The Tower

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That kind of thing means the world and it helps us keep the lights on. Of course, if you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like, subscribe, comment, and share. Do all that good algorithm stuff. And without further ado, let's get on with the day's episode. (gentle music) (gentle music) Let's do that thing on the East Coast. Now we're gonna do that thing and go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table. Start with Karen. Hi, I'm Karen and I play Joe, the human cleric. And Jameson. Oh, hey, I'm Jameson and I play Larg.

He is a half-orc, barbarian and once again, paladin. And Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa and I play Vella, the minotaur rogue. And Jamie. Hello, I'm Jamie. I play Tatyana, the human rogue. And last and certainly not least, Zac. What's up, my name is Zac and I play Blevin Elmaruteford, the human bardlock. So let's give a super quick recap of things that are happening right now. You started a trek through hell, just trying to get to basically a weak spot so that you can kind of climb your way out of there. Same way Darmok did. He was your guide for the most part. All of a sudden, this, well, for lack of a better term, an ivory tower springs up from the ground and it appears to be a way out.

Like if you were to go through every level here and get to the top of it, then you are essentially being judged by the gods, right? If you pass this test, you're out scot-free. That's what you were told. So we're picking up in the mid 30s here, level 35, and there are a hundred levels to this tower. That's what you've been told so far. And the last time we left things off back in springtime, was you guys kind of knowing that it's like, yeah, this is like a mystery slash puzzle type of floor. And that's fine. What I'd like you guys to do as the platform's raising, because every time you do one of these, there's a center platform that raises up to the next level here.

And the platform that you're raising up to was kind of dark, like a little bit dingy up here. And the shadows are kind of like maybe playing tricks with your eyes because it's almost like you see movement in the far corners. And I'd love a perception check just to kick things off from for everybody. (soft music) It was 15. Well, these are already better than the first rolls I had you do today. Oh, oh. Oh, nice. I internally high five Darmok. (laughs) So this is, it's kind of, the rest of this tower so far has been kind of bright and cheery almost for lack of a better term.

It's kind of new looking, like some of it looked like it was marble. Some of it looked like it was kind of like magic radiating off of surfaces. This one feels a little more dungeon-esque a little bit. And you're going to see bars kind of inset in the walls all the way around this room. But it's like a small prison window that is just stretched horizontally all the way around. So it's a little higher than like, I'd say like five, five and a half feet it starts. And then it goes up, but you don't see anything behind it. It just looks pitch black behind that.

So either this, maybe there used to be like a skybox or something you could see out of this, or there was something trapped there or something. But I'm going to say with, I'm going to say Blevins and Josephine are going to see something skitter out of the corner of their eye. Just kind of, just kind of almost like a, like a rabbit or something like that kind of like abrupt, like, oh, I got to get out of here type of skitter. Like, and it's going to be coming from your right hand side. - At like floor level, eye level? - It looks like it's coming from behind those bars.

But again, it's just kind of pitch black back there. So it's, you know, it's kind of, it's the kind of darkness where it's like, okay, maybe does that go on forever? Is that like, you know, is it like a TARDIS where it's like bigger on the inside and this kind of defies the space of the tower itself? Or is it magic? Is it, you know, but this is definitely a place like hanging chains, cobwebs, that type of thing. So it's definitely sketchy. It's like single guy eating in a parking lot at a Chuck E. Cheese didn't take his kids there sketchy. Like it's definitely a reason to like look into it, but maybe not assume the worst yet.

- I think personally, Blevins is just going to take note of the skittering, but he's not going to alert the party just yet. - We have torches, right? If I'm remembering. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - I think Joe is gonna maybe move towards the right with the, not too far away from the party, just to kind of see if like the torch will light anything up to see if like the light stops where the darkness starts or if it will permeate the darkness. - As you kind of approach this, it is illuminating some of that dark, but it's dim. Like this seems to be almost like magical in nature 'cause it almost devours it.

Like it's so inky black, but as you get closer with a torch, there's gonna be this little gnarled hand that's going to kind of like reach forward and wrap around one of the bars. And there are gonna be these large wet eyes kind of like creep out of the darkness. And you're gonna see kind of like, not scaly, but definitely like picture like a traditional goblin type of thing, but like kind of moist, like just misted. You know what I mean? Just like maybe a sweaty goblin type of thing, but definitely like kind of pointy features and stuff, just kind of like looking at you.

But to be specific, these eyes aren't like grr, let me, just big wet, big wet pippin eyes. That's what they are. - I kill it. - Big wet. (all laughing) - Set it on fire. - Puzzle solved, let's go. (all laughing) - The only puzzle is why was this made? (all laughing) - Hubris is the only answer, moving on. (all laughing) - She's gonna back up a little bit back towards the group and be like, hey, there's something in here. It's behind the bars guys. - As you back away, you're gonna hear that scamper again, and you're gonna hear it, you know, 360 around the room.

Like you're gonna hear it like moving and like little pebbles and stuff like that are gonna be knocked over as this thing is scampering around. And then you're gonna hear it stop. And now it's over kind of where Larg is, like it's moved like 90 degrees around the room and it's kind of settled over there. - Is it kind of peeking out in the same way it was before? - Yeah, definitely again, the same, like it's like reaching out, like kind of like peering up to get a closer look at you type of thing. And then, you know, it'll kind of like hang back a little bit just in case like.

- Does it appear to be more than one of these creatures? - Not that you could tell, like it seems like if there are more than one, they're definitely laying low. 'Cause this is, only one of them is making noise at a time then, it's that kind of thing. - So Largo approach it kind of in the way, like if you're approaching a dog that is off its leash in the street, like not like, oh, come here buddy, but not with fear either, just like, I don't know what kind of dog you are yet, you know? - Yeah. - Like, you know, you look fine, you look like you might be scared, but you might also bite because you're scared.

So that's kind of the level of caution he's using when approaching it, but he's gonna get within arms reach of it and just see what it does if it doesn't run away in that time. - So it's going to, it's gonna kind of come into the light. And this thing is minuscule, like maybe a foot tall, we're counting like the points of its ears and stuff like that, very, it is hunched over in this thing, like this enclosure is not big enough for it. And again, it's got these tiny little, like little gnarled hands and it's going to kind of grip the bars, but its feet are way bigger, like kind of like almost like ape feet in that they're, they kind of curl around the ledge and like hold on and get big wet eyes.

It's going to like kind of curl out and then try to, try to reach out and like touch, touch Largs arm. - Are you real? - I don't know what the hell I was just going to say. Did that thing speak? - I think it did. Yeah, we're, I know I'm real and he'll kind of glance at the others for a second. What are you? - Oh, well, my name's, and there's a long pause. Well, I don't, I don't remember my real name, but Splat is what they call me. It's the sound I make when I bounce off walls. - Why are you bouncing off of walls Splat? - Mostly because people throw me into them.

- Who throws you? - And again, like he's like, he's going to like, kind of peer out and he's got this, he's got this some kind of angular head, but his big wet eyes really almost hang out of his face. Like it's, it's so evolutionarily speaking again, like a Pippin completely ill suited to the environment. - I'm imagining the baby leper in Madagascar or lemur. - Yeah, yes. Okay. - Yeah. - Yep. - So. - Yeah. There's a little scratch in there. There's a little like, like, you know, just like, yeah. And he's looking around to see like, how many of you are there?

- That would be the other demon, sir. - You're not, you're not here to hurt me, are you? - No. I prefer not to, if we don't have to. I don't suppose you know how we can continue up this tower that you're in. - Can I ask why you want to do that? - Well, we're in hell, right? This is hell? - Yeah. Yeah, right. - So we want to, we want to leave. - Right. - We're going home. - What? Okay. You know climbing this tower isn't going to do that for you, right? Like it's not, it's not like an elevator. It's not, it's not going to go straight to the top and let you out, right?

- I'm out of character. I feel like I'm missing, like, I just want to make sure what he's saying lines up with what my memory is. Wasn't the tower literally too, like as far as the ecstasy? - Yeah. It's like, okay. I just want to make sure I wasn't misremembering. Okay. - Yeah. No, no, no. - Okay. So, so Larg will just kind of look confused and say, how, this tower is really big. When's the last time? Like it's, it breaches the top. - The top of what? - The top of hell. I don't know. It's, it goes all the way. I don't know. God said we could leave if we got up there.

(laughing) - Oh, no. Okay. I see what's going on. It's, it's, there's, there's been a bit of a, a bit of a mistake here. You're being tortured. See, there's, the hope is terrible. Don't, don't, don't, don't have hope. Cause then you, you get upstairs and then they kick you down and there's no, there's no out. It's, it's, well, it's hell, isn't it? - Well, yeah, that's, I mean, I could get that, but we have, we brought a Darmok. He knows the way out and we're gonna, you know, we got, we got it. We know a guy, I guess. We just, - He's gonna, like his, his hands and feet are gonna like recoil and like, he's kind of like slipping back.

You go who? - Oh yeah. Darmok's inside him and he'll point at Blevins. (laughing) And Blevins is like, he's a, he's a couple of feet back. They've been having their conversation. Blevins is like, I say, what, what kind of conversation you guys have in there? - Oh, he doesn't think we can get out this way. So I'm just, I'm trying to understand that. - Larg. Why are you talking to demons? They'll tell you anything. - You wouldn't lie to me, would you? And then turn around, you wouldn't lie? You're so little. (laughing) - I, well, I got nothing to gain, if that's what you mean.

I just, I'm trying to kind of pass this. So that guy has the Darmok, just like in him. - Yeah. Who I, who I've beaten up a couple of times already. So we got, you know, we're okay on that front. - All right. - But Darmok's inside him, but Darmok is helping us go up there, but he's not leaving. We're going to make sure he, I mean, sorry. (laughing) - And at this point, Blevins is going to get closer. - Does a demon start to recall even more? - He's definitely on edge. - Okay. - Like he's a little, he's gonna, he's gonna lean in and try to whisper right to Larg.

Why would he do that? - Why would he help us? - No, no, no. Like, why would he, why would he, why would he do that, that, that, that, that merge thing? Why would he, why would he do it? - I mean, he does a lot of gross stuff. I don't really understand. So I don't, I don't know. Maybe Blevins seems to get along with him pretty well. If you want to ask him, but I don't, I have no idea. He's a weird guy. Let me ask, can I ask you a question? - Oh yeah. Yeah, go ahead. - If we can't go out, if we can't leave by going up, if all that's gonna happen is we get thrown back down, then why not go up?

Let's see what happens. Like the best case we're right and we leave. Worst case we start over and we go out the other way. - Well, you seem, you seem pretty confident. You seem pretty sure. Is, do you think maybe, do you think maybe I can go with you? I'm not, I'm not from here, if that helps. - Well, where are you from? - I, well, I mean, I used to be mortal. I used to be, you know, like you. Not, not big and orcish, but the other parts, you know, living. - I don't know. So he asked if he can come with us, right? - Yes. - Okay. Yeah. So there will be a sizable pause while Larg thinks about it.

And then he'll open his mouth to answer and he'll close it again. And he'll turn and look at Blevins, but Darmok's in there and they'll turn and look at the other three. And they'll go, he wants to come with us. His name is Splat. - He's gonna, like, you're gonna see the little hand, just like, hi, like just kind of like out from behind the. - Now, Larg, I can see Splat here is a fine fellow, but I think we should stick to our constituents we have here. - And he's peeking at us through bars, right? Like he's enclosed, he's trapped. - Oh yeah. - And we've been able to hear the whole conversation.

It's not a big area. - Sorry, what was that? - We've been able to hear like that whole conversation too. - Yeah, it's not. Yeah, I, you know, the whispering, it's like, hey, why would you do that? Maybe you'd have to lean in, but the rest of it, like it's a little echoey in here too. Like if there's a question about, he's like, I don't eat much, that helps. Like I can just nibble occasionally. I could find my own food, I've been around. So I know the area, I'm pretty useful. - Can I roll like an insight on that? - Sure. - Should be like, mm. - Which part? - It's a pretty useful part.

- I think you do eat much. Oh, okay. - 'Cause if I remember correctly, Bella was like, we don't even fucking need darmukh. Why do we need splat? - That's a fair question. You know what? - Truth. - Nope, nevermind. He's trustworthy as fuck. - Yeah. - I believe everything he says. - Vote for splat. - I think like, he just like, cocks his head and like that puppy dog way back. - Splat 2024. - That right twinkle hits you. - She sold. - Oh, he's just too cute. - Yeah, that is a crit one. So that's a five total. - Damn it. - So, I mean, if anything, you look at him, he's like, he probably doesn't eat much.

- She probably looks at him honestly, because he's kind of like gross looking and she's like, I love him. Oh, he's my new pet. (laughing) - She would die for splat now. - Oh my God. - If there's a pause after, it's like, oh, I could be useful. And there's kind of that fry narrowing his eyes kind of like meme. Okay, what if I told you how to get out of this room? Just kind of showing you. I know things. - If you can get out of the room, then why are you in a box? - Oh, no, I'm here voluntarily. No one can get me if I'm in here. Then he's going to turn sideways and just kind of slip out of the bars and just like he's kind of hanging on the outside.

- I'm really glad you said that because I was thinking that I'm like, isn't he small enough that he can get through those bars? - Yes. - The only thing he has to do- - Is that like chicken wire? - So as he's like turning his head and getting out of there, like his eyes are going to rub up against the bars and kind of like slime them up a little bit. But like, that's the only thing that it's- His head's like a mad ball. - No. (laughing) Whole slimy eyes. - These don't blink. So you got to keep them moist. (laughing) - Hard to shutters visibly. - He's going to like, so after he climbs out, like he's going to like gingerly climb down and hang off the ledge.

So there's a good four and a half foot gap as he's hanging. And then like, he's going to look down and like, let go. And he's just going to fall ass first. Like he's got no coordination. Like he tries to like, he lands almost like he broke dance into that position where like one leg, one arm, like he's playing twister. He's like, "Oh, oh." - And we hear splat. - Yes. Like very, because again, he's kind of damp and this is like a cobblestone floor. So just like- - He hits the cobblestone and goes, "Oh, look at that." - He's an onomatopoeia. - It's a good name.

It's a good name. - It's like a Batman 66, just splat. Like just, you know. - He did the thing. (laughing) - Head time. - He's going to like, he's going to kind of get up and like tug on whatever the first thing that he can grab on Lark, whether that be like the top of his boot or something like that. And just kind of like pull him over. And he's like, "See those chains? Those three?" Pull on the middle one first, then the left one twice, and then the right one. And waddy. - I'm going to insight that real quick. - Sure. - Feels prudent. That's an 11. - That's an 11.

With an 11, I think you'd still be on the fence of like whether he's telling the truth. But if he isn't telling the truth, he's really kickable and right next to you. - Yeah, so I think that's the thing. Like Largo will look up at the chains and he'll look at everybody else. And then they'll look at Splatt and be like, "Listen, the last floor we were on, we fought a dinosaur. And we killed that. So if this isn't, if like, that's not exactly what happens, like I have to squish you." - That's fair. You know, that's fair. I don't make a habit of lying to people.

And again, I think you're confident, go get a bunch. So I could just, you know, maybe you hit your eye, maybe hang out on your shoulder and just kind of point. And like a tour guide. - All right, but you got to hang out on her shoulder and he'll point to Vella. (laughing) And he'll go over to the chains. She'll frown, but she trusts him. She's like, "I believe you." - With my hat on. - Just kind of looking at the two, it's like, actually not to insult you, but she's a bit more preferable. Isn't she like a little more plush, more fur, you know, a little less sharp.

- Both cushy. - Easy. - You look, you're covered in sharp. Cause you look like a fucking, you know, you look like a metal album cover. Like the more like brooding. - Yeah, I got to wrap some of these chains around me after I pull on them. - Yeah, oh my God. Oh yeah. - So I think Blevins, he's going to start twitching a little violently. He's just going to start jittering a little bit and he's going to start trying to belch, but nothing's coming out. And after a little bit, this like disembodied voice is going to just come from his throat and it's going to say, "Do not trust ugly foul creature." Excuse me.

Sorry. Shall we continue? He's going to keep walking. - He'll walk by Tatiana and just kind of lean down and be like, "I don't know what to do about that." And just keep walking. - Preach into the choir, Bob. - Please handle, I'm not sure. - Blevins, was that you or was that your inhabitant? - I'm sorry. - Okay, so not aware, got it. - Tell you how, I'm sure that's not going to come back in any sense. - Yeah, that's not going to be a problem later, I'm sure. - It'll be fine. - That'll be future us problem. We don't have to worry about that right now. Worry about that later.

- So I'm going to head over to those chains and correct me, I was middle one once, left one twice, and then the right one, right? - That is correct, good memory on you. - And I pull on them. How much give is in these things? Like, what does it feel like I'm pulling on? - It's like a big satisfying kurchunk. Like, you wouldn't look at them and think, "Oh, these are levers, they're just like hanging chain." But it's like, "Okay, he says it's good." So like, as you pull down, it's like there's like a counterweight somewhere. So when you pull down, it's like a big satisfying, like, "Ooh, that feels good." Like that type of thing.

- You know it's been pulled. - Yeah. - Yeah, all right, cool. - So after the fourth one, you're going to hear, you're going to hear gears kind of like whirring, and then you're going to see that center platform kind of like, boom, boom, like it's, it looks like it's ready to move. So it's just waiting on you. And he's going to kind of like look at you with like a big toothy grin, but his teeth are all kind of like, fucked, like real bad. Like just kind of like, like some are sharp and some are dull, but like, you know, in a human mouth, like there's a gradual, it's like, "These are molars and incisors." Someone just took a fistful of teeth and whipped him at his mouth.

And then just like, however they went in there and it's like, "Perfect." And then they walked away. - Right, like a five-year-old's drawing of teeth kind of. - Yes, exactly. Cool, awful. So, Argo Shrugg, all right, I guess we're done here. He'll stand on the platform. - He's going to pat over, like big wet smacky sounds with his feet. 'Cause he kind of walks like heel toe, heel toe. So it's like he's wearing flippers. And he's gonna like, just kind of like toggle up to Vella and just like hold a hand up. Like he's asking for upsies. - She's like, "All right, here you go, come on." Like arm fit up and on the shoulders.

She'll say, "You can," she's like, "Do not pull on my horns. You will cut yourself." - It's not how you do it. - Vella has like- - You're actually already reaching for the horns. - I knew he was. - Just be careful. - Vella, you're gonna have a wet spot. - This is hell. Everything's wet or hot. - Makes it humid. - Yeah. - As you guys are like climbing back up on this platform, he's gonna say, "You know, if we leave, I know my way around ground floor hell a bit better, but the tower's fine, the tower's fine. It's up to you." - We're gonna try the tower first.

- I need one of you to pick a dice size so we can go up the tower a bit more. - So because it's been 55 days, can you remind us very briefly what the rules are for the tower? - Very, very similar to travel die, where you're basically just, you're wagering. Like you get up the tower faster by picking a bigger die size, but you risk something really bad happening if you roll poorly. That's it. - Okay. - I think we did a d20 last time. - That could be anything. - You did. - Yeah. - You guys swung big, I think. - 'Cause it was my birthday. - Yeah, I was gonna say, Karen rolled last time.

- And she got a 14. - Don't let me roll 'cause you know what I'm doing. I mean, I might do the same thing, so. So I guess. - All of my players here. - Same. - Do you know what? I want everybody to give me a flat d20 and whoever rolls highest is gonna be our chosen champion. - Ain't me. - No. - Negative. - I think it is. - I think you rolled a 17. - Just held God intended. - Damn, there's a lot of crit ones in there. Okay. - Jamison rolled twice. - I didn't think it went the first time. It took like a minute. - Oh, okay. So Zach, you're our man. And with a 17, you rolled head and his shoulders better than everybody else.

So keep that energy if you decide to roll a d20. Like keep it in the upper echelon. - Upper echelon, okay. D20, we're going big. - Okay. - So I feel good after that 17. - 17. Okay, here we go. Mentally high five Darmoth. Here we are. - Oh, that's my thing. - Not bad. - 15. - Nicely done. - So this is perfect. Can I tell you why this is perfect? - 'Cause we're halfway up to level. - This puts you at level 50. That's right. Now from here on out, couple of little twists. One, every roll is gonna be a blind roll. It's gonna be in a dice tower. So you can't see the result.

Yeah. - I love it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And- - We're halfway there, living on a prayer baby. - Obviously the stakes go up, right? Like it's, you know, it's gonna be a little more meaty, substantial, that type of thing. You might have some choices to make. I don't know. So jumping back on this- - Thank Splat for getting us there. Thank you. - I mean, Splat had very little to do with it, but he will take a thank you. - I don't know. - If once the platform starts rising, I think Vella would probably like pat his foot, just be like, well done. - That's the- - Good job Splat.

- That is very much a thing where like, he has to kind of hang on with his feet. So like, definitely, like if he's like, sitting behind your head and his little legs are dangling, like they're almost gonna be like lapels. Like they're gonna like come down and just like hook under your shoulder things and just like, you know, kind of like tap out a rhythm every once in a while. It's like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Like he's- - So he's latched on pretty good then. - Yeah, like his, you know, like actually, I gotta do one thing and this is something like, I gotta, okay, I gotta roll a flat D20 myself.

And if it's on the lower side, I gotta, okay nevermind, you're fine. - See if Splat slimes himself? - No, no, I was gonna see if he dries his eyes off on the back of your head. - Splat. - You know what I mean? Like it's like very pipping, like just like, good eye rubbing, you know? But he's not, he's not gonna do that. - Thank you. - That would be rude. - He rolled for self discipline? - Yeah. (laughing) - He's like, no. - No, that's like a second day activity. This, we gotta get to know each other. (laughing) You guys are going to continue to raise up through here, another 15 levels, you are on level 50.

And when you get here, it is not a circular platform. There is a long spacious hallway in front of you. This is all very well lit now, almost like it's a fluorescent office lighting, that type of thing, like very well lit. Everything is cleaned immaculately and there is a large red carpet rolled out in front of you. And I'd say about 15, 20 yards down this hallway, it sort of opens up into a, like a grand banquet hall. And there is a table full of food, stretched out in front of you. - Are we even hungry? - I mean, it's hell. So like, you don't, like you don't have to eat.

Like it's, it depends on what section of hell you're in, because like some of them really get off on you starving, like that starving to death, but never actually dying thing. This isn't really that. So like food's nice. Like, I would like each one of you, one by one, to give me a flat D 20 and see how close the foods on offer are to things your character would really love. Like when you first look at the table, right? Like, okay, let's start with, oh, Zach. - Oh, we're going by one, I'm sorry. - Woo. - I just rolled. Ah, there's so many non ranch products on this table.

Disgusting. - God. - So Zach, there's not a whole lot on this table that is super appealing to Blevins. That doesn't mean that the stuff there isn't, it isn't good. It just means that maybe Blevins is a little more picky or maybe it's like, oh, that'd be perfect, but it's got veggies on it. That's me, but like, I'm a weirdo. So like, you know, then on the opposite end of the spectrum, Lisa, like, fellas gonna see a whole bunch of stuff. It's like, I'll have one of those and two of those. And like, it's just perfect, you know? - Probably reminds her of like, when she finally got hot food up in the snow, she's like, oh yes.

- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - So with all the dragonborn, she's like, I want that meat and I want that meat. - Splats gonna lean over. We're gonna stop the eight, right? - I was just about to ask you, is that good? Can we do that? - I've never been offered food. I mean, that looks good. I doubt they're gonna lay it out just to, you know, pull it away or trick you or why would they do that? - I don't know, hell, who knows? But it does look really good. You wanna go try it? - Yeah. - Yeah. - She's gonna trot down, pun intended, to go. - If you walk over to the table, he is going to like hop off of you once the table is in, 'cause that's a far enough drop, but it's like, okay, cool.

And there is a large turkey and he is going to crawl into the butt of the turkey and just slowly start to like, you could see him pulling at it from the inside. So like the turkey's kind of like reverse bubbling, like it's weird. Like he's a weird little guy. - The stuffing just ate the turkey. - Right, like he's a weird little guy. - Like a parrot? - He feels safe and warm in there. Like he, you know, there's no one, like the ribs are kind of like- - And he's delicious. - Right. (all laughing) - Well, I think fella's gonna wait and see if anything happens to him as he's eating this.

She's like, I want this. - He's our court jester. - But also- - A little guinea pig pet. - Kind of. So if nothing starts to happen- - I'd say five straight minutes. - Yeah. - Like five straight minutes are gonna go by where he's just picking at that. And you're gonna see where like the, like the turkey's getting thinner. You'll hear like a rib break every once in a while. And like, he's getting to the point where- - Is he very quiet? - Yeah, just kind of like, like you're gonna hear munching and like the little legs in the back every once in a while, like it's just like, he's, it's gross durable.

- That's what I was about to say. This is the most adorable gross thing I've ever seen in my life. - Right. - I love him so much. - Very, you know, but again, nothing's gonna sneak up if you're in the thing you're eating, like, you know. - So Blevin is kind of doing something. He's kind of, he's at the table. He looked at the food. He was disappointed because there was like no food you could actually dip in ranch. He is a lover of ranch for some reason. So he, I don't know if people should roll like a perception check for this, but he's kind of looking at Splat, like he's part of the meal there.

- Oh. - For just a second, then he snaps out of it. - You know what? Everyone give me a perception to see if you notice that. 'Cause that's, that's interesting. - Nope. - Jesus. So Tatiana definitely. - Man, that is just a fucking weird guy. - It's a thing we don't know if that was Blevin's Dermok. - I think you've noticed every weird thing he's done, but with crystal clarity, like everything it's like. - She's seeing all the little red flags and I'm just like, ooh, you get that turkey. I'm proud of you. - Yeah, like Josephine would like kind of spot it a little bit too, but like it would be for the 14, it'd be like, did he?

Like I noticed like there was something weird about that, but like, yeah, like eat the turkey splat, get fat and full. - Does he say that? - Like delectable food under his breath. - Excellent. So again, I think that's something only Tatiana would hear. Like it would be like, yeah. - And I think she would say that and give Lark a little shoulder, a little shoulder nudge, like it's a fucking weird guy. What are we gonna do? Like it's just this constant banter between - Fucking weird boomer. - Lark and Tatiana of like, how are we gonna deal with this? - Are we keeping track?

Should we keep a list of the weird shit he's done? - Write it down and tell HR. - We got a document. Otherwise it's not a word against his. - His and Dermok's, I got a great lawyer. (laughing) - Yeah. - He's okay. - He's just right up here under my ribs. So starting to stretch out. Sorry. No, I was just worried for a second. - It's not even a butterfly fucking just right here. - I'm like, I'm okay. - Could you imagine like in the middle of the game, Lisa's like, all right guys, I gotta go. - Oh, you can't. - I was like, there was a foot right there, like bumped out.

I was like, oh God. - Oh. - Not gonna lie, like the last - Level zero mucking there doing unarmed strikes. - The last time we played before I had Gwen, remember I like made a weird face. You guys are like, are you good? I was like, yeah, I'm fine. It was totally a contraction. - Yeah. - Oh. - That's funny. - That's why I was like, every now and then I just gotta stretch him out, sorry. - I just, I wanna say this. I know we've had a rough time recently. Baby comes before session. Just wanna throw that in there. - What if I was just like, oh yeah, sorry. My water just broke, I'm fine.

- It's like, wow, you know what? Hats off to you, but hospital now. - I actually had no idea that I was having contractions that whole weekend. - Oh man. - That's my fear. I'm like, cause I don't know. So I'm like, is that new? That's new. - Yeah, it's kinda, it's like pain is pain, right? You just like, oh, it's hard to just identify that on the moment. - My understanding of this. - What happens a couple times you'll know. - It's tough. - Yeah, from second hand watching it happen, my understanding of it is you don't know you're having one. Like it keeps being a mystery until a sudden you're like, nope, that was it.

Yep, okay. Now I know what that feels like. - That's not a fucking Braxton Hicks. That's the real deal. - Yeah. - Things I'm glad I will never experience, chapter seven. (laughing) - Oh man. All right. So yeah, Larg didn't see what weird shit he did, but he believes Tatiana when she says it because he knows who she's talking about. But after like five minutes of watching this little gremlin eat, Larg's gonna be like, all right, whatever. And he's gonna go find a spot. - What's your appetite? Washing them eat. - You gotta move a few seats down from wherever Blevins is and then he'll start.

- No, I say that out loud. I'm sorry. - Just gonna grab some pastries, if there are any fun pastries. - There's like, so the entire thing is just kind of, it isn't laid out in any like a conceivable pattern, but like there's gonna be like a big jello mold next to a turkey. And then like, so there's like, here's a sixties dessert. Like here's it, and then there's just gonna be like a big, like a steaming bowl of creamy mashed potatoes. And then there's gonna be like these little, these little like dinner roll things that are kind of encrusted with like Parmesan.

So it kind of, it's kind of like a little ring around it. So it's just a little bit of like cheesy, kind of like crispy, cheesy goodness. Like not like, you could tell they've been like brushed in olive oil and then like you jump over here and there's like one fucking apple pie. So like, there's like. - Yeah, but what kind of apples are in it? That's important. - Not the trash apples. - It's gotta be Cortland. - Red Delicious would make a trash apple pie though. I'm not sure. - See, this is a real mealy apple pie. - I had no idea there were different tiers of apple.

- Oh yeah. - No fucking idea. - Oh yeah. - No idea. I realized today, it's like, am I eating the fucking like Walmart of apples? Like, is that what I'm into? Like. - My husband works at. - I know you're not. - It kind of makes sense now. 'Cause they have tier lists for everything nowadays. - I guess so. - Yeah, that makes sense. - I only knew of like four apples. Like I didn't know that many apples. So like. - There's actually too many apples. - My kid got upset 'cause there were too many apples. (laughs) It's like. - It's overwhelming. - My husband's like, oh, the tote apples are on sale next week.

I was like, oh, which ones? He goes, well, I hope you like Paula reds. 'Cause that's the only ones we're getting. And I was like, oh, opinions about Paula reds. - Man, James, you gotta think about like back in the day when you were a kid, it was only like, oh, red apples, orange apples, yeah. Or you know, like yellow apples. But nowadays it's like, you have this sort of apple. You have this, you have that. You have, it's just so much more information you have nowadays. It's overwhelming for a kid. - What's that about? It's amazing. They're very good. I'm a big fan of them.

- They are very good. - The McAnally is just red. - Anyway, sorry, I have to reel this in. - I don't have any. Yeah, no, I just, I don't have any hardcore opinions on apples and now I feel like I, do I need some? Like, should I? - Yes, you should expand. I don't know if you'll find them in that little podunk town you have. They probably only have the crab apples in the grocery store, but. - There's gotta be like a farmer's market type thing, right? - Yeah. - Dang, yeah. - Go to a farmer's market, find some guy behind there who like picks the goddamn apples and be like, tell me about apples and he will.

And then you will learn. 'Cause they know more than I do. I don't know shit. I just am like, oh, this one's not, like, I don't know anything. - Was Johnny Appleseed a real thing? Was that based on something or like, was he a murderer or something like everything else in fucking history? I find out about. - I think like 5% of it was true. - I think that was like, most of it was like folklore though. - Yeah, totally. - Like the whole bunion guy. - He was a real person. - Okay, so he's like Jesus. - Yeah, like, as in he was born and he died, but nothing about him is true.

Yeah, exactly. - Okay, got it, okay. By the transitive property, Johnny Appleseed is Jesus. Like that's. - Jesus, but in America. - He was resurrected by apples. - Well, he was resurrected by apples. (laughing) But he came back as a red delicious and no one follows him anymore. - That went to that church. The body of Jesus. - He was bitten to immediately. - The body would just be like a nice piece of apple crisp. - Oh, man, do you taste Jesus this week? Real crunch, man, real good. - Oh, man. - See that cider? (laughing) The blood of Appleseed. (laughing) - Well, I'm ready in hell, so.

- I got a religion to found, I gotta go. - I had a few more levels. (laughing) - I got some paperwork to fill out, guys. (laughing) - Gonna start something real quick. - Finish this LLC. - I just figured out how to not pay taxes. (laughing) - What are we even doing? Food, there's food on this table. You're gonna give me a little bit of food. - Yeah, I'm gonna give you a little bit of food. - Yeah, I'm gonna give you a little bit of food. You're gonna avoid the pie for now. So this room, you can see the hallway where you came down and stuff, but it's very, very bright, like an ethereal light, almost like the blackness behind the bars before, it's that.

But with light, like beyond this table, where like maybe a wall would be or something, it just sort of, it feels like it stretches out into nothingness. And you're gonna hear like a click clop, click clop, click clop. And one lone deer is going to just sort of like wander into the room as it were, kind of like look at you like ear flicks, and then just wander up to the table and just start nibbling fruit off of it. (gentle music) - Well, I guess the feast is for everyone. - Nick. - Does it look like a normal deer, like Bambi-like, or is it, you know, like black deer 'cause hell?

- No, no, like it looks like a full grown deer. Like. - No red antlers. - Nothing, definitely nothing demonic about it. I guess the thing that makes it the weirdest is it's just a fucking deer. Like, you know what I mean? Like you expect it. - It's in the wrong forest. Bambi, this is hell. - Like, why is it part of a challenge? Is it, you know what I mean? Like it's just, you know. - What did he do to get in here? That's what I'm afraid of. - Well, don't fuck with that guy. - Friendliest looking guy in the prison cell. You stay away from that guy. - Cannibal. - I wanna roll insight on this deer.

- Can I, I really want, I know that like Splat seems to be doing okay inside the turkey, but like, I really wanna like, I don't know, like perception check or like investigate this food just to make sure it's safe. - Sure, sure. - Which one would that be? - I would say, gimme like, okay. I'll checking on Splat is free, right? Like just kind of like peeking inside. It's like, "Sarai?" Like, you know, he's just kind of like. - Is he full? Is he still eating? - So by this point, like his little feet have flapped out down there. Like he is on his back within the turkey, flapped out.

- He's uncomfortable. - Like his feet have stretched out and wrapped around the drumsticks. Yeah, like just kind of like holding them. - Okay, Splat, don't make love to it. - No, he's just like very, he's just very satisfied. Like very, like he's just, yeah. You're just gonna, he's like, ah, like just kind of like very, it's like, man, what a good meal. And if you, if you, if you check in on him, there would be like a, it's like, it'll help. Like just kind of like he poked the top of the turkey and like his belly is distended to the point where he can't fit out of the hole that he came in through.

So it's like, ma'am, if you'd be so kind as to just pull on the feet and I'll probably slide, slide right at it, quite pottery. - Oh God, that's just me, not Bella. She'd probably be like, that tracks. Okay, let go of the drumsticks. I can't pull you out if you're hanging on. - There'd be, there'd be like a bit of resistance, like just kind of like, it's like, it's instinct. It's like, but. - Yeah, let go. - Like, and then just let go. - Okay. - You just pull him out like a baby fawn. Like just kind of like, yeah, just. So there'd be kind of like, like as his belly gets to the opening.

- I mentioned like a suction like a (clicks tongue) - Yes, like just a nice little, like just, just like boom. And he like, kind of like drop out and he's holding a little piece of meat in his hand and he's gonna offer that to you. - No, is it the gizzard? - No, no, he's not gross. Like he's just gonna offer you like. (laughs) - I like gizzards, but okay. - Thank you. - I mean. - Rip it out. - I've never had a gizzard, I don't know. - That's what you like. - Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay. And he's just gonna lay, like lay there, just kind of like eyes wide open. 'Cause of course they are like staring up and just kind of like, just zoned out.

Like the beginning of Apocalypse Now, just like fucking, like just staring at the ceiling. - Did he slide back on top of the turkey as his territory, like a mound? - I don't think he's moving right now. - Okay. - If you give me an investigation check, like you can kind of like, just kind of get a baseline for the food. Like just kind of like giving it an eyeball. It's like, oh, well. - Okay, this would be a flat D20, I think. - Ah, oh God. That was, well, it was almost a one, it's a seven. - Seven. - Yeah. So there's nothing, not that this means much, but there's nothing about this food that looks off other than the fact that it's here in this place.

- Right, that's what I'm like, I feel like food in hell, there's something wrong with it. But he seems okay. - But again, this is obviously magic and like whatever. The deer's slightly off-putting maybe. And at one point, the deer is going to grab like a piece of fruit. I'm trying to think of other fruits and all I can think of is fucking apples now. So he's gonna grab an apple. (all laughing) - Okay, oh, like that's not true. - It's the full pumpkin, like a full pumpkin in its mouth. Just, but no, just kind of like- - Drag you by the stem. - Grab an apple and walk over to Josephine.

- Oh. - And like the apples clearly being like presented to you, like the deer's making eye contact. - Oh, Blevins is just gonna say, would you look at that? It's a peace offering, beautiful. - If they want you to eat it, I wouldn't. - Does it, like, if I put my hand on the apple, does it like let the apple go? - Oh yeah, like if you're holding your hand out, yeah, it'll, yeah. 'Cause it's just like gingerly in there. It didn't take a big old bite out of it and like, like, you know, just so it's like, (all laughing) like being very gingerly, like carried over to and it's like, ah, like just kind of like open its mouth.

- Can I, I wanna also, can I touch the deer? Like, can I pet it? Like, let me do that. - Sure. Okay, describe what you're doing, in what way? - Well, I think like with one hand, like should grab the apple and the other, maybe just like run it down, like the front of its face, like the nose part, you know what I mean? - Okay, like in Face/Off, like that thing that John Travolta does. - I was like, you know, like how you like rub the side of like a horse's face, you know, kind of like that, but like it's a deer. - Okay, so it's just kind of a gentle, like the deer type of thing.

- Yeah, yeah. - Okay. - Like, thanks? - And like, it's gonna like kind of hesitate for just a second and then it's like, why are you fucking putting your hands over my eyes? Like it's just, you know, just for a second, like it's like, oh shit. And then it's like, oh, okay, that's nice. And then the deer's actually going to say, oh, that's nice, right there, right there, that's nice. - I knew there was something up with this fucking deer. - I was just gonna cough. - Two new pets. - She'll like stop for a second and then just keep doing it, I guess, like, oh, that startled her, but like maybe it's just like a magical, I don't know.

Actually, hold on, because now that I'm thinking about it, trauma from animals and now it's a talking deer might actually stop touching the deer. Yeah, she's gonna stop, like when it starts talking, just stop and maybe take a step back, like, oh, don't like that. - Red flags. - Yeah. - So like after you take your hand, probably had his eyes closed, like, yeah, that's nice. And then you take your hand away and it's like, okay, I guess we're done with that. - Sassy deer. - Kind of looking around at everybody and like just waiting, like, you know, anybody else want to pet me?

(laughing) - Is it moving its actual like mouth when it's talking or is it like, it disembodied voice? - No, it is like, its lips are making, like it's conjugating verbs and shit it shouldn't be able to with its mouth, like it's, yeah. - We've got a dog. - So it's just in Josephine's face like that was nice. Right back up too. - I mean, it didn't get up in her face, like it's still at deer level, like it's, you know, like. (laughing) - Lark's actively eating, I want to make that clear. He's the only one I think in the group who sat down and is like, it's just got a big bowl of stew or something.

You know, like a dumpling soup maybe, that'd be nice. Hungry, but I want to make a religion check. I don't know a lot about this new Pantheon, but I want to see if maybe anything in the old Pantheon lines up with a deer as an avatar or something like that maybe. - Sure, yeah, yeah. Give me that religion. Roll that beautiful bean footage. - Eight. - Eight. - I'm just thinking about soup. - Yeah, I mean, stew is good. - Look at your father's soup. - Oh, beef soup sucks. - Right? - I feel like a lot of the new Pantheon, there's so much that it's like, well, all bets are off.

Fuck it, like, I don't know what's going on. But like, I think the first thing that would spring to your mind is like nature, like maybe nature, I don't know. But at the same time, like you're having a feast, like that, you know, maybe that's a clue or maybe like whatever, I don't know. Like none of it really makes a ton of sense so far. - So Mark will just say he's got a mouthful of soup. He's like, so are you just from the gods or what? - He's gonna turn around kind of awkwardly 'cause it's the deer and kind of, you know, walk on over and did you get a bowl of soup or just take the whole pot of soup and just start like- - I was thinking bowl, but the pot would be a much more lard maneuver.

So he's probably just got like a ladle and is eating it out of the pot, yeah. - It's a big feast, so you probably ration like, oh, I could just have this to myself. - There's other soups at the table. - Right, he got a whole fucking turkey. Like I don't even feel like, yeah. - Oh, those are the rules we're playing by, okay. - I call soup, like just soup. - Every splat for himself. - And this deer's gonna like kind of clop over to you. Well, it's for me, so eat up. You made it halfway so far. That's calls for celebration, right? - Blevins is just gonna say, I'm sorry, deer.

I don't mean to be rude, but who are you? Do you answer to someone, a master maybe? - He's gonna do the lion King thing of like bending, like bending one, like kind of like taking a bow. Ambry, God of celebration, merriment. And again, this is calls for celebration. Please eat as much as you want. I saw you checking for poison, no poison, I swear. Again, deer lips, like one of those shitty commercials where they make babies talk like deer lips. - The horse where they put peanut butter under his lips. - Yes. - Yeah. Okay. Bella will probably start talking into like.

- All right then. - Can I insight check that and then I'll trust it and I'll eat some. - Sure. - Boom. - Oh, 16. Oh my God, a good roll. Yeah, that's like, seems on the level, like it doesn't seem like there's any line. Also people have been eating for a bit and like no one's died. - And seem fine, right. - I mean, Splaat's borderline unconscious, but his eyes never close. So it's really difficult. Like his belly is just kind of like, it's kind of like. - Is his tongue out? - His tongue out. - I love him so much. If he dies, I will be very sad. - A very important question about Splaat.

Do his eyes point in the same direction? - Oh, please say no. - It's okay, almost. (all laughing) It's one of those things like, okay, have you ever been over to somebody's house and they've hung portraits and one of them is like half a centimeter higher than the other one and now you can't unsee it. One of his eyes is just like, like just a little bit, just the tiniest bit. - Oh, I love him. - Okay, good, good, good. - He's my favorite. (chuckles) - So Largo will actually try to catch Joe's eye with that and basically be like, this is one of the gods and he'll like finish, not the whole pot of soup, but like enough and like wipe his mouth off and he'll like offer a bow or whatever he feels is appropriate 'cause he has a religion score and I don't.

But like, thank you for this. This is a welcome surprise compared to the dinosaur. - Yeah, sorry about that. There's a big adjustment obviously and we really appreciate your patience. But we kind of have to have you go through the paces if you're doing to just leave hell. We're still sorting through things, but we assume you were put here for a reason. There was, you've all done horrible, terrible things I'm guessing. - Oh no, I'm not even dead. These guys, well, I know she's fine and pointing to Tatiana, like she's cool. I don't really know. (laughs) - Bryce is probably the most morally gray person in the group.

(laughs) - Never done anything bad to me, so. - I never saw nothing except for the attempted robbery of a casino, but that's in the past. - The kids was murderers, but those aside. - Yeah, all those murders, but they were all bad people. No, but he's like, actually, I think most of the people down here have been coming here for almost no reason. That's been like a big theme of us walking around down here. So is it like everybody gonna have to do this or how's that gonna work? - This deer is gonna smile at you, which is probably one of the most unsettling things.

Like it's just wrong, you know? 'Cause like, it's how does that even work is like, like just kind of like, it looks dumb. - Yeah, I can't imagine it in any way other than early 2000s CG. - Like, yeah. - Yes. - Yeah, just Josh and you, we know all about it. We've been pretty busy, which is why up there on the mortal realm, we really haven't done too much. We've been sort of getting ready for a soft open, if that makes any sense. You were a pretty devout follower when you were alive, correct? - I tried. - Well, we're hoping we can count on you in the future.

We obviously have a lot to make up for, we know that, but we're gonna be approaching things a little differently in the coming months. And we just want you to know that there is a plan. It's just, well, things weren't working before. I think you can agree. - It was a little weird a couple of times, yeah. I don't know, got kind of confusing after a while, to be honest. - The deer's gonna sit down, like a dog, like sit down. Again, just... - It's the weirdest deer. - Not how deer sit, but okay. (all laughing) - It's how this deer sits. - Oh, this whole situation is really freaking Joe out. 'Cause like...

(all laughing) It's fine, it's great. - Tatiana has seen weirder shit. This is not crazy to her. She's like, oh yeah, talking deer in hell, sure. - I mean, most of us are like, oh, it's a god, okay, cool. Let's talk to him. - Oh, okay, nice. - I think that's the only thing keeping Joe from like totally freaking out is like, okay, this is a god, it's fine. - Blevins has his hands on his head and he's just kind of whispering to himself. Like just trying to keep it together. - Ambry's, okay. Ambry's gonna like kind of like look around the room, kind of taking you guys in.

And if he doesn't, if he notices that people aren't eating, there'd be one more mentions like, still not poisoned. It's fine. Just trying to be reassuring. - Nice little tour guide. - Also, since you've made it this far and in record time, by the way, this is quite the feat. The dinosaur usually trips people up, I'll be honest, but good on you. You get to ask three questions, as long as I get to ask each of you a question. - I'm not gonna lie, each of you a question. If those terms seem agreeable, then we can proceed. The questions come as a group, by the way, you should talk them over.

It's pretty big deal. - Okay. Question one, what is the meaning of it all, right? Like... - Are we huddled for this? Is that what we're doing? - I would hope so. (laughter) - I thought that was just question one. It's like, oh, and we're off. (laughter) - Well, I don't know what questions. I don't think Tatiana has any questions. 'Cause like we have a set path to go. Does anybody have any character personal questions that they'd wanna ask a god? - Yeah. - So Larg was really relieved, but suddenly looks a little concerned. He says, "I wanna know how many people have done this?" She said the dinosaur trips people up.

I thought we were the first. Like, why is this? Like, why does this happen a lot? - That's a pretty good question. I concur. - I almost, Bella would say she was, I'm almost curious if they can tell us what we can expect going forward. Like, what do we have to look forward to? Or what kind of challenges might we face? There we go. (sniffing) Yeah, that's another good one. Oh, how about, how do we unmerge them? (laughter) That would be helpful, right? - Can we just have the deer take care of Darmah? - Can you just murder half of this guy for us? - Just pull the demon out and just kill it.

- Hold still. - Which one's the real Blevins? - You refer over to Blevins, and he's like absentmindedly looking for napkins, 'cause he started sweating profusely. Are they napkins on the table, Jason? - Like fancy cloth napkins, yeah. - Yes, or something, that'll work. - That's a good third question though, I think, honestly. Like, it's more of a request, really, but. - For our third question, could we get a favor? - All right. - What's first, and who's gonna ask it? 'Cause then he gets to ask you a question. - That's true, I think he's gonna ask all of us a question anyway, right?

- Oh, okay. - It's true. - Okay, so Largo will turn around and look at the deer, and he'll ask the same question, I'll say, "So you said that a lot of other people had trouble with the dinosaur. How long has this been going on? Like, how many people have gone through this? Because we thought that this was like new." (gentle music) - Oh, you mean the tower? - Yeah. - You are the first group to go through the tower, yet we have tried these challenges out on other trapped souls. The dinosaur usually just tears them to shreds over and over again. We would try it at least 100, 150 times to make sure that we'd get the same results, and almost every time they die horrifically, so.

- Oh. - Like it's gonna clap its hooves together, like good job. - So Largo's asked a follow-up question, he's like, "Oh no, that would be the next question, no, okay." (both laughing) And then he just kinda like bites his lip and takes a step back. - Would you mind if I ask you a question? - Yep, that's the deal. - Why'd you cast yourself into the portal? - Well, it wasn't my first choice. It's just the only way to get Darmok out, you know, we were trying to stop him from escaping hell and we did, but this was the price. Not the way we planned it, but what ended up happening.

(both laughing) There's gonna be a long pause and like, and then his eyes are gonna shift over to Blevins. Well, next question. - His gaze just kinda hurts a little. - Yeah, just, just. Like you could tell like, Ambry almost wanted to ask you a follow-up question, it's like, okay, well, those aren't the rules, like that's not fair, like, you know. (both laughing) - Vela will then probably, you know, I guess take a step forward to be like, what challenges can we expect moving forward or upwards through the tower? - Well, from here on out, it's the rest of us.

And they're not all gonna throw you a feast, I hope you understand. There's a lot of probing, there's a lot of questions. There's no, what, no, what? (both laughing) - All right, well, let's get started. (both laughing) - Count me in. So sorry. (both singing) - Say no more. - I have to eat an alien abduction. - Yeah. - Larg goes up a step and just Bruce Almighty's his clothes off. (both laughing) All right, sorry, go ahead. - Oh my God, you're a mother, come on. Like you're a grown ass woman. (both laughing) - They're not all going to be as welcoming. There's a great deal of the Pantheon who doesn't wanna see anyone escape this place.

They think it would be easier if we just paved over everything and moved on. (soft music) Now let me ask you a question. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? - Is this directed to Vella or to everybody? - No, this is directly to Vella. - Okay. One thing in the world? Oh my goodness. Oh, that's tough. Oh no. Oh no. Hadn't thought about that. After thinking it over for a minute, she'd probably be like, ah. (soft music) I'd get rid of slavers. - Again, like a suitable pause and then, and Ambyr's gonna shift over to Tatiana. Would you mind if I ask you a question?

- Don't we get one more? - Well, I have to ask all of your questions and there are five of you. - All right. - We can wait if you'd like, but. - Sure, sure. - If you make it out of this place and you return to the mortal realm, your loyalty is eventually going to be tested. Are you ready for such a test? - I would like to think so. My loyalties have only ever lied with myself in the end. (clears throat) (soft music) - Ah, he's gonna let it go. He's just gonna be like, okay. - You have to, those are the rules. - That's fair. - Unless you can wish for more wishes, in which case?

- That would make for a very long session. - Yeah. - Well, if you have your third question ready. Do we wanna ask the unstuck one or do one of you wanna ask your followup question? - I feel like the unstuck one's probably the most pertinent. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. Yeah, how are we supposed to unmerge these two? Lebens and Darmok? (soft music) Well, at the end of the day, everyone's responsible for their own choices. It's nothing we can do for you, but this will have to be dealt with before you leave, if you leave. - As in Blevins just kind of, I'm like, you know, he hears his name.

It's almost like he's being called back into presence and he's just kind of gonna take a step back and put his hands up and say, I'm right as rain. I don't think we need to worry about something as insignificant as what I've done in the past. - As a question for you, good man, why would you allow yourself to become part of something so toxic that we wouldn't take it in with us? Why would you? - Blevins is peering very hard at the deer. He's trying to say something, but it's almost like he's struggling against his own will. He's gonna keep struggling for a little bit.

Then after a long silence, he's just gonna say, you tried to keep him out. You've all tried. It will not work. (Deeb laughs) - I'm sorry, did you say something? - Deer's gonna look back to you. Yeah, that's gonna have to be dealt with before you leave. - I'm sorry. - He's gonna kind of like wave a hoof in the air. You're fine. - Did you have a question for me? - Just wave the hoof again, no. - Rude deer, what can I say? - Ambry's gonna look at Lark. Well, that just leaves one more question. If you have the time. - Me or like point over at Josephine? - We'll get to Josephine.

- Okay. You sacrificed yourself to save your friends. And that from the outside appears to be purely altruistic, which is rare. We don't witness many of those acts. Would you have done the same if you knew that some or more of your teammates were working against your calls in any way? - So he thought he knew where that question was gonna go, but it zigs when he thought it was gonna zag. So he kind of stops for a second and he goes, well, yeah, because we still needed to keep a demon from escaping into the world. So, I mean, even if they were all, you know, not my friends, I still would have done it.

- There's gonna be like, the deer's gonna nod its head and kind of like raise a hoof, I'm gonna keep an eye on you. You're interesting. (laughs) I broke the rules, I'm sorry, Josephine. How was the food? (laughs) - God, she definitely did not eat that apple that they brought over to her. (laughs) - I think, well, 'cause like she was kind of gravitating towards like, if there was like some pastries or something. So like when that question is asked, she just says, we grabbed like the nearest pastry and just shoved it in her mouth. Like, that's fine. That's great.

(laughs) - Deer just has like an iPad with like a Yelp review. Just how was it? (laughs) - Grab it at five, so good. And then it's really dry, so now I need something, now she needs something to drink. - Oh man, people know when you're lying about their cooking too. So it's like, oh, all right, fine. So Deer's gonna stand up and sort of like, kind of like not stomp, but like clip clomp around the room, like looking at all of you. Well, this has been fun, but I need to be getting on my way. And I'm sure when you've all had your fill, you're going to need to continue your journey.

I wish you luck, of course. It's not going to be easy, most likely, but I'm sure you all know what you're doing. If we meet again someday, I'll be sure to pick your brains a bit more. (soft music) - And Mark will do like a little courteous bow or something like that. And say, thanks for the food and the information. - If I may, and you can all do as you like, this is none of my business, but this isn't, this isn't a journey that most people are meant to succeed at. It's going to be difficult and well, you're all going to need to rely on each other. I would just appreciate that, the fact that you have each other to lean on.

It's a rarity. And just kind of clip-clop off into the light. And then that sort of fades off into nothing and no more deer. - We should have asked how we leave this level, guys. Fuck. (laughing) - Well, I guess we're stuck on the food level forever. - We're stuck here returning. - Oh, no. - Shoot. - No. - Yeah, I feel like there's a big, long pregnant pause and everybody's like, is it appropriate to keep eating or? (laughing) - You always feel weird after you talk to a God. - Yeah. I'm still kind of hungry, but just feel right. - I mean, they ate stuff, so I think it's fine.

I think that was to make you feel a little bit better. You know what I mean? Like if someone just walks in, it's like they're judging, but like, it's like, yeah, yeah, some grapes, it's fine. Like, you know. Guys, I think it's a good time for us to stop for the evening. And I think we'll pick up next time with you, one of you rolling and we'll see what level we get to. - Cool. Over halfway. - We're moving on up that tower. - Yeah. - But we still have a lot to figure out along the way, like how to unmerge. I'm not gonna call anything out, but like he didn't really answer my question.

- Just like, oh, that's a problem. - Oh yeah, you're gonna have to do that. And then I was like, you know what, to be fair, he didn't say we had to answer the question. It's just that he was gonna ask them. - Yeah, there's a, like you had to answer truthfully. It's like, yeah, that is an issue. (laughing) - Yeah, about that. - Just kind of long personally. - Good luck. - Yeah, I would think you-- - Don't think it's that big of a deal. It's like if Scooby and Shaggy merged together, you know, we're just having fun. - It's like, if a God can't tell us how to do it, maybe it's not possible.

But we'll find out on the next episode of Dungeons and Randomness. (laughing) - Karen. - Hi. - Tell them what the beautiful people have won. What did they win? - Thank you guys so much for listening to our episode. Don't forget to support us at patreon.com/dnr and we'll see you next time. (soft music) (soft music)