Give it a Flick

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That kind of thing means the world and it helps us keep the lights on. Of course, if you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like, subscribe, comment, and share, do all that good algorithm stuff. And without further ado, let's get on with the day's episode. (gentle music) (gentle music) - Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table, starting with Valerie. - Oh, hello everyone. I'm Valerie and I play Matilda, the human rogue. - And Michael. - Hey, I'm Michael and I play Fenris, the human warlock charlatan.

- And Ian. - You got Ian, I play the Thetan, oh fuck, what is it? - Endurance. - There we go. - And James. - Hi, it's James, I play Dagon, the Eladrin, Endurance. - You're welcome for remembering that word. - Yeah, I would've forgotten, absolutely. (laughing) - You switch up for one of you happens to go first. - I know you got my back next time, James. - I know a lot of people do. - And last and certainly not least, Kelsey. - I'm Kelsey and I play Calypso Lovelace, half-elf bard. - My goodness, why it seems like just last week we sat down and played. It's unprecedented.

- In fact, it was. - Today marks the very first time and unless the power goes out or we lose internet or this file becomes corrupted, I don't know, but. - What else could go wrong? - An ominous knocking at the door. - I was knocking on wood because Jason is trying to jinx us again. - I would never. - But today is probably the first day your group, S group hits the road, leaves this town and rolls a travel die. But before we get to all that, there was some drinking done the previous night and. - Mainly tanny, I think. - And the rat. - Drink a lot and the rat.

- Don't be. - Though, don't be knows his limits. - But yeah, tanny is gonna wake up and I need, okay. We know she passed out. We know she didn't handle her liquor very well. And what I need to do now is do a little bit of a constitution saving role and just kind of see. - I mean, she did real badly when that happened last session. - She did, yeah. But like this is next day, like hangover type stuff. So like. - Oh, so this is the next day? - Yes, I think picking up the next morning is probably the most serviceable thing to do. So she's gonna get up and just kind of like, oh, like just that pain right behind the eyes.

It's a little bit too bright. It's probably noonish probably like, I don't know. How late do you guys think you guys were out? - I didn't think it was that late. - No. - I brought the midnight region probably. - Yeah, midnight. - Like that sort of. - Okay, so this is when she's waking up. That doesn't mean that's when you guys woke up. Like I'm just putting that out there. You all were responsible adults, specifically Dagon. Very responsible adult. - And I think like, I don't know if the theta would have had any thoughts on this light clip. So I would have gotten some like, this they probably have, I mean, I probably have like a one bedroom kind of apartment.

So they have, I imagine some sort of couch sort of thing. They would have like, they're like, okay, well, like I, like they have some like spare like blankets and pillows. They can set up like a bed on there and then like something on the floor. It's like, okay, I don't know who takes what. But like. - Yeah, yeah, I think when they come to Calypso's apartment, the theta lays Tani on the couch and finds somewhere on the floor to go and waits for everyone to go to sleep. And then he eats all them wings, baby. Shoves them right in his little fadissy. - Is that the technical term?

(laughing) - Yup. - For those of you who don't know. - Yeah, it's Latin. (laughing) - I checked out. For those of you who don't know, the way a theta eats, because they don't have mouths, their chest cavity opens up and anything, any meat, they're carnivores. So any meat that's placed in there is sort of dissolved slowly as this is. So usually when they're chest cavity. - To be fair, that's kind of how we eat too. - Yes, but not like there's no chewing. There's no, it's more of like. - Like a Venus fly trap. - Like a snake. - A little bit. They kind of, they almost eat like a fly, but it's internal.

So like sometimes their chest cavity closes up, but it doesn't close all the way. It's like a full trashcan. And then slowly, but surely throughout the night, it kind of like compacts itself. It is for those not initiated, a gross spectacle. And when you add hot sauce and that acidic, that acidic bile that sort of breaks things down, it can be a stinky affair too. It is, pungent is the word I would use, pungent. - And fun fact about thedens, actually that I know, because they don't have mouths, they don't have taste buds in their mouths, right? There's still one place they have taste buds.

And that's their butthole. - I was gonna say the anus. (all laughing) - Really? - Jason looks confused. - No, no, no, no, no. - No, I was told that. No, like that, someone told me that, so. - Who told you that? - It's facts, someone told me. - Are you getting bootleg wish theria information on the sheet? (all laughing) - I think that like Brie told you this is like a joke. - Listen to her. - Okay, I'll tell you who, it was God. - Damn it. - My man. - Wow. (all laughing) - Jehovah. (all laughing) - So anyways. - Should we go with that though? - No. - Okay. - No. (all laughing) - Colossal also would have shown that they did in the bathroom because I mean, that was something that they had talked about previously anyways.

So like that's. - Oh, right, yes, yes. So he completely disrobes in front of you and puts his smelly pants somewhere neat because he's not a slob and takes a little bath. - Clips of gas press the digitization of the clothes. (all laughing) - That's presumably that's within the size range. That's they couldn't do like a whole person unless it's in like piece at a time. But I think the pile of clothes they can handle. So that's at least better. - Cool, cool, yeah. So we're slept, we're fed, we're bathed. I like to kick off sessions with a very low stakes, silly role.

Kels on a scale of one to 10, can we roll to see how comfortable your couch situation is? Like a one is that shitty futon with an iron bar that you have to let in. - Like this is like to see to me, it's like as I flew close to this place, it's like fairly nice, but it's like, is the couch there for more decorative or comfort purposes? - You have friends over often, do you? - Yeah, it's like, 'cause you can get a hat that like looks really pretty, but it's like sitting on this like, I am also very curious. - Sit on one third of the couches and like, oh, it's a 10.

- What's a 10? Okay, nevermind. - I thought it was a zero. (all laughing) - I just thought that's what it was at first. - Didn't know that. - Kep swallows Tani up, it is a no. - No. - Calypso, shout out on this couch. (laughs) - Damn. I don't think I've ever sat on a 10 of a couch. I don't know if any of us have. - Wow. - It's stolen from like a Royal place or a gift for. - Okay, from now on, if, and you guys are gonna hit the road, I know, maybe we'll take the couch and move it into your mansion. - Yeah, I mean, we have a two-bedroom, the couch is coming with us.

- Yeah, it's like, that's a $6,000 couch. That comes with it. - You don't leave that couch unattended. - Anybody who sleeps on that couch gets super rested for the evening, like you're getting double XP or something. Like that's what we're gonna do. It's like if you log out in an inn in Wow or something, that's what we're gonna do. - Tani doesn't have a hangover sleeping on this amazing pouch. - I would even say like, if you have to roll, like you get advantage or something, like it's like, okay. So she, so, okay, she is gonna wake up eventually. And let's say, you know, you guys have been up, maybe she smells breakfast or something, like you guys have been up a bit.

And while not like crazy hungover, it's more a wash in shame. 'Cause it's kind of like moaning. It's like, oh, I can't believe I passed out in front of Dagon. Like just kind of like- - Okay, well, at least she like remembers the evening. So that's a good start. - Yes, well, I think also it's like, okay, wait, I woke up in this strange place. - Yeah. - Like, no, okay, wait, I'm piecing together. Ah, hell, like it's one of those. So it could have been one of those. It's like, oh, I wanted to show off and like, oh man. And then think of it, it's like, he didn't even have a single drink.

I look like an alcoholic. Like that kind of like downward spiral. Oh man. So yeah, she's gonna be, she's gonna be just really embarrassed and bummed about it. But like, yeah, other than that, like nothing going on with her. Other than the existential dread, nothing, she's fine. - I mean, it's just a teenager thing. Like, let's be honest. - Look, we've all gotten super plastered at a Hooters when we were 16 and you know, like things happen. - That old chestnut. - Story as old as time. - So clean, fed, everyone else waking up, like Dagon, you have money. So you're probably sleeping on a nice couch too, right?

Like. - Best room in the house. - He took the bed. 'Cause it was a hotel, right? 'Cause me and him went to a place. - Are we staying in the same room? - Sweet or something. Yeah, that's a good question, are you? - You would take on a shelf house. - Yeah, there's no way. - I doubt it. - He probably would have got his own room. - I probably would have gotten mine, but I would have gotten it in a place that I could make sure he didn't sneak out. (laughing) 'Cause I like, I convinced him, but then it's like, well, is he gonna be like, oh no, screw that. Later on in the middle of the night.

- Get cold feet, you don't want to. - You really think he'd sneak out? - I mean, it's been a crazy 24 hours. - I think I would. - I'd be more worried about him getting kidnapped than him sneaking out. - That's true. - At this point, he's not had a great evening. - Although now he probably looks more closer to the Brightport standard than super shiny. - Yeah, he smells a bit like alcohol, so that helps, but. - I think he definitely would have asked at the front desk if there was a laundering service to get his clothes cleaned up. - Should you roll for that?

- You know, I- - Roll for cleanliness? - Roll to see if there's a lot of jurors, and then if there is, like how good it is, that might be fun. What do they do with your clothes? - I think we could roll for amenities as a whole, right? Like you stayed in a place and like, you know, like you're obviously shelling out for a suite. Like you're not staying, you don't fly coach as it were. - No. - So, you know what, give me, just give me a 1D 10 and let's see how well they treat you. Obviously, if they're gunning for like closer to 10, they're shooting for tips, right?

But like- - It's like, are they the type to be like, you know, accepting of this money I would like to spend or are they the type to say, screw you, I'm gonna steal your money when you're sleeping? - Or just, I don't wanna work hard. - Yeah. - Like that's like, whenever you- - Quit quitting. - Oh God, no. - Quit quitting. - Michael, leave. (all laughing) - You mean just doing your damn job. - Yeah, just working nine to five and just earning the pay that you get. - Just surviving. - Yeah. - Right. - What are you trying to pay rent, you loser? (all laughing) - All right.

- Grind. - You gotta grind. - Working at a hotel also like sucks, so. - Oh my God, I can't imagine. - I keep getting these TikToks with people at customer service and it's always just on them and you can hear someone in the background being a complete asshole and it's, oh. - Yeah. - It kills my soul. Anyway, sorry. - So five, so what's the Therian version of "The Comforter" or something, I don't know. (all laughing) - Yeah, it's like a best Western. It's like, honestly, I would recommend staying at a True if you could find a True on the road, it's very nice.

You get to make your own breakfast in the morning. They have a pancake machine and an omelet maker and all kinds of stuff. Beautiful rooms, very pet friendly. So yeah. Also, if I see one more dick face who was on "Shark Tank" as one of the millionaires talking about quiet quitting and how none of their employees, go fuck yourself. Die in a fire, you don't even pay taxes. I just can't. (all laughing) - I hate my whole asshole. - Yes. - Yeah, I'm so with that. - Sorry, whoever the bald one is, really fuck that guy. (all laughing) None of my people work like that.

- Yeah, Ian. (all laughing) - Not all the cool bald people are claiming that guy. - Not all the men on this podcast. I'm not cool bald. - We don't claim that asshole. Sorry. (all laughing) - Look forward to our Keep sponsorship sometime in January. (all laughing) - Keeps give me a call. - Is there anything in this city that you guys wanna wrap up before we all meet at the libraries or any shopping, any errands? - I wanted to check in with G to see if anything came out of them going after them to see if maybe a book came back or if anything came up and just check in before I go after he sent those guards to the tavern.

- So they did. They did apprehend a lot of them. And there were lots of witnesses willing to point out that, yeah, it's these assholes who were fighting, they ruined my eggs, like that type of thing. Like two witnesses in particular. They were like, yeah, they threw a spunk covered blanket into my eggs and then fucking threw a pot. Like they were assholes. So let's do another D10. On a scale of one to 10, let's see how much stuff they've recovered. So they did arrest them. Let's see like, you know, if they found anything cool in, you know. - Okay. - Ooh. - Seven.

- Right. - Seven. - Yeah. - They obviously took all their weapons and all their stuff. And it's like, look, we're gonna sort through all this just to see what's stolen and what's not. And then they find that journal. It's like, you didn't write this. Like one, it's a nicer paper than you've ever even seen in a store. So like, you know, so like they've confiscated all that. So if you're breaking it down, it's like, hey, did you find a really nice book on some really nice stationary, like not '80s Trapper Keeper, but like one of those rocket books that you pay a lot of money for and it digitizes everything.

It's like, cool. Yeah, if you found one of those, like that would go a long way in smoothing over some of this nonsense with Dagon, he would give that to you outright. Like no questions asked. It's like, oh yeah, like he probably thumbed through it a bit, it's like, oh, this poor guy. Like this poor. (laughing) It's like some of the, it's like Dear Mommy, like some of them start that way. It's like, oh Jesus. (laughing) When have they ever? (laughing) Not starting out Dear Mommy. This is his journal. That's not in there, okay? It is not in there. (laughing) For the record.

Okay. I thought there was more stuff in there though. We've gone over it last time. We talked about the journal. Thank you for taking control. Thank you for taking control of that, James. Well, after the last one, Mommy, Mommy Gate, whatever that crap was. We're not doing that again. (laughing) That is not the name of this episode. I am doing a disservice to everyone else. (laughing) Let me just write that down. Mommy Gate. I want people to listen to our group. (laughing) Do you think that's with a hyphen or is it all just one? What do you think? It's definitely all one word.

I mean, I'm assuming it's a hashtag. That's pretty good. #MommyGate. #MyFavoriteBodyPart. (laughing) #FYP? Definitely. #FYP. #BiscuitTalk. Yeah, I definitely think he would ask and be like, 'cause since he brought it up and I know about it, I was like, "You happened to find this book thing." And I knew they were, I remember him joking about it and also just kinda making sure that everything is good. Yeah, he would give this to you. And then basically telling you he's also gonna be leaving. Okay. Awesome. And yeah, that's, again, according to plan, he gave you a stipend to just like, "Please get that guy out of town before something terrible." It's like, good.

He has his possessions back. He has his embarrassing journal. Everything's good. Just take care of him. Make sure nothing happens to him and come back in like a week or so. Just until we can get this smoothed over, okay? Okay, so the others are only gonna be here for like a week? Do we know how long or is that just a guess? It's, the guess is around a week because they, in their letter, made a big deal about not wanting to stay in this festering hellhole any longer than is necessary, which is the standard Aladrin greeting. (laughing) They just can't handle the specialty at his high point.

That's also just how most you ask. That's how most people talk about Brightport. So like, you know. It's a compliment these days. So I don't know. I would say where we're going, just that he will be out of town. And I don't think he cares. - That sounds so ominous. (laughing) - I think, like you've been pretty helpful up until now. And it's like, he's not thinking about that problem. Like if you tell him, it's like, we're going to Haunted Mansion. It's like, that would be, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. But right now it's just like, yes, get him out and let me.

He's in a real Aurora Borealis situation, right? Like it's just a fire he's trying to put out. And like, you know what I mean? He's just trying to get you out of the house while the kitchen burns down. Like it doesn't matter, you know, where you go, just leave. - It's all about associating me with all of his success. - Yes, sure. - That's all Fenris is thinking personally. - Okay. (laughing) - 'Cause he needs to be like, ah, I bring good things. You need me on your side. So, and this might help in the future or it may not. You never know. - One more non sequitur, I promise for the show.

I'll never do it again. But I take notes on my iPad. - You probably should get a key. - I'm lying to you right now. I take notes on my iPad and I get notifications late. And what popped up was Michael's Jinco Jeans senior class picture. Like it just popped up and it's just like, as you're talking to me, he's like, keep it at cash. Like, he's just like, like. (laughing) You gotta watch behind the scenes guys. 'Cause like, that's, it's like, man, like one, nothing has changed except he grew a beard. Like it's really unfair. It honestly isn't fair. Them jeans that you just, not the Jinco jeans, but like your jeans, like it's good, good jeans.

Anyway. - But also those jeans, you are wearing them right now. - Yeah. (laughing) He's sitting in a chair. You can't even see the chair. It just kind of like encompasses like, yeah. Anyway. (laughing) - So the library, or do you have something you gotta do? - I just, it doesn't have to take much time, but I think that Thetan wants to, he would find a time to like slip out and just let everyone in the alley that he's staying know, you know, just like, hey, I'm gonna be gone for a few days. I'm not dead, but I'm like doing this job, you know? So like, that's what I'm doing.

It's just checking in with the alley people. - Before Thetan goes in first, I like I'd assume at some point in the morning, like Tani's probably gonna like take a shower and stuff after the previous night. So like while she's like visiting the bathroom and stuff, 'cause she's gonna have a chat with Thetan. That's okay. - Yeah, yeah, absolutely. He's putting back on his pants. - Also just such question, like out of character, like how often do Thetan need to eat? Like, is it like a snake kind of thing where they like eat big meals every like once in a while or?

- I'm not sure. Oh, go ahead, sorry. - Oh, I was just gonna answer. I don't know if Val would want to chime in with some stuff to cram up your butt or whatever. (laughing) - If you, so they usually have to eat at least a little something each day. It doesn't have to be huge, but obviously the larger the meal they eat, the more they can kind of coast off of that. But yeah, they're big meat eaters and like that, that like, it depends on what they do in a day kind of. So if he's just kind of like chilling, he can coast a couple of days off that. - Okay, cool.

Yeah, we can play a little bit. - He's pretty hungry too. - Yeah, yeah. - That's what I was imagining is he's been pretty hungry. - Yeah, Quips I would imagine probably made something pretty like basic, like pancakes or something just like (laughing) or something, yeah, they would definitely offer them to the thetan. Like they probably don't know exactly what thetan's eating habits are. It's like, what things you can have them, but it's, they are there for you to eat if you would like them. - Oh, he nods his head and politely declines, but he does rip a chunk of flapjack off for Dumpy, who seems to enjoy it.

- Good, yes. Oh, the beady little tiny pancake, oh that's so cute. (laughing) I love rats and they have little tiny hands. Yeah, so Quips will probably at some point, yeah, like sit down like across from like the table or counter or whatever from the thetan just. - So before we embark on all of this, I wanted to talk to you specifically. I don't know exactly how it works, but I know that thetan can see into people's minds, correct? - He kind of shrugs and says, and writes, sort of, we speak with each other. - Yeah, and they kind of nod and like, they're trying very hard to understand even though it's like a completely foreign concept, but they are doing their best.

And that's why you're using the chalk because the way that you usually speak is considered invasive amongst the rest of us. - It can be uncomfortable. They kind of like sit back a little bit, like they're like kind of trying to like work up the like courage to say that. Before we go on this potentially dangerous venture and everything and just if you're wanting to work with me, you can go ahead and do that if you want. Just there might be a point if we're in danger where we need to communicate quickly. And well, if you can see things about me that I don't necessarily tell other people, then I'd rather just to go ahead and have everything on the table, so to say.

Sorry, I'm not used to being honest about everything. - He kind of nods at you and writes, we can't read minds, we share and hear and he points at his head and in your head. - Mm-hmm. - But if you want to speak with me, we can. - Yeah, okay. I think that would be good. I mean, it sounds like something I would be interested in experiencing anyways. It's different from what I'm used to, of course, but it doesn't sound bad necessarily. Thank you for sharing that with me. - He writes, thank you. And then he writes, it helps to focus on one thing. - Calypso's gonna focus on Dumpy, because that is an easy thing to be looking at and just like.

- Okay, okay. - It's a good big rat right there. - Yeah, he's munching. - Yeah. - The Thetan, the Thetan, the Thetan, the Thetan, the Thetan sees that you're looking at Dumpy and he's like, personal thing. - Oh, okay. (laughs) It lifts the laughs and kind of like, plushes a bit. Okay, and I think they're gonna kind of like, probably like close their eyes and they're gonna think about like, music probably, like thinking just like, in their head, like going through like, some of like the songs they're currently playing and just like, is that something that's very like, part of them pretty much?

I mean, that's how their magic like is expressed. And so just like in their head, like thinking about playing the violin. - And the Thetan puts down his slate and he just sort of like, he looks right at Calypso and he's got these big black and yellow eyes that don't blink and he's staring at them. And then inside your head, suddenly it feels like very intrusive. There is a cacophony of thought and it's all over and it's not like you're being invaded it's almost like all of your thoughts, everything that you think in your brain are suddenly like broadcast.

They're like being broadcast and not only broadcast, but they are being available to everyone else that can listen. And it's sort of this like cacophonous whirlwind of your thoughts and emotions at the speed of thought 'cause it's just like boom, boom, boom. You know, when we think like we're thinking so fast and it's just blurring together. And there's also a bunch of like thoughts and emotions and images that aren't yours. They seem like they're coming from somewhere else but the thoughts are becoming so jumbled together that it's almost like, well, where are my thoughts begin and where are these other ones?

And I'm having trouble like, I'm having trouble keeping a sense of identity because of all of this noise. And there's like music, you mentioned music so there's like violins and like symbols clashing and all of this stuff. And then like through that cuts the sound of a bell, like one of those like temple bowl bells, you know? Like boom. And you suddenly get the sensation or the feeling of something very strong but also very bitter like coffee or tea. It's a very like bitter, rich thing. And you get the sensation of something like incredibly sweet, like icing.

And so there's this bitter and this sweet and they contrast with each other but they form like something very different together. They compliment each other, this bitter and sweet. And the sensation of these two things and also the feeling that this is temporary and it's not meant to last forever. It's a moment, this bitter and this sweet. And then the bell kind of like fades and the Thetan looks at you and he writes my name and he points to himself. The clip was probably gonna take a few moments to kind of get their bearings after that. I imagine like at first, like there was a lot of like panic and then like instinctively trying to like block it off but then trying to tamp down on that instinct because like they're trying to be like open to that.

But then definitely like, you know, they're very appreciative of that last moment, like especially like that's like, and then I think kind of just yeah, like take a few moments to sort of like come back to their senses and... So that's your name, thank you. Would you like me, is there a way you, do you want to be called your name in the spoken language? - It's hard to translate to spoken language, but you can call me that, yes. Is this your music? - Yes. - Right. And coming from like the way that like Calypso probably feels mentally is there's just this like, a sensation that's like would be like translated sort of at the same time being sound in sight of it's like violin song that's making up it's like golden light and butterfly wings.

But there's a sense of like, there's like a shadow if you look for it, that it's casting and that just has this sort of, a bit of ominous like depth to it all. - My music is me, it's always has been. It's hard to explain in words, but I guess I don't have to. - You try to protect yourself with words, a lot of words to try and keep your motivations known from other people and yourself. But those words aren't palisades, it's a prison. - I play music with my violin, I play other things with words that's, how I've always been, I don't, this not playing is not entirely new, but I haven't done full honesty in a long time since the last time I saw my family.

And even then there's, I don't know, I suppose I am hiding things from myself, I think, I don't know if you've spoken to many other people here like this, but I feel like that's probably not uncommon, especially not in this city. - You get the sense and feeling of like leaving a friend for a very long time and you see or feel like another Thetan and like saying goodbye. And he says, yeah, yes, it's very lonely. It's a lonely way to live for all of you. And then you get the sensation of going into a cave, like that curiosity, but also fear and probing.

And he says, there's something you wanna show me, what is it? - Yeah, they definitely take a moment to, and they're sort of like that feeling of like butterfly wings against your skin and they go away and behind them leaves. Sort of like a memory of a few years younger Calypso that's comfortable and feelings of being like content with family, but restless, bored, like a missing purpose. And then the feeling of like, I don't know, like, I don't know, like the missing purpose and then the, like the smells of Brightport, the feeling of walking through the city streets for the first time and then the, when they first talk to someone and are able to get them to say something that they maybe shouldn't have feels a piece of information and that feeling of, the same kind of feeling they had when they first played a whole song for the first time that it was correct and beautiful.

And like an image of the symbol of how Silver Claw. - You like to manipulate people, like instruments. What is this house? I've not seen this before. - We can, the houses of Brightport are, oh, I don't need to go into all the political stuff right now, I can tell you more about that later. Silver Claw is, well, mainly, I do different things, assassinations, but that's not my area. I trained there for a while and now I move through the city as a performer and among social circles and I learn things and take them back to the house. I know it's not moral, but I should care more about that, I think, but I don't, to be honest.

And then there's an image of a fire. I was part of a group just a few months ago that they were my friends, I did care about them, but I also was learning about them for Silver Claw in that way. And beyond that, it just, well, appropriately, it all went up in flames, but I don't know what I could have done differently. I tried. - Those flames whirl between the two of them and it becomes a scene of a thetan and a wild animal in the woods, just two regarding each other. Trying to pass by and he says, "Do we have anything to fear from you?" - No. Yeah, there's the sense that the wild animal kind of like, it's cautious and wary and it's not coming too close just yet, but it's curious and not aggressive.

I've only known you and the rest of this ragtag group for not even a full day, but I like you all, at least so far, and there's nothing that I can think of that would be any reason for me to, I mean, none of you are of any political concern except for maybe Dagon and to be honest, I think he's a teenager and kind of a bit more full of himself than necessarily is the truth. It's been a while since I've had actual friends and I would like that again, I think. If they asked me for information about you, I would probably turn down that job. I don't think I want this to be connected to that, if that makes sense.

- I think that animal breaks into an anthill, like a million little ants, and you just have this sense of trying to look at that and make sense of something, a concept like figuring out how it works. And he says, "I don't know what information "would be helpful for you. "It seems like you're looking for something outside "of this silver claw. "Maybe this mansion will help with that?" - Maybe, and when you say mansion, they're sort of like this vague, kind of foggy image of what it is. They don't really know for sure what it looks like, but it's sort of ominous, like it's a silhouette of a mansion almost, and there's just curiosity, but also foreboding.

I don't know what we'll find there, but maybe. There's something like that that we'll just have to see, I suppose. - That mansion looms up tall and becomes an ominous house. And he says, "Do you have," and there's fear there, there's not being able to control your own outcome. And he says, "Do you have any choice overtaking a job "for silver claw or not?" (laughs) Oh boy, that's, hmm. That's honestly not something I've thought of before. I've never had a reason to, I suppose. - Then maybe we'll find it together, as long as you honor your promise of housing.

That's what I care about. - Yes, I keep my promises, and that's true. I mean, as much as they play with words and deceive and lie and stuff, they are honest to the people that it matters to, that are important to them. And you know that, especially after this, you're definitely among them. - I think all of this becomes two people sleeping together next to a fire, comfortably under the stars. There's like a sense of peace and a sense of trust. And he says, "You've been kind to me. "You haven't shown fear, and I really appreciate that. "I don't think that you will harm us, "but if that changes, I will stop you." - Thank you.

- And he nods at you, and there is a sense of gratefulness, and then that connection is gone. And there's just a big Thedan staring in your face across the table from you. - Imagine that Tani comes out of the bathroom, and they're just staring at each other across the table. Just like... - It's a weird thing, connecting a Thedan and non-Thedan, because it's kind of like taking a sponge, like a wet sponge, kind of slapping it against the surface. A bunch of the Thedans thoughts are gonna kind of, like a bit of their self is gonna kind of glom on to the person they're speaking to.

And in kind, as they withdraw, they're going to take stuff from, not steal memories, but get bits and pieces of little time capsules, little bits of thoughts, feeling smells, sounds, that type of thing. So it's a little different for everybody. Sometimes it's a very deep and meaningful connection. Sometimes it takes a bit before, but a lot of the time it is, at the very least, uncomfortable. It's like cold spaghetti on your brain type of thing. (laughs) And at the very most agonizingly painful, what I need is a constitution saving throw. It's not high, we're not looking for, unless you can just biff this role, like then we got to, you know.

(keyboard clacking) Yeah, you're fine. - Yay, 17. - Good, good, good, good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, again, it's probably just a weird kind of like, it's like squishing lasagna between your toes type of thing. You know, you all know, right? Like that kind of, you know. - A lot of pasta related metaphors here. (laughs) - It's what I'm good at. (laughs) - Started with a dress. - And start, yeah. (laughs) - Please check out our Patreon, so you can get that little reference. - Yeah, now going back to writing the slate, that Thedyn's like, are you okay? - Calypso sort of like nods like a little bit dazed, but.

- Yeah, I'm fine. But thank you, that was very enlightening. So bittersweet, that's. - He nods, yes, and circles my name. And then he writes, like to hear your music again. They smile like really like genuinely, like fully just. That would be wonderful, yes. I'd love to play for you and everyone else too. - Do the others know? - No, not yet. It's a bit of a difficult thing to tell people, and not something I'm used to being upfront about. - I understand. - But I will when the time is right. - He nods. - So it feels like this is a pretty deep conversation going on in the room.

So Tani at one point is probably gonna slip out because she feels real bad. So she's going to go out and try to get Dagon some sort of gift to make it up to him. - No, no. - Because to her, it's like, okay, so you just met me and I got plastered and passed out. And like, I vaguely remember drooling on you, but I don't know if that's like, I'm just making it worse. So like she's like, oh God, what do Aladrin like? Like snow globes? Like what, like she's trying to think of like what? Like something fancy, something classy, like, you know? - I would imagine that Dagon has given off no indications of any interest whatsoever.

- Oh no, it's not. And again, it's not even like a romantic thing. I mean, there is, there's obviously an underlying thing there, but now it's just like, it's like you must think I'm the most classless loser. Like just, I like, - I think so to most people. - You know, I can't, yeah, but like. - She's trying so hard, Dagon. - It's like, you can't, you know, I, it's just like, I was supposed to take you out and like treat you guys to something, like I get drunk and pass out. Holy God. And then you throw a good heaping helping of I'm 16 on that. And like, you know?

- Yeah. - So she's, yeah, she's, she's looking for something. So. - Was there ugly crying at any point during the night or? - No, I, well, she was just passed out. But like, I think the next day it's more like, it's like, oh my God. And it like, there's much more of like, here's pancakes, we're going to have a deep conversation. It's like, okay, I need to, like, I think it's priceless. But it's like, okay, I got it. I got to go figure this out. Like she's, she's kind of like, it's like, oh, we got to be at the library real soon. So, so Matilda gets to the library early.

- Yes. - What does Matilda do at the library early? - So, Matilda is really excited about this whole mansion business. But when she gets to the library, she does a lot of her like normal opening up for the day kind of procedures, like going around, making sure, you know, all of the books are tidy, cleaning anything up from like the day before, unlocking the door so that wonderful patrons of the library are able to come in. But the thing she really wants to do is she wants to see if she can find any more information about this, this manor and its history.

It's maybe something more about the blueprints because Matilda has a feature called eye for detail. And I can use a bonus action to make an intelligence check to uncover or decipher clues. And I want to see if I can figure out a little bit more about what's going on with this mansion. - So you want that Sherlock moment that like, it's like, God, these pieces gotta fit together somehow. And then you just like, bing, like, okay, you know what? Gimme, I want it. - Perfect, so doing investigation. Well, 15, that's not the worst. - It's not the worst, okay, so I'm gonna make a deal with you - Okay.

- You can take what's behind door number one and this 15 right now, or you can use your inspiration and re-roll and take whatever the re-roll is. But here's the catch, whether the role is larger or smaller for your re-roll, we gotta take it. But for doing so, I am going to give you a, just like there is a golden nugget that you have a chance of completely deciphering and being like the hero of the day to come like, boom. - This sounds like a trap. - What are we keeping right now? - He's putting a piece of cheese on something. Don't fall for it. - Let me put it this way.

- Save your inspiration for a different role. - You rolled a 10. - That is, that is fine. However, there are 10 more numbers you could have rolled above a 10. - It's true. - I'll leave the decision. - I want it. (all laughing) - Say it with conviction. - You fool. - Well then. - You fool. - I will roll again. - It's gonna be higher. It's gonna be higher. - I'm gonna manifest it. My first manifestation of this arc. - Fucking go. 17, here we go. - Okay, hold on. Before you roll, before you roll, if you roll a 20, I'm gonna give you three massive, like massive pieces.

- Oh, well now you just hyped it up too much. Now it's never gonna happen. - No, no, no, no, I'm saying like. - It's gonna be in Vegas now. - Yeah, this is. - If you roll a 20, not only am I gonna give you that, you get to keep your inspiration and the entire group gets inspiration. (all laughing) - Now you're putting it on. - Oh my God. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - If you hit a bullseye on all three targets, you get the big stuffed animal. (all laughing) - You're basically gonna put together a PowerPoint presentation. It's like guys, boom, boom, boom. Like you're, you build it.

- Matilda invents PowerPoint. (all laughing) - That's pretty good. - Okay, I'll leave it to you. - Get like a two or something now it's much. - Wow, listen, positive. - Yeah. - I feel that 20. We're talking about Valerie who one time was just like, I'm gonna roll a 20 and then did it. - I think that's like two or three times actually. - Well, there you go. - Whoa. - Okay, here we go. For all the marbles. It's higher, it's an 18. - It is higher. - Yay, okay. - There you go. So you're looking over these blueprints again and you're looking over and we kind of established that like these blueprints, like you're finding newer and older copies of them and they're different each time.

And I think to like, most people would be like, oh, well, they did some remodeling or whatever, but the remodeling doesn't make sense based on the shape of the house, right? And what you're going to find in the records is that whoever contracted people in the city to do these big extravagant, like complete remodels of the house, it happened twice and they were three decades apart each time. So the first time you kind of see where it's like, oh, that's where this vent doesn't go anywhere and this thing, like it's kind of Winchester House in a weird way where it's like, this is a door that leads to like seemingly nowhere according to these, you know.

But slipped in with the records is a very powerful magic user from the Cornata family in Brightport. They are a very powerful, it's like basically a family magic business. They rent their abilities out to the highest bidder. And usually when that happens, it's kept like on the hush-hush, something like this. But in these records is there's several, it looks like they were contracted to do like portal work and some sort of containment. And this is slipped in with one more notice that none of those contractors came back after this, except from the person from the Cornata family.

So none of the laborers, none of the people who dug ditches and knocked down walls and hung up drywall, none of those guys came back. - Love to hear the term containment. That's a real like good sign. This is when that door comes up. - I feel like some Therian SCP coming on. - Yeah, like that's exciting. I'm like, oh boy, oh boy. - Oh, that fucking shrug, fuck you. (all laughing) - Okay, so how- - I warned you all this shit might be haunted. I'm just saying, this is so much. - Did I find this information out from like, was there like a newspaper clipping that was like all these guys disappeared?

Like how did I come to this conclusion? - So this is probably a morning's worth of research where you're going over blueprints and stuff like that. And you're like, okay, maybe I can look into old work orders. And you manage to dig in and find some stuff. And then it's like, okay, well, let me look to see if there were any headlines. So you're digging through microfiche and stuff like that. And then like you're, so altogether this puts together a puzzle, but you had to know where to look for these things. It's like, okay, I'm looking for big stories. I've had a bunch of disappearances from blah, blah, blah.

And you're kind of, so none of these things by themselves would necessarily raise a huge red flag. People disappear, people, but when you put it all together, you're like, fucking guys, like, you're just like, look at this. Like it's a big, it's like, guys, we may want to go in guns blazing or something. Like this is a big deal. So you get your PowerPoint presentation. You get to kind of, you know, it's like, guys, look what I found, it's so cool. So I'm going to say- - Perfect. - No one shows up for hours. (all laughing) - I'm just sitting here, twiddling my thumb.

- You're practicing your posture. You're like- - You hear the door chime go off, it's just a guy. It's a get out of here, no books. (all laughing) - Just returning my book. - So I imagine slowly but surely, like people kind of come together. I imagine like Dagon and Fenris show up together. And then, you know, the only person who doesn't show up right away is Tani. So, but eventually you're like, okay, I don't even, she's not really, she doesn't even go here. Like, I'm just going to, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just going to keep going. So do you, how do you inform the group?

What do you tell them? - So I'm thinking that because I had like all this extra time, what I did is I brought out like big cork board, like almost like a message board that's probably somewhere on the wall or something. And I've started hand Xeroxing things, you know, so I can make copies the old way. And I'm pinning them onto this big cork board. And then I go behind my desk where I keep my hidden supplies. - Secret library. - Yeah, secret library supplies. - You have office supplies, that's what you do. You keep the good stuff for yourself. - Oh yeah. And I pull out some red string.

- Oh my God. - And I start wrapping this fucking string around all these different pins, combining things together, making a web. And I finish it and I stare gloriously at it. And I'm really, I'm just really proud of myself. And then the first person walks in, which we can say is someone? Someone? Who wants to come in first? - Is Dagon an early bird or is? - Yeah, probably. We could roll to see who came in first. - Let's say it's Dagon and Fenris, just because they didn't have a huge thing to do overnight or in the morning right now. So let's say, let's say it's those guys first.

So you got your crazy board up. So these two walk in. And I guess it wouldn't be good. It wouldn't make sense if she actually had one, but you get the vibes that Matilda's wearing, this black cloak. You could just feel it. It's like, wow, she must, I think she's wearing an invisible black cloak. She's staring down. - I'm with you. I'm with you. Keep going. - She's staring down and she looks up at you. She says, "Good morning, gentlemen. Please have a seat." And then she says nothing else to you and waits for everyone else to get here. Literally looked behind me to make sure she wasn't talking to someone else.

- So let's say like five minutes later, an agonizing, silent five minutes later. So let's say, let's say either Dagon or Fenris try to speak. - No talking in the library. - All right. So an agonizingly silent five minutes later. Like you can hear books accumulating dust. Like that's how silent it is in here. And then- - I have my background and I'm like picking, that scene where people have like a knife in there. He's like, oh, there's nails, he's like cutting things. Just bored. - Dagon's probably writing in a journal, unless that's too loud. - No, writing is absolutely a lot in the library as long as it's not on books.

- That aren't meant to be written on a journal. - Yeah, yes. It's not in library books. - Yeah. - You've never seen a book bound like this one. So, you know it's not from here. - Then we get, then we get Calypso and Bittersweet coming in and everybody again, everybody but Tani. - Calypso looks at the situation. (laughing) What is happening? Is everything okay? - Yes, hello, welcome. Please have a seat. I shall wait for Calypso and the Thedent to all sit down. - Yep, sit down very quietly. (clears throat) - I'm so glad all of you could make it. Oh, did you have something to say?

- Where's Tani? She was so excited for this. - Oh, she was, we should wait for her. - That's okay with me. - She said that she was just going out for a quick errand and was, so she should be here soon. (laughing) - Five more minutes are gonna go by. - Oh no. - Silent, expansive minutes. - Start pacing. - Yeah, that just draw out like a blade. Like it's so. - I'm reading a book on rats. - I've never been more out of my element. - Calypso also starts reading a book on rats 'cause they don't wanna get up again, but there's nothing else to do. - She's coming through highlights for children.

Like just kind of, it's like, well, this is what's here. So again, five minutes are gonna go by, that door chime's gonna go off. And you're gonna hear Tani's voice. Guys, you won't believe it. My dipshit brother got arrested last night. Oh my God. Like she's so happy and like kind of like. - This is good news, okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's, and she's gonna see like everybody's sitting here. It's like, oh, am I interrupting something or? - Is your brother okay? - Yeah, no, fuck him. He's an idiot. Like he's like, okay. Dumb shit calls himself Cobra. His name's Spencer.

So he got arrested in a damn restaurant last night because the dumb shit started a fight. And just, I'll tell you all about later. It's real funny. Anyway, sorry, you got your crazy board up. Go ahead. - Well, when she says that Calypso light, it's like struggling not to laugh. It's just like glances over at Fenris. - Hold my hands, I do the like, put my hands behind my back and like lay back. Like, ah, yep, that's satisfying. - Oh man, I like it. I heard the story like third hand. I don't know exactly what happened. I think he jerked off at someone's eggs, but I'll tell you all about it later.

It is, it is, it is crazy. Anyway, he's in jail. Like what, what are you doing? What's going on? Sorry, I'm late. - So. I'm so glad all of you can make it today. As if I invited you all here. I guess I kind of did though. - She's gonna like pull out a chair silently now because like the vibe is like, oh man, it's getting real Vincent Price in here. Hold on, let me, let me just like, let me. - So while you all were, you know, waking up, hearing the roosters crow, having a little bit of breakfast, I was here researching. - You're allowed to have breakfast too.

That's not a. - There's no breakfast for researchers. - Knowledge is my breakfast. - I don't recommend the eggs. (laughing) - So basically she's going to sort of like present her board. She'll say. - Very Pepe Silvia energy. - I found out some things and she's just going to start talking so fast. (laughing) - Going from like hopping from one part of the board to the other in a way that definitely only makes sense to her but she will explain what's going on. I'm not that I'm like the DM now, I'm just like making things up, but like, I feel like it would be fun.

Or like if I had to roll or if everyone had to roll to like see like how much they understood of what's going on. - I feel like that's on your end. That's a you need to roll something. - Let's do this. Everybody give me a wisdom saving throw. Like you're being bombarded with things. Like see how much of this you're glomming on to. We have a 10. - It's a 10, yep. - A nine from Dagon. - Go, I can't do it. Where do I do it? - Oh no. - Okay, Fenris takes a 1d4 psychic damage. - Critmas from Fenris. - Hey yo, that's how I roll. - Oh, here we go. - Okay, I got it. I got it.

I got it. - Oh my God. (laughing) - Right, why should I get to get Tani to roll? - Tani is the only one following this, right? - Probably not. I'm gonna level with you. Tani. - She's a different type of learner. - Fair enough. - Seven, not the worst roll. - Okay, so then Matilda finishes up her whole spiel and she's kind of like breathing a little heavily. And she's gonna say, so any questions? - Are you okay? Do you need to sit down for a little bit maybe? - But no really, did anyone else get that? 'Cause I have no clue what is going on right now. - I look at Dagon and shake my head.

- String mansion thing. - I got a few things about connection with the Cornada family. - Did you do like a fist full of blood route? 'Cause like you're talking real. - No, just horny for knowledge. Okay, so I'll-- - I'll get you next time. - What, I'm sorry, what? - I know what to get you next for your, whenever your birthday is. - Just writing down a t-shirt idea, hold on. - Okay, I'll try and make it a little simpler. There's the mansion. It's been like redone a couple of times. There's this family, the Cornada family and they're like magic people. And they were like doing some funky stuff on the house.

And then everyone that was working on the house, they're all gone. I went through hundreds of old newspapers and I gathered all of this information, made Xeroxes of them, you know, the old way. And I put them up on this cork board. - Is that the name of some sort of library wizard or? - Xerox the library wizard. - Please make that canon. - He has one spell and it's to make kind of a crappy copy of a thing that already exists. - Yeah. - And Uminiro pays him horribly. - Love it. - So basically it's spooky. - Yeah, that tracks up. How long ago was the disappearances and everything?

- Oh man, that would, you know, those probably happened like 30 years ago. Yes, spooky boy. - He nods quite spookily. - He writes, are Kornata still around? - That's something that I also looked into and the answer is yes. (laughing) - I just think of the Siri. Here are some web users I've done for you. - So do you think it's maybe worth asking them about this and see if they know any other details before we head there? - Well, honestly, I'm not sure if I would trust them. You know, maybe there's someone else that knows them that we could talk to, but I don't know if we want to go straight to them at least just yet.

- 'Cause you said people went with that magic dude and then only the magic dude came back. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, I don't know if I want to talk to that guy. (laughing) - And what exactly is it that they built or they did in this house that would maybe cause people to disappear? - Any details? - What kind of like equipment they took or any sort of components that they used? - Yeah, I mean, I think it seems like it had something to do with making portals and, you know, there's lots of rooms and places where there wasn't rooms and now looking on the blueprints, there's technically not a room there anymore.

So it, I don't know, it's a little spooky. - Yeah, that's concerning. I would say that portals, that lot of potential complications. - Maybe not, portals like gates, transportation. I mean, that could explain where they went. - I mean, if it was done correctly, but... I mean, we just, there's a lot that we don't know. And well, I suppose we know that there was something going on up there. So at least we know a bit more about the specifics and... - Is there anything from this that tells us that we should get some sort of supplies or something we need to be ready or are we just gonna like take our stuff and go?

- Well, ready for what? I mean, it sounds like it's just an old house. - That's what I thought. A house with potentially hidden rooms and portals. - Artifacts, treasure. - Books. - I underline containment. - Yeah, that's the part I'm worried about. Like, let's say worst case scenario, they messed up with a portal spell and went to some place or that they shouldn't have. And now there's something that needs to be contained there. I... - It would be still contained 'cause the thing's attacking Brightport now. I would imagine if something was there, and if it's alive after all this time, maybe it's dead.

- Yeah, we just don't know. And yeah, so I mean, unless any of you know any wizards or people that know more about this sort of thing, I don't really know what we can do with this, at least not right now. - That clientele's kind of out of my reach. I mean, back home, there may be somebody, but that would take too long. - Well, maybe if we- - You guys are, while you guys are talking, Tani is going to put a small box on the table next to Dagon. And while you're talking, just kind of gradually like, eh, eh, eh, gently push it over to Dagon. Like this big, like dumb grin on her face, like just kind of like pushing it over to, yeah.

- Okay, so as he's talking about, you know, potentially or not contacting people back home and, you know, rather seriously, he's gonna look down. (laughing) What's this now? - Like out loud and for like, okay. - Oh yeah. - Okay, so, okay, yep, okay. So she should have seen this coming. - What are you doing? - Yeah, just like mortified, just like, it's like she's gonna like keep her, it's like, I was a little embarrassed 'cause I got real drunk last night and I just like, I just wanted to get something to kind of make it up to you. So like I went out and I found the shiniest, like the oldest looking thing I could find and I just, I thought you might like it.

So here you go. - Why for, what? Why for me? I mean, why are you embarrassed? - You did. Yeah, you did. It was supposed to be my treat last night. Nah, I just, I don't know. - Like she's losing like spotty. - Oh no. - Hindenburg flaming out, like just not like. - I want to help her, but I know if I tried to help her, it would just make things worse. - The more, like no chill on Dagon's part. It's like, why? Like it's just like absolutely being Dagon. It's just like, it's applying like pressure in this vice and she is not doing well. - So you. - I'm gonna lean over.

- Okay, go ahead. - Oh, sorry. - Go ahead. - I was gonna just like lean over to Dagon and like when someone gives you a gift, don't question it. (laughing) - The way that you said that made it sound so sketchy. - Yeah, it was, yeah. - Hello. - It is fun. - No, no, it's perfect. It's just really. - Don't question it, but. I'm trying to decide if he's gonna like, gears are gonna match up. So you overindulged last night. Which was your choice. Now you're embarrassed for making your choice. And you're giving me out of all these people, a gift. (sighing) - So right about now, if there was an earthquake, if a rift opened up in the middle of the city, and swallowed her whole and then ground her bones into pudding beneath the library, it would be preferable to what's happening right now.

(laughing) - Calypso is looking like intently backed out at the rat book that they were reading. Just like, yes, I am definitely not paying attention to what is happening here. (laughing) - Okay, so you're saying that you're not gonna be able to get out of this? - Oh my God, okay. So here's, okay, on a scale of one to 10, let's see if she can pull out of this tailspin. - Bro, you're gonna make her leave. - I know. I don't want to. - No, no, no, no, no. Don't worry, Tani is safe. I will rescue her if we need to, if Dagon really totally ruins this. But. - Okay.

- That's a seven. - So one, she's got like, like slightly darker skin, like she's turning red, like just kind of like beat red and then just, (mumbles) and then just kind of grab a book that like, again, like a highlights for children type of thing, pull it up to her upside down and just start, hmm, like that's the best she's got. (laughing) That was pretty much it. Like just like that's, just that's her in the cockpit. All lights are red. Just like eject, like that's it. That's all she's got. - No, no, that's relatable. - So what's gonna, (laughing) the interesting thing is, she has no idea what Dagon's into, but she did spend a significant amount of money.

- Oh no. - Yeah. - Okay. - So what's gonna happen. - You're doing a good job, right? - Yeah, no, she doesn't like, okay, this wasn't thought out. In like, she's 16. So like, so yeah, that's in the box. So yeah, it's in there. She's trying to figure out if she's a goofus or gallant right now. Like it's like, she's, you know. - Dagon's gonna look over to Fenris as if for some direction on what he's supposed to do right now with this. - Maybe it's some supply that she thinks you could use for the trip. - Oh, well. Sure. I guess that's-- - I just, I discreetly kick Dagon's chair.

(laughing) - I was about to do something like that. So I'm glad that we're on the same page. - Thump, right under your butt. - You have longer legs. - It's like-- - I've written on my slate, say thank you. - Okay. (laughing) 'Cause otherwise he was gonna stand up and then, okay. Okay, he'll see this. He'll notice this and turn to Tani. - Yeah, he better notice this. (laughing) Thank you for, and then he'll actually open the box. I guess out of curiosity, just see what's in there. - He starts saying thank you before he opens the box. (laughing) - No, that's a step up, let's take it.

That's good. - So if you've ever watched someone conversationally get mauled by lions, that's basically what's happening. Like just like, I think we've all been there at one point or another, probably right around the 16 age, like right now. - Yeah. (laughing) - So like she will-- - You see my picture happen all the time. (laughing) - So like, she's gonna like, kind of put the magazine, a book down or whatever, and just kind of like calm down a bit. Just like, oh, I really hope you like it. Like just that kind of like voice cracky kind of, so when you open this up, it is a single dangly earring.

(laughing) But there is, so it is in this beautiful, like it's gaudy as all hell. Like it is a solid gold, like a D20 shape basically, right? Like real Dragon Ball Z type of, but what's interesting about it is, is it basically, it was probably purchased from a shop that also is real into like gemstones and telling you what the orbit of the planets are right now. But like, it basically promises to augment the future once a day. So there's like little instructions. It says like, if you give this little earring like a flick, you have to be wearing it. So it's like, bing, give it a little flick.

Whatever you're doing for one action, you get to roll with advantage and then triple the die value should you succeed. - Whoa. - So let's say you roll an attack and let's say that attack hits, you get to triple the damage die. Let's say you crit, you get to triple the already doubled damage die of that attack one time per day, but you got to call your shot like Babe Ruth. - So anyone want to try this? - Like Babe Ruth. - So anyone got an ice cube in the needle? - Does he have to be wearing- - They take on your wearing this? - Does he have to be wearing the gaudy earring in his ear hole?

- You gotta wear it. You gotta wear it. - And like hanging off his clothes or something. - You gotta wear it. It's gotta be pierced through skin. He's gotta forge with you. - Until it goes behind her desk to her secret stash and pulls out a needle. (all laughing) - Oh, I thought you were gonna say like a Claire's. - I know. - You're done good. - I know. Those are so bad. Anyone got a lighter? - Okay, well, first of all- - I've got a dagger. - He's gonna hold this out of the box and hold it up and like, you know, kind of look puzzled. This is an earring. - And so, okay.

(all laughing) That tail spin she was in is kind of like going up because like you haven't responded negatively yet. So this is all hope and prayer now. It's like, yeah, the guy said it's real. It's supposed to be real. Like she's trying to like pitch it in the best possible way. Well, if you read the thing there, it says that like it could really improve luck for, you know, and it just, it was real fancy looking. So I figured, you know, it'd be right up your alley. Probably, you know, I don't know, it's dumb, but I think you liked it. (all laughing) - He'll look at the data again and then look back.

Thank you. And I realize we've just met, but I don't have pierced ears. - Well, we can fix that. - Yeah, well, I figured if you're going to be a good person, you're gonna be a good person. - Yeah, well, I figured if you're going out on the road, you're probably gonna get holes in your body anyway. This is the moment you get to say, I did. Like it was your choice before something does it to you. So this is like a little hole and you kind of dip your toes in the water and you get to have something fancy hang off of it instead of like a lance or like a dagger or something.

And there's a real small chance of it getting infected too. So it's probably, yeah. (mouse clicking) - Well, that sounds lovely. - I pictured this blimmest smile. (all laughing) - How about I keep this gracious gift and think about whether or not I would like to put, a hole in my body deliberately. Because I think that's a big step that will require some great consideration. - I mean, there are places around here that do it quick and easy. And if you end up not liking it, you can just heal it afterwards. I mean, magic. - I got like eight in this year. And she's gonna pull her hair back 'cause it goes all the way around.

But that's more of a halfling thing. So I don't know if it's against y'all's religion or something as an eladrin. I didn't mean to encroach on that. I just thought it looked fancy and you could wear it and it might help you. But there's no pressure. - I'll make a deal with you. Okay, how about this? If you get stabbed, I can probably help bandage that up. But while you're stabbed, we could just like put a little hole in your ear and like, it'll take your mind off the big hole and you won't even notice. - It's a sound strategy. - I have a question. - Sure. - So this thing is in the same vein in features that I talked about related to my patron abilities and all that.

Can I tell that this is magical or has some of that features 'cause some people, it's like it's from this store that they say it's lucky, but maybe not. But can I sense that and kind of have that affinity to feel that something's... - I think because this plays into your wheelhouse, like, okay, let's say you are one of those crystal people. Like you're really into it, you know your stuff, you've read all this and someone pulls out, it's like, that's from a wish catalog. Like, you know what I mean? You know what's a good crystal and what's like, like the guy who is on YouTube that pukes up gems and says they're from another dimension.

It's like, that's from Amazon. - I watched that JonTron. - Yes, thank you. Like I've seen him before that. And it's like, people believe this and he's like, oh yes, this is an amethyst from the Grixon galaxy. And it's like, holy shit. - Is that what he's doing nowadays? - Yes. No, no, no, JonTron, he covered a guy that did... - Oh, okay, I was like, damn, he really changed. - This looks really good. You should go watch it, you'll laugh. - It's quite funny, yes. Anyway, problems with JonTron aside. - We'll just put that in a different box. - That's a whole thing.

But you, this looks to be like, it's like, all right, we at least shop at the same stores. That looks pretty legit. Like, you know what I mean? Like you, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, yeah, that's not, that maybe isn't your, it's like, it's like someone walking the red carpet and you walk up and put an 80s slap bracelet on them. It's like, that probably doesn't go with anything you're with. But you can't deny that's a really cool bracelet. - Does Fenris know like how much something like this would have cost? - If he knew it was magical, he probably would, but then you'd also know how to make something look like it to get that same value.

So yeah, probably, but things in this vein, he probably wouldn't even try because of it. It's like part of the same kind of thin cloth as it were. But I want to use this info to kind of be like, you know, hey, Dagon, I actually think that's legit. And I can't say for sure if the writing on this thing from these people says what it's gonna do in this thing, but I can tell you it does change possibilities. - Where is Fenris sitting? Is he like on one side of Dagon and Tani's on the other side? - Yeah, I always thought we were next to each other and she was maybe creeping up next to you, right?

- Yeah, and then like Bittersweet's close enough that he can kick you. So like, I think. I think Dagon would turn to Fenris and like, sort of whisper, shout, look at this thing. I don't want this in my ear. - But maybe you don't want it in your ear from what might happen. - Counterpoint. - Touché, my Aladrin friend. - And besides that, what kind of a message am I sending to this girl if I could set such a gift and wear it in my ear? - Well, it depends on what ear. - If I get a matching one, we're gonna fuse. - We're going back to the 80s, I thought. Let's go.

(laughing) - I hope she can't hear this. - Let's say she can't. Like she, maybe there's a part of her brain that shut off so that she can't hear. It's like, I'm just waiting, you know what I mean? So like, there's a separate, like you're conferring with council on this side while, yeah. So you need to establish your boundary here. But if something's gonna help you and in turn help us so we can get through whatever this spooky mansion hidden containment thing is all about. Sounds like a movie or something like that. All right. Back to the character. - I'd say, you know, use it.

And then maybe we can transform it later so it's not always gonna be in the ear. Maybe you can pick up a ring sometime. I don't know if it has to be in your ear or if that's part of the requirement. I'm not a mage, but I do know when fate can be changed. - Are you, okay, is Fenris whispering? - Yeah, I'm trying to like lean over and like to the ear. - Do me, okay, one on one second. I need to do something. I'm gonna have her roll perception. 12. She may pick up portions of that last one. Be like, oh, as long as it's in skin, like you could put it on your nipple or like whatever, whatever, you know, you do you sugarplum.

Like it's totally up to you. You stay good, more of a nipple ring guy. - It has to be flicked though. That's the trigger. - So like maybe like a deep V for now and for combat purposes. - You just need a drape. (laughing) - Or you can get the Prince Albert. I mean, it's, you know, whatever. - Oh yeah, thank you. Thank you, here we go. (laughing) - Does that also has to be flicked? - Yeah, who knows what that is in here. (laughing) Okay, he's gonna think about getting his ass handed to him in that alley. And the fact that yes, the hole could be healed at some point with no trace of it ever being in there, like before he goes home.

Okay, he'll nod to Fenris, he'll turn back to Tani. I would be proud to put this through my body parts. Thank you. - So much. (laughing) - Lipsa just puts their head down on the desk. - So none of that forced smile, I'm trying to find the words to be nice. Like none of that hits her ear, just the thank you and yes. And she's going to like reach over and just like hug Dagon, but like, like I think you're gonna get like three seconds of squeezing and it's like, sorry, sorry. You know, I know you're all like, you gotta think about being touched. I just like, I'm so happy you like it. 'Cause like I spent like, and she almost gives a number.

- Oh no. - And then stops just shy. But the only reason someone would stop shy is because they either spent insultingly little or surprisingly a lot. (laughing) And I think that is a good time for us to stop for the evening and next time. - Be in the audience with the travel dye. - Next time we're gonna get to the next day. - Next time we'll do that. - No, no, no, no, no. We're kicking things off with a travel dye. You guys are traveling. Coming up on the next episode of Dungeons and Randomness. - You're telling me there's a base. - Yeah, let's go through the motions.

There's a base, there's a long shaft. The word, there's the word girth involved somehow. - There's an explosion. - From the tip, from going outwards. - Just a big, messy explosion, yeah. - Yeah. - Can I roll a history? - Yes. (laughing) - I can't wait to see the climax of this roll. - Woo! - Oh, 17? Oh yeah, you have definitely had, you have definitely had experience with this type of-- - That's right, that's right. - You either-- - What are we doing? - I don't know, I don't know anymore. We're not, this isn't even innuendo. This is just, I don't know. It's just window.

I don't know if-- (laughing) - We got a lot of really good character stuff done today. Like, this is an awesome session. - God, you guys, it's a real rags to riches story. You went from not playing at all, and now we, like, just really good job, everybody. Like, even if you didn't get, like, okay, Dagon didn't get a long scene in this particular episode, but we're finding out a lot about his character. (laughing) The fact that, like, James, you're doing a very good job in, like, trying not to be the world's biggest asshole. Like, you care enough. - Yeah.

- But you're so bad at not being an asshole that, like, it's very, it's like we're watching you learn how to ride a bike for the first time. Like, it's like-- (laughing) - It's challenging, man. Like, I feel like a dirtbag, you know, especially the beginning of that conversation, but it's like, ugh. - Oh my God, I'm getting half happy. - You've got 10 years of knowing you're not an asshole. Like, it's fine. - Yeah, like, having, like, Tani to play off of him, like, it's just, it's so good. It's perfect. - It was very unplanned, but I'm so happy. Like, it's very good.

- Yeah. - I'm happy. - This group just, like, the way I envisioned my character, you guys have totally made it possible 'cause I love riffing off of it. And it wouldn't be possible without, like, the way this group dynamic is. So it's all because of you guys. - Obviously. - It's working out great. I love it. - MVPs of the day, gotta give it to Ian and Kelsey. Like, send the shot. - Oh, absolutely. - I was, yeah, that-- - The imagery. - I was not expecting it to go where it did, but it was a lot of fun. - The imagery you pondered in my head was fantastic. Like, it's a great job.

- Oh, cool, cool. - Great job with that. - I don't know. - The librarian energy was very strong. - Everyone's doing a very good job. Thank you.