Trials

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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Without further ado, let's get on to today's episode. (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (birds chirping) (birds chirping) - I should go for a run today, but it looks like it could rain. Sierra says save on epic rain jackets. If you're also thinking, but I can't go out in these beat up old running shoes. Sierra says save on top brand running shoes. And if you're still thinking, but I'm also busy performing brain surgery. Well then we say, you really should have led with that. Sierra, let's get moving to your local store, like now, go. - Empower is here to help answer your financial questions and empower what's next.

Because if you're like most people, you've probably had your fair share of stressors. Like will you be able to afford a third kid? Will you be able to do everything you want during retirement? And what if you outlive your savings? Join 18 million Americans and take control of your financial future. Start today at empower.com. - Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves, huh Jason? I'm the dungeon master going around the table, starting with Xavier. - Hello, this is me Xavier. I play Zozo, the dragon born warlock rogue and everything's going flawlessly so far.

The recording is good and it will continue to be until we finish this dungeon. - We haven't tried to record this session four times. You've tried to record this session four times. - That's true. - Mr. Ryan Garner. - Hi everyone, my name is Ryan Garner, AKA bad luck Ryan. I can't seem to roll anything, but I play Criv, the dragon born paladin. - And Ryan Haywood. - Hello, I'm your friend Ryan Haywood and I have the good fortune to play Clover's cousin, Olmo. - Speaking of Clover, last and certainly not least, Mandith. - Mandith, yes, I am Mandith. I play Covereth, Olmoeth, this is cousinethith.

- Yes. - Mandy, the reason I'm introducing you last is because we are just wrapping up with Theriathon. I almost said DragonCon, that's not true. That's not even, that's later. But we're done with Theriathon. It was wonderful, you guys were amazing and we had a ton of fun for 12 hours straight. Now, there was a little bit of time at the end of your session if memory serves. And what we did with that time was each one of you guys got a little bit of a riddle, like a little trivia question. I believe we polled you from Teen Vogue. So... - They were hard. - Yeah, they were questions I did not expect in Teen Vogue, but maybe that's just me being ageist, I don't know.

- I wish I got the chemistry one, I would have gotten that one, but no, I got the art one. I don't care about art. - I mean, it could have been the Prime Minister of Poland that you got. - Oh God, yeah. That was, I was just... - I feel like whoever was writing for Teen Vogue did that on purpose, where you're like, oh, Teen Vogue, I'm gonna get a question about Harry Styles four years ago. And it's like, who is Marie Curie? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like I wasn't ready for that. So the thing is you didn't get your question correct. So there was a little bit of a penalty.

So there's a little bit of a risk reward type of thing going on today. So there's some good news and bad news. Well, there's more bad news than good news. So we'll start with the good news. If you get into combat today and if you hit something, you're gonna do double damage to it. If you miss, you're gonna randomly hit one of your teammates for double damage. And I wanna say, if you go back and watch the stream, Mandy seemed equally as excited for both of these projects. Like she was fine. - It's very Clover. To be like, whoa, sorry. - And I don't know how we managed to do this, but you, oh yeah, you also have to drink tonight.

And anybody who knows Mandy and alcohol knows that those two should probably stay on opposite sides of the street. But when they do meet up, it is an old friend from college that is not kind. It is a bad influence. Mandy cannot handle her alcohol. I love you very dearly, but yes. So she's gonna make nothing but great decisions tonight, I'm sure. But the, you have two drinks, stop. - One at a time. - Christy made it for me and they're, I think a little stronger. - Little Christy. - She's like, maybe sip this. It's like, but it's delicious. I kind of want to just pound it.

- The other thing that I remember about Mandy and alcohol over at Dragon's Hall is that Mandy becomes a human steam engine at that point. - Steam engine? - Yeah, you get like hot and sweaty. You fog up every day. - I do, I do fog up. - Yeah. - Keep an eye on your glasses throughout the episode. - No, that's not fair, 'cause that was Dragon Con, which everything is steam and hot. - It is, it's very hot. - We were in a very air conditioned bar. - Shut up, Jason. - That is a good point. - We were in Central Atlanta. - And the basement of a major hotel. We weren't in the hot Atlanta sun.

- That's true, we weren't outside or sitting in a, you know, an outside patio, no. - Now when we were in the hooters and your glasses were steaming up, that made sense. - I mean, yeah, yeah. I get that. Like we're all basically cartoons. Like I get it. - There was the one that we really liked. I was like, yeah, nice. - Yeah, no, I get it. - Mindy, you're a little far from your mic. - Okay, I'm going closer. Cuddling with the microphone. Sorry. - She's singing now. - It's starting. - She's drifting back. - Who said that? - I'm so happy. So good. - So we should probably get started before.

(laughing) - I'm gonna have another sip. - This is now a beat the clock challenge. - I gotta put a timer behind me here if I could. - It's really good. - So let's go back really quickly for a quick recap. We have tried to record this session now four separate times and it is, man, we did figure out the tech. Well, I didn't figure out shit. Xavier figured out the tech stuff and good job, Xavier. - Yeah. - Legend. Xavier. - Yeah. - Legend. - I unplugged it and plugged it back. - No, okay, let's give you credit. - It took four months. (laughing) - More than just turn it off and back on.

- You did. - You had to talk to your ISP. You had to talk to Zencastr. You had to, you know. - Talked to a bunch of people, but then at the end I figured out, oh wait, option number one was the issue. Okay. - That's why we do that. - That's why we explore all your options. - Which you did. - Yeah. - And I wanna be clear, I would not have solved option one if this was my problem. I would have said, "Welp, I guess I'm never D&D-ing again." But no, you're the legend. I figured it out. - Thank you. - Just moved to a new town, buy a new computer. - Correct. (laughing) - I live here now.

- I guess Wisconsin. - We're going just for recording. (laughing) - I love you, Wisconsin, France. - You need more here. Here, I'll drink it for you in your honor. Oops. - No, no. - I'm not good. - You know what? They ain't my characters. (laughing) - So here's what we're gonna do. Last time, you guys fell into a situation where you accidentally discovered the cult of the Blackwing, this long forgotten dragon worshiping cult. They didn't like that term, but it was kind of a sign to them by history. So you guys stumbled upon this huge worshiping ground, something like that, but there is a dragon that is not a Ruthimar, kind of plastered all over the place.

And you decided to cross the threshold of these big double doors and walk in, and you found out that everyone's dead, and not just dead, they were clawing to get out. They were trying to leave and they are all dead. So something went very, very, very wrong. And you guys took it upon yourself to kind of solve a mystery. You guys got your mystery machine and you got about six feet in, and then we stopped for about winter. So we're back and we're gonna give this a try. So what we lost was basically four whole minutes of you guys walking in, looking around, seeing a bunch of corpses, and then looking in this huge foyer, there's a couple of double doors, there's two different doors on the far Eastern wing and near you on the Western wing, there are also two doors.

You basically just picked the door in the West wing and walked in. And when you walk in, door's gonna shut behind you and there is a long hallway about 25 feet wide. It's a pretty big corridor, right? And there are these kind of wavy force fields almost. They don't look like they would hurt you necessarily, but that's only because the color's kind of a calm, like a cyan almost, but they do look solid. And as you kind of stand there, words are gonna materialize on the surface of this wall. And here's what we're gonna do. You know what we're gonna do, but they don't know what we're gonna do because this is where we got when we lost everything.

- I don't know anything, Jason. - Exactly. We're gonna ask you a series of increasingly difficult riddles. And these are straight from the D&D community. Oh man, I plunged the depths of Reddits. And so there's some interesting ones here. So if they're bad, it's not my fault. - Had time to step up your riddle game in the meantime. - I definitely did. I was like, well, if I'm just sitting here, I might as well get some good riddles. I've never been a riddle guy. - Time to get rid of my riddle cheat sheet that I made. - That's why I didn't wanna say a site or a thing or you know what I mean?

So we're gonna go around. We're gonna go around here. And each one of you are gonna get a chance to answer. And this is how it's gonna work. If you answer correctly, we move forward another 20 feet until we get to the end of this hallway, right? If you answer incorrectly. - Mandy punches us. - Okay, so if you answer incorrectly or just don't know, you have a chance to toss it back to your teammates. But if they don't get it correctly, there's a big penalty of some sort. - I'm going to apologize now. You might as well all be ready to answer every single one of my questions.

- That's not nice based. You have a chance. - I don't care. I'm horrible at this. - This is based on, here's the thing. This is based on smarts and you're a smart guy. - I don't know about that. I'm a pretty much a fake it till you make it type of guy. - All right, he's faking it. Very good. - Bench him. - You're going to lose us this super game. - The super game. - That is what this episode is called. I'm doing you all with the service. All right. - You're our own Steve Harvey for today. - I need a big fucking suit. Where's my big suit? - Now we're talking. - Are we ready?

- We are. - All right, Xavier. What is better when it is old rather than young and healthier when it will be smaller? I'm going to set a timer for one of these. If you don't want me to show you the timer to put pressure on you, I won't do it. - How much time? - I think I'm going to set that for minutes. That would be, I think 30 seconds. - All right, that's fair enough. Yeah, okay. What's better when it's older or when it's younger that are healthier. - And healthier when it's smaller. - What's healthier and smaller? - Sozo's thinking real hard. An egg. - An egg.

- Okay, it makes no sense. Sozo's not good at this. - So, Sozo's going to light up obviously, like as you approach this. So you kind of get a sense. It's like, Oh, Sozo's going to answer this. But then as you answer, there's going to be this flash of red and then the rest of the group is going to light up. - Okay. - You guys don't have to. You guys don't have to answer. - Can we talk it over as a group or do we just have to find out? - For 30 seconds, sure. - Okay. - Oh goodness gracious. - So guys, if I had to guess, I'd say a grape as it gets older becomes wine.

The older wine is better, gets healthier. When it's small, it becomes a raisin. It's a little healthier than a grape. - Sure. - That is surprisingly good. - You have no idea how many riddles Jovi had me. It would always run us through them. I was bad at them. - Well, I like grapes. - Give it as your answer. You got five. - Grapes, please. - Ken. That is incorrect. - That was a good shot though. - It was. - The answer we were looking for is a wound. - Oh. - We're gonna get zero out of all of these. - We're gonna go through every bad trial for this. - The D&D community, right, right.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Much smarter than us. - Who is this D&D community? - What if it's infected? I'm suspicious. - Well, here's the thing. It's subjective, right? It's subjective. - It was a grape. - I get it. - Grape. - Grape works. - Grape works. - I'm drinking. - So here's what's gonna happen. Above you, you're gonna see this stone panel slide, and you're gonna see nozzles come into the room. - Oh shit. - And they're not gonna do anything, but a new riddle is going to appear. - Oh, you're so dead. - Oh, fuck. (laughing) - You're very dead. - Here lies Pac-Bound.

- Oh, he got that next one. - All right. - Okay, you know what? I'm gonna pick a good one. - Oh, good. - Why? - Okay, I got you. I got you. Here we go. Are you ready? - Who is it? - I think Mandy. I think it's you. - Oh, God damn it, okay. - The earlier the better. - Yeah, that's what I'm trying to, yeah. - I've already got you a little bit, so. - Wait for it. - Okay, here we go. - She's drinking already. - It's delicious. It's so good. I'm getting fuzzy. - Your drinking is bad for us. - It's bad. - Oh, God. Okay. If you feed me, I will live. But if you make me drink, I will die.

What am I? - Oh, oh, oh. - Oh, yeah, okay. - I was like, oh, I know this one. - I forget. - Oh, this is the best one, yeah. - Give me a few. - Come on, Glover. - Cooper's like, but I like drinking. I like eating. Cousin, help me. - I can't for a little bit yet. - Cousin. - It's okay, we got you. We just gotta wait for the light to. - Okay. - Do you wanna try and answer the rest of the group? - I mean, do you wanna say it or do you want me to say it? - Go for it. - Zozo's going to create a small flame in his hand. - Oh boy. - It's fire. - It's baby shit. I mean, fire is answered.

(laughing) - He catches baby shit and it goes right against baby shit. (laughing) - What kind of riddle master is this? - That is correct. We're going to move you guys 20 feet forward. I don't know why I turned into a vampire. - Further down this tunnel, closer to your true form. - So those nozzles are still there, but oh, you guys, oh yeah, they're still there, but that's good. Like you guys are moving forward. - Back there and not here. - They are back there. - Okay. - Oh. - Yes, they are back there. So now the riddles got to get a little harder, right? - No, not at all.

- Tiny bit, like tiny bit. There's only two more riddles guys. There's only, you know, assuming you get them right. - Assuming they come back tonight. - Yeah, okay. Here we go. - Okay. - Jesus. Mr. Garner, I'm going to give you a choice. Do you want one about word association? Or? (laughing) Do you want one about word association or physicality? - Physicality? - Okay. - Correct. - We moved forward. - Yay, you did it. (laughing) - I'll drink to that. (laughing) - It's really good. - I can fly, but not in the sky. I bid adieu at night and say hello in the morning. I am part of you and follows you lead.

I dress in black and flee the light, but without it, I wouldn't exist. What am I? - Is that a shadow? - It is a shadow. - It's a shadow. - That's baby shit. (laughing) - Shadow flame. - That is never the answer. - I mean, it could be like to one question. - I started to write that down. I was like, this is way too long to write. So yeah, no, it's, and that's the thing. So sometimes the more you talk, the more it confuses people and you're not looking through the trees. Like, so that's interesting. See, you got one right, right off the bat. And you're the only person who have done so.

You're a smart boy. - I guess. - Stop. (laughing) - I'm so glad I have done that. - I faked it once more. - I think the right answer is not faking it. - No. - Moving on. - You did, whatever. - Make it till you make it. - I got a 1200 on my SATs. You know, I faked it. - I did not get a 1200 on my SATs. (laughing) I don't even remember what I got, but it wasn't a good score. - All right. Mr. Heywood, are you ready? - I'm ready. - If a train leaves Detroit. - God, fuck you. - God. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - Holy shit. (laughing) - Everyone knows that Detroit is a black hole.

But nothing makes it out of that question. (laughing) I'd love you to try to. - Train industry left Detroit. - Oh, that's true. - Here's the thing though, if the train through Ohio got derailed, then it never went anywhere anyway. - Oh. - All right, here we go. This is potentially your last riddle. - Okay. - You cannot enter this room. What room is it? - Mushroom. - Absolutely correct. - You're so good. - Wow. - You had that answer on dial. - You knew all of them. - That blew my mind. - That's crazy. - So that's one you knew before, or you just figured it out? - Just thought.

- Did you study the riddles? - This guy. - No, that was a blank sheet of paper that I threw over there. - No, I was just curious. - I studied every riddle in your space. - You just went through like, out of the riddles. - Well, damn. - Hoover's like, my cousin is so smart. Just like cuddling with, almost like you're so cool. Oh my cousin, I love you. - Oh, you too cousin. Yeah, we did great as a group. - Yeah. - Are we at a fork now? - We are at a fork. So you guys see, obviously, what your torches illuminate. And what you're seeing here, and you're free to kind of like move around this little general area a tiny bit.

There are four columns in this room and a branching pathway heading north and south. Now somewhere in this structure is the answer to what the hell killed these people. And if there's another black dragon, where is it? What happened to it? Is it something that's still alive? If not, what happened? That type of thing. So it's a big Zozo mystery, but I'm sure everyone else is kind of curious. - I'd like to take a look at those four columns. See if there's any particular statues or scrawlings or anything on them before progressing. And while he's doing that, Crib is just kind of, he's gonna stay within the columns, but just kind of poke around and just kind of look down hallways.

- While they do that, Omo will look at walls. I'm kidding, Omo, just play a little bit of music on his instrument there and just try and keep morale out. - I could use that in real life. Just like just in the middle of the day, just someone noodling on a guitar. It's like, yeah, all right, okay. - Underwall. - Maybe. - Gopher's just cuddling like, ♪ I don't know what's going on ♪ ♪ So I cuddle ♪ - He absolutely tries to, that music absolutely he does his best to match the way she's singing. - Can I get a perception check from both Crib and Zozo, please?

- Yeah. (soft music) - All right, okay. - 13. - 13 for Zozo, 18 for Crib, not a competition, but that's good. - Yes, it is. - So, it's a bit interesting. Each one of these pillars seems to have a shape carved into it. - Yeah. - A shape and a number, strangely enough. Going clockwise, it essentially to us would look like dice symbols. Six, eight, 10, 12. (soft music) And each one of these has like a slight, like a slight color hue to them. So red, blue, green, orange. - All right. - I can, is that the association to each number? Like six is red? - Yes, okay. So red, blue, green, orange.

Six, eight, 10, 12. Do you share that with the rest of the group? - Sorry, I was assuming they were Dragonborn colors, but that's, you said orange, so they're not. - Can you repeat the colors? - Red, blue, green, orange. - Okay, good. - I'll go black. - Hey, so those insulted. There's no green, nevermind. Okay. I don't get it. - Oh, what don't you get? - Oh, well, there's numbers and colors on these pillars. - Oh, well, well, what are they? - I don't know, they're not stopping us. - Oh, hold on, let me look. - I don't have to say baby shit. - And he gets up and he looks at the baby shit on the columns real quick.

- Sure, sure. - And he's like, okay, he sees the numbers, he sees the colors and he goes, well, the numbers are all double how many letters are in each color. - What? - Red has three letters. There's the six there that's double. Blue is four letters, there's the eight that's double. Green is five letters, right, yeah. And it's the 10 there. And then orange is O-R-A-N-G-E. Yeah, that's six and it's a 12, so it's double. Everything's doubled. - Who are you and what did you do with Olmo? - Yeah, are you doing some mind palace shit right now? - So, okay, I think I figured it out, right.

When it comes to common sense shit, it's just whatever is directly in front of him is there. - Yeah. - But intellectually. - Into what? - Yeah, that. - Okay, then, then what? - Oh, I don't know that part. - Okay. - Like. - That good? - How the fuck did you do that? - Like seriously, no, no, no. Put the game aside for a second. Me as the DM is gonna step out from one of the columns and like, what the fuck game are you playing here? (all laughing) - Appears in the ceiling. - Oh, you. - One of my secrets is that I was never dumb. My school had gifted programs where they set the kids that were too smart for them to know what to do with.

I was one of the people that went to those. Not that I deserved it, I just read earlier than most people and they didn't know what to do with me because of that. And so I just kept going with the people who were actually legitimately smart. The side effect of that was I kept learning smart things with smarter people and enough of it sticks and enough kinds of thought patterns stick. And some of these you sometimes get right. - And it's all paying off today. - D&D, that's the. - That's so cool, Ryan. That's so cool. - That's the story right there. - Let's keep going.

Let's just, okay, Omo, Omo, you take the lead. (all laughing) Just point him in a direction. - I mean, sure we can, but I mean, we know why the numbers match the colors, but we don't know what that actually, what we're supposed to do with that on these columns. - Yeah, we don't know what it means. - Unless we walk up to the column and we tell them that specifically. Hey, columns, the numbers are double the letters of your color. - It's baby shit. (all laughing) - There's a fascination of baby shit today. - Is that Canadian slang? Like I don't know. - I don't know.

I'm trying something new today. - Oh, okay. - I wanted to catch on. - They don't respond if you're waiting for them to like yell back, like nah. - And he shrugs at you guys and says, I don't know. - I got nothing. - Okay, so real quick for perspective, right? It was going clockwise from the direction that we came in. Right, so just getting, writing it down. The one that Cribs at right now is that 10 green. - 10 green. - Oh, you're asking me. - Yes. - Sorry. - Yeah, yeah. - Uh, so yes, 10 green. So yes, so yeah. - Gotcha, okay. I just wanted to get perspective. - So six, eight, 10.

- Yeah, okay. So almost at six. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah. So Cribs is gonna take his notebook out and he's gonna just kinda write this out real quick and then kind of put it, throw it back in his backpack and be like, don't know if it pays off right now, but it may pay off later. Could I see anything down these hallways with the 18? (gentle music) Yes, like you're going to, obviously it's gonna be a lot of like shadows dancing on the walls and stuff. And you're gonna make out that there are on either side, a couple of large engravings, like big square engravings.

On the north side and the south side, there's two on each. And those seem to match up with the patterns on the columns here. - Okay, so while, like after he kind of makes that statement throws the book back in his backpack, everyone don't necessarily go down there just yet, but if you look and he's gonna like take the south most column, he's gonna kind of point them out. And I also think, and he's gonna kind of go over to the north side, not necessarily going outside of the pillars just yet. And there's two more here. Do we think that that correlates to this or is it trapped?

- I mean, it's probably safe to assume that everything's a trap in one way or another. - Fair point. - I like red. - Yeah, I... - I can go trigger the traps and dodge them and deactivate them doing so. Well, that's what I can bring to the group. - Based on the riddle nozzle thing that we don't know the scale of any trap. Scale 'cause we're Dragonborn. - Ah, ah. - So smart tonight. - Zozo's feeling very small today. - Zozo, can you go over to the six red side? And before you do anything with the plate, can you see if anything is on it? - On it. - He goes, check it out.

- I assume the match you said? So he kinda like... - Yeah, so like you're like, when you go down there, you're gonna see that there's nothing, like it's just kind of an engraving, but it's kind of in the shape of a door. But there is an object sitting right in front of this. Like it's kind of wedged into the wall and it is essentially like a big stone die, like a die, like the shape of the die that, you know, yeah. So there's the object kind of wedged into the wall and kind of a socket just above it. - Okay. The object, so it's a die, like it has multiple faces that it could turn to match a different number.

Any colors I can see here? - The die are color-coded exactly like the, like the, you know, the red, blue, green, orange, like. - Okay. - Yeah, so on this side, it'd be red and blue, the opposite hallway, it'd be green and orange. - Do I just match them? Feels too simple. Even I could figure that out. - Do we subtract it? Is this one three instead of six? I'm curious, is it the same die at every location? - Oh no, you're right because it's six, eight, 10. It's a six-sided die. It's a cube. - Yeah, so six-sided die, eight-sided, so yeah. - So just because Ryan figured it out so quick, we didn't have time to think about it, but yeah.

- Okay, so if this is red, then that means I put it on three here 'cause the column is six. Thanks, thanks, Omo. - Glad to help, I think. - Okay, I'm gonna put it at a facing three in the red. - You wanna go do four just next to you? - Okay. - So, okay. - I do four. - So the second you put three into the red slot. Oh my God, I am so proud of you, Ryan. I just wanna say that 'cause holy shit, like took me an hour to write. I thought it'd take an hour to read. - It would have taken me two. - So this carving is going to light up red and it is going to sink into the wall and slide over.

And this really strong vacuum is going to start to pull you into that room. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Can I brace myself? - You all can. Yours is gonna be with disadvantage 'cause you're right there. - Oh, all of us, okay. - Oh yes, all of us, like, yes. - So can I get a constitution saving throw when we're looking for 14 or higher? - Yeah. - It's working as intended. - For everyone, right? - Yes. - Whoa. - Look at you with the big old. - Omo with a crit, oh my God. - He's a beefy boy. - I did it. - Clover did too. So Zozo and Crib are going in, how poetic.

- I love it. - This is the arc in the anime where you guys become like, like you go from embittered rivals to like a respect. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop jumping. There's two men in a room. It doesn't mean they have to kiss. (all laughing) - We've all seen that TikTok enough times now. - It's not romantic. - It's not romantic. They just, yeah, just raw. - This is a little straw. - I mean, who knows? It may be a freezing cold room and we have to cuddle up next to each other. - Cuddles? Oh, guys. - You should go into the room for the cuddles. - The A&DR podcast at Gmail.

I don't actually know what the email is. (all laughing) - Hi. - So there's gonna be, it looks pitch black. Like honestly, it looks like kind of a tar and you're going to be sucked in and it's going to ripple and then just kind of, just be smooth as class again. And that suction is going to stop, but that stone wall is going to start to shut. And I'm going to give Omo and Clover, just a chance to do something if they'd like to. - No, I think they're fine. - 'Cause then they got eaten. - No, does the pillar do anything different? 'Cause we're right by the red pillar.

- Oh, it's going to start to like pulse red. - Anything in particular on the pillar or just the pillar itself? - Just the pillar itself, like the etchings and stuff are just going to, like imagine it's all decked out like a streamer's bedroom, like just, you know what I mean? - So the vacuum itself stopped once the two of them got sucked into it and the door is shutting. - Yes. - Is that correct? - That is correct. - Do we, okay. Omo will run over to the door and see if he can examine some kind of means of stopping it. - Okay. - Give me an investigate. Gotta be quick.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Investigation, almost great investigation. Yeah. - Ooh. - Ooh, that's a three, big old three. - Omo is super great at that. I am looking at my items. I don't have anything that I could use to try and block it off. He thinks about like things that he can try and put in the tracks to block them. He can't. He looks around, he looks for anything that's kind of like a loose rock and failing to find anything, he tries to hit something with a hammer to just kind of damage the tracks enough to keep the door from closing.

- Give me an attack, just to see. - Okay. - Yeah, give me a big old swing, just to see what's up. - You got it. - As soon as there's actions, where are inventory? Normal roll. - Almost one down from Andy. - He almost went down. - Yeah, so you're gonna thud this thing. It's a 16, you're gonna thud this thing and it's definitely gonna, it's just not gonna stop. It is just about closed to the point where no one can fit through it. - He pulls out one of his smaller throwing hammers, hoping the stone is enough and he tries to wedge it in between. - Okay. - Just to kind of keep the door from closing all the way.

- And that's gonna, like there's definitely a lot of pressure coming in on that, but it's not closing. On the other side, you guys are going to be on the floor. Like it kind of violently like sucked you guys in there and the room is going to light up bright red. And I need one of you to give me a dice roll. - Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. - I can do it. - Ryan. - Yes. - I need you to give me a D six, please. - Baby shit. - Of course it's a D six, it's the bedroom. - Or K. - Ooh. - Okay. - I want a super cut of Xavier just saying baby shit. - Baby shit's gonna be weird. No context, that's the TikTok.

Susan? Yeah. - Hi Susan. - I'm still waiting on my back. - She's not here. - I just think that would, that clip would be great. - Honestly, why wasn't that used? Four zombies are going to come shuffling out of the darkness. - Oh no. - And they are going to shuffle, obviously shuffle toward you and they are going to attack. And here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna set you guys up in here, let's say, like you're kind of here and there you go. And let's get you some zim zams. - This feels good. - Yeah. - Get off me, Grif. Oh no, wait. Come back. Baby shit. - Yeah, so I was gonna see them kind of like rise and shimble shamble is gonna be, oh, you should have stayed dead.

- Oh, I like that. It's really good. - And he's gonna, he still has his, I'm pretty sure six months ago, I remember Zozo manifesting his sword already. So I don't have to use an action for that. Have it. - Yeah, I mean, who knows at this point, like we perform these shows quarterly. So like, I think we can, we can drop that in, that's fine. - All right, let's drop some zim zams in this room. Zim zams. It's a small room too, so. All right, can I get initiative from you guys? - Oh yeah. - What about us? - Yeah, technically I have the door wedged open just enough to at least see in there.

- Well, it's pitch black is the thing. It's like Atari goo over the thing. - There's something obscuring our vision. - There is, yeah. - Atari goo, that's a specific thing. - We can add you to the combat tracker obviously though. I think it's fair. - Yeah. - I think that's fair. - Okay, let's begin that combat. Zombie number one is going to, oh, well shit, I guess we're going to close in on, on Criv. - All right. - And we're going to slam. Let the boys be boys. Oh my God. Yeah, I went to middle school dances, all right. 13 does a 13 hit. - 13 does not hit. - Good, good, you don't want a zombie hitting you.

- Clover, so you're watching all this happen. This door, it's shutting, there's like, what's your thoughts? What's your take? - She is basically like, first, there's a lot of number talk and she's like glazed over. Just like, I like red. And then, you know, the swishy swish happened and their friends vanished and Omo is trying to close it. It's like, there must be things there. I want to see things. And so she's going to just go, okay, Omo, I'm going to go see what's happening, goodbye. And just going to weep through the door. - Oh, do you fit anymore? I think only like a small hammer was holding it open at this point.

- I'm squishy. - You are squishy. - Do you see, do I fit? - You're pretty squishy. I'm going to say, I'm going to say yes. But mostly because your character looks like a salamander. - Oh, dear. - Looks a little bit like a salamander. I know that's a little racist. - Omo, help me, goodbye. - So yeah, let's say you're on the other side. You're on the other side of this now. And you see Kriv and you see Zozo and you see four zombies. - Just like, oh. - By the way, if you turn around, you're not going to see a doorway. - Kriv, Zozo, what's going, oh, those look like bad guys.

I can hit them, right? - Yes, hit away. - Okay, hard? - Very hard. - Okay, and so I'm going to attack the first one by Kriv, so this left one and be like, oh, yes. - Everybody, get ready. Mandy, as long as you always hit the enemy, you're going to do great. And these are zombies, so you'd have to really biff it. - Yeah. - And Kova's going to like go, oh gosh, and just going to like, she's going to hunker down and this pink glow is going to go around her and little sparkles go and she's going to thrust out her fist and sparkles are going to head towards the zombie.

Just pink sparkles. - Yes. - Got it. - This is the first time that we've actually seen her fight. - Yeah. - I think so, actually. 19, I'm pretty sure hits a zombie. Yeah, you're good. - Okay, and just doing a standard one without any fancy things. - Buh buh buh buh. - You remember you do double damage whenever you hit, so that's 14 instead of seven. - Yeah, so it's a while ago. - Yeah. - What? - It's sparkle time. - My God. - I'm so happy. - Anything else? - Don't think so. I don't get double huh? Nope, that's it. - Are we going to find out that Mandy performs better drunk in combat?

- Yes, he's so good. - I don't want this double damage all the time. - We got a big fight coming up. I'm afraid you're gonna have to get really plastered. - Right. - Christy. - Zozo, you are up. - Zozo is gonna yell. He's gonna yell scorching barrage. And he's gonna count like put his, he's got once in one hand, he's got his sword closer to his chest. The other hand, he'll extend towards the zombies. And in succession, he'll fire like three rays of fire. Gassing scorching ray. I'm gonna start with the one next to Criv. Gassed spell. - Yeah, shoot them all while they're still at range.

- First attack normal, I guess with the plus two, 'cause he's next to them. - Yeah. - Two. - Oh, she's Louise. - Crit one, we got our first crit of the night. Give me D six to see if we're rolling on the table. That's not what you wanna see. Oh, we're not rolling on the table. - Okay, that's what I wanna see. - Let's keep going with the same guy, second roll. - What is happening? - It's not on the side. It was between the 20 and the two. - Did you, it chose two. - Okay, well it's 'cause it's next to you. - Oh no. - I'm gonna try one last time 'cause I got three of them.

- So first one's a total of an eight, second one's total of a nine. - That's great. - Let's shoot for three or higher, come on. - Okay. - Oh Jesus. - That's a little better. - I will do more damage. - Almost went for the one. 19, 26 in total, that will definitely hit that zombie. - I'll do two D six fire damage. - Eh, five damage. - Five damage, not bad. - Oof. - So that zombie's looking pretty beat up, kind of scorched and singed and covered in glitter. Like, doesn't look great. - I was hoping to spread the damage around a little more. (both laughing) - At least it wasn't on the fumble table.

- That's true. - Small miracles. - Elmo, you're still outside. - Yes. - What do you do? - Elmo is, now that he's got the door wedged, he's going to attempt to destroy the door. - Okay, how so? - Well, he's got a big hammer. - Okay, well, okay, no need to brag. - Right, but also he has a hammer that he carries as a weapon and also a hammer that he carries as a melee weapon. And also, okay. - And also a huge penis. (both laughing) - A very Captain Hammer of you. All right, let's do this. - 17 will hit the door. Now you're gonna have to do a bunch of damage to this door to break it, but it is possible.

- There you go. Take what we can get. - Eight damage to the door. So this is a big stone thick, thick, you know? - It's gonna take a while. Yeah, go ahead. Describe that a little. Say it slower. - Double Cs. - Thick. - Ew, nevermind, no double Cs. - Mindy would be unaffected by now. - Yeah, no. - I'm gonna drink more now. - Oh, I drove you to it? Cool. Kriv, you are up. You still have a zombie next to you. - I do, so I'm just gonna swing at that zombie with my bike. - Can I ask the ones, the fire strikes that missed or was like a, "Fwah, fwah, fwah," just like two go wide?

- Yeah, I would say like, he's like, "Oh shit, I gotta do, I gotta show Clover up." Like, I gotta do bam, bam, bam, and there's just like completely misses on me. - It happens to everybody, Zozo, that's okay. - Not to me. - This is baby shit. - Whoa. - Wow, it's ones or 19s tonight. - All right. - That's a total of 23. - All right. - Kill this fucking zombie. - Do a roll. - I think that is enough to kill the zombie, but just. - Just barely. - Holy shit. - So after that, he's gonna step up one and say, all right, one down, good job, everyone. And then he's gonna like just turn, just kind of brace for the next one.

- Ooh, that's good. Okay, well, the next one's gonna come in. Okay, zombie's gonna come in and do a little slam. (mumbles) - We had it though. - Whoa, 21. - Yeah, that hits. - Normal damage, max damage of seven. - All right, all right, ouch. - No one's biting yet. - Okay. - Oh, we had to do that. - They're zombies, that's the thing they do. - Yeah, oh yeah. - So other zombie's gonna come up here next to Zozo and we're gonna get slammed. They're gonna slam, but every once in a while, there's gonna be a bite. So, ha ha, whoa, that was almost a crit, but 17. - He will hit.

- Okay, and four damage to Zozo. - Now I'm gonna use my reaction. - Okay. - I'm gonna use my sentinel feat, since he's within five feet of me and attack someone else. I'm gonna go ahead and do a melee attack. - That's true. - Yeah. - Use that to steal. - I feel like you're using your dexterity against them, which is, it's pretty unfair, but like, it's okay. Oh, 15 will definitely hit. - Okay, all right, higher than four. - Whoa. - All right, there's a 10. - That's 10, baby. Oh, that's gonna take a big chunk out of him too. Like, I imagine like shoulder separates from like, it's just kind of hanging off.

- So he goes to swing and just like, just starts to hit, just starts to scrape, and then he just lunges over, right towards his shoulder. - Yeah, okay. Last zombie is going to close in on Clover. - Eeee. - And this is the last one that's gonna get a guaranteed slam before I start rolling to see if they bite. 'Cause I got them, they're really ready to go. Slam! Oof, nevermind, that's a seven. Not gonna touch Clover, not in a million years. That's the end of round one. - Re-rolling for everyone, all right. It's been so long since combat, you forgot. - Oh, I did, I did.

Fuck. - Who earns? - Olmo, you are up. - I mean, he's still got this huge wall in a way, and he is not, he is, as Clover once mentioned, he's a big, tough guy, but he's still got a bit of a belly. He's not gonna fit in that crack, so he's gotta try and get that door again. - Sure, we've all been there. - Too much. - Lucky did. - Perfect. - Oh, eight's not gonna do it. - Well, and for a bonus action, he can't see anyone, so he can't help, so he just feels bad. - You could stick your head in. - Would my head fit in? He tries to see. - Push it, like if you push it in.

- I'm gonna go ahead and just shove my head in the door that's trying really hard to close. - Oh, that's scary. - I saw Kroll too many times as a kid with the scene where the wall closed in and smushed the Cyclops, yeah, no. - Oh, man, what was that final destination where like- - Everything happened here. - Like the woman's trapped in an elevator and she tries to like get out of the elevator and like it's caught between, I can't remember if that was Final Destination or something else, I don't know, it was some horror movie. - The Keanu Reeves one, isn't that where they were trying to save her?

- Speed? - Or like, is it like Drag Me to Hell maybe? - Maybe. - I'm not sure. - Is it Devil? - Drag Me to Find the Station. - Maybe Devil. - There was one called something like Devil where the whole movie was there. - That was just, yeah, but the elevator wasn't the killer, it was Devil. - Oh, yeah. - And Toast, Toast was a big, that was a big plot point and it's just wonderful, wonderful movie. - We left Roger outside, right? - Yeah. - Yep. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - Roger. - So yeah, stick your head in, stick your head in there. - I can't. - Okay. - Okay, I'm gonna look to see, I'm gonna look at my hammer, if my hammer isn't showing fracturing, if it's not showing signs of fracturing, it's not breaking yet.

- Then I think what we should do is roll for the sturdiness of your hammer. - Okay, what am I rolling? - Now this isn't like your main weapon, right? - Yeah. - He has lots of hammers. - Okay. - He likes his hammers. - He's smithy. - I'm not. - What? (laughs) - Just trailed off, I'm not. (laughs) - There was a little bit of like that soul just leaving your body at the end of that. - It sounded like you were in the middle of your Alpichine, open, I'm not. And then you just left your body like nothing happened. - That's a discomer. - Okay. - I was channeling like anime where they have a hammer and you go, "Ah, yes, giggle hammer." Just like that.

- Oh. - Oh. - Hammer. - Oh. - I get it, I get it, I'm with you. - I get it now. - I'm with you, give me a one D 10. Hard to remember the sturdy of the hammer. It's a five, it's a five hammer. - Does that help? - So it looks as though it's like, oh, this thing doesn't have much longer. Like it's got maybe a little bit, but not much longer. - Okay, so he shoves his head in really quick, finds his cousin and says, "You've got this." And he gives you a, and he gives you a bardic inspiration and then he pulls his head back out before it can close on his face. - Thanks cousin, I love you.

- Shoves his head back in, "Love you too." Pulls his head back out. (laughing) Okay. One D six. So on a one through three, they're gonna try and bite four through six, it's a slam. It's a slam. - And welcome to the jam. - This against Kriv. Ho, ha, ho, ho, ho, ho. - That's a seven, that's nothing, that's nothing. Oh God, next zombie, let's see. Whoa, that's two, this is gonna be a bite. So cool thing is, it is less of a chance to hit. So this is just a plus one, okay? So D 20 plus one, here we go. (dramatic music) - Oh, 18. - I do have a question though. With my sentinel feet, with the way that it's worded and I need your clarity with this, is essentially does it happen before damage or is it after?

Right? - Hit me with the wording. - So when a creature within five feet of you makes an attack against a target other than you, you can use your reaction to make a melee weapon attack against the attacking creature. - Oh, that's first. - Okay, all right. - Yeah, I think most people would go, yeah, that would be first 'cause you're reacting to them reacting. So it's, yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, go for it. - So I just want to confirm. - Just go ahead. - So as long as I'm being bitten? - Yes. - Okay. - You're being bitten. - I don't know, I could have changed targets. - 19 will hit.

- All right. - If I may though, if I may be that guy, you haven't had your turn yet, so your reaction's not back. - Really? - But we're on a new order. - That's a new round. That's a new round, I'll count it as a new round. I'm not, you know. - I just want to get bit. - Okay. - Like that will kill the zombie just before it gets a chance to bite him. Oh my God. - I like to picture this as like his mouth is agape, he lunges forward and right before he gets contact, it's just a straight stab with my pike. - Right square into his chest. - So it gets mirrored with like, I guess dried blood, the zombies.

I don't think they have like-- - It's a job, I don't know. It's like you kind of got a black goo sometimes. - Flesh that comes off. - Yeah, these aren't the juicy type of zombies. These are more of the mummy type of zombies. So Clover, you're up, there's one more. There's two, two, sorry, two. - Clover is alarmed that one is in her face 'cause she's not used to like gross things trying to like smack at her. So she's like, and she's going to use an extra forever point to do a little bit extra damage. Let us hope I do not miss. - You do have heart of inspiration and extra 1D6 that you can use as a-- - Attack.

- If you need to. - Attack. Where's my attack? (laughing) No really, where's the attack? - So sometimes you have to like click on it so it uncollapses and then click on it again for it to expand. - Yeah, you just click on the icon and it'll be there. - Want it to collapse. - Come on, buddy. - She's not hurting you, it's fine. - No, there you go, that one, that one. - Okay, that one? - I don't know what's happening. - All right. 16 will hit. - Okay. - All right. - Ooh, and so because I'm using one forever point, I do an extra whatever damage it is. I don't know, oh, but.

- Who can read? - D8, so I do another D8. That's an eight, right? That is an eight. - That is an eight. That is an eight. Yeah. - That doubled. - 15, 30 damage will destroy this zombie. Just boom, he will evaporate in front of you. - Literally sparkles everywhere. - Yeah, just glitter. - And it's, yeah, you guys are gonna come out looking like fucking strippers, just head to toe. - My worst nightmare. - But not like the good strippers, you're like the Wednesday afternoon shift strippers. Like, you know. - It's okay. - They're still pretty. - Nothing wrong with that.

- They have boobies. - They don't need to work. - We are changing our name from Pac-Man to Wednesday afternoon strippers. - Nice. (laughing) - Criv, you are up. There's a zombie next to you and it's the last one. - All right, so Criv's not gonna do anything special. Just kind of going from that thrust forward, he's just gonna slash straight across. And yeah, so hit the bike, go for the attack. Go for normal. (gasps) - Oh, 11. - 11 will hit the zombie. They are not dexterous, so. - All right. - Oh shit, 11. 11 damage. - All right. - That's good. - It's a good slash right across the gut.

- Anything else? - And my turn. - So you are up, you wanna, this could be it. You could wrap everything up right now. Unless you roll like you did last round. - Yeah, I mean, there's a chance. He sorts of glares at Clover and Criv and just like, this one's mine. And he's gonna run. Well, Brian's gonna hop over next to that zombie and he's gonna slash the zombie with the rapier. Nora with the plus two, weehee. - Ah. - Oh, come on. - Oh, okay. - Okay, you rolled a three, but that's still gonna hit the zombie with a 13. - Yeah. - A lot of bonuses there. - Jeez. - Okay.

- Woo. - Let's do that damage. And then I'm gonna add such a six sneak attack. - Ooh, I get such a strong Vegeta vibe from. - Oh, that's the goal. - The harder he tries, the more things just don't quite work out, but like. - Features sneak attack, extra D six. - You have killed the zombie. So the second you kill this thing, everything is going to kind of like die down. It's no longer glowing bright red. And on the other side of this door, that cube, the die is going to pop out of the door and just kind of like roll up to almost feet. And it's going to be pulsing.

And the door is going to slide open. And that gooey, the kind of shimmery force field is going to disappear. So you guys can see each other. There is no more danger. - And just right after the finishing blows, those were kind of like sticks his blade in the zombie and the black fire on the blade kind of like burns the body. And that's like smokes emanating from the body kind of like goes up the sword up into the arm of Zozo kind of like gets sucked in a little bit. I'm going to gain six temp hit points. - Cannot hurt. - Cannot hurt. - Clover is going to see Elmo and be like, cousin, something tried to attack me and she's covered in glitter and is just going to glomp onto him like, oh, I was scared.

- You guys are covered in so much sparkles. - I don't want to talk about it. - Isn't it pretty though? - What? You fought sparkle monsters? - We fought zombies, you. - What? - Clover. - And he's going to point at you. He's going to stomp over at a Clover. - Yeah. - Why didn't you lead with any of this? - What? - You exploded those zombies with your fists. You're the most powerful here. And you didn't even mention it. - That's my cousin. - I don't, I mean, sometimes I make sparkles when I think about happy things that I'm scared because the best, mama said the best way to deal with scary things is to think about things that make you happy.

So I think about cousin and his hugs and I think about Crib not yelling at me. And I think about my friends not hitting me. And then I'm happy. - Are you mocking me? You're my rival now. I'll never let you become stronger than me. - Crib's gonna kind of walk over. He's gonna from like behind Zozo. He's gonna put his hand on his shoulder and be like, all right, just take a breather. We're alive. - Did you know this whole time? This whole time. - I did not know. And then he's gonna look over. He's gonna look over your way and go, but good job. As much as I don't like being covered in glitter, you did a good job.

- She's gonna side over and be like pushing her head like, pats, pats, pats. - He'll do that same exact reaction that I just did where he's kind of like, thinks about it. Okay. And then he'll reach over and then give you a couple of good pats. And then kind of like start to walk like past Zozo, past you. And then as he starts to go past you, he's gonna pull you in for a little bit of like a side hug and then continue to move on. He's leaving this room. - He likes me now, cousin. He likes me. - Well, you know what? Anybody that likes you has finally got the right way figured out.

- So, so like walks by Elmo, by leaving the room and he'll stop for a second, makes himself tall. Look at Elmo. Now with your new tattoo arm, you better not pull something like Clover. If you're all- - What? I can't, oh, I don't make glitter. - Aww. - He smashes. You better show us what you can do with that new arm. - What? - I mean, if I remember correctly, I can play, I can play. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I'm pretty good with my loot. Tickle, tickle, ding. - Now that's baby shit. - Keep saying that, cousin. - I wanna see what you're capable of. - What babies do you know of that know all the cords?

- I like baby poop. - It's just the one baby. - That one baby, it only takes one. - Yeah, the one. - All right. - What's- - I've seen School of Rocks many times. - And he's gonna like look down at this dice that's now like pulsating. Does that mean that we're done? Does that mean that we got it wrong? So watch his nose. - What means the column- - We just started. - The column was glowing back there too. Maybe it goes to the column. - Let's see if we can do that. If that works, then that means that we got that wrong, but survived the challenge. - Now I think we did it right.

And then we did right to a second time. - Yeah, it didn't start glowing until everything, after you guys were sucked in there. - Zosos was like stretching and he's going over in the next door. He was like, "Whenever you're ready." - Well, let's check this column first. - So if you walk over to this column with that die, that pulsing is going to intensify and that eventually it is going to pull that cube out of your hand and it is going to just merge with this column and it is going to illuminate, glow bright red. And toward the center of the floor, you're gonna see kind of these like red, kind of almost like bolts of lightning etched into the floor and there's a big square in between all of these columns and you're gonna see it start to illuminate.

That red is like under the floor almost. And there, you're gonna notice as you're standing there, there is this dragon shaped silhouette underneath of you. And it is massive. Like you guys are standing there, it's like you keep, like your eyes keep trying to pan back and adjust, it's like, holy shit, like it is huge. There's space on the floor for a bunch more of these, like these energy tendril type things, but the rest of the columns aren't lit up yet. - Okay. So I think we're on the right track, but again, was three the correct answer or the wrong answer?

- I like red. - I think it worked. - Yeah. - Okay, well, let's see if this is also a six sided dice. - Okay. Well, it wouldn't be the next one. The next one would be eight. - Eight. - It is eight. - It's an eight sided die? - It's an eight sided die. - Okay. So do we stick with halfing it? - Worked less time. - Or do we chance it to go to eight? Would something worse happen? Would it just pulsate and hop out to us without a battle? Trying to judge, I'm trying to throw out options and judge Jason's face. I'm not seeing anything other than laughter. - Oh, sweetie. It's been years.

- I'm mad as a fortress. - Yes, but this has been swelling for months. Finally getting to this point. You've had it ready to go. - Honestly, I didn't think we'd even get close to this tonight. I figured, you know, like I figured, and then fucking Heywood comes in here with the big brain. - Like, well shit. - My takeaways that we like charged the first die. Like we got it right. And then we charged it, put in the column, it worked. My guess is if we say eight, the obvious answer for, you know, simpletons, then it's not gonna be charged. Even if we kill whatever's in there or solve another riddle.

- Okay. - That's my educated guess. - Go ahead and put four in. - Okay, boss. - And be ready to, he's like ready to go. Put four in and let's all get ready to jump in, but let's all jump in together. - Yeah. - All right. - Can we hold hands? - I'll hold your hand. - And then grabby hands at group. - Okay. - Four. - He reaches out his hand and. - So as you, you slide this in, right? The same thing is going to happen where this whole etching lights up blue and like it's going to sink back, become a door, slide over and that suction's going to happen. Same exact thing.

Like, you know, you know, you're about to get sucked. Like it's gonna happen. So just seeing if you're paying attention. - All of them did suck up. - Not drunk enough yet. - Yeah. - I'm drunko. - Drunko. - Grumble. - That's a new state. - Yeah, you guys know when you get all drunko, like. - I want more, but it's all gone. - Already? - Yeah. - Yeah, I was delicious. - I was delicious? Did you just say I was delicious? - It was delicious. - Okay, all right. So, so are you guys resisting the suck? - Oh no, I'm embracing the suck. - We're yeah, we're embracing it with the hopes that we can land on our feet.

- Okay, and I think, I think that if you're, if you're, I think if you're ready for it and you just go in willingly, I don't think this is gonna knock you out, right? I don't, or knock you to the ground or, or anything like that. Now I need one of you to give me a die roll. - Me? - Okay, yeah, yeah, Mandy. - Oh, to do it. - Go for it, Mandy. - What am I rolling? - Well, I need a D8. - Oh, that makes sense. - I see. - Five. - Okay. (sighs) - Oh no. - So there's a trick to this and I'm, I'm interested to see what you guys figure out in the time that this takes, but we'll see.

I don't know. Oh yes, oh yes. - I thought you just, 'cause sometimes I like just to watch you 'cause you go like this and I thought you were just like, can I have permission to go like this? - Yes. - I was gonna say. - I will allow you. - Did we just record a GMT here? Is that what happened? - Yeah. (laughs) Okay, here we go. So we're going to, we're gonna give you the length of this hallway here, just to kind of give you space. But, as soon as you're sucked into this room, you realize it's a bit bigger than the other ones, right? Like the other one. It's giving you a little room to maneuver.

The room's longer than it is wide. It's kind of its own little corridor. And materializing in front of you are five skeleton minotaurs. - Ooh. - Ooh. - Big boys. - As previously seen in group Forsaken. - Yeah, they're always fun. I like 'em. - These things are fucking nasty and get ready. - Uh oh. Oh, they have lots of things. That's a lot of HP, Jason. - Yes, it is. - Two more. Give me two more. - I can give you two more. Here's the thing. - Oh, they're big boys. - You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna reduce it to three. - Okay. - I think three is good enough. - I think three is pretty good.

Like. - It's not enough room for five. - It really isn't. I feel like they'd get cramped. And like, so three skeleton minotaurs are going to appear right in front of you. And guys. - No. - Oh, what are you doing? - No, that's not. - What do you do? - You know what I need. - Okay. - Oh, I thought you were saying that's the time to wrap up. That's why I was like, no. - No, no, no, no, no. I did, I did, I did, I did. I did, I did. - Wait, are they in back of us too? - Yes. They materialized. Everybody give me initiative. - Murdered it. - Woo, they rolled shitty. - Good. Huzzah.

- Huzzah indeed. - Zozo, you are up. Kicking us off. - All right. The three appear. Anything else of note in this room when the three of them show up? - Glows blue. - Glows blue. All right, here's what we're gonna do. - Fire blast, Uzi. - That'd be nice. - Just don't, no fireball. Just no fireball. - Fireball. - He's not quite there. - Zozo's gonna see three skeletal minotaurs show up and he'll go, uh-oh. And he's going to, yeah, he's gonna pull out a dagger and sort of like wave it in the air and shadows are gonna come out of it and he's casting darkness. - Oh, we've seen this before.

- He's like, okay, okay, you three, follow my lead or my voice. But it is magical darkness, unless these skeletal minotaurs can see magical darkness. People relying on dark vision can't see through that shit. And he's gonna move. - None of your friends can either. - Yeah, you can't. - Okay. - But I can, and it's a 15 foot radius, so like three squares on each direction around me. - Okay. - Yeah. - Well, all right. Kriv, you're up and you're blind. You've been here before. - I have, I have. - Before there's any real chance for the other minotaur to move that's directly in front of him.

He's gonna swing with it with his body. - That makes sense. - Now, as he does it, he's going to just kind of like wave his hand over the blade and then kind of raise it up and then try to just make a big swing down. - Okay. - For a divine smite modifier to it. 15. - 15 will hit. - Yes. - Okay, all right. So the way that this works, we can get damage, roll normal damage. - Yes. - Whoa, max damage. - And with divine smite, I'm just doing it at the first level. So that's 2D8 radiant damage. 2D8, which is an extra seven. And then, oh, sorry, since this is undead, I get an additional 1D8.

- Another five damage. - Total of 24. - Not bad at all. - They've laid a horn on you. - It's not like radiant damage by chance. - Doesn't really feel one way or the other about it. - Okay. - Anything else? - That is everything. - Clover, you are up. - Okay, so the darkness is this whole area? - Yes. - Okay, so Clover is just like, suddenly lights out and just like, "Oh, what's going on? I'm feeling kind of sleepy. Oh, is it nighttime? Oh wait, no. Oh, bad things." And she's gonna kind of stumble around and she's gonna go over here. - Oh, that takes you right out of it. 15 feet, you said.

- They see you now. You're out of the darkness. If that was your goal, it might've been your goal. - She's gonna go over here and be like, "Holy shit." Or not, she's actually not gonna say it like, "Oh God." And she's gonna look down that way and in panic, she's gonna, (sneezes) and she's gonna sneeze and do her breath weapon. - Wow. (all laughing) - Usability, okay. So they have to do a saving throw, DC 13 constitution. - Ooh, well, okay. All right. - One, first one. 15. - That made it. - Yeah, second one. - Ooh. - Oh shit, the opposite, three. - Okay. - And the crit one.

- They do this damage, wait, this is correct. Yeah, 2D6, 4L5, yep, okay. So normal, the person who made it takes half. - Oh, those dice. - But I'm also doubled, so it's fun times. So it's just like, "Oh God." And then she's gonna go back, 'cause then they're down there. - Okay. - Okay, minotaur skeleton. What did you do? - Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. - I don't know what you're doing. - I got you, I got you. - You know what? - I'm gonna make a fire bomb. - I'm gonna come running in here with minotaur and let's, hold on a second. It's with disadvantage, so. Attack, disadvantage, and 12 to Elmo?

Probably not. - It does not. - No, that makes sense, you're big. Elmo. - Good armor. Well, somebody is snarling and trying to hit him from the front. - It's true. - And honestly, the swinging in the dark sounds like a fun game and I am here for it. So he will try to hit this guy back. With disadvantage. He will, he will poorly swing right back. - Your poor swing was much better, so 17 will hit. - Let's see how this goes. - Oof, 11, oh, is that bludgeoning? - It is. - He takes double bludgeoning damage. - That's 22 damage. - Yeah, hammers hurt this skeleton. - Uh.

- Elmo, keep this up, it's working. - Oh, how can you tell? I can't see a thing. - I can see perfectly. - Oh, that's really cool. - Oh yeah, your hammer's cracking the bones. Keep cracking the bones. - Gross. - That's the riddle. - So that's the riddle, we've solved the riddle. We solved another one. - You did it again. (laughing) - We've solved the bone riddle. - God, this skeleton's gonna step on up and just try to great ax Kriv, and of course that's going to be with disadvantage. Ha ha, 20. - Well, shit, yeah. - Okay, well. - Eight. - Okay. - Just eight. - Take eight?

- No big deal. - I'm glad I healed. - Minotaur Skelly, okay, you know what? We're gonna do another charge. Let's see if we can gore Clover, obviously. This is with disadvantage. So like, you know, probably won't hit. Oof, God, no. - Oh yeah. - Clover two, that's not gonna happen. That brings us to a new round. God, we got a Minotaur starting us out here. Great ax with disadvantage. I hate the darkness. - How am I always last in the second round? - Oh no. - We're gonna drop a 19 to take a seven. That's 13 against all move. - No dice. - Good armor, good armor. - Yeah, no, okay.

Kriv, you're up. All right, so he's gonna try the same thing. Yeah, yeah, that's about all that he can do. So he's just gonna give a big old swing. He's gonna swipe his hand across the blade again and then just try to do like a horizontal slash. - Turns out with everyone being blind, it slows things down quite a bit. - Yeah. - We'll drop an eight to take a seven. 11 will not hit. - Yeah. And there's my turn. - All right, Almo, you're up. - If we do those quick, like I won't slow down too much. - We need to be level five so I can get two swings. - Eventually I might just go like, oh, you know what?

- Yeah. 12 will hit, 12 will just hit. - I was one away. - Did you add your plus twos for fighting next to someone? - No, I forgot. - I didn't add plus twos. I didn't add plus twos 'cause we're blind. - Oh yeah, that makes sense. - Fair enough. - Yeah. - So that's 11, another 22 damage to him. - Yeah, you're crushing this thing's ribs, like just powdered. - Very nice. - Oh my God, yeah. - That balances out the speed of things, I think. - Yeah. - Clover. - You're up. - Can I walk through hostile enemies? - I mean, you can, you can, they're gonna hit you, but yes. - You can walk around.

- Yeah, you can walk around, yeah, you know. - They can't see you, so they won't take an attack of opportunity. - Yeah, they can, but. - Unless Jason wants to, I mean, you have ultimate power. - Nah, I feel like that's, nah. - I don't want the cone template, go away. I wanted a ruler. I wanted a ruler. Okay, you know what? I don't get a ruler. - You just count the squares, it's a very small room. It's just like it's, each square is five feet. - Okay, so. - That's 15. - Oh God, oops. Yeah, so I'm going to move here and then here. That should be fine, right? - Sure.

- And that should put me out of the darkness. See, Clover wouldn't be smart. But Mandy is like, if I miss, this is bad, so. - Technically, that Minotaur's butt is like. - It depends, if he goes, huh? Like he's out of darkness too. It's just, it's kind of. - He's doing the hokey pokey right now. - Yeah. - So, Clover will stumble her way like around and she'll be like, I don't know what, I can't see anything and suddenly light and just like, oh, hi, and going to reflexively smack at it. I'm going to use another forever point. - Okay. - Why not? - Sure. Do you slap or do you punch?

- Huh? Do I slap? - Do you slap or do you punch? - Usually punches at this point because she's startled by the giant like, beeping skeleton minotaurs. (laughs) Like that. - Like a flail slap. - Sure, yeah. - How can she slap? - Glitter around because yeah. - Oh my God. - Imagine. - Imagine. - 19, that's 25 total that'll hit. - And she's also because one forever point does an extra of this. There we go. So 11, double 22. - Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. - One, two, three. - Can I slide back in the dirt? (laughs) - Yeah. - You need to get back. - You've got the movement. - Yeah, sure. - Yep.

- Okay. Okay. Minotaur is going to take its turn. Great axe, disadvantage. Oh my God. - Oh no. - Oh. - Ah. Okay. We are going to roll on the crit table. The crit fumble table, of course. - Beautiful, beautiful. - And eight is counter attack. The target automatically hits you with a basic attack. So just roll damage, Mandy. - Me? - Yeah, you're the target. - Does this count for double damage? - Yeah. - Any damage she does is double damage. Just for this session. - Perfect person. - Thanks for getting that question wrong, Mandy. - Oh, it says it must hold attack. I'm going to do the attack because it's- - Sure, sure, sure.

Sure, you're good. - I'm happy. - All right, that's 12 more damage. That will kill the Minotaur. - It rocks into more sparkles. - Yeah. - Oh, you killed it. - That'll bring up our other Minotaur friend up top here. Oh God. Disadvantage. - Wow, wow, wow, wow. - Thank goodness for disadvantage. - I'm kind of glad, but kind of not at the same time. - 19 and 20. - Yeah. - It's a hit. - Yeah. - Woo wee. - 12 damage to Kriv. - Woo, that'll eat up some health bar. Zozo, you're up. - You hear Kriv wail in pain and then see him kind of, almost like his knees quiver. He doesn't quite drop down, but he almost does.

- All right, so just like, okay, get behind me, Kriv. And he's gonna arch. I guess he's got, ooh, he's got weapons in both hands now. I guess I don't have a free hand to cast. Unless it doesn't have verbal. I mean, verbal somatic, it's got somatic, so I couldn't do it. Okay, I'm gonna slash with my sword then. - Ooh, 25 will hit. - All right. - Okay, that is six damage so far. - And a one. - Oh, good, okay. - Seven damage. - That'll bring, holy shit. That is round three. We're gonna start off with another Minotaur. We're gonna try this great ax again, and I'm gonna speed through and miss.

And then other things. - You might do okay. - 19. - You did it, look at you, I'm so proud. - Yay. - Now, don't apply that damage. Don't apply that damage. - Reassurance, I'm out of spells for the rest of the dungeon. - So bad. - So what happens is Omo has a magic tattoo now. - Sure. - It's a bottomless joy brand. And bottomless, the word less flares up, and the damage that would be hitting Omo can hit another creature 30 feet away, it hits the other Minotaur up to 30 feet away. It hits the other Minotaur instead. - But I did so much damage. - You did. - I know.

- He should be proud. - Well, I'm less proud now. - No fair. - That will kill the other Minotaur, so that's it. That's, Clover, you're up. - Well, you can finish this. - Still kind of, oopsie, kind of stumbling around. Like, things are going on, I don't know what's going on. I'm going to, and it goes back into the, oh God, there's another one. And I'm gonna, no, actually I'm gonna stay back there. I'm gonna stay like, he's gonna peek out, but barely sees its butt, its bare butt like hanging out of the darkness. It's like, I'm gonna do a force blast towards it.

- Just in case your role isn't good, please remember you do still have Arctic inspiration. - I do, that's nice. - It's true, this fight isn't over until Clover stops fighting. - Jesus God, 24 hits. - And that might, oh, very little, sadly. - Well, it's a 10 and that will kill the Minotaur and take you out of combat. And guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night, being halfway done this little puzzle. The other half is going to get much more difficult. - I have no doubt. - But my double damage, can I drink it? - I came in handy. - It was awesome.

- How close are we to level five? - I'm level five. - Actually, some of us are, yeah. - Let me do some math actually. Maybe, actually maybe. - That's fair, that's fair. - God, I'm glad I didn't put the other fucking two minutes or any worse to be here all night. - God, darkness is so slow. - It is. - It is the weighted blanket of combat. - It's not a wall, it's not a wall. - I think it helped more than it hurt. - I'll mostly use it in role playing. - Oh yeah, no, no, no, no. It's definitely, I get it, it definitely helped. It's just, oh my God, especially in small little.

- Perfect usage of it. - It was awesome. - I'm like, I can't fight in here, I will hurt. - This is the first official fight we've all been a part of. - I think we're a pretty good team, y'all. - Congratulations. - I'm finally got to attack things. Look at me, I'm an endurance guys. - Yay. - Hooray. - Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. We really appreciate you guys. Don't forget to stop on by our Patreon at patreon.com/dandr. Even if you're not a subscriber, you can get community updates, you can get all kinds of stuff that we're working on, and it's just a way to kind of keep your finger on the pulse of what we're doing.

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