Pockets and Pillows

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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And without further ado, let's get on with the day's episode. (gentle music) (gentle music) (groaning) Let's do that thing! Where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master going on the table. Starting with Xavier. Hello, I'm Xavier and I play Zozo, the black dragonborn warlock rogue. (laughing) And Mandiphius. Mandiphius, what? I don't know, I'm testing different stuff to see what offends you. Mandy. By the way, don't do this. No! I didn't do this. It's a dingle. Too fabulous, too fabulous. It's not fabulous, it's just, it dingles.

Don't like the-- It dinged me, Amanda. Now-- How dare. Now, I didn't say anything when I did this. I was just trying to compose myself. I went, like that and Mandy freaked right out. It gives me such thought. Okay, hi guys, this is Mandy and I play Clover, the lucky, lucky red dragonborn. And Ryan H. Hello everybody, I am the Ryan H that he said hello to and that is me. Tonight I'll be playing Omo, your friend, the hammer-holding dragonborn. And of course, Ryan G. Sup everyone, I'm the leader now, bitches. (laughing) Oof. Nice. (laughing) That's it, that's the introduction.

That's it, that's it, that's it. I like it. Thanks for itself. I like it. I had to have my one moment, right? I mean, the next roll, we know I'm gonna fuck it up, so. See, that's not how you be elite, that's too defeatist. Now that you're leader again, you gotta-- And I'm not gonna challenge you again, so you're gonna have to live with your failures as-- No, well that's where I'm gonna have to start giving it up and be like, all right, Zozo, you do this. That's where you delegate. So let's talk about our last sit down, 'cause it was, boy, a lot of stuff happened.

We buried the hatchet in each other, so we got to deal with that, that's nice. We have a clear leader moving forward, very dragonborn way to settle things. And then we met an all powerful cosmic genie. What a guy. And that is a typical episode of "Pac-Bound", if ever there was one. Roger can talk now, but only in tongues. He only speaks like, abyssal, so not super helpful to you guys, but you know. I like to think he always understood abyssal, he just wasn't able to speak it out loud until now. Yeah, no, he had some deep thoughts of deep speech, but he just couldn't speech.

So you guys, I feel like I've been saying, you're gonna hit the road now for half a year, and eventually you will. We can wish it into reality now, so. (gasps) With candy. Yes. You guys did set up a ride, if you remember, but I guess that was before. Everything. You met your genie, and you guys are under new leadership. So let me ask a question before we even get started. You're supposed to be hitting the road with kind of a military convoy. Do you still wanna do that? Or do you want to strike out on your own? 'Cause you were only riding with them a few days south anyway.

So, I mean, talk it over amongst yourselves. Well, I don't know that we should make that, oh, yeah, characters, we're playing, we're in a role-playing game, guys. So I don't know that we should, we should probably keep going with them, because when I made the wish for, when you first saw that, we knew the book, and it didn't make it so that we understood, it made it so we knew the book. So if we wish that we went along instead of with the convoy, we might go the distance, but the time will pass anyway, and we just miss the whole thing. And I have to make wishes in two weeks or I'm dead.

I know. You sound so rugged on me, David. So is the voice plus normal voice? Do you need a lozenge? I can wish for a lozenge for me. I just didn't test it out before I got spooked. I don't think, oh boy, wow. I don't think, my wife, we should wish anything, sorry, on my wife. I don't think we should use Cosmentor on anything related to the mission. It's too risky. And there's too many interpretations. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this with our own dragonborn hands. Don't we walk with our feet? Jason, I will murder you. I love the fact that that was isolated.

Nobody else talking, no sounds, just Jason, I won't murder you. I'm gonna edit my video feed, so I'm just sitting here making some crazy woman's roses. Just reaction shots and be like. But having six wishes left could be, and could work in our advantage. We should play it by ear and we shouldn't just wish to either get there now or free Aruthammar with a wish or have the artifact destroyed with the wish. But if you want candy, I think that's safe enough. Oh, that's not a bad idea. Okay. I've been thinking about stuff that I could go for a lot, guys. Like for example, you know how like when you guys were in a fighting, you were like darkness, yeah.

And you were like, oh, I'm better now, magic, yeah. And you were doing all this cool stuff while you were fighting. It's like, I can't do that stuff like you guys can. I'm mostly big and carry a hammer and people seem to get along with me okay. And I was just sitting there and thinking about like how much I wish that I had some cool powers. Like maybe like we're keyed into my like awesome bottomless joy brand tattoo. Like I kind of wish I had some magic powers like you guys did, like for when I'm fighting. Grunting. Oh boy, oh boy. Oh, okay. I thought he waited for a confirmation.

Cosmentor, I thought you waited for a confirmation of the wording. He said wish twice. Oh, okay. Did that use up two wishes? No, no, that would be absurd, master. And so we enjoy your new power. Oh yeah, sure, for sure. Well, but we're fucked. OK, what the hell happened? No, it's fine. It's like any time I accidentally like, even if I have to be really careful, guys, because if I were to say something like I wish like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. If I were to say I wish Bartz could do like magic with their music all the time because mentor would have like totally be a thing.

You have to be careful. No, that word, that word is not allowed to come out of your mouth. What? Do you wish for that? Oh yeah, sure. All the time. All right, master. What is wish number three? Oh, I didn't even pay attention. I don't even know what you wished for. I didn't even listen. All right, so what was it? Stop saying that word. OK. At least you won't die at this rate. We don't know. Don't move your arm. We don't know what that does anymore. Mostly it makes my hand go up and down. Well, for the whole power thing, right? You don't know what that is. Oh, yeah. OK, so it's kind of like stretches like, let's let's see what that arm of yours does.

You kind of like shadow boxing. Oh, you're you still look pretty rough. Yeah, well, I can take you. OK, now's not the time. Let's get everything back on track. Let's get back over to the wagon. Yeah, yeah. And then while we're on the ride, then we can start to discuss what those next steps are. OK, but first. No more wishes and like stares directly at Omo. I will keep them to myself. And I won't use the W word. Thank you. Except when we agree what it'll be. OK, that that. Oh, when's the W word? I have to be careful. Master. Yeah. If I may make a suggestion, you have certainly reached your wish quota for the day.

You could simply dismiss me and then we could institute some sort of safe word. Oh, that's such a good idea. You could shout my name and then polish the lamp. But Cosco's our new our new trouble buddy. He can't we don't want to send him back. How I have reached my wish limit for the day. So. I've reached my limit of those. No, no, I would like to self impose that limit unless there's an emergency and I say it's an emergency. But otherwise, I'm done for the day. Hang out as long as you want. But as a buddy. Is that a win? No, it's it's me inviting you to hang out as a buddy.

But don't but if I say it anymore, it doesn't count unless I say this is an emergency. Is that is that cool? Well, it does violate the rules quite a bit. It's all in the manual. But if I may make another suggestion, I have had masters in the past that accidentally brushed up against the land. Regretted it. So maybe if we use a specific motion like you, you hold the lamp and just touch the spout a little bit, something like that, something specific that I couldn't misinterpret. I mean, licking the lamp works really well. Oh. Question. Can I lick the tip? Cosco, does does your lap still fizz when we lick it?

Cosmentor, and that was a medical condition. Oh, it was a funny... It's gone. Oh, OK. I guess I won't have to lick it anymore. Thank you, Cosco. I will say, however you choose to summon me is your right, master. But when the word wish is offered to buy you and only buy you or someone with permission, if you want to give them a password. Can I have permission? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. All right. OK. It is granted. Now, whenever you or the madam who can't say my name says the word wish, I'll be listening in temp. Oh, what can I do? Hmm. Make him leave. Um, I agree with that.

But what were what if you want to think? Do you want to hang out about the rules? Hanging out is against the rules, but we're really on Cosco. Cosmo? Closer. Yeah. Cos? Like, Cos? Cos? And you can trust anyone called Cos. And then you add mentor to the end. Like Cosmo. Pretty close. Yeah. Cribs just like got his hands up over his head, like rubbing his temples and just sighing and kind of like walking in circles. So it feels really wrong to me to tell somebody that they have to go stay in a lamp. But if you're cool with it, it Cosmentor. It's bigger on the inside.

Can we visit? No, no, I get it. Like your privacy. I mean, you don't have to tell them to go in the lamp. You could just tell them to go home. Is that makes you feel better? That is home, but yes, sure. Whatever makes you feel better. Take take whatever kind of break you prefer, then Cosmentor. And if that's going home, then. Good, good for you. Let's hug it out before we before we say goodbye. I'll miss you. Oh, shit. I will be in the lamp, master. Don't forget to summon me whenever you like. You but to have you, Jason. All right, Roger, let's go, let's find that caravan.

You're glad we're not there. Some beautiful right on cue. Xavier has been in the shower to be practicing, practicing this. All that's good. OK, Cosmentor has has retired. He has to be resummoned now to to come back. So no bamboozling, no, no, you know. So did we. So we're going with the caravan or are you guys just still talking it out and you needed to go on to the caravan? We can talk on the caravan. So it is the morning of the 12th. 12th of Thorm. Let's lock that in. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Now. Oh. There we go. Now, obviously, this is a bit this is kind of a cushy ride because in terms of protection.

So there are nine wagons in this caravan and the the the one in the center is huge. Like it's this big it's this special built, huge flatbed like a like a wagon thing. But it is covered and like tightly wound in in something. But it's definitely being hidden. And there is a string of real big horses pulling this thing along. So it's got heft. And it's four. It's like four, maybe five. It might be the fifth one from you guys. You're all the way in the back. You were you're you're riding in the back that go, go, please go. We're not in the Mad Max convoy, are we, Jason?

No, no, no, nothing that cool. I can't pay for that music, but it's it's honestly been quite a boring day in terms of travel. But. It's it's nice to kind of like let the breeze be in your hair a little bit. It's it's you know, you're only going like 10 miles an hour tops, but you know, it's nice you don't have to hoof it. You've already if you pay attention to the big map, you've already made it down here on the road. Look at us go. Now, these guys are only going as far as White Hedge. You know that. But honestly, that's far too that's too late for you guys anyway.

So you're going to be hopping off to go into the mountains. Not too long from now. But what I'd like to do really quickly is to see if there's any complications on the ride. Obviously, you're not going to have to deal with a bunch of knolls or anything like that, but there could be other more personal, maybe interactions. So I need someone to give me a flat D 20, please. And I'm picking Xavier for this. Oh, OK. Go get him. Flat D. Oh, 16. Very nice. Very nice. Now, um. Not only has this been going smooth, it's been going so smooth and you've been traveling for, you know, it's almost the end of the first day.

And you've guys made some good time, like so much so that depending on when you guys want to jump off like. Man, I, you know, I'll give that option to you guys, but you're heading toward the blistering peaks. That's at least what your your sexy, sexy compass is telling you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm keeping a close eye on her. Yeah. And every I'm sure there's it's interesting because this is the first hologram you've ever seen that reacts every time the cart bounces up and down. Like it seems to have it's interesting. Like they actually modeled that in there. It's a dead or alive.

She's just going to say that. Or like it's probably about. Yeah, it's a little DOA extreme like it's like. So every once on, it's just just pointing out in in a direction or something. Sometimes she lifts her arm up and points to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's I think Clover probably saw it once, like over his shoulder. He's trying to hide it, but just like, you know, that that little sister is probably like, what do you look at? Oh, I want to look. Oh, well, his little little little lady thing has the pillows. Oh, the pillows. Do you think Cosmo would give me pillows if I ask really nicely?

I mean, probably we could always ask. Kriv, can I ask Cosmo? No, please. And then she's going to tell you what? Oh, tell you what. If we complete our mission. Uh huh. Or we don't have that long. If we get to the end of the time frame and there's like one day left, there's still wishes to be made. You can go ahead and do it. Thank you, Kriv. And she'll hug, hug him and then just cuddle with him for the next like couple hours and chitter chattered him. OK, so finally we have a reason to hurry the hell up. So what? What does the compass point to again? Listening peaks.

So the reason it's pointing you to the blistering peaks is that there was something that something that was being used as a focal point for magic that was controlling Arutham are this big black dragon that you're out to save. So it's a little bit of when you give a mouse a cookie, right? You have to kind of go to the thing to get the thing. But again, this was some powerful magic being channeled. And yeah, this has been sitting up there for a while. Somewhere in the mountains. That's what it looks like. I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for a dead half orc up in there.

Got one shot by a wolf. Lot of history in those mountains. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So here's here's here's the thing. It is so pleasant and this has been going so well that certain members of the party might be getting bored. And, you know, it's got to it's got to get to the more curiously minded of the party. What is on that big ass cart? What are they keeping under wraps? What like? Like, why does it need this much protection? Where are we going? What are we doing? That type of thing. And any time you try to ask the now sober guard kind of regrets taking you guys along because I'm not putting words in any character's mouths and not pointing to any character specifically, Mandy.

But like, I think I'm thinking that questions are being asked a lot incessantly all day. Maybe she doesn't care so much about fancy things, but she's like, what's that? What's the name of that horse? What's the name of that horse? Why is that horse so big? Where did you get this cart? Can I have a cart like this? Oh, I bet those courses that those those two horses look related. Are they brother and sister? Do they cuddle at night? Can I can I sleep with the horses tonight? Just. On and on, Cribs do with the dad. He's got his baseball cap over his face. All back, taken a nap, just enjoying the entire thing.

You know, you're asking a lot of questions, Mandy, but. You may have picked up a skill this morning, and I think we need to roll for that. Because, yeah. So. Oh, geez. For those of you who might remember every every gameplay day, we have to roll and see what what new skill you've picked up. Of course, you lose the old one, but hey, whatever. That was a good one. Just how it was. But like every time we roll, we have to come up with a new interpretation of what that can be. So could you give me a 20, please? 20. I can give a 20. It is a four. Oh, a four. OK, that's athletics.

Oh. Hmm. So. I want you to give me a D six, please. So six, six, six, four. OK. This morning you woke up with not only the knowledge, but an incessant need to spread it. Diet and exercise are so paramount and so many people. So many people just disregard that, you know, and a lot of these people in wagons are just sitting here all day and you should be taking 10 minute breaks, at least on the hour, to do wind sprints and eat kale. And the fact that they're not eating their kale and honestly, that's probably a harder sell for your dragon friends. But, you know, it's very important to to eat your veggies, take your vitamins and say your prayers.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. So, yeah, she'll first start with Elmo and be like, Elmo, you know, back when we were kids, you used to be like super strong and full and you're still super fit, but you kind of got a belly and choco. What you got a little bit of a belly. So I didn't see you got a body shame. The guy I'm just saying, you know, that's how it's in the culture. Look, I partied really hard for a while there, and I've been trying to ease up a little bit, but it turns out I was really good at partying. And when I was staying, staying with the human people, they had something called a beer gut and is because they drank a lot of juice.

So I think you got to stop with that. And also come running with me. We're going to go make friends with everybody and we're going to go on a jog all around. See that that that big thing over there. We're going to run to that and back as fast as we can. Ten times. Why? Because it feels good. Well, OK, let's go. OK, wait. And did you just jump off the cart and start running? And then she's going to go and find people that are like sitting like, hi, run, run and. OK, hold on a second. Yeah, hold on. It's a panic. Yeah. Do you say it in that tone of voice? Yeah. Fantastic.

I need two things. One, can I get an athletics check? How how what's your form like? Well, just knowing how to do something and doing it can be different. You both of us to be there in our bodies. Are you running after her? I mean, yeah, I think so. OK, OK, then I need an athletics check. Do I get a bonus because of my thing? And now you get so, OK, well, when it pertains to knowledge about the thing. Yes. So if someone quizzes you and it's like, oh, what's the best smoothie recipe for this? You know it be like being a world class gymnast is different. Yeah, that's fair.

OK. Oh, after you normal. Hey, 19, that's amazing. But form. So you're going to come up on these. So you are a lizard. And thankfully, you don't have pillows because this this would be some Baywatch. Yeah, you are. You are like you're getting it right. You're going faster than a lot of these carts, which obviously they're kind of big and slow, but still 10 miles an hour is not bad for for a bulky lizard person. But your form is a little peculiar in that it looks like one of those Jesus lizards that run on top of the water. They just do that. Absolutely. But you're getting that speed.

So like your your bodies are like rigid like this and like your feet are doing this shit. So like you're just fucking going. Now I need I need to know something. I need to give me a D6. Now, hold on a second. A one or two, and this will be taken as intimidation. A five or six, and it's more persuasion. OK, well, but three, four, more of a bluff. OK. Do you think D6? Yeah. OK, so this is more like, OK, so persuasion would have been taken more like, oh, we need to exercise, guys. This still falls under the purview of like, holy shit, she said run and she's running real fucking hard.

So can I get I cannot can give me give me the check. Little bluffy bluff. Bluffy check, bluff check. We don't have bluff. Deception? You know what I mean? Yeah, deception. That one. Bad. OK, six. Thankfully, you are not a credible source to these people. I mean, fair. Like you're one step away from one of your group members needing to put you on one of those child leashes. Like you are you are that it's like, sure, she might as well be running on the side of the thing, saying run, run. Oh, can I get an athletics check, please? Here you go. Oh, wow. What's written?

I can't see anything. That's a one. He fell right off the wagon. Does this include like the jump off the wagon and then the running? I mean, I think a cruel dungeon master would do that. But what I think happened, his pants get stuck in the wall. You hate to see. Yes. Just bare ass drag behind. No, I think because he is trained in athletics, I think the worst I think the worst he would get is like maybe Clover got inside his head. It's like, oh, you got a little heavy. But it's like he hits the ground. It's just like, oh, like a little dad noise. This is supposed to be escapism, Jason.

I know you're still strong. This is super strong. I'm talking to Ryan. This episode's for all the dads. Yeah. Represent. Welcome to Dungeons and mild gray patches. So you're going to jump off the cart and just kind of like, whoof, and then start running. And Clover's gone like down, down. Yeah. So are you running alongside these cars? Are you breaking off to sit like explain to me where you're going? Like you said, you pointed to the thing that you mean, like the mountains? Like where are you running? She would have found like something that stuck out. So either a really big tree, a really crooked, like bush that looked just like had a pink flowers and be like the end that's sufficiently far away and to be like there.

And it took off. And first she could walk a run along to get as many people with her yell. And then she'll break off like a good morning 5K. Yeah, a little mud run. Yeah. So in nature. Sometimes when things are brightly colored. It means stay the fuck away from me or they're beautiful, I think. Yes, you can be certain toads if you like them, you fucking trip balls or die. So like you got to be careful what kind of toads you lick. Can I get a D 20? Let's say let's say the higher the number, the less dangerous it is, and it's just pretty. The lower the number, there might be a reason.

OK, ready? Remember when I rolled a 16 and everything is just going smoothly? Oh, it's not 13 number 13. So it's not terrible. There's there might be. So what I think is you are running toward in this area. There's a lot of dense foliage and stuff like that. And what you may see is kind of like a like a pole looking tree. Not a lot of foliage, but it has these bright pink flowers on top of them. And they're few and far between. The reason they're few and far between is because they are home to very large hornet like creatures. And they're they're kind of they densely pack in areas.

So they'll pollinate the shit out of the few remaining trees. But like, if you get too close to them, they can get territorial because there are so few left. And, you know, they're bees. So just be careful about how close you get. Zuzu leans over to Kriv. Doesn't that make you wonder what they're hiding under the star? I really don't give a shit. OK. Wait, does Clover running off into the wilderness make you wonder what's under the tarp? Yep. Well, I'm guessing I'm guessing Clover kind of ran somewhat in the direction where that's kind of like in the peripheral.

And it's like, well, what is that? But like after a bit, you're going to see him kind of like he just has like a cloth over his face. He's going to kind of like lift up the cloth. Kind of like lean over. It is pretty big. Do you have any guesses? Kind of looks around at the like the kind of convoy this is. Might be some sort of weapon. Well. If we're going to be here till nightfall. You do got those shadowy powers, and as he says, shadowy is going to like your little magic fingers in the air. That's right. Give him the old magic fingers, Ryan. Yeah. Sorry, let me say it in Cosmento voice.

Give him the old magic fingers. Yeah, I might need some time alone. I'll be here. He's going to be a polis that lamp. That's right. So you've thoroughly beaten Olmo in this race race. You get to the finish line and then you're supposed to you're running back. Yeah. So OK, going and not even going to wait. Could it be like pretty bush? Oh, how pretty is it again? So a 13, I would say so. Yeah, it's 13 pretty. So like, I'd say on a scale of one to 10, it's a good six or seven. And there are flowers within range. Of you? Yeah. I mean, yeah, like you got to like, I'd say they're like six and a half feet up.

They start. Oh, they're like, because it's got to be. She's going to wait. She's like waiting for all won't be like, oh, pick me up. I want one. Oh, but that's where all the angry, buzzy things are. But pretty. It it calls to me. It's going to give us such good luck. We're going to have the best trip ever to wherever we're going. Oh, I've had some good trips. Oh, yeah. Traveling. Wait, can we find a flower that doesn't have the angry, buzzy. OK, up. You got it. You got it. All right. Here we go. And he picks you up. OK. When you touch this flower, how do you touch the flower?

Um, do you like the flower? Do you like the flower? I mean, she. Yes, but well, there's precedent. I like the delicate, delicate petals of this beautiful flower drink in the night. No, good. We what is it tonight? We're just a bunch of tonight. I feel like some nights it's worse than others. I don't know. I mean, she has a appreciation for any flower. She loves flowers, so she's not going to mingle it. She's going to be like, beautiful. And then just delicately and take one. Yeah, never mangle the flower. So, uh, OK. OK, so you do remove a piece of the flower. You pluck the flower.

OK, so I did say that there were, you know, that there were angry, you know, angry bee bees around this. I didn't say how big they were. Oh, that might be key. Yeah. So each one of these are about the size of a rechargeable battery pack. They're pretty they're pretty decent size. So you're talking stingers about an inch and a half long, something like that. And they do travel in swarms. And you plucking that causes them to sort of erupt out of the top of this tree, almost like a smokestack. Right. So just kind of like just like really shoot out of the top of this thing.

And it's just going to like cascade down with with all kinds of bees, just bees, you know, like bees. So I I'm going to give you an option. Well, OK. How do you react? To bees. OK, got it. Let's go by. And I imagine he runs away. It's still holding you up at first and partway through realizes is you're faster still probably and puts you down. And then we try and grab him. Be like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I need an athletics check from both of you, please. Got to go. Great. I only have a plus zero. Better than last time. OK, OK, OK. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Against all logic and sanity, you are going to outrun the bees.

And if that's not the episode title, I don't know what we're doing here anymore. Congrats, question mark, I don't know what we accomplished, but we sure did it. We ensured that an important lesson was yet again not learned. Good. Let's cut back to you guys on the cart still. Let's say you see these two running back to the cart. And I'd say the cart has probably caught up. So you're like perpendicular and you're going to watch Almo and Clover. Just break neck faster than you've ever seen them move. And just behind them. Bees like the air looks hazy with bees like that's how many bees.

And. They're they're definitely falling behind, but you don't know how tenacious they are, and I guess I should roll for that, huh? So to you, oh, for a fantastic. So let's let's do this. Let's roll a D6. If I roll a one. They're going to almost immediately give up if I roll a six, they're going to follow you like a mile down the road. So let's see, let's see. Oh, boy, D6. A two, so I would say by the time you get back to the cart, you probably lost them, right? Please. Right. Oh, no, no. I was going to ask. OK, you know, it doesn't matter because if we get to the by the time we get to the cart, we lost them.

Nothing I say was going to matter. We're in the clear. You're in the clear again. What a heist. You guys have this flower petal. That that that that that that that that that that mission success. Ten experience points for every. Oh, yeah, you're welcome. I am. Thank you. Yeah. A couple more petals like that. Right in the table or the end of the hour. Let's go get more. Yeah. Yeah. We need to buy calculations. We need six hundred and fifty more flowers before we can level up. Another another twenty thousand more times. We're going to be doing great. We got to grind that out.

So we're going to halt here. We're going to grind out six hundred and fifty flowers to level up before we move on to the next quest. Yeah, because the quest waits for us, right? Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That is how the world has canonically worked so far. Yes. Surely time won't go by without us. No, no, no, no. I'm going to say with that, we're going to get down the road here. Sorry. How much how much time have I lost at this point? You're still in 14 days, but we're ending the day, so you'll be at 13 tomorrow. But you're on pace to, you know, more than four more wishes.

Yeah, that's it, baby. Four more, I think. But where you said we're at three wishes earlier, but the first one doesn't use three. Mm hmm. Yes. So, OK, which for more bees. Do you think that's a good idea? Oh, man. No, he give you the best bees, you know, believe. No, you know, believe. I see what you did there and I hate it, but it's beautiful. So there you go. I hate myself. I mean, the years almost should say you got to get them in. You haven't met your quota yet. So, yeah. When Clover and Omo get back to the caravans, I was just going to tell them, like, you do should just you really should be resting and not waste your energy.

I mean, I appreciate the fact you're staying in shape and eating well, Clover. That's good, but that's not, you know, really helpful. But once we reach our destination, both of you are going to need all your energy. We don't know what we're up against. Oh, do you think we'll be there like before we get a chance to get any rest in when we reach the forest? I say we ditched the caravan and walk right through it. Yeah, they're at the base, referring to Bandits Rest. Yes, at the base of the Hazen Mountain through Bandits Rest, we got a straight line to the Blistering Peaks.

Well, I don't know if that's the best route. If you're going to do that, I would say let's get off tonight and kind of go around a little bit or in the morning. For those of you who may be new to the show, Bandits Rest is famously named because it is essentially filled with warring camps of scumbags, people who have run out of friends and options in cities like Brightport and are so wanted that their only course of action is to live in this forest and fight with all the other people over scraps and crumbs. And a famous group of slavers also live there because they've been so roundly rejected and beaten that they pretty much can only function in this forest and sell their wares on the black market at this point.

So is the is the compass? What direction is the compass pointing at? Like are at this point, like are we at the junction where it's kind of pointing like 90 degrees off to the side towards the mountains? Probably eight o'clock, maybe. Yeah, like Southwest, like definitely Southwest. OK, like almost dead on Southwest. So by the crow, if you're doing it by the crow flies, you know, Zozo's right. Like this is a great time to cut through if you ignore all travel problems, dangers and other people in the world. Yes. Um, Clover. Could you do me a favor and roll a perception check, please?

Me? Wow. Yes. The higher, the better. OK, perception as perception. Yeah, you know what? I'm fucking stupid. Ignore me. You know what? There are times that I wish that I'd roll the lower perception in real life for some stuff that I thought. Yeah. Just seriously. That was what it showed me. The higher the better. I need that cut. I need that cut. I'll gladly do it for you. I'll perform that whenever you want. Fourteen. Zozo was just saying that you should be resting and all that stuff, and you're kind of taking it to heart, kind of turning it over in your head. And you're kind of like, you know what?

I mean, maybe maybe that was a waste of time. I don't know. I got this pretty flower petal, though, you know, I don't know. But you are going to notice something about Zozo and it's it's the way he carries himself. He kind of he kind of has a hunch and he's you know, that can't be good. Like, do you have scoliosis? Do you have and you're just on your you know, you kind of falling back on your medical training that you got just today and you're you're just you're you want to you kind of you kind of have an urge to just. Walk up behind him and just like pull at his back like a little little little chiropractic chiropractic.

Yeah, like Kyra. What is the verb for chiropractic chiropractic? I believe the right verb is bullshit. No. OK, I'm going to go with back snappy. So you just want to give him a little like give him a little like, you know what I mean? Yeah. OK, so yeah, I think Clover is going to be staring and like he'll be talking and she's zoned out immediately because she's like, Oh, and then so she'll just going to edge closer, edge closer, closer, and then just be like, hug and grab him. And then almost what is that suplex? Oh, yeah. Yes. Little German suplex of the German variety.

Yes, of course. And do that, but not smoosh his head, but just be like, and you know, yeah. I'm taking it. So I was going to resist this. I don't know. I would say he's taken by surprise. He's definitely not expecting it. So I'm saying like if if Clover's back snappies is strong enough, he'd be like out of breath or something. He'd be like, oh, so let's do this. I want both of you to roll an athletics check, but I want Mandy to do it with advantage. So that that could simulate the surprise of it all. And if she gets significantly higher than you, we're going to do a thing.

Cool. Oh, oh, oh. So she's going to she's going to pick you up. Like you're definitely going to leave your feet. She rolled a 14. You got a 22. So, again, having the knowledge isn't practice. You know, I mean, you can. God knows I have seen things in my head and plan them out. And then what happens is not the thing. So she's going to wrench back and you are going to hear a crack like you're definitely going to like, like, you know, probably like. It's definitely going to hurt at first. This is not going to be a painless thing, like, you know, like it's like it's like, oh, well, that's amazing.

It's like, oh, fuck. There's a reason I walk like a with a hunch like it's, you know, like, why did you think you could fix this? And I've been living with it for years, you know what I mean? Like that kind of thing. Yeah, so he's go ahead. How do you react to like flailing because he's still stuck, but he's like, what the hell are you doing? You have bad posture. It's really bad for you to hunch over like that. And so we're going to we're going to remedy this by lots of hugs. And so just going to. Oh, no, no, no, no. Put him down. And going to give. Do you put him down?

Give his crib the woundedness to puppy eyes and just like, OK, and then drop. And he sort of like like washes the hug off of himself like, I can't believe you did this. We'll do that once a day. No, no, no, no, no, you won't. Oh, Crib, do you want to do it? You're stronger than I am. I have a belt and we'll use it as a muzzle. Oh, boy, it's getting dark. I don't like when people use the belt. And she was going to huddle by Elmo. Oh, no. Whoa, hold on now. It's OK, no one's going to no one's going to use the belt on you. I don't like that. No, no one's going to.

That's not going to happen again. I promised you before and I'm going to hold that promise. So nothing wrong with my posture. It turns back around. Just kind of a little Constitution saving throw from you, Zozo. Oh, shit. Yeah, of course. Saving throw. I think I hit normal. There it is. 15. So that was painful. But when all is said and done. You do feel a bit more limber, like before, like pushing, pulling that kind of thing, like like it made you sore a little bit. So. At this point, you guys are pretty much you're hunkered down for the night, like you're you're done for the day, like it's nighttime.

You know, there's a little campfire going. The military guys are sitting far from you like they're just like, OK, you guys chill over there, you know, understood. But like. As you're kind of moving shit around like there, you know, to make a proper campsite, like you're you're moving rocks to stack around the fire, you're doing stuff like that. You're kind of noticing it's like, oh, man, like you're doing a little shoulder roll, little like it's like it doesn't feel bad. And. I'm going to add one to your strength score. Whoo. Whoo. Temporarily. No, permanently.

Damn. Just one. But like, yeah, maybe it's physically. Yeah, it's like, oh, 10 to 11. It's very symbolic to me now. Sorry, that ability was just for today. He's going to kind of like notice that. Keep that in mind. It's like for all her. Cloverness. It's like, OK, I mean, sometimes she knows what she's talking about. She's just. Not delicate about it, like there's no tact there. I think that's what it is. I think that's the first time I was like. That wasn't utterly pointless. It's just that every tool in her toolbox is some form of hammer. Like there's no. I just got to ask for permission to touch somebody else's body, you know?

Yeah. What? God, if I have a nickel for everything. There's a reason we didn't we didn't go to Dragon Con this year. Oh, no, I don't want to put it. Wow. Wow. How's about let's see. Let's let's unless there's anything anybody wants to do, we can pick up next the next day. Are you going to do it? I'm going to do it. Oh, during the night when the coast is clear, he kind of like just motions to cry like it's happening. I'm going to go just take a look, check a look. And he steps away in the darkness a little bit and then he'll sort of like. Manifest those shadows out of himself around one of his daggers so that if he needs to, he can sheath it and then the darkness disappears like a like a flashlight.

Because that's a thing that an anti flashlight. Yeah. And yeah, he'll sneak to the flatbed, try to like go around the guards or whatever and just try to get a look, try to see if he can satisfy his curiosity. Well, obviously, they got guards posted. Yeah, they got guards posted, obviously. But I'm sure a quick little stealth check and we can just file that under a formality. Now, because I'm in the spell darkness, I'm in like heavy I'm heavily, heavily obscured, which means they have disadvantage to spot. They are going to see. Basically, a cloud of squid ink heading toward them, right?

I was waiting for the night, though. Right. But like you got to imagine if they're standing guard, they have torches and stuff like that. They're not going to stand, you know, but like fair enough. We'll see. We'll see. I'll try to keep that squid ink discreet as well. Stealth. So stealth, baby. Oh, no. Thirteen. Thirteen's not terrible. It's definitely. So here's what I'm going to hold on. Hold on. Can I use my inspiration from last session? You absolutely can. One hell of a thing to roll inspiration on. Fourteen. Fourteen? OK, that is better. The thing I was going to raise my hand up for before may come into play now.

I have plus ones. I have so many plus ones. My wallet is overlaid with plus ones. Um. From showing up to the premiere, showing up to the premiere. And thank you, by the way, rain or shine, Ryan shows up to the new episode. The listeners you should to. Saturday, 4 p.m. Eastern, be there on YouTube or break my heart. Don't do that. So can I give to one of my plus ones to one of my fellow players or is it or those mine to hoard? They are yours to do with as you please. I would like to offer this plus one to those. How many plus ones? Can I just tack on plus ones?

Yeah. Let's say you have eight. OK. Eight. He's been there a lot. Yeah. Let's give me six. I'll take six. I'm good for it. I tell you what, let's make a deal here. I'll give you I'll give you a tree. I'll give you a tree in there, you owe me. OK, I'll make it up to you. Seventeen. Seventeen. So thank you. You're going to watch these guards and they're mostly going to be kind of meandering about. It's been a long day for them to they're taking shifts. So it's not crazy difficult to steal a couple of seconds here. And you're going to be able to get to the broad side of of this cart.

And and there's a there's a bit of a flap that isn't as secure. And you're just kind of like kind of peek under there. Give me a perception check, please. Yes. Here we go. Nineteen. Good, good, good, good, good. There is it. So it's tough to tell a shape until you're under this thing, but it appears to be in pieces. But what you're staring at mostly is this long. It looks like some sort of brass cylinder, like it's it's it's it's real. Like it obviously takes up the bulk of this flatbed. And then there's bits and pieces around that, like, like, OK, that looks like it might be like some sort of base.

So just just quickly assessing it, it looks like the base is meant to like kind of cradle this, just kind of like cradle it. There it is. And then like this long brass shaft is kind of a semi erect and and and and and held like, you know what I mean? If I'm painting a picture, please. So some sort of erotic art exhibition could be. I mean, why is the military involved? Well, that's the information I wanted. I'll go back to the camp and relay that information. Good. I don't know. Confusing parts. It could be some sort of erotic art installation or. I've seen I've heard about, you know.

Explosive kinds of weapons. That that that humanoids create could be one of those, but I don't know. I don't know where they're going. Frankly, I don't really care. But you mean like it's a. Like it's a. Big weapon. How would you even hold it? I think it's I think it's a big weapon. I think you build it on the ground and you aim it somewhere, I think, and I have no. Prior experience with such a weapon, I don't know if I've seen it in this world before, but I can surmise some things. I'm I know explosions. So you're telling me there's. There's a base. Yeah, yeah, let's go through the motions.

Like there's a big long shaft. The word there's the word girth involved somehow as an explosion. From the tip, from going out, just a big, messy explosion. Yeah, yeah. Can I roll a history? Yes. I can't wait to see the climax of this role. Oh, 17. Oh yeah, you have definitely had you have definitely had experience with with this type of terrain. That's right. You know, we do. I don't know anymore. We're not this isn't even innuendo. This is just a window. Yeah, if you got an image in your head, you're. Who dare you, Jason? So yeah, you definitely know like you.

It's like, OK, I mean, that does match the description of like a much smaller version. Like you've heard of, like obviously, Uminero, a city you were just in, like they've experimented with all kinds of like like emergency projectile firearms and stuff like that. But like it's a librarian in Brightport that sure she has one. Yep. OK, yeah, no, that's that's yeah, like it's something this size that's kind of unprecedented. Sort of big artillery. And we know they're stopping at Whitehead. That's where you have to part ways. OK, but that's that might just be like it's like, OK, we're going to rest here for a couple of days, get you know, and that type of thing, because they might not need or want you where they're stopping ultimately.

That's fair enough. So we are at the end of this day, which means. 13 days until Olmo dies, unless you complete your four wishes. We're not in a hurry. I mean, oh, look, guys, I'm sure that we'll figure this all out, but some time has gone by and. It's not that I'm worried so much as I don't want to have to worry. If you guys thought of anything smart that we could wish for. Well, I think we could save it for a few days. Right, because we have we have 13 days left. We do. And four wishes left. Right. But what if I what if I accidentally go unconscious and then the rest of the days go by?

That clovers got your permission. Oh, yeah, I won't let you die, cousin. Oh, that's awesome. OK, so while we're over here chatting. Yeah. What do we think about leaving the caravan early and going around Bandit's Rest so we don't encounter a bunch of extra stuff that would make us all go unconscious? Or worse, so after all, more you mean going around the whole thing? Well, I'm talking about either. Like start hiking now. Or further down. I just don't want to go through Bandit's Rest. Yeah. Well, you're scared. Yeah. I mean, look, our leader is scared. One or two bandits were probably fine.

Five bandits were probably fine. There's a lot more than five bandits in there. Yeah. So we're talking like like you guys could probably handle what? Three bandits apiece? No problem. But even so, we're still just just by the numbers. It's all right. I, I keep forgetting I'm not with the regular red dragonborn. I'm going to pretend that you didn't say that. He's a war hero. Jason, do we have a map? Of course. I'm going to turn to Olmo. If you do want to make a wish today. Yeah. I know the compass kind of leads us in the general direction of where we're going. Yeah.

But we can get Cosmentor. Yeah. To make a marker on our map. So we know exactly where it is. And then we can decide if we need to go around it to the north or around it to the south or wherever direction we need to go, because all we know right now is that we need to go southwest. So basically, you want to see if we can make Cosmentor put a destination location on the map for where Zozo's little magic, Ruthmar, with the pillows is pointing to. That is correct. Okay. Yeah, sure. Hold on. And he pulls out the lamp and he sees about getting Cosmentor out and he rubs the lamp.

Puts the elbow action into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say after a good, like, about 10 minutes, you're gonna get... You're gonna... Like, he's gonna listen and yeah. I'm spent. And those guys, Ruthmar is like, oh, you're pervert. I'm out of here. Come, my love. That's so good. Greetings, master. Welcome back. We missed you. No. Okay. What can I do for you on this fine evening? Oh, okay. So Kriv has this map right here and you, in all of your power, probably know that Zozo has like a magic, tiny Ruthmar that points to our destination of where we're going to. Right.

Do you know that? I have seen her. Very erotic. Yeah. Yeah. That... Later. That's later's idea. So the destination that she is pointing to, could you give us the spot? Like, just like if a spot on the map, if I were to make that... Kriv, can I use the word? Yeah, maybe we should have wrote that down before. I think you should wish for the location of the where the item is represented on the map. That that's what I wish for. I thought you were going to wish for the compass to be real, but we can absolutely do that. She is real. Wait, can I... No, no, I mean full size, touchable.

Is that cool? Can I do that? Why, of course. I need... No, I must focus on the mission. I can't be distracted. Please do not torment me so. We can have another friend. That may offend Ruthamar when we get to her. Yeah, there's that too. She's my boss. Just when I think we can't get stupider. Oh, I love this so much. I'm so happy. Thank you. I mean, now that I know it's a possibility. I smell more character art is what I know. So we're gonna put a pin in that one as we seriously might revisit that. But in the meantime, just the location that she's guiding us to the actual physical destination.

I would like it a mark on the map that we can see that it clearly shows where we're going to. In the same way that like, you know, where the town is on the map, because the town's marked on the map. But instead of a town, I also want a new point that shows where the Ruthamar is guiding us to. Of course. Yeah. Is that the final word of your wish? Just make sure to ask it for it to not be ambiguous. Like very precise, not like three inches wide on the map. Well, we want to be careful because we don't want it to be so big that it blocks out the whole map, but we don't want it to be so small that we can't see it.

We want it to be a normal, reasonable size that makes sense to look to anyone who would look at the map and stuff. I would never. Oh, not on purpose, but hey. Such shenanigans. Of course, of course not. You're like, so the best, but you know, you have to try and you're trying to interpret words. There are rules. I get it. Of course. But so yeah, that's no ambiguity about where the artifact is that you're hunting. Pretty please. That your bimbo dragon friend is pointing to. Yeah. Yes. Yes, please. Your wish is granted. Oh, you're the best. So every other feature on the map is going to slowly disappear.

But right in that spot, there's going to be a couple of mountains and you're going to see what looks like a pole object, like some sort of like a staff or something. But there's a like a little like a little ball on top of it. Right. Is it two balls or one? It was sad. No, just one. Just one. It's very cool. It's a monoball. So like it's yes, a singular ball. Okay. And there's going to be like a little glow, like a little glow up there. We got to separate you and Mandy. You can't feel the same girl anymore. You're so mean. I'm going to tell Bree that you're being mean.

I just love how this has been going on the entire year. I told you what I was going to do when we started. I've been very clear. Well, it's better than nothing. So I'm going to pull out anyone else's map or have them pull their their maps out and then kind of overlay. Nice. Look at you. Check out the big brain on Brett. Yeah, that'll work just fine. So yeah, you'll be able to like do a little like in dinner trace or something like that. And like, yeah, fucking cost mentor. Look, he's trying his best. You know, it's tough. He seemed bedazzled a lot. I mean, so like, you know, he's you understand the limitations of his rules better than the rest of us.

You actually understand it. Wait a minute. Hold on. I mean, I have the book. It's a lot of pages up in here. Read them all. You know what? You made me think of something. I now have access to some things. Among the things is a certain spell that I have that I forgot I had that's called Comprehend languages. Does that work on a language that's in my head? Yes. All right. Well, I'm on that. I don't want to like click almost for the duration. You understand the literal meaning of any spoken language that you hear. You also understand any written language that you see, but you must be touching the surface on which the words are written.

It takes about. You have the book. So just yeah, you got a book. Yeah, I had to. Yeah. Well, that's not exactly how thoughts work, but you can definitely touch the book. Okay. Or touch Roger. That's good. Yeah. Hey, Zozo, can I touch you for a little while? Excuse me. Yeah, no, this is good. You know what? Actually, hey, cousin, can you just hang over here? I'll just tap my hand on your back for a while. Okay. That would that'll work fine. So you touch Zozo and he goes, yep. No, I don't like it. Like it's a otherworldly experience. Like, okay. Otherworldly experience.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's good. I ritually cast it so it doesn't use a slot. It takes like an hour. Yeah. You got I'm on the road for a while. Camping me out a bit. Look, man, it gets lonely on the road. Like, I get it. Like, guys. Wait, wait, wait, wait, real quick. Can we have a spot on our map? Oh, yeah. I want this spot. Yeah, I want to know where we'll be going. Of course, of course, my friends. Now, here's the fun part about this. Several years ago on our Patreon, we ran a group that Xavier was a part of, and he put the damn thing up there. I almost did. The rest of the group did.

You were there in spirit. I was there, yes. Literally. So it's kind of nice. It's a little it's a little it's a little full circle. I like it. It's as if this arc was all about kind of going back to some of these things. It's crazy, right? So there you are almost dead center in the middle of Alara. You guys got a bit of a hike ahead of you, but OK, I think. That's a good time for us to stop for the evening. All right. Next time we pick up. Oh, God, please. Can you remind me where the new God's Palace is? Well, you know, it's crazy. Oh, boy. God damn close to that spot.

Oh, boy. To those of you that aren't watching the video for this, I am just hurting for you because this is so cool. So there's there's a lot to discover here. And you guys might have fallen ass backwards into a really cool spot to be. Clover, behave yourself. Hands in pockets, hands in pockets. I don't have. Oh, no, I have. OK, I got pockets here and she'll go like. I mean, you need pockets and pillows. That's what it's. It's OK. The next set of armor will get pockets. You'll you'll be set. OK. I'm everything except the women's armor. Yeah. Fair. Golly, tonight was fun, guys.

Thank you so much. It was needed. Sandy, I'll stop now. Oh, we're done. Our contractual obligation is completed. But yeah, I want to put you in a lab and study you. I really do like I just I it did it. That's not I don't know what that is, but man, it works. It just works. Let me stop the. The.