The Greatest of All Time

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Howdy everybody out there. As you know, Dragon Con is right around the corner. Now we'll be driving all the way from Hancock, New York to Atlanta, Georgia. And honestly, we could use your help a little bit. Gas money's a thing and boy, is it going to cost a lot. So if you'd like to support the show, if you'd like to help us out, we really appreciate it. If you'd go to patreon.com/dandr there, you can support the show monthly if you'd like, or you could just give us a single donation, kind of a go get yourself a coffee type of thing. It helps us out more than you know, and it lets us do this each and every week.

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They protect your cats and dogs like family by offering up to $1,000 in optional coverage for vet bills in case of an RV accident, making it a great companion for the responsible pet owner who loves to travel. See progressive's other benefits and more when you quote RV insurance at progressive.com today progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates pet injuries and additional coverage and subject to policy terms. This summer during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else.

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Add your team to your Uber account today. See app for details. Bye mom. Oh, let's do that. Bang. Where we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the dungeon master going around the table. Starting with Xavier. Hello, I'm Xavier and I play Zozo the Dragonborn warlock. I said thing and I regret it instantly. It feels wrong. I don't like it. I don't do it one way 500 times and then just do it a different way. Do we want to start over? Just complete rewind the tape thing. There we go. Okay. Sorry. Give me the, he would do okay. Hi guys. I'm Mandy and I play Clover, the red Dragonborn endurance.

Ooh, that's hot. Never in your class right off the bat. That's right. And Mr. Haywood. Hello. My name is Mr. Haywood also known as Ryan and I will be playing your good friend. Oh, Mo the, uh, the lots of stuff and Ryan prime. Yeah. Hey everyone. My name is Ryan. I play Crib the Dragonborn Paladin and so far did a little test roll and I rolled a one. Is that good news? Is that bad news? No one knows. We'll find out. You've you rolled a one and a four baby. So that's, but that was pre round. Okay. So I don't know. I'm just, I'm grasping at something here. I'm trying to keep the hope alive.

You got all of it out of your system and I think you do. That's that's what I think. I say that every time. I know I'll be right. I tried a thousand times and it worked out once. One day the curse will be broken. So, okay. You got done the two easy puzzles. I'm very proud of you guys. And we left off in this, this big ceremonial chamber and there are four, four pillars surrounding what appears to be a large dark dragon silhouette underneath kind of a clear floor, almost like a, like, you know, poxy was poured or something like that. One of those cool like river tables people make.

And it's almost, it's almost like that. But now there's, there's kind of this, this colored like spider webbing underneath and it's, it's slowly illuminating. Two of the four puzzles have now lit up and now there's only two puzzles left. Pillars not puzzles. But the problem is you guys are pretty haggard. Yeah, we got. Yeah. You got drop kicked pretty hard and you leveled up, which is great, but that's a bandaid because geez, anyone wondering out there in Theria, you don't get all your spell slots back when you level up and all your health because it's unrealistic.

It's it's gotta be realistic in this fantasy world with dragons. I'm sorry. Certain things, certain things make sense to my stupid brain and you can send your emails to dandrpodcast@gmail.com. And tell me what a fraud I am. To be fair, most of us are full health, so it's not really an issue. Yeah. Just rub it in. Rub it in while you're trying to just groove. Yeah, it's just great. So speaking of which, what, so two of these are done and I imagine after that second room, it's kind of like, at least one of you like. Yeah. I mean, ironically, yeah, the squishiest members of your party are fine.

Well, I guess that's my purpose, right? Well, yes, but you need a mental health day, too. I do. So I mean, once we get done with that, I think the first thing Crib will do is he'll use his bike to like firmly push into the ground, put both arms on it and just kind of use it to stand fully upright. You may hear a few cracks. And then he'll kind of like gaze at all three. I'm going to need a minute. OK. Do you also need a hug? I need to sit and you can give me a hug after I sit. OK. She's waiting. He'll go sit down. He'll use like one of the columns and his pike to just kind of like hit and slowly slide down controlled with one of those like the last two inches.

He just kind of lets it fall and you get the little thud and a big exhale. And as soon as he's down, yeah, crawls into his lap. He'll give the hug and stay there. And a small of for the for the very perception, high perception people, you may see a little bit of a of a curl at the end of his lips. So what you're saying is we don't notice that. Is that what you're saying? None of us notice. I mean, the listeners notice. So it's good. But beyond that, right. So as as Ryan speaking here, the puzzle that we're dealing with, trying to recap everything here. We have four four pillars.

The first one is a D6 red pillar. Then we have a D8 blue pillar. Then we have a D10 green pillar and a D12 orange pillar for the red pillar. If we're getting this correct, we put the three sided die or the yeah, the three side up into the die slot. And then we got sucked in. We had to fight. We came out or the blue one, the D8 we put in a four sided. We got sucked in, went through a fight there. I don't know if we did that right or wrong. Well, then we put the lit up objects in the columns that in turn lit up as if they were charged. In Zozo's opinion, we did it right because we fought the thing and won and then it glows.

We did it. Yeah. Zozo's convinced. So Crib will bring that up. Do you think we did that right? OK, so. It's a bad riddle if we did it right, right, because when we came in, that's rude. When we came in, they gave us a riddle. And when we got it wrong, it was like, I'm going to hurt you. And then we got it right. We didn't get hurt at all. And there was like we got through it. OK. And so it told us the rules. If we get it right, we don't get hurt. That that's that's what I'm thinking is that if we we persevered through the challenge. Yeah, because we failed, we had a subsequent challenge.

We passed that. So there was a charge. Yeah. I don't think so. I think they don't want anyone to wake up this sleeping dragon god. Only the worthy ones will. And if we beat whatever is next, we're the worthy ones. And by the way, when we got the riddles right, we moved forward. And now we killed those things. Columns are lighting up. I think we're moving forward. Oh, maybe they're really good riddles. Maybe take a really flawed being to go to all this trouble and make a shitty riddle. Right. Like send your emails to D.A. It's not our fault if if if almost just too good at it.

No, no, no, no. So Krivel Krivel suggests and I know we we mentioned this beforehand, right? But Krivel suggests that we we take a little bit. Right. I'm I'm going to need a little bit of time. Right. If we want to kind of look around, make sure we're not missing any clues. Let's give it an hour. Yeah. Let's come back. Is that OK with everyone? I could use the rest, too. Like he's kind of like looking at the fading flames at his fingertips and like I could recharge a little bit. OK. Brings me to the last point. Does anyone have any type of heels? Yeah, actually.

No, actually. So-so doesn't have heels. Maybe not. I'm not the best in that area. Takes a big man to admit that. I'm not the best at it. But if you were to if you want to sit down and rest, I'll I'll play some music for a little while and that should help you out a little bit. And if that doesn't do enough, I can do a little bit more. But I figured out it requires me not rolling any hit dice. You know. Well, it does. It does. But fortunately. But fortunately, you can do that once now. Is that reset? Roll the dice. Roll the dice. So I had zero hit dice from the big fall.

But you leveled up and gained one. What do I gain? Yeah. Oh, you got one baby. Yeah. You do get a hit die and now you get a little extra on top of that because of Song of Rest. Song of Rest. I can give you an extra Wendy six on top of whatever you roll here. Yeah, I can do something then. All right. So I will roll that short rest. Is it a new day? No, it is not a due day. It's a rest. It just said Cryptic Sunshine. I did it wrong. Oh, there it is. There's a roll button that I missed. Three did three, baby. Three. And I am going to just have this D six and we'll know to add that to your total.

All right. Five. Well, thank you. You did a damn good job. Yeah. The power of music is awesome. That's a that's a pretty good tune, Olmo. Oh, thank you. Good lo fi mandolin to fight to. Oh, well, I noticed it. It sounds a little cooler when I let the lamp rest against it on the side right here. Like it echoes or reverberates or something. So to set a scene here. Oh, Jesus. That's an eight total. No, no, no. That's good. You guys please roll your roll your your your hit die for your short rest. But to set a scene while you guys are chilling against these pillars, specifically crib, because it's just it's I have you ever watched someone fumble with a bandaid like it like a particularly sticky one.

So it gets stuck in there and they just throw it out and start over. That's what I imagine crib does. And in Song of Rest is like, here you go, baby. And just like, like, actually, because, yeah, Ryan's going to Ryan and like, we all got to keep an eye on them. That's all it's like. Oh, no, please go. Oh, anything I could do with an herbalism kit to be like Ben extra bandaid with the flower on it. Well, takes a feat for that. Yeah, you you most of the kits and stuff are almost useless unless you take a feat for it. And then, yeah, like it's it's definitely something we can explore.

You guys are still you know, you're still growing. So we could do all kinds of stuff and you like flowers. It's true. But right now, I think the best you could do is buy him weed. Like I think that's fair. I do have you do have weed. I do have three drug. You have three drug. Do we discuss which drug? But rude. Yeah, it was. Was it? Then we picked it up on the way. That's right. So if you need to pick me up. That's true. I may have some good ideas. You have a mystery potion. Yeah, still have that sparkle potion. Yeah. Or is it a bomb? I don't know. Maybe you should drink sparkle.

Oh, the sparkle potion. Like I remembered it. It's been so many months. Sparkle potion. My three drug from my inventory disappeared with my level up. Oh, police. We know we got. Hey, that's that's fine. You're just hiding them in your butt. That's that's what it says. But I do have we call it a bag of holding. I will be a prison bag of holding. In other words, I'm going to do a cure wounds. Yeah, I'll I'll hit you up with. Hold on. We need to wait for Jason to not be dead. You OK there, buddy? I'm sorry. It's a long day. It's not that funny. And I know it isn't logically, but it was hilarious.

You can admit it. It's fine. It's very good. I am going to throw a healing word on you while I'm at it. Save some for the fight, guys. I would love to. But we have a mostly. We do have a mostly a very close to being knocked out here. Jeez, even after all that healing. Well, did you add the did you add the extra dice I gave you? I did not add the the five. Yeah, OK. But that one was good. It was almost max healing. We go like that here. I'm going to I'm going to add that as healing. A foul. Pretty good. You're good to go. Beautiful. Back up there. I could throw a D for it.

Yeah, I'm good. Oh, you're full. You're full. Yeah. What about you, Zozo? You want an extra D for slapchat? Yeah. No, I'm topped off. Is it OK? Yeah. I don't know what that little blue thing is. Yeah, it's just a great thing because I'm at thirty three out of thirty three on my sheet. So the gray is my temp hit points. Maybe. Oh, I know what the blue is. I don't either. But it's fine. You're good. So Kriv will take one of those drug out. I'm just going to call it one of drug. One drug and take one of drug out. Oh, he's going to seriously consider it. He's going to put that to the side, stuff it back in his bag of holding.

Wink and then TM. Yeah. And then he's going to cast that cure wounds on him. Would you that will be the process that he does. So was Kriv particularly hiding that he was looking at the drug? No. OK. I mean, that's a collaboration for him of like, I don't want to I don't want to I want to die. Yeah. So give me OK. So is this blood route in solid form or has this been ground up and like it's that kind of a fine pink powder type of thing is like a mortal and pesto. I think we we've found it in raw form. So it's it hasn't been we haven't. So OK. Here, I know you did anything with it.

Yeah. Like, yeah. But he's just basically going to be holding it of like, should I go through that process or not? And then we need to get to Kriv's RV first. I mean, we're all just kind of sitting getting our air back. But if you're doing that, Omo would look at you and he'd kind of shake his head a little bit. But, you know, he's seen those parties and how they can go bad and how they can be awesome. So he's not like super going to tell you not to. But he's you don't look like a guy that's done a lot of this. And so you probably don't know your limit. Oh, he certainly has not.

You know, let's let's say it. Hey, man, that stuff makes for a great party, but you don't know your limit. Right. Do you even know how to take that stuff? I think it could figure it out, but you're right. I don't know. Yeah. But if it comes to that or dying. No. Yeah. Look, it wouldn't take a lot for you. But shave a little bit off the bottom, just a little bit of root off the bottom. Right. Dry it out. That'll probably be enough. But it will not take much. And oh, boy, I've seen I've seen a few bad trips. Usually that's that's got with. You know what? It's in case of emergency only, though, unless you really want a good party, which probably isn't down here.

Yeah, you're right. Because. If it gets to looking grim. Yeah. And I need a little pick me up. Yeah. I'll do everything I can to. Get you three out of here. Can I have some? No. Oh, oh. Just like as a matter of fact, as possible, just no. Oh. I mean, I wouldn't even look at Clover just still holds eye contact with Olmo and just know. We come into this dungeon like prepared to be a well-oiled fighting machine. We prove it for a second. All four of us leave massive drug addicts. You don't want no part of this shit. Well, I hope you're I hope we're all ready to do what it takes to see this through.

This place is bringing back a lot of unnecessary memories. I told you about that. You know, that that gang I was hanging out with when I came to Elara. Order of the scale, they called themselves. Well, where they tried to bring back an old black dragon to life and failed, stabbed me in the back and used me. I want to succeed and show these fools what I can do. Oh, oh, oh, the scaly order. Yeah, I've heard of them. Weird that they would stab you because like normally they're like pretty cool about scale guys. I guess they're just the worst, too. Well, it turns out not everybody present themselves as who they really are, which is why I don't trust you guys.

Well, I trust you now. I didn't trust any of you at first, but you proved yourselves. You're all pretty good. If it helps any, we I think we we've kind of probably picked up on that a little bit. Yeah. Can I so to set the scene right. I imagine you're chilling kind of in the center of the room because you said you're leaning against a pillar. Yeah. So the center of this room basically is this massive dais underneath it. It's almost like a plexiglass floor and kind of kind of muddled like a little cloudy. But you could definitely see that that that dragon shape underneath.

It's massive. And spider webbing underneath is both these red and blue tendrils. As soon as you lit up these these columns here. And I imagine you guys are sitting here and there's a gentle pulse from underneath. So as you're speaking, like you're you're being illuminated like a twitch streamer every once in a while, you're just, you know. Can I ask? Let's say each of you are leaning against a pillar. If that sounds accurate. I'm like, OK, and one in. Yeah. OK. Which, which one did Criv lean against? It would be one of the first ones, so the red of the blue.

So let's just say red. OK, I was just just kind of wondering. OK. So in the course of you guys sitting here, every once in a while, you'll hear something shift or something. Whenever you're in a dungeon situation like this, you kind of get used to the the the little little pebbles or something like that falling down something. Or, you know, you just kind of like I imagine your head's on a swivel for the first like 20 minutes you're down here and then it kind of blends into the background. Now, if you hear something, you know, out of the ordinary, boom, a pop, something like that, it's like, oh, what was that?

But it's pretty calm down here. You will eventually I'd say like almost an hour in here. You guys have have been sitting here and. Two things are going to happen. That green pillar is going to blink. And then the door associated with that is going to pulse like three times. And then you're going to hear kind of like like a scratching, like like a like kind of a kind of like like nails on a chalkboard almost. And then it's going to stop. Then the orange pillar is going to light up and the door associated with that is going to do the same thing. Well fuck.

Did we take too long? Are we going to have to start over? What's the what's happening that or maybe just got more difficult? Red and blue ones are still lit up, by the way. Nothing you know, nothing to indicate that you've taken a step back. Just yeah. Well, all right, so. So I want to look around for a minute and see if there is another clue that we missed for how we're supposed to do these doors. Yeah, but it is. Those are probably right. We probably just have to beat them up a lot real good. Well, if we've waited this long. Another two or three minutes won't hurt anything.

So go over, go ahead and hop up and let's. Let's search around for some clues real quick. Can't you carry me? You got legs. She'll get up pouting. It's like, OK. So my daughter does now. Yeah. You got legs. Come on. It's also what Mandy does now. What a waste of potential. All that power just right in the bin. She's like a chipmunk. She just goes all in and releases it at once. Hey, hey, Clover, do you want to write on my back? There's a lot of glitter there now for some reason. I don't know what happened, but. And she's just going to immediately running jump on your back.

Oh, good job. Yeah. How much more time do you have for those wishes? The amount of time. What was that? Ten days. Ten minutes. I have it. I do have it written down. Ten days for wishes. Three more wishes. That's what I've written down. That may not be true. We know. I have. OK. And Chris is going to kind of like bite his lip a little bit with this. Yeah. We could ask for some guidance just to make sure. Costco's going to make a complicated situation more complicated. Yeah. So if we do anything, we can only ask for advice. Yeah. And then we consider it. And then we vote on it.

I never get a vote. That's great. I will never get over you guys call him Costco. Just when he's insulted. And I know it's just like the more it happens, like motherfuckers, like, I don't know why I'm insulted on his behalf. He doesn't exist. I think every single time that happened, just the lamp pulses red real quick or trembles. Eight days seven. I mean, I mean, we can ask him. Sure. If you want to spend a wish on that, do it. Sure. But I think you three. Well, two of you think too much. Yeah, I don't think that much. So that's OK. I get that. I like that about you.

That's the one thing I like about you. Oh, OK. How much do you hear? He likes me. Yeah, no, it was that was as good of a backhanded compliment as I've ever heard. I don't know. I don't like backhands. It hurts. No. Yeah. Well, we have to go through these wishes anyways. Yeah, I guess that's true. Well, yeah, that's fair. Either that or you die. So I don't want to die. Let's go ahead and rub it. Lick it. Whatever it is that you do when you get cosment or out here. I do miss his voice. And then he and Omo rubs the lamp because he was rubbing on one side and then man, he's going to the other side and looking.

Yeah. Oh, no. But there's not a way to say that that it doesn't sound we don't need fan art. Just send your fan fiction to your podcast. Sometimes Wednesdays are long. OK, like, you know, send your cosments or fanfic to send your Ryan. You pick the Ryan. Maybe Ryan on Ryan action. I don't know. Whatever you need to any fan art at this point. Yes, we're all thirsty. We are thirsty. If I get something, I will hang it up right here. Oh, oh, but if it's got naughty bits, I'm going to have to blur that out every time we do. I can I can get like a small sheet and then we can cover it.

But you just know you just get. Yeah, maybe just get like a little black bar to cover up bits. Oh, yes. I'll get little pieces of electrical tape. I'll cut it out. Just put it all over the nipples, please, because too much depends on what kind of different free the no man nipples. Wow, that's sexist. You could do it. I like it. There you go. We all like lady nipples. You know, yeah. Public beaches must be rough for you. I don't go to the beach often just because I don't I don't like sand in places. I know what he said. No. So about this cosment or thing. So you're going to you're going to polish up this lamp here.

And you know, as as that smoke starts to pour out, both of these columns are going to light up the ones that aren't. And that smoke is going to stop dead. And just kind of like recede. And then the columns are going to. Delight a fi. Well, I'll be honest, they did not expect that to happen. So the ones that we'd already got to light up are no longer lit. OK, so stay on it to just the other two. So did they seem to like prevent it from happening? If you were if you were a betting man. Yes. Huh? No open book test is what I'm getting. I'm getting that vibe. Yeah, I think it's supposed to be more of a pop quiz type thing.

Clearly, this dungeon is using eye tracking software on us. Too close to home, too close. That's what I'm doing. I'm designing all of these trials based on your professions. That's it's like an Ultron, like studied all of you. All of the Avengers. The floor is spider webbed. Yeah, exactly. OK, I recently found out that a friend of mine worked on into the Spider-Verse. You don't say who could that be? Oh, Mandy. Mandy. Yes, that is I. Good old Sandy Mandy. That was that's what they say. How dare you? All right. So if that failed and Quirrell kind of like rub his face a little bit, I don't think he'll come out of your face either.

Ah, no, that's not if you wish for that. Oh, you got a word that one really carefully. It's a weird non-vore thing. OK, so I think as mentor is telling us to that we were on the right track. That's a unique interpretation. That's for guys where he said not comfortable with it, but let's go. Hey, because mentor, if you can't come out, can I come in or something and talk to you? Because this is weird. What if you get stuck? Can I? Oh, that's a good point. We shouldn't do that. Now, I kind of want to go in. I don't know. He said he doesn't like anyone going in. Oh, that's true.

Oh, yeah. No consent. Yeah. So he manifests his blade back in his hand. Well, that worked. Oh, does he? Can he? Yeah. OK. Just no third parties. Yeah. All right. I can get Roger down here talking. We can really we get an odd number of people. There wouldn't be any tiebreakers needed, like, you know. Olmo starts walking around this room with the pillars, with this torch, looking for anything that looks like a clue, either on the existing pillars to see if there's something better lit up that he couldn't see before or on the walls around the pillars. And Crib's going to take a harder look at the floor with like the spider webs to see if there's any sort of pattern or indication on that side for extra.

Both of you do me a favor. Give me a perception check, please. Can do. Oh, look at you with the big print. Nothing done it. Yeah. Finally rolled something good. You were owed that. I rolled a 20 for a total of twenty two and I rolled a fourteen for a fourteen. Matter of fact, Jason, that was you didn't say at that time you didn't say it was due. Oh, you. Oh, what a subtle way to blame me that that's that may must be because I didn't say it. You know what you could. I'd like to think that it just took a while that me wishing you good luck. It's finally got enough of that random chance, the positive.

Yeah, it's to affect. OK. Yeah, it's. Oh, so quick short rest here. OK. Oh, it took a short rest. I figure I should click on that because I might get a. I might get a. OK, I don't get a part of inspiration back. That's good to know. OK. They're too young, too young a bargain. So let's start with almost almost going to kind of give one more cursory glance around this place just to see if there's any like, oh, there was a lever the entire time or something like that. Something else written somewhere. Why not? Right. You will notice. That the two doors remaining have changed.

They look actively different. They are noticeably different from the red and blue doors on the opposite side. On the on on the orange door. There is this there's a scale like a weight measurement scale, not like a dragon scale. And on the green one. There is. It looks like an indentation. And it it almost looks like someone put their head through the door almost like and the door formed a perfect shape of a face. Very strange. Getting a second look at this floor with your big old crit. You kind of notice something you have not noticed before, which is the best thing I could be saying to you right now.

So obviously, the dragon takes you know, it's the star of the show, right? It's hard not to pay attention to that. And then on top of that, you got these these brightly glowing neon tendrils underneath. And if you were again, if you were a betting man, you'd bet that the the green and orange ones are going to do the same in the end and like this thing up in the center, though, you're going to notice there's a strange it's kind of a it's kind of a strange spacing, like the tendrils don't stretch all the way across the floor. It almost looks like the two that are joining up so far have formed like a half circle.

And the colors are sort of blending together a little bit picture like a like like like a little RGB strobe type of thing, but it's just red and blue right now. OK. I don't know what to do with that, but OK. Not yet. Cribble will point it out. Showing kind of the difference in colors and how there's kind of this almost this blank area kind of in the middle that's not being touched yet. How tall is the ceiling in here? Pretty damn sizable, like straight up. You'd you'd probably say it's good, you know, 20 feet. But what's weird about the ceiling in here is it's kind of domed a little bit.

It kind of it almost looks like the the bricks forming this place are resting on each other. And that's kind of how it it just it doesn't look incredibly stable, but everything looks rock solid at the same time. So we can see the bricks on the ceiling, though. They're up there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So are you powering or scratching on any of the bricks? On the lower portions, yes, but not a large claw sized, more like human sized, claw sized. Like all the way around, it looks like there's some sort of rubbing or something, and then sometimes it looks like like scratching like.

Yeah, but it's it's it's all within five feet of the floor. And this is consistent with a lot of with when we the area where we entered to. Yeah. So it's like insanity style. Yeah. Is that deep? If if you were to measure and it's kind of weird because it's it's it's like fog to glass, like, you know, you'd say it's maybe 40, 50 feet down there. So probably not that low. Yeah. Hmm. Really curious about what's on the other side. So we sticking to the half numbers or we want to go to the well, I think common denominator. I feel like the puzzle decided it needed to up itself.

Yeah. While we rested. Yeah, totally changed. Should the pillars still have the normal color and dias on them? Same stuff. So the only thing that really changes the doors. Yeah. So and this one has a face now and and. Well, like a face shape like. Hmm. Hold on. This kind of face is what race like human face, dragonborn face. It looks big. Like a big face. Like if you were to like not human like this, the snouts too long. So maybe dragonborn, but like kind of a kind of a like a snub nose, like something like that. Is any of who among us has like the shortest snout?

Mine's pretty long. You're not to brag. Me, just a smaller face, plus my art is very small. True. So bigger than a human, maybe smaller than Omo or Kriv. Yes. Yeah. Like it's way too small for us. So so to like, you know. Well, there's just there's this kale too. Yeah. There's something else attached to it. I mean, that's on the green door. Oh, there's a different story. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also girthy. Snout has been discussed very long and thin. Here's the thing. It's it's it's long. It's got the length. It's not a lot of girth, though, not less substantialness at the base.

I imagine he knows how to use his face. I'm not saying he doesn't. I'm just saying facts are facts. Like if we're measuring stuff out, like, you know, it's not coming out of shapes and sizes, you know. That's true. Yeah. My principal, it's all about emotion of the drag. Yeah. Sometimes there's a reason guys are angry, though, that's all I'm saying. Not me, not overcompensating for nothing. So get in there, Clover. Watch you. I get to touch. Everybody's actually letting me touch something. This is amazing. Yeah. She's going to be like, boom. Oh, boy. So you're just going to stick your face in.

Yeah. Obviously, Jason. Sure. OK. Wow. OK, cool. Yeah, let's do this. We're moving things. Yeah, we're doing it. This is not this is making me personally just like. Good. So the second you do this, the door is going to react and the green pillar is going to light up like real fucking bright. And then that door is going to vanish. And I need. Everyone to give me a constitution saving throw. Hell yeah, brother. Oh, here. Perfect. Oh, I didn't hit it yet. OK. Oh, Clover, give me one with disadvantage. I'm so sorry. Give me just give me another roll. We'll take the lower one because you're right there.

Right. You're face deep in it. Did it go? Yeah. Oh, that was it. Oh, OK. Fantastic. OK, so. Uh huh. Criven, almo. Hello. You are going to get sucked into this room now. The room is going to change shape just a bit after you're sucked in and that door is going to reappear. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, you are sealed in and they are sealed out. Now, what's interesting is the face indentation is going to disappear and there's just a porthole now. And you guys can look and see what's going on in and out like you're not you're not blocked by anything. Now what's interesting about the room that you're in is it's it's wider than it is long.

So it's only about, I'd say, 10 feet from the door to the back of the wall. But it's about 25 feet long. Like it's a big wide room. Physically, it doesn't look like it should fit where you guys were just a second ago. Sorry, Doctor Who, but like it's there. And can I get you know what everybody outside? So we've got you. So almost starts rubbing furiously. And I've got those drugs. Yeah, it's a party now, brother. I shove it in my mouth. So the walls are going to start to move. I'm glad I'm not in there. Yeah. Fuck. So let's go up. And what's going to happen is on the outside, words are going to start to appear on the door.

Oh, no. Oh, the puzzle guy is in teammate puzzles. I keep talking. No one explodes. Is that what it is? So basically, as long as you guys perform well and answer Lancer, if you answer five correct questions to random, random trivia from around the Internet. Yeah, we're going we're going nuts on this one. As long as you guys just you you answer five questions. That's it. They're being victims and they have to answer. Yes. Oh, no. Every time they get one wrong, obviously the walls are going to speed up a little bit. But, you know, you know, so it'd be great to have guys mentor.

Well, he's not popping out, so. As mentors, what almost calls it, we fear out there. Crazy, like it's is it the only thing you'd be able to hear is if. Yeah, like except for the motion of the girl, like that, the grinding of stone on stone. But you'd barely hear it if they'd slam on the glass like it's it's it's muffled and like that kind of, you know, as soon as this happens right behind the seats in like the camera scene through the little window, you're just going to be seeing Cribb like start to move a little bit more panic. He's going to move over towards one side and he's going to start like doing like the mime thing, right?

He's going to start feeling around the walls and starting to just see if he can figure anything out because he doesn't know what's happening on the outside. Yeah. Well, as soon as those are text forming, like, OK, I think we get the. We got a clue out here. Don't get squished. We'll help you out. Oh, no, cousin, uncle. Oh, no. I need you to focus, lover. Just like I was I guess I don't put my face in things. Is that the lesson here? Oh, God. But I like to put my face places. So as you may have guessed, this puzzle is all about fear. So the questions are going to be horror themed for the most part.

Now this could range from video game trivia, movie trivia. Can I fight three Minotaur skeletons? I know. I'm most afraid I'm most afraid of Mandy and Xavier getting questions that are super easy for them. That's what terrifies me. Yeah. Well. Oh, we'll see. I don't watch a lot of movies. Well, maybe it's true of your pursuit style and you get to choose a category. Oh, God. Oh, I could do that, but it's. Oh, we have a horror trivia pursuit, but it's it's pretty, pretty rough, honestly. Never mind. Do we get to like tag team like I don't know this. Xavier, go. I guess we'll find out.

Honestly, I'm kind of glad if I was on the outside, it wouldn't be that much better. I'm not quite as good at like horror trivia. Oh, I know nothing about horror. So I'm I yeah, I like the fact that I'm in the room. Slender man. The other thing we do is just do random trivia. Totally up to you. No, no. Let's do horror. Let's let's get to the fear. Yeah. It's like I'm not in a room with the closing walls. Whatever. Let's go. All right. Let's play the game as intended. Brainstorming other characters. Yeah, you got time. You had five questions. All right. So the good news is you guys get to work together.

It's not one on one. So you guys get to you get to talk to each other and you get to you know. So in Jeepers creepers, the creeper rises every how many years to feed? Jesus Christ. Christ. Well, this is a specific clover. You see Jeepers creepers? No. Is that the one with the hook guy? I know the words Jeepers creeper. OK. It's either a very big number or very specific number. Yeah. Or one year annually. He could be. Oh no. In Jeepers creepers. How much time does it take for the thing to wake up and feed? Well, it's a very small group. Can we hear? Did you say we can hear them?

Not really. No, I can't hear a thing. You'll see his lips flapping like you'll definitely. I'm targeting like every 10 or every like year. Well shit. Do you ever? Obviously there's a timer. So we're going to have to you guys get 30 seconds. And this one I was really generous. So I need an answer. Do you want to roll a die? Sure. OK. Is that for the number or just a higher level? For the number. OK. There. Five years. Five years. Every 23 years. OK. That is such a crazy expensive number. It's a it's somebody was reading the Illuminati books too much practice round. Guys is going to speed up, but it was just practice.

OK, so while you're in here, those like those walls are going to pick up speed like noticeably. You can hear like that grinding. So the walls are like 23 feet away by now, like they are there. They're moving in like. Use your teleport spells. Tread spells. Olmo will try to use a spell. The ground that the walls are moving the floor is smooth. He tries to use earth tremor to disturb the floor and make it so the walls can't move as easily. OK. I'm sure it won't work, but he will try. So the good news is this isn't going to take up a spell slot. Oh, OK. Well, I will turn that back to a number three.

Yeah, no, it's like it's just not going to happen here, sadly. Now, the good news is. Every time you get a question wrong, the next question is going to get a little easier. Good. I like that. What was the name of the summer camp where Friday the 13th takes place? Oh, I know that one, but not right now. Shit, I know that one. It's an easy one to. Yeah. Fuck. Is this like the camp Crystal Lake thing? Beating on the wall. So it is Camp Crystal Lake. OK, I was torn between that or some random Native American name. I'm like, no, it's Crystal Lake. Thank you, Mindy.

Good job. So that's one. So there's going to be like there's going to be five slots on this door and one of them is going to light up, just letting you know. OK, shit, that's great. What was the name of the movie by M Night Shyamalan? About Satan in an elevator. Devil Devil is correct. Very good. I feel like that one wasn't from trivia. I feel like that's one. That's the question you wrote. I'm so I've got I've got a bunch, but anytime I could throw an M Night Shyamalan. Yeah, I had the feeling I do feel like he was just trying to balance out the Aerosmith song Love in an elevator just with the opposite.

Yeah. Oh, now the movie makes sense. OK, so that's two right. One wrong. You're doing great so far. You do an amazing guys. You can sit down. Oh, God. Oh, God. Cribs still is the name. Rightfully so. So again, I feel like it's it's like like twenty one feet by now, somewhere in there, like it's it's yeah. What is the name of the hotel? Jack Torrance is hired to care for in The Shining. Another one like that. Ten seconds. No guesses. Nothing. Yeah, I guess we should guess. It's like. Red roof. Winter Vale. Snare in. Wow. I don't know. I mean, it's I just remember it's snowing.

The freezes. I was going to say something with winter, too, because it's snowing. Yeah, I need an answer. I can't even come up with one. Yeah. OK. It's the Overlook Hotel app. I would not have gotten that. It's fine. Guys, it's fine. Guys, fine. You're going to speed up again. We're at 19 feet now. They're just like they're they're they're coming in like it's noticeable now. The room is shrinking. What's the name of the killer in the Saw franchise? Saw, saw, saw that franchise. It's the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's there is. Yeah, there is. Jigsaw.

Jigsaw is correct. I was like puppet guy. That's three right. God, not feeling nothing. That's just when I know that. It's so hard, hard, right? So because the walls did speed up, we're at 16 feet now. So yeah, you just know you got to know. Rave has drug in hand. Looking at it, looking at the wall, looking at the bottom. Is nothing he has done has worked. How many times has the leprechaun gone to the hood? What the fuck? Let's say two. Two is correct. Oh my God. Good job. I know it wasn't just one. Oh yeah. No, he had to go back to the hood. Yeah. OK, that makes sense.

That's four. I thought that was going to stump you. Oh man. I could have said three, but I was I got shy. You don't want to go back to the hood too many times. He had to have time to go to space. Savior's at a roll. Too familiar with that franchise. Olmo is going to look for a spot to see if there's a track the walls are sliding on. And it worked before a little bit to try and damage the track. And he's going to try and do just smack it with a hammer if he can find that. It won't do anything. He has to do something. Yeah, no, no, no. I imagine you guys are running back and forth.

So 13 feet, by the way. And I'm going to I'm going to have you roll something in just a second. But there's that. Let me ask one more question here while we're, you know, in the purge. How long does the purge last? It's 24 hours. It's either 24 hours or just the night. 24 hours. 24 hours? Yeah. I'm going to. Yeah. If you were going to say something different, say your thing. I was going to say 24 hours. OK. Yeah. I was going to say it was just at night. It could be just at night. Yeah. You want to say just at night? But I don't know what that means in terms of hours.

Till sun down? Sunrise? Yeah, till. Yeah. Let's do till sunrise. I need a length of hours. Oh, God. Well. Yeah, that would be about 12 hours. 10 or 12. Damn. I got a lot of numbers being. Because I remember because I thought it was like they go in their house and they're supposed to just. What if it is? 10 hours. We'll be looking for 12 hours. Oh, God. It was 12 hours. 12 hours the purge goes on. The walls are now at eight feet and closing fast, fast, fast, fast. Can you roll an attack for me? Yeah. Would you hammer? Would you pick old hammer? Hey, I want to know if I can do something.

Is it spells that don't work or or special class abilities? Will those work? I can't tell you. That's OK. Almo is going to before he swings, he's going to he always like is a little bit hunched over, like just kind of habitually. And he stands up straight and that's pretty big. And if this works, it kind of looks like he keeps standing up more and more straight. And then clearly that's not it. He's way too big now. OK. And he is using the ability giant smite and he is now large sized. Oh, that means if he hits a thing, he has advantage on strength checks and strength saving rolls.

And if he hits something, he does an extra d6 to it. Yes, he will get squished quicker. Yeah, that's the only drawback to this plan. You take up more squares. Yeah, but still, but he's got to try. Jason, Missy Step doesn't Missy Steps band, right? Not bad. Just doesn't work here. Yeah, I think I saw it on the list. I don't know. Who knows? OK, just bad. There's no trees here anyway. Yeah, that's true. The one we can all agree on. Yeah, that's just silly. So through the little foothold there, you have an advantage, though. There's an attack. It's right. If it's a strength check, it's different.

OK, soon, though. So through the little port hole thing that you can look through, Kriv goes from like trying to hit everything to taking his weapon out and like stabbing, trying to jam something in there to do something. Just desperation. Yeah, just like desperation at this point. He finally just kind of like this stops. We got this. Great. We got this. We're on the other side. Just yeah. What is the name of the killer in the scream franchise? I mean, oh, I mean, there's a different killer every time. But I think the name of the like the icon. Oh, 20 seconds.

Is it Ghostface? I think it's Ghostface then. Yeah, I think it's Ghostface. Lame face. Mouthface. That's the only guess I heard was Ghostface. Yeah, I didn't even know he had a name, honestly. I was just like, it's this douchebags and then it's the mom douchebag is correct. No. 10 seconds. Ghostface? It's correct. Oh my God, Titor. Man, honestly, good job Xavier. Yeah. A lot of heavy lifting in this. I mean, I feel like I got lucky enough to get just like the easier on the spectrum of like the whole genre that is. Take it, man. You did it. You did the thing. Thank you.

This door is going to disappear again and that block is going to be charged same way as the other ones. So big green block. Boom. It's glowing. Looks like it's radioactive. So as a wall disappears and the wall stop and everything, you just go ghostface. He picks up the cube. Ghostface! A way too large Omo kind of like squeezes his way out of the room. Yeah. I'd love to excuse me, please. You are the going squad. Man, they just acting like a toddler. Oh yeah. Come on up. Jason, when did you give your console to? Yeah, I know it's got the cousin mentor voice. It's just pure man.

That's what I'm talking about. Why are you all small? Why are you big? Also, I didn't help much, but I'm here. Hug. Oh, big hug. Yeah. I like to think it's like, no, I haven't seen that play. Like, he's just like, it's like, I don't get out of the theater. So, um, okay, no, go, go for it. I was going to role play the shock, but, uh, green. Go ahead. Sorry. I got, we're trying to walk to the door at the same time. Go. Okay. Oh, my, what the hell is happening to you? What happened in there? Oh, there was a big wall where they tried to squeeze us and we tried to stop it from doing that.

Yeah. You're huge now though. Oh, I've always been huge bro. Check out these guns. Don't, don't, don't gaslight me. I don't appreciate it. My cousin is very big actually. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. It was probably, probably one of those wish things. Oh, Oh, okay. Oh, cause mentor delivered. Okay. I assume so. Well, good news is you're both not dead. We got the thing charged and Clover is free to stick her face in the holes again because it didn't kill nobody. So you're good. Oh, thank you. You did a good thing. Is it still there? Can I do it again? Oh, please don't. Yeah, maybe not.

Okay. Next time I run to the column, stick my face in it. Clive walks out like really, really slow and he's like holding onto the totem that he has on his necklace. And then just like, I did not like that. I'll be okay, but I do not want to do that again. What, what happened out here? Because what we did clearly did not work. Not at all. It would be just, oh yeah. Okay. I'm back to normal size. I yeah. Hmm. He says, okay, like makes himself a little bigger now. Yeah. We just solved some more riddles. Baby shit. Forget about that. I forgot about that. Thank you. So it was really cool.

They're like all these little scrambly words. And he started to say weird things that it would glow. Like it actually liked the weird words. And so I think that his words are power. Ghost face. That sounds like a pretty good word. Is that going to become like a motto for us? Yeah. Just a victory cry. It's a chant. Ghost face. Oh, okay. So yeah, we put that in and while they put in the green cribs, it's going to start to start looking at this scale. Yeah. Honestly, I almost just want to flip it upside down. So this is the least magical or high tech thing, right?

It just looks, it just looks like a set of scales. Now, there's two things that are interesting about it. On the one scale, and that's the side that's weighted down, there's a little dragon figurine. Looks like it's onyx, something like that. And it's just sitting there. And above the scale is etched into the door. What are you willing to sacrifice of yourself for the privilege? So you got your red, blue, and green columns lit up that spider webbing all through the floor and you're almost there. There's three quarters of a circle illuminated in the center of this room now.

What do you guys want to do? So Cribs is going to read that out loud. And he's not going to say, like, look around, he's just going to like read it and then eyes still fixated on it. He's going to exhale one big exhale. He's going to pop the totem from the necklace and he's going to go drop it on the other scale. Oh, so sacrifice your family. Smaller respect, really. When you drop it on the scale, it's going to sink down just a bit. And that little onyx figure is going to raise up. But that totem is going to evaporate. Does the amount that the onyx dragon raised up stay raised up?

Yes. Zozo is going to look at the sign, look at the statuette, then look at the dragon down below. And hop on the scale. So long. No. He's going to manifest his blade again for effect, even maybe it was still there. It was already there. He's going to manifest it again. He's going to bring it up to the back of his head and hold one of his horns. She is going to just slice that horn off and probably hurt a bunch. OK. Yeah, that's an indescribable amount of pain to inflict upon yourself. Like that's a lot. He's willing. Yeah. So lots of blood, lots of like that's a lot.

He'll. Shit. Yeah. So are you dropping it on the scale? I would imagine of keeping it. Yeah. He tosses like some coins. Yeah. He drops it on a scale. That that scale is going to kind of plummet like a decent amount, like noticeably. I can take off like hit points if you want. Oh, yeah. Give me. Give me 10. A d10. No, no, no, 10, 10 damage. Just 10 damage. I had 10 hit points. You want me to shave those off first or go straight to the. No, no, no, no. Take those 10. That's what I'm there for. Cool. All right. And he does. Oh, ouch. Ghost face. Ghost face. Do we still need more of that?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Does it need something from everyone here? Probably a good guess. I don't think I have anything that could on me. I got my little hammers, got my little hammer. I got a crossbow I never used, but that feels like cheating. I have a feeling that the magic smart dungeon of riddles, it doesn't want to just a crossbow. It's oh. Oh, I had that guitar with way a lot. Oh, what was that you're saying? The guitar, oh no. Just covers, just like holds up. It digs through her pack. I have the shot class that from when uncle had his drinking game and lost.

She's just going to pop it on there. That's good. That'll evaporate and the scale move like almost not at all like. Oh, but I liked that. Elmo will grab his loot and go, oh no, no, no, no, no. He'll play just a few quick notes on it and then he'll nod and he'll and he heard you saying oh no, no. The second he started to grab it and he's like, I mean, I just, I just had to play it a little bit, but I don't have any other ideas. It's gotta be something that makes it move a lot. Or is that lamp? I'm not convinced that if I give it the lamp that I won't still die.

No, yeah, I mean that's yeah, that's a big sacrifice if you want to be able to make. No cousin, I don't want you to give up your music here. And so she's going to be like, and she's going to take off her necklace, her little clover necklace and just be like, no, that's your lucky clover. No, I found this and mama said it will give me good luck when I'm on my journey, but you need your music and she'll quickly put it in there. It'll evaporate just like everything else and that scale will sink just a bit more. It's almost level. No, Gomo, you have to have your music.

And she's like, I have, I have more flowers and I have some herbs and she's just going to dump stuff in there. Like, no, these are, I found this today here. Magic, gold, lint, no dice, like no movement. Well, it's almost level show. He has five gold left. Stop, stop. Maybe now it looks like maybe now it'll accept the crossbow. Now that so much has already been given, maybe now it'll accept it. And he grabs a crossbow and he puts it on the thing because he thinks that you'll let him do that. So that crossbow is going to disappear. And can you do me a favor and roll a d4?

All of us? Just okay. Right down the middle. Yes. Okay. So as you drop this crossbow in, you're going to feel like a sting, like, like, like something like it's almost like a paper cut, but real bad. And your ring finger is going to be missing. And obviously that stump is going to be bleeding, but the crossbow and that finger drop into this scale and they both disappear. And this thing is going to plummet. The onyx figurine is going to raise and that block is going to light up bright orange. Oh God. Medicine check to stop the bleeding. Do it. 14. Yeah. You know.

Yeah. You got. Yeah. So it comes over pretty quickly and like pulls up at the cloth piece of cloth out of his backpack and then pitch player and just kind of wraps it around, secures it, make sure that everything's okay with it. And we're like, what the fuck was that? It asks us to it asked what we were willing to sacrifice for this and gave it junk. Sorry about your finger, Omo, but you three need to get your head in the game. If we're going to pull this through, bleeding from the forehead. That was my lucky necklace. That was my lucky finger. Sorry. Sorry about it.

So I can't control this guy. Gets very upset with that, but then kind of bites his tongue and just stomps past. I assume we're taking the cube, putting it in. I imagine. Put it back in the scales to kind of like break the machine. No kidding. Oh, and the whole of that place just comes down. Yeah. It's just our finger. We'll take your existence. So with the last of these pillars lit. That that circle is fully formed. Now you could tell that there's there's something there. And that shape beneath you. But you could swear every once in a while you see it twitch or move or something like you.

You swear. But this whole place is lit up like a Christmas tree. And in the center where that that circle is, those lights are just going to kind of strobe on and off. And this this almost ethereal light in the form of a ball is going to rise up. And you can almost feel it speaking like it's it's like like there's this there's this feeling in your chest. Right. But it's kind of it's like a little messed up, like a little distorted, like it just doesn't like like for some reason. It feels like it's a bad connection or a bad signal almost right. And before we get into what it says.

There's a feeling that kind of comes over you like a like a feeling of completion. And. Almost acceptance. Right. But as this thing speaks to you, there's there's something kind of tingling in the back of your head. And it's it's kind of like like, oh, I'm forgetting something like that type of thing. And here's OK, here's here's what it's going to say to you. All but one of you. Performed admirably. There was one in your party who contributed nothing. That member will be punished. And there's kind of like a silence. And nothing happens for like a like like a while.

Like you kind of feel like it's like. Going to follow up on that thought you're going to, you know, and there's there's like that big ball of light is going to spit out a smaller ball and it's going to float out toward the party. And kind of creep. Go ahead. If it moves towards Clover almost tries to jump in the way of it. It's just kind of moving in the direction of the party and then it's going to dart off and head back the way you came. Roger, no. I mean, sure, but just Roger's sitting there peacefully eating grass and all of a sudden this ball of light comes out of nowhere and just.

Awesome. OK, what a way to go. So after this thing zips off again, there's kind of like a kind of like a silence like. Are we cool now like that type of thing like. Because this member of your party contributed nothing. It will be your final challenge. Meet this party member. Slay one of your own. And you will prove. That you are worthy. You're going to hear. This rumbling. And it is going to get more defined and you're going to hear bits and pieces of this place like like you can hear. And then you're going to hear running like it is definitely like rhythmic and coming your way and almost bursting into the room.

Is this nine foot tall goat creature? Oh, OK. What a way to go. At least it eliminates like any moral quandary about like having to kill Roger. Well here's the thing. If we can. Well if it depends, right? Did he bust in here like, hey, I'm powerful enough to help. I'm here. Or is he like all berserk out? Well what he's going to. OK. It's almost like he's just almost rage incarnate. And he's almost going to burst into the room and he can still speak. But you know. Only one of you can can understand, but he's just going to run to the room. Gnomes control the government.

He is going to. Frisk. Oh, the truth is out. Finally. This complete opposite of what I was thinking. No. Yeah. Guys, we got a boss fight on our hands. Oh, a big bad boss fight. I am so excited. This session due to our crappy Internet, if you're in our Patreon games, you know what I'm talking about. I have waited for this for so long and now we get to do it. So it's a great time to say the views and opinions expressed by Alpha Roger are not necessarily the views and opinions expressed by the rest of the cast and DNR as a whole. That's why we're going to murder him.

OK, wait, hold on. That's the right message to does it. Let's hear him out. Maybe he's got, you know, he's going to bring points. Guys, please add yourself to the combat tracker and let's roll initiative. Oh, shit. OK, so so with a four, Alma with a three, Clover with a 17 and crew with a 14. Two of you guys showed up to play. All right. Let's and we're still tired from work. Yeah. And Alpha Roger. Oh, boy. 15. Would you guys like a boss bar? Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. I like the boss music and stuff. And then I want an ending theme after to pop up about phase two. But if you right next to the little chat message, there's the combat encounter.

If you right click that, you get a pop up that you can move around. Really? Oh, I like that. Yes, we can see the chat and the combat tracker at the same time. We're learning. Oh, amazing. Ryan G. Big Ryan. That's big. Ryan G. Oh, I like my R and D skills come into play sometimes. We call them OGRG. So what does it R and D skills when I do it? It's called touching things. I see how it is. I'm professionally an R and D director. So yeah. I like he's the kind of guy who could, like, troubleshoot some sound stuff and get it done right away. Like, he's trained in tech.

Oh, I went to school for this kind of thing. Like, oh, this is good. Guys, you don't know that story. Listen, just tag me in the in Discord somewhere and I'll tell you that lovely story. My downfall. That's so good that I just need to take a sip from this bullet old fashioned. Mm hmm. Oh, no, it's spreading. You got to get it. You got to sponsor us at this point. We've given you like 20 ads, Bullet. Like, come on, Bullet. You got the money. Come on. Kids are drinking it now. Everyone's doing it. It's OK. They're part French. Like, it's fine. Like, it's fine. Only with cigarettes.

It's fine. It's fine. Only when they're feeling on, we like that. That's the only time Clover is kicking us off. Go get them. So let me paint a picture. Let's let's get let's let's let's let's bring us back into the mindset of six months ago when we sat down last. So you it kind of looked like you were about to be attacked by this this glowing orb and it takes off instead and it transforms Roger to this hulking beast, this monstrous goat hulk. And he just comes sprinting in in, you know, up up up to where you are smashing through walls and stuff and just kind of like sliding into the room.

And he is very, very ready to be aggressive. Like you can see in his eyes like it's like, OK. It's that is no mistaking. Throw an apple at him. Do I actually know that this is Roger? I mean, yeah, do I do I know? I mean, it was it was very heavily hinted at. OK. No, Clover doesn't. Well, let me ask a question. Well, that's the thing. Like, OK. How much has Zozo shared with the group about the opinions expressed by Roger? I don't know. I can't recall. Probably a little bit like, hey, yeah, when we took a short rest or something like that. About that Roger guy, you know, we kind of pull people aside after you guys get away from him.

Yeah, I like kind of like, hey, I thought he was cool, but I don't know. Yeah. I think that Clover is going to be like, oh, God. Oh, I didn't mean to make myself go. Just be like, oh, there's a big thing and we're supposed to fight it and just not like I think the thing was talking to them and saying, oh, blah, blah, blah. But what of you is blah, blah, blah. And she kind of tuned it out. So it doesn't quite understand that that is Roger. Just like big thing going grrr. And so she's going to go up and be like. I don't like that. And she's going to go like, and then sparkles are going to come out and towards the thing.

And she is going to use a force blast. This is within 30 feet now, I think. She's going to jubilee the fuck out of them. OK. Yeah. Pretty much. Let's do it. Oh, normal. That will hit. It will hit. Oh, it will hit someone. OK. Uh, normal damage. Yeah. He's a big old target. Six to mooch. And I'm just going to attack. I think I get two attacks, right? Hold please. It's not on my thing, but I'm pretty sure I do. Extra attack. Yep, I do. So I'm going to. Level five you can. Huh? Level five, you get it. I like that red bar there that says Alpha Roger takes six damage. That's pretty.

Yeah, the boss bar is broken, but oh, that's our first crit. Holy hell. Do the thing where he dies. Do the thing where he dies. Isn't that amazing? I'd be so infuriated. He's not a fucker. There's no there's no chance. D6 is it for the D6? Let's see if it rolls on a crit table. It does roll on our crit table. Still good. It's still good. If it was, I would have like asked for a redo of the fight. Oh, why? I want to play it as it lies. Gotta play it as it lies. So it's not live. So uh, Roger's got this. Like he's kind of like hunched over his posture is terrible. Like he's got he's got this club that almost looks like there's the hilt is so long.

It almost looks double sided. And the other hand, like he is just like he's pointing directly at at Clover. And this blast is going to be so concentrated that it takes his hand off at like at the elbow, like it's going to fall. And he's just going to like just oh, man, he is. He's in a lot of pain. Give me give me some crit damage. All right. Here's some crit damage. Oh, 10. Not the best, but I'll do it. And the red bars are nice. It's a nice positive like reinforcement. Yeah, like it. I like it. I like it. And just show sparkle, sparkle cousin cousin, get it cousin.

And that's it. OK. Let's OK. OK, I wanted I wanted it's Roger's turn. I want to dip my toes into the waters of awfulness. So let's start small. So he's OK. OK, so he is going to point directly at Clover with the club this time, like it like it is spurting blood. The other one like it is it is this gnarled stump now. I will not be cut by a female. So that's that's his opening. That's his open. Like, again, we're starting small. We're starting small. So he's just called you inferior. It's as nothing like he hasn't said anything truly terrible yet. And he's going to run directly at Clover and swing twice with his great club.

It's pretty terrible, though. Did it's really terrible. Fernal or common common. Yes, common. That's common now. Yeah. OK. Yeah. He must have been listening to a lot of like language apps while he was waiting on us in here. Yeah. I think it's part of the translation. Like I think I think so. OK, I think part of the transformation is like. That awfulness needs to translate for some of his innate spell casting to work. So they went common and cast a big broad net. Right. You know what I mean? So it's really terrible. So here we go. Number one, attack to clover. Big bonus.

Yeah. One, two, one. Damage. 13. Did you back away? Oh, no, I didn't mean to. Sorry. I was trying to be. I disappeared. Oh, no. I always try to change my my HP, but you did it. You're up there. That's where you are. Yeah. He so he just blam. He smacks you once and he's going to raise the club above his head, not with his other arm, of course. And he's just going to come down with it and attack. Number two. 19. Yeah, so close. 12 damage. Get out of there. That'll do it for Alpha Roger. Crib, you are up. Oh, shit. OK, so seeing that the first thing is going to be is just going to shout, surround them, right?

And just trying to get something out there. Sure. So I'm just going to kind of move up to the side and then around. To the back and. A little swing swing with the pike. Let's do it. Give yourself advantage, of course. Do I get any? Bonuses. Advantage. OK. Yeah. Oh, oh, 17 will hit. That was almost 20. So right before it makes contact, his blade is going to glow. It's like, you know, almost when like you're writing something in like Microsoft Word, you highlight it, you bold it, and all it does is just like put a little emphasis on it just a little bit. That's all it did.

His blade went bold and green. That's it. As he starts to stab down. So yeah, so just to the acre right now. Oh, that's all right. So it's going to be additional 13 to the damage roll normal. OK, so 19 total, 19 total. Let's give him that bonus damage and then the base damage 19 total. So that's one big hit, kind of horizontal slash with his pike. And then he's going to raise it up above his head and try to slash downwards. Or a second one as I'm going to use a layer action real quick, just just to. Yeah. He's he's he's going to hold that club above like above his head and like he's winding up.

Just what? Yeah. One. Yeah, I got it. It looks like he's winding his fist back almost like it like he's bracing himself to attack. And let's see here. Dodge roll as the moment as it tells. Dodge towards the attack. Right here. There's yeah, he's going to he's going to crush that area. And OK, he's yeah, he's going to say, are you shimping for her bro? Like he's yeah. Sadness. So sad. I'm going to laugh every time. It's not it's not it's not funny, but it's funny. The voice, the voice does wonders to help like massage. Yeah, it's yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. OK, anything else for Cribb?

Yeah, so. He's going to. He's going to get in his last attack real quick. OK, let's do it. And there. Oh, 21 will hit. OK, perfect. Just going to be normal damage. Nine damage. All right. Well, wait a second. Oh, I'm not. There we go. Boom. Another nine damage. And so Roger like right after that, he's just going to scream back to his team. I've got his attention. Just trying to like just take take it this way, right? He doesn't want another hit going towards Clover. I don't think she could take another one like now. So, so you are up to Cribb's, as well, says, you got it, boss, and he'll.

What's the. What's the reach on that guy? So I want the attack of opportunity is what I mean. So yeah, he won't squeeze between Roger and the wall. Rosso will like dash left one, two, three, kind of like far away enough. And he'll just yell to Roger like, I was afraid we'd have to sacrifice a helpless goat for one of our great dragon gods. Now I have no issue crushing you with killing you, Roger. Get out of here. And he'll kind of like conjure a flame in his hand and he'll toss it on the ground and he'll kind of like ripple on the ground and like trail up to Roger's feet.

And it will erupt into like a big a big flame, a big dark flame. And I'm casting a cantrip create bonfire. So it'll last. It's a concentration spell. So I'm going to ping here, guessing it in this corner. Sure. You see my ping. I can see your ping. It's just a five foot cube and it's going to be two to eight damage. And every time anyone enters that square or ends their turn there, they're going to take the two to eight fire as well. OK, but he takes it now. Is this going to work like Minecraft, where if he dies burning, we get cooked mutton? Maybe I don't know.

Ask Jason. You got to listen to the go for a while. We will get there. So yeah, that's that's it for me. And then he readies his katana, the wrong holding it the wrong way. I must insist that it's not. Yeah, it's got to like. Yeah, it's got to be like running down the. Yeah. Oh, no, you are up. Hello. Let's see. All right. This is going to take a minute. Bonus action. It's not going to be a lot here. He's going to use a healing word on Clover at first level because all of his spells only go up to first level and he's going to say, oh, hey, you're you're doing great.

And he casts this nice little spell to give you little healing word for more. I got you. That might help. It does help. It can't hurt. And Alma will charge five, 10, 15, 20, 25. There you go. And he's moved into a good position. And I've used a bonus, I've used a move that leaves a regular action. I think that for his action this turn and bear with me, you might have heard this one before. He's going to try and hit him with his big giant maul. Nice one. T4 will hit. Let's find out what damage it does. Big damage, hopefully big damage, big money, no whammies. It does some damage.

That's good. Yeah. By the way, I'm sorry, but Roger had to save for my fire. I forgot to say that. Oh, it's a DC 14 deck save. Uh, well, let's see. Is he a nimble goat? Nah. So the damage stays. You're good. Yeah. You made a Mario sound there. That was my Chris breath. Oh, okay. R is almost done. Uh, uh, move. Yup. That's all three stages. So end of the round. Roger's a mall is going to come down on to Criv. Criv. Can I get a dexterity saving throw? We're looking for 14 or higher. My best skill. You got this baby. Oh, no, you know, that's a false. So that's okay. So 3d8 damage.

Nice. Oh, baby. That's the end of round one. You guys are holding your own here, but there's a potential for big damage. So I like your odds rerolling for everybody. Ooh, I'm at the bottom. Clover with a one. So we got almost Zozo alpha Roger Criv and Clover kind of like inverted. Yeah. A little bit. Yeah. All right. You ready? I'm ready. All right. Let's do this. Uh, almost looks up at, uh, this big goat man and he's like, wow, he's big. And then he remembers recently he got freaked out in the tunnel. He got really big and he's like, can I do that again? And he stands up straight and he stands up straighter and he gets bigger and bigger.

And now we got a large dragon too. When that dragon large dragon born, he is also, yeah, he uses, uh, uh, what is that ability? Where is that feature? Yeah, he uses him big and a giant smite. Thank you. Whoa. Nice. And he goes, uh, hmm. These are slight whistle sound. Oh man. It's just like that scene in street fighter when Honda and Zangiefer were like, Oh man, you guys remember the motion picture movie street fighter. Like, I liked that movie. Not to be confused with street fighter, the movie, the game. All right, the legend of Chun Li, the latest street fighter movie.

Oh, I forgot about that. I forgot that one. Are we talking about the one with Jean-Claude Van Damme is a guile, the super American. Then we're not talking about the one where they got the thinnest woman in the world to play Chun Li. One defining feature are her legendary thighs. Like that's a wonderful, that's the one. So that was his bonus action for his action. And this is going to be crazy, but I've been looking and looking, and I think this will work. He slams his hammer onto the ground really hard percussively and it starts vibrating and he swings it around and he goes to smack him with the hammer and we're using a little skill we called booming blade.

It's a spell that you, as part of casting it, you get to make a melee attack. Ooh, what's the spell do? Well, boom, it go boom. It does a certain amount of damage just because it's a cantrip and it's the level they are. And if Roger moves, he takes more damage. So I'm just going to cast, click on cast spell. And I just need to leave that there for now because I don't know which of those buttons I hit and I'm going to leave it alone. Yes, normal weapon damage now and the magic damage. It would be that if I was not the level I'm at, but because we're above fifth level and it's a cantrip, I get to do an extra D8 now if I hit.

Oh, I see, I see, I see. Anyway, I get moved. Did you? Yes, somebody, wow, you moved a lot. That's from the smash. Oh, no, I'm probably not sure. I didn't do that. I blame Mandy. That's true. What? Yeah, it was Mandy's cursor, that drag crib. We just saw that. I did not, I was looking. Sixteen hit? Sixteen will hit. All right, so brace yourself. This is going to get crazy real fast. Oh, okay. I love it. All the cooldowns. Okay, so we're going to start off just regular mall damage, right? I'm going to give you that first. Okay. Boom. Sure. There you go. There's nine damage.

Now the D8 booming blade damage. Let's hit that. There we go. There's another three. Let's see. He is a big, massive boy right now, and that means I need to scroll down to where I have his giant smite. There we go. It did not automatically do it, so I'll just click that D6 right there. Another six damage. Six. And that would be enough. It would be. Uh-huh. But his rune is his tattoo, his tat on his side. The bottomless joy brand, the word bottomless flares up and that casts a fire along to the hammer which ripples down. He uses the fire rune ability and he will take some damage for that.

Just some. Yep. And we're going to do normal. Oh, there's a saving throw to it too? Yes. Because if he fails this, it has an extra effect. So that is a 12 strength. I can't click that one. Yeah. Thank you. I got you. 18. Yeah, that was a long shot. That's all right. The important thing was a lot of damage was done. A lot of damage. Yes. A lot was used up, but that should be my turn. As a result of being bloodied. Oh, shit. Roger is going to kind of like invert his mall and there's a casting implement on the other side that looks a lot like a microphone and he's going to bring it up to his mouth and he's going to use a little thing called hate speech.

So it's a podcast thing implement. It is. Yeah, he's. I didn't think it was real. Oh, it's so real. And there's worse. I hope this battle goes on so much earlier. It's good. Oh man. Yeah. Right. I'm still doing so much damage. I can't do that again. I'm spent pretty much. So OK. So he's he's going to raise this to his mouth. Coming up on the show today, a bunch of soy boy beta cucks. And then I'm going to tell you who to vote for. I'm leaving. So he's. Everyone give me a wisdom saving throw when we're looking for 14 or higher. I'm going to. God, everybody. But so so everybody is really close.

Yes. I mean, what do we got to say? Throw saving throw at 14, 14 or higher wisdom. What are we rolling wisdom? Sorry, wisdom. Now, real quick, is the whole reason why you did the voice changer? Is that why you can say these things out of being your voice? So no sound snippets. I guess what parts of. OK, I'd say 65 percent immersion, 35 percent distancing. OK, OK, OK. Mandy, why was it disadvantage? Because I lost my lucky item. That's right. Yeah. Drop to 20 to get a two. Oh, so here's the way the spell works. Anyone who failed this, it's just clover. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, Mandy. So the way the spell works is until the end of your next turn, something about what he just said kind of makes some sense. Like you're like, oh, man, just for just for a minute. It's like a hallucination. We are so boycucked. Looking at Zozo. So you're going to have this disadvantage. You're going to have disadvantage on on attacks until the end of your next turn. I'm so sorry. We have made Mandy look really uncomfortable a lot of times. I know I never seen her look less comfortable. Can I OK. Does it make you feel better that I think the opposite of this, like like we talked about it in the pre-show?

No. OK, that's fine. Kill him. You feel better that if you zoom in dark, if you zoom in far enough to Alpha Rogers picture, you can kind of see a dark spot where his nipple is. I was about to zoom in. I don't want to. It's really floppy. What about the creeping forest where his junk would be? What does that like that like that hanging mangrove patch? Like the sound? This is like breaking breaking a finger to like, don't think about the bullet wound. This is totally that kid moment of like, man, my arm hurts. I can punch your other arm and you'll forget about it.

Yeah, it's going to be great. Don't worry. We love you, Mandy. Love you so much. The bottom of our hearts. So much. I just I'm not going to say like, what the fuck are you all talking about? Are you torturing a friend? So OK, Zozo, you are up. Yes. Zozo is going to. Look at Clover's expression of like agreement and like, huh? And he's going to do some ninja science with his hand. And he's going to say, Shadow Clone Jutsu. You're going to cast mirror image and black flames are kind of going to fan out of him and sprout into like copies of himself and like a dark flames going to kind of like envelop his own body.

So there's three copies in himself. So there's four identical like black flames, those kind of like circling around each other in his space. That's it for the turn. But that's cool, though, like that. It is cool. That's pretty cool. I know it's cool. It's so cool. So that's actually a good thing you did that. So it's so. OK, it's Alfa Rogers turn. He's still standing in that fire as at the beginning or end of his turn. He's got to let me read. I think it's and if he OK, if he ends his turn there. OK, well, that's good because he's going to get ready and run straight at Zozo.

And that means everybody gets an opportunity attack. Do it, baby. There's also the booming blade. There is the booming blade. That's true. I'm just going to roll up and do that damage first as soon as I remember where it is. This band. That was a critical. Hold on. We're flanking, so that would be advantage, does that? Does that well, yeah, well, I think that does make it a flat roll. It might be if the attack happens before he leaves. Yes, so well, yes. So here's what we'll do. Mandy, just flip a coin heads. We're going to take the higher role. Tails will take the crit one.

So one is heads to his tails. I don't remember what the options were, but I'm going to flip it. You're good. You're fine. Yes. So let's see what was what was the highest role eight? Never mind. You're not going to hit, but you're not going to fail either. So who? Crib, you're going to have it. Not all my though. No, the booming blade hit. I haven't rolled an attack yet. Yeah. Oh, shit. Eleven damage. Oh, so you gave him a little stabby stab on the way out. Yeah. The process of moving did him 13 damage and I'm going to take a swing. Oh, shit. OK, yes. So booming blade about and then the mall.

Twelve. OK, that's going to miss. But you did do booming blade damage. That's fine. Did you add a plus two for the allies in combat? I did not add a plus two. Does it? That will hit. Fourteen will hit. Whoo. Good, good, good memory. What a guy. Because Roger might fuck you up in a second. So the quicker we do this, another eight damage, eight damage. Oh, my God. So Roger's taken some lumps like he is bleeding from that stump and he's like he's taken his lumps and he's trying not to show it like he's trying to like like he's like he'll keep flexing. But like everyone's like, oh, like just like a little bit.

He'll be the first one to cry. Sorry, I just there's like so many awful things like I got to tread the line where it's like, OK, too far. I got to reel it back in. So, oh, oh, I got a mandy meter. Yeah, I yeah, I just. So Alpha Roger is going to wander right up to to Zozo like charge and he's going to try and swing twice with the with the club and he's going to say, you weren't even dragon man enough to run this party, bro. Yeah, he went there. He says the things that we're not brave enough to say. That's what that's what it is. That's what it is. We were friends.

I was willing to like not mention the things you say on your podcast, man. When we hang out, that's fun. I don't think I don't think I can be friends with you anymore, Roger. It's over. OK, attack. Boom. Twenty two. Now we got to be a real you. Thank you. So I roll a D 20. On a four. Oh, it's it's me. Oh, no. He was right. Smell the beta on you. That's what it was like. He wafted. Who? 13 damage. OK. I mean, that's a lot for Crandys. Oh, that is. Yeah, that's a lot. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, here's another attack. Here comes. Oh, one to nine. All right. Let's see. Seven. OK, I need six or more.

So seven. Jesus duplicate. And yeah, it vanishes because there is he is 13. OK, so. OK, so he's going to use another layer action. And he's going to try and fling Zozo. So I'm not exactly sure how this works with mirror image, but he's going to try and grab at you. Yeah. And you're going to have to. Yeah, it's a deck save. So OK, so it would work. It works. My thing only works for like attacks that deal damage. That seems foolish. Yeah. You know what? Yeah. How about the whole thing? Give me give me a deck save with advantage, but you need a 17 or higher. OK, sure.

I think that's a fair like very, very fair. Save advantage. Nineteen. Yeah, that would have done a lot of damage. You don't want that. OK, that's the end of his turn. And thank you, Riff Baby. Bobola, you're up. All right. So just under me with that purple space, is anything happening with that? That's a booming blade. I don't know if that I don't think it's gone. It's gone. It ended when he moved. Oh, cool. What about the bonfire? Is that concentration? Oh, yeah. That's concentration. That's the Constitution. I don't know if that was just concentration or just fire now.

Same through normal. No. OK, goodbye. OK, well, he's out of it anyway. It's all fine. It's fair. Yeah. So now there's nothing on the ground. Crib, you're good. Crib is going to step down and he's going to just try to make another series of two quick attacks with his pike coming down at slightly different angles for the first one. Advantage. Ye. Oh, 17 hits. All right. But now, right before he hits, it's going to bold once and then bold again for level two. Now you're going to italicize his ass. Exactly. Really? Yeah, that's going to be what? Three D8. Oh, man. That's an underline if I've ever seen it.

Yeah. 15 demo. An additional 15 to what I roll here. Oh, three. Three. Well, that's minimum damage, but that's what I did that. Then the second attack coming from the opposite side. The one horizontal slash one way and then just turns around and tries to come back. Sure. Another advantage. Oh, 22 will hit. That's nice. Another double bold. Because why not? I'm using everything that I got. Dude, empty. Just empty the chamber. Just everything. Oh, 15 damage. And then just another normal damage. Hopefully not a three. It's not a three. Oh, it is not a three. Ten damage.

Rogers fucked up. Like he's like he's like his eyes all swollen and he's like his horns hanging off and shit. And that unless I'm mistaken, brings up clover. Wouldn't it be poetic? Finish him. Yes. OK, so yeah, she's she's mostly confused and sad and just like, wait, it's a goat. Does that mean it's well, wait, it looks different. And also he's saying things that kind of make sense, but don't because they're really mean. I don't care what's going on. And so she's just going to fling her fists towards Alpha Roger. And because she's so emotionally charged, she's going to put more fervor into it.

So she's going to add two points. Let's see, for her point. She's going to add three points to this. And you especially. Yeah, fuck you a lot. But I have disadvantage. So we'll see. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Before you do this, I was just going to say, if you got one step closer, it would cancel out. Oh, would it? Oh, OK. Yeah. Whoops. Come come closer to crib. Come closer. Cuddle up. Yeah. Just going to. Yeah. OK. Should I roll again? I don't know. Yeah, because it's just yeah. Just roll once without disadvantage because it's yeah. It's normal. Oh, man, that is going to miss.

She's going to do it again. Just going to just like she's like so just like and she's also going to do it. Yeah. Three points into it. That'll tap you out. But if you don't have her out, there we go. Oh, wait. Oh, that's like a twenty four. But yeah, it hits. That's the important thing. It is. Yeah. It's yeah. Let's see. Force damage. OK. So she's going to do this, but then because I add three points, it adds another 3D8, right? Yeah. Oh, baby. This one. Do it. It's time. Eleven damage. That will kill Alpha Roger. He had four hit points left. So as you can see, he's going to do it again.

He's going to do it again. As he as he goes down, he. This contest was rigged. I want a recount. He's going to die. Recount that. Oh, God. I'm so sad. Can I make it clear that we as soon as he's the first thing spouted out of his mouth, we disowned him. Is that to say two seconds? Just keep kicking him in the ribs while he's. He started with your buddy was younger. He seems so innocent. Whatever happened, poor man. You hate to see it like when you have that old friend. Like yeah. Yeah. It's like he kept spitting out statistics, but never cited a source. So I think he was just making up percentages all the time.

It's weird. Yeah. He didn't seem that bad when we were teenagers. If any of those Roger jokes offended you because you kind of think that way. Good. I. Maybe if you're once just snowflake, they wouldn't offend you. Oh, wow. I'm not saying so. I didn't even get to work in snowflake. I know. I had a bunch of Bud Light jokes. It was going to be great anyway. So that was one of the weirdest episodes we ever put out. Again, I really hope you folks enjoyed it. And again, you can always swing on over to our discord server and let us know there's episode discussions along with a whole bunch of other channels.

We're currently doing a lot of extra Warhammer content just to hang out and stream and stuff. And we'd love to see you there. And of course we will be going to Dragon Con for Labor Day. We'd love to see each and every one of you there that can make it. Obviously it's a big expensive trip. If you'd like to support the show, you can swing on over to patreon.com/danDR. There you can support us monthly. You can get a bunch of extra content or you could just toss us a buck or five as a single donation and you never have to worry about it again. Thank you all so much.

I hope you have a fantastic week and we'll see you next time.