mean the I mean if you're gonna if you're gonna do it do it right right you know Ryan senior before you before you disappear again yeah no I apparently even looking this up caused my entire computer to say we're not doing anything that's fair that's that's fair the only victory tonight yeah you know I but the overall impression is not only extremely well done but the variety of styles at varying degrees of professionalism it's it's just it's some look like actors some were just flat-out art and all of its uncomfortable is this gonna guess that get us banned probably getting bad on Twitch yeah I don't think so cuz we're not showing anything and we're not describing anything lewdly it's more just like so actually you know what I didn't as you were finishing your description I wanted to say ditto yeah but that's a Pokemon and I don't did old porn the important thing is I think we can talk about this as long as we're in like a like a spa or a bathtub or a pool and there's one just outside of camera that you can't see so now we can talk about it all we want you know what though so there's so many different sites that I'm on page 9 of Google and it finally started to run out of different pages so okay I did the thing too because I realized well this isn't fair that's it so first impressions firstly a lot of a lot of a soccer a lot of that that character that Rosario Dawson is playing a lot of a lot of that also my first thought was that's not where a lightsaber goes and in fairness it was a Sith Lord I don't think it was about the pleasure well I'm hmm okay so you know how when you turn on a lightsaber it makes that humming noise mm-hmm so obviously the one end is super horrible right yeah but maybe that humming noise is because like the whole thing is kind of got some kind of am i spelling out like every thought about this no no yeah no no no no no I get you I get where you gonna see though I think that would be I think it'd be a lot of where a wear and tear on a Jedi's wrist right you know fiber sword let's see let me go check that out what I'm drawn together I feel like I was on drawn together probably they're not good guys looking no yeah okay no guys let's end this before we do get on twitch thank you everybody out there for for sticking with us I will turn things over now to Ryan senior who's going to take us out Ryan take us away thank you everybody for coming and viewing and or listening to us we were absolutely thrilled to have you here and we would like to remind you that you can see us every Saturday on twitch at 6 o'clock central and the podcast itself will be released the right the following day given the time zones that matter I spent the same just whipping out of central like central time flyover country is what that is it's just like your pizza we skip over it oh just waiting for the day for someone to start listing out all the times this GMT GMT minus one so yeah seven o'clock Eastern for those of you that live over that way and four o'clock Pacific for those of you who live over that way Eastern's where it's at West Coast best coast I don't know you have that whatever murder night we don't worry about that that's not here that was no that's not what that was that was beast coast baby that was that was what I left behind yeah the place that he's making fun of is a place that he says he likes the pizza so I don't know oh no I mean the pizza never vandalized my car you know what I actually don't believe that based on that was good oh that was really good I think that is a perfect place to leave