Tameeki Philadelphia

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[CLINKING] Peacocks. This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. I think they mean us. Oh, [BLEEP] Um-- [CLEARS THROAT] With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold, Olympic highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, only on Peacock. Coming to Apple TV+ on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs.

Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. It's your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a crit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV+. Howdy, everybody out there. Thank you for joining us this week for Dungeons and Randomness. I wanted to very briefly, like super briefly, talk to you guys about something that I've recently had a chance to sit and think about a lot.

We got emails from you guys. And ever since the arc started, you have been amazing at sending us suggestions and workarounds and all kinds of stuff. Obviously, the arc didn't start the way we wanted it to. But that doesn't mean it can't end the way we want it to way down the line. So you may have noticed we've been doing a ton of stuff on the editing side, making it more user friendly and all that. There's going to be a few things in this episode that are a bit of an upgrade. It is by no means finished. Throughout the arc, you're going to be seeing things like health bars for everybody in a combat situation.

You'll be able to see at a glance what's going on. Basically, taking advantage of the fact that this is a prerecorded show and doing stuff that you can't really do efficiently in a live stream. More than that, though. I personally will not be talking about politics or bummer stuff like that on the show. And it's mostly just because we're supposed to be a fantasy show. And what we want to do is get back to distracting you guys and letting you listen to something without being constantly reminded of how bad things may be in the real world for people. That by no means changes the way we think or what we do in real life.

But on the show, it's supposed to be for you guys. In the behind the scenes, it may be mentioned here and there. But I don't think there's going to be too many long-winded political rants. But just wanted to kind of get that out there for you guys. I said this is going to be short. So I'm going to get out of your way. Thank you all so much. If you like this, hit that little Subscribe button. Hit that Follow button. Share it with your friends. You have no idea how much that stuff helps us out. And without further ado, let me get out of your way so you can enjoy the show.

Welcome to Dungeons & Randomness. And welcome to Group Ravens. First of all, please go check us out on Patreon, patreon.com/dandr. Also, join us on the Discord. You can find the link on our website or Patreon. You can find us all over our website at dandrpodcast.com, all the social media stuff, all the Twitters, all the Facebooks, all the other things. Other than that, here's what you got to know from last time. Group Ravens. We all arrived in Durnhollow, which is a beautiful village. Had some rough times in the past. Rebuilt a lot of itself. No problem. There's no problems whatsoever with Durnhollow, except that whenever we arrive at the very end of the evening, a figure comes out, stumbles to the ground, dead.

Another figure races away. Petrichor runs after. The rest of the group sticks around, trying to figure out what's going on. A race and chase ensues. Turns out it was a 11-year-old boy that had done this dastardly deed. Eventually, at some point, runes and petrichor are finding themselves in a little cave with some terrible-- well, let's just say it. They're racists. And there's some terrible people. And anyway, we keep cutting back and forth. And I guess that's kind of where we started back up. Dog kind of got hurt a little bit, but dog's fine now. And now we've got to see what's going on, because at this point, runes and petrichor have-- they've started running away.

And now the group's going to come back together and see what we can do to make all this be OK. [GROANING] Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the dungeon master. I just like saying-- I just-- oh, it's just-- Going around the table, starting with Jasper. Oh, hello. I am Jasper. I play petrichor mulch, the venali druid. And Brianna. Hello. I'm Brianna, and I play runes, the faden monk/barbarian. And Susan. Hi, I'm Susan. I play Tamika Fildehan, the shifter sorcerer. And last and certainly not least, the team leader, the man with the plan, Alex.

Hi, I'm Alex. I play K'naan, the human warlock. Team leader. Yeah. Last time on the show, we ended with you guys running out of a cave, ditching. There was this lovely little mist spell, a little smoke cloud, just ninja smoke. Boom, and you guys ran. So the five of you, counting Terry, six, counting Dog, are taking off into the night. You guys are a good distance away from Dernhollow proper, and you definitely have armed-- let's call them separatists, Alaran separatists. And they are giving chase, but thankfully, you guys have a head start. I'm going to give you a choice as team leader.

You can either roll an athletics check for the entire party, or you can have everyone roll athletics, but with advantage. Do I get a little bonus from my-- is this my bonus from my trivia win? No, your bonus comes in combat. If you get in combat, then you have advantage on everything you do. Before I make this decision, can I use the powers of perception to see how many people were chasing us in total, like what the total number is? Yes, yes, you can. Give me a perception. Thank you. Appreciate it. Of course. Normal. 16, excellent. So in total, you got about-- you got about 12 people to contend with here.

Obviously, there's a child in there too, but like-- Oh, he's dead. Well, I don't-- We fight him. He's the first one we kill. Like, this kid's not really keeping up with the group, and he's 11. I think you could take him, but he's a dog kicker. We know that. So-- He has too much evil weighing him down. That's why he can't run very fast. His black, cold heart isn't pumping the same as anyone else's. So obviously, advantage is fantastic, but there are some weak links, not to point fingers, within the group that probably aren't going to be as fast as everyone else, Terry.

So obviously, that's a thing. But what's your athletics? Who's the one who weighed us down? I can tell you that Kinana is a-- I wouldn't call him super smart leader, but he knows his worth, and he knows athletics definitely put him in the discount bin with a negative 1 overall. So even if I made everyone roll, I would be the reason why we most likely would fail. Don't forget you get advantage. But you'd have advantage if we all rolled. Sure. But advantage with a negative 1 is still advantage with a negative 1. That's the overall percentage. Two options. Would it help if I gave you a DC now?

It would, but I don't want you to do that. I feel like that's compromising. That's something you-- I don't want to ruin the way you DM for the sake of trying to argue here. No, not at all. That's one of the things I appreciate about you as a GM, Jason. You're like, I don't want to make it too easy. I want you to make it a little challenging. Also-- That all depends on who you ask. That is a benefit or detriment. I think it's a benefit. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with DNR from the very beginning, because it's always like, damn, this sounds rough.

And then when you make it out, it's like playing Elden Ring. You know? It's challenging, and you make it out, and you're like, I can do fucking anything. And then you go outside, and you can barely talk to a human being and try to order a burrito. You know, you're like, I'm-- your respect for that difficulty spike and for the rules is one of the reasons I fell in love with you. So, you know? I love it. Anyways. What's going on? No, no, no one leaves. No, no one leaves. You stay. You all have to see this. Witness us. That's the-- [LAUGHTER] I would say, K'Nan, in his head, he's thinking, if we can't fight simple human separatists, how are we ever going to fight or communicate properly and take a powerful position against the current owners of Dawnhurst?

Right? How are we going to handle that problem if we can't handle these fucking chumps or highly organized chumps? I'm not going to downgrade them here. Well, there is some good news when it comes to that. Let's talk about how highly organized they are. So I would definitely count-- obviously, it's not a real world analog. But I would point to these people as the type of people who all think they would do great in an apocalyptic setting, like their doomsday preppers. It's like, oh, man, that'd be great. And in three days into no cell phone service, they all turn a gun on themselves.

Like it's like some of them are fit for this lifestyle. Some of them are not happy with it. And they kind of turn that anger on people who took away their society, that type of thing. So most of them weren't ready for a fight. They're not wearing full armor. They're wearing-- they're repping the merch, don't get me wrong. But they were hanging out in that cave, expecting this kid to come back. And you know what I mean? So it's not exactly like you're fighting like 12 nights or something, you know? Then in that case, Alex, the player, will suggest to the group, I am OK with choosing the everyone rules athletics.

And should it be the downfall of us, Kinan will definitely be OK with fighting. OK, I'm down. That sounds very fair. OK. Trying to be as fair but also pragmatic as possible. Been reading leadership books just for this game specifically. Oh. What kind of leadership books? It's like product management books. Like one of my mentors wrote a book. And he's a mentor because he was my boss at one point. And it was the first time where he was like, I trust you. Do what you got to do. I have no guidance. I'm terrified. And then I learned because he did that. Also, when I did that because he was worried about his own job to doing what he had to focus on and didn't have time to help me.

I like it. So I like this idea. Let's let's do it one by one. So petrichor 16 petrichor like you, you're the one to drop the ninja smoke bomb. You're out the door. You're gone. What about runes? Athletics. Yeah. With advantage. Advantage. Holy shit. 19. Yeah. How about dog? Let's throw dog into the mix. What's dog stats? Dogs, dogs, a dog. So like athletics. Should not be a problem. So plus one. Dog is more dog is a sheep. Dog is a sheep. That's fair. Only because here's the thing. Only because she has four legs. That's that's it. Otherwise, all sheep. OK, so let's say plus one.

Hold on a second. Why didn't I just roll athletics? You dumb, dumb athletics. Well, I wish to roll athletics with advantage, baby. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. Oh, no. So that it's so 18 dogs doing great. So that only leaves to Mika. Terry. And cannot. To make it, would you like to go now? OK, why is that advantage? I have a plus two. Let's see how this goes. Oh, yeah. Only one. Oh, God. 16 in the 19th. Shit, it's Terry and Kanan. OK, I would like Terry to go before me, please. Shit. OK. Oh, Terry. Huh? I OK for just visual purposes. I like to say to Mika because they just ran up to me.

I didn't know what was happening, but then she sees a group of like 12 people after runs and Patrick or to me, good, like, like turns around quickly and actually like gates on all fours. Oh, nice. Oh, OK. So Terry's Terry's got a flat D 20. Fuck Terry. Terry. Oh, wait, he gets advantage. I'm so sorry. That's an eight, but he gets advantage. Hold on one more. And oh, come on, Terry. Well, he's in full plate. Yeah, he's in full plate. The man's trying and he had to carry the dog all the way here. It's part of his training. It is. It's land on 20 for a second. Ted, like it.

Yeah. Yes, it did. 20 on my screen. That's what I said last time. Like the programmers for this app, for this desktop app had to have put somewhere in the logic that the dice will shift and then bounce back. Like they did that on purpose. That's maniacal. Hey, go fuck yourself. Boom. Like just. Can on the staff here. Oh, my God. You thought I could leave my chair behind? Never. This is a leadership choice. This is that's what that is. I mean, of all the people to be not able to get out of the way, a couple of humans. I mean, true. I'm not saying there's not a fight, but I'm also saying it's not.

Yeah, they may be able to talk themselves out of it. Maybe. I, I think in some respects, it's worse, right? Like, I don't know what the term like. It's not Uncle Tom, but I don't know what it would be for like two humans that are not only partnering up, but like actively when faced with a choice, actively taking the side of non humans. You're worse. You're you're like. I don't know what the term would be. Guys out there. We need a term. But we don't need a term. No, we don't. Go ahead and not. Don't stop. But I also like to point out that these two humans have the smallest ravens.

Well, cannot has the smallest raven symbol. And then Terry doesn't have one. So you guys can pretend you were chasing us. I mean, poorly. Just let's have wacky adventures where everyone thinks that you're racist. But like, you know, I will not have to be at prom at the same time that you were like on a movie date with someone like. That's not good for the brand. Sorry. That's not. Not like, let me get a let me get a map for you guys. Holy shit. There's a lot there. OK. Um. Brunes, you're going to kick us off here. You're going to start. Let's go. Don't forget to speak into the microphone.

Sorry. You're right. Yes, I. You're fine. Let me move my let me move the let me switch because I have you guys on this computer. So. I switch it now when I looking at the thing. Yeah. OK. So we're stopping because Terry stopped and now I think I should go after the ringleader, the wise knight, as it were. That feels like the way to go, so I'm going to move. It's what he calls himself. Oh, really? Come on. One second, I don't think I have my. Javelin, yep. Sorry, I didn't have those equipped. I got it now. So I'm going to hit him with my quarter staff. Oh, normal. Oh, eleven is going to miss.

Eleven. All right, one second. I don't know if I get an unarmed strike after that. Let me just double check when you use it when I use the attack action. So, yes, I do get a bonus action for my unarmed strike. I missed it with the quarter staff, but I get to try. This. Punch it. There we go. Oh, all right. Twenty, twenty is fine. Right. So I distracted him with my quarter staff. What I did was like, I went over his head, I duped him. And then it was like that. I come in with the unarmed strike. There it is. Did it work that time? OK. Yeah. There we go. Six damage. Boom.

I don't know why it worked the first time, but. Well, that is. Boop, six damage. Do you know what? I'll add a little. Hmm. Hmm. A little ball spar for that guy. How about that? Oh, I love it. It's just like Elden Ring has his name. Oh, my God. That will bring up modest archer if there's nothing else you'd like to do. No, that's it. That's my bonus action for the turn. So. Oh, my God. OK, longbo. These guys are these guys are deadly marksmen. Everybody out there, ignore the challenge rating. That is false. So I think what we're going to do is I think we got to fire on runes, right?

Because like that, that. So longbo attack, normal boom. Oh, all right. I'm fairly certain that missed. 13. 13, 15. Hell, yeah. Ah, good. OK, next up would be the ditzy archer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be embarrassing if this one hit. Oh, man. This one's going to shoot for cannot. So we're going to. Why did I open my mouth? Why cannot human? She went in the not humans. I mean, you know, I saw that 20. I was at a heart attack. God. OK, so that's not that's not great to kick things off. Demos is normal. Oh, oh, oh, are you down? I'm alive. No, I have six HP, but I'm alive.

Better than I thought. That's better than I thought for a warlock on. Wait, why did you know that? Oh, I subtracted. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know. That's good. That's good. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Oh, bloody. Look at that. It's good that Alex did that. Yeah. Oh, God. Can on your up. Oh, this is vomiting. Yes. Shot. OK. I forget how to use my healing thing. Is it a bonus action to use that? My it'll tell you on the spell thing. Excuse me. So if you go to your spell book. Yeah, I have it right here. I'm going to use healing light. It says I can heal one creature I can see within 60 feet.

Can I do it to myself? You're a creature. I am. And I am. Can you see yourself? If I look at. Yeah, if I look down. There you go. OK, I'm going to give myself. The last of my my 2D6 as a bonus action heal. Mm hmm. So standard role. Consume resource, consume available usage. Yep. Usability. Damage. Normal. That's one, and I use it one more time. So four so far. OK, I get six back. Total, so the eight or no, sorry, I have twelve, I have twelve HP. So I will do it if that's OK. Yeah, go right ahead. You forgot you have you have permission to do that. Nice. OK, so can on. I would say he breaks because you're supposed to.

You're not supposed to pull it out. You're supposed to break the the shaft of the arrow. He tosses it down on the ground. He looks at the archer who did this to him, kind of have a half smile full of blood, puts one hand over the wound, and it starts off a shadow like little tentacles. But then they turn to like, I would call it blue light tentacles. It's opposite. It's like healing holy type of tentacles, and they stitch his little wound together. Not all the way. He's still injured, but he stands up because that was a bonus action. So for my real action, I'm going to use Eldritch Blast against which was the Ditzy Archer.

Ditzy Archer is that one right all the way in the back. OK, and how do I target? Oh, just just do the thing. OK. And I get advantage because it's an attack role and I won the trivia game. Yes, you did. Fantastic. Oh, they're both six. I think the nine 14 will definitely hit. Awesome. Oh, well, damaged Ditzy Archer, please, as she is pelted by a ball of shadow. And I'd say it's got charged with like holy electricity or just electricity, like I guess dancing on the outside. That will kill the Ditzy Archer. K'Nan said, no, you. I like that you did one more damage to her than she did to you.

That's forced and just the lightning, but it's supposed to be force damage. So good. Yeah. And then that's the end of my turn because I know not to move forward, although hold on. Yeah, I'm just sitting next to Terry so he can help get anybody who comes near me off of me. And now, oh, yeah, Terry's got you. Well, I mean, it's kind of like a meat shield for one guy, you know. I'll look to Tamika. And I'll say, you know, be careful. And I'll point that we're basically there's three there's two, three guys who are still on unmarked, essentially the three nights in front of the three thugs.

But that'll be the end of my turn. Happy thug. Happy, happy thug is going to come just smiling up to up to runes. And let's try to hit runes with a mace. Oh, that is 11. That's not going to do it. It does have a multi attack, though. So gets one more attack. But boom. Oh, OK. That one, that one, that one stings a little. Or not five. Five damage. You know, it's not great. It's not terrible. Let me know if you want me to give you the damage or you guys got it. Could you give me the damage? Absolutely. It would be my pleasure. Thank you so much. I like it when you do it.

No, just because I feel like I'm hitting myself the other way. OK, don't don't. I like it when you hurt me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Yeah, that's why I immediately said sorry in there. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I quit. Everyone's going to hit runes. No, the archer is grumpy. Archer is going to fire on Terry. Oh, fuck. Because he won't be. Sorry. Too handsome. It's a soul patch. Whoo. It is. Oh, man, you're you're God. That's so patch. So that does damage. Sadly, the gods gave you that chin and you covered it. Fucking soul patch. How dare you? If you're fucking your under lip pelt thing.

So maybe he has a butt chin that he's not like or love. Yeah. Or like he's just you know, he's not comfortable. It's like that. It's pre the natural beauty wave. Right. 2006, 2004. His mind is there. Oh, yeah. OK. That's fair. OK, cool, cool, cool. So Terry's a five damage. No. Oh, shit. Leader. What? Mm hmm. So we need no, no, no. They're leader. Oh, so this this guy needs a name. Who can give me a name for this this person? I'm not going to do it. Then again, anybody. And again, it is. He looks like a Finnegan. He does. It's mostly because he's a ginger wearing green. You know, there's other reasons.

I'm allowed to. I'm Irish. I could I could say those things. So I'm Irish to the ancestry test. Come on. Voice. OK, so two great sword swings at runes. Oh. Mm hmm. Oh, two great man. A lot of people roll in sevens and I like it. Oh, man. And one more. Oh, holy shit. Oh, no. All right. I'm here already. How close to town are we? We're right outside. I mean, you're you're a decent distance away, is what I said. But like it's so we need to do the thing where we see if that is on the table. Maybe someone could call for the town guard. Oh, that's a six. That's going to be on the table.

Oh, shit. That's going to be on the table. Can someone cut that and then make like put a beat behind it and then do do do do do do do do do do. That's going to be the table. We. Turn the tide, in addition to standard critical hit damage to your target, you gain combat advantage against all enemies on the battlefield until the end of your next turn. Goddamn it, again. OK. All right. So this is damage. I appreciate that. So he's too strong. Finnegan's too strong. What are you OK? That could have been way worse. That's 14. Mm hmm. That's like all my I have to hit points left.

Hey, guys, maybe we should run. Maybe we should run again because I'm just saying I have to hit points. I can I can I can. Terry, bring you I can bring you back to respectable levels. OK. All right. A. Caring thug. Is he caring? Does he care? That's nice of him. He's going to walk past ruins. He's going to walk past ruins. It's like, hey, man, sorry about that, buddy. And then go to Terry and Terry in the face. It's just business, you know, racism and all. So you're a scary demon thing. It's fine. You know, you're you're an abomination. You know how it is. So normal attack against Terry.

That'll hit normal attack once again. Doo doo doo. Jesus Christ. There's any of the songs we should leave. Oh, damage. To damage. OK, so that those could be worse. Oh, shit. That'll be enough to down Terry. Oh, no. He's not dead, but he is unconscious. Petrichor. All right. A couple of things. Petrichor is Petrichor was probably pretty far ahead of everybody where they were running, so he's going to like, what is going to see Terry slowing down? Everybody started getting this huge fight all of a sudden. God. All right. We got you. He's going to watch Terry go down.

Everybody's going to get hurt. All right. That's enough. He's going to put his fingers in his mouth and he's going to do the kind of a thing. Dog, dog, get help. He's just going to point back to town. Now, that may or may not turn out the way we want it to turn out. He's going to try. That's not his action, though. That's just a quick little gesture. What his action is, he's going to say, God. All right, fuck. And he's going to he's going to throw his staff to the ground. He's going to kneel down and he's going to put his palms straight onto the ground and and dig his fingers, his claws kind of into the dirt and whatever he's going to be whispering, chanting something.

And he's going to cast Entangle, which is going to start right above the square where runes is. And it's going to be a 20 foot square. And it's going to restrain everybody. All right. So they they need to get a saving throw versus their strength or they are restrained. All of that ground right there is. Difficult terrain, difficult terrain. Yeah. Got it. So let's do. Yeah, shit. Let's give you a string, a saving throw. Caring thug is first. Oh, get fucked. Oh. Nice, but who cares for caring thug? Oh, not us. This is happy thug. Oh, he's happy. Happy about that. He's like, oh, man, look at all these really cool branches, guys.

They're hugging me. 13, he matched the strength throw. Do you see 13? It says, oh, well, then the leader is still Finnegan is still well, he's going to begin again very soon. So so you're going to see vines and and just roots and all sorts of things start creeping out of the ground and grabbing onto these folks and trying their best to grab everybody. And and they're going to be a couple of them, at least, are going to be restrained. Which is great for fighting. I got a thing for that. Hold on. There's incapacitated, paralyzed, invisible, petrified, prone, restrained.

Wow. Wow. That that screen is actually pretty intense. I see why it took you so long. Yeah, it's it's a little there's there's lots. If you go to your conditions tab near the top, there's. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. And considering D&D 5E has like five different you can't moves like it's a little difficult. Also, it's not in alphabetical order. Yeah, what is that displeases me? I dislike it. I think it's like the most common ones up top and then like. Yeah, I don't know. All right. That leads us to Dog. Now you did tell Dog to go. But. Will dog listen? Please. Dog was kicked.

Dogs got cortisol going through his or her or system. Look at those eyes. The eyes of a killer. Can you do me a favor? Give me a D6 and on anything but a one or two, she's going to run back to town. D6. Oh, OK. Good stuff. Good stuff. Good stuff. Dog is going to defend runes. No, Terry, probably because Terry's down much of licking, licking. So let's run up here and attack. Let's attack that thug. Yeah. So biting. Oh, shit. 20. Let's go, dog. Oh, eight damage dogs not playing around. I want dog to get a kill. Yeah, I mean, dudes restrained. To Miki. All right. What? What's so cool?

It was so cute. I could. Uh, oh, Miki, Philadelphia, let's go. Oh, yeah, that's her name for sure. That's the Korean bootleg of the little little wolf girl. There definitely is one. Yeah. Yeah. You guys seen the Korean ripoff of Amazing Tales of Gumball? Oh, no. So accurate to gumball like to such a much more insulting degree than you'd imagine, because it's literally like a color swap, but it's all the same style. It's all the same. Anyway, I'm sorry. It's it's well done ripoff, and that almost makes it worse. Look it up. OK, so. In Tamika's view, K'Nan goes back, make sure back up, because all these guys and then all of a sudden shit gets real, real like Terry goes down, dog starts like viciously attacking someone and then runes is.

Bloodied, and that probably brings red to Tamika's eyes, seeing runes get hit. No runes, and then Tamika puts out her hands and at first it's like this crazy looking orb comes out, but then it starts like you could hear it sizzling as it passes by K'Nan K'Nan, you can hear it sizzling next to your ear and then runes. You could hear it, too, and it forms into this like bright green sizzling orb, and I'm going to do acid splash. Oh, no. And I'm going to attack Finnigan and the guy next to him. And I'm also going to do Tides of Chaos, so I get advantage on this role.

But here's the thing, Jason, you could say if I'm casting level one, which I'm not, but anytime I cast a level one spell during this encounter, you could have me roll on the wild magic table because I'm doing Tides of Chaos. I think we should save that for your darkest hour, because at that point, pull the pin on the grenade. Fuck it. Like, let's see what I mean. Yeah. Right now, this is just a cantrip I'm doing so. Totally. But I get advantage attacking these fellas. Let's do it. OK, please hold. Oh, they have a oh, it's a deck saving throw. They have to beat twelve, so I guess they get disadvantage.

Yeah, because they're hanging on. Oh yeah, they're oh, they're restrained. Yeah, it's such because it doesn't it doesn't stack. It's only one time. I shouldn't have used Tides of Chaos, whatever. I like it. If you're restrained, I feel like they should automatically fail. That's just me, though. Whatevs. They can wiggle away. You're the boss. Saving throw with disadvantage. Ha ha. Oh, ten. Yeah. All three of these guys, right? I just you. Oh, just two. Just the two thugs. Yeah. Yeah. Got it. Got it. Finnegan and Finnegan and Karen. Yeah. Then again, and Karen got it. Sorry.

Sorry. Oh, it's not just a shit to be within five feet of each other. Sorry. I'm going to roll that again because he doesn't have disadvantage. He he wasn't. Yes, he does. Tides of Chaos. Oh, shit. Yes. Sorry. Sorry, I forgot. I thought it was because of the restraint. Well, yeah, they both fail. Yeah. OK, the most. To face action, just. Well, oh. Six damage. Oh, oh, that's so satisfying to watch that. Whoo. So as it goes by over runes, his shoulder, probably it splits and you could hear it as it goes in two different directions. Probably it's a surround sound for runes on both ears as it goes.

You get my bloody nose. And then Jesus. I got it. It's time for death saving throw for Terry. Oh, I don't like it. With advantage because Doggy is giving him kisses. Yes. Is that how that works? Oh, that's how death works at all. I think that's how dogs work. Oh, OK. He cried and a single tear fell down and landed on Terry's head. That's the end of a Care Bears movie right there. Oh, shit. That's who I guess. Yeah, all of it. All the troops. All right. Here we go. A one. Oh, so that is one failure, guys. This is a cavalier thug. I hate to do this. No, then don't. And the leader thug is going to target dog.

No. Oh, another person we hate. He's so cavalier about it, too. That's the thing. He's he just doesn't work like he's just like, well, going to kick a dog like that's how he said it, like he like he. Totally. Here we go. Oh, that's going to miss one more. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Two nines. The world protected dog. Yes. Oh, it should. And then I imagine dogs going to spin around and give the look. OK, now we're in round two. It said round two before. Hold up. We got to reroll everybody. Did it? No. Oh, no, no. I have to do it manually. Here we go. Oh, shit. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, what just happened? Everyone rolled kind of poorly, so I did. But the archer does not need to be here. Hold on. Remove from combat. It's the archer's death. So good. Oh, no. He did so good. Good. Yeah. Saving throw. Come on, Tare Bear. Dang it. There we go. OK. Yes. I reverse my head for a second. I don't know why. Ruins, you are up. All right. I'm not in a great place here. So I think what Rose is going to do is he's going to turn to the caring thug and take a swipe at him with his quarterstaff with advantage because dog dog. Oh, yeah, 19 will hit. Definitely. 19 will hit.

OK, so then I go. Quarterstaff damage, like six damage, damage, and then unarmed attack. That'll kill him. Do this right this time. OK, well, you can still I guess I think you can still on strike a different target. Yeah, just fucking get Finnegan in the face. Yeah, I did with Tobin. Let me. Hell, yeah. Unarmed a strike on Finnegan. Let's attack. Thank you. Normal. Oh, man. Starting to work out. 22 will. Yeah, definitely hit Finnegan. A normal attack on him. A god can bleed. Six damage, six damage. And then I'd like to shift back, please. I don't know if that's something that I get in trouble for.

You get two attacks of advantage. Yeah, attacks of opportunity. Two or one because she doesn't leave the other guy's zone. That's true. I don't. I only leave Finnegan. Right. Yeah, just one. OK, do you want Finnegan swinging at you, though? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Here's the only you like. Otherwise, they're going to get advantage on me because they're going to surround me. I don't want to be that guy, but all three thugs are going dead last and one of them is actually dead. So and OK, and they've got disadvantage from here. Yeah. Yeah. And what? Yeah. One died tangled in vines.

So that's true. Oh, they're wrapping around his neck as he's like, Oh, yeah. He just looks like, yeah, kind of look backwards and goes, oh, and just kills him. Tamika. OK, so the only one close enough is Kanan and Kanan's going to hear Tamika go, I don't know how I did that. But and look at her hands. Turns around. What? That was meant to be a healing smell. I just I'm going to do it again. Oh, yeah. So going to do it again. They have to do Finnegan and the guy next to runes. Got it. And the one next to runes, I guess, is still disadvantaged because it's in the zone, but not Finnegan this time.

Dex, a Dex save 12. Who? Who? Oh, shit. Wow. Well, didn't go as well. They still come in this time. Well, just heard the noise. Yeah, let's see here. Dex save. This is Finnegan. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, 14. Shit. Yeah, that was all over the place. Yeah, that's OK. So Kanan hears, I don't know how he did that. And then she puts up her hands again and then it just kind of like. Goes out and then like does this sad arc to the ground. It's because you tried to go again so soon after you got to Gatorade or something and replenish those electrolytes. Petrichor. All right. It's like semen is what I'm saying.

It's like a joke. Like, yeah, always lead Dasparin with a jizz joke. Yes, yes, yes. It's it's in my rider. Yeah, it's. Yeah, so this this that came over and tried to kick dog Petrichor twice, a little bit annoyed that dog didn't get the command. Please go get some help. I find you helping Terry. Thanks, buddy. Listen, you're brave. And then this comes over, tries to kick. He's going to be like, oh, no, you don't. And he's going to take his chakram. He's going to pull it right off of his belt and he's going to whip it at him. He said shotgun. Well, that's chakram.

That's what I would do if someone came at my dog. I don't have a shot. Fair. And I would buy a shotgun for them. Yeah. And you know, I did this. I did this intro and I get a little bonus there. Is that an advantage bonus? I am going to say for the rest of this combat, anything you do has advantage because this is like the third time you've had to do three or four episodes. You poor, poor man. I think I even did one episode that never made its life. Yes, you did. Yes. All right. God. Oh, Jesus. OK, so 20. That's pretty good. And swinging that I didn't even ask. Oh, who?

Don't kick her. Yeah, dog kicker. Who else? Dog kicker. Got it. That makes total sense. You're right. You're right. Oh, oh, 12 damage. Oh. Oh, shit. Oh, now it looks like he's wearing pretty lipstick. He's very bad at putting it on. Yeah. And we'll never know what that means. Only people who watch on Twitch. Yeah. Well, I guess you got to show up every Saturday at seven p.m. Eastern, four p.m. Pacific. He's going to throw the shock room. And as it as it goes, he's going to hopefully be able to pick this thing up because he's going to be right next to him and he's ready for a fight.

Oh, yeah. I imagine the guys like, fuck like that. Like 12 damages is more than half his health. Oh, you know what I'm going to do? I'm actually going to go right above him so that dogs on the other side of them. Yes. Yeah. I can see where you were. You tried to make it look like you peed in that square. You claimed it as your own. Yeah. Well, we'll figure it out later. We're going to work. You know what? Mark's territory. Sometimes those are just especially when attacked. There's some slime mold left behind. Oh, OK. Modest Archer is going to fire an arrow at runes.

No, please. Normal. Whoa. Yes. 18 hits. Damn. Plus four. Fuck you. They're really good at that one thing. Yeah, I needed them to not be good at it, though. Say I'm down. Oh, shit. That was a low roll, too. OK, well, I'm lucky that it was a low roll, so I'm not dead, but I'm down. Keenan, I'm coming. I mean, I couldn't I couldn't get there. And then you told me not to step backwards. You told me. No, I said, go ahead. OK, I'm going to take a nap. You guys, you guys keep fighting. Dog's turn. Oh, that means dog gets advantage. He's going to go for the throat, just bite, just fucking bite, bite, bite. 17 will do it.

Good girl. Seven. Damn, that's some solid damage. I really isn't playing around. How are you getting fucking kicked, man? Like that's that I have to imagine for dog like that had to be so out of the realm of possibility. I don't believe that dog has ever been struck. So like it had to be like shock the first time. It's like, what the fuck that can happen? Like it just it's the first time she's ever felt pain. Oh, probably. Yeah. So now she's got a taste for human flesh. So good thing most of us are humans. Yeah, exactly. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Everyone adopts the full plate thing.

Can I have to? And non friend. No, I believe it. Please, I can only delicious. No, please remember. I think with that grumpy archer is going to fire an arrow at dog. Oh, what? Oh, no. Oh, not that is going to hit dog. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a dog that's. We'll almost down dog. Oh, OK. Oh, look at the little blood splotch on the. Oh, I'm sorry that I have to wake up our tank. I'm sorry. Oh, oh. Shit. Wise night's going to move over here to petrichor. There's a big ass arrow sticking at a dog, it's like a dog's fun. Oh, what's his movement?

It is. Oh, shit. It is. 30, just 30. So wait, he could only go one down from that. Oh, shit. Well, that's fine. You could still hit petrichor. It's still hit, but. Mm hmm. But now a dog can hit him, too. So that's true. So two attacks. Here we go against petrichor. Whoa. 14. A let did 14 hits. OK, and. He's just 20, obviously, 20 damage, 112. Damage to seven. Oh, really? That's not good. You're still around, right? Nope. Oh, he's unconscious now. OK, OK. It's still anyone's game. And on fix it. I run up to runes. And I whisper a prayer, please fucking work. And I just put my hands on runes is where the mouth is, right?

Where runs his mouth is. And I probably do I feel the shape of it or what does it feel like? He kind of has like a beak like protrusion on that part of his face. He's very owl shaped because owls scare me. So I went with owl. OK, that kind of vibe. He just it's like trying to shove magic down his gullet. But he remembers there's no gullet there. It's just like the shape. So then he remembers what the chest. Yeah. Ruins remembers the what or cannot remember what the conversation or like the the exposition where we learned about how runes eats. And so he moves his hands to the chest areas.

Oh, that's nice. And so runs his chest is going to open up and fight down on. They have really good practical effects like in. Yeah, like in the thing like it's just it's just like you just recreate that scene because it was pretty cool. I only have level one spell slots, but I'm going to heal you as best I can. OK, I appreciate you. And I have to roll healing. Here we go, baby. Big rolls, big nine is not bad. Nine is good. I like having nine points. That's way better than less than nine. It's true. Yeah, I can't do anything else. I'm done. That's pretty fucking good, though.

Nothing. Hmm. No bonus actions or anything? No, I'm not. Yes, I'm very limited. I learned warlocks, a little warlocks. We don't get a lot of bonus actions. A lot of reaction. Sorry, you have normal and like the one or two bonus stuff. This thug is going to try and hit dog. No. So I don't know if dog is lucky enough to escape again. But does not make me happy. For the record, that will do damage and that will knock dog unconscious. And we are dropping. Yeah. So we have. A happy thug is next, who is going to try and strike in on. You would get down. Oh, fuck both of those do damage.

Oh. Oh, that's not bad. Eight, it's not terrible. Yeah, that's for HP. No big deal. That brings us to the end of the round, everybody. Oh, no, it's time to reroll. Oh, oh, no. Well, you're kidding. Oh, oh, no. TPK, let's go. New characters. Yeah. No one's dead yet. Not yet. Tamika, you know what you have to do? I'm just banking on. I'm hoping that we all go down and this is exactly what they wanted. And we wake up tied in that cave. There's a good chance including the racist, but like. I don't know if they'll finish this off. I mean, I think maybe at least there's a way out.

We'll see. Oh, God. Modest Archer, here we go. You know what? She's going to be a cunt and she is going to try and fire at runes on the ground. So get disadvantage, but make sure that that that fucking owl creature doesn't stand up against soups racist. But again, disadvantage because you're on the ground. Oh, well, no, no. 15. OK. Cavalier thug, having beaten this dog down. Is going to move on over to this this dog woman. Is there some opportunity? No, there's no because everybody's unconscious. Everyone's unconscious. Yeah. So here we go. May's one. Oh. It doesn't hit right. 10, that's nothing.

No. Good. And that was 17. 17 will do it. OK. Six damage. Runes. Cool. This is awesome. Yeah, I have to be happy thug because I can't take an opportunity attack right now. Oh, OK. This could be great. It's going to be fine quarterstaff. So we're going to do attack. Normal. Oh, OK. I was going to say you get a plus two because he's restrained. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. He's restrained. I can roll again. Oh, that's better. Yeah, that's way better. Let's go with that 16. Yeah. OK, cool, cool. Yeah. And then a normal attack. Six damage. And then I'm going to use my unarmed strike. All right.

That one. Oh, wait. But again, because. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so wait. Hold on. The 10, the 10 hits, because again, you get a plus two. Oh, when you so when you roll attack, it'll ask you if there's situational bonuses. You could put in plus two right there. Yeah. So give me damage on that one. Damage roll. Nothing like that, right? OK. Oh, five. Oh, five. Oh. He's a little bloody. He's not happy about that one. Good. Grumpy Archer. I think we're going to have to fire at runes who keeps getting up. Hold on to your butts. Oh, my God. Got me. Oh, hey. Oh, you have one point. Oh, OK.

All right. Wise Knight. Hmm. I mean, a good leader would walk away from the middle of a fight and just. Oh, yeah. And not do observe. Yeah. Take note. As a leader, I know I wouldn't walk away from this. Absolutely. Maybe spit before you walk away. Right. Yeah. So he's over this. Right. So do you guys I'm going to give you guys a choice. Do you guys recall way back when when Bree won our first trivia thing? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. OK. And then we switched systems and kind of took away all those points that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So here's what's going to happen. I'm going to give you.

The choice of one of three. Situational bonuses, let's call them. OK. So with this fight seemingly well in hand. Finnegan can walk away and just be like, maybe back at the cave, these fucking losers, you know, something like that, because Finnegan got hit and Finnegan doesn't like that. That's bonus number one, if you choose that. OK. Bonus number two is we. Did we carry over the items you had in cortex to these characters? Item for item? I think so. I think so. I didn't add them, but like I OK. So there were healing potions. Oh, yes. Oh, I don't have this. I was looking for them.

I did not have any. So here's what we're going to do to. They would translate to two superior healing potions. And we can place those randomly. On members of the group, I know that Dog had some would had one in dog did have one in the little backpacks. OK, if we if we chose that just to ask, would we include the people who are already down in that mixture? Yes. OK. All right. So that's two. It's good to know. But again, you can grab it out of there that, you know. Yeah. Yeah. We know they have it. Right. And third, we roll. A six sided die, each side representing a member of the party.

And then we roll to the eight, and that's how much they are healed by. Oh, shit. Talk it out amongst yourselves. Everybody in the chat, what would you choose? Tell everybody how they're wrong. One in three seem like the sexiest ones to me. I was going to say two and three, but yeah, I can see why one for sure. Getting him off the field. There's a chance that it could be on like, well, be no one's on dog. And then it's like there's a chance that it could be on like Terry or something or petrichor who's away from anyone. So we would have to get to petrichor, get the healing potion and then get it to someone versus instant healing or making Finnegan walk away.

Yeah, I agree. Then one in three are definitely top. That's my reasoning. We've still got five people on the board that are enemies. Yeah, I really like one. I think I think Finnegan walking away, like, let's choose the roleplay one that makes the most sense. Mm hmm. Because he downed the two enemies in front of him and now he's out of the vines and I was just like, I'm over this. Let's be real. What he sees standing right now is two bleeding motherfuckers and then a little wolf girl. So like and she is literally little. So yeah, she's four foot ten. No, no.

You're going to say, look at those two wounded ones in this animu over here. I'm out of here. Exactly. I mean, so. It is the story. It is that if there's any arrogance to these people at all, which there clearly is. Yeah. You mean an air of superiority? Maybe that's the kind of that's the kind of flex, the kind of dumbass flex that that somebody would do like that. Yeah. That seems like an O'Doyle rules kind of thing. Yeah, I get a real O'Doyle vibe from these guys. So like, yeah. OK. All right. Then the decision. So that that's probably good because it was his turn and the odds of him missing.

So, yeah, no Finnegan rules. And then he's going to like he's he will spit. He's going to spit on dog. All right. Yeah. Like fucking. OK, fine. Until petrichor finds out. And then think about kicking and then just like and then just walking away. So we're going to remove Finnegan. These assholes are so racist that not only do they like non-human, do they hate non-humans, hate dogs. No, you're not human. So like to them, to them. It's probably true. Yeah. To them, it's like, oh, you trained your dog to hate humans. That's it. That's how these fucking idiots would be like.

You know what I mean? It's like, of course, you'd have a foreign breed like some fucking like some, you know. Well, fine. Dog is going to give a death saving throw from the Smith. Twenty, well, it's his turn being it's her turn. Twenty, twenty, twenty. Let's go. Oh, that's a success. We'll take it. Good answer. Good answer. Then, Terry. Oh, that's two death saving throws for Terry. Come on, man. Happy Thug. Happy Thug is going to give a swing to both runes and cannot. So runes foist both. That's some bragging rights, though. Oh, that ain't going to hit runes. Now, can on.

I can't go down. I cannot go down, please. Oh, that was almost 18, baby. All right. That's my friend. We're getting lucky tonight, fellas. Yeah. Can on. I need to go heal. OK, do you want my last heal runes? And then I try and move to stabilize the downed team members. I if you asked runes, he would say no. He would like you to raise one of the down team members. I can't move, though, because I got it. I'm Terry's right behind you. You could take a chance. If you feel extra lucky, like. Terry's Terry's on his second is their death saving throw. Yeah, that, too. Oh, that's a good point, too.

But mostly I'm thinking like if this guy can stand up and like fire a crossbow at some of these archers or. Help stabilize dog like whatever. OK. Yeah. You would be an extra body on our side right now. Don't make me regret this, Terry. I was not whispers to himself as he turns around and puts the hands on the on the chest. My last level one. Oh, boy. That's not that night again. Nine, baby, nine. And I look at I look at Terry and I tell him. Help dog and the tree now. And I can't pick up my hands off. So like I imagine his like nose is like. Bleeding into it, like he's kind of shocked, it's bleeding into a soul patch, he's like like he's never been fucking hit like that before.

Right. So like he's I hate that now we know he has a soul patch. I wish we had known. So well, here's the thing. Maybe getting maybe getting blood in it like that'll be the the catalyst, he's like, I got to clean my life up. Like, I can't get the man. He's gotten soup in it enough times that he knows. He knows what he's done. Yeah, that has to happen. Adventures a lot. OK, so man to Mika. OK, so. Runes has gone down in this round and then gone back up and then. Dog was taken down and Patrick was taken down. Uh, to me, it's going to see red. And then you're going to see her like her hands are going to like.

Stretch out and her claws are going to extend and her eyes are going to like flash for a second and then turn red. And her nose is going to elongate and I'm going to use shifting feature. And she's going to take on this going for a Pinocchio thing for a second. And I was like, that is not intimidating. It's going to be like it's going to become like a wolf snout for a moment. Or it is not for a moment. And I'm going to gain four temporary hit points. And then her canines are going to extend over her lips, too. And she wants to run to ruins, but this guy just took a swipe at her and she's going to turn to him with her claws extended.

And she's going to growl at him. I can't wait to fucking taste your blood. And then roll an intimidation check. And OK, and no one's probably ever seen this except runes. Her shifting feature. That's some American werewolf in London. That's my picture. I needed to know which practical effects I had to be picturing in my head. It was practical. No CG. Yes, yes, yes. It wasn't it wasn't done in like modern times. This doesn't look too good. I'll also accept the much less celebrated Jack Nicholson's wolf. Oh, I need to watch more werewolf movies, honestly. Ginger snaps.

I like I like me some ginger snaps. It's got some good ones. So. Oh, it was almost a 20, but intimidate check. I apologize for the sound. They come to get the dog kickers. That's the that's fair. Yeah, they should. They're gone now. So everyone out there, if you'd like to see less dog kicking, please donate to our Patreon. I'll put that as some sort of suggestion that in the future for every for every ten dollars we make during this episode, dog gets another five hit points just throwing that out there. OK, seriously, will you hold that? Because if you hold to that, I will.

I will be in the chat counting. I will. All right, guys. You heard him. You heard him. Ten bucks, five hit points for the dog. Saying, please. I wrote down how much the kick that the patient started this episode. It started at the start. So if any of you backed us during this episode, fantastic. It's true. It's retroactive. So I'm going to say that that twelve is like, it's like, yeah, but you're still small, like, you know what I mean? Like, but he's not taking it seriously. Exactly. Right. But like. You're intimidating, like Wolverine. People don't take you seriously at first because you start ripping motherfuckers apart.

Right. Exactly. So you just a little Canadian, he's going to say. And then like, you got to. Yeah. Petrichor. I'm I'm totally unconscious. I need a death saving throw. What do I do? I've never done one before. I've never died. What? Wow. Hmm. I could be less fair to you. Yeah. Can I get so if you hover over in the middle of your main page, it says death saves and you click on that. I got it right there. Yeah. Done. Yeah. With advantage, right? Because everything I'm doing, he's doing. You're right. I am mistaken. I am mistaken. Good intro. Jasper gets to. G F Y S third intro, technically fourth intro.

Jasper, let's drop that to and take a 15. How about that? I love it. That's good stuff. All right. Round four. I have to clear and roll for everyone again. Holy shit. Those archers, man. Oh, those bitches. OK, well. Terry's going to save us all. I know it. Grumpy Archer is going to fire at Kenan. What's that? Fuck. Leave me alone. Normal swing. Here we go. I know. I fucking know. I felt it. You got to see if it's a grid on the table. Jesus. All right. Well, let's see what we're all about here. Eleven. Triple damage. Knockout blow. In addition to standard critical hit damage, you knock the target unconscious.

A constitution saved with a DC of 10 ends this effect. If the target takes damage, this also ends the effect. I don't think, though, that's going to be a problem because I only got four. You are very much unconscious either way. I could be dangerously dead if you get. What do you need? Oh, shit. Twenty. Twenty one damage will kill me outright. OK, I don't think. I don't think. All right. Well, don't say that because like. OK, now it's just not nice. Stop that negative five slash zero. I'm OK. Just a minute. You are. Hey, can we get rid of Finnegan's bar at the top of the screen?

Oh, yeah. You know what? You're right. It's pretty intimidating. I'm not going to lie. It's not. We just did some good damage, though. We did. Yeah. I only hit him once, so I feel pretty good about what was done. Yeah. Yeah, I just need to. OK, so Terry's up, by the way. He sees me just get fucking pelted by an arrow. You go, shit. He runs away. No, Terry, find out Terry's a coward. Terry, please help the others. Shit. So, hmm. Fuck it, you know what? Terry's got one good arm and he is going to fire his his big fucking awkward crossbow at. At the let's that's grumpy grumpy archer, let's fucking do it, so.

Oh, man, he's only got like a plus one, I think. Yeah. So D 20 plus one. Hey, 14 will hit. Yes. Now, while he doesn't have a big bonus to hit, this thing is a double handed crossbow. It is a big fucker. So what happened? Yeah. So it's like the recoil is going to break his other arm, probably. Oh, no. So this would be 2D six plus three. Not bad. Respect. Oh, massive respect. Wow. 14 damage. That'll double kill her. Yeah. She's going to roll the seven or the one. Yeah. Yeah. So she is damage. Fuck you, grumpy bitch. This like I imagine this goes right through her, like just like, oh, like just look down for a minute and just don't fade away.

Jean, quicken the dead. Last fight. Uh, it was Jean Hackman in the quick of the dead. Yeah, he was the boss of the whole thing. Oh, man, I got to watch the quick of the dead. I, I remember him in Unforgiven. That's the. They came unforgivens newer, right? It came out a little bit after. Yeah, that was like 96 or something. It's still like the same. He wore the same costume, probably. Oh, probably. It was probably like a nod to that. I, I think Clint Eastwood's really overrated. That's just me, though. Jean Hackman's the man. I like Gene Hackman. Yeah. Sadly, he's the best Lex Luther ever put to screen.

Hey. Oh, it's a low bar. We're going to fire at runes with this longbow. No, no. One T four. That will indeed hit. I have one hit point, so. Oh, well, then let's just save time. Because it won't be enough to kill you, obviously, but yeah. OK, cool. Danika, I'm going to take a nap. It's OK, we're tired. We did a lot of work. It's hard to hear. Backs hurt from. Yeah, that's. It's not what's going on. I play Overwatch, too. I know that it's more like putting out fires than carrying. It's like, oh, my God, six year old mean. Everything is falling apart. Jason, I have to ask you something, because this is a DM call.

I googled it, but it's up to the DM. So I have long tooth shifting strike and it says as a bonus action, I could take a strike with a claw. And then online it was like. You can't convert a bonus action spell and then some DM say it's OK to convert a bonus action. A physical attack to a standard action and then use a bonus action. So essentially I want to do two strikes. Well, go for it. Each claw. That was you wasted an action to shift. Yeah. Other DMS can kiss my ass. Go for it. OK, so I two strikes with claws. That's what Tamika wants to do. And I'm guessing this dickhead in front of you.

Yes. Yes. We're going to call him dog kicking Derek. That is a dog food in a minute. Dkd. Yeah. Oh, no. OK, that one is OK. That second one will hit. Yes. Yes. Cool. Cool. Cool. So he dodges right claw and then doesn't see left claw coming up. It's a up hand one. It's because you're so small. That's the thing. It wasn't even field is vision. That's all. No. Well, oh, my fucking God. You will not believe me. He has three health. Yes. This guy has three health. Apply damage. Boom. Fucking dead. OK, so to me, it was meant to be on his leg. How you think that can cause any bleeds out like.

You're just a little. Oh, God. And then to me, it turns to a cookie. Oh, so we got that bloodied hands, turns and looks at the other guy and just snarls at them. The one next to Rin's. Hot. Well, he's standing over two dead guys that he's killed at least once or twice each, like he's like, you say, come at me, tiny wolf. Like he didn't see like he, you know, he don't know, you know, I get a death saving throw, please. Yeah, you got it. Be kind to me. 20 high rolls, baby high rolls. I don't get advantage on this because it's not an attack. Oh, come on. My patron really wants my soul.

Whatever to collect. Celestial being is like, hey, you know how you do all that bad shit? It is time, bro. I think it's Peter Stormare. Peter Stormare. Yes. Is that strangely enough? It's not Peter Stormare who played the devil in Constantine. It's Peter. It's Peter Stormare who is an Armageddon. He's the Russian astronaut. Peter Stormare. Oh, weird. I fucking love Armageddon. Unabarantly. Is this Google Vans? Yeah. Bree, we got to watch Armageddon. I haven't seen it. Yeah, we need to watch it. What's the one with the lawyer? Who is the devil? Which one's that? Super 90s movie.

That was advocate. That's the advocate baby. Yeah, I thought of that for a second. Then I remembered that was the same guy. That's a very different dude. That is the best Al Pacino role ever. Come at me for sure. No, no, I agree. I agree. Oh, yeah. 100% of the monologue at the end. Oh, my God. There's no scenery left. He ate it. It's gone. It's delicious. I'm a fan of man. God, it's so good. Sorry. Go watch Devil's Advocate. Stop this. Go, go. I mean, wait, we're almost done. I'm sorry. If you leave, I'll kill the dog. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Metro, can I get a saving throw, please?

A death saving throw. Yes, you can. That's not me. I didn't do that. Oh, Jesus. OK, well, OK, well. What good would that be? Oh, Jesus. Can I get a death saving throw? I talked over Jasper's turn because I thought you said runes the first time. I'm so sorry. That's OK. He's a man. I get it. Stop it. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. Don't put that on me. You got upset when I put something on you in the last games. Like, oh, I accidentally rolled to take the first one. Oh, what was the first one? Yeah, exactly. Brogan. I think the first one was the 19, but that's fine.

I can't be sure. Because when you open it, it's the 19 first. Hey, I'll take a 17. It's fine. That's fine. As long as it's yeah. Dog, if anyone else does that dumb thing. Is it just Terry and I? Yeah. Oh, shit. The saviors. Well, Terry just asked a motherfucker a second ago, so I feel good with him on my team. It's like now I got to reload and I don't know how. So hold on. Oh, no. This is like falling with his teeth. Jesus, dog already has. OK, so I rolled one deaths. Yeah, one one. So here we go. OK, two. That's a that's a success. And happy thug, I guess, is going to move over here.

But OK. OK, let's see. You are covered in a small amount of blood. But. Terry just assassinated. So you know what? Let's flip a coin. One, it's to make it to its Terry. Let's do it. Oh, wants to make it crazy. Does he pass getting to me? Um, no, it's within his sphere, so like, you know. Yeah. OK, two mace strikes. Here we go. One. Uh huh. This is. Oh, no. And it's 14. So it's got to meet it. Both are 14. Yeah, those hit. I don't like that rule anymore. 14. I'm sorry. Four, four, four. No, not sorry. They hit damage to fours. Jesus. OK, so to make us going to take eight. Demage.

Which leaves you with four health. But. And that is the end of the round going into round five, everybody. Bri, I know you got to go. Yeah, but it's fine. Rolling for everybody. Petrichor and Kanan are starting things off to death saving throws, please, Petrichor first to do to do to do. Wait, what? What is it? Yes. Oh my God. Why do you keep rolling that? I don't mean to wait. Is that your third way? That's his that's a second fail. It's a second failure. Yeah, he keeps going. Yeah, he keeps going. He has either three wins or three fails. Yes. So stop rolling sixes.

I agree. Can on you are up this will. You got one fail under your belt so far. Oh, OK. Yes, good. Big money, no whammies. Excellent. Happy thug is going to swing off shit. Fuck, I'm going to swing it to Mika. No. Oh, dang it. That's a wrap. I'm doing damage will knock out. That's a wrap. Now Jason has to finish this battle fighting himself. Yes. So at least we all get to witness that. That's interesting. Standing. Yeah. So. Unless you want him to run with Terry, run. Uh, physically, he couldn't anyway. So, yeah, he wouldn't run. I don't think he would run a dog. OK, what are we at with dog shit to one successful failure?

Two. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. That was one. Whoo. I that's that's three successes. Yeah. OK, that's three successes, I think. Yeah. So he's stabilized. Dog is stabilized. Dog is not dead. Hey, everyone, she's OK. She's fine. Dog will live. Oh, I don't like the dead popping up. What is it? Yeah, there's a little glitch in there. OK, Tamika, can I get a death saving throw, please? You know, it's waiting to come back to life. Let's go. Oh, man. If you roll a 20, that'd be keen. You do not need to roll death. I'll let me change to zero. OK, there you go. Zero. Oh, oh, that is a four.

It's one strike. Oh, God. That brings up runes. Can I get a death saving throw, please? What are you at? I have one success so far. OK, good. Because it reset when. Oh, OK. All right. Two success. 17 is good. That brings up Terry. Fuck you. This motherfucker, Terry. Come on, Terry. You can't you can't fire. But it's right next to him. So if he has like a dagger or something, he could stab it in his leg. He does have a sword. It's just his bad hand. So like. Would that be disadvantage? Probably. I'm. I'm going to say yes. Yeah. I hate being fair. I do, too. It's not my nature.

Oh, he's still fucking hits, though. Let's go, Terry. So he's going to take this wild arcing swing and Jesus. That's six damage. Oh, whoa. Almost, almost, almost kills this fucking guy. So just like slash his face, it's like motherfucker, like like totally gets the one armed guy hit me. Modest Archer. I guess it's going to fire on Terry, that's the only thing left, right? Like, yeah, again, it's still down. Who what? No, he's still laying down. No, he's still OK. Oh, the dog. He had to. The archer was laying down, I think, or she said, right? Why? Or who was laying down?

The answer wasn't laying down. Terry was laying down. No, no, no, no. I heard. That's why she got negative last turn. Yeah. And oh, my God. That's a crit. The odds of Terry standing at the end of this are not great. So Jesus. OK, well, see if that's on the crit table. It is not on the crit table. That's OK. Small miracles. That's. That's. That will knock Terry out. And it's going to catch Terry right up here in the collarbone, and he's going to like try and swipe at it with his with with his bad hand and just like go down like the pain is going to be too much for him.

And Terry, you went out like Boromir, though you did. You're not like Boromir like. Before he blacks out, Happy Thug is going to grab both his ankle and Tamika's and start dragging them away. They will almost certainly take you back to the cave. And I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night and pick things up there. OK, guys, this is bad. This is very bad. There there is a few things working with us, but I don't think I want to say it while we're still in the episode. Yeah. So I have some thoughts of things that could go our way. But this is too good an ending.

So let's end it here. Yeah, we'll talk. But I feel so bad. What a terrible leader I put us in. This is a terrible leader. You didn't get very bad. Wasn't you? Come on. OK, the practice fight went very poorly, but like this is different. There were a couple of nasty crits in there. Yeah, like I think we did very well. Only one of them survived. Like that's not bad to to to. Oh yeah. I guess he was still standing, but he was three. No, three. The Archer, three. Finnegan, Happy and Finnegan. Yeah. If you count Finnegan, he left. So I'm going to write here dog kicking Derek because dog kicking Derek.

Is alive. No, frustrating the two of the worst ones because Finnegan spit on the dog too. Oh, I know. That's literally the two worst ones to have lived. To make a kill dog kicking Derek because this is a happy. Oh, oh, you're right. Yeah, no. Yeah, it was conscientious. No. What was it? What was he? He's happy. Oh, the other guy was caring. Oh, caring. Lies. No, he was cavalier because he was cavalier. Cavalier, you're right. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. So that isn't dog kicking Derek. It's dog kicking Duncan. No, we've had no, I can't do that. Dog kicking, let's say. Drake. Oh, that's a terrible name.

I love it. Fucking awful. Guys. I think we're going to skip trivia stuff for the night, and I'm going to go ahead and let Jasper take us out after you. Good, sir. Why, thank you. That. Combat was a kick in the pants, but thanks for watching all of this and listen to all of us having so much fun. I'm going to remind you that you can watch episodes on Twitch for dungeons and randomness every Saturday before they're released on Sunday. Sunday evening. We've got monthly giveaways on Twitter. Please, again, go check out our Patreon Patreon.com/DAinDR. See you next time.