The Dark Urge

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

(glass clinking) - Pickaxe. - When it comes to music, everyone has a totally unique taste. So when a song comes on that perfectly fits your mood, it kind of feels like magic. And at Credit Karma, we do the same thing, but for your finances. We got tired of the financial system, giving broad, impersonal, and irrelevant advice to everybody. So we created a way for you to cut through the noise and find offers and recommendations that make sense for your specific money goals. So you know the guidance you're getting is truly custom to you. Download into a Credit Karma today and get everything you need to outsmart the system.

- There's no better feeling than a personal win. And the State Farm Personal Price Plan can help you do just that. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. - Oh, let's do that thing! We're going around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master, going around the table, starting with Xavier.

- Hello, it's Xavier and I play Zozo, the God's perfect killing machine. - Suck it. - And right now, that's my line. - No, it's in the behind the scenes, you'll get it there. And Ryan Garner. - Hello everyone, my name's Ryan. I play Criv, the Dragonborn Paladin. And I'm looking at a cheap margarita right now, Mix. - Ooh. - And it's looking good. - Delicious. - That's either a country song or a cry for help, but we're gonna, you know. - Yeah. - And Mandy. - Hi guys, this is Mandy and I play Clover, the red Dragonborn endurance. - Well, it's kinda less. - I said, this is a white city.

And that would sound terrible if you don't listen to the behind the scenes. (all laughing) - Plaster, plaster, it's just plaster. - It's not plaster, guys, it's plaster and serial killers. I swear to God it is. - And Marvel. - And the World's Fair. And last and certainly not least, the most educated among us, Ryan Heywood. - Hello everybody, I'm your World's Fair, Ryan Heywood. And tonight. - Ooh. - That's right, baby. Tonight, I'll be playing Olmo, the fighter/bard. - Wait, that's it? I thought you were like, nevermind. - There's nothing else to me. - Oh, okay.

- Wow. - I wish I had the pure gonads to call myself your World's Fair. - Right. - Man. - Ooh, it tingles. - You don't whisper that into Elle's ear every night? Is that? - Do it. - It's variations of, hey, I'm so sorry. Like just, you know what I mean? Just variations of that. - That's most sad, Jason. - I know, but like. - Oh man. - I don't even say why, it's like, you know. It's just like, just all of it. I'm so sorry. - Oh, that made me tear up. - I haven't even been drinking. I don't know what this is. So guys, Mandy's done a bunch of stuff and some of that's gonna catch up with you tonight.

- Bunch of stuff? - You did a bunch of stuff. Let's recap. That's the sound of me opening my Trapper Keeper. That's how in-depth this is. - Trapper Keeper. - It's gorgeous. I love it. - Oh God, I am back in high school. - That is 80. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, look at all the little shapes. It's so good. - I had that on my look. - I think we all did. - I might have had a shirt that looked like that. - Bright colors. - This was sitting alone, unloved on a Walmart clearance rack. And I, oh. - That Trapper Keeper says to me, I watched Kitten Plays House Party in theaters.

- I did. I did. You know they made a remake of House Party? - They did House Party 2. Is that what you're talking about? - They were featured with a theme song. Tony, Tony, Tony. - Why? - Oh really? - No. - Why does a remake, like a 2022 remake or something? Like it's weird. - Why? - I don't know. - You know what, apparently the audience asked the same question. - Yeah. - The audience is gonna need a reference. - Who played kid and or play? - Maybe they played the crazy uncles or the people who live next door that said, would you keep that music down? Honestly, that would have been great.

- Oh man. - Anyway. - What man do you do? - What man do you do? - Oh man. - Pushed buttons. - You did a thing, it just, you know, dominoed. - So. - From one tiny domino to a huge domino. - Well, let's start off with what went well. Because there's a big old check mark. Things could have devolved into a big old fight with a multi faced frost giant, right? And not only did you deescalate the situation, you made it someone else's problem, which is a pact bound staple. - Add a new recipe. - However, you did reach, you are, I would say, the first group of the four that set out to do a thing and you are on the verge of doing that thing, completing the mission.

Well, now hold on. We haven't done the thing yet. You're next to the thing. And then you went and touched the thing. - Yeah. - Suck it. - The first one to be on the verge of. - Which is good. - Yes. - We'll take it. - Which if we're talking about, if we're talking about the pie chart of DNR, invasion records every six months or so, and you guys were recording nearly every week for a while. So like you have everybody to, you know. - It doesn't matter where, no. - We're one team. - We're talking to today's big DNR team. - We are absolutely one big DNR team. They've had a shitty year.

There's like multiple COVIDs. (laughs) - Oh no. - Just ripped through the cast. - Well now. - Is it? - Yikes. - Yeah. - We don't like that. - I'm not saying Mandy did it. I'm saying that the timing's weird. That's all. So also. - You're there. (laughs) - Also Mandy drew a few cards that. - Those are fine. - Those are fine. Those are doing great. So here's the thing. This staff has been sitting up on this mountain for years of the show. And what it was doing was allowing the Black Hand to influence a ruthomar. Which is a big inspirational dragon. Some people's lover maybe potentially.

I don't know if we get to do the romance arc that I've been pushing for. - Great boobs. (laughs) - Send your fan art to D&D. - Yes please. - Happening. (laughs) But your job is to perform a ritual that is going to essentially end with this thing being destroyed. But you can't just go, you know, breaking it over your knee. Obviously there's powerful magics. Also, what you probably don't want to do is go touching the damn thing. Which is what happened at the end of last episode. So what we're going to do is we're going to pick up right when this happens. - So we have a wonky beam in the sky that's now built, right?

- Yeah, it's a real, it's a problem. So here's what we're going to do. First of all, it's gorgeous. I want to make sure that you guys can see the map. Everything's visible. - Yep. - It's the light flashing every now and then. - Yes, so. - Oh yeah. - Oh, I like colors. - Roar, roar, roar. - Yeah. - Man, if it looks like that. - Steve M's. - Clover thinks she did good. She's like, look at that, that's so cool. - Okay. - Yeah, so instantly, like, okay. To the rest of the group, there's never been such a clear correlation of cause and effect. Like Clover did a thing, thus X happens.

You know what I mean? Like instantly, the beam is coming from the staff into the sky, lightning is going to start peeling. And there are essentially this big bubble of colors, the shield of stuff going on. And it looks like the sky itself, the air around you has become unstable. What would everyone's reaction be to that? - I mean, Kriv and Zozo were further back and that kind of like happened over there. So as they walked. - I want to go get Zozo the snowman. - Yeah, old snowzo. And as they were walking back, I guess like we both see her at the same time.

And Zozo just like backhands you on the shoulder. I'm like, oh my God, she just touched it. (laughing) - Before we go any further, I got to show you guys something. Hold on, hold on. You're gonna, oh yeah, you're gonna like it. - I'm gonna freak out. - Did we get an artist? - Thanks to M, we are gonna have a new t-shirt. (gasps) - M! - MVP! (laughing) - I like that. We need to get them a shirt that says that. (laughing) Where is it? - I'm posting it. - Oh yeah, but what a scene. - I had to reopen. - So while he's looking for that, I imagine Omo had been looking down the side of the cliff and you found it, good, okay.

- I'm sorry. - It's amazing. - I want that. - This is art. - Glorious. - It was glorious. That's a perfect Christmas shirt. - It is. - Can we get it as a sweater? - Sweater! - Maybe you can get it as a sweater, hoodie, for those of you who don't like long sleeves, t-shirts. It's available in everything currently on our store right now. - Oh! - Or it will be when it's out. - Okay, so right now for you, but not for me. - Yes, exactly. - But you will be out for me. - Tomorrow. - Let us know when it is live. - I got you. - And there will be another purchase. - Let's try to get it before Christmas.

- Thanks Sam, we love you. - Thank you, Em. - Thank you, Em. - So sorry. - I love it so much. - This is exactly what I had in mind. (laughing) - So back to the danger. - Yes. - Elmo was looking down the side of the cliff, making sure Manny faces their friend was not coming back up at any point in time. And then there's maybe just this little booping noise and the color shift of the world happened. - Yeah. - And so the guys, Criven, Zozo turn around and they're looking, Nomo turns around and looks and we're all looking at Clover and the staff. - Clover's just looking up like, whoa, I kind of get why he really liked this thing.

Look at that, guys. Just, she doesn't remember what this is. She's just like, ah, this is great. Wow, it's better than the fireworks I made with the cards. Can we come find them? - Hey, hey cousin, come here a second. It looks cooler from over here. - Oh, okay. Just what, what? It goes close to him. - Oh, sure. - No. (laughing) - Why the coyotes all the way down, yeah. - Yeah. - I imagine Criven, Zozo, like. - Oh, we're running up there. - So it was kind of like trying to find in his pack, like she, like parchment notes for the ritual that they got Numenero, like, oh shit, where is it?

Where is it? - You probably figured it's like, hey man, we can get a good night's sleep, tackle this in the morning. Like that type of thing, you know? - So. - So, okay. - Clover is pulling back away from the situation, right? At this point in time, like she's not right there. - Okay. Then I think Criv would just kind of run up to the group and like get that like fatherly disciplinary look of like, we'll handle this later. And then just turn and like look towards the giant beam in the sky that's causing the Aurora thing. - Steamed hams. (laughing) - Steamed hams?

- Yes. - Mandy, you gotta know about steamed hams. - And the-- - Aurora Borealis, like you don't like, oh my God, how? - We'll let you know after the show. - Okay. - Send Mandy every link, guys. You know what I'm talking about. - Every variation, every lo-fi remix. - Yeah, everything. - You guys are weird. - No, we're not, you're weird. - Well, hold on a second. - We are weird, but not about this. - Yeah, no, this one, we're in the majority. You're weird on this one. All right, so we have a problem, obviously. Who among you is trained in Arcana? - Trained, I mean, does fake it till you make it count?

Well-- - Jote. Jack of all trades. - Oh, okay, so you're like half trained. Okay, so Zozo had a vested interest in this from the beginning, like this is Zozo's time to shine, right? It's breaking a ruthenmar free. This is it, right? This is everything you've ever wanted. - That's true. - And you can seize it in one moment. Mom's spaghetti. So let's, okay, give me an Arcana check, please. So this is you walking up and assessing the situation, right? - Yeah. Unfortunately for my Arcana. He's minus one. - So eight. - Oh, you got a roll streak. Ooh. - Two, okay. - So you walking up and there's a bunch of colors, like there's your problem right there.

Like you just, you know, you got colors. So I would, okay, with an eight, you're not gonna get a very detailed, you know, an answer's not gonna spring. One, you know something's wrong. This shouldn't be happening. In, you know, in the ritual and stuff like that, it's like, oh, okay, the air is real thick and crispy and there's colors and that is not in my documents. So I don't think it would be crazy for you to know that this is a dangerous situation and volatile. - Yeah. So those first instinct, like he's flustered. So that eight was that, he's like, there's your problem.

It's gonna be, the magic is loose. There's too much magic. I gotta do something about it. It's gonna reach out a hand and he's gonna try to suck up some of the magic or dispel it and he's gonna just reflexively cast dispel magic at it. - Oh, that should do it. Yeah. That's a save, right? - If, yeah, if it's above level three, yeah. - Yeah, let's go with yes. - The effect. - I'll give you a good description. - Hit me. - For each spell of fourth level or higher, no, okay. Any spell of third level or lower ends for each spell of fourth level or higher on the target, I make an ability check using my spell casting ability.

DC equals 10 plus to spell's level. Okay, very high spell DC. - So here's the thing. If you roll a 17 or higher right now, we can pack this portion up a bit early. Like you will do a great deal in getting this under control. - Okay. - Hit me. - All right, charisma check. Ability check. Normal. - Can I give you Bardic Inspiration? - Yes. - You could have, wouldn't have done it. - That's a nine, so even a max roll. - With the save, you get an additional three. - It's not a save. - No, it's a check, yeah. - Wait, what's your Bardic Inspiration? Is it eight? - Is it 10?

- No, if only. It's a six. - Oh, okay. - It's an eight, and I rolled an eight. Yeah, yeah, right. - Yeah, no, if it were thicker, then maybe. But it's cold. Yeah, so. - I mean, I could try to argue for my living under a shadow thing, like about being the best. If it's not, it's not, it's for a saving throw. Can't even do that. Can't even do that. Can't even try. - So what's the output? Like you put your hand out and nothing happens. Do we see something and then it fizzes out or like, what's the effect of that? - For Zozo specifically, I picture that when he uses it, he takes in the magical energy and kind of like, again, those like black wispy fumes that kind of like get absorbed in him.

He's feeding something. He's feeding something. But right now it doesn't connect. It doesn't even like reach the staff. - So what level did you cast your Dispel Magic at? - My spell level are level three. Had this level. - So this thing, for you to just walk up and kind of snuff it out like a candle, probably above your pay grade, you're gonna have to work together on this. What I will do is because of the attempt, I'm gonna give you some information. You're not gonna be able, like you connecting with this. You're gonna feel it's like, okay, this is pretty damn strong.

Now, the ritual notes you have is, this whole spell is about control, right? Which means it's meant to do a very specific function. And this being messed with, you, this could be calling Erythimar here. This could be, there's a dozen things it could be doing and none of it's good, right? Erythimar could be freaking out right now and just shooting acid over the nearest city. Like, who knows? But this has to be gotten rid of. Now, if you toss magic at this thing at a high enough level and get through, you can actually do damage to it. If you fail, you can empower it.

So this is, anyone with any magic power that would like to step up and we can take turns here. It's basically a skill check challenge time. (chuckles) - Yeah. I mean, all of us kind of can. - So, Ulmo will walk up to you and say, hey, can I look at that real quick? The sheet with the ritual on it. - Yeah. - And he looks at that and he tries to decipher that into the only way that he understands magic is music. And he tries to figure out like the rifts and he's like, okay, no, that's more of a G, okay. All right, let's try this. And he tries hitting a magical riff at it to see if he deciphered the ritual well enough in the form of music.

- Give me a performance check, baby. - I would love to do that. - Oh my God, that modifier is doing a lot of heavy lifting. - It sure is. - And a four on the die, it came out to a 16. - So that is gonna make an impact. You're gonna see like, you're gonna see that light bend just a bit as your music is coming in contact with it. So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna do a little skill check challenge and we are going to go down the line and anybody with any magic attack that they want to throw at this can. And what we're looking for is seven successes before four failures.

- Okay. - And this is gonna get difficult at a certain point. - Yeah, I mean. - So what this is doing is essentially it's creating like a cascading event. So this is going to warp that beam and it's almost like a Ghostbusters trap type thing. You can see this thing bend and the energy kind of conflict and you can actually see damage being done to the staff itself. Like it trying to channel all this power is causing it, the gems specifically to start to crack. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna kick off with that and I'm gonna count that as one success right off the bat.

So you need six more before four failures. Mandy, you're up. - Okay, well, whoever sees what the allmighty goes doing and with his cool magic, he's like, you did something to it. We can do that and just like, I guess just like, I can do sparkles at it and just boom, I'm just gonna do a focus blast, right? - Give me the tech. So we're just looking, we're just looking for 13 or higher. That's it. - Okay. Whoops, I didn't mean advantage, I didn't mean that. Both were 12 and 11. - Okay, that's fine. Yeah, that's another success. So this is starting off really well.

And the further you get into this, the more violent those lightning strikes are gonna become. The more like this is win, lose or draw, this ends tonight. You can feel it, right? This is just, hopefully it doesn't end with the destruction of this mountain top and all of you and yeah. But Mr. Garner, do you wanna take a shot at this? - So I have a question, Jason. - If I do something that is gonna bring more damage and not like for example, if I'm gonna go do a second level smite, is that something that can count for more than one success on this too, because I'm trying to put in more damage behind one swing?

And if so, is it also a double-edged blade that if I whiff, is that gonna be two failures? So I'm just trying to understand the- - Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. I like where your head's at. And I think you've played with me long enough to know the answer in your heart. But yeah, I will take that wager right now. Like let's go, put it all in black, let's go. (gentle music) - Okay. For right now, I'm just gonna start with a level one. I'm not gonna upgrade to level two just yet. - Right, so you're walking up, you're infusing this strike, you're doing what you love.

You gotta declare it beforehand though. - Oh, I'm gonna declare it next time. I just don't wanna do it now. - He's just getting a little pokey-pokey. - Warm yourself. - So I'm doing a level one right now to get some magic energy behind my strike. And then if everything's going well, next time will become the level two for a little bit more risk. - All right, well, we're looking for 15 or higher. So with your attack, all you gotta do is get a 15. - Oh yeah, it's getting harder, right? - Oh yeah, yeah, no, it's not gonna stay, yeah. - Can we flank it? (laughing) - Just bully the staff, push it.

- Can I add a sneak attack? - 15, but then... - That, yeah, that's a nine. So that is our first failure. It's a good thing you didn't put a level two spell behind that, baby. - Yeah, okay. - So that is gonna be the first one where you take a swipe at this and it's gonna glance off and you're going to see where you are trying to hit it. That energy is going to arc off your blade and strike a tree and just kind of, just that tree goes down, sliding down the side of the mountain cascading. - I might be able to do a thing with that. - Oh, with the tree? - Yeah, you'd be surprised.

- Small canoe. - Okay. - Bear in mind, all right, there's a reaction that I have. - Okay. - My tattoo, if you agree with this, can flare up and the damage that the tree would have taken rebounds and hits the staff instead. I can read you the wording of it if you prefer. - Well, here's... - To see if that even sounds feasible. - Specifically, okay, give me the wording and then we'll see from there. - Okay, this is probably where I'm full of nonsense. I'll let you decide. - Here's the thing, I'll edit this out. You'll sound like a genius. - I'm a genius. - I'm gonna hold you to that.

- When you were a creature, you can see within 30 feet of you is hit by an attack roll. You can use your reaction to choose a different creature other than the attacker with it, 30 other than the attacker, within 30 feet of you to become the target of the attack instead of using the same roll. So literally every aspect of that wording says that doesn't work, so. - Yeah, no, you can make it hit another tree. - I never liked that one in specific. - Yeah, no, no, no, that one. - Under real buddy. - Yeah, you're gonna... So where your blade deflects off, you can see that there's energy kind of funneling out of that now.

So it's getting less directed and more erratic. So again, like that's very dangerous. So it's looking very disco-y up in here right now. - I have another question. - Okay. - Does our fire breath count as- - I am available for birthday parties. That's a good question. - Does our fire breath count as magic? - It's more inherent. It's just part, evolutionarily speaking. - I thought it was like kind of writing that line. So I wanted a little bit of clarification with that. - I mean, it's magic in that it's a beautiful thing. Like, you know what I mean? Like, the cobalt is gonna, but yeah.

You know what I mean? Like. - Yeah, okay, I see that. - Xavier, you're up. - I got two questions. Well, one question and two parts. I got spells I'm trying to pick in between. I could do the big old fireball again. That's a DC. I don't have an attack roll for that. And it's very powerful in one burst. Or I got scorching ray. Gives me four rays at 2D6 each. Is that four chances of successes and/or failures? - Ah, technically it's four. So, oh yeah, 'cause you don't have to have different targets. My favorite thing in the world is handing the arithmetic problem to a group and then watching the group back harder and steal to like get around.

So I, okay, here's the thing. Yes, I would count that as four separate attempts. Now, the cool thing is you get four separate attempts in one clip. But if you succeed on the first one, that check goes up each time and it counts as four separate attempts. - That's true. And how do you resolve the ones that would be a DC? Like that the staff would need to save for a reflex? Do I need to do a different action? - Yeah, it's the same as, oh, the number to be, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. - But you gotta do the, if you do the searing bolts though, that's gotta be done in a cool anime fashion.

- Oh yeah, I got it lined up, baby. - Throw your hand out. - I'm ready. - I think I didn't think about it. Yeah, I'm gonna do scorching ray. And yeah, because of like the emergency of the situation, he's gonna do a full on Dragon Ball Z, just like both hands open, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, like a barrage of like those big blasts with a big sphere around the hand. And there's just like straight line on the hand. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. - Oh, okay. I love it. So here's what we're gonna do. I like your chutzpah. Because I like your chutzpah, we're gonna give a plus one to whatever you roll.

- Okay. - I should have spent my turn casting bless. - Bless, yeah. We're giving out some bardic inspirations. We got time. - Yeah, I sure did. - We got time. - But I didn't. - So first one needs to be 15 or higher. We're still looking for that 15. Here we go. - All right, attack. Gonna add my situational bonus, one. - Normal. - Ooh. - 24, beautiful. That is another success. Three successes, one failure. Okay, I need a 17 or higher. Give it to me. - Here we go. - Ooh. - Ooh, that is an 11. That's okay. - We were. - Three successes, two failures. - How many failures? We don't, we have to not.

- We get two more failures. - Okay. - We're done. - Yeah. - So you're gonna strike, the crystal's gonna crack. Everything looks good. The second one is gonna glance off and another one of the, it's like the crystal's leaking magic now. It's less focused. So this is magic 101. When you have a casting implement, when you're focusing magical energy through something, what you want is a flawless crystal. You're looking for something that is a good channeler of magic. A broken wand is something very dangerous. So the fact that there is this much, you know, magical power being channeled through this and it's getting more and more erratic, that's crazy dangerous.

So we're looking for 17. Give me another one. - Okay. - Oh my God, 25. That's another success, four to two. - Okay, and the last one. - Here we go, baby. - Here we go, baby. We're looking for 19, 20. That's five and two. - Wow. - So we're at two for each side. - Yep. - Mr. Haywood, you're up. - Hello, okay. - It's 21 now. - My next turn, I'm just gonna cast bless. Just gonna boost someone else. - Well, we'll see if you get a next turn. - Well, you can do it. - I too will cast scorching rain. - I too will. I think Elmo, if possible, really felt like he kind of had an angle with trying to turn the ritual into like music.

And he would like to continue trying to work on that. - Okay. - Is that something that would work? I could keep trying to work on that performance? - I, yeah, I would even say... So this is you just like continuing to rock out, like you're kind of taking cues from the magic happening, right? Yeah, okay. So I would even give you a plus two to that. - I like the way, I like that very much. - Good, and that's a big, hefty, girthy modifier. So like you already have a plus 12? - Yes. - Jesus, God. - That will only make everyone's inevitable disappointment. (laughing) - No, man, I play with you a lot.

You're never gonna, oh, so, okay, that's a 20. We were shooting for 21. I'm sorry. So that's our third failure. - Where's that bliss? - Right, so what I'm gonna do right now though, he doesn't quite get it there, but what he is able to do is give a Bardic Inspiration to Clover as a part of that. - Okay, am I next? - You're next, and we're shooting for 21, whatever you throw at it. - And if this fails, that's it. - Okay. - Is this fitting? - Yeah, yeah. So Clover, like seeing, like she's been kind of thinking, oh, this is fun, look at all the lights and stuff.

And then it's kind of like getting more like cracked and things are getting more like shooting off. And she's like, uh-oh, I think this is actually a bad thing. And so she's like, uh, and so she's going to run up to it 'cause it looks like it's gonna explode probably 'cause with three failures. So she's going to, you know, like when you see martial arts movies, they go and they grab the thing and then they, oh, like in Marvel, they grab it and then rush it into the ground and just go like boom, boom, boom. - Big earth. - Yeah. - She wants to do that as she's channeling three forever points into it and just go.

- Oh shit. Okay, so this is you. Okay, so at first, this seems like a fun night at the club, right? It's like, man, there's cool lights. It's really cold, I don't like that. But you know, everyone seems real happy. We've reached the thing. And then all of a sudden someone just starts firing a gun. Like a tree goes down, you're like, oh shit. You're seeing these bolts of magic peel off and it's like, oh wait, like that's not great. So you are running toward the staff itself. You're going to try and grasp the staff and just smash it into the ground. Like the, I'm imagining like grabbing it by the gem itself.

- Probably the crystal itself, yeah. - Yeah, okay. - Pushing into the ground, be like, no, no, no, no, no. And just like channeling all, and she's just slamming it into the ground. - So I'm guessing what this, the rest of your fervor points, right? - Well, I have six, I could do six. Do you want me to do six? - You know what, here's what I'm going to do. If you throw everything you have into it, if this succeeds, it counts for the rest of the successes you need. - Yes, she will use every single one. - If it doesn't succeed, we have problems. - Maybe a little bonus too, 'cause it's all the points.

A little bonus on attack. - I'm, what attack were you using? - A force punch just to, or just to fucking punch it into the ground, just like, nope, nope. - So you have bardic inspiration. I'm willing to give you a plus three just for the balls. I like it. - Yeah, I like it too. - Whew, okay, okay. - Ready? Now we're shooting, so shooting for 21. - Okay, this is, I'm just doing it from the thing, so this isn't with the plus three. - Nope. - Normal. - Oh no. - 11. - Oh no. - Okay, even with the plus three, that's 14. That's, it's not gonna, okay. So this is interesting, so okay.

You are going to grab this, this, so you have basically, it looks like Freddie Mercury holding a microphone, right? The mic stand is way down here, and like you are going to just smash this into the ground. And energy is going to peel off of you because you're putting all of your fervor into this, and it's not quite gonna break clean. Like the object was to powder this thing, right? Nullify that magic, and what's gonna happen instead is it's going to crack and get to critical mass. I need everybody to give me a constitution saving throw, and Mandy, I need you to give me one with disadvantage.

(soft music) - Now, everyone except Clover will get an additional, I don't know where it is anymore, a plus four. - Why except Clover? - Clover's out of my range. - Yeah. - It's what, out of range? - I'm probably out of range. - I mean, how far are you? You just swung at the thing. - Oh, I wouldn't dragging it. I would just like grab it, and it just like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, boom, boom." - Like it felt like a, like Captain America jumping on a grenade type of thing. That's what it felt like, so we're gonna go with that. - I'm okay with that. - So I guess it would be me and Clover gets a bonus of plus, double checking it.

- Yeah, choose two. - Plus three. - That's good. - All right, I guess it's not to prove a point, so I'll just do a normal. - So this isn't about if magic is going to hit you. This is can you withstand it? - Yeah. - And the DC's 17. - Oh boy. - Okay, at a count of three. - I have something that I wanna do as Criv, as this is happening. - What do you wanna do? - Would I be able to take on the disadvantage if I go and essentially tackle Clover and put myself in between it? Like, does it look like there's something where I can take the bullet? - So the moment as it's described, is Clover running up and grabbing this thing?

- Oh, and Criv's right there next to her, 'cause he was there. - Yeah. I think that would have had to have been declared beforehand, 'cause the entire risk reward thing is Clover. This is Clover's moment to sink or swim. So like, yeah. - Yeah, it basically explodes when she hits it on the ground. - That's fair. - Like instead of it hitting the ground, smash its powder. It's crack, quarter second, boom. Like this is like a grenade going off. - Yeah. - Okay, constitution saving throw, normal. - Yep. - Here we go. And, oh boy. - Situational bonus three. - Oh man. Okay.

Oh, so this makes sense. - Clover, you still have your Bardic Inspiration. - Oh, there's a change you can say. - That's true. - Do it. - A D six. - Six, yeah. - And you also get an additional plus three, 'cause I'm next to you. - Okay. Oh Jesus. So Kriv's gonna eat shit on this one. - Yeah. - Okay. So everyone else, oh boy. So just before you describe, Kriv, your aura gives everybody resistance to magical damage. - That is true. - So whoever is in your aura, so I guess you decided it was you and Clover? - Yeah. - Yeah. - So you were close. - So if it's magic and not overpowering magic and it works, I'm just letting Jason know.

- So here's the thing, we're gonna, - Boy. - Okay, we're gonna talk about this. So, this spell was meant to be influencing. It's meant to be here for potentially decades. The Black Hand was using it as a panic button for Brightport, but this thing was meant to stand the test of time. And instead of it being here, think of it like a battery. Instead of this thing discharging slowly over the course of years into decades, it's all at once in an instant, right? So not just that, the magic that's been pumped into this thing is going to kind of tank the well a bit.

So this thing is going to hit the ground and imagine a shockwave of snow and ice just being obliterated, partially melted, like a 25 foot radius outward, and then just blowing out. Like whoever's standing back a ways away from this is just gonna get pelted with ice and snow. And like, it's mostly going to be, it's mostly going to be like visually tough. It's not so much like being, you know, like it's mostly like sleet, not huge ice daggers coming at you. But kind of planning your feet and leaning your shoulders into this, most of you are gonna be fine.

Clover is going to get knocked back clean, like we're talking a good 15, 20 feet into the air, cartwheeling and landing on your back. Like the, you know, the force of this is absolutely undeniable. No matter what your save is, you're falling down at the very least, you're getting pushed around. The magic portion of this is where we have a problem. The original intent of the spell was to have a Ruthimar come and attack Brightport. It was meant to empower her. It was meant to, if I can't have the city, no one can type of thing. This magic is going to absolutely irradiate Kriv.

It is going to taint and change Kriv until he kind of turns into this amorphous blob of part dragon, born part dragon. And he is going to attack the party. He is absolutely going to unleash and try to kill everything in the vicinity. - Roar motherfuckers. I didn't see that coming. I thought I was dead. - No, this thing is, so, I'm going to give everyone one chance to give me an Arcana check. This is a high one. - Good thing I have minus one. Hey, zero. - 14, jeez, zero buddy. I'm sorry, the shock of it's got to be pretty fucked up. - Tetsu over here. Oh boy, so imagine as this, like this shockwave comes out, the magic and snow and stuff, the effect overhead is going to stop, right?

And the stillness is going to start to settle in as this powder comes down. And you're going to watch as these horribly deformed wings erupt out of Crib's back. And he's going to hunch over and like triple in size, but it's all, this was never meant to be, you know, channeled through a dragonborn. That this, like your bodies are not meant to handle this, right? Alma with a 14, your best guess is that this is temporary, but you don't know how temporary. Is it a few minutes? Is it a year? Can you get Crib back? But you do know he means you, he means you harm.

And what's cool about the situation is, Ryan, I'm going to give you control of your character with the sole intent to crush the rest of the party. - Oh goody. - Unless you'd like me to do it. - I can do it. - Okay. - It's a deformed Crib, so I can do it. - Yeah. - That's what Ryan wanted all along. Give it to him. - I'm going to target Zozo, that motherfucker. - Oh yeah. - Oh, the rematch. - The rematch. - Oh, would that be? - Zozo looking a little yellow down there. - That's good. Here, I'll set things up. Go ahead and roll initiative and then it's okay. Ryan, roll initiative.

- All righty. - Okay. - Clover with an 18, Zozo with 12, mutant shadow Crib with an eight and Alma with a six. Let's begin combat. - All right. Well, Clover is like going to get up first just because she got spit clean across the mountain, just like, oh, and then gets up and sees what is happening to Crib. She's like, uncle, uncle, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. And just is like, oh, and then I guess he's coming at us. So she's just going to be like, ah, sparkle punch or sparkle blast towards him. And we don't have to say that this is definitely non-lethal, right?

- Non-lethal for fun. - Here's the thing. In his current state, if you outright killed him, you earned it. - Fair. All right. - You're hoping he gets control. This is nasty. Like this is the worst case scenario, right? But like, yes, of course you're trying to knock him out, not murder him. - Yeah. - Even though it's self-defense, no one would convict you. It's fine. - Focus. Whoops, I hit the wrong one. Sorry. Horse blast. - There you go. - Normal. - 19. Does that hit your AC, Ryan? - That does. - Okay. - What type of damage is this? - Force. - Okay. - Non-damage. - And then just gonna smack it again.

Oops. Second glitter bomb towards mutated uncle. - Do I? Oh, that probably doesn't make it. All right, he's big. - 14. - That does not. - No. Okay. - Nope. - That's, that's it. That's my turn. - Zozo, you are up. - Zozo's gonna see the scene unfold. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Grif, Grif, Grif, get a hold of yourself. Don't force our hands. And he's gonna run up to him. Away from the party. And much like with the big frost lizard, he's gonna try to grab his attention, Jurassic Park style. Come on, over here. And gonna use the dodge action. So I'm basically just like in the defensive position, just trying to like get Grif's attention, get him, get him back, try to help him focus.

Look, look at my fingers. How many? And here's the thing. Every dark urge that Grif has ever had, every, every horrible thought, every violent intent, even, even for a split second, it is magnified, amplified, right? To the nth power. - Even against Zozo? - Even against Zozo, yes. - If only you knew what was going on in there. - Like more animal than man at this point. Like, yeah. - That's so funny. - The artist formerly known as Criv. - All right. I'm gonna roll something just from my own understanding of, oh, okay. He's gonna do it. - Oh, I don't know what it is, but he rolled a crit.

At least it wasn't an attack, I guess. - So I have an additional type of breath that he can do. - Yeah, you do. - And someone just tried to gain his attention. And with a crit on that, - You roll for your breath? - That was what my qualifier is to go through that breath. - Okay. - So as you're going over there, you step over to the side, you're trying to gain his attention, snapping, waving your fingers type of thing, talking. He's gonna kind of like put his head upwards and then something from his mouth is gonna start to give out that pale blue light. And then he's just gonna recoil down and just spit out this shadow breath as Ozo.

- Shadow breath. I eat shadow breath for breakfast. What type of damage is it? - It is, let me pull that up. - I have your necrotic. - Awesome. Quick question with the referee. My dragon scale armor gives me a feature that gives me advantage on saves against the frightful presence and breath weapons of dragons. Is Griff considered a dragon? - I think close enough, right? - Okay. - I think close enough. And you already had the dodge action too. So like this is... - That's true. Okay, yeah, I guess I will have, yeah, okay. - Yeah. - I forgot about the dodge action already.

- I'm gonna tell you, this is nasty. I didn't wanna have to pull this out, take every advantage. - All right. - Ryan can see the numbers. - That's why I only did it at a crit. - 17. DC 18, right? - 18. - You gave up your aura still? - I don't think you're considered friendly at that point. - I think it's a different aura. - It's a different... - Shit. - Gave me that necrotic. All right, so we're just gonna go for the... - Yeah, it's the big... - Holy crap. - 65. - Okay. - But you have things to mitigate that, don't you? - I don't. - I thought the armor did something.

- Yeah, the armor, the movement. - It doesn't give you resistance? - Not to necrotic. - But I am a dragon, is that what it was? - No, the armor gives you advantage against your breath. - Oh, that's it? Oh shit. - Yeah, it gives me fire resistance, I got cold resistance, I got acid resistance, I don't got necrotic resistance. - Oh no. - Zozozo is just bathed in that, he kind of... I don't know if you remember the Warcraft 3 cinematic when Manoroth explodes and it just bathes Grom Hellscream and the camera is behind Grom and Grom just takes the fire and you see a silhouette and then he disappears in the blast and then he falls.

That's what happens with more shadow. - Oh, that's a good shot. I remember that. - That is gonna outright knock you out, like boom. 65 is enough, it's yeah. - I agree. - No more is what I'm saying, Ryan. - I agree. - Holy shit. So, okay, Almo and Clover, what the hell are you thinking, like seeing this? Like you see, like there's no hesitation. Like he, it's like, I'm trying to get your attention, okay. And just obliterates. - Here it is. - Yeah. - You have my attention. - That's it. Uh oh. - Hurry up, mutant dragon. Oh, I'm done, my turn's gone. That's enough, I feel.

- Almo, you have 50 seconds. - Yeah. Yeah, Almo, you're up. - Almo gets big. - Oh. - And I figured out how to do it myself. - Look at you. - Oh man. - It went away, hey. Well, he gets big. You may be big again. It didn't want to keep it. - I got you, baby. - I'll figure that out in the future, but it's not the future, it's now. And I got a five minute limit. And I'm just gonna let you sort that out. And he goes charging in because he has to protect his cousin. And he goes, you're gonna have to get yourself together. I'd say I'd try not to hurt you too much, but I don't feel like you're gonna do the same.

All right, this is gonna hurt probably me more. - Those twitching bodies. - Just in shadow flames, the way he... - That's cool. - What I'm gonna do for now is I'm gonna swing them all and I'm just gonna add a plus one because it's a plus one weapon. And that way we can keep moving forward. Plus one because of what it is. And let's see if that hits. That's a 26 hit. - Whoa. - Here we go and off to the races. We're gonna start off with a little bit of giant smite damage. Boom boom. - And max damage. - And what we're gonna do is on top of that, I am going to, I'm gonna use the malls damage again.

It's just simpler until I can sort it out. I'm gonna add a plus one damage situational. Actually, does the hammer thunderbolts do the same kind of base damage? - Let's say yes. - Okay. I'm going to roll that damage. Okay, that's an extra 15. He is going to expend a use. Of one of his little abilities called defensive flourish. It will do extra damage to you. However much damage is done to you will also go on to my armor class until the start of my next turn. - Damn. - And it's not giving me the role. So since it hits, I'm gonna use my product inspiration die.

I'm sorry, yeah. - Okay. - Okay, so, and that would be a D six. So I'm just gonna roll that right here. - Okay. That's three. - That's three, leaving my C 20 right now. - Damn, very nice. - And so, and that would be cool if that was where I was done. That's not what I was built for. - Yes. - When you hit a creature with an attack using weapon, you can invoke the fire rune to summit his bottomless joy brand flares up. Fiery shackles lash out from the ground and attempt to contain him. - Shit. - Ooh, okay. - It's a really easy saving throw. Can you click that as your guy?

- Oh, DC 13 strength. - Yeah, you'll make that in a heartbeat. - I got a 15 seconds there Ryan. - I can go in and do a saving throw. - Okay. So that's the extra damage I'm effectively done. - That was so close. - Oh, he just rolled a 13. - And that is everything I can do. Oh wait, I have a second attack. - How many five minutes do you need? - Do all the things. - That's all right. - This is a special one. - All right, we'll do that. - Oh, 21. That will hit. - Okay, I can't do all the extra stuff a second time. So I'm just going to just do a basic damage on it. There you go.

- Very nice. - Are you immune to fire damage, Ryan? - I wouldn't say immune, but I am a red dragon. - Oh, wait a minute. - Damage immunities fire. - Damage immunities to fire and what are, are we considered in dim light or in darkness? - You're emitting enough magical light that I think that like, yeah. - Okay, good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I was saying that's a whole nother. - I know, yeah. That's the, yeah. But so the shackles aren't going to do damage, but the rest of the- - Shrug off those fiery shackles like they're nothing. - Yeah, but the, you getting hit in the head over and over with a hammer, that will hurt.

So, holy shit, you get big, you run up and just, blah, blah, like you, holy shit. That's a quarter of Brian's boss bar gone, like- - And my behind's facing you, so you just, you just whoop some ass. - Yeah, that's all tank damage right there. So that is the end of round one. It's time to re-roll. Zozo, you are up first and then it's Criv. - Hell yeah. Death saving throw, where's the button for that? The big skull on my icon maybe? - Yeah. It's meant to be easier. - All right, come on, come on, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20. - Ooh, how about a three?

- Oh, almost got one. - Plovered on that 17. - All right. Okay. - But that saving throw's so much easier to find now, right? - It's pretty good. - Okay. Shit. Okay, so, jeez, okay. 420. It's Criv's turn now, so not as the dragon mutant Criv. As Criv, I need a wisdom saving throw and if you give me a 24 or higher, it's a save, not a check. So I believe you have a plus eight. - Do I also get my aura plus three bonus? - No. No. This is all the inner you. You're not technically, yeah. - So what was this again? This was a check? - Save. - Save. - Wisdom save. So we're looking for 24 or higher.

Ooh, shit. So that's a 12, so another round of ass-kickery. But that check is going, that save is gonna shrink each time. It's gonna be a little easier. - Shrink faster. - Oh. Also, I don't wanna add salt to the wound, but you get a cool thing if you get bloodied. You get to say the thing. Stop hitting him. - Scrapple him. - I gotta practice as a result. - But we're friends, so it's a result of being buddies. - That's fucking good. - You know what? Give yourself inspiration, Heywood. - Oh, fuck yeah. - There we go. - I'm not joking, do it. All right, Kriv. - All right, so the only other thing in my wheelhouse is going in for a multi-attack.

So he's gonna kinda, I picture these fiery shackles trying to come up and just kind of envelop a little bit. His wings is gonna burst out, break those shackles. He's gonna turn around, take a couple of steps over to get closer to you and try to give you a good old bite. Jesus, 26. - Just got me by. - Just beat my AC by a little. - Right, right, right. - I need you to roll like normal, not like you're a boss. - I'm trying, I'm clicking the button. It's too much power. There's just, it's just. - Come on, it's coursing through my veins. - The real Ryan is somewhere in there.

- Yeah. - I know how Rosa feels now. All right, so let me get this damage in. 24. Holy shit. - Oh my God. - It was that much. - Oh no, I can't control my own actions. Oh no, someone stop me. No, no. - I mean, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. - Yep. - So you have 69 hit points. - I had 69 hit points. - Oh yeah. - Okay, how many do you get for your multi-attack? - A follow up with, I believe, let me double check. Two claw attacks afterwards. - Okay, your AC is 20 though. - Yep. - What are the odds you can keep hitting that good? I'll tell you what. (group groans) That's a crit, 20, that crit just rolled.

- I'm pretty sure they knew from the... We gotta see if this is gonna roll on the table, Ryan. Technically, this is still canonically Ryan. He's rolling the worst possible rolls right now. - It's true. - You know what, that's true. - True. - Yeah, Jesus. All right, so we're not rolling on the table, thankfully. You just do claw damage. - Oh man. - Oh, there's some lens in there. Okay, 15. - That could have been a lot worse. - It could have been a lot worse. - Okay. - All right, and then... - Last one. - Another attack. - Oh, oh God. - Two. - That was almost another 20.

- I know, Jesus God. - That one doesn't hit. - Oh, thank God. Okay, so, Olmo, you're up now. - Well, I would like... - You are correct, he isn't holding back. - I would like to lead with using my bonus action to use a second wind. - Good, good. - Oh, crit. So 15 health, I got you, baby. Put that right back on. - Ding. - All right, I'm gonna try and be a little bit faster this time. - You're good, you're good. It's a lot to take in. - There's a 17 hit. - Misses. - You have inspiration. - I do. Let's use that immediately. - Good. - I need to leave that on the table. - There's 24 hit.

- Yes. - Okay. Let's see, giant smite is buried, so I'm just gonna pull that up real quick. I accidentally consumed a usage. I can fix that later. - Yes, you're good. - Here we go. Giant smite damage right there, it's done. Gonna get the weapon damage in. I'm gonna add the plus one, since I think you already applied the giant smite, boom. There you go. We are going to use that defensive flourish again. Olmo is going to say, "Get a hold of yourself, man." - Just to fucking hit me. - That's, this AC will only be 19 this time, with the extra two on the die, two to damage, two to AC.

And he gets a second attack as part of his normal attacking thing. - If you could do like 90 damage, that would be cool. - Well, let's see what happens. - Crit, crit, crit, crit, crit. - I can no longer do that. I can't even hit him. - 14 is gonna miss. - Didn't do this time is use a bonus action. - Didn't you use second wind? - Didn't you use second wind? - What I did use this time is use my bonus action. (all laughing) - It was well spent though. - It was. - Clover, if you could do 90 damage-ish, like that'd be great. - I wish, I have no further points. - I temporarily give my ability to smite over to Clover.

I would love that. - Are you feeling particularly religious right now, Clover? - My little pendant drops to the ground and then picks it up. - Do you know what takes an action? Drawing a card. - Do you wanna take a bad situation and maybe make it worse or are you just- - I'm dying, don't listen to me, I'm dead, I'm dying. Words of a dying man, not to be trusted. - Canonically, Clover just thinks the cards sparkle pretty. - Yeah, that's true. - That's true. - Jason. - What? - Yes. - Yeah, okay. (all laughing) I got in my last thing, I got the feat healer and I don't have a healing kit, but I do have an herbalism kit and I'm trained with that.

Could I combine them? - Close enough. - Could I? - Yeah. - Okay. - Close enough, that's fine. Here's the thing and I would chalk this up too, Clover has probably eaten enough shit to know, you know what I mean? It's like, well, I can mash these things together and it's like Pepto-Bismol, I don't know. Like, you know, like a trial and error, you've had many tummy achy nights. - Yes, and so she's gonna be like, "Oh, oh, oh, I got a thing for-" Okay, and so she's gonna like run up and skid next to Zozo and just be like, "Uh, huh, shit," and just shove a wad of grass and be like, "Chew it, chew it now, chew it now." - And grass beats shadow type, we know that, so.

(all laughing) - Give yourself inspiration. - Thank you, appreciate it. (all laughing) - So it's either that I can use a kit to stabilize a dying creature and they regain one hit points or it says you can spend a use of a healer kit to restore HP and it's like, I don't know if mine has like usages, so should I just do the first one? - I would say this, if you're taking an action to do that, I would say Zozo gets a hit die back. - Oh. - Sure. - Okay. - Okay. - I will say yes. - Oh, the throat, just like keep, put it, it's delicious, it's really good, Zozo, please swallow right now, please.

- And if anything, it revives him enough so that he can stop, like, it's like, ew, like, you know what I mean? It's so foul that it's like smelling salts. - Yeah, maybe. - Give yourself a healing die or a hit die. - Okay, I just need to find it. Once I found it, I'll know where it is. - Damn, damn, I knew where it was before. - Oh, sorry. - No, no help. - I got you, baby. So here's- - Your character portrait, the lower right-hand corner will be a number. - Unless did that turn into the skull? - It turned into the skulls, the thing. So here's what it is. We can pick that off now.

You are, so, okay. I give you one. There you go, you're good. - Thank you. - Now you can do it. - Yup. - Okay. - Boy, that's a lot of red on your portrait. - Hey, I'm gonna take my fighter hit die. Let's go. - Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's a good loophole. - Yeah. - Hey. - Hey. - Here we go, right? - Okay, so you got 11 hit points. (dramatic music) All right, yeah, he's gonna, a mix of doing that inhale from people who are resurrected, like (gasps) where they will choke on whatever is in the back of his throat. (laughs) He sees Clover just like, tending to him. Thank you, Clover.

And he'll roll on his side, kind of like, with his arms crossed against his chest, like just roll over to Criv. And from there, he'll kind of like unspool his whip and in the one sweeping motion will come back to his feet and crack his whip, which will ignite and flame, but that doesn't do anything, but he still does it. - This looks cool. - It just looks cool. But I guess it's not, I don't know if it's my turn actually. - It's not, it's not. - But I was giving you some leeway to like, you know, it looks real cool. Yeah. We'll see how actionable any of that is in a minute.

(laughing) Maybe that's the last thing he saw, like his last neurons firing. It's like, it looks so bad ass. Ugh, I like this. (laughing) That is the end of round two, which leads us to round three. - Oh no. - God, of course. Of course, continuing the trends of good slash evil rolls. - Can I delay my turn? - You can, well, let's see. It's time for another wisdom saving throw. 22 is the save this time. It's getting smaller. Come on, baby. You could do it. - I don't know. Why don't you do that when you attack? - I would if I could. I would love to. - That's a 12. So not, it's gonna get smaller.

- Okay. - So bad roll does not save. So I'm gonna have to continue attacking. So he's gonna move around a little bit more. Just kind of your other side. He's just not staying still in the exact spot, but just kind of doing these little movements back and forth by just a couple. Still gonna target Omo, because you've been smacking him in the face with a hammer. - Yeah, you're the only one to do damage to him so far. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Almost trying to keep everyone else from being hit. And he's really thinking this wasn't maybe the best strategy. - Yeah. Well, as he starts to kind of move over to your other side, which is gonna be your left, he's gonna try to come in for a bite to your leg.

- Ooh. - I used the... - Not the good one. - Jesus, 28. God. - It's gonna four again. - It could have been a two, but it bounced off the top of the board. I'm... Gotta roll right in the middle of the screen there, buddy. - If only it would let me control it. - All right, so I'm gonna go in. - Gotta win that wisdom saving throw. - Yeah. - Ooh. - Okay. Well, there's a one in there, but still 23. That bites nasty. - And then I'm gonna follow it up with two claw attacks. - Okay, your AC's 19. So you just, you gotta roll a little lower, right? - A little lower. - A little lower, buddy.

- Bite that high. - Let's go low. - Let's go, let's roll a three. - That's a five. - Okay, 15. Okay, that one misses. - I am super impressed by how close you got that. - All right. - Let's go for a two. - That was not as close. - No. - Well, there's a two in it. - That is not a two. - 26. - Fuck. - Okay. - Oh God, how many, and you have 22 hit points. So it's just, okay, 16, 16. Six hit points. - And that's everything. - Jesus God. God, okay, Clover. - Oh God, okay. - Hop on his back, do something. - Can I? - Yes, but, yes, but. It's yes and usually yes, but. Just think about it, just for a second, Mandy.

- I wanna, I don't know, that would be kind of, hmm. Well, I get. - I will let you, if you have questions, ask him now. - Okay. If I were to be like, uncle, no, and then jump onto his back and try and crawl and be like, sorry, and smack him in the head with some glitter fists. - Jason, I do hate glitter. - Okay, good, good. Okay, so I, so, okay. It does say on his character sheet, vulnerability to strippers. So glitter is included in all of that. So I'm gonna let you, so if you give me an acrobatics check, and it's a 15 or higher, not only will I let you get on his back, it will lower his AC for the entire time you're on his back by three.

- Okay. - He'll be distracted, we'll count it as that. - All right. - Okay. - Acrobatics. - Here we go, baby, 15 or higher. That's all we're looking for. - Oh, nope. - That's a nine. - Mandy, roll higher. - Here's the thing, it's not no damage or anything like that. It's like you trying to, it's like, oh God, he's big. Like that type of thing. But I like your ingenuity, so I'm not gonna have that eat up your whole turn. - Okay. - So we'll count that as a bonus action. - Bonus action, okay. So I tried to scrabble up, it's like, oh man, climbing's hard. Okay, I guess I just gonna, sorry, uncle, I'm just gonna hit you here and just like, tink.

Do I get advantage here? - Yeah. You do get advantage, yeah. - That's why I moved there. - See, you're still in there. - Yeah, the part that's not kicking the shit out of you. - 19. - That will hit. - Okay. - Woo! - I wanna do some damage. - Oh, almost max damage, look at you. - And then second punch, glitter, just going into the... - Oh no. 24 will hit. - Yeah. - Okay. - That is really close to halfway. - I know. - Yes, oh, max damage, baby. Hey, Ryan. - Oh God. - Oh no. - Oh no. - Oh no, what have you done? - As a result of being bloodied, something happens. - Oh, it's gonna happen.

So here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna take your normal attack round right now, and you're gonna divvy it up between the two people who are standing next to you any way you like. - I am right here, and I did just smack him. - You gotta take your full multi-attack. - This situation sucks, man. - I thought it was gonna be like, I can fly away, but no. - Nah, you're not really, you're kind of a weird mutant dragon thing. Like one arm's bigger than the other. You're a Dark Souls boss, not a majestic, like, you know? - I'm going home to my family. - Imagine if I just roll into the Dragonborn camp like that.

- Guys, there were complications. - Oh. - I'm starting to think we might not all make it back from this one, guys, maybe. - I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to bite Clover. - Okay. - I did smack you in the ass. - Glittery and delicious. - You did? Okay, let's roll a six. - Roll for an X. - That does hit me. - 23. - Yeah. - Hmm. - Okay. - Oh, 20 damage, Jesus. - That's okay. - That's almost half a Clover. - Oh, okay. - That's okay. - All right, and then another claw towards Clover. - Okay. - Oh. - 14. - That misses because of my ability. What is it? I forgot what it's called. Combat Dodge.

- The Combat Dodge? Yeah, Jesus, God, thank you for Combat Dodge. I'm glad I wrote that. - Yeah. (all laughing) - And then I didn't like missing, so I'm gonna hopefully miss again. - Don't you dare crit. Don't you dare crit, Ryan. - Oh. - 17. - That hits. - Okay, yeah. - You were swinging it almost that time, right? - No. - I mean, originally I was thinking about it, but I was very terrified of losing your foil. - Just taking your head clean off? - Yeah, no fair. - She did punch the shit out of your butt too. - You did. - You did. - Butt punch. - She did like 25 butt damage.

Like that's. - That's a lot. - Uncle, ow. - That's a lot of damage. - That's worse than Taco Bell. - Ow. - That's a million dollar contract you're talking about. You need to be careful about what you say. So-so, you are up. - Oh boy. (dramatic music) - Yeah. So-so's further away than the rest of the people, so he takes in the full picture of what's going on. He's just gonna yell, "We're never going to out damage this thing." Defensive measures. Pull back. And that was like a second wind for one thing. - Good, good, good. - For one thing. Features? Second wind. Roll that thing.

Okay, it's just put in the chat. Healing normal, okay. - Yeah. - In Force 4. - Well, yeah. - Yeah. - Better than nothing. - Yeah. - And Sozo is going to act as he preached. - Then run away. - Yeah, well, kind of. Here. - In the dimly lit shadows. - Okay. - 30 feet away. Like kind of like away from the rest of the group. - And is this you trying to get the attention of Kriv or you just telling everybody like bail? - Bail. - I mean, a bit of both. Like if I could get an exit, like an escape window for the two of them, I'm going to cast Create Bonfire, whatever I called it.

I know he's immune to fire damage. That's my only ranged attack. - Okay, this is just like. - What's my acid breath range? 30 feet? - I think it's 30 feet. - It could be. - Let's see. - Breath weapon. - Does it make a cone appear? - It's a line. - Oh yeah, it's not fire. It's a straight, like, yeah, you're spitting. - Acid line. And like there was a thing about it back in the day about him kind of like being hurt by it. - It, whoa, oh, you're doing psychological warfare. Okay. - Just want to see my range. - Just do it. - It was because of the fireball, not because of acid.

- Yeah, well. - Yeah, but like if it singes your skin. - Oh yeah. - Are you in the state to like really, you know what I mean? It's animalistic. - I meant, I meant, I meant acid damage hurts Zozo. Like that's an old thing from like year one effect. - Yeah. - But I'm going to, yeah, I'm going to cast that. Breath weapon, it's a DC 12 dexterity. - Dexterity is not necessarily Criv's strong suit at the moment. - Is it Dex? It's just got to be Dex, or acid. - It's gotta be. - Please be Dex. - If it's Khan, we have problems. - Almost specific. - It's Dex, let's go with Dex.

- Yeah. - Ryan, you understand the assignment, right? - I would love. - Okay. - Low rolls. - A low saving roll. Let's go with a crit fail. Let's see if we can get a one. - Well. - 15 will dodge. - That's half damage. - Okay. - Which means it's 2D6 at this level still. It grows to 3D6 at six level. 3D6, there we go. - Nice. - I'll give you 3D6. (dramatic music) There's no button for, okay. It's all falling apart, go. 3D6 rolling. - Four damage. - So half of that is four acid damage to the butt of the dragon. - It's always the butt, people keep attacking your butt. - I guess it would be his flank maybe.

- Hmm. - Olmo, you're hurting. - Yeah, unfortunately, any attempt to escape would mean an immediate slapping. - Not with disengage. - You also have advantage on attacks currently. - You do. - So you have a choice to make. - Okay. - Also, if Kriv decided to chase after Zozo, that's two opportunity attacks. No idea if that, I don't know, but again, a choice. - Yeah, go after the guy who did four damage to you. (laughing) It's the principle, still Zozo. - Something in that animal brain, yeah. - Olmo would love to, you know what, Olmo is going to use as a bonus action.

He's gonna use healing word. At second level. - Hmm. - And Clover. - Oh, that's good character stuff. - That's his cousin. - Seven healing. - You're gonna get out of here okay there, cousin. And he tries to get Kriv's attention back on himself. - If ever a crit was needed. - That's right, I have advantage now. - Yeah, you do. - Come on, baby. - Nine. - Oh, 28 will definitely hit. - That's a good hit. - Okay, I'm gonna pull up this giant smite. I will not consume resource or available usage because I've already done that. Okay, we'll do three. And there is the damage from the maul.

Right here, normal. You add one to that and here's the damage from it. - 12 damage. - And we are going to, I'm gonna use my last bardic inspiration. Wait, how many bardic inspirations did I use? I used two in this fight. And I believe if two of you gotten bardic inspiration from me this session. - I got one. - You got one. - It was only one. - Okay, sorry. - I did get one. - One last one then. And that'll be my last defensive flourish. Big money. All right. - Ooh, big money. - That makes my 22 to hit me. - 22 AC is not bad. - And for his second attack. I've already used up all the good stuff.

So even if I could. - 18. - Is it roller wins the tie? - Yeah. - So there we go. That will hit. - Oh my God. Good, good, good, good, good, good. - All right. - He's down to a third. - Yeah. - You've done 97 damage to me, Toldem. - Win, lose or draw, that's fucking respectable. - Mm-hmm. - All right. - Oh yes. - Oh, 15 damage. - And Omo hits you with a hard swing, trying to make sure Clover's okay. And when he gets done swinging, he just kind of goes, ow. - There. - He is down to a quarter, just a quarter of his hit points. That is the end of round three, which means it's time to re-roll one more time.

He is last in the initiative. - Thank God. - Oh, thank goodness. Guys, you have your three turns to finish this. He is down to a quarter. Omo, you are up again. - All right. - What if he saves though? He's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Again, it's non-lethal damage. 20. - Oh, well I wasn't gonna do it. - That's not a crit. - That will hit. - It's totally a net 20, you heard him guys. No? (laughing) - Do it. - Wink, wink. (laughing) - All right, where do I have that giant smite damage? - I will say while you're rolling this, it is very fitting that Clover's turn is right before me.

So if it comes down to it, it could be Clover. - 14 damage. - 15 giant smite, that's a total of 15. - And then there is the second swing. This one will be a little bit simpler. - Oh, do it. - I cannot. - Oh, damn, 14's gonna miss. - Five out of three. I'll drop Trek to take bad. - Sozo, you're up. - Sozo's like, all right, you brave idiots, let's do it. Let's go. And he's gonna charge in and he's gonna crack his whip again. He's gonna swing it above his head as he's running. And then he's gonna slide in on what's left of the snow. And he's gonna try to aim at a soft part in his big, bright underbelly.

- If you roll a crit, it's right in the tank. Just that's canonical. Like I'm just letting you know right now, you have advantage because Olmo takes up two spots. - Let's go. 21. - 21 will hit. - 21 will hit. That'll hit. Oh my God. - 21. - Yeah. - Come on, baby. - I'm gonna roll my sneak attack die, which is a D6. - Three? - And now I'm gonna roll mat. I mean, dude's immune to fire damage. I'm limited. - Yes, but it's a whip damage is good, right? - So 11 total. And I'm gonna... - Oh, watching that boss bar shrink and shrink. - No, I'm gonna... No, I'm not gonna bonus disengage.

This is a hero moment. - No. - But that's also... Okay, I'm gonna... - I forgot my action surge. - I'm gonna... Well, you have it next turn. - Yeah. - I'm gonna just move around. I don't have... Awesome. Bonus action, dash. I'm gonna move around so that if you fire breath or shadow breath, it's not too at once. - Look at you being all smart. You can't all die one turn. - Yeah. - Multi attacks, I guess. And then he could actually one shot each one of you. Yeah, no, you're right. Okay. He actually could kill everyone. - I was supposed to do the recharge at the start of the turn, right?

- Yeah. - Oops. - The multi attack itself could kill everyone, theoretically. - Yeah. - But let's... Okay, Clover. - Okay. - You have to finish him off. - You can do this. This is reachable. - Knock him out. - Gonna just... She's like, "Uncle, uncle." Just like, "I'm sorry, uncle." And just gonna keep punching him in that butt. - Advantage. - Oh no, that's bad. - We're gonna drop him. I'm gonna take a three. That's still a 10. - It's second time. - Did you have a thing for a thing? - Do you have a multi attack? - Yep, I can do one more. - Okay. Okay. Come on. Okay. Okay.

You still salvageable. Do it. We're dropping a one again to take an 18, 25 will hit. - Okay. - All right. - Every bit of damage you can. - Oh my God. He has a sliver, a sliver of health. All of you are exhausted and beaten and bloodied. And that's all Clover has. It all comes down to this save for Kriv. Give me a wisdom saving throw. And we're looking for a 17 or higher. - Okay. Let's roll a 17. Let's just go for that. - Classic Ryan Garner won when we needed it. Man. It's like a, it's like a band playing the classics. It's so good. Made me dizzy. Seeing the results of that made me dizzy.

Oh man. - Perfect. - You have three hit points. You have, - Okay. - You're up buddy. - Let me roll to see if shadow breath recharges. - Okay. It does not. - Phew. - Okay. - Cause like we're so low. This is like instant death territory. - Yeah. And a crit could kill, like take the head off of any one of you. It's real bad. - All right. - Every one of these people have hit you. - Yeah. I'm going to be just kind of, there's going to be like a big shake. Wings are going to start to just kind of furrow. He's going to snap his head over towards Omo and try to attack with a bite.

- What's your, okay. - To refresh you're ACs crazy right now, right? 23? - Wouldn't that be lovely? - Oh, it isn't? - It's 22 though, right? - Oh no. - That's right because of the, - You got the plus five, right? - Yes. Until the start of my next turn. Unless like the way the rolly thing goes, it's actually through the end of the next turn. - Oh no, no. If it was, it wasn't this round then, ah shit. Okay. - Yep. - I'm going so fast, trying to hurt my, - Oh shit. - Shit. - Okay. Just Ryan, Ryan, I'm begging you buddy. Don't garner this. - I really thought you had the plus five.

- Do it. - Oh God. - The only one. - Okay. Let's, let's roll for a number four. - Oh, 28. - Oh, that was, it looked like it was going to be a five. - All right. - Four was a good choice. - Okay. Bite damage. - All right, let's roll low on this. - 22 will knock Omo out, but not kill him. - Okay. - So turning around, bam, Omo is down. That's your, it's just Clover and Zozo who are not. What I would call the bulky individuals. - No. - And there's no more fighting that I can do with this. Right? Like I can't fight the urges of this at all. - No, I, I lowered the AC by five.

- Yeah. And then I rolled a one. - I know it wouldn't have mattered if it were. - So he's going to turn over to Clover and try to do a claw. - Oh God. - Yeah. - 16? - 16? - It meets it, it meets it, so yeah. - Ah, yes. - No. - You'll live. - Okay. - You will live. - Just roll low. - Low. - That's all you got to do. - Low. - 13. - I'm still up. - Oh my God. - And then the last one is going to go to Zozo. - That's fair. - Yeah. Okay. - Go low. - My God, 26. - That is not low. - Not quite. - And yeah, let's get some damage in there. - Oh, 16 is one more than you need to knock Zozo out.

- Clover, Clover. - It's just Crib and Clover now. - Oh my God. - Okay, go, go last, go last. - Round six, Clover goes first. - Okay. - Clover then Crib, oh my God. - Oh, this is so tense. - All you got to do is fucking hit him. - Just hit him. - Just hit him Andy, please. - I don't get advantage anymore. - No. - Okay. - Almost not helping all that much right now. - Right now. - He's a big lump, but he's still a lump. - So yeah, she sees Zozo go down. She's like, no, no, we can't, no. This is my fault. - I'm sorry guys, I'm just like going to. - 16. - She whips with her glitter once.

- That will miss. - You get one more, you get one more try Mandy, one more. - Do you still have Bardic inspiration or is it gone? - No, I used it. - Okay. - Mm-hmm, that's long since dead. - That's okay, that's okay. - Come on, you got this, come on. - Oh, she was on a 16 and it ripped off of it. - Did you make like a good pun earlier and you had inspiration? - Wish. - Oh my God, Ryan. - Ryan, make that mistake. - The save is a 15. - Okay, what's my wisdom? - 15, okay. - 15. Buddy. - Let's, let's. - Roll like you're trying not to hit us. - Yeah, I don't know what the magic words are, but.

- Oh my God, 26. So this, okay. - I'm sweating. - Oh my God, so a bloodied clover is gonna try and strike you twice and not be able to hit you. And just as you're about to deliver a brutal multi-attack, which would surely murder her, you're going to at the last possible second, wrestle control away as this spell wanes. And with three hit points, you are going to return to yourself as Kriv, shrink down as I imagine every single one of you pass out on the top of this mountain, having destroyed the staff. And I think that is a good time for us to stop for the evening.

- Holy shit. - Oh my God. - Nice job, team. - Kriv, do one thing. Just real quick. - Yeah, if it shit himself, I'd understand. - So he's just gonna kind of crawl over to that corner, like right in between Omo and Zozo and spread out his hands and just tap him with his hand to give a point of. - Oh, that's good. - A point of not to bleed to death. - Exactly. - Please don't forget that. - And then as like, as he collapses, right? That's just like tap, tap face down into the snow. - Jesus guys, holy shit. - That was tense. - Thank you. - Thanks Ryan for the challenge.

- That was amazing. - The genuine fear of death. - Of course, we'll all wake up with extra faces on the sides of our heads. (laughing) - Now I'm a little sad I tapped the staff. - Maybe I get an extra bonus shadow thing that I can use every now and then. Then it'd be worth it. - My God. That's as close as you can get. - That I think I've ever been a part of. - And I am so glad it was you doing it. It felt better. Like, you know what I mean? Like, poetic. Like not just culpability, you know. Jesus dude. - Oh man. - You, I'm clammy. - Perfect. - I have such an adrenaline rush.

I'm just like, oh. - I gotta be up in five hours. Good luck. Even get this. - I was gonna call it and I'm like, no, we're so close. We just didn't get it. It wouldn't have felt right. Yeah. - Tell your boss about the game last night. - I'm gonna hit stop on the recording.