Alpha Daddy

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That kind of thing means the world and it helps us keep the lights on. Of course, if you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like, subscribe, comment and share. Do all that good algorithm stuff. And without further ado, let's get on with the day's episode. (soft music) - What would you say? History? - History. - It's a three from Dumpy. (all laughing) - Oh no, it's Hilton. - Oh no. (all laughing) - There's a crit one from Matilda. - Oh, that's so good. - I feel like I have something though that like, if I have to get some, like if there's information that like I could have found in a book, I get like advantage on it or something.

Am I making that up? - From your background? - Yeah. - Well, I mean, everything could technically be in a book. (all laughing) - Okay. I don't know then. All I'm saying is Matilda reads a lot of books and this seems like a symbol that could be in a book somewhere. - Well, just cause you read a lot of books doesn't mean you read every single book. (all talking) - You read the good book? Because apparently not. (all laughing) - It's okay, cause apparently Dagon has so. (all laughing) - Yeah, strangely enough. - Yeah. - Do I sense any magic from it? - Give me an arcana check.

- Ooh. - Ooh. - Yes. - No, no, no, no, 19. - Yeah. Let's get to Dagon first. So you, this is one of those things where it's gonna bother you. Like you definitely, you have seen this somewhere and this was, this is gonna be insulting to Valerie, but you've seen it in a book somewhere. (all laughing) - It's only in the Aladdin library. Sorry. - Yeah. It's a different translation. It's yeah. So this is one of those things where it's like, I have seen a sketch of this at some point and it definitely has some kind of like religious connotation to it. And you seem to remember that it's tied to some kind of angel.

Like something like he's like blessed by the gods, like some sort of instrument that was like, there's so much importance on it, but you're like, ah, there's so many stories about gods. It could do anything. It could cure acne. It could cure, it could give us water when there's a drought. I don't know what it does, but I remember it was pretty important. - Okay. - Yeah. So he'll walk up to it, sort of scratching his chin. He's like, you know, I've seen this before. I've seen this in a book. I'm sure of it. Definitely religious. Something about an angel blessed by the gods.

You know, that's all I have. (soft music) - Well, that's certainly not something you expect to just find in the woods somewhere. I wonder who put it here. - I come up next day on and like touch it and be like neat. And then be like, get the sense of it. Magic from it maybe. You're gonna, so there is, there's a feeling you get. This isn't like picking up some trinket in the town square and it's like, oh yeah, this gives you plus one to, you know, like it's not, this is like, there's almost like a static kind of shock as you touch it. It's like, oh shit. Like it's like that, that's a live wire, holy hell.

But like for just the briefest of seconds, there's going to be almost this explosion of radiant light in your brain, just kind of like, oh God. Like that thing is, so this is a big deal. And there's only a couple of reasons why this would be stashed here, right? But none of them are good. Like this definitely belongs somewhere to someone. Like jump back and be like, that is intense. My head feels like it was on fire for a second there, but like, not like a fire, like, like the god of a hearth. That's, that's, that's some powerful and probably very important item there.

- That's... - What would it be doing in a hole in the middle of nowhere? - I mean, my best guess is someone took it and hid it out here and either, for, no, not for God, they probably just never made it back or, I mean, who knows how long it's been out here, whatever it is. I mean, I guess for now we should keep it safe and when we get back to the city, we can take it to a temple. - It belongs in a museum. - That's basically a museum. They probably, one of the priests probably knows where it should go. And I mean, if it's something with that serious mojo, I don't want to upset any deities that might be interested.

- I'm sure this is written somewhere, right? I'm sure in like maybe that library we were in before, I bet we'd find maybe a book about it. - Oh yes. Matilda, have you ever heard of anything like this? - Matilda! (giggling) Looks a little - Erked. - And she's going to look down into the side, just kind of into the distance. She'll say, "No, I haven't." Tani's going to kind of like, kind of looking at it, kind of like over people's, like over and under people's shoulders, because she's not very tall. Damn, yeah, I thought you read all the time. I figured you'd know something about this.

- Matilda makes that Arthur fist. Just holding it right next to her body. - I mean, to be fair, she is a bright port librarian and goodness knows the city doesn't exactly prioritize those in funding. - Yes, I'm sure your library is adequate, but if you want a full library, you go to Odysseia and that's where you'll find this item in one of the books. - Oh, there's going to be a murder. - Adequate, adequate. - We just convinced her to leave the library. We don't want her to go back. (laughing) - I'm sorry, Val. (laughing) - She's taken off her earrings. It's crazy.

- Yup. (laughing) - I mean, far all we know, the books that it was written in were lost to time until recently, of course. And there is no possible way for any of us other than Dagon to have heard of it. - How heavy is it? Is it, could you thunk someone on the head with it? Pretty good. - Yeah, it's expensive heavy. This thing is made like- - Say no more. - So right in the center of it, there's this gorgeous red gemstone that's cut into like a diamond pattern, but it's got an impressive like girth, like a heft to it. Like as you pick it up, like this thing, you could use it as a melee weapon almost, like you could feel like.

- So, but if you're touching it without the burlap, are you feeling this energy coming off of it then? Like if Penrith did? - I would say the feeling you get when you hold it, like if you've ever been to a science museum and you touch one of those crystal ball things with the electricity, like that's what you feel. It's not pain, it's not, yeah, it's like a, like you can definitely feel it though. - Well, Dagon's not gonna carry it. (laughing) - I put it in the rat sack and yeah. - Don't people carry it? (laughing) - We can wrap it back up nicely first.

Just give it the clip so like do that, like a little like pat, like, we'll get you back to where you're meant to be. Just don't wanna offend any gods, like just not. Dagon will like when he has just a moment just sort of sketch it in his journal and write a little blurb about where they found it. - Oh yeah. - I'll send you guys a rough, rough sketch of it. Like just it's super, it'll be super rough 'cause I can't draw. - Totally don't. (laughing) - Let's pick up from where we left off. You guys had a nice little thing happen to you and those can be rare on the road, but I need another travel dive from you guys.

And if you'll note down in the left hand corner of your screen, there's a little time of day thing now. And yeah, it's a little, yeah, I'll be updating that for you guys so that you can kind of get a sense of what time of day it is. So it's 6 p.m. so it's, you know, the sun is gonna start, it's gonna start dipping behind clouds and stuff. And since you guys are heading into a forested area, you know, it, oh, please. - I have a question. Does the planet on Alara have a 24 hour day night cycle? - Well, that's interesting. The planet on the continent of Alara.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let's say yes for ease. - How many moons does it have? - Eight. - Time zones? - But they vary in size. They, so, okay. - The tides are insane. - Yeah, every county is under a different daylight savings time. It's a mess. No one knows. (laughing) - Because they're all following a different moon. - Exactly. So when someone says, hey, 3 p.m. tomorrow, someone goes, whoa, and they just fucking, their heads explode. It's like a magic spell. - No one can agree on a calendar. - No. Wars have been fought over missed lunch appointments. (laughing) - So it is now 6 p.m.

- 6 p.m. let's, yeah, let's again, this is. - No, I was just, I was purposefully being difficult. Don't mind. - I know, I know you. - I was too, but I was also kind of curious about moons because moons are neat. - I wish I knew more stuff, but like, I, here's the thing, I love to fill in bits of the world, but when it comes to stuff that you guys need to either move around or know what time it is, I'm not gonna hold you guys to name a specific day of the week or the time. Like it's tedious and it slows things down and there's no reason. However, if we're writing for a book or something, it's like, hey, hey, come on, use the thing.

That's all. I need a volunteer to roll a travel tie. - Well, I did last time. I'll do it again if you need. - I feel like, no, no, no, no. - I feel like someone else should. - I feel like Valerie. I feel like Valerie is the perfect candidate because I don't believe Valerie's rolled for a travel die in years, ever, maybe. - Maybe ever. - I feel like I have at some point. - Not like our group has really done much traveling. - That's true. You'll all get a turn, don't worry. - But no, no, it's good that I'm doing it. The only thing I've rolled today is a one. So the vibe's good.

- Yeah, but that's out of the way, you're done. - Can't do that again. - So a D10 will get you there. I'll say that. - Oh, that's right. Okay, right. We're doing different numbers for like how much it is. Okay. - Yeah. - Yep. - So a D10 will get you there, but you can roll whatever you want. - If we got there with like one roll of D10, like how many hours away is the destination with a D10? - If you guys just made a straight trick there, and obviously we're guessing you guys are taking breaks and then sleeping through the night, you'll get there by like tomorrow around noon or one, assuming you guys wake up around dawn-ish.

And assuming like you don't get lost or a hawk steals your backpacks or something, I don't know, like adventurous stuff. - Yeah, we're all really good at traveling through the woods. That's what our party of adventures is all about. - Here's the thing, we don't know what you guys are good at yet. Like you haven't had a chance, you as a party, that's not true. You guys are good at getting your stuff back so far. - That's a good thing. - I hope that's a running theme. - I mean, listen, that's a better track record than Firebrand had for an entire season. - What I'm saying, like you guys are in the middle of it.

- We have a thing that we're good at, that's a good thing. - Come here, come here. - We're just gonna retire now, call it good. Never hit the mansion. - There's a lot of trauma from that experience. - I don't know if you know anything about what we went through, but. - Ian, I beat the shit out of Kelsey for like a year and a half, like it was bad. - Literally every time we had, like every time we had a session, it was like, "Okay, okay guys, I know the last time was rough, but I think we have a good plan. We're gonna do it." And then the dice would fuck us over.

And it was literally, we never had a victory the entire time. I'm not like, it was rough. - You just need eggs and a blanket, he would have been made. - It was bad. - Yeah. - But you know, we live and learn, you know, luck's been better so far. Valerie. - Yes. - Well, would you like to roll? - Are you rolling the D10 or are you gonna? - Well, so, so. You know, you said D10 would get us there. I'm proposing we roll a D12. - Valerie, please, I'm begging you. - Well now, the cool thing about this is the risk reward thing is still there. So if you roll a D12 and let's say you get a six, seven, eight, something like that, or, you know, seven, eight, nine anything above, you know, a six, you'll, you'll get a better thing than you would have gotten for a D10.

And you saw what happened with the D10. You guys got really lucky on that one, but like, there's all kinds of really cool stuff. - There's also bad stuff. There's a lot of bad stuff. - There is. - This is not as bad as the Rod of Wonder. Let's keep that in mind. - No. - So we're way under the bar. - Where did you guys find the Rod of Wonder though? Who knows? - Who? - I like your moxie. I like the cut of your jib. - I'm just, I just feel extremely chaotic today. - Do it. - Ooh, I love it. - Okay, hold on. Let me ask you a question. Do you feel good about the roll or you just feel like spinning the revolver?

- Oh yeah, no, no, no. I'm, I'm, I'm. - Is that you? - No. - No, it's me. - Oh, I need five. - It's our travel die. That's it, that's it. - 95, we got it, we got it. - Well. - You guys walked straight into the ocean. You overshoot like you're just. - I just wanted to see. - That's easy to do with eight moons, honestly. - It really is. - It's true. - The water's so dense, it's huge. (laughing) Okay, D 12 hit us with it. - Okay. - A 10! - I was always gonna be a one. It was always gonna be a one. On my screen, it was on a two for like five seconds. (laughing) I was about to die.

- 10 out of 12, that's pretty good. - That's really good. Can I get, can I get one more roll from you please? Can I get two D fours? - Two D four, okay. Four. - That's gorgeous. Okay, so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take you guys and you guys are damn near at your destination, right? At the top circle is where you need to go, which is this lovely mansion that has been tantalizingly out of reach for so, so, so long. - It's a game of inches. - Yes. This is, this is a D and D players equivalent to edging for like three years straight. Like that's all we've been doing.

So finally, we're almost there. Now, while you guys are hiking, the area is gonna get more and more wooded. It starts off with a little patches of like big overgrown shrubs and trees, and then you're gonna get to, you're gonna get to a point where you just kind of like, look around and it's like, okay, well, if you're gonna build something out of the way, like a big ass mansion, like if you're an eccentric kook, like this guy seemed to be, you're gonna want it secluded a bit, right? You don't want it in a big valley or something. So as you guys are hiking through, you're gonna see a bunch of cool stuff.

There are flowers here that you've never, like you've never really seen before, at least not in the wild. And what's crazy is they look purposeful. They look like they are, like this entire area has maybe been cultivated. And according to your map, Kels, like this place, you're probably still a few miles away, but if maybe this was like a pet project or something, or like this person just had so much time on their hands that they just decided to just terraform acres of land around their mansion. And I would like everybody to please roll a perception check for me.

(gentle music) (dice clattering) - Ooh, 22. - Come on. - Oh yeah, look at that six. - Hey. (laughs) So another roll where the elves are crawling while I'm perception compared to everyone else. This is very funny to me. - So Calypso and Dagon. - Yes. - I would say as soon as you enter a place, obviously all of you kind of have your heads on a swivel and junk, but when you enter an area like this, it's like, okay. So I'm seeing like, obviously there's trees, which sadly is an adventure also means it's like, okay, let's start looking up. Let's start moving side to side.

You know, you just kind of like looking around and you're also, it's like, okay, well, there's flowers I've never seen before. Maybe there's monsters I've never seen before. Take a look at any suspicious looking vines, anything like that. We don't want to poison Ivy situation with a giant Venus fly trap or some crap. So you're just kind of like, okay, how kooky was this dude? Like how, like he seemed like so far, everything I've heard about him, he seemed a little weird. So making your way in here, eventually you're going to hear this little tinga ting ting sound.

And it's almost like a wind chime or something. It's like a tinga tinga tinga tinga tinga tinga tinga tinga. It's just gently kind of blowing. And since at this point, I would say it's probably like 1 PM somewhere in there. So. - Like the next day? - Yeah, like you guys had a nice long rest. You're fine. And then you woke up and hit a point where you're like, okay, this is the home run. We'll get there. And there'll be plenty of light. We're not going to enter a haunted house in nighttime. We're not stupid. - I feel like that's the best time to enter a haunted house for the atmosphere, you know.

- Tani may push to wait until it's dark. It's like, oh my God, y'all that's the best time. - I watched this by Bilbo Baggins. He goes to haunted houses all the time. - Thank you for YouTube. - Protectors. - Totally forgot about Tani. Dagon probably did too. - Wow. - No, that's okay. That's okay. She's gonna melt that resolve. She's gonna get through those icy barriers. - Listen, she's just happy to be here. - Honestly, right now it goes Dagon, but then right below haunted house though. Like, come on. - Priorities, priorities. - Take a ting ting, ting a ting. You guys are hearing this and you're gonna start like craning your head.

It's like, where the fuck is it coming from? And Calypso and Dagon are gonna spot what looks to be clusters of jewelry, medallions, earrings, that type of thing. But they're still connected to like ears and fingers and things like that. And they're purposefully laid out with like strings so that like they kind of like clang into each other. They're clang. And when you see that, like it's like, okay, what the fuck? Like it's very, you know. Obviously these things, like your first thought is like, okay, so there's still fingers there. There's still ears. So, okay, like what?

Like are these fresh? 'Cause if this happened a long time ago, that flesh would have got. But you're also going to see that it looks like these have been preserved in some way. Like they look not mummified or anything, but almost taxidermied so that it's like, okay, these like these aren't trophies. These are warnings. They are meant to be, this is almost like a no trespassing sign for real weirdos. And let's say, let's say you estimated that one piece of jewelry, barring earrings equals one person, right? It's like, okay, unless Mr. T walked through, like this is a lot of people, right?

Like everyone out there, Mr. T reference? Okay, look it up, Google it. - Wow. - I know, I got us. - We'll pity those fools if they don't get it. - Yada! - Mm. - Appropriate. - Mine is now 2023. (laughing) - I almost, to connect with the youth, I almost said, you know, my night off mohawk. That's a 15 year old reference in and of itself. It's like, Jesus Christ, nevermind. - Can I search for like traps or something? - Wait, how many people is it? - I, again, you guys are just, you're guesstimating, you're trying to count as many things. This looks to be a good 30 or 40.

And you're also going to notice in these trees, you're seeing a lot of spiderwebs, like big, big spiderwebs. - Okay, so because I don't notice that, can I go and press some flowers? - Yeah, sure. - And so like, I'm sure I have like a journal or a notebook or something, and I'd like to take some of the like really pretty ones and, you know, push them between the pages. - I figured Matilda was like, like one of those high schoolers with the overpacked Jan Sport book bag, that's just like five, six big tomes, like compacted with, like, you could see the outlines of the book wearing through the backpack.

- Listen, listen. - That's how. - Listen, listen. - I was there at one point. - Oh man, the day I got an e-reader, it was like, like literally like 20 pounds lifted off my back. It's like, what is this? - We all got a little scoliosis. - Write a passage. - Yeah, before the tech caught up. - So dangling body parts and jewelry. - Yes, here's the thing. In the midst of this, Dagon and Calypso are gonna notice that there's some rare bits of jewelry in there. Like this isn't just like, like it's like, okay, well, wait a second. You figure it's just like strewn out.

It's like, okay, here's your shitty, you know, here's your engagement ring or whatever. It's just to send a message. Does it ting? Does it tingling? Good, that's what we'll put out there. But there's some legit, like, oh, there's some jewels in there. There's some stuff that's worth something up there. Like Dagon, Dagon isn't the grave Robin type, right? However, I imagine Dagon comes from means and he would be able to look up there and basically just go, oh yes, there's, you know, 400, 500 gold worth of blah, blah, blah. Like he just sees, like he can transfer value through vision basically.

It's like, oh yeah, like it's nothing to him. And let's see, Calypso rolled the highest with a 22, right? Can I get a history check from you, Baboo? - Oh boy. Plus one, let's go. - Oof. - Yeah, no, it's a crit fail. Is that two? - Okay. - So no. - Let's put a pin in that, nevermind. So historically speaking, none of this like strikes you as like, it's like, I don't know, but there's a big fat ring up there, like a Super Bowl ring. Like it is like, only one of two types of people would wear a ring like this. A mafia don, maybe like, or someone who had a piece of jewelry enchanted, and it needed to be that large to like house the gemstone or whatever it is. 'Cause, you know, sometimes like there needs to be enough matter to actually enchant.

So you are both gonna see value up there. - Okay. And I believe, Michael earlier, you asked about checking for traps. - Yeah, kind of coming in here. Granted, I just realized I have a six. So it's more like maybe I'm just like checking the area out. 'Cause this is like a pretty abrupt change, right? Like from wooded to just flower. So at the very least, not that I know what anything that's going on, 'cause I really didn't see much. I'd rather be like, whoa, this is a change. Let me just check. Like, there's something I need to be like aware of. I think I wanted to change it to that, to the traps, 'cause it's an abrupt change.

- Yeah, I don't know if like, this was probably like conflicted on whether or not to like say anything, because it's like. - You'd be screwed if Fenris found it all. - Yeah, well, I mean, they don't really like care so much about like, I mean, Fenris can take jewelry or whatever, but it's more like, this was clearly like put here purposefully, also the big giant spiderwebs, and just like, and plus we're going to like the mansion and everything. It's like, it's not like this stuff is going anywhere apparently. So we can just like get it on the way out, like or something.

Like if we, like this, this seemed to be like an urgent thing. It's just, it's just creepy. Like it's not. And yeah, but that's what Tani has seen stuff. Tani got a 15, so. - Yeah, I forgot to roll for Tani. - No, it's okay. That's good. - Yeah, Tani will not be discreet. - Good, good, that's more interesting. - I think, well, I don't want to call a fuss, but it would be like, okay, Tani does not come from means. (laughs) - Yeah, well it's like the two like people from a rich background are the ones that see all this type of stuff. It's like, it's jewelry. - Oh, it's only money.

(laughs) - Ew. Tani would be, I don't, I think it'd be almost involuntary. It's like, holy shit. Like just like looking up there because like, there's like, she does it. Okay, imagine, Tagon has predator vision. I was talking about, it's like, oh yeah, he sees, it's like, yeah, that's actual polished silver. That's, you know, so imagine that being- - That's like a UI overlay. - Yeah, like Tani has the same thing, but it comes from a different place. Not, oh, I know what that is. Oh, that's a Chesterfield. And it's like, that looks expensive. Like it doesn't come from like a, I have, you know, it's like, look, that looks fancy.

That looks fancy and that looks expensive. So, so she is going to, it's like, guys look, look, look, look, look, look. - Tani, you said that you'd heard stuff about this place. Did you, did the body part sit in the woods ever come up? Is that not exactly what I was expecting? - No, hell no, I wouldn't. But I mean, it does kind of lend credence to the whole haunted house thing, right? - No, no, yes. - If we're setting a tone, like that's a good tone, right? - Good is a word that- - Well, if we want a haunted house, that's a good, like, you know, like, look, we know now people have died.

That's a good sign for finding a haunted house. And- - Well, to be fair, it's just their ears and fingers. I mean, they could have lived, but I mean, odds are, I guess they're probably dead. - Well, do you think, do you think anybody would mind if I like kind of climbed on up this tree? - No, no, no. - And shuffled on that branch? No, they wouldn't mind. - No, no, please don't touch anything. These are clearly not expensive. - Is your voice like- - Yeah. - Is your voice like authoritative like that? Are they like, do you have to climb the tree to get to them or are they, oh, okay, gotcha.

- Yeah, like they're, it's not super high up. It's like, I don't know, like, I don't know, 12 feet up or so, like, it's not crazy. It's just like, you know, I need to roll for a thing. And I never thought I would have to roll. - Do you have to roll to see if Tani's heart flutters? - Yes. - Oh. - Oh my God. Thank you. I need to see if she's like, daddy, like a little bit of a like, you know what I mean? Like, okay. - I mean, I remember when I was 16, like, (all laughing) this is a reasonable check. - Yeah, it's like, that's a man who knows what he wants. He's taking command.

Like it's, I need to know, that's all. So I'm gonna roll a D20 and we're gonna let fate decide. A one through 10. Yeah, right. It's like, oh, like, that's the opposite of he cleans up nice, it's like, damn, he grew a beard right in front of me. (all laughing) So here's what we're gonna do. One through 10. It's not a turn on, but like not ew. It's just more like, it's like, hey, you know. - I do what I want. - I can tell it's like, oh, hey. Yeah. 11 through 20. And the closer we get to 20, we'll, you know. So like, oh. (screaming) - Stop it. - Wait, a heart is a 20?

- That is a fucking crit. - That's very fitting. That's fitting. - Teddy comes, Teddy comes right away. (all laughing) - So that's what that is. - I'm still very wet. - So it's like, don't touch anything. Like she's like, okay, all right. Like she forgets about the jewelry. Like, and then like there's a beat. There's probably a beat. And like, you're gonna hear that above you. What do you want me to do? (all laughing) - Sorry, is Patrice also tricked up by you? - Oh no, it's a different check. - It's okay. - You know, hey. - Dagon's not. - Oh, spit in my mouth Dagon.

- He's, yeah, no. No, he's just gonna be like. - Just name it this episode. - Take a step back. Take a step back. - Just to see how greedy. - Clearly, while expensive, some of these are, this is clearly not, you know, ornamental. - I am also concerned about the giant spider webs. - The spider webs. I just got that, I just have this feeling that if we touch those, the spiders are coming. - I would like to. - I don't think the spiders hung them up there though. Like I'm, you know. - Do you really want to find out? - If the spiders hung them up there, then maybe the spiders like the decorations and we shouldn't mess with them.

- I. - It's rude. - I wouldn't normally do this. I wouldn't normally do this. With a 20 though, I think she'd start slipping in the word, sir, every once in a while. - Okay, listen, I was on board, now I'm not. - Hold on. - I was surprised she didn't do that at first with her first thing she said. - Because it's like, it's like, oh, clearly he's taken charge of this group. He's like the team captain. Like he's, it's like. - Take on the leader again. - I am perfectly happy. - That's how she interprets it. That's how she interprets it. Like that was. - Dagon would be a puppet if anything.

- Oh no, Colossal is very happy for people to think Dagon's the leader. Like it's COVID that, it's great. - I don't know if people, I don't know if that's plural, just Tani. (all laughing) - She's living a specific fantasy. - Yeah. - As all this is going on, I'd like to chuck a rock and see if I can knock down one of these. - Shrinks. - Or something. - Yeah. Yeah. Like a claw game. Like you just, you know. - Yeah. - Do me a favor, roll an attack. - Roll an attack. - Nothing. - Okay. - Just, yeah, whatever. - Oh God. Where am I gonna find it? - Do it. How about this?

Just do me a favor. - Here, I got it. I think. - Okay. You got it? - Yeah, I think so. - Okay. (suspenseful music) - No, I don't got it. I don't have a range. I can't find a range attack. - Do me a favor. Give me a, just give me a flat D20 and I'll add your modifier to it. - Okay, cool. Sounds good. - I got you. - Thank you. Thank you. Why? Oh, now it's not gonna let me roll a D20. - No man tune today. - Oh, there we go. - Holy shit. - Okay. - That's an 18. So whatever. Yeah, you're gonna. So what do you throw up there? Just a rock? - Yeah, just a rock or something. (laughing) - No.

(laughing) - You got the closest thing you can find. - So fast, all special. Yeah. - He needs to level up first and get a special feat first. (laughing) - How else is he gonna level up unless he gets XP? - You gotta throw him. Yeah, you gotta hug a rat. (laughing) Hugging a rat. So yeah, just a rock. So, oh man. Okay, with that attack. That's an 18 plus your mod plus it. So that's like a 23, something like that. You're gonna whip something up there and it's just out on this branch. So it's not meant to be like, it's not meant to be up there forever, but it is meant to like withstand like, weather and stuff like that.

That this has clearly been there for a while, but you're gonna like smack this and you're gonna hear like jingle jangle, jingle jangle. Like it's gonna, you know. And they're almost gonna bang into each other over and over again, like an executive ball clacker type of thing. And what we're gonna do, definitely something's gonna drop down. - Giant spiders. - Yes. Can I get a D4 to see how many things are gonna drop down? - Oh, sure, yeah. - How many spiders? - How many spiders are gonna drop down? - How many spiders? Stop. - Get until it is spiders. - Now on a scale of one to 10, what is the rarity?

And I want you to roll with advantage. - Oh, okay. You want me to roll a D10? - Twice, yeah. - Twice, okay. Oh, I just did one, but that's good. - I love that one. - A four. - Four. - Okay. - Better than a one. - Yeah, it's free loop guys. Like this, so this is gonna be like a big gaudy, emerald like choker type of thing, right? And these are all just kind of like, (mumbles) and that big Super Bowl ring thing is still up there. There's a necklace and it looks like, almost like this red tinged, like pearl on some is up there. And then this emerald necklace is going to just like, just like come undone.

Like the chain is just gonna like separate the back and gonna drop down. And I imagine this is a thing where you just like, like you just grab it, boom, free loop. There you go. - Yeah. - I see if it, it's probably too big, but I'm gonna see if it fits on dumpy at all. I'll just sort of like hold it up and see if it, but it's probably too heavy. - We can get that altered when we get back into town in like a year, but like, I'm just saying that's absolutely. - The actual, like the actual like. - When you get a bracelet that would work for him. - Like the actual like stone is probably like a 50 cent piece.

So like that won't weigh him down too much, but it's like a leather like strap, like a choker thing. So at worst you could just like, it's like you lost weight. You got to alter your belt, just put an extra hole in it. And just like, there you go, buddy. That type of thing. - Yeah, perfect. - I wrap it, I wrap it around his, maybe twice, you know, cause it's got some extra stuff for like a human neck or whatever, but. - Yeah, maybe we could also like trim it probably if it's leather. - Make a little belt for him. - So is it like on his back or is it dragging between his legs now?

(laughing) - Like as he walks this way. - I feel like we want it on his back. - On his back, yeah, yeah. - We need to see it. - The problem is, dumpy like most male rats have ginormous testicles. So like he's already dragging, like, you know, you want to put it on his back, you know? - This is canon. - It's good enough jewels. - This is canon, yeah. - Good, good. We're bedazzling him. (laughing) - Slowly but surely. - The richest team member is the rat. - And then I'll, yeah, I'll hold up another rock and just kind of turn to the group and shrug my shoulders.

- Do we see any like movement in the trees other than the fingers and stuff? - Can I, I have an ability called eye for detail and I can use a bonus action to make a perception check to spot a hidden creature or object, but in this case, creature. - I thought you were pressing flowers. - Yeah, I finished that. - I mean, I feel like- - It's been a second. - It's like a minute and also somebody throwing a rock to knock down a- - Okay, I'm just, Matilda has classically been doing her own thing. It's like, look, I'm just with you guys. I don't wanna know, but do me a favor.

Give me a perception check. Let's do it. - Perception check. - While you're doing that, I'm gonna ask for a roll from everybody, but first let's get this perception check in. All right, a 17. Can I get a flat D 20 from everyone here, please? Including Dan. - That's a lot of spiders. - Yep, we're adding all that together and those are the amount of spiders. - Aww. - Including me? - No, yes, especially you. - Okay. - A 15, a two, a one, a 14. - James, you're the winner with one. - Bella Robbins. - Um, so you guys are gonna hear like a, (munching) - I told you. - I told you.

- And Matilda is going to look up just in time to see what looks like two furry, almost like- - Funnies. - Almost like couch cushions peeking up. They're just these big like, and they're kind of like peeking out from this branch and attached to those are these long fangs and it's going to kind of like rear up and it's gonna get ready and just spit and it's coming right for day guy. But because you spotted it, I'm gonna give you a chance to do something about it. - Okay, okay, okay. - I don't know if you're joking right now. - I'm not. - Okay. - I don't wanna hurt the baby spiders.

- So I think, I think what I'm gonna, I think, I'm so sorry everybody. I think what, you know, Matilda sees this happening. She just goes, ah, and that's what she decides to do. - I mean- - I'm so sorry. - Flowers go everywhere. - Yeah, well, okay. I would imagine everyone is startled by that. - Yeah. - Yeah, for sure. - Reasonable, right? Okay, so here's what I'm gonna do. - Startled and furious 'cause he told everyone to not do anything. - Yeah, you know what? Tani was good. Tani did not do anything. That's, she may even point that out later. Like it's like, hey, I didn't do it.

- Whatever happens is Dagon at least gets some sort of advantage 'cause he's sort of waiting for something like this to happen. - I was gonna say, because one, you were the, you were the reasonable wet blanket on this one. And two, you were already kind of on edge and then someone goes, ah, I want you. I want you to do me a favor. Give me an acrobatics check or a dexterity save. What would Dagon be? Like, what would he be more, would he like jump out of the way or would it be just like your head on a swivel type of thing? - Oh, jump out of the way. - Okay, well then acrobatics maybe.

- Yeah, yeah, for sure. - We're shooting for 12 or higher, that's all. - A little bit more advantage. No, okay. - Oh, 13. - Oh, I saw the 11, I think. - You're gonna move. - Okay. (laughing) - Getting a look at the, yeah, okay. - Yeah, you do have stats, it's fine. Like acrobatics isn't your strong suit, but you know. So this kind of a bright green kind of a viscous fluid is just gonna eject from this spider and you're just gonna move out of time. Like it's just gonna hit the ground and the lump of like grass and clover and stuff it lands in is going to immediately start to be singed and you know, like kind of burn away.

Tani is going to start pushing you from the back and just like, run, run, run. Like she's trying to get everybody to run. I need an athletics check from everyone and as long as it isn't an eight or lower, everything's fine. - I got a minus one. - Me too. - I have a, no. (laughing) - One. - First. - Oh. - That's a zero. - No. (laughing) - Oh, 12 plus seven. So, oh God, okay, let me roll for Tani. Oh, geez. - No. It's zero. (laughing) - I can't talk to them. - Ooh, that's not much better, but it's a nine, at least, you know. Shit. I didn't want to do this. Okay, so spiders are going to start, you're going to hear movement in the shrubberies and the leaves and stuff like that.

And most of you are going to start to take off. Tani will roll a nine. So like she's last of the group, except for a Fenris who I don't believe moves at all. (laughing) - He actually moves towards the spiders. - Still looking at the jewelry. - He was pressing flowers. Like, yeah, or yeah, just it's like, you know what? I can climb up there real quick. It's like, I keep getting spit at and stuff. Tani's going to look really conflicted for just a moment. Like just kind of, it's like, 'cause she's looking, she's making sure nothing is attacking anyone, especially Dagon, but anyone.

And then she's going to look back at you two and then she's going to take a knife and she's going to stab herself in the hand. - Huh? - And she's going to twist this knife and like blood's going to start to pour out of her and she is going to like point her hand up at these, up at these branches and these inky tendrils are going to shoot out of the hole in her hand and it's going to start to knock spiders back and wincing through pain, she's like, run y'all run. Like she's telling you all just get up, go, go, go, go, go. - What? - What? Is she a blood face?

She said that she was kind of a spellcaster and that's what she meant. And it's not, it is not very well received by a lot of people, especially the person she has a crush on maybe. Magical purists from a city of magic, magic, magic, magic. I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night. (laughing) - What? - I want a daddy Dagon t-shirt, like I want it. - Who doesn't? (laughing) - We don't have to stop. - Don't worry Kelsey, you'll definitely get to that thing I mentioned the next time you play. You'll definitely get to. - You're there, you're there, you know you're there.

You're there, you're right outside. You've got a little spider problem in your front lawn, but you guys are, you're in the yard. You're, you just, you know. - I didn't get to scold bittersweet yet. (laughing) - You will. (laughing) - Do we know? - They gotta look forward to something James. (laughing) - Yeah. - Do we know their name is bittersweet? Do we all know that now or is it just a. - That's up to, that's a kind of up to Ian. Cause like I, like they had a conversation. - We met up back with the group, like Galypso said that. - Yeah, I just don't recall.

- Yeah, I'm totally okay. It's not a secret or anything like that, so. - Okay. - It does make it difficult to address you. It's like, it's like you, no mouth. Like it's, you know what? I was. - That's probably what Dagon would say anyway. - Yeah, the Thedan. But I was honestly, I was waiting to, I was waiting to like adopt a name from the group. Whatever that, whatever the group was going to call Thedan. But bittersweet, whatever. - I don't think we've come up with anything better. Yeah, that's pretty good. - That's how you end up with a name like Dumpy though.

That's the problem. - Yeah, well I was going to roll with it. I was like, whatever happens, happens, but. - We didn't, I don't know if we got a dump date this episode, but we'll, you know. - Dumpy got a belt. - Dumpy got a belt. - I think that's a pretty safe date. - Dumpy got a belt, what? - We got a good, that's true. - We got a good dump date. - I'll slip the dump date in there. Did you guys see the graphic for the dump date? - No, I didn't. - I don't think I did. - Okay, hold up, hold up a sec. - Where can I see? - Hold up, I got you. This isn't your last episode, so hold on a sec.

I'll find the exact, like it's towards the end of our last.