A Casual Chat with Gods

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

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Coming to Apple TV Plus on August 9th. You're the Marine? Yeah, you're the ex-con. Yeah, I did time, but you don't gotta cast aspersions at me. From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity comes a new film. This your first job? I know what I'm doing. It's a little late for a credit change. Starring Matt Damon. Everybody in New England is after us. And Casey Affleck. Go, go, go, go, go! What are you doing? Taking notes. Taking notes on a criminal conspiracy. The Instigators, rated R. Streaming August 9th on Apple TV Plus. Let's do that thing where we go around the table to introduce ourselves.

I'm Jason, I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table, starting with Mandy. I'm first. Hi guys, it's Mandy and I play Clover. That happy, well, kind of trouble making, Red Dragonborn endurance, but everything turned out fine. And Xavier. Hello, I'm Xavier and I play Zozo. The Dragonborn Shadows Chosen. And Ryan H. Hello everybody, I am your friend, Ryan Haywood, and I will be playing for you, Olmo, the Unconscious Fighter Bard. And Ryan G. Hey everyone, Daddy Dragon here, Kriv. I don't know what's going on anymore. I just woke up, people are hurt. I don't know.

What about Kriv though? He's hurt too. Everything hurts. Maybe it's just because he's old, I don't know. First introduction to 2024. Guys, I don't know what's going on anymore. I mean, that's, I just keep checking Twitter. I just don't do that. I don't do that. Bree comes to me every once in a while and like she's in a panic. I'm like, you were on Twitter, weren't you? She's like, yeah. And I'm like, stop it. Nothing good happens there. Don't check your ex. I just have good old funny videos and doggy videos on TikTok and that's all that I do now. What else is removed?

I have transferred over to TikTok because I can curate my capybara videos. And oh, yes. They're so cute. They're very large. Yeah, they are. I like the pelican trying to eat the capybara and it's just like, whatever. Yeah, it's fine. Honestly, if you can pull it off, you've deserved it. It's fine. That's your attitude. Let's let's get back to the top of this mountain. All four of you are unconscious and you're going to be unconscious for a while. Now we're going to get to the ramifications of the cold, but most of you passed out with no hit points. We're not doing death saving throws.

We're not doing it. We're treating it as you're just knocked out. So it would be, you know, a series of hours of just I imagine. One by one, you're going to start to come to and there's been this light snowfall the entire time. So part of you is just sort of kind of not buried in snow, but just kind of like lightly dusted. And as you're rolling over, you're going to see like deep pink, red blotches where you have just bled for a while into the snow. Honestly, it's probably a good thing. It's so cold and it probably helped with the blood loss. You're going to wake up.

It is the middle of the night. It is cold and again, one by one, you're just going to be able to roll over. You can see that Kriv is back to normal, that everyone is alive, but very much worse for wear, you know. Everybody do me a favor. Give me a d20. Person who rolls the highest is going to wake up first. Remember how I said, oh, I have a good feeling about my roles this game. Just rolled a two. It's not a one. It's yeah, that's true. That's a sleepy heads over here. Yeah, honestly, everyone kind of everyone but Xavier with a 15. So I think Zozo got knocked out first anyways.

Yeah, I got a time to rest. All right. Well, yeah, Zozo will struggle to kind of like get back on his side or on one knee and look around, see that the rest of the party is sort of like breathing but still not back. So in like complete silence with just the sound of the wind at the top of this mountain, he'll conjure a small bonfire with one of his spells, like one of like a small black fire thing just to keep everybody warm right in the middle of everybody. And then he'll sort of just like tend to his wounds as best as he can. And he'll keep an eye out for that big guy that lived here 10 minutes ago.

Just to see if he noticed. And he's coming back. Well, he's got quite a hike ahead of him. Although to you, it was 10 minutes ago. It was, you know, hours. And it's right. All right. Okay. Yeah. If you were out that long, then you're probably all dead anyway. Yeah, he's back. Okay, cool. Yeah. I'm still keeping an eye out just for good measure. But yeah, I'll kind of just like huddle. I'll try to drag the people who are still unconscious closer to the fire and just wait and kind of like sit, just plop down and wait it out. Think it over. So one by one, you're all going to wake up.

Though it is a little warmer now with this fire. It's no brighter. It's the only fire that doesn't kill. I don't do that. But the moon's out. So you got that going for you. I guess what's what's everyone's thought? It's pretty damn cold. You are all very injured. Clover's double exhausted using, you know, tapping into way more of that power than she probably should have. But you know, the need was there. What's going through everyone's head? You know, Omo wakes up and he looks over at the black fire and he looks over at Zozo, who is awake and the blackness that burns.

Oh, must be Zozo. And Omo waves and he pulls out his loot and he starts strumming slowly and gently as people are waking up, playing a little thing that we call Song of Rest. Ooh, love that song. It's it's a classic. I don't know why, but the Song of Rest, in a situation like this, Metallica's Nothing Else Matters is the first thing that pops in. Don't know why. Yeah, and like maybe uncharacteristically, but Zozo will sort of like without talking, he'll wave back at you when you wake up, kind of just like acknowledge, OK, you're back too. Let's wait for the others.

But then when you start playing like those of a kind of like rock backing forth to the rhythm and like it's. Get a Groot is a good song. It's a good song. He appreciates art. He nods at you and then nothing else matters. Yeah. And Clover wakes up for she's like very just groggy and just she's like, like she's coming out of a nightmare. She's like, huh? And then she's looking around and just like checking on each of them, like, OK, looking at Zozo like, oh, he's there. OK, cousin, cousin's here. And then he sees and she sees that Crib is still like unconscious and she immediately just tears start pouring down her her little scaly cheeks and she goes, oh, cool.

And if he's not awake yet, she's going to just, you know, belly flop onto him and be like, oh, cool. Oh, cool. Don't die. I'm so sorry. Oh, cool. And then just clutching at him. It's a good clover. He's breathing. Although maybe not anymore to get move. I'm guessing that would wake me up if I'm not wake you up inside, probably. Yeah. All the heavy hitters. There we go. So he's going to kind of call for wake, be startled. We get his bearings just real quick. See the two kind of out in the not in kind of close distance, but then see clover over him. And he's just going to kind of like flop his head back into the snow and just bring the bring one arm up and just kind of put it around clover.

It's OK. Just breathe. Breathe and just trying to get you to calm down at this point. And she's doing that the kind of like, like, you know, hyperventilating cries. Just like, yeah, and just holding and just like, you know, let go, just holding on to him. Yeah. And he'll kind of bring you closer with that one arm and just kind of like pat your head where you kind of get like that little stroke right on the backside of the head. And he'll just kind of keep repeating. It's OK. It's OK. And after a little bit of some silence, I'm guessing they're just kind of Ukraine, his head up a little bit, recognize that everyone else is there and everyone's alive or wounded, but everyone's alive.

And he'll just mumble good and just his head fall right back into the snow. And he's just going to be there for a little bit. I'm picturing like a full hour of everyone lost in their thoughts with just almost music going while we just do our own thing in our own headspace as we we, you know, recover heel hit points. Yeah, like a solid hour of just like there's no need to rush it. I picture it being pretty quiet to like we're probably the it's the music, the wind, any particular animals that would be up there, you know, we're kind of hearing them in the distance and probably not a whole lot being said for a while.

Honestly, it's kind of tough to visualize how you'd feel after something like that. Like if you've ever had an intense argument with a loved one or someone you live with or whatever, like there's always that that usually meeting up in the kitchen, we should talk type of conversation. But like imagine a full on fight to the death over something you couldn't even control. And after everything you guys have been through, like it's probably just like kind of it's like, OK, what next? That's the thing. It's like, you know, we are extremely heavy right now.

Oh, God, yeah. At some point, Crib will sit up and if Clover's not not sitting up already, then he'll kind of help her sit up as well. And she kind of looked to everyone at the group. I don't really remember what happened. All I remember is this overwhelming rage and feeling hurt and remember hurting you, you all. I'm sorry. There's nothing to apologize for Crib. You know, your your shadow game is pretty strong, too. I could teach you some tricks, but not only will save that for later. There was nothing else you could do or we could do. This staff was powerful magic and we had to break it.

And I don't think it would have happened any other way. We were lucky it was you who was transformed because you managed to snap out of it before it was too late. He's going to look over to Clover and like bring his hands to like each side of your cheeks. I love you, but no touching staffs and glowy objects like that again, please. And she just her head bows down to the OK. I didn't mean to make you turn into the big monster thing that almost ate us. It's OK, Clover. Who's hungry? You know? No. But I'm hungry for anything else right now. Can I get a perception check from everybody?

Shit. Some good ones. Yeah. All right, guys. Good stuff. So Olmo is probably I mean, yeah, probably just just just just keeping it going. Is way too much pain to do anything other than focus on playing right now. Honestly, the finger dexterity in the freezing cold is impressive. This is a fairly wide open space. We've been over it where this this this giant's living and there's kind of like a kind of a lean to over to the side. It's it's it's it's big, but not not exactly impressive, right? It's just to keep some of the elements off and sitting on a rock. A decent distance away from you guys is going to be what looks like an older woman, like she's got kind of long grayish like hair, kind of like kind of like whipping in the wind every once in a while when that kicks up.

The weather could have been way, way worse, but it's it's very clear she is sitting on a rock kind of looking off into the distance like she's not facing you. She's you know, she's she's kind of staring off. And as you're looking at that, this deer is going to fall into like into the middle of you. And it's very dead. And there is going to be a dwarf standing right next to you guys, as if he came out of nowhere, being a big, wild, bushy beard. Dwarves usually like, OK, if dwarves were in real life, the already booming beard accessory industry would be quadrupled.

All your waxes and your balms and your yeah, all oh my God. But no fucks given. Just big like it almost blends in with his body, wearing a lot of dark colors, black hair. And if you look over after he drops it in there, well, let's cut it up and we'll start cooking as if it's the most normal thing in the world. So I imagine at this point, right, like we see the lady in the distance. We all probably struggle to our feet at that point and just kind of like starting to point her out. We don't know friend or foe. Then the dwarf comes by, drops everything. We all get startled.

Who are you? With all due respect, I don't know what's going on. Can you give me some context here? Usually I like to not talk to you people, but tonight is it's a weird one. So we're going to eat and we're going to have a long conversation because you four. Holy shit. You guys did a bunch. So so let's start cutting this up and the crib, right? Yes. I'm going to meet you. Oh, no, clover, Zazu. Oh, it's close. I was close. Who's that? And he's going to point at the like the woman at the edge of the mountain. You should just let her take things in for a while. She's she's got a lot to think about.

She might join us later. I don't know. But as we talk, I think you'll get it. OK. And he's just going to start butchering this thing, like just, you know, you know, and great will bend down and help. I think over what will stop. No, no, no, no, uncle, uncle, uncle, sit there. I'll do it. And she has no idea how to butcher, but she's going to be like, I hope and just like, OK, that is perfect. That was perfect right there. Cribble will fight back with that a little bit like, no, it's it's OK, you rest. I got this and he'll kneel down and and pull out his knife and at the sight of the butchering happening like Zozo's bellies just going to audibly growl super loud and he's going to start drooling, but he'll sort of like cover his mouth with his hand and he'll kind of like step away from the group.

He's going to reach down to the little fire. You guys get going. You don't mind if I brighten this up a little bit, do you? It's mopey. Just a perfectly warm fire. It's great if we want to put up a Bob Marley poster or something, but right now, let's try to. Oh, guys. Yeah, that's I've heard of that part before. Amazing. I'm sorry. I'm going to focus on my song. So he's he's going to change the color of this fire with just kind of like just kind of motioning towards it. It's going to be kind of stoked up and there's going to be kind of embers floating in the into the breeze and slowly but surely he's going to set things up so that there's essentially deer steak kind of, you know, like there's like this little grate he puts over top of it and stuff.

And he's got a bunch of seasonings like in a pouch. So he's you could tell he kind of takes pride in, you know, I mean, he's a barbecue guy. I think this entire time Cribbs going to go along with it, but still very cautious. I don't think he knows if this is like friend or foe at all or what's happening. They've been through a lot of weird shit. So he's there's always going to be an air of caution with every movement that he does. How about we cut to it while we're getting ready to eat here? Let's talk about dragons and specifically let's talk about what you just did tonight.

How are you feeling about that? Victorious. Great. Based upon everything that we know, we did the right thing. Well, we're halfway done anyway. He's he's going to he's going to kind of motion over to all know halfway. Yeah. Oh, sorry, Ruth, Mars, no longer controlled by the cultists, and now we can try to make a movie or maybe it maybe shut the fuck up. I still don't trust you. You don't trust me? No, sorry. My eyes were looking at what's your name again? Mr. T. Yeah, Mr. D. Terzier is fine. Terzier. It. Again, look, I'm not here to fight you. Tell you the truth. Not to brag, but I'm a God.

Specifically, it sounds like not a metaphorical God like I know. No, no, no, no. Literal, literal, literal, literal. And I don't have a lot of time to convince you or whatever. So you hold up your hand. Yeah, Chris. All right. And he's going to motion to it and your hands going to start to plump up again, like it did when you changed into that roaring nightmare dragon beast. Here we go. And it's it's going to hold. It's like. Uh, gonna. Get rid of that now. I hope that convinces you. I don't have a ton of time here. I do, but I don't want to. OK, it's. That conversations with you guys are sticky.

They tend to be filled with questions. Well, I'm way too tired to question that. Just get it. We'll get along fine. Just get on with it. Do you want me to play a different song? I'll ask you that question. You're fine. OK. Yeah. I really have strong feelings about what you did. Honestly. A dragon shouldn't be under anyone's control. I. Nothing. No animal should be under someone's control. But yeah. Lenika over there has some strong feelings. She's real into nature and. A whole bunch of it is. Going to get impacted by this, so. I wanted to know what your long term plans are.

Look over it, Chris. Well. I guess the best way that I can put that in is some sort of semblance of order. With what's happened in the past and. Knowing that a Ruth tomorrow was being taken over and. All our people saw was. The writing of the wall of our death. And. We were hoping. That this would give us some sort of order, some sort of hope. Clarity of how to move forward. At least that's what we're acting on. You know about what happened a few years back, right? The forest that got torched. Yeah. Dragons fighting over city. It impacted things in a big way and it took seconds.

So I think that's what my friend is worried about. What are you guys going to use the dragon for? Well, if nothing else, a symbol of hope. Keeper. In our area, keep her happy. And hopefully nothing else. You understand she's rightfully pissed, right? You know, magical influence and being freed from that. She's going to lash out. Yeah, and that's our job to. Try to quell it or die trying. Well. The stakes are done, so. And just…he's got these, like, fingerless gloves, and he's just going to kind of reach out and grab the stake off of the little griddle there and just kind of, like… Just…not hand it to you, but, like, he's got these, like, makeshift wood slabs that he's going to, like… like little cutting boards.

He's going to hand one off to each one of you, give you some knives. Well, we're not going to get directly involved. It's just, we can't, but I can give you a little gift tonight, and do whatever you want with it, but… When you meet up with the dragon, at least you'll be able to talk to it and not explode. And he's just going to kind of, like, wave his hand a bit. You'll be able to talk to her. She'll be able to talk to you. Anything beyond that, who knows? Does that apply to any dragon or just Erythamar specifically? Just curious. All draconic. It's…you want to go talk to Kobolds?

Go ahead. That's not really the say…it's…it's… It's really stunted, kind of broken, draconic, really. Lenika, god of nature. Would it be okay if I go see if I could say something to her? Or is she the type of… I don't want to get near her at this point. Look, I go, absolutely go right ahead. But you know, we tend to stick to our own. She's total introvert. But yeah, just keep your temper kind of low. Just you know. At that, he'll kind of stand up and kind of dust off his lap a little bit and start to walk that way, meander over. Probably not in any sort of like fast walk movements, just kind of a casual walk over there.

Mm-hmm. But he'll be departing from the feast. Zozo will use that moment to kind of like slide his stake over to almost plate and he'll kind of just like pick up some like nasty looking dried roots from his backpack and some bark and he'll start like chewing on that. I got potatoes. You want potato? Yeah, I could do some potatoes. Don't tell anyone. He's got like, he's got like little roasting potatoes in his pocket. Is he like the god of food? We haven't asked him yet. I think mostly like it's not even his domain. It's just it's like I just really like barbecue guys.

Like I so seldom get to host. So do you want some? He's like holding out part of her steak that's been not on a little because she doesn't have a knife for him or Zozo for him. Oh yeah. But again, just kind of like grab it and then just just bite into it like gristle and all just kind of yeah. We'll kind of see like the grease kind of dribble into his beard and like yeah, it's it's very kind of gross. Honestly, a little steward of Gondor eating like it's pretty gross. Thank you. You should see the way you should see the way he eats a tomato. Oh my God. It's disgusting.

Yeah. So sitting down next to Lenica here. Yeah. So as he's he's walking over, I think there's going to be this awkward ish moment. He's never addressed to God before, especially like going up to someone. So as it gets close enough, Lenica, excuse me, and he's going to like start to bow like to get on a knee a little bit. Is is it OK if we talk for a moment? The second you start to bow, she's going to hold up her hand and just kind of like pat the rock next to her. It's like, yeah, just, you know, please sit down. Just yeah. He'll go sit down and kind of like lean forward.

He's going to have his elbows on his on his knees as he's kind of supporting himself. Kazir mentioned at least one of your worries to us, and I just want you to know that that is far from our goal. We don't want a repeat of what happened. We are people think that we're a dying breed. And we were sent out to hopefully free her to gain some hope. And we're looking to try to take care of her and make her as comfortable as possible and as happy as possible and prevent any extra damage while securing hope. For what it's worth, I just wanted to say it while you're talking.

She absolutely acknowledged you when you came over. She she there wasn't like a thousand yard stairs. She looked up at you and said, please sit down. But you know, when you sit down, it's just kind of staring off into the night sky. The moon's illuminating quite a lot. And it's this gorgeous view of, you know, forests dotting the horizon and stuff like it is. Everything looks so tiny up here after a beat. She's she's going to lean over. It's La Nica, by the way, the Zir has always been bad with names. Believe it or not, I'm his closest friend. And I'm not really worried about dragons in general.

It's it's more your people's interference. And this started a long time ago. It's not just the dragonborn. It's there was one being kept in a city that didn't belong there. There's one being tampered with right now. Magic being pumped into it, wave after wave. And it's only a matter of time before something happens with that. There's going to be a lot of adjustment in the world. Probably starting with this continent and a lot of what you see here is going to get trampled over. Things are going to be slashed and burned, the water is. It's not just you who's going to change, it's everything around you.

And I'm worried that there won't be much of anything to fight over once you're done fighting. Does that make sense? In a sense. Are you talking about us not being here? She's going to kind of like lean over and point to the left. Do you know what's happening to the west? I don't. So over on that coastline, the largest forest on this entire continent was partially erased because the leader of your people at the time decided to use a dragon as a temper tantrum. And right now, the rest of the forest is about to be fought over by a tribe of orcs and the elves who've lived there.

That's just that coastline. And there's things like that happening all over, or they're about to happen. Let's say your leader right now gets what they want and you have a dragon at your disposal. And let's say things don't develop in a way that he wants. What do you think would happen if it goes that far? I hope it wouldn't come to it, but maybe we would see a repeat. How do we prevent that? How do we? I don't know. What do we do? Let's put that on the shelf for now. Let me ask you a question. What do you want for your people? I think at the end of the day, I think I would wish for what everyone else would wish for.

Just peace. Being able to go back to my family, see my kids again, and be able to spend time with them, knowing that they're going to be taken care of, knowing that they're not going to be harmed. Personally, that's what I want to see. There's going to be this long pregnant pause. I know your people respect strength and they probably respect that over everything else, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to follow the person who's best in a fight. She's going to pat your leg a couple of times. I've talked your ear off enough. Whatever your gang decides to do, just try to think about the future.

If I may, and I may be crossing the line a little bit, but what would your recommendation be? I would put it this way. There are far too few of your people left. Maybe a bit of course correction should be thought about so that your numbers don't keep dwindling. That's a big fight. But I understand what you're saying. I would get back to your party before... Seer's going to get him drunk eventually. It is going to happen, so... At this point, they may actually appreciate that, and all the aches a little bit, but I appreciate your time. I'll keep the snow light for tonight, but you should all probably head out in the morning.

So cut over to us, and Omo has a potato inside the two pieces of meat and say, "Now this is what I call a sandwich right here. This is delicious." Oh, how did you get this so well seasoned on it? Nevermind otterer. You call it like the double up or something? Something you'd find at the National Chicken Conference. That's right. You would definitely... Alabama nights? You know what I'm talking about. Probably not. No one's going to understand that unless you listen to that. We didn't even record that in the behind the scenes, so it'll make no fucking sense.

Because Xavier and Mandy weren't here yet. That's why they're looking at us like we're fucking idiots. They're piecing it together. Okay, good. I barely know what I'm talking about. That's something to do with my job. We'll put it that way. If you want to know more, tag me on the Discord. I'll mention it there. Yeah, I'll tell you all about it. Bama Chicken Con 2024, it's coming. Let's go. All about the chicken wars. So there is going to be a full cask, like just a barrel of booze on tap sitting there because you got to wash down the steak with something. So it's just a free flowing ale.

How did that appear? Like what was the... There's no like effects or anything. It's just like... I would imagine it's just like it's almost an absent minded like on thirsty and just reaches behind him and pulls into frame a whole barrel of like... Magic edit shit. Yeah, it just is. Yeah. Okay. I, I feel like after like, you know, after food, after drink, like one more for the road just spilling down his chest, like he's going to stand up. All right. This has been fun. I'm going to hit the road, though. So... Leaving already a lightweight... Oh, I think, you know what?

I like there's going to be a part of him that just this wide eyed like motherfucker. Really like just that's the first time you've seen him like just kind of like, oh, OK, like you want you want. And he's going to take a take a break. Just like take take one breath. It's a joke. You're the grill master. You do whatever you want. And I'm grateful for it. I named it. You guys, you got an early morning, so I'm going to I'm going to let you all go. Appreciate it. It's nice talking to you. So far, you're the you're the best group I've talked to. I've talked to a couple of real assholes, so it was nice.

It was nice. Well, thank you for your words of wisdom and the food and drink. Anytime you want to grill, we're more than happy to host or whatever. It's delicious. He's going to point at so-so. Walk me out of camp real quick. I just have a couple of words if you got a second. He's going to throw his eyebrows. Kind of like snarl. OK. But then you have to leave. You said so. So he's he he's a little bit shorter than you, but because of those posture, like, you know what I mean? Like it. So just he's he's going to kind of like throw his hand up there around your shoulder for just a second.

I don't know. Walk with me. Walk with me. And once you're out of earshot of the camp, you know, I admire you. I really do. You got some, you got some mopey tendencies, but what happened to your folks is just it's it's not easy. So you trying to relocate, you trying to, you know, kind of be yourself and finding a new home. And it's I've been drinking my point. Stick into your guns and set net dragon free. Whatever happens, I agree it was the right thing to do. All right. I don't think anything should be under someone else's control ever. Yeah, I told you, you and I can get along.

I don't care what I don't care what they plan to do with the Ruth Ammar for their tribe. All I want is to see her free and serve her forever. That's all I'm asking is this not too much to ask. I mean, you serve. And look, that's weird. That's up to you. That's fine. I don't think a dragon should own you either. I'm saying you've done a good job of being your own man. And I think whatever you're looking for. And he's going to like touch your chest. It's in there. It's in here. Not literally, like metaphorically, but it's in there. Because are you sure it's metaphorically?

What are you implying? I'm saying you don't you don't need someone else to make you happy. You don't need to serve anybody. You're a man. Stand up straight. It's going to try to stand up straight, but it doesn't really work out like your spine. Just I see what you mean. But I don't think even as a god, you have the full picture of me. But I'll consider that. Look, I'll be honest, I don't know everything about you or no offense, care specifically about you. I'm saying whatever decision you make, whatever you want to do. Do it for you. OK? OK. All right. I got to hit the road, Tiger.

You you you you you do your thing. Get out there. Be somebody. Cool. All right. No need to talk about the other black dragon. See you. I love that it's phrased like he doesn't know like. Yes, but yeah, he's just going to turn and march into the woods. I forgot about the other dragon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's two black dragons out there. I remember it now. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Yeah, it's OK. We can talk to both now. Yeah. I watch him disappear into the woods and just make sure he just like vanishes. Yeah. He's he's gone. Linique is gone. Everyone's gone. And then just going back to the camp of the group, he's going to put his hand on his chest where we're where to Zier does his chest.

And when he said like, it's inside you, it's just kind of like, you know, claw a little bit at his armor, thinking about those words and walk back to camp as kind of like as kind of like shadowy, smoky like flames just like come out of his hand at that at the same time. I'm painting an image. I'm being very hamfisted with my imagery. It's kind of what D&D is all about. It's fine. Yeah. Are we turning in for the night? Are we getting a long rest? Yeah, let's not even bother with the short rest. Yeah. We're well beyond short rest territory. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And Kriev wouldn't mention that.

Lanika said that she was going to keep the snow light tonight and just to head out at first light while you guys are sleeping. Oh, fuck. Clover's going to hear a voice. And it's very faint. But it's definitely it's definitely female. And it's definitely almost like calling a cat like. Hey. Clover. Clover. Clover. Like just kind of like, you know, like that exaggerating whisper scream. She'll do the cat thing where pop up. Oh, huh, huh, huh, huh. And then reprise like. Mama. Come here. And just. Where? And then like you're going to see this like this kind of like pinkish on like a tiefling arm just like waving from the tree line.

And she's going to start to scamper and be like and then look back at Kriev and be like. Is this count as touching something? I didn't. Are you asking? Oh, no, she's just like to her. Actually the voice. Does this count as touching something? Don't touch me. Just come here. OK. And then just scamper, scamper, scamper, scamper, scamper. So when you when you walk over there, there's going to be there's there's going to be this tiefling lady, a young looking kind of kind of pixie cut type of like just like not dressed for the weather at all. OK, first of all, thanks for coming over.

Really appreciate it. Can I have that deck of cards you have? I'm going to give you something in return. Just I need to. You're going to murder everyone you love if I don't take it away from you. And I loved watching you use it. I really did. But I think two more days with it and we may air is going to turn to soup or something. So I just want I just I'm going to take that from you and I'm going to throw it somewhere and give it to someone else. But for right now, I'm going to give you something in exchange. Is that is that OK? Does that sound good? But I didn't get to show show cousin and and uncle.

I didn't get to show them the fireworks. I said I think they saw. No, no, no. They definitely saw the fireworks. They definitely did. Mm hmm. And she's thinking really hard. She has her eyes scrunched real time, just all the brain cells are trying to like touch in her head and. You said it's bad. What in your hands? Yes. Does that mean everything sparkly I touch is bad? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Keep touching stuff. It's great. I love watching you touch stuff. Seriously. It is. Yeah. He hit you, though, so don't you know, I mean, it's like, you know, we all do stuff that's bad sometimes.

It's fine. That's this isn't that I'm I adore you. I asked you, by the way. And she's kind of like, hold out a hand, just kind of like, OK, it's like this is not bad touch. So just like, OK, shake, shake, shake, shake. Yeah. OK, so I need to I need to do this and leave because too much has been touched already tonight. I shouldn't be touching, but I did. So here's what I'm going to give you. And she's going to hold out her hand. And there's a set of these gorgeous looking die like they have like living sparkles inside of them, each one of them. OK, these are yours.

The only thing I'm going to tell you is use them whenever you want. Each one can only be used once. But something something really nuts is going to happen every time you do it. So if you're ever bored or if you're ever like if there's ever like a long trip and run along, try it. Yeah, exactly. So the thing is, those cards, they weren't made for you. It's not really fun stuff that happens. It's more danger. And you guys got enough things going on. So this will be weird stuff. So you're changing danger for weird. Does that sound good? I don't like danger because danger thing, shiny, mean uncle, bad.

So OK, and just hold it out and just like, OK. So she's going to take the deck of cards and then hand you like this, like it has its own little case and everything like it. So every time you use one, you do get to keep the die. It just doesn't do anything after that. So you still have a full set. Candace, it's lucky? In a sense. I needed a new lucky thing. Thank you. I don't remember your name. It was long or not. It was I asked. But it doesn't matter. Just call me T. T is fine. It's totally fine. So here's what I want you to do. Roll high whenever you use it. Just roll high.

I can roll high. I'm lucky. There you go. OK, thank you. Don't roll low. Roll low. Roll high. OK. If you roll low. Uh huh. Blame it on Kriv. Uncle's good buddy though. No, no, no. It's not his fault. He's got terrible luck. Oh, yeah, I see that. He got drunk real bad on like one thing once. And I think I figured out what that is, but it was bad. I don't know how he did that. I've seen people. Alcoholism? Maybe. I should probably tell him not to do that, right? Totally up to you. But here I I should really leave. But have fun with the dice. I'm going to take these so that you don't murder everyone you love.

So have a great night of sleep. Then good luck. Good luck. Bye. OK. You're my new friend. Goodbye. Bye bye. You're my new friend. Goodbye. You're my new friend. The sun is going to rise and I need to ask you guys a question. Where the hell are you going? Well, if you're asking Zozo, we're still going to Aruthimar, but not for Aruthimar, for me. I'm going to step out of the way and let you guys talk about it, either as a as players or characters, but like I imagine that's the next thing to talk about. Yeah, I know that Olmo is going to try and convince everybody to at least go down to one of those caves where that we used as a pass through before we stuck because we have to get down the mountain anyway.

And we know that that way there will be at least some protection part way down. Yeah, if it's in the right direction. I don't know, like if it's not like it brings us back a day backwards and although I'm not sure, I might be smart. Aruthimar is free. Who knows where Aruthimar is right now? So where do you think Aruthimar is anyway? She was supposed to be in Strahd's lair while she was being controlled. So unless she has a reason to leave, I think we can still probably find her there. Otherwise we can look up to the skies. If we catch her shadow there, she would there.

There she is. Or it's another endless night. I don't know. Is that is it is the endless night over? So the sun rose. OK, OK, that's that's. Yep. I think for now we should go to Aruthimar. Well, OK, so Aruthimar is that way. The one the one because if you remember, what was it that Cosmentor told us? If you want to convince a dragon to like hang out, food and sex are the two main things. And that would mean going to Esterholt to free the other dragon who is OK. That way, it's a baby dragon. We got to stop talking about sex. I don't know. I heard that I thought that it was not anymore.

OK. I mean, yeah, if we go by thousand year old anime, young looking girl logic, maybe. And I'm into that. Don't get me wrong. By the way, he brings up his hand. Aruthimar is like, OK, that's a good question, though. Hey, hey, hey, Han. What do you what do you do now? You were guiding us towards the staff before, but. Where are you up to? You free, Genie? So like when when you opened your palm, like she's going to like sexily, daintily, like drape herself around your thumb. What do you want me to do, big boy? OK. OK, well, I'm I'm I'm on work hours right now, so can you guide us to Aruthimar?

And there's going to be a moment and the you know, it's it's it's going to kind of like blink out for one second. And she's going to just like point in like a north easternly direction. OK. I love you. He puts her back in his cell phone pocket. You really got to get a case for you all see that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. OK. Yeah. There are loves in the open like that's. We just don't see this side of of Zozo very much. Yeah, I mean, feeling she was going to say something lewd and like he closed the thing. Yeah. Shut down my computer screen. OK, well, at least we have a direction now.

So if the plan still holds, Aruthimar, is that a way? Yeah. There is. Something else that we need to discuss and talking with Lanika. She suggested that we or what I interpreted it as of. Changed the way that Dragonborn are living right now. Excuse me, what? What does she not like the bridges? It's not the bridges. The bridges are fine. I think it's more of the destruction of our own people. What? I mean, calling the weak. Yeah. How else are you going to your people supposed to be the strongest? I think there's other ways. Getting into knowledge, into the magic, there's.

All of those talents get purged. And stuffed out before they even get a chance. Yeah. Yeah, like how many great how many great Dragonborn parts never made it into the world? Yeah. Cribs just going to kind of like hold up a hand and kind of like point over like there's one example. Well. It's not my place to decide for for you. If you make it back. That still counts as you being a strongest and you can do politics and after if you want for all I care. Don't get cold feet on me, Crib. We still are planning to speak to Aruthimar, right? That does not change. OK, then only what could happen afterwards?

That's up to Aruthimar, I guess. Maybe we see if we can get her support. If the Dragonborn are going to listen to someone. We're still going to go save that other dragon, right? Well, yeah, it would be nice. Yeah, there's a lot on our plate right now. Yeah, big plate. And no meat or potatoes on the plate right now. That was last night. Yeah, that was good. That was real good. Yeah. By the way, Clover, how are you doing this morning? It's you've been quiet. Oh, I am. She's been kind of staring down because she's been petting the dice. Oh, she gave me this thing and it's really pretty.

So I'm happy and just. Oh, Mr. T, when did he do that? T. Yeah. She gave me this. Just pet pet pet. When did he do that? Like when he was growing. Huh? No. What? It's like I'm looking at my daughter right now, which is caught in a lie. Nothing. I didn't touch anything bad except for the dice and T. That's OK. Are you mad? No, I'm just missing some information. OK, cousin. We're going to build a timeline, OK? Uh huh. So we wake up on the mountain. Lady shows up on the rock. Dwarf God T something shows up. Throws a deer on the ground. Mix us all food. We all eat the food. Food is good.

Crav goes talk over to Lady on the Rock while we're hanging out with what the dwarf got. Mr. T who starts trying to get us drunk. Where in that did you get the dice? I think I got later. Oh, OK. Like so they give him to you right before he left. Right before he left. Sorry. So he he gave them to you after he left. No, after I woke up. But the second this first spirit woke up, not the second woke up. No third book. Second woke up, but not the third woke up. Anyway, I hold on. I just hold it up. OK, hold on, hold on, hold on. Were we asleep when you got these? Yeah.

So Mr. T came a good dream. OK. So Mr. T came back. No, no, not that. No, not the beard, not beard. It was a nice lady. My friend. She's my friend. Omel just looks at Crav. Crav looks at Omel and is like, I'm concerned. I don't know what's happening. This is my new lucky thing. Oh, OK. And just big puppy eyes like. Did T say anything about these? She said that my cards were bad and these are better. So gave me these. The sparkle cards that I never got to see. Yeah. Oh, man, I really wanted to see sparkle. But she said that that you saw them anyway. And I was like, I didn't get it.

But she said these are core. So I was like, oh, OK. OK. Do they sparkle, do you think? They're already sparkly. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Wow. Yeah. Look at all those flecks. Yeah. That's something. I like it. Yeah. So Crav shrugs his shoulders, turns around and goes over to Zozo. You know what is happening here? No, I have to have no clue. I'm just breaking camp here. I mean, I'm going to let these two figure it out. I'm assuming the more gods came by and visit visited us because that's that's what they do, apparently. Before we leave, are there any other gods we need to wait for?

Anyone else? I was told a bad idea. Just making sure. No, no, no. OK. All right. Start slowly walking backwards. God actually says that we're like, all right. Good enough. Guys. It's time to do the thing I was talking about. We're going to do something. Yeah, we're going to do something new. And this will be the last thing we do for the night. So I thought you were ending it before we got there. Oh, no, no, no. I would never I would never do that. Yes, you would. Not today. So we need to get down this mountain. And obviously it took us many, many sessions to get up the mountain.

We're not going to do that again. Really, there's there's a big bad quest to get back to. But here's what we're going to do. We're going to do a big dramatic roll off. These are called epic rolls. You're attempting to do something that is going to take a long time. It's kind of dangerous. And we're going to each have you do one role. There's going to be a difficulty check, just like if I asked you in this case, it's going to be athletics. So it's like, ah, give me an athletics check, everybody. But we're going to average them all together. So let's say if one of you tends to roll a little lower than the others, sometimes we're taking the average.

We're taking the edge right here that only my middle finger can hit. You know, totally get that. Totally get that. I like that it's the number one, like the number you roll a lot. Exactly. Oh, OK. OK, sorry. I'm so sorry. Love you. I love you, too. So the difficulty is 17 and we're going to have you all roll. Are you ready? That's very high. It's high. But here's the thing. Here's the other thing you need to know about epic roles. You don't necessarily have to nail the DC, just don't fail it by a lot. Like nothing's good. Nothing good is going to happen by failing.

But if you fail by a lot, then we're then we're, you know, fucked. Oh, look at that. Oh, no, the rules. Yeah, yeah, I understand why you're so excited. That is so exciting. When you're ready. Clover, you're first. I am first. Oh, and it pops up that little dice icon. Oh, this is amazing right now. Right. And you screenshot that and put it on the episode comes out. Good start. Yeah, actually, hold on one second. Let me let me screenshot it right now. Oh, good, because I thought it's not 17. Yeah. If we put it in our discord. Awesome. Yeah. If we all roll 17, it'll average out to 17.

It's true. That is a quick big if true. Let's go with Zozo next. OK. Oh, I see what's happening here. Oh, 20. Oh, man. Who to go with next? Oh, no, let's go with all my next. And do. Twenty five. Now, who do we have left? Oh, yeah. Criv now, Ryan, I have. OK, I think I have some pretty good odds here. Everyone did an amazing job. They did. And so you'd really have to fuck this up to tank it now. Right. Numbers gone up every time. I see no reason why that would stop happening. That's true. That's exactly just like the house. You don't get a great higher. Never down. It's just like Bitcoin.

It'll never go down. Yes, it's the quarterly sales report from our DNR stock. It's like own Tesla stock. It'll never depreciate like it's just gravy train with biscuit wheels. All right. The longer you wait, the higher the number will be. Well, I mean, that's a success. Does the math go? That was amazing. Now, let's not pay attention to the fact that only one of you failed. And I like this system. If we average it together, it's a team thing. That's pretty cool. Love it. Yeah, beautiful. We're going to get you guys down the mountain over the course of a couple of days.

And I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night. All right. Love those words. Not a good time to stop, but getting down and down. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Warm. I love that roll off system. I it's nice fun. He only needed a six to get it. So I was like, we can do that. I mean, I mean, I have a plus six. So as long as I didn't. Great. It's good. I need that type of support every time. That's why I can have my system. You're one of the people I was thinking of. And it's like, look at you. Now, here's the thing. That system is also going to be used in roll offs and things like that.

We could use it in combat and stuff like that. So those big dramatic roles will have big dramatic visuals now. So I love it. Folks, thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you want to support the show, we absolutely appreciate any support you give us over on our Patreon at patreon.com/dandr. You can get ad free versions of the show. There are bonus episodes that you just don't get in our main feed. There's living in Theria, where you guys ask us questions about a topic. This month, we're covering the new gods. There's a whole bunch of other stuff.

So if you go over to patreon.com/dandr, you can help support the show, get a bunch of extra content on top of that, and you can help make our stuff better and better. We're going to be trying to make episodes a bit longer from now on. We're going to try and pack them full of stuff. But, we'll go into that a little bit more as we get closer. So thank you again for the bottom of my heart. We'll be back soon with another brand new episode of Dungeons & Randomness. Everyone take care. We'll see you then. See you then.