The Great Exchange

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

(glass clinking) - Pickaxe. - When it comes to music, everyone has a totally unique taste. So when a song comes on that perfectly fits your mood, it kind of feels like magic. And at Credit Karma, we do the same thing, but for your finances. We got tired of the financial system, giving broad, impersonal, and irrelevant advice to everybody. So we created a way for you to cut through the noise and find offers and recommendations that make sense for your specific money goals. So you know the guidance you're getting is truly custom to you. Download into a Credit Karma today and get everything you need to outsmart the system.

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Something pops up in the game that made us pause for one full week. You'll be able to tell in the middle of the episode, but it's a really crunchy meta episode, very little role plays. So this will give you a real peek behind the table. We just couldn't do it any other way without leaving you guys in the dust. Obviously we don't want to do that. So we just kind of left everything in. It's a lot of dice rolling. It's a lot of leveling up and stuff, and you'll be able to hear it in the episode. I hope you enjoy it, but if not, I totally understand. Obviously we're still in the middle of a kind of a weird limbo thing with three of the groups up on blocks right now due to life stuff.

But we're going to have more content in here. Don't worry. We will not be taking a break from that. We've already recorded a few of the cast catch-ups and you'll be able to hear those over the coming weeks. We also have a huge surprise and announcement coming a little later this week, but we're waiting for clearance to be able to talk about that. Obviously you can support the show by going to patreon.com/dandr. Thank you so much to everybody who is doing that already. You can join for free. You could join our Discord for free and be notified anytime we release extra content, which is quite a few times throughout the month.

I'll get out of your way now to listen to today's episode. I hope you enjoy. (groaning) Let's do that thing! The way we go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table, starting with James. Hi, I'm James. I play Dagon the not so dead Eladrin. Endurance. I got to take away those 10 levels now. You didn't automatically-- Aren't you not supposed to say Eladrin now either? He's Eladrin. Oh, okay. I thought we were switching to High Elf. Dude, look. Wizards of the Coast has enough to worry about right now. I don't think they're coming after us.

It's fine. Isn't that why we changed? The pennies. Yes, I know. It's just-- I'm just saying that that's what James is afraid of. Oh, I don't know. And Michael. Hi, I'm Michael the very sleepy Fenris Masseur, the warlock charlatan human. Words. What's Fenris's last name? Masura. Masura. M-A-H-S-U-R-A. Oh. Okay. I've never picked up on that before. It's just kind of a saucy French last name. Like, that's nice. Sounds like a-- Oh, the Britain Masura. I mean, my Nada Mitru is last name. That was good though. Kelsey. Did you say me? I did say you. Okay. The two people talked at once that I did not hear either of them.

Not up, Kelsey speak. Hi, I'm Kelsey and I play Calypso Lovelace, the half elf bard, they/them. And Valerie. Hello, I'm Valerie. I use she/her pronouns and I play Matilda Wolf from The Human Rogue. And last and certainly not least, Ian. Hey, I'm Ian, he/him, any, and I play bittersweet, the Thedun Endurant, him/thems. I can say Thedun, right? That's okay. That's ours. I think we came up with that one. Original character, do not steal. (laughing) I know, I was doing a bit. I didn't say it was a good bit, but I was doing a bit. Oh, okay. What was the bit? All right, good bit.

(laughing) Glad to hear the part. I thought there was more, I'm sorry. I was just trying to, I think all of us are half a step slow today and that's okay, it's an edited show. Checking that one off the set. Just checking that one out. And not, did not sway with the audience. I'm gonna do smaller clubs. (laughing) So let's pick things up. James, we're starting with you. Hmm. That's right, you're on the spot right away, let's go. Okay, so. You are just gonna like, boom, snap. And you're back in that room, that burn it down mural is on the wall. This is clearly like the same office.

That door is gone though, gone. And Tani's going to like, she's going to be there when you get there, but like she's kind of like taking a knee, like just kind of like exhausted. And she's gonna grab your hand as soon as she stands up and start running. And she's not even gonna say a word at first, but like forcefully grab your hand and just start running out of the room. Unless you resist, of course. How strong is she? (laughing) Not terribly, but. Like I'm an eight. It's against Dagon. (laughing) Am I flapping in the wind behind her as she's dragging me or?

Yeah, it's real. I'm a toon, to resist. Like it's, yeah. Question, when you say that the door is gone, does that mean like the doorframe and everything is just like? Gone, absolutely gone. Like it never existed. Like no sign it was there in the first place, okay. I mean like the stuff that was piled around, it's still there and everything, but the door itself is gone. And yeah, obviously the door to the, the regular door is still there. That's good. Yeah, not all doors. Doors are expensive. It's true. It's up and doors don't exist. It doesn't exist guys. No privacy forever.

It's bead currents or nothing. Oh no, not bead currents. (laughing) So, I mean, he'll probably start moving with her just because he just popped back into existence, right? Or whatever. But then slowly start resisting, you know, and stop shy of the door out of this room. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, what? Why, what are you running from? There's okay, so there's a split second where she looks back, it's like, why, why are you persistent? Let's go like that. Like, like it should just be common knowledge. And then she's, she's gonna stop for a second.

I'm not running from anything. It's the same thing we should be running toward. Wait, who'd you sit with? (laughing) Like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Like a little poster note. Where is that name? In the invasion chat, if you scroll up a bit last time, I put in the reference. Iashti, is that it? Iashti? Iashti and Eros. Iashti. Eros didn't say much, that's fine. No, and I regret not talking to him, but too late now. He apparently was the main driving force behind resurrecting you. (laughing) Which is fine. I mean, he'll be around, like he's not going anywhere.

Like. I was with a tiefling, Iashti, and some sparkling fellow. (laughing) Okay, so she's again, like, just kind of like trying to tug you along. Okay, I sat with someone completely different and I kind of, I kind of sort of made a deal to come back and we got to get downstairs now. Like now, now, like yesterday, now. Okay, well, we'll get down there. Who did you talk to? I mean, other gods, I guess. Like they didn't say they were gods, but like, I mean, come on, right? Like they had to be. They were. I knew it, I knew it. Okay, but seriously, our friends are gonna die.

What did they tell you? They said that if we came back, me specifically, I guess you, you're like teacher's pet or something, like someone likes you, I don't know. But like they said, if we came back, everything from that thing came back. So that thing that was chasing us is gonna show up soon and it's gonna show up downstairs and we need to hurry. They said they couldn't get rid of it. It's just like, you know, kind of a bulk deal. Like again, this would be great if we could be running and talking. I just find it odd that they didn't mention this to me.

Well, I assume you got some, again, you're special or whatever. So you've probably got like a foot rub or something. I got a dice. See, you got gifts. Can I see it? He'll show it to her. She's gonna reach out and like kind of grasp it. Have you tried it out yet? He'll pull it back. No, no. Is it like, wait, can we like talk? It's weighing on me. This is not a good thing. Okay. I'm in debt to a God now. And if I roll this die. They hustled you with it already, I knew it. Let's go. And like, again, just kind of drop that line of thought and just start running again.

Let's cut down standards. What a fucking house. Witch God. He's now infested. Well, I guess Tani got her ghost. It's her. Yeah. Okay. It's about to get sticky. Not literally. That's not literally. The situation is going to get sticky. That's not a weird euphemism. Any better way to phrase it. No, it's not. Oh man. It's going to be my new catchphrase. Things about to get sticky. Let's do that thing where we get sticky. (laughing) I don't think that's going to take off. You start your Onlyfans. Bad mental images here guys. Stop. Can we, let's go inside the mind of Fenris.

Let's do that. How about that? So, every once in a while, I almost call you Mike. And every time in my head is like, no, I'd rather say get sticky. Like it just doesn't grow off the tongue right. It just, you know. Michael, paint us a picture. Like, what's it like inside your brain? Well, Fenris' brain. You want the water part or post the water part? Well, yeah, we already got, so like tentacles come up, grab your underwater. Like what do you wake up to? What's your, I guess, what's your demonic happy place? Like what's the meeting space like? So it sinks lower into this black, the ocean of purple water.

And then it seems as if we're on like an island platform, but the water kind of just disappears. And there are like fragmented mirrors of fragmented different versions of me that are just floating around. And I kind of walk and go around this like beach little island until I'm talked to. And sometimes it might take a while. Sometimes it's immediate, but it's a place where I kind of see fractions of myself, kind of memories, but I'm not quite sure if it's memories, but I kind of just shock it up to, it could be anything 'cause I really don't know. So when you've done this in the past, is it a place where Fenris is like on edge?

Does he feel comfortable? Is it just old hat at this point? - It's actually strangely comforting because on the outside he knows, he kind of feels like he's not, like he's missing something. But when he's in here, it's almost like when you're like outward looking in, he sees it there and it's all slightly comforting to recognize it and say like, "Ah, if only I could fit the puzzle pieces together." And that's why I'm here because my patron is maybe that piece that I'm missing. It's got to feel oddly more complete here. - Well, it's not gonna take long for there to be a voice and it almost feels like the space itself is communicating with you.

Your patron very rarely presents themselves. Like it's more like dancing lights or shimmers or something like that. It's usually like you get the sense that they're almost shouting through a tube at you. Like the connection is tenuous and the gap between, like especially in recent months, it feels like there's a bit of it's like, "Oh, you're breaking up" type of thing. Like you can kind of feel like that. But whenever it's you that's reaching out to them, it always feels like you've interrupted them. Like they were in the middle of something. It's like, "Oh, I guess I'll make time for this." But whenever they reach out to you, it's kind of like, "Hey buddy, what's up?" Like that type of thing.

It's like, "Oh man, I got some errands." Like that type of thing. But you get the sense that if they didn't have a use for you then they probably either wouldn't speak or wait till they had a use to like, you know? - Yeah. - Yeah. - But it's almost a little cold and kind of business like, "You summoned me." - It's good to hear from you. I know you're really busy, but I've, it's crazy and I love crazy. I love chaos, that's why we're here. But things just don't feel like they're coming up on the right. The great cards aren't coming up it feels. And kind of seeing if maybe there's a little bit of chaos to flip those cards in the right direction.

- I'll admit there've been some changes recently. It's altered our pact a bit. (sniffs) And it just kind of hangs in the air for a minute. It's like, you're gonna continue that thought? Or like just... - Should I be concerned? Are we still on the same path? If it's the end goal? - Everything remains the same in the end. The path there might be a bit more winding. Your friends have been communicating with gods and that forces me to be a bit more hands-on with you in the future. We might need to speed things up. - My friends, I'm assuming those in which I'm here to, honestly, I was hoping to ask to help to get them back 'cause they kind of got eradicated somehow through a dead dude that has this crazy mansion with switches and stuff.

I don't really totally get it, but yeah. - They're quite alive, but you might wish they were dead in a minute. Something is coming for all of us. All of you. And I would say you only have a few more moments to prepare. - Something? Is there, since they're okay and they had some intervention without my help, but I, maybe I can still say I helped them. Is there anything that I should be aware of that maybe you can help me with this thing or should be warned about or a weakness, I don't know, something? - Because it was summoned by a god, I have very little to say.

However, if I were to offer you assistance, it would fall under the directive of our pact. But nothing is free. - Life's not free. - Which is to say my friends would be interested in what I could offer them. - Maybe. Hence, but maybe. - Something is gonna materialize in front of you. It's pretty bright and it's this small purple, it almost looks like, it almost looks like a totally spherical diamond type of thing. Like it just looks like it's catching the light every which way. And it's gonna hover right in front of you. - Like I said, you only have a few moments before this devourer of magic arrives.

If you take this back, what you dedicate to it, will return power to you tenfold. - How do I dedicate to it? And are there limitations of what I can dedicate? - It requires life for us. You will age as much as you wish to. And picture those years of aging as training. You get to fast forward and gain the knowledge you would have had, without actually having studied anything. - It's a possibility in a gem, and I don't even think and I take it. - I can slow down what's about to happen while you talk to your friends. They are more than welcome to use the gem as well.

- Act quickly, Fenris. - And you can kind of like, whatever the demonic version of like click, like hanging up like that, you kind of, you know. - I'm used to that by now. What's like a, he knows he has to have the final say, so he knows he's the one person he can't say yes I am to. He like, he's like. - Fine, whatever. He gave me, I don't know, life gem or whatever. Fine, I don't, fuck it. Everyone's got a gift except for Tandy. Tandy got a monster technically. It's not a fair trade, not great. But she's not a clone of a famous person. So boom, just like that, you wake up.

Everyone else, while you're speaking to Abernathy, that image is going to kind of distort and blink out as the lights in this room dim, almost like an emergency generators activated type of thing. Like everything's drained out of this room and you can kind of feel it shake, like just kind of like a mild tremor as Fenris comes to. - Do you say anything when you, is it more of a like, ah, or you wake up screaming or like, how's it feel? - I'd say the one thing that happens every single time is it's almost like he's been holding his breath 'cause he's been underwater, so it's that image.

And so as every single time he just wakes up with that, like that, like you just came out from a deep, you're rushing to the top of the ocean. In fact, he's probably as the demonic leaves, he brings you back and you have to like swim yourself out to the top of the water and then you wake up. And so is that, 'cause I mean, nah. - He would be a dick and just drop you off, like in the middle, it's like, he'll figure it out. And he's like. - It just builds character, was the reason why he's asked, you know, like it's probably not true. - Drop straps, like just let him go, like it's fine.

- Yeah, so, which will probably get the attention of everybody that I just went down to sleep nicely and then I'm like, (gasps) (laughs) And then I regain and look at everybody. I assume Abernathy blinked out for a moment and then went dim. - Yeah, like his, like that just blinked out. Like he's, it doesn't, it looks like the gem doesn't have enough power right now to like, yeah. - Oh, Abernathy just turned off, like. - Kind of, yeah, it's like you lost the signal. Like he might still be around or there, but like, yeah. - Okay, gotcha. - What is the gem like that he came out of like?

- It's kind of this flat bejeweled surface. It's just kind of like sitting on the floor. It looks like if you maybe put a dagger into there and kind of like wedged it out, you could grab it, but yeah. - Okay, so we could pick it up, that's. - So I stand up. - Hey guys, got some news. We don't have long. - Calypso just sighs. It's like, they have been kind of like waiting for something like that phrase to like happen the entire time they've been here. Just like, like what is everything gonna go horribly wrong? Because they've never had a mission where anything does go horribly wrong.

So this is just like, okay, yep, this is. And they just look tired. Like. - It's fair. Honestly though, this is the most that's gone right for Calypso in terms of. - As far as they know, they just got two teenagers killed. They know basically nothing about the situation they're in, except for they now apparently own doors that are powered by children's souls. Like nothing about this is really great. I'm gonna be honest. - That's fair. You know what? I think it depends on wording. I was being too optimistic, you're right. - Like the best thing about this was at least I got a cold mansion out of it that I can maybe like renovate or do some things with.

And now that's ruined too. So it's like. - It's not necessarily ruined. - It's kind of like, you know. So, okay. Fenris comes to, says, we don't have much time. Then what? Like, is there a follow up to that? - Yeah, yeah. So. - That's what we're waiting for. - More than that, does your patron tell you that we're all about to die or something? - Potentially, but on the good side, Dagon and Tani should be here soon. They're safe. - Okay, so he was lying to us. Well, that's good to know at least. - Well, they were gonna die, but they're not. But on top of that, there's this like magic devour thing that came back or was brought by gods, which doesn't make sense, but sure.

And it's coming to murder all of us. - Good, great. But Calypso walks over and starts trying to like pull up the gem thing that Abernathy was in to try and like take it or something. - Oh, speaking of gems, as he sees you go forward. - Have I got a deal for you? - Oh, also, what was it? - Can I offer you? - I would like to cast Enhance Ability on myself, please. Like to give myself advantage on strength checks for an hour. - Yeah, that could come in handy. - Yeah, 'cause A, like pulling up the stem thing, B, having to run and maybe make athletic checks, my strength's an eight.

So that would be good. So I'm gonna just see if I can. - Give me a little athletics check. - Hold on, let me cast this spell first. Let's see. - Sure. - Okay, so. - Do you have a feather from a beast? I'm joking, I don't give a shit. - It can be fur or feather, excuse you. - Get a little dumpy, a little bit of dumpy out. - By the way, you're gonna have to take dumpy to the vet pretty soon. - Uh oh, why? - 'Cause his pythons are sick. (all laughing) - Plus two, plus two. - Thank you. - Okay, yeah, so I'll just do it. Okay, so athletics, with advantage. - Oh, we'll drop that six, let's take an eight.

- Yeah. - Oh, you're rolling with a zero, shit. - Okay, no. Whatever, doesn't matter. I thought you were rolling with a plus one. - No, I'm rolling with a minus one. I don't know why it's like canceled out. - I don't either, it's fine. There's a lot of math in that, it's fine. - Plus one plus ability to. - Oh, it's because I have half proficiency from Bard, that's why. - Ah. - Well, either way, 18, gorgeous. So you're gonna kind of get under here and you could tell it's inset into the floor, but not in such a way that like, it's like, just come on, come on. So you're gonna be able to pry this thing out of there.

And at the worst, cool gym. You can probably sell that, so that's neat. Fenris, you come out of a stupor, everyone's talking to Abernathy, all of a sudden lights go out, Abernathy goes away. (gasps) Like you're back and you're like, guys, shit's happening, they're not dead, but probably should be, and something's coming to kill us. Can I offer you a gobstopper? Like you pull that out. - I mean, that tracks. And I ask now, I don't know how much training or time, if you had like, I don't know, a year to go train on something, if you feel like, man, if only I could have done this amount of training, this would be not a problem.

And I love selling it for my patron, don't I? - You should push our Patreon. Like it's the same, it's almost the same thing, just like. - There's only one extra letter. - It really, yeah, no, this is true. We sold our soul to listeners, like it's just, it's the same thing. And you think this content's great, you should check out our Patreon. All right. If you could just take that little bit of extra time that you think might give you the edge, I have been given something that could delay the inevitable and maybe go against the impossible by just having that edge of extra time to study something.

- I, I-- - From your demon friend, is that what you're offering us? - Demon friend? - Oh, that's Avadaith, he told us about that. Sorry, it's probably a bit rude, but if you're offering us something that'll apparently drain our life for us, I'm kind of a bit suspicious. - I walk over to Fenris as if I'm going for the gem, but I would actually like to pick him up and start moving out of this room. - Oh, okay. - Would Fenris, would Fenris resist or like, not that he has much resistance in him, but like, you know. - Well, I think the question might be, if we're gonna fight, would you fight in here or do you wanna fight in the room with the potentially exhaustion-creating beasts or not because we blended them?

I don't know, does it make sense to fight here? Is it most defensible or if we keep going or we'll get placed in a, so. - Let me ask you a question. - Sure. - Knowing that you don't have a lot of time, let's say we could have you roll for it, but why embarrass you? - I think Bittersweet would probably pick you up. - It's like three times. - Three levels of exhaustion, like it's bad. - Fenris is pretty small. - If I was gonna try to negotiate, like, no, we should fight here. If I'm thinking, does this place look like a defensible place or more like, nah, that tracks and I would just let him, like, either way.

- Physically, I was just asking, are you gonna wiggle? Like that's mostly like, like the verbal stuff can come once you're kind of, you know, so. - He likes being carried. It's like, oh, I don't have to do anything. So that's fine. - I like to think he's saying this as, as we're leaving the room. He's like, well, if we fight in this room, it's like, well, so, does Fenris use the gym? Like, what if you walk into the next room and just like shit starts happening? Like, you know, you don't have much time. You just don't know how much not time you have. - I think Fenris, as we're, as he's being carried away and looking at everyone, is like, you'll have to let me know guys, if you want to.

But I have almost died many a times. Probably literally died once already. I'm not gonna let it happen again. And so, yes, he does. - Clifton has also almost died many of times. None of those times would have been helped by knowing Bard stuff better. (laughing) - That's where multi-classing comes in Kelsey. - I know that, but it's like, - Take some barbarians. - Like out of character, like into game wise, like Clifton's been a higher level than this by a lot. And it's still almost died. It's like, no, no, I'm good. None of that would have helped anything. - So when you activate this, right?

It feels like time's gonna slow down to a crawl. Picture any video game where they have bullet time, right? Like just, whoa. So you're being carried, but it's like, whoa. Like you're, you know, you're kind of being, you know. And instantly, you feel like you're being presented with a prompt. You understand the mechanics of this. You understand what's being presented. It's almost like there's a contract before you and you're ordering off the demon ala carte menu, right? So like you are signing away literal years of your life to mechanically level up. But in world, it's like, I'll have access to things like maybe a third spell slot, like, holy shit.

You know what I mean? Like mind blowing warlock powers. (laughter) - Here's how it works. I mean, here's how it works. You can gain as many levels as you want right now. For every level you gain, we're gonna add a D6 and you will age that many years. The problem is you only get so many years to live and you don't know when your body's just gonna shit itself and just like done. Like, so you're like, don't get too greedy is the mantra. But right now you have a blank check. The crazy thing is this is gonna radiate out. And in that instant, every single party member is going to be presented with the same option.

- Even the ones not in the room? - Even the ones not in the room, just boom. As they're like running down the stairs, it's like, ah, ah, ah. - What the fuck? - Oh no, Tammy. - It's like, I don't know what they did, but they did something. Like, it's just like, again, it's like time slows down to a crawl. - No, our teenagers, they're gonna grow up. - Hey, Aladdin live a long time. I got room to work with here. - Yeah, I do. - And I need hit points. - You have to get a lot of levels. - Here's what I may be describing poorly. I think I'm, so, okay. Your physical body doesn't age.

We're shaving years off the back end. - Okay, that's good to know. - Physically, you're the same. What we're doing is lowering your cap, right? It's like, okay, humans, viably as adventurers in your fifties, you gotta hang it up. You know what I mean? Wizards are different, like magic casters are a little different, but if you're an upfront person, you know, other races have other windows to play with, but like considering there's a demon sitting on the other side, just like waiting for that delicious soul. Like it's like, ooh, I can't wait. Like you're in the microwave right now and he's just waiting for the ding.

So what you're doing is just shaving off that back end. So I have a cap for each one of you on this end of your life that I cannot tell you. Does that make sense? Have I described this or have I just muddied the waters even more? I have been drinking. I mean, if I- (laughing) Say for me, Aladrin lived quite long. Sure. If I wanted to say do 10 levels and I had to roll d6s and say I even got 60, say I got the worst rolls possible. Yeah. Then he's only like 76. Right. That's like midlife. Well, okay. Or is it? So, well, I mean, okay. There's a big asterisk next to that.

It's like some rules and terms may apply. Like it's, you know what I mean? Like, okay, obviously if someone deactivates that artifact in Odysseus, you just cease being already. Like it doesn't matter, right? And past a certain point of levels, the dice value does go up. Like I didn't know 10 was on the table, but like first few levels, it's a d6, then a d8, then a d10. And you know, like it's, you know, that you're accelerating. It's like you're hitting fast forward, you know. And what kind of strings are attached to this? Is it just taking some life essence or is there some like, some something you owe when you do that?

No. I mean, I think shaving years off your life, like, okay, if someone walked up to you right now and it's like, look, here's a bank account, a savings account, and you're gonna make this much interest off of, you know, I'll give you a thousand dollars for every year of your life you trade away. And you have no idea how long you're gonna live, but like, you know what I mean? You get to have 20 years of $20,000 with interest just accumulating. It's like, you kind of think twice, especially nowadays, like you'd go, well, like you'd kind of think it out.

It's like, I don't know, shaving them off the back end. Those are the shitty 10 years. Like, I don't know, those are the diaper years. Yeah, because I think all of us like assume, it's like, well. And sorry, one more thing. When this thing pops up in front of our faces or whatever it is, do we understand what it is? Or are we just like, what is this? Instantly, like it is just like you get, it's like someone's giving you the TLDR. Like you understand instantly this knowledge is just, you know. Do we know if this is like, it's like a one-time use thing, or does Fenris have this crystal around for a while?

This is your chance. This is your chance. This is your moment. You know what I mean? Are you gonna capture it or let it slip basically? Gotcha, gotcha. That's a demon bluff. Yeah. Still wants our life. So who's in? Man, I don't know, it's tough. 'Cause I don't think, I don't think BitterSweet is about to fuck with no demons, period. Yeah, that's my question. So like, is like. I think the big question though. What's happening to those years getting shaved off the back end? Well, I mean it basically, so okay. This demon deals in statistics, odds, chance, opportunity.

Like it deals in what could be. And what it's doing is it's taking those years where like every year it's taking, it's like, oh my God, there's a thousand stories potentially in here. I am taking your potential. That's what it gets off on. So the deal is done. It doesn't get your soul. It doesn't, you don't automatically go to hell. It's just devouring those years. So what people with this particular demon, what people do, it's like, look, I'm trading, you know, I'm trading my future for a better present. You know what I mean? Man, yeah, that's tough. I think for me, for Dagon, I think he's gonna take it because A, he knows this magic devouring creature that cannot be easily killed is right behind them.

So either he takes it or he runs as far, as fast and far as he can. But he also knows. I would also say, you guys can message me. You don't have to say out loud to anyone else how many years you're shaving off or how many levels you're getting. But I'm so bad at making decisions. (laughing) I was gonna say too, like your point with the Yurion, it's like, he could be gone tomorrow. So. Yeah, true. Trust in this role. Higher city defending that thing. All the variants have been living with that knowledge. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty shitty. Yeah. I mean, given the statistics of living in Varian, it's not that much worse than everyone else.

It's just such a cruel, it's like, okay, you're of, like of the races in Varia, you have one of the greatest life expectancies that could be snuffed out in any moment. Like it's a cruel irony. I just wanna- What's the average lifespan of half elves? I know like you probably did some like roles or something to figure out. I mean, half elves, like once you put human in there, you kind of fuck up the bloodline a little bit. It's like every human eventually gets hip dysplasia. Like it's, you know, so like you're, it's like 80 is a good run and then like 95 to 100 if you're like, if you treat yourself well.

Val, you were gonna ask a question? Oh, yeah. I just want to make sure I was remembering correctly because the room that we're in has like all of the fucking doors, like in it, right? Yes. Yeah, okay. My thoughts on that and like Calypso's also was like, when this happened, like in the process of like starting to rent out the room, I don't wanna go in a magic teleporting door when there is something called a devour of magic about to show up. That came from an apparent in between dimension that came from a door. Like this just, this is too much going on there that going in the teleportation door seems like a bad idea.

Also, you know your two friends are alive, but not with you currently. That kind of throws a wrinkle into the whole let's escape situation. I mean, unless they're not that close. If we walk out and the thing is right there, like in front of the door, there's no way for us to get around it, then yeah, I'll take my chances, but like. And that's the only city by. Well, that's where bittersweet I think is going with, and I think he motions to Matilda, like we're leaving now. But he's looking for, he's looking for the kids and he's going to the last place that he saw them, which was in that room.

So that's where he's going. Probably close by now though. Yeah, well, everything's kind of slow until everyone makes a decision. I was like, I know in the last session, I kind of steamrolled you because of things that were going on, but you wanted to leave the room. You wanted to get out there. I haven't forgot about that. No worries. You're just carrying a mage. Well, a warlock. Yeah. Yeah, but in this time stand still, I feel like this is bittersweet spawn moment almost and like he thought- The movie I hope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) There are a lot of meetings that could have happened.

Spawn, the Todd McFarlane spawn. Oh, oh, okay. But I think he thought that these, that Dagon and Tani were gone and he kind of felt responsible for that and to hear that they're back and that we are in this like, he wants to get out of there. He doesn't want to fight this thing, but if there's a chance that they are, could end up getting killed again, I think he has the chance to like do something about it now if they need to. So I think he's going to do it because he can help people now. Yeah, yeah. How many are you thinking? Two, I think two. Yeah, I think he'll sacrifice some of his life so he can help people now.

And that means the kids and that means Tilda and Calypso and the people he left in Brightport, if they get out of here and the rest of the Thedens, if they get out of here, like he can help people now and that's important. Here's what we're going to do. All of you have made your decisions independently of one another, but obviously we're going to have to discuss that now. And I'm going to go around the table one by one and I'm going to ask you how many levels you took and then we're going to make sure your character is all leveled up, ready to go and we're going to shave years off the back end after that.

So we're going to start with Michael. So. Michael, how many, how many levels did you take? I rolled a die and it was a four. Now I'm willing to play a game and say, I could roll here and if it's higher than a four, do that same roll and if it gets the max, go up or if it's lower, it's four or lower, just stick with my four. You're more than welcome. I, here's the thing. I know this is a rare occasion where we weren't like rolling for hit points, we were only doing this yet. So like we're kind of left to our own devices. So I didn't see the roll, but it's your decision anyway.

So if you want to roll on the table, that's just good content. I love to react to things. All right, so here's the rule set. If it's, all right, I'm going to roll a D6. If it's a six, I roll a D8, it's exploding. And if it's four or lower, it'll stay a four. If it's greater and it's not the max, it'll be that number. So I have a potential to even get all the way up to level 20 and kill myself immediately or have a four and nothing's changed, but I figured it'd be fun. Chaotic, 'cause that's what Fenris is all about. - Go right ahead, give me a D6. - All right.

(laughing) Okay, all right. Well, that means I now roll a D8 and we'll hopefully we'll see what we get here. - What if Fenris just turns to dust in front of us? Like he drank from the wrong chalice. Like it's entertaining. - It's a two. - So that's a two. Are you taking, so you're, are you taking? - Okay, so that was the rule. It was like, whatever it is, if it's four less, it'll be a four. If it was five, six, seven, eight would have become a 12. And then I'd roll until it was maxed. - Sure. - It was still fun. - What does that bring you to total? - Eight. - Level eight, okay.

Val, how many levels did we choose? - So, Matilda decided to, she decided to, ooh. Now I'm like changing my mind right now. - Matilda was very indecisive. - Go with your heart. Like what does it say in here? - So my original, when it was like first talked about, Matilda did not want to take any levels. - Sure. - And then I thought about it and I was like, well, maybe she'll take like one. But I, after going through like all of the events and stuff that happened, she's not gonna take any levels. - Okay, totally understand. Kels? - Yeah, so I would love to take levels that I was originally going to, but then I thought about it and thought about Calypso.

And I mean, there's a few different reasons for it. I think I talked about it a few on the last episode, but like the first thing is that, so, I don't know if I've talked much about like Calypso's family and their backstory and stuff, but their father is like a tradesman, like businessman. Like that's what, and like, even though like they weren't raised to like, follow him into family business or anything, like they still got like some, like just some stuff they picked up from there. And one of the things is that, don't ever take the first offer that's on the table.

If like, and this is kind of their like thinking, it's like, if the positions were reversed, like this is the kind of offer they would do. Like this is a situation where, we're desperate and this is kind of being offered as like a saving grace kind of thing. And especially coming from a source that they were just told is demonic, like that immediately is tripping a lot of red flags. - Alleged. - Like even though like out of character, I know it's probably legitimately what it is, it's perfectly fine. Like in character, like they don't, like they wouldn't trust this enough to take it, especially not without a chance to negotiate.

So they're not gonna do it. - Totally understand. Totally understand. Ian. - I am gonna take some levels. I think, I think Bitter Sweet was a little bit hesitant about it, but in this sort of like split second decision, you know, he feels a little bit responsible for the two kids getting dead and now he knows that they're back. He feels like he's kind of failed a little bit in helping out the rest of the Thedans, like find a new home and emigrate into the rest of Theria. And so he kind of feels like, this is how I can help people right now. This is like how I can be strong and help the Thedans and get a second chance at helping these kids and maybe even help some of the downtrodden back in Brightport.

And I think he knows that like demons are scary and powerful and can be, you know, evil, but I don't know if he really has the stigma that's associated with that. And right now it seems like all that's being sort of taken away is just a little bit of this life essence. And if he can turn that into something that's like powerful and helpful right now, then he will. So I'm gonna take four levels 'cause that goes up to the next attribute increase. And that feels like a tangible power to me. So that'll be level eight. That's where he's gonna go to. It's a kitty.

This feels like his spawn moment. This feels like the devil offering power, you know, and like you can return to sort of fix the things that you couldn't in life. It's, I think for the most part, it's what you make of it. And it's a hell of a bargain. It's a terrible, it's a terrible thing to have to give up, but it's yeah, like it's kind of how you put it. It could give you power that you could use to change people's lives for the better. Exactly. James. So Dagon's driven by something completely opposite. It's more selfish reasons and it's self-preservation.

He's almost died twice now. He is well aware of the Ureon and if it disappeared or broke or whatever that he would just blink out of existence. I mean, he's fairly confident it's protected well, but who knows? (soft music) And I mean, he's an Aladrin. He probably craves power and knowledge and all that stuff. I mean, even Dagon senior, when he lost his Aladrin power, his Endurant powers, took to the dark side to, you know, get that feeling back. I don't think it's a stretch to say you would have similar feelings. So he is gonna take six levels. Oof. Okay.

Because he figures he's an Aladrin. He's got many years ahead of him. And that is, you know, I think that is, this is interesting because I don't think we've had, well, we definitely haven't had listeners weigh in on this yet. And I would love to see what a lot of, Well, that's gonna be fun. Yeah, I mean, you're gonna get a lot of armchair DMs and a lot of armchair players telling you, you should have done X. And I think a lot of people, I think a lot of people would think about it in terms of race. It's like, well, you could live up to like 130, 140, whatever in Therian terms.

And yeah, you could, you could live longer, but the life, so I've charted out a life expectancy based on decisions you've made so far, based on your current, like, so, oof. Yeah. But our characters don't know this, right? They're like, totally no. So it's like, you know, that wouldn't factor in at all. But again, I mean, if someone walked up to you and said, hey, I'll give you a million dollars and we're gonna shave the last 10 years of your life off. It's like, I think a lot of us would go, yeah, I'll probably live to like what, 80, 90 years of the bedpan years, take them.

Like it's, you know what I mean? Like, but you don't know that. So, so, okay. So what you're saying is, is that Dagon died just to come back alive just to immediately die again, is what you're saying. Okay, but consider that would be extremely funny. It would be at least entertaining. Have you considered how hilarious that would be? (all laughing) He's just gonna immediately go back to Iaushji and she's just gonna laugh at him for like years. And Eros is just gonna shake his head. Maybe he'll get to talk to him this time at least. You know, this person will.

Think of all the crazy stuff Fenris does. And I'm like, if you were to plot a life expectancy of the chaos that she does, and the random like, I'll touch this, I'll grab that. I'll put that on. Yeah. Meanwhile. He's already sold his soul. Calypso, the half-elf who is proven to be pretty much like a coward and very much concerned about taking care of themself and not dying. They're not gonna do it. (laughs) This is very funny. Yeah. I really thought about Tani. And it's- Yeah, I was gonna ask. If it were just her, I think she would take a big old handful of levels.

But I really think under the circumstances, I know that there's really no time, no nothing, but she would wanna know what Dagon was doing. Like, it's like, hey, like, like you're already gonna live longer than her. Like, I mean, statistically speaking, you know what I mean? That's making some big assumptions though. Like, have you ever been happily ever after or something like that? I mean, yeah, it is again, it's all statistical. She's a teenager. (laughs) There is no rationale for that. No. And you know, it's, I mean, she probably, she obviously can't talk to you about it because again, it was all split second in the moment you guys are, but I think she'd wanna get at least to level 10, at least.

And yeah, I think I'd cut it off there. What? But I don't think that she thinks she has a long, long time to live anyway. So this is. What level is she? The same as us, right? Four? Okay. Like, I think she'd get to level 10 and stop, I think. But there was a part of me that it's like, she might wanna go higher, like, 'cause, you know, but I think I'll cut it off. I wanted to go to 17, but that's crazy. That is insane, right? That's a good way. Look, dice roll, like, okay. Every two levels, the dice value goes up. So like the odds are like, come on. Now here's the part where I tell you that you're not starting from level four.

I want all of you to have two free levels, just for the things that you've done in the house. There's a major chunk of the story you guys have unraveled. And while traditionally it's like, you didn't hack an army of monsters apart, but there's a lot of puzzle solving and figuring things out. And you know, you guys coming all the way from Brightport and doing that. So the amount of levels you decided to take start from six, not four. Gotcha. Now I want to take more. (laughing) Don't do that. (laughing) Food party, we set our things in stone, I think. That was the purpose of not telling us that until now.

Ah, that makes sense. (coughing) And I will go. But seed sounds so cool. Do I need to do that in D&D Beyond then? 10. Yes. Okay. Yeah, I will put it up on my stuff. I was expecting to sit back tonight. And I was like, okay. I know, I know. I got to do work. Am I not to touch anything? You really won't have to, not tonight. Yeah. Neither of you, neither of you are going to have to. So theoretically. Do you need to know paths or anything like that? I will. Okay, it's not right. I need to see if the basic math holds out. So, okay. So here's how we're going to do this. To see if I'm going to die first.

Is that what you're saying? No, no, no, no, no. You get on the level of stuff first. Yeah. I guess there's that too. But like, okay, if you know, like you, it's been explained to you that basically whatever you decide, like things even out when you sleep, everything catches up. And so even if you chose to take 20 levels, until you take a long rest, it won't matter. Or, you know, stop for the night, whatever that would count as. So that's got to drive a couple of people mad. And it's just like, well, I just won't sleep. Like it's, it's gotta be like, it's gotta be a little Nightmare on Elm Street-ish.

And you're taking, so you're getting six levels total. So give me, now we could do this the slow way, which is fun to kind of watch. But I think I want to save that for James. 'Cause, okay. (laughing) Okay. So far, Dagon has 12 hit points at level four. Dance Mucky, dance Mucky. No, no, no, no. It's just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I want to watch you grow into a sturdy boy. So if you can give me 66 plus six. Six, six, six Ian. Six, six, six. The number of the beast. Oh, that was D8. I think those are D8s. Yep, hang on. My bad, my bad. Okay. Here's the real roll. Ooh, ooh. Kind of wants two numbers.

Awesome load. Yeah, so that's 19 in total. Okay. So 19 plus what do we got? 23. 42. Okay, James. Mm-hmm. Now we know that you're starting off at 12. Yeah. And you get to roll eight D6s. Let me ask you a question. Are you taking an ability score buff for Khan or something else? Well, how many do I get? Two. So you get one at level eight and then you get one at level 12. I believe that's what I've been putting them into in hopes to get more hit points. Okay. So yeah. So we can roll up to level eight, add the modifier, keep going, that sort of thing. Yeah, that sounds great.

So give me a D6? We'll just start counting up. Okay. Two, okay, we're up to 14. Okay. Give me another one. One. Oh no. Okay, let's take that ability score buff. Now, I will say that your spell cast modifier is charisma based. And if you put one more in there, you'll be up to 20, which is a plus five instead of a plus four. Don't do that. It sounds like you're saying do that, so. I'm not saying anything. Getting up to 20 in your main stat is a good thing to do. Yeah. Okay. (gentle music) And then 11 for Con. Okay, so. Woo woo woo, give me another D6, baby. Okay. This will be for level eight. 'Cause it was five and six, no.

Seven. Yeah, you're starting at four, so five, six, seven, eight. So yeah, keep going, basically. This is seven. Yes. Yeah. Hi. Hey. Okay, you're up to 20, baby, keep going. Give me another D6. Let's have another one of those for level eight. Yeah. Hi. Oh my God, this Dagon may survive. For as long as he has left. All right. Okay, so. Yeah, level nine. Yep. Three. You're up to 28. Okay, this will be for level 10. One. Only Amvin rules over there. 29, this is the last one. Well, no, I'm up to 12, so I have two. Five, six, seven, eight. Yeah, you're right, shit, you're going up to 12, not 10.

My bad. Ah, that's another one. You just crossed the 30 threshold. God. Come on, okay, come on. Okay, okay, baby, you got this, come on. Level 11, come on, baby, come on. Okay, four, four. Yay. Four. That's over half of what I thought. Last one, you could get up to 40 with this roll. I have one more, you sure? Yeah, I don't. I am sure. I don't know if. I think I did them all. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, no, 12, you're right. That was it, shit. I could have lied, but no. No, no, no, no, so you're, okay, level 12. You are up to 34 hit points. That's like almost three times what I had, so.

Yeah, so you also get an ability score buff. Do you want to put those into con? Do you second one, yeah. Yep. Yeah. Let's do it. All right, well, okay, 34, all right. That's... (soft music) More, it's more, it's more. Okay. As long as all the enemies don't level up accordingly. We're not doing oblivion rolls, no, no, no. I have a question, Jason. Hit me. I have hit me. About spells, sorry. The first thing is, so the tiny hut spell is on the bell spark, the bar spell, the bar spell list in the DNR folder. Okay. And a spell? No, like it's like a legal spell. Oh yeah, you're fine, go.

Okay, so it's okay for me to take, okay, I'm just checking. Yes, I'm, yeah. It's more like, it's not, I don't summon a tiny hut. I don't know why it's called that. It's very silly. It's just a force field basically. Yeah, it's a force field thing. It's cool. And it makes sense for eclipse of thing. And then the other thing is the other spell I'm looking to take is I'm just signing between, and I have a backup if like this doesn't work. It's not on the list, but I think it's from a newer book. It's a motivational speech. Oh yeah, I've had people use that before, go for it.

Okay, cool. Is that a, that's good for me to take? It's okay. That is perfectly fine. Awesome, thank you. Of course. Question. Hit me. Mage Armor is banned, right? It is, yes. So is the warlock spell that says another name, but basically does Mage Armor? I, the ban spell list is public. Like I forget. I know. It's like the Mage Armor one is on there, but this one is basically like the warlock version of it, and it's basically Mage Armor. And I'm like, okay. Armor of Agathys, I think that's a bit different. I, well, the other thing is, doesn't it cost a spell slot?

So this is, I think so, but let me look at that real quick. It's Armor of Shadows, which is literally, you can cast Mage Armor on yourself at will without expending a spell slot. (laughs) At will? Oh yeah. That's the warlock invocation, because the warlocks only get like two spell slots. So they get invocation sometimes that let them use a spell for free. I would allow that just because, and please pardon the expression, warlocks are two pump chumps. Like they don't, they don't get a lot. So like, I would say yes. That is awesome. If you're a wizard and you have 15 spell slots, fuck you, you're fine.

Like stand back and cast shit. Like the... (laughs) Cool, 'cause I'm this group's take. Yeah, that's fine. Cool. What a lovely hat, Val. Isn't it great? You look like you're gonna go solve a mystery. Yes. Oh no, no, that's my Sherlock Holmes hat. That's the other one that came with this. Ah. Okay. Now, here's where we find out how much time we're shaving off of everyone. And Michael, we're gonna start with you. Sorry. All right. (gentle music) You took four levels. So it's gonna be two D6s and two D8s. And the total is gonna be the years we're gonna shave off of your life.

Your character's life, to be clear. I don't have the power to take real world years yet. So, all right. Let's do it one at a time. Give me D6. (gentle music) Three, okay. Another D6. I'm in rules. Six. (all exclaiming) The one time you get a six on a D6. (all laughing) I need two D8s as well. Give me D8. Two. Four. Four. Please don't roll an eight, buddy. Don't do it. Three. So in total, we're shaving 16 years off of your life. Cool. (all laughing) It's real funny. It's all considered. Like... Just wait. Ian. Same thing. Ready to do this? Yeah, same thing. Yep, yep. Two D6s, two D8s, so.

All right, here's the first D6. Two. Two. Good start. Keep those low, we like them low. Yeah. Three, so we're up to five years. Very nice. It's like learning a new skill, gone, okay. First D8, here we go. One. One, okay. Oh my God, I'm a little... Two. Okay. Keep that trend going. First six years. Two, oh my God, eight years. Spitter sweetest of all. Wow. I mean, yeah, that's like the best possible outcome pretty much. You know, when you're losing chunks of your life, I'll take it, I'll take it. Okay, now for the main event. James. Oh, we're going there now, okay. Okay, now.

Okay. Six, so two six, two eight, two twenties. Two six, two eight, two tens and two twelves. But I only went up six. You did, sorry. Why am I trying to take more away from you? I don't know. (laughing) What did I do? No, I'm so sorry. So yes, two sixes, two eights, two tens, so. Okay. Here's where I start rolling really well, right? I don't think so. I'm gonna hex you. I want low rolls, let's go. Okay. Let's just roll in pairs here. Nah. No, no, no, no. Okay, four. Four. Okay. Six. Now we're up to 10. Okay. Oh boy. Okay, now we need two d8s. (laughing) Hotty mucky. 17, I've already passed Fenris.

Okay. (laughing) Okay, another d8. Buddy! (laughing) We're up to 25 years, that's a quarter century, dude. Like, nothing. We need to-- Nothing. (laughing) That's like two years for a regular person. Two, okay. Two d10s. Keep it low. Six. 31. 30 with 31. Last one. Come on. Six. 37 years. Yikes. Damn. It could've been worse. When you say that, like, there was some faith involved there. Wow. Okay, well, we gotta do the same thing for Tani. It sounds like I should never rest again. That's the vibe I'm getting from you. That is a personal choice, sir. Okay, well, I only have to rest for four hours now to get all my hit points back, so.

Does that matter? Does the hours matter? It's still a long rest, that's his REM sleep. That's, yeah. Aladrin's just built better, you know. Okay. He'll get hooked on potions. Okay. He looks as ready for import or whatever. We gotta do health first, right? Yes. What was that again? 30, how many? 30? 37. 37 years. Yeah, Kelsey, let's do your health first. Cool. What's your con mod? That's what I'm gonna, plus one. Okay. You're in the back, that's fine. I got more HP than most of my party, and that's terrifying. You start with 24. So, 2d8s. Plus two, I guess? Plus two, yes.

So yeah, we'll just, yeah, do them one at a time. Oh, one at a time? Yeah. Okay. I like the suspense. 1d8, plus one. (soft music) Five. Okay, I'll take that. Okay, up to 29, one more time. Ooh, eight. Ooh, eight. That's 37 coincidentally. (cheering) Okay, so now, yeah, let's see if I can, bring this up to 37. Val, you're up next. Okay. My con modifier is also plus one. Sweet, you're starting from 27. So, give me a d8 plus one. Oopsies, nothing. Nice. Okay, now I can close this one. 31, we're up to 31. One more time. (mumbles) 37, so 38. I'll take it. I'm ready as well.

Okay, give it to me. Okay, I think it's a d8. And my con mod is a plus two. Yeah, you're starting with 39 hit points. So again, yeah, you are the tank. So. Plus six, okay. Up to 45 and you got, Three more? Three more, yeah. Yep. Or, no, it could be, it's two on, just six levels, so five more, oh jeez. There's the two you gave me and the four I took. Shit, you're definitely the tank, yeah, okay. Oh my God, plus 10. Holy shit, you're up to 55. Damn. Four more times. Come on, tank lock. Plus seven, oh my God. You're gonna have more hit points than all of your friends combined.

Started out as a joke has become reality. Okay, one, so that's three in total. Just be careful what I say, otherwise I'm gonna ruin my rolls. You still got two more, so, that's plus five. You're up to 70, last one. Let's do this, please be awesome. Nine, 79 hit points at level 10. Nice. For a warlock, that ain't nothing. Heck yeah, fly. Okay, import it whenever you would like. Sweet, okay. Tanny, gotta do Tanny, so. Oh right, you need to roll her stuff. Yep, yep, yep, yep, okay, so one. So being a blood mage, hit points are everything. And she's gaining six levels, and her con mod's plus two, so that's not bad.

So let's do that first. And I'm not immune to this, so I will go ahead and roll them one at a time. Seven, okay, so that, she's starting at 29. Okay, next one. Whoa, two, so four in total. So 40. That's six, so 46. She got three more to go. Okay, so plus five, 51. Two more to go. Same thing, 56 in total. And last one. Ooh, lot of low rolls, holy shit. So she's up to 59 health. Oh, it was 56, why did I make it 55? You're right, that is 60. I'm done. Do you need to roll for her years? You also gotta see how much she's gonna die. Glad she's on my side. Better not screw that up.

Okay. So she's young, that's, you know. Okay, here we go. Young forever. She's human though, right? She's human? Halfling. Halfling. They live slightly, slightly reduced years. They live about like 10% shorter lifespans. So it's the same as Dagon, two sixes, two D8s, two D10s. Well, they'll both die in their sleep beside each other. That'll be nice. Roll low, roll low, Tani. We got four kicking things off. (sighs) And three, that's seven in total. And we need two D8s. That's a whole bunch of schooling. Okay, that's three, that's 14 in total. A D8, five. So we're up to 19 years shaved off.

Wait a minute. 'Cause then like 15 and this just makes 20 now. Yeah, it's 20 now. Four three. Yeah, four three is seven plus three is 10 plus five. Yeah, 20. I thought I missed one. Okay, and then the last, oh. 29. So we're shaving off 29 years. That makes her adjusted age. What's the back though? 44. It's cutting off from the back, but we don't know. Well, sure, but I mean, if you're talking about average lifespan versus. But it doesn't matter 'cause of the fate. Again, being a bloodmate just gotta shave some years off, right? Yeah. (indistinct) You're just at risk for that so often.

Would a blood mage live to 45? Do you know how much it costs in alcohol swabs just to like it's, there are bold blood mages and old blood mages, but no bold old blood mages. So in the end, we have a very diverse lineup of level ups. Yeah. So good Lord. Are you gonna add the endurance stuff or are we doing that later? I'm gonna drag and drop it. I just, so. Okay. For. Honestly. This session or later? Honestly, we'll probably wrap it up for the night. And what I can do is take all that, we got started a little late, but like what I can do is get your choices for.

So I guess Dagon specifically, like what path did you choose? Did you choose measured response or are you gonna fuck shit up? Like. No, measured response. You just fucked shit up. I mean, I don't think there's enough at stake for him in this party for him to go all out of control. Sure. So. So with measured response, your furious punch, they, the target always has to succeed on a constitution roll or get knocked down. They're going to automate. Yeah, they're automatically going to get a negative two to that save now. So that's awesome. Tremor, which is a fun little, fun little feature here.

You charge your endurance power and emit a blast within a 10 foot radius centered on you. All creatures in the radius must succeed a constitution saving throw and on a failure, they take five D six bludgeoning damage and fall prone on a successful save. Creatures take half as much and don't fall prone. You can also pump that up if you want with fervor points, which expands the damage by one D six and the radius by five feet every time you do it. So you could fuck shit up. And by choosing, by choosing, let's see, yep. By choosing measured response, you gain plus the radius starts at 15 feet instead of 10.

Yeah. You gain overcharge. I'll admit direction, directionless animosity look pretty cool. Like there's some good hitting in there, but it just didn't make sense. Totally. Yeah. So level 10, you get overcharge add this cost you no forever points and you could use it as a bonus action. You get to add two D eight to your damage rolls this turn, all damage rolls at the start of your next turn or instantly at the end of combat. If you do not have a next turn, you gain one level of exhaustion. You can choose to pump as many forever points as you want in there, but you gain that many levels of exhaustion.

Now you have to save against that, which is fine. You automatically now get a plus five to your save. So that's a huge bonus. Against exhaustion? Against exhaustion. Yeah, there's a whole system for endurance. You can basically choose to sacrifice levels of exhaustion to kind of pump yourself up and yeah. And last and certainly not least, you gain an aura, an aura that grants all allies standing within five feet of you an extra attack action whenever they score a critical hit. That's fun. Nice, that's cool. The aura for directionless animosity makes every hit a critical on an 18, 19 or 20.

Yeah, that's really good. Cool. Yeah, it is, but I think an extra hit could be better. An extra attack could be better. I think you chose the right path, even though you couldn't have known what you were going to roll for hit points. Yeah, your total hit points. I think it's better to, you know what I mean? Be able to kind of weave in and out. You don't have to stand up there. To control it a little bit better. A little bit, yeah. Just be like, everyone get around me. I'll help you out, don't worry, but protect me. I'll just stand in front of you. Yeah. And Ian, so you're going to have to make the same decision in a couple of levels, which.

In this level, I think, because I'm level 10 now. Oh, shit, you are. Yeah, this, I forgot. Yeah, you're starting, you're too affordable. So, shit, what are you going to go with? Nothing to fear or fear itself. I'm going to go with fear itself. I think that's the most bittersweet thing. So you guys, there's going to be a constant aura that could potentially overlap while you're like, you guys could be real shake and bake in combat. This could be nasty. I hate my endurant brother. I've never played with two endurance in a campaign that have gotten to this level.

You guys could break shit. Just don't get hit ever. Like don't do that. One caveat. Quick question, does endurant stuff, is that technically magic? It's, they count as abilities. 'Cause like they're not, yeah, it's technically not, it's whatever the cross would be between a monk and like a sorcerer, right? I just, I know we're going up against something that was called like a magic eater or something. So that's just thinking. So does that would be, it would be very funny if like, oh, we've boosted up all our endurance, go punch them and then it just doesn't do anything. 'Cause it eats the magic.

It's pretty, there's really not a huge, there's really not a mechanic in D&D 5e for that. So the biggest gap would be monsters that can only be hit using magic weapons. And endurance powers at their base do count as magic weapons. That is something they just get over. But there are some Therian monsters, however, that yeah, like hitting it with a magical weapon is, yeah. But we'll see. So let's see. Ian, we got some nice class features coming up too. That you've unlocked. Oh, we do? Oh yeah, yeah, I was looking at a few of those, yeah. Those are very nice.

Like improved combat dodge. I was, yeah, I was just gonna say improved combat dodge looks very nice. It's good. That's, I hate to say it, but level 10 is when an endurance gets to be survivable. Like that's when you start getting like, that's like. Unless you have 34 hit points, but hey. Well. You still get the dodge. I'll make it work. You still get that dodge, just never get hit. Yeah, just don't get hit. I've got improved combat dodge, improved in tune and improved tuck and roll. Nice. So Ian, you got entomophobia and pathophobia, which are super useful. Love it.

Fear itself. Creatures make saving throws against your fear effects and they roll at a disadvantage when doing so. Pathophobia, the radius is increased to 15 feet from five and enemy has changed to creature. So it's, you get a little less discriminatory with that. Yeah. Repeated saving throws are at a disadvantage for those targeted by your abilities. That's interesting. Oh, so if they're like, 'cause for a lot of them, it's like every turn they can have a chance to save. Yes. Okay. It's with a disadvantage. Yeah, so. You, that's some real crowd control. And your aura grants all allies standing within five feet of you, an additional one D8 necrotic damage to their attacks.

Oh, that's sick. We're gonna be crazy. Yeah, well. Yeah, we both use our aura at the same time. Everyone just huddle. Huddle. We all huddle. Really, shield ball. Shield ball. Listen, I will set up my tiny hut and we can all get in a little bit cozy and you know, it's gonna be great. Dude, that's gonna be nuts. Like that's a little bit to keep track of, but I'm hoping that the table is gonna do it. Like I think I have it. Just gonna have like so many circles on the table. There will be a lot of circles. I can't do anything about that, but I can make it look pretty.

Yes. (laughs)