The Tower

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Bye mom. Thank you for tuning into the show. Of course, ad free versions of this episode and all our episodes are available on our Patreon for just a dollar a month. That kind of thing means the world and it helps us keep the lights on. Of course, if you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like, subscribe, comment and share do all that good algorithm stuff. And without further ado, let's get on with the day's episode. you know, genetically they were put there so they can be incapacitated and it wouldn't matter. Now you're like, no. (laughing) I mean, let's get a leg instead.

It's one of his advantages. - What's cool about this is, I mean, it's gonna have his movements, like, boom. One of his legs doesn't work. He's gonna have to like drag that other leg. Now he's got the tail to support him and stuff like that, so he's not gonna keel over, but you've just significantly impacted like his combat viability, however you want to put it. But more importantly, let's do that. Let's do that crit damage. Let's do that. - In my mind, she sliced through his Achilles tendon. - No, take my arm instead, no. - Critical hit damage. - No! - Kind of piercing.

- And then Leif reaches leg to like hold onto it. He's just like, ah! - Yeah, he can't pick stuff and the foot just goes, oh, that's so satisfying. (laughing) Watch that one spark go down, that's so nice. - Sadly, that really doesn't slow him down attack wise. - No, I know. - Yeah, it's like Starship Troopers, right? They can be incapacitated, but still attack. Anything else you want to just knock out of the park? - I mean, I think that's all I can do honestly, right now. - Lard. - Oh, shoot. - Oh, no, go back. - I forgot my sneak attack damage. Oh, wait. - Yeah, don't forget that.

- If I have it, yeah, if I have advantage, which I did. So damage, would that be also crit? I think that's just normal, correct? - I think all damage dice are double crit. - Okay, great. - Holy shit! (laughing) - Well then how about 25 more damage? - Okay, I didn't know you were gonna start rolling that much. Like, okay. I gave you a leg, okay? I could have did the arm. (laughing) - Love you. - That's where all his blood is. - Oh. - Nice. - Jesus, Larg? - Okay. - Get him, Larg, get him. - If you guys kill this thing before it gets a turn, I'm gonna be so upset. Just 'cause it's a dinosaur.

- I just think the thought of Larg fighting, like fist fighting this freaking dinosaur is so metal. (laughing) - He's got his little arms like locked in. (laughing) - So Larg will put a hand on Blevin's shoulder, just like, excuse me, and like push his way past him. - Of course, of course. - And then as soon as he gets bodily past him, just immediately just, ah, and rage. Like very polite up until that point. - Blevin's pretty cool anyway. That's too much energy. (laughing) - This guy is just way too here at that moment. And we're gonna do a, whoop, that's a attack roll.

Oh, we're gonna move, that's, we're gonna move here. So that's gonna be with advantage, yes? - Yes, it will. - All right, so we're gonna freak out. We're gonna move here, roll with advantage. And thank you. - Woo, that'll hit, 22. - Okay, so let's do some damage. (dice clacking) Normal. 13 slash eight. - Now this is also my first attack. While you're raging, the first creature you hit on each of your turns with the weapon attack takes one D6 plus half your barbarian level 'cause of my zealot thing. So let me just roll a quick D6 plus one. - Seven. - I think it's more than plus one.

- Half my barbarian level. - How many barbarian, aren't you like level four? - Level three. It's rounded down, isn't it? - Yes. - Yeah. - I thought you were higher than that, shit, okay. - When you gave us a Tyrannosaurus, you thought us were, we were higher level than-- - No, no, no, no, no, no, it's still well. - Level six, oh shit. - Like oh shit, I hope he doesn't get a turn. - Let's take a look at some new characters, guys. - Within your, it was just more it's like, really, I thought it would, 'cause I knew Karen was a little further, but okay. - You secretly tucked away two more T-Rexes.

- Yeah, it's like, oh, guys, get, get, get, just. Tatiana, you're up. - Okay, I'm going to use my new hellfire short bow on this sucker. Attack. - I don't have advantage, because the dinosaur is a larger creature, right? It's not technically flanked. - I mean, it's flanked. You have advantage because, yeah, because like picture, okay, picture this thing as like, they're doing enough damage. If it was just like, eh, but Lisa's over here whipping out like a quarter of its life bar. So like, it's going to be over here sniffing. Yeah, like its leg is disabled.

You got Lark over here, freaking out. Like it's distracted. - I'm doing it then. - Hey, oh, 22 will hit. - Nice, and I'll do the regular damage and then my sneak attack after. - Yeah. Seven so far and sneak attack. Woo, and another six, holy shit. - Yay. - It's good. (dramatic music) - As a result of being bloodied. - Uh oh. - He's going to give an old fashioned tail strike to anybody within 10 feet of him. So just kind of a whoopity doo, like just kind of, you know. - Shaking his tail. - And a big old, big old girthy tail. So like. - Oh, 10 feet. - Yeah, tail strike here we go.

Here's one for Lisa. - Yeah. - 17? - Yeah. - Okay. - Is dodged. No, we don't have that yet, nevermind. Uncanny Dodge you're looking for? - Yeah, that's level four. - Level five. - Oh, is it five? - I think it's five. I could be wrong. Well, here's one for Larg. - It is fifth level. - Oh no, that's a 12, that ain't gonna hit Larg. - No, thank you, Larg says, no, thank you. - Just pass the tail on. - You're like so angry, but so polite. - You don't have to be savages. - That's exactly how Larg would be as a barbarian is he would be that guy who's mad, but can't stop being polite.

Like he's all just. - 17 damage. - Takes me down to nine. - Yeah, I think he returned in kind. It's like, oh madam. - That wasn't very civilized of you. (laughs) - No. - Anything else Tatiana? - No. - All right, that brings up Josephine. You are the last person, Karen, to get a turn before big boy strikes back. And you just know he's got a multi attack. You just know it. - I know, which means I should probably go heal since he said you're down to nine. I don't know. I don't want to get too close because he's probably got reach. - I'll just. - You think? - I'll just play back here and I'll do a healing word.

I was going to do a cure wounds, but that's a touch. But I'm so sorry guys. I'm not getting back to it. - Yeah, he's big. He's got, yeah. - He got a big old tail. - Are you saying Josephine is averse to creatures that might eat her? - Yeah, especially ones that could just like reach down and like in one scoop right in there. - Yeah, it does have a bite attack. That bite attacks pretty savage. - So you get five. - I'm guessing you said that's to Vella. - To Vella, yeah. - I think I applied it to her, maybe. - Okay. Did it, boom. - Actually it's a bonus action. So I will do a cantrip and cast a sacred flame at the big boy.

Needs to do a dexterity saving throw. - Oh no. That's not good. - I'm gonna do that with disadvantage because one of his legs is all wet. - I was just about to say how dextrous is he right now? - Not, he wasn't originally. That's kind of one of his dump stats. So, okay, it's saving throw. Disadvantage. - I made it. - Oh my goodness. - It's a DC 13. - Drop a 19 to take a 14. - Yeah. - He's still dextrous. He spins around on his tail fucking like, no. - Anything else? - That's it for this round. - Civilized Tyrannosaurus. Let's, you know what? That worked really well.

Let's do a tail strike against Velma. - I'd rather you did it. - A little tail strike. How about that? That is 16. - That's, yeah, that hits. - Hmm. - Okay. Okay, damage. Now we can do it. Normal damage. - Oh, okay, I'm down. - 26, wait a second. - I would be at negative 12. I was at 14 after the five. So I would be down to negative 12. - What's your total life? 'Cause it's just got to be half of your, nine quite enough to kill you one hit point shy. - Yeah. - Can I do negative? Oh, I can. I can add negative on my hit point sheet. - Yeah, you're zero right now. Don't worry about it. 'Cause if it wasn't enough to kill you, you're fine.

It's still at zero. We almost had to pop that thing early, didn't we? - I just knew it when I heard that. I was like, it's gonna be me too. 'Cause she dumb. She may be like a rogue, but she still fights like a minotaur, which is up close and personal. - Well, this one, this bite here is for Larg. Here we go. First one missed wide. Oh, 29. - Excuse me. - So damage is normal. (mumbles) 31. - Wow. - What? That's normal damage? - That's awesome. - Yeah, he rolled low on a couple of those dies at a three, but like, you know, the intent was there. - Parker still yelling no thank you as he's halfway in this thing's mouth.

- Little leg kickies. - PTSD. - Oof, oof. Okay, guys, it's a new round. - Oh God. - That means, let's see here. Roll everybody. (laughs) Wow, it's gonna be Vella. Vella, Larg, Josephine, Tatiana, then our Rex. And then Blevins. - Okay. - Blevins, let's just say, after all this started happening, he's in a mental argument with Darmok right now on the next move. So he's at the bottom. - What the hell was that? - Vella, you're up. - Last one damage? - Yeah. (laughs) - Can he get better than that or you can get out? - I swear, he's never had this last one. (laughs) - You can get the hell out, I could look meaner than one damage.

- It's a new relationship, I'm just nervous. (laughs) - Not seeing the advantage here, buddy. (laughs) - Okay. Let's see if I can do this. (laughs) - As you dodge your cat. - Oh yeah. Let's see. Oh, okay, normal. Yeah, there we go. Oh, that was almost a 15. - Yeah, that's sadly a seven. Larg, you're up. - Okay, so Larg is, well, he's, we know what Larg's gonna do. Let's just do it. That is a-- - I don't know if you can two flex a T-Rex. - She's down, so that doesn't count as advantage anymore, right? - Nah, she's not really doing a whole lot to aid. - Fair, that's fair.

- It's mostly sputtering blood. - Dang, man. - Nine isn't gonna hit. - Don't like it, okay. - No, thank you. (laughs) Josephine, you're up. Oh my God, it's just you and Tatiana and this thing gets another turn. - All right, well, gotta get, gotta get Vella up. So I'm gonna sprint over here and do a cool slidey. (laughs) And I'm gonna give her a healing. No, a cure wound is what I'm gonna do. - The big one. - The big one and I'm gonna do it at a level two. Heal, normal. - Oof. - Wow, all right. - Oof, a rover one and a three. So seven, you are alive, so. - Oh, thank you.

- Thank you. - It's like pizza, even a bad one. It's like, well, it's pizza, you know. (laughs) - And that's it. - Tatiana, just down this dinosaur, could you? Just discipline this dino. - Bad dino, bad. - Be this dino's daddy, just come on. - Whoa. (laughs) - Okay. - Parent this dinosaur. - Parent this. (laughs) - Okay, let's gentle parent the dinosaur. - Oh, I don't think time out's gonna work with this guy. - No, probably not. I'm just gonna shoot it again. - Yeah, that's probably, yeah. - 'Cause that seems to work last time, right? - So conservative parenting from the 60s, let's do it.

- Yes, yeah. - Let's just, bam. 16 will hit it. - Yay. - Yay, yay, yay. - Damage. - Whoa. - But wait, but wait, there's more. - There's more. - I just gotta get to it because I popped out my character sheet. There. - Is that sneak attack? - That's my sneak, yeah. - Perfect, so that's a total of 10 damage, that's not bad. - Little by little. - Inching down there, you got him, he's got like a third of his hit points back, or down, down two, sorry, down two. - And I'm gonna wave Tatiana's arms around and make a bunch of odd noise to try to get its attention away from the healing that needs to happen.

- I don't like it when I can see your cursor hover over me. - I'm looking at everything here, I'm looking at my options. Okay, so here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna, you know what? Jamie, I want you. Let's see if you distract this guy. Let's see, I guess this is kind of a persuasion check, let's do that. How much of a presence are you? I'm looking for 13 or higher and he's gonna start shifting. - Okay, that's just a flat for me, so let's just see. - Let's see. - If I know anything from Jurassic Park though, this should work. - If you roll a three, no. - Well, calm down.

- So what we're gonna do, he's gonna swing his tail this away and he's going to try and hit Josephine. But the thing is, Vella is right next to Josephine and well within distance, and that's a girthy tail. So this one attack will be for the two of you. - No, that's why I didn't want that. - I know, I know. It's just a normal roll though, here we go. 16. - Yeah. - Does that hit? - That hits. - Okay, okay, hold on, hold on now. It's just normal damage, low rolls. - Nope. - 17, wait, you just got back. - Wait, I did, okay, so that only takes me to negative 10, so I'm just unconscious.

- You're still fast. - He wakes back up just to get smacked in the face again. - You ever see those spinning things that like the bouncy houses or whatever that are just like, and you get hit by one and then you're sitting there and you just hit by the next one until you get up and move, that's what it feels like. - Yeah. - You feel real dumb, that's, yeah. Oh God, so you're not, you're just unconscious, you're not dead. - He says he's not dead yet. - Oh God, okay, the bite is for, well now could reach Joseph, nah, you guys took your licks. This is for the lord.

- Oh God. - Boom. - 14? - That meets, that hits. - Oh. - Damn, he rolled a four too, that's a big ass modifier. - He got a big ass mouth. - He does. Normal damage, 28, that's after he rolled a one and a three. - No thank you. - Oh my God. - He's like holding both his jaws open like, ah, no thank you. - He's like, I've got this, you all go, it's fine. - Blevins? - Wow. - So Blevins. - Now it's not time to roll one damage again. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So Blevins is gonna kinda snap out of his internal debate, he's going to run over around to Heinlarg as much as he can around the T-Rex's kind of range and he is going to, at first he is going to cast Cure Wounds at second level on Larg.

- Oh. - Just because, you know, I know we have someone on the other side, so. - Teamwork, I like that. - Just Larg down to him. - Seven, seven hit points remaining. - I figured it was something like that. - Let's see here, touch creature. - You might want to pull your mic just a little bit closer, Jameson. - Oh, sorry. - No, you're fine, get comfy, but like, you know, not too comfy. - Please. - 17. - 17? - Good roll. - I didn't know you could do that. - So, you know, as soon as he touches Larg, he's like, now's not your time, young master, but it kind of, it sounds like Darmok just in his voice, like now's not your time, young master.

It's just a weird thing, like you're going to snap, like what? You know, just one of those weird quirky things, but you're going to get a Bardic Inspiration because of that though. - Oh, I'll take that. - So take that with you. - Is that a D6 at this level, a D8? - Let's see, I think it is a D6. - I'll take it, thank you very much. - Back to battle you go. - So it's like a helpful hand up and a pat on the butt, get him back on the field. - Yeah, with a smooth, sultry voice in there somewhere. - Oh, good game, good game. - I can't wait to do post for this episode.

Man, that's going to be fun. Gee golly, that's the end of a round, guys. That means it's time to reroll. - Oh no. - Oh my god. - Oh no. - Oof, that's another seven. - Well, that's, dinosaur goes first, then Larg, Josephine, Tatiana. - Well. - Maybe, we'll see. - Yeah, man, we'll do it, baby. Let's see, I guess. - It feels mean, because I'm gonna, if I hit Vella again, it's a crit. Well, no, Vella's down again, right? - Mm-hmm. - So this will just hit Josephine, if so. Okay, well then, okay, tail attack, let's do it. - Because it's a high level. - I mean, my body is still right there, though.

- It's like you're laying down, though. We can conceivably say, I imagine you were kind of- - Maybe she had just lifted her head enough that she was like, oh. - Right, yeah, like comical, you know, it almost decapitated you. Here we go, this for Josephine, though. - Oh, it missed it. - Damn, that's crazy. So let's bite you, I guess. No, let's bite Larg. Normal. - Oh my God. - Oh, that was a 21. - This thing hits hard. - It's really starting to hurt. So every time I've rolled this bite damage, there's like a one and a three in there. Eventually that luck's probably gonna run out.

Let's hope it isn't now. - This is luck? - Oh boy. - Oh shit. - 38 damage. - So even cutting. - So it's down to 19. - Even cutting that half. - Oh. - Oh, that's a good one. - Oh, that's a good one. - That leaves you with five hit points. - I don't like it. - Larg. - Okay. - James, what's your AC? - 14. - Yeah. - Just for my notes. - He would have to basically biff to not bite me. So for flavor, I wanna say that at this point, Larg is doing that thing where he's like propping the T-Rex's mouth open, like he's in its jaws. He's got its feet on one thing and his hands on the other thing.

- Punching the roof of its mouth. - And it's like, yeah, like keep digging into his forearms and stuff. And he's just gonna, he's still raging. So we're gonna do another attack with his ax that's on fire while he's in its mouth. - Come on, baby. - Here we go. - I believe you said about inspiration as well. - That's true. Do I have advantage from this position? I know Vella's down, but with Josephine and Tatiana, probably not. Well, I mean, Josephine's in range, right? - Yeah, you know what? I'll give it to you even if it's just because you're in its mouth. - Yeah, 'cause I just put myself there going through.

- Yeah, Turnabout is fair play, right? Like holy Jesus. - Jesus. - Well, we'll drop a two to take a seven. That's a 12 and that will miss. - I will, overall that inspiration. - I don't think that would hurt. Yeah, let's do it. - I thought you were gonna say that won't help. Don't do it. - Three. - That's a 15 now. - First of all, I love that your dice have scales, how fitting. Two. That brings you up to a 15 and yes, that will hit. - There it is. - Perfect. - There we go. - Damage. Normal. Man. Well, this is my first attack of the turn, so let me get that other thing.

- That's a five for everybody out there. - That's five. I also have, well, another D6 plus one. That's a nine total. - I'm doing my best. - I love how the first two thirds of this health bar zipped by and now it's getting bad. - Well, it got to return fire. - We spooked it at first and now it's mad. - Jesus. Josephine? - I'm gonna heal. - How many of those you got left? - Well. - Gonna heal. Thank you. Oh my God. A decent roll. - 15 health. Back to Bella. - Keep your head down. - Get out of there. - She's like, she's gonna army crawl. Not gonna lie. - I once, as a young man, do you know like carnival rides, fairgrounds rides, that spaceship one where you get in and you lay against the bed thing?

- Yes, the Gravi-Tron. - Yes. Okay. Well, if you're young and stupid, there's these bars in the middle. And I held onto it thinking, oh man, I'll just, that's not what happened. What happened was I tumbled backwards, hitting my head against one of those beds. And the gravity kept me from getting up. But every time I would try, my head would get boom, hit against the thing. And eventually you just lay there. That's what I feel like is happening here with this dinosaur. - Let's wait till the ride's over. - Just stop struggling. - So painful. - Jesus, anything else?

- No, that's all I can do. - All right, Tatiana. - Okay. - There you go, you're back. - Okay, so it's not game mechanics wise gonna do anything, but Tatiana's running back and forth trying to get in. - dinosaur's attention away from her compatriots. - The problem is there's a lot of damage being done. Well, there isn't, but like there is damage being done in its mouth. So like you gotta, yeah. Okay, let's use wild terms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just got to draw aggro, like do enough damage and it'll focus on you. - By the way, a bunch of listeners have joined the Ravens wow Guild.

And I can't wait to play with you guys as soon as this moves over with 20. - Those are the right words, Jason. - Amazing. - Well, let's see if it's going to be on the table. Give me D6. - Okay. - So much sneak attack damage. - Yeah, I'll do my sneak attack. - That's a six. Remember that aggro thing I talked about? - This is perfect. - Come and get me a big fucking lizard. - Okay. - Give me D20. Let's see what happens. If you get the hand thing again, I can't give you the hand. - I was going to laugh so hard. I really wanted it to be like the other leg. - Oh shit.

Gaping wound in addition to standard critical hit damage. The target takes ongoing five plus half your level damage round up. This effect ends when the target is healed, which probably isn't going to happen. - Oh wow. - I love that. - Okay. I'll roll the damage. - Boop. - Oh, that's 11 and sneak attack. - My sneak is 2D6. Where'd he go? There it is. Did it do it? No. - Oh my gosh. - Oh god. One T seven damage. - Oh my gosh. - Almost. - Plus the five too. Plus the five. - Plus the five. - Plus? Wait. Oh. - From the gaping wound. - Oh shit. - From the gaping wound. - Oh come on.

- Oh guys, everybody out there who's listening, this health bar is so low. - Get him. - 11. - I can't even see if we're covering it. - Yeah. - Picture like Ocarina of Time, the fucking fairies like over and over yelling in your ear. - So vivid. - Oh, okay. - Levens, you are up. - Let's see here. All you gotta do is hit it, baby. - Well then I guess I should, I'll try one more Eldritch Blast, but just in case that fails, I'm going to first send over a Bardic Inspiration to heavy hitter Tatiana. - Hey kid, we like what we saw. I don't know why it rolled. No, I didn't hit you.

- Bonk. - Let's just go for it. Yeah, one. Let's try this roll. Okay. - Oh, hit. Yeah. - So, okay. Before you roll, before you roll dash, as long as you don't roll a one, you're going to kill this dinosaur. - You think so? - I mean, I have it on pretty good authority. - Okay. - All right, let's roll damage. - Darma, get out. - Does he really have more than two HP? Really? Does he not just have one? Really? Seriously. - I swear to God, he has two hit points. He has two. Watch, watch, watch, watch. I'm going to show you by doing the damage. Here it goes. - Wait, it's not his turn yet.

Just kidding. - No, he's got to get a turn first. - I got excited, sorry. - Vella. - I'm awake. - You and Nia. - Go, you're up. - She's up. She's going to stand up and be like, what the fuck? - And she's going to slash one more time. What? No, not at you. She'd be like, that fucking hurt, you asshole. And then she's going to attack with her rapier with advantage because Larg is across from her. - Yep. Jesus, 21 will do it. - Okay. - You can't fail. - Cannot. So let's do standard damage. - You could push him over. - She'd be like, you son of a bitch. - Seven damage will kill the Tyrannosaurus.

And it falls backward onto Vella. - I knew it. - Congratulations on beating level 20 here, guys, of the tower. - That was a hairy one for a minute. - That was. - A few more swings. - Larg was like, was it worth it? That was kind of fun. - How? Okay. Larg was bitten by a fucking T-Rex no less than three times. - Yes. - What does he look like? Paint a picture because this was major damage. - Oh yeah, no, he's coated in blood. His own and the T-Rex's just like puncture wounds all over his upper body and everything. And like, he's actually, he's still coming down off of the rage.

So I don't think he's feeling all of the pain and probably not thinking clearly. And he actually says, he's like, that was a little bit fun actually. But ow. But he's like pulling T-Rex teeth out of his chest, you know. - So I get to introduce a new mechanic because you guys passed your first gut check. - Yay. - You know how I love risk reward stuff, right? I need someone to volunteer to do our travel die and then I'll explain things. Birthday girl? I heard birthday girl. Who said birthday girl? That was weird. - That's fine. - Who said that? Karen. - I volunteered.

- I think it was Jamie. - So you obviously want to get out of this tower fairly quickly. So the tempting thing is like, okay, D12s, D20s, let's get out of here, right? Now, the thing is, if you roll poorly under half of what that die value is, really bad things happen. You're going to get into combat no matter what, but as a way to soften that blow, for each die value you go up, I'm going to give everybody a level. So to explain, if you pick a D6, well, look at that. You gain a level. A D8, that's two. D10, three. D12, that's four levels and a D20 is worth five levels.

However, obviously the greater the risk, the greater the chances of you just getting curb stomped by a lich or a mummy lord or something real terrible. Within this tower, the laws of Theria don't apply. I can bring in famous monsters from D&D settings, famous movie monsters. It doesn't matter. So I'm going to let everybody in the group talk it over and everybody out there listening. What do you think Karen should do? Tell her what she should have done in the chat right now. How many levels you got to go up, guys? I at least want uncanny dodge, man. What level is that?

I'm five, so two. But I'm down for whatever you want, birthday girl. It's your decision. Mind you, some of us are like misleveled. Like some are level four superior race and some are level three, the serfs. So whatever those are. Did you just say superior race? I mean, it's like everyone who's level four. I just feel a little stronger than you guys. You know, let's just cook dinner tonight. Why don't you just set up camp? So, Karen, Ubermensch, what's your... Jameson, what are you... I don't know if I got to cut that one out. Jameson, what are you... Well, I didn't say anything the last time Karen was offered a deal because I'm usually pretty risk averse.

I'm a bad gambler because I don't gamble generally. Like I walk out of the casino with the money I came in with. That's a solid plan. But I like levels. Everyone does. Yeah, all jokes aside, leveling's fun. I mean, consequences be damned. Yeah, even us level three is we could be level eight in the role of a dime. That's crazy. It's tantalizing. We could leave this dungeon, this tower max level. We could be 20 getting out of here. You guys want to be the first group to make it to max level? Yes, I really do. Around 19 or 20, our level pieces aren't going to matter.

Here's what we're going to do. We're going to walk out of this tower. We're going to climb straight up that mountain and we're going to punch the gods. And we're going to be the new group. We're going to stop by the guy with the flag, swing at him on our way up. I do need to... I feel there's a little bit of a buyer beware here because I'm sure some of you, like some of our listeners, would be asking something like, "Hey, what's to stop them from?" And let me cut you off there because part of my job is coming up with answers to what would stop you from.

So should you die? You start at level one again and you have to retry and you no longer benefit from gaining levels until you beat the level that you previously died on. So it's not recursive. You don't get to just fail your way upward. It's not a rogue-lite. It's more of a rogue-like. If that makes any sense to any of you. But we only have two rogues. I'm sorry. That's fine. I hate you. Halfway done with that sentence. I was like, "I shouldn't be allowed to talk." I'm sending you a cat. That's your penalty. That's your penalty. Take it back, please. That was cat-worthy.

I'm going to send you... I will take level one voluntarily. It's fine. I would rather die. I couldn't do that to you. What are you thinking, Karen? So here's what I'm thinking. We all know what Karen's thinking. I would love to be a level nine and have a plus four proficiency modifier. But historically, when offered a dice roll, it hasn't been great on my end. Just means it's your time. I'm just, you know, you're due. For evidence, my hit point dice where it's like, "Oh, you know, could have been any dice in the world." And then it ended up being a one, you know?

In your defense, that was hilarious. I mean, if you guys feel comfortable with that, I'm fully OK doing a 20. Well, listen, you know, in that optimistic view, the best case scenario, you roll a 18 to 20. We make out here like bandits on a train, you know? Now, here's the thing. Every 20th level, so 40 is your next big gut check, but things can happen like combat is going to happen. There are puzzles, there's combat. Every floor is going to be a little different. But just know that you get the levels regardless. If you say I want to roll a d20 and you roll a one, you still get those levels first.

So whatever nasty shit that being said, you pick a 20 and you roll a one. We're talking dragon territory. We're talking nasty, nasty. I've always wanted to fight a dragon. So like this is what I get. This is what I get to dust off the back of the monster manual and all these many, many books. You can't see them now, but they're in boxes. I have them. A tarrasque going on. So scenario wise, let's say we roll that like three or five doing this and we get that sleeping dragon who's waiting for us in one of the platforms. Is there any way we could like role play our way out of this situation, like sneak around the dragon, do this, do that?

Or is it like mono, you mono, Don King behind us? We have to fight this out. I feel like the platform rising is like a dinner bell. Yeah, it's very. This is you're more in a situation like like the raid or dread, right? This is there's not really a lot of diplomacy here. So the only way out is through. So one way one way out. So these gods are imbuing you with all this power, but it's kind of like picture. There's an off track betting pool going on. It's like, I don't know. I like the skinny one. I might own the skinny one. Like, it's not because they like you or even care about you necessarily.

It's more just like, well, let's see what they do. Weird question. Is this a decision that we're making in character to any degree? Because in character, yes. If if Lark knows that the gods are imbuing them with this power, there's no way you wouldn't just floor it on this. You know, and that's. Yeah, no. There you go. I guess I should be clear. We were playing it up because, ha ha, Karen. But like, like, serious, this is a character decision we're making. Like we are we just finished fighting the T-Rex. Now I have to decide, like, do we want to take it slow and easy or do we want to trust in the gods?

At the very least, Lark is like, we did it. We were meant to do it. We did it. We did what the gods told us to do. Let's go. Like, we talked to a god. Yeah. They wanted us to do this. I mean, Blemund is possessed and he thinks he's chosen, so he'll do literally anything. Who knows what he'll do next? Oh, yeah. I'm going to do it. So, OK, just before you roll. OK. Everybody out there at home right now in the chat. Put your money down. Put your put your money down right now. Now, if you roll a one. One. We're all going to laugh. It's just it's we're going to do it like.

We're not going to laugh here because we're all going to be in this shit together, but everyone else will laugh. If you roll a one. Remember that voting I talked about in the beginning of this episode? We're going to take the top two choices from listener votes. Oh, no. And to make some fake email. What are the odds? You know, what are the odds? What I spent my birthday. Nothing bad can happen. Nothing bad has ever happened. Or your wedding or my wedding. Yeah. Like everything's gone silky smooth and it will forever. This gravy train's got biscuit wheels and it's never derailing.

So. What the fuck? I love it. I'm going to use that every day. I'm going to get it to you. Next time we see Lisa, she'll pick that to have that phrase. That will be my first tattoo. This gravy train has biscuit wheels. I will send you money to get that tattoo actually. I will gladly contribute. Just let me move. And then I'll gladly contribute. I might have to wait until like October. I don't think they'll do that now, but yes. No, they won't do it now. You're 100% right. But Merry Christmas. Cause you're getting. Like a train engine made out of gravy, just like dripping with like biscuit wheels.

Oh my God. Guys. We have audience. We have audience members who are good artists. I would pay for that art, please. That would be hilarious. I still got to get a big bear tattoo. If we can get this etched on, on, on Lisa's skin. If we get more people, fantastic. I want the smoke of the train to be the script of the phrase. Yes. There we go. I'm getting real schoolhouse rock vibes and I don't know why. Like I don't. Yeah. Anyway, Karen, we've stalled enough. All right. I'm doing it. I believe in you. Thank you. Oh, Hey. All right. That is the B minus of rules. That's totally fine.

So level 35. Level 35 is a puzzle floor, guys. Well, we've been instantly murdered, hopefully. It might be a booby trap. Yeah. I have rewatched all of the diehards. I'm ready. Oh, good. So this one's from the Princess Diaries. Actually. Maybe. I'm joking. My son's namesake. Really? He said Diaries, not bride. Oh, diaries. I just like. I went Princess Bride. Yeah. I know everything about Princess Diaries too. So. Brilliant. I think it's like, what's the puzzle in Princess Diaries? This puts you up to level the tower level 34. We're going to confuse the shit out of listeners by doing that.

We're level 34. But here's what I'd like to do, guys. Let's go around the table and announce to everybody. You are now current level and how many hit points you went up by. Let's start with Karen. This was Karen's doing. This is me. I did it. I am now a level nine cleric. And I went up 36 hit points. And 63. And Jamie. Hello, I'm Jamie. I went up that I'm confused by because my D&D beyond is different than what we came up with. So we'll talk about that later. But I went up 24 points and I'm down level eight. Okay. Zach. Hi, my name is Zach and. I was in my name. I don't know.

We're in the middle of the. It's just so it's just so. So. You know who the hell I am. Don't worry about that shit. Just worry about 11. Elmar Roo, the four. He is level nine. I know some of our party members are level eight now. They'll have to be doing the paintings. Yes. Yes. It's like it's like, you know, you got to have you got to have seniority. It's all right. Level nine, he's a warlock, a bard, more warlock than bard now, level six, more like level three bard. Yeah. You know, it's funny because I plan to do something completely different if Darmock ever gets out of him.

Like his love was just going to change. Like, I just dropped levels because like, you know, it's all it's all in the man. Literally. But I went up twenty three points. Now I'm like a clean 50 from twenty seven points. Nice. Lisa, you didn't sadly you didn't fare so well with the hit points. I did not. I did not. She's still so well is now a level eight rogue. And she actually doubled her hit points, which I thought was kind of funny that it the math worked out that way. So now she's sitting at she added a cool twenty six to her twenty six for an even fifty two.

She is a deck of cards. That's not bad for having two ones and two twos. Yeah. It's not bad. And last and certainly not least, James. Yes, so I added two levels of barbarian and we also picked up three levels of paladin for a total of fifty four additional points to bring us to ninety points. She's almost a triple digit. You gained more hit points than I have total. It's on the stealthy one of the group, I think I'll be. Yeah, I'll be the glass can in the back. Yeah. Jason, I'd like to make you a deal. All these years I've been waiting, knocking on the marbles door.

We talked a little bit about replacing one of the paladin barbarian abilities I have because it's useless with the way that these rules work. Right. And I did I just thought of something as I was looking at my sheet that I think fits character wise and I would be lying if I said I didn't think of it because it also benefits kind of the way that larger shaping up. But there's no rules in five for wielding a two handed weapon in one hand. What if Lark could do that? He's got a two handed axe. But he's he's finding his his old groove again and he might try to pick up a shield at one point.

What if he had his axe in one hand and a big old shield in the other? That'd be something he's capable of. And he would sacrifice one of the classes for the barbarian. Yeah, I mean, in your price. I mean, we're we're already getting rid of one of my other abilities for this. But if you want to. Yeah, I'm trying to think about there. There are no rules against her. I just looked it up. There is no rule in five D and D for wielding a two handed weapon in one hand. What's the drawback? Why wouldn't everyone do that? No, I'm saying like you just can't do it according to the rules.

Oh, oh, oh. So it's probably you know what? Let's do this. I thought it was a feat. I was looking for it. I thought you could do. I think so. Here's what we'll do. I'm going to put a pin in that. I'm going to give a tentative yes, but there's got to be some kind of trade off because. You can't have all the advantages of a barbarian and a shield and because that's like that's the end of this activity. That's another extra benefit. Yeah, that's that's that's 80s thinking I'll get one now. No, not to. So, OK. Yeah, tentative yes, but definitely we're going to because there's already eight people in the chat going, what's this like?

There's something. Yeah, no, I'm totally cool with that. But I was just a quick solution to what I was trying to. I'm very surprised to find that there apparently doesn't exist a feat for you. So. Well, guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop. And next time we sit down, it will be a puzzle of some sort on the level 34 of the tower. And I guess I'll toss it over to me to to to shut everything down here and let everybody know what's going on. Hi, everybody, my name's Jason and I host the show. You guys can support us out there by doing all kinds of things.

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