Shattered - Part 2

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

Howdy everybody out there, welcome to another episode of Dungeons & Randomness. I know this has taken us so, so, so, so long. But this is the finale to our crossover event. We really hope you enjoy it. Obviously, if you do, make sure to swing on by. Let us know. Give us a review. Check us out on Patreon. You can join our Patreon for free to get updates on stuff. And of course, we are gearing up for Dragon Con. That's right. Labor Day weekend this August. We're going to Dragon Con and we hope to see you there because we're putting on maybe our biggest live show ever.

And we really hope you guys are a part of it. But without further ado, let me get out of the way so you can check out the finale to our crossover event. Let's do that thing! We're going to go around the table and introduce ourselves. I'm Jason. I'm the Dungeon Master going around the table, starting with Jamison. Oh, hey, I'm Jamison. I play Fonculous Honeyhugs. He's a gnome sorcerer. And Zach. What's up? My name is Zach. I play Blevins Elmar Rufifer, the human bard. And Susan. Hey, I'm Susan. I play Tamika Fieldhand, the half shifter, half gnome sorcerer. And new daddy, Alex.

Oh, hey, I'm Alex. I play K'naan, the human warlock. And Jamie, who's very soon to be I'm going to additional mommy? I don't know. I don't know how we're going to put it. Double mommy, double mommy, double mommy. Hello, I'm Jamie. I play Tatiana, the human rogue. And Karen. Hi, I'm Karen, and I played Josephine, the human cleric. Before we go any further, if anyone else is pregnant or planning on it, say so now. Oh, no, that's Reance HR. No, you can't do that. No, you're already hired. I'm not like this is just for planning purposes. And Lisa. Hey, I'm Lisa. And I play Vella, the minotaur rogue.

And Jasper. Hey, everybody, Jasper, I play petrichor mulch, the venali druid. And last and certainly not least, Bree. Hello, I am Brianna Marie and I'm playing Rune, the Phaeton monkly barbarian or barbarian monk. You don't know like monkly. I feel like monkly. Yeah, and it does come first in the in the lineup on my character sheet. So I think monkly barbarian. I just I just pictured the character from USA, Tony Shalhoub's character monk, like really fucking aggressive, though, like super, super adverb. YOCG. Yeah. All right. Here's what's about to happen. You.

Yeah. We are going to get this episode in the can today, and we know we got a huge fight. I have decided after a lot of soul searching, I'm going to come at you. I am not holding back because it wouldn't make any sense for this fight. She is trying to kill. So, yeah, there's no stun weapons here today. We are and I expect you to do the same. You guys have a team of 20. This is this is going to be a breezy little fight. We're just going to get ready and add everybody to the initiative tracker, please. OK, no, Jason, it's like four or six of us. Are you ready for that paperwork?

Bam. Oh. Oh, makes sense. Makes perfect sense. Actually relieved to be low on the initiative this time. Dude, I'm right there with you. It's like, OK, you guys take all your turns first. That's amazing. Thank you. I'm going to just open another browser and practice rolling. Notes on what I could potentially do on my turn for the next 45 minutes or so. As first in the tracker, I already know because it's the same thing I did last time. Yeah, I don't know. I kind of like the timer. It stresses people out. Mostly Jason. Am I the bad guy? No, it's for now. We're just I'll add it.

I'll add it to future sessions, not for the crossover. It's just more important that we're. Yeah, it's OK. So I'm going to say that in combat. Oh, spicy. Holgus is the the the big bad. You guys are fighting in case you forgot, and she is in the initiative tracker twice. So for every round, she is going to go twice and we're going to roll her initiative right now. OK, so terrible. Not at all. She's she's solidly in the middle and towards the end. So, yeah, before this, before we before we hit go, she is in this this kind of magic field that can on set up and the entire time you guys are having a conversation, it doesn't appear as though she's taking it too seriously.

Right. It's not a it's she's not threatened, though it doesn't seem to be threatened by the fact that there's so many people, you know, in this it's not a room anymore. It's in the void. But she's kind of tracing her fingers, long ass nails up and down this thing, and she's going to stick her finger through it and just kind of open a seam. And what's going to happen is it's going to kind of open. And that energy is just going to be floating around the room. And we'll be using that in combat. But we'll we'll unless she's dead before her turn. I mean, that could be a thing.

So. Mm hmm. We are kicking things off with Susan. Tamika, you are up. OK, Tamika is going to look to runes and then Tary and say, you guys stay safe out there. And then she's got a twin spell and do haste on them. I know runes already still has haste, but I will cast it on Tary. OK. And then she's going to be like, that's all I could do. So then I'm going to just get out of the way myself. Over here for everybody, what is haste do real quick? Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. So haste gives them an additional action each turn to do one second. I'm so sorry. So what it looks like, though, is probably just a wind goes out and then goes around them and then they start doing the video game bouncing a little faster.

But until the spell ends, the target speed is doubled. It gains plus two to AC. It has advantage on dexterity saving throws, and it gives an additional action on each of its turns. The the bad thing about it is after the spell's over, they are exhausted. But oh, let's try to make it through this first. OK, so it's there. It's on. Got it. OK. Yes. Lisa. Yeah. Lisa, you were up, though. Yeah. So she's going to real briefly turn to Ian, like right next to her, and she's going to pull out her rapier because I think he only has a dagger at the moment and she's going to get the rapier and she's just going to look at him.

She's going to, you know, make sure that he's like meeting her eye and she's going to be like, we're getting out of this together. OK, don't be stupid. And then she plants one on him. She thought about it was down for the down for the first half. Second half, I lost him a little. Yeah, he was going to embarrass me in front of the boys. So I think it was probably like he's not he's not big on public displays of affection, but like it's like, and then the don't be stupid, it's like like it kind of hits his ear wrong. But like, yeah, I know it came out of my mouth.

I was like, that was the wrong thing to say. But oh, well, she's in the middle of combat. Like she's not thinking like, yeah, it's like, don't be dumb. Come on. If I could touch base. He's still one handed, right? Yeah. Oh, God. This is making sure. All right. All right. Just making sure. Yeah, I didn't grow back any hands. Just yeah, he's good. He's a lefty now. I forgot. I forgot. Oh, well, maybe it's like he's fine. Yeah, it's a nice. So he can use dexterity and then she's going to she doesn't use it very often, but she is going to probably draw her short bow and use that to fire a shot off at whole gas.

And I believe she gets advantage because she has not taken a turn yet. Yep. Yeah, she's going to do that with advantage. Mm hmm. OK, well, wait. That was weird. I don't know why it did that. This is a real it. Oh, OK. What it's doing is it's trying to speed things up. So if that hits, here's damage. If not, don't worry. Like, OK, move on. That's that's actually kind of the advantage. Yes. OK. It's like the first damage. Yeah. Yeah. OK. That's fair. Unless it creates. There we go. OK. Nope. All right. Oh, same damage. Yeah. Max damage either way. Let's see here. That is oh, yeah.

Twenty four. Never mind. You're good. That's definitely. That will be the end of my turn. So got it. OK. No, it's not. Why not? Damage has been done. Lots of lots of damage. OK, I see what they've done. OK, next up is Petrichor. Yep. Give me just a second. I got to get open my sheet. All right. So Petrichor is so he's going to look at this this person demon weirdness. He's sizing everything up. He's going to realize this person is not going to be messing around. Right. They were talking smooth. You know, everything was OK outside in this little before we got in this bubble.

This looks pretty dangerous. So he's going to clap runes on the back and to get attention. And then he's going to be yelling at K'Nan. Runes to Mika, everybody, all the new friends fan out. This one's not going to be messing around with us. And he's going to run one, two, three, four, five, right about here. So he's trying to help coordinate, right? And he's going to just go all out. He's going to cast a spell. He's going to cast acid arrow. Oh, see what happens. Do I need to target? Don't worry about targeting everyone. Listen to me. Fantastic. Do not worry about targeting.

I got this. It's all good. He's going all out. So this is he's taken acid arrow, like not just like, oh, let's just throw a little dart. He's going to and out of his hands, these acid arrows, because, you know, he's a he's a swamp druid, basically. This is going to be I don't even know how to describe it, but it's going to feel more swampy than acid. Right. It's going to feel just kind of gross, kind of more like mud. And if you could smell this, there's this smell that I used that I grew up in South Carolina near the marshes. There's something called Pluff Mud, which is like it's the mud where all the creatures are living in it.

It smells kind of sulfur. So you're going to smell that it's you're going to it's going to crackle and then shoot straight at this creature person. So here we go. Let's see what happens. Oh, third level. OK, OK, great. Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, seven... D4. Jesus Christ. It's just D4s, though, but... -They're sharp. -Some stinky mud. [LAUGHTER] I don't like this swamp-ass, Sid Arrow. I don't like that. Eight should be 8D4. -Here we go. -Ooh. All righty. [HUMMING] So what's happening here is that this is gonna... It's gonna be acid damage. So this is going straight for the face, the torso, just anything to sort of help blind, to put this person off kilter.

As much as anything else from the acid damage. -Oh. -So 19. Jesus. Okay. So that's... You're probably gonna get the first, like, real reaction as this kind of hits upper chest, shoulder area. It's almost like a... Almost like a cat hiss type of thing, as that sizzles. Like, it's gotta be unpleasant. Anything else? Yep. Just to note that... at the end of their next turn, 2D4 plus... it should be another... Slot levels are 7, 3, 4, 5, 3... Sorry, 5D4 at the end of their turn. Ooh. For one turn or just, like, ever? On a hit, the target takes acid damage immediately and then, in this case, 5D4 acid damage at the end of its next turn.

-I just want to... -Okay. So it's just reverberations. -Oh, that's nasty. Okay. Shit. -It's an acid sticking around. -No. -It's a swamp acid too. -Sulfury, I know. -Yeah, it is. Alex is... Sorry. Alexandra, not Alex Alex. Shit. Okay. So she's going to see this arrow take off and everything, and there's kind of a moment of hesitation because she's got this big ass sword and, like, there's... Obviously, this is not... You know, like... Holgos isn't, you know, her wife, but, like, it's in there somewhere. So there's almost a hesitation as she kind of strafes and creeps around to the back, and that's going to be her turn.

That's just double movement to get back there. And that brings up Blevins. Huh. Okay, so I think... is... Are they wearing any, like, move metal armor? No, they're wearing very little, honestly. -Like the... -Nice. Like, if you open it up, it's mostly just... It's just cloth, really. Then let's... Blevins is going to cast... Silence right on her. Oh, shit. I just realized why Karen was laughing. It's like, "Oh, yeah, Zach's a fucking monster." -Yeah, that's right. -Yeah, he's a psychopath. Oh, yeah! Zach will bake your ass alive. That's right. Okay. Fucking legend. Yeah, we're fine.

She's just going to put it in her radius like that. Let's see. I will give... Tatiana, Bardic, inspiration. What? So for anybody who doesn't know, it's a 20-foot radius sphere. It is completely silent in there. No sound can come out of or get into that bubble. They are completely immune to thunder in there, but also it makes spellcasting and such a little tricky. Anything else? That's it for me. And I believe, Tatiana, that's a d8 Bardic inspiration. Nice. Thank you very much. Okay, I gotta roll for something really quick because I gotta see if Eon's gonna be dumb.

I mean, do you need... Probably. It's okay if he is. It's a high roll. Not very dumb. Like, not... Yeah. So he's got this rapier you gave him and he's pretty... You know, just... He is going to step up and he's probably going to go in. He's not a spellcaster. He doesn't... You know, so he's going to get up close and personal. That's his fang. But as he's going past Vella, there's, you know... He's one handed, but he's gonna try and rub his arm up against yours, just kind of like, "Hey, everything's fine." But it's almost like, "Don't worry, I'll take care of this." There's a little bravado there because he's...

Well, he's egotistical. And that's so... That's okay. If I'm being honest, there's more than a little alpha bro in him. True. Just going, "I gotta go by how he's been portrayed." It's just like, no, he's... Yeah. So he's gonna get up close and we're gonna try to use this rapier. Swing! Oh, no! That is not a good start, Ian. That is a crit miss. Yikes. Shit. It was right in the bellhop costume he was wearing. So, okay, let's roll a d6. Thank God I have the book open from yesterday. God knows I know these tables now. So this, sadly, we're rolling on the crit table.

Here we go. Six. Get your hand cut off. Shit. He's gonna pull a muscle. So he's just... He's stiff. It's been a while. He's been dead for a while. It's okay. Yeah, he's been a goblin for a long time. So he's gonna go to swing and he's getting older, but he was like a master swordsman back in the day when he had the other hand. So he goes to swing and just like, he doesn't want... There's a second where it's like... He's gonna be stunned until the end of his next turn. But he's trying to not show that he's hurt, but he's very, very much going to miss. I don't want to drag things down too much, but I need him to make a deception roll to see how well he hides that.

You know what? That's fair. Is Charlie having a condition? Does it help that you couldn't hear him go... I think that's advantage, right? I... Deception with advantage? Like just this... Yeah. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. (groans) Got to stretch it out. Yeah, just cramped up. It's almost just tight. Ian's very good at deception. You'd never guess. He's 14. I don't know how that is. Yeah, look, there's 50 people in the room. You're gonna see it probably. And, you know. Embarrassing. That brings up Holgos. Now, is it the beginning of her turn where she takes more acid damage?

It's the end of her turn, I believe. Let me make sure. End of her turn, OK. Believe it is. End of its next turn, yeah. OK. So the only people in this bubble with her are Ian, K'Nan, and Alex. So... She's got-- oh, this is so cold and terrible. She's not even looking at Ian, and she's going to walk forward to get right up to K'Nan. And Ian can't do anything because he's stunned. So he can't take-- And so it's like, "Shit!" Like, it's so embarrassing. It is the-- This is the first fight he's been in in a very long time, and it's very embarrassing. I think he'd almost wish to die than have that.

At the end of the day, it's like, "So?" You need to tell. Yes. Sorry, I'm just-- I'm reading something. I'm reading it, because I don't know what's going to happen to me. You're just there, preparing. She's going to get right next to K'Nan. Like, right next to it. It, you, him, sorry. And... She's got her finger out like this, and she's got pretty long nails. And... I want to do-- She wants to whisper something in your ear, and I want you to get an attack of opportunity for her trying that. Please go right ahead. Just a regular old melee hit. Just a regular old melee?

You know that I can't do that. You can. Look, we've already set the bar low. Let's... What's in spellcasting? It's V, S, M. V is for? Verbal voice. Verbal. And then somatic. Somatic, man. Material. Fine, fine. Do that Naruto shit. Normal, right? Normal attack. No advantage. Okay. Hey, I missed. Oh, perfect. So as she leans in, like, stab, it's like... And she's going to get right in your ear. I'm going to make you hurt so much. But she's saying it like... Well, I'm going to make you hurt so much. It's a good thing. I'd like to correct you, Game Master, Dungeon Master. She can't make any noise because we're all in the circle of silence.

Here's the thing. It's so... Okay, my understanding, and I'm like... No sound can be created within. Ooh. That's okay. She tries to whisper it. You're like, what? You're muted. But he's muted. So there's nothing to stop her from using telepathy, right? There's nothing to stop her from doing that. That's more. So it's... Yeah, she didn't even need to whisper in your ear. She's just being a bitch. Of course. And springing up next to K'naan are going to be a succubus and incubus. Just like, so you've got all these demons kind of hanging. Just the worst trio. And that's going to be...

So we're going to summon them because we need more. And that's going to be the end of her turn. She's going to take more acid damage. I believe you said 5d4. Yep. Oh, do you want me to roll it? Sorry. Please. Yeah, sorry. I wasn't thinking. Doo doo doo. Boom. Extra nine. Does that happen on every one of her turns too? No, I think it's just once. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the after like sizzle that, you know. Well, that's a bunch of damage. I don't like it. So, OK, that's nine. That's not too terrible. Just... Those OK, those damage numbers are pretty satisfying. I like that.

Same here. K'naan, you're up. Buddy. This is not great. No, it's very bad. That's so good. I mean, I have to... Jamie, you OK? Yes, I'm just stretching. OK. Sorry. Yeah, I'm going to go into labor. No, I make a lot of noises now when I move. That's all. Same. A different reason, but same like it's... Ahhh. Ahhh. Yeah, it's like, ahh. It's just like that. Oh. Yeah, I'm going to disengage. I'm disengaging. OK. I don't know what it looks like, because he's like surrounded by all the... Essentially, all the bad guys are here around him. Yeah. And I would say the first thing that happens is like when she moves in and telepathically speaks to him and sees the demons, he tries to make a noise like, "Whoa." And then he realizes that he's in a silence and in his head cannot see him.

Who the fuck did this? And he's just like... And he tries to think, "Nobody on my team would do this." And he's like, "Oh, one of the new people probably, whatever." And he just brushes off in his own mind. He's like, "Ugh, idiots." And like... Goes back, five... Disengages. I can still make my full movement, or is it only half when I'm disengaging? That's your action. Maybe you're disengaging so your full movement is... Yeah, so you still got 30 or 25. We're going 30, I think, for you. No, I think it's... Yeah, maybe 30, but we're going to go 20. Finally, somebody fanned out.

God! I can't do anything else. Somebody. I completely forgot about that. He's going to shout out to the crowd of the other group. "Hey, thanks, whoever did that." LAUGHTER LAUGHTER "Thanks, whoever did that." LAUGHTER He's going to roll up his sleeves, but that's all he can do. He can't do anything else. He's just going to roll up his sleeves as a free action. Roll up his sleeves. At least he looks cool. Tary. OK, it's Tary's turn. And you're going to... It's a crowded battlefield, right? But if you picture, you know, it's five feet around everybody. So you probably have to turn and slip through the crowd here.

It's like moving around in Dragon Con. So he's going to go right in between Phonculus and runes. And you're going to see him... There's a moment where he's assessing, and he's going to move towards the succubus and... He doesn't want to hit a woman. So he's going to go over to the incubus. Talk about it later. It's a demon either way. What? Sexist, but sweet. So we're going to try and swing at the incubus here. Oh! 19, definitely going to hit. Sure. And he gets an extra action. Oh, that's right. Yeah. That's interesting. Also, what thing is Tary? What's his class?

Because he might have an extra attack as well. Well, he's a fighter. He's 18th level paladin at this point, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Technically, his entire thing was he was going to go get a class. And he's beyond that. We just installed him. Yeah, we've stopped him. We're the friends holding him back from getting a job. You got him in some deep shit. That's true. Yeah, we definitely did. School of hard knocks. Yeah. A second eye, broken arm. School of one eye, yeah. 1d8 plus 2. Ah, shit. Minimum damage. Damages damage. Lamb, Josephine, you are up. OK, my turn. There's too many people to do all my cool, fun stuff.

All those AoE spells. Well, and a lot of my stuff is thunder, too. So because there's a silencing bubble. Oh, yeah. Thanks, whoever did that. That's our next t-shirt. Thanks, whoever did that. And a picture of what? So Joe's going to cast spiritual weapon and... Wait, you're in the silence, too? No, but if I have anything that does thunder damage, the damage doesn't hit because it's thunder. Yeah, Karen does a lot of thunder damage. I do a lot of lightning mostly, but thunder and lightning. It's a combo. It's very, very frightening. And so this big... It's like a replica of the mace that she carries.

So it's just like this big mace that's like hovering in the air. And it's going to go in that little spot between the sirens and Helgus. And I don't have a thing for it. So we're going to pretend it's there. No, I got you, baby. I got you. OK, perfect. If you put in the picture of the rapper from the early 2000s. Wow. I was thinking more like a can of mace. I also accepted that as well. Picture Samuel L. Jackson. It's an axe now because that's what I can find. So it's an axe, but we know what it is. It's spiritual Samuel L. Jackson from Star Wars. How many maces can you list?

Oh, there was that bad N64 fighter mace, the Dark Age. Huh? OK, well, that was just for me. Yeah, I got mace Windu and then I didn't get that one. I was going to I was going to attack Helgus 14. Does that hit? It does not. Cool, cool, cool, cool. It's fine. The mace stays there for a minute, so it'll be there for a while. But that was bonus action. So I'm going to do a quick little sacred flame cantrip. So this radiant light is going to come right down on her and she needs to make a dexterity saving throw. Going to level with you. Not a big fan of the radiant portion of that.

Yeah, I had a feeling. No, that was almost a one. God damn it. Sorry. I'm really glad you came back. Great. (laughs) I guess that's it, because it doesn't take damage. Doesn't do half damage. Oh, yeah, you're supposed to fan out. I'm going to I'm going to take a few steps back this way, just in this corner over here. Long as you're not off the platform, you're fine. Yeah. Tatiana. (gasps) OK, I'm going to move. And then I'm going to shoot my shot. I'm not hitting on Holgus, just to be clear, I'm going to shoot at her. Oh, 22, almost a crit. Good God. OK. So, so eight damage and then 17 on top of that.

All right. Damn. OK, shit, anything else? Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Why not? I'll use my wills from the grave and deal some necrotic damage to a second target, which is going to be this succubus. Are those literal wails? Because they're not going to be able to hear them. Oh, I'm not sure. Let me look. That's fine. Immediately after you deal your sneak attack damage to a creature on your turn, you can target. It just says special. It doesn't really tell me. Let's just do it. Eh. It's just half of my sneak attack as necrotic damage. Oh, OK. I'll do two. Or do I round up?

Wouldn't it be just half of the 17? Half. Yeah, half of the 17. Half of the 17, yeah. Well, the first target takes it additionally as well. OK, so they just both take half the damage you rolled. Yes, it does. Roll half the number of sneak attack dice for your level round up. And the second creature takes necrotic damage equal to the rolls total. OK, so three, right? So I do need to reroll it. OK. One. Whoa. Sixteen. So Holgus and the Succubus get it. Yes. Half that. No, they get that. That was half the number of dice. Because it's half the dice. Got it. My dice, yeah.

Whoa. Jesus, dude. OK. That's it. And that will be it. Yeah. OK. And then your guys are going to come up swinging. I have to use one of my tokens. So I'm a token down now. OK. Holgus gets her second turn. I don't think this, you know what? Here's what we're going to do. This bubble, I don't like it. I wish to leave now. So let's. We're going to, you know what? Let's slide on over here to Tati, because you hit a lot and fuck you. So we're going to. So here's what we're going to do. Some more acid damage or anything like that. We are going to. We're going to use Intoxicating Sting.

Let's do that. I said I wasn't hitting on her, to be clear. She is definitely hitting on you. So so let's try this. mandatory lesbian trope, you know. Well, her wife's right there. Yes, but I'm going to uncanny dodge if I can and take half of whatever the damage is going to be. OK, so let's see here. My possessed wife saw you across the bar. We really like your vibe. So you do it tonight. So it is one d10 plus three piercing damage, plus three d8 poison, three d6 poison damage, and the target must succeed on a DC 17 wisdom saving throw or you have the charmed condition.

Oh, boy. So it would be. 19 damage halved, right, halved. Give me a give me a wisdom, wisdom savings. Yeah, wisdom savings. I won't even waste. I won't even waste my bardic inspiration on that because that will not do anything. So all means is you you can't attack her specifically. OK, like you just you. So we're not we're not in love. Should we just I can't hit her. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not. Yeah. Yeah, she's yeah. So you have it until the start until the start of her next turn. And she's going to use a she's going to use the lair action here. And you remember how we split that bubble apart and it's on either side.

So what we're going to do is on one of her turns, she is going to set up. There's going to be a thick line, like a red light going going through. And I'm going to I'm going to show you where they are. And then at the start of her next turn, anybody standing in that trail is going to take forty eight damage if they don't succeed on a dexterity save. So oh my God, we're doing raid boss rules. So what is this? This is why we stand out. It didn't work out so great for me. Well, that's because he did so much damage. That's true. Yeah, those are some those are some good.

Those are some good roles to let her waste the stinger on you and not funky list because he's going to summon the Jurassic Park. And yeah, he is not. Yeah, that's right. A bit. OK, so those guys fist fight over it. And now we're just in it. Jason took my dragon toy. No, bro. It's only one person on one row. Wait a second. Wait, that's because your opening gambit was. Yeah, and that was so it's oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Jason, Jason Embry. Oh no. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. Oh God. Everything's fine. OK, two seconds. Everyone was happy frozen on my screen. Then I come back and Jameson's like so I just want to see my shirt off and run out the door.

How long was I gone? OK, I am so sorry. I think I just stole a battle axe off of the field. I don't know how to put it back. You took it from Alex. I was trying to see what it was, so I clicked it and it just disappeared and said added to inventory. Not what I was trying to do at all. Did you lose a spiritual weapon? I win a spiritual weapon. I'm going to put it back. So my spiritual weapon. It's not even OK. Hold up, hold up, hold up. God damn you. Stop it. OK, that is very much exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do. I'm so sorry. That's just stuck to his hand now.

I can't even use this, I'm sorry. OK, thank you. So runes is going to like everything starting to go down. He is going to throw his bo staff onto the ground and crack his neck square up against the succubi or incubi. That's the boy one. Then he's going to see this boss warning and he's going to shift over here. Then he's going to punch the shit out of this guy. Oh. So I am hastened. So I'm going to take two attack actions, but to get us started, we're just going to do one unarmed strike to get us going. Oh, I rolled the damage by accident. I'm an idiot. That's it.

That's an attack roll. Oh, so you're not doing that. Oh, I should say you're not doing twenty four damage with a bare fist. Like if you are you're the boss now like that is. Yeah. So I'm also going to add another one deep six plus two with my hand of harm, which is going to eat up one of my key points. This is going to do another five damage. And because I'm a physician, I have Physician's Touch, which adds poison to that creature. OK, you're a terrible doctor, but OK. Second attack for this guy. Twenty five. All right. So that is now another one, six plus three.

Pew. Oh, you know, I should do I should just favorite hand of harm, so I don't have to keep tabbing back to this. There we go. I'm going to activate hand of harm again. Usability. So unarmed strike pew pew. That'll hit twenty four hit. Yeah. You six plus three. OK, six for used up to key points, I only have seven, so I'm not going to do hand of harm again. He is poisoned already. Did that apply the poison effect, by the way? I don't I don't see it. Oh, shit. But he has resistance to poison, I didn't know that. So that's OK. It's still the next day. I'm letting me know.

Yeah. Oh, I don't think the poisoned thing does damage. It gives him disadvantage on stuff. Right, but your physician's hand did poison damage, right? No. So the hand of harm just does regular damage. And then because I have physician's touch, that applies poison damage or sorry, poison condition. Oh, got it. OK, does that make sense? OK, cool. Yes, got it. Got it. All right. So now one more attack for my second thing. That's a hit. Bam, bam, bam rule. So that's seven more damage. And then I'm going to use my flurry blows. I do two more attacks. I miss the dinosaurs.

Does 18 hit? Yeah. Sweet. So that's one d6 plus three. Right. So it's four more damage and last one. Oh, nine's probably not going to do it, is it? No, but you had a good run. Like it's really, really did. To beat the fire out of that poor incubus. All right. I'm not horny anymore. Jesus. You just punch him back into the hole. He crawled out of his feet back. He just did that with his actual balls. Like, wow. They're out. Probably out. See, here's the guy. Yeah, he's into it. He's not immune to having the poisoned condition. Bree, you're speaking everywhere, but into the actual mic.

Sorry, you're right. I was doing so well about that yesterday. You're doing this stuff again. It's right in here. That's where the sound goes. Thank you, sweetie. Don't sweetie me. You're a professional. I love you. Come on. I love you, too. I was able to do this while drunk yesterday, but today I'm just nervous because I'm punching stuff. All right. So I have officially squared up. OK. And that's all I got. OK. I want to apologize in advance. I'm going to refresh the table one more time to try and fix this damage thing. I swear to you. I swear to you. I swear to you.

I'm just leaving. I feel like this should fix it, I think, and it should save us a lot of time. So this better be the best ever. You do realize you're doing this at least once per round, like a lair action. I'm not. I try. Yeah. Nate, who the fuck made the really the very hungry caterpillar going around the entirety? Oh, that's his worst. He's been looking at it for a while. Master, Master Warlock. Do you know what I like? General shapes. I just love it. Looks like an Atari game. What the fuck? It was trying to make some sacred geometry, but I got interrupted by the table wipe.

So no sacred geometry for us. It'll still be there when we get back. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Who cares anyway? All right. I'm trying to make it go. It's not. I don't care anymore. Oh, wait. Hold on. If I hold on. Oh, don't don't don't anything. I'm not refreshing anything else. God. I've never seen Jack raise his hand in anger. That's amazing. I'm horrified. Shit. The New Yorkers coming out in him. Okay. Now I don't know why it's not. But who gives a shit? Let's go. That didn't fix it. But man, we're all trying our best. I don't know why I didn't enable a calendar.

It just it's like you wanted to know the date. It's like, no, I know the date. All right. D&D day. Thank you. Less fun. He was honey hugs. Thank you. Hang on. Let me zoom all the way back in on the fight here. Stematic zoom on what's happening. So he's going to look at the the sexy demon lady in front of him and give her a little salute and then turn and run. He's going to go this way. It's an attack of opportunity, right? Fine. Totally fine. Oh, okay. If it's fine, then that means the dinosaurs are coming. Your cup of water. He said it was fine. You're right. That was going to happen.

I don't like it. I'm the only one who's rolling these crits. Critmas, we're hell, you know, we're rolling on the table. You know, we take it as it comes. Goes up in flames. Oh, did she die? Oh, my God. Explodes on the battlefield. Heart attack. I'm going to take credit for it if she does. That little salute. Oh, shit. Your time has come. The God of Death has decided that your time has come. So that's more of a long play thing, but that's not great. Go ahead. Sorry. No, no, she dies. That's what happens. Yes, and. (laughter) OK, so I'm going to go here. I'm going to be very disappointed that the succubus didn't die randomly.

But once he gets there, he's going to turn around and he's going to cast a spell called. Well, before I do that, when when Fonkyless runs, his shadow stays there where he was. And that shadow materializes into a dog. The dog runs through the succubus and goes to. What's your face? Hoggas. Hoggas. The dog has to roll its own initiative. OK, but I'm swear I'm only doing this once. OK, so. Yodo, the only dog once. The only dog once. This is the Hound of Ill Omen. Ooh, too big, too big, too big, too big, too big. Medium sized direwolf statistics. Just because it has been made in one of our previous attempts at recording this, what's the dog's name again?

Because I remember what it was. I'm pretty excited. The dog's name is Bluey. Even though it's made of shadow, his name is Bluey. That was OK. Well, while we're doing this real quick, I watched a silly little TikTok and it's a kindergarten teacher who, like, puts Bluey on sometimes. And it's just that. And then jet engine levels of peaking the audio. Oh, my God. He's like, this is what's like my class every single fucking day. Yep. I'm we're good. Bluey is go. OK, so put Bluey next to Holgaz for me, please. Opposite Tatiana. That's sweet. Just behind on the opposite corner.

I'm going to just go behind me. Oh, that down here. OK, thank you. So the dog is silent. Bluey is quiet now. That's fine. So Bluey does two things. Bluey just needs to roll into Jesper speaking in tongues. Bluey is going to have an initiative. Oh, you just rolled perfect. And Bluey is also going to impose disadvantage on spell saves against my spells for Holgaz. Oh, yeah, I don't like that. Bluey needs to be there. I forgot, Holgaz does have magical resistance. So not against me. Yeah, not against me. So now we're going to cast the spell. He's going to wheel around and he's going to cast Synaptic Static.

Ooh, I got that one. We're going to spend a sorcery point to make it a careful spell, which means three people inside that blue circle don't have to save against it. So those three people are going to be Tatiana, Vella and the Saki best fuck again. T.E. has it, boy. No, Ian's the third one, so they don't have to make a save. Everybody else. Let me just read off here. Needs to make a... I don't know. They need to make... How fucking dare you? No, I'm just joking. Well, let me cast it. Here we go. Does Bluey have to make a save? Ooh, that's a good question. Oh, Ian might not be...

He has to make a save, yeah. If Bluey has to make a save, Ian's on his own, honestly. The dog's physical, right? It's a shadow, but like it exists. Yeah, it's not like the spiritual weapon. OK, right. Oh, neat. Oh, whoa. So you could do that, but not damage. Come on, Tatum. Well, that's very cool. Ooh. So it's 33 damage. It's a DC 15 Intelligence saving throw with disadvantage, or I guess normal now for Holgaz. Everybody else has disadvantage, including, I guess, Ian. Sorry, Ian, not really. Oh, no. Suck a dick, Ian. OK. And it doesn't pose an effect if they fail it, so...

Wow, son of a bitch. Jesus. OK, so Holgaz is going to succeed. All right, so she'll take half damage. Oh, yeah. Succubus rolls... 13. What was it? 15. So Succubus is going to fail. And then poor Ian. The incubus is in there, too. Yeah. Yeah, he failed. Ian's going to fail. This isn't going well. Everyone but... Oh, my God. Oh, the incubus is fine. OK. So Holgaz and the incubus save. Everyone else fails. OK, so everybody who fails takes 33 damage. Woo! I'm a little sorry now. (laughter) Gah! So that's half of his health bar, basically. We can say it was part of his when he tripped.

Oh, yeah, he's still gone. He's embarrassed. Slip disk. He's got to lay flat on the ground now. It's a fucking whole thing. That came from such a real place. These jokes used to be funnier when I didn't have to live them. Now you just sound like you're on the wrong side of history. Say you tripped. (laughter) That's going to be my relationship with Ian. You just wait. And I guess half damage. So 16 against the people who succeeded. Yep, doing that now and I think we're good. OK, so the other effect. After a failed save, the target has muddled Fox for one minute.

During that time, it rolls a D6 and subtracts the number rolled from all its attack rolls and ability checks, as well as its constitution saving throws to maintain concentration. So for the next minute, the next 10 rounds, they're at a pretty distinct disadvantage. I'm sure it'll be fine. It'll work out. He's just got a headache. He's dehydrated. He needs to drink some water. Hydrate or di-drate, babe. It's a headache that took away 33 of his health points. That's a big headache. Yeah, that's a migraine. I know that headache. I, I, I, I. OK, are we done? Yes, we are done.

All right. That is the end of round one. We wrapped that up in a tight hour and a half. I'm so proud. Not counting what wasn't recorded. So like an hour and 45, I don't know. So here we go. That means we are rolling again. There's some, oh my God, my screen lagged. There's so many dice. OK, here they go. Where we are. That makes sense. I'm at the bottom again. Where am I at? Where am I at? Wait. Somehow it went right to me. OK, it's Josephine. Oh, fuck. All right. I guess, oh my, I mean, my Spirit of Throvn is still up, so I can use my bonus action to hit one of these broads.

I mean, one of these things. I'll do the one that the succubus, because it's near death, it says. Dude, can we get rid of the, the most attention grabbing circle now? Can we? I don't know. I don't have the ability to remove that. Oh, I do. That's, I was just asking. It's like, is that cool? I mean, I think it's cool, but if you want to get rid of it, then that's fine. There's so many shapes. OK. I need to make an attack. So, swinging at this incubus. 22. 22 will hit that incubus. OK, so it's going to take 2d8 plus my spellcasting modifier. It's probably dead, so let's start with the 2d8.

OK, cool. I was like, where is my spellcasting modifier? It's super dead. OK, perfect. Four hit points left, so. I love that. Cool. And I still have an action left, so. Um, God, I'm so sorry. I, Josephine is never the first person in the combat. Thought I had so much time. We'll just do the same thing I did last time and we'll try to hit the incubus with a sacred flame. So it needs to make a dexterity saving throw. Let's see, dexterity saving throw. Whee! 18. Suck balls. Anyway. I mean, it's a succubus. She's OK with it. Yeah. Yeah. All right, that's it. All right. Petrichor.

Well, Petrichor is going to watch all of this chaos happen. He's just going to move right here just to get line of sight. And guess what he's going to do? Same thing as he did last time. He's going to do the acid arrow. Straight interface. It was successful. So let's see if it happens again. Hang on a second. All right. I don't get any advantage here, do I, for anything? Do I? No. You're going to get disadvantage, actually, because she has magical resistance and I've forgotten about that. So she gets to, you know, yeah. Fine. But the dog or charmed person Tatiana doesn't give me advantage, does it?

No. Because then they would negate. Yeah, no. Fine. Sorry. I hate you. All right. Well, then that missed. Sorry. No, that's totally understandable. And he's just going to. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Wait. What? I'm sorry. I thought that was a save that she had to. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. If it's an attack. Yeah. If it's an attack role, it's just straight up. I'm sorry. Click that again. Yes. I have misunderstanding. I'm sorry. I am. I don't mind. Oh, yeah, my spell slots are going to hang on a second. Sorry. You want me to refresh the page? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, back, back.

Don't do it. As a result of being bloodied. Oh. OK. And. Oh, there we go. Yes, sir. Well, that's a crit. You asshole. OK, give me a d6. It's going to be a d6. Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah. Yeah. Got to see. Got to start there. On the table. That's rolling on the table, baby. Well, what you need, what you need. The 20. I don't remember. I never get these things. All right. D20. Here we go. What do you get the crit? 17 yesterday. Let me just wrap this up real quick. You smash your target in the head, causing massive damage. In addition to standard critical hit damage, you give the enemy a concussion.

The target is on. Well, OK, we the unconscious part doesn't matter, but they have to succeed on a constitution saving throw of DC 12 on a failure. They roll a one d four and lose that much intelligence permanently. Oh, so shit. OK, well, saving throw, it's got to be at least a 12. Oh, fuck no. So you can bring some intelligence off. Yeah. Oh, intelligence. She lost two ability on her. Yeah. Susan's right. That is that. That's probably a modifier. Are we doing intelligence damage to Helga's or Alexandra's partner? No. Oh, shit. I mean, you know what I mean? But you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. This is awesome. I know. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a brain. That's like a good thing she wasn't a researcher or anything. Oh, poor dear. Well, look where that got her. Me back all safe and sound. All right. 20 damage. 20 damage. And again, five d four at the end of their next turn. Additional. Well, when we get there. So as a result of being bloodied. No way. She's going to add herself to the initiative tracker a third time. What? There. She's not at all. No, that's not at all. She's crazy. I respect it. It's like having a respect it. Yeah. And it's not like multiple targets, right?

It's still one person. It's one person. So those hit points are one hit points. Like, you don't have to worry about a clone. It's just it's like. What was that artifact? Legendary weapon. The shard of cord lets you go twice. Oh, my God. Man, that was crazy. Op and for you. Yeah. To me. God. Oh, okay. Tamika is like him where she's at, because if a gust of wind comes, she has something blocked her path from falling off the edge. So I'm going to stay there. But I'm sorry, Jamison. I might hit your wolf. So we're just going to rub our hands together and then this little like bubbling green thing is going to start to form and it's going to get bigger and bigger and bigger.

And then she's going to hurl it when it's like the size of a dodgeball and then throw it towards Holgus. And then it gets to the size of like a good I don't know. It gets bigger than the largest person here. And I'm going to cast vitriolic sphere and I'm going to cast it at fifth level. Holy shit. Yeah, I get the wolf. Sorry. The spells you guys use. I have no idea where they're coming from. I've never heard these spells before in my life. It's too busy putting up silence everywhere. That's why you never heard of it. It's tried and true. Old school, baby. Silence spell.

Whoa. Oh, that looks gooey. Yeah. So you just had a Nickelodeon sponsor. OK. Somebody. Right. Are you kidding? Yeah. Fifty one. Fifty one. OK, wait. This is her her automatic resistance. That was really wait. Wait. I get to try to fight. You're going to try to save. You know, Bluey Bluey play. Yes. So if I so I don't I don't like rolling the damage because it puts pressure on me. I now if I fail, that's fifty fifty one damage and I don't. I try to target and do it, but, you know, let's see where this goes. So thankfully, at least I get to roll with advantage. Right. So everyone wins here.

Wait, no, I'm going to do Tides of Chaos. So I'm rolling with I'm not sure that. I don't like it. So, OK, so now it's just a normal role. Ah, that's not cool. I know you, Mano. So dexterity. Yeah. Yes. And I'm shooting for fourteen. Oh, one of those. That's funny. I wasn't really doing shit. Bluey. Fuck. Let's just try to throw some some things at Jason. I mean, half of fifty one is still more like these mind games. I'm refreshing the table. Take that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Yeah. That's not good, guys. Oh, well, I mean, it is good for you. I was talking to the succubus, having a team meeting fourth quarter.

We're down to 20 points. You see all those spill out of her. And then just for funsies, because I did something above level one, I have to see if something chaotic happens. Oh, so if I roll a one on a D 20, I get a roll on the chaos table. OK, the wild magic table. So that role you did was so she takes quarter damage. So she takes half automatically. Just I just realized she has resistance to acid damage, which everything does. Well, here's the thing. I've been applying it to straight damage. So whoops. But it's all good. The acid arrow now won't be as effective, but it sure fucking was earlier.

So that's my bad. I should have read my character sheet. So what are you doing? What are you still taking a turn? What are you doing? Oh, I was just trying to get rid of the circle. I was trying to get rid of the circle. And then it actually made me roll. But I'm done. And then with that Tamika just. Guys, I think she's getting hurt. We we got to get her and then cower. There has been so much acid, just like sizzling skin. Like I would imagine, like everyone's like, OK, that's enough of that shit. Like, I don't like it. It's like the playfulness is leaving. And yeah, it was worth saying to me because you go, oh, sorry, doggy.

And then she's done. So I'll get you. Let's go, you know. Oh, she's OK. All right. Blue is up, blue is up. All right. Check this out. We're going to do a bite. That's going to be a twenty two one, two, two. And then that's two to six. And I damage. I don't want to drag this out. You would have advantage because. Tatiana's on the other side. That is true. OK, if the wolf counts as a physical object, then you must quit. (laughter) Now, we'll drop the twenty one to take a twenty two. I think that as you were. Yeah, you could. OK, so that is two to six plus three damage.

Eleven damage, eleven damage, and she needs to make a DC 13 strength check or be knocked prone. Can I? OK, this is I don't want to slow this down. It's the. Oh, so it's going to be half damage, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, piercing, slashing damage that aren't silvered weapons unless it's a chromed out grill on that wolf. Well, I mean, she's magic. So unless magic doesn't count, then that's fine. I have to image. Yeah. OK, OK, OK. And then save. Do you see 13? Almost impossible to fail it. Shut up. And. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. She got one. Sixteen. OK, that's the end of Bluie's turn.

It's going to be the end of Bluie in a minute, but. Should we do us? Oh, OK. Boy, these guys didn't. They weren't as effective as in another reality. Well, all guys is going to go three times before Blevins this round. No, give me your best shot. Oh, speaking of Holgos, she takes another five D for acid damage at the end of her next turn. We should just stack the acid damage, so every turn she takes, you just she's getting destroyed. Just hear her sizzling. Fuck, OK, this succubus. It's going to slide over here and use Draining Kiss on Vella. So you're going to get all a lot of time.

Oh, no, thank you. You give me a DC 15 Constitution saving throw. Oh, that was all was so close. Well, that's a nine. So you're going to take five D ten plus five psychic damage. Oh, and the targets hit point maximum is reduced by the amount equal to the damage taken. Oh, no, what? It's not forever. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a long rest. So you can't get healed back out. That's crazy. So I take 36. You take 36 and then you're. Yeah, and your hit points lower to that ceiling now, so you can't regain those. Oh, OK. Don't you have Uncanny Dodge so you can have it?

I think so. How do you dodge a kiss? Like this fight, man. Yeah, I do have Uncanny Dodge. You have not had an awkward encounter with your friend before. No. There are many ways. Yes. I would like to utilize Uncanny Dodge. And then shit happened. You give the cheek instead of the mouth. I like how I asked that question and almost every woman in the call, it's like, actually, like it was. I don't have those problems. I look like this. It's just a different. Yeah. OK, how do you do that? Yeah. OK, so we have to ask that. Yes. All right. So 18. Even even if it's psychic.

Does it matter? I have no idea. It just says hits you with. OK, then hit you with an attack. OK, then we're just going to do half damage. We OK. And then so now I'm at my maximum hit points level. Yes. So you cannot go above 48. 48. OK. Oh, my God. It's not. Yeah. No me gusta. Fanculus. All right. So he is going to remain focused on Holgaz here. And a tendril of shadow is going to extend from him to her. And we're going to cast a spell called Blight. So what this is, is necromantic energy washes over a creature of your choice that you can see within range, joining moisture and void and vitality from it.

The target must make a constitution saving throw. The target takes eight d8 necrotic damage on a failed save. It happens much on a successful save. So let's do it. So again, so normally she has advantage on the save, but she is disadvantaged from Bluey, so it's just normal. Fuck. Did that on purpose. You roll the damage. You rolled the damage on purpose. It makes you when you cast the spell, it makes you roll the damage. I think you would have done it anyway. I mean, now that I know I can. Yeah. So what's the what saved dexterity? Constitution DC 15. All right.

Oh, that was almost 20. That's rough, buddy. It wasn't. Yeah. OK, so that means she's taken 34 damage. I don't like it. Yeah, it's not cool. And all of that, all that goodness drains into him and it's good. And that's just for a fact. I don't actually just his hand. Nom, nom, nom. But he's he's a vampire. It has to look vampiric. That is going to kill all of us. Yes. So killing a demon is a demon of this caliber is very interesting because she needed a human host, first of all, or, you know, a humanoid host to even get this far. So as this necrotic energy and acid because it's eating through that facade and Holgos is going to burn away and it's just Clarissa.

So there is going to be a much, you know, smaller human woman under here. And this is a mangled body at this point, like just eviscerated. But Clarissa is still here. Yes. So Holgos is gone. Just kind of took over her body, if you remember. Yeah. Clarissa is kind of laying there, pool of blood just speared straight through. Right. So she took she took the damage. Whoops. I mean, you were kind of warned about that. Alex kind of said it's like, look, just do whatever we got to do. Like it fucking sucks. So is she gone already? No, she's still alive. And Alex is kind of it's one of those moments where I don't know how comfortable you guys would be with it, because it's like, OK, well, they're this is kind of private.

But she did just try to kill all of us, kind of, sort of like so. I so no energy beams, no, no sex demons, no nothing like it's all. They're all gone. And you're just kind of like chilling here. So, oh, I guess how would you how would you guys feel after that? Like, I think for me, Kanan would definitely be worried about his team first and foremost. I mean, hey, I'm sorry about it, but, you know, I don't know the other guys that well. They were they perform admirably, but like I'm I'm checking on Terry. I'm checking on Tamika, runes, petrichor. I'm looking around and on the map, I see that Tamika is closest to me first.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. So that's I'm I'm did I get hurt? I'm pretty sure I got hurt. Everybody got hurt. Oh, I didn't know. I guess not. OK. Yeah, it really didn't get that bad. I feel like you did get hurt, but you healed. OK. That sounds like me. I buy that. That sounds more like a Kanan move. That sounds like the killer of the group. You know yourself. That sounds about right. You know, we did. Was it Ian? Yeah, he did. True. Poor buddy. I think that's what I was going to. I was so like Ian is pissed. Well, a little. Yes. Yes. Yes. There's two things going through his head. One, he's going to have a talk with the people he has partied up with.

Two. He probably wants to stab Clarissa to make sure she's dead. Because he doesn't have the context of all this, really. So it's more like, all right, demon summoners got to go. Right. Like and he he would probably feel like it's like, all right, we're all on board. Right. OK. She's clearly evil. Like we, you know, we could put our differences aside for this one. So he's probably going to. He's probably going to start to walk forward and like. To be fair, like think about this with no backstory, no context, like, yeah, we all know Clarissa because we've listened to the show, but like we don't.

We show up here. This person attacks us, tried to kill us all. Yeah. But like she also looks noticeably different right now. Like I feel like some of us would pick up from context clues that like. So how is he's? No, no, no, go, please. I was going to ask what Alex is doing. So that's the next thing I was going to bring up is obviously the first the instant that everything disappears and it's just Clarissa and Holgus is gone. You know, Clarissa is going to hit the ground and Alex is just going to run slide right there. Right. Like kind of cradle her head. And just so if she spots Ian moving forward, this is going to get real physical, real fast.

Right. But I, I, I'm going to roll for it because like, you know. God, OK. I almost want to roll that with disadvantage seven. All right, so she's not going to see it, so Ian's going to. He's going to walk up here with weapon drawn and. Is anyone between them? I was, but then I moved over to everyone moved. Yeah, everyone moved. Yeah. Oh, God. OK, so far away, I was no. Yeah, so here's OK. Here's what we're going to do. Jesus Christ. I'm going to have him swing. If it is a 16 or higher, he impales her. But just ends it right. If not, then Alex is in the way enough to like probably wouldn't react much to footsteps behind, but like his weapons already drawn.

So there's no shink. There's no it's just. Yeah. So. Oh, man, I did not. I didn't want to start this one out this way. Wow. Shit. OK. How very in. Yeah, this is the fucked up that he thinks he's doing a good job this time. I like, OK, you know, for all we know, he is like, yeah. Also, let me turn on dice so nice because not having a dice roll attached to it is weird. OK, it's refreshing. That's me. Control your husband. Please, Bella, I don't know, wouldn't have the context. You know, that's why I just think I don't know this girl. It's like, oh, yeah, double tap.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no tap. So it really sucks. But what's the big deal? Like I'm literally thinking about it and it's like, oh, what move towards to Mika? I was going to say, I think Vela would be probably moving towards Ian, but like I don't think she would try and stop him, you know, from advancing on the enemy. It's a baddie for all she knows, you know. Yeah. So that was almost a 17. And yeah. Oh, yeah, but I believe you. So, well, yeah, I mean, almost a 17, but then it landed on four. So that's an 11. So what we've done is Ian is going to try and just like lunge like right down and I guess completely missing the fact that like Alex is kind of crouched down next to her and just, you know, trying to like doing that, like holding, trying to hold blood into the body like a nom movie type of thing.

He is going to try and lunge. And as the blade moves toward Clarissa, Alex is looming over enough that it's going to pass by her shoulder first and she's going to raise her arm and just kind of like pull back like that. And she's going to let Clarissa drop. They are in a fight now. There is no way. There's no words. There's no nothing. And she's going to come. Yeah, no, she's going to come at Ian hard. So that. Yeah, that's happening now, I can't. Yeah, so fuck it. What do we do about that? That is up to you guys. I don't know. I mean, yeah, I think that would draw our attention.

Yeah. Another fight breaks out. Yeah. For clarification, are we still in the bubble that Alex made? We're still in there, right? Pretty much. Yeah, it's pretty much dissipated now. It doesn't need to. You know what I mean? Like you are in this. We are faced, but yeah, no. As soon as that dissipates, by the way, that bubble like you're going to see kind of flickers of light around you, and it's the same kind of light you're seeing from that that that portal, that that doorway that that brought you here, because on the other side of it, you'll see the castle again like you.

You know, you're you're basically in kind of a demi-plane timeout type of thing, right? You're you're outside of reality. By the way, that is definitely going to hit him and another nine damage and oof. Oh, my God. OK, so he's just so bad at swords. He's only got one hand. I feel like he's also a little surprised because a second ago she was on his side. Yeah. And now she's not anymore. That's a little confusing for him. I definitely like after the hell are you doing? Like he's like she tried to kill us. She's not using words right now. Like she's going to continue.

If there's a pause and he doesn't attack back, she's just going to keep going. There's there's no stoppage. No, I think, yeah, I was going to shout out something similar. Hey, yo, is this your friend? Like, you know, to the other team, you know, yo, yo, chill, chill, chill, whatever the equivalent is of that. Control your man. Go get your man. Chill. To me, we'll probably start running towards him, go, oh, what's going on? Like you try to say if we're going to start being like, maybe we should roll initiative because runes would probably go over and try to grapple if this continues.

Probably at this stage, he would probably try to grapple Alex because she's the one who actually landed a fucking hit. Right. I know he's the aggressor, but he's bleeding now. So, you know. Yeah, this is yeah, just a point. I don't OK. I don't want to take it to that yet. OK, let's start with words, right? So, OK, we got the we basically got the gist of everyone going, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, OK, what's happening? Yeah. Right. And I I honestly think he would probably turn to to vellum. It's like, are you seeing this? She's defending that demon summoner. I don't know if it looks like the demons gone.

I don't know. Hang on, baby. Stop trying to hit him. Hang on. I don't know, babe. She's like running towards him like, what? I don't know what's going on. I like that we've graduated all the way to babe. Like for us, it's been seven and a half months. But like, man, I move fast. She realized he wasn't a gremlin. And now it's babe, huh? I mean, he is a babe. Let's be fair. Look, look, babe. My own wife would have been attracted to the gremlin like I. You know, that's the reason I latched on to splat. I'm just saying it speaks to a strong demographic of our listeners.

I'm just saying that's very strong demographic of monster fuckers for them to listen. We appreciate your favorite, OK? Like pre transformation. So some call it a monster manual. Some call it porn. I it's all in, you know, potato potato. That's nasty. Wow. King shaming. Jeez. Um, Alex, tears in her eyes, right? Is is just there's probably going to stomp forward just one time, like like get the fuck back like that type of thing. And it'll back up because the party isn't. He figured, oh, we're all going to jump in and kill these two now, right? They're clearly in cahoots.

And like since the party isn't, he has no choice to be like, OK, did I miss something? We all were just fighting. We were all here, right? So two things would go through his mind. One, is it some sort of spell? Like, are you guys like is he going to have to be the hero and break all you guys out of the spell? Like, is that is that it? That's literally where his mind jumps to first or two. Could it be there is something I'm missing context wise? And he probably for a second go, no, it's the children who are wrong. And just for a second. But he's he's going to back up.

If that was like, hey, let's give it a second. Like and yeah. Correct me if I'm wrong. Didn't Alex lead our party here? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So Bella might bring that up, be like she led us here. Hang on. And he would probably be like, get to a demon summoning lover. That's that's the only reason. I mean, he did. She did put him through a wall. Not that true either. Upon our first meeting, she missed the part where we broke the gem. Like he was busy being almost dead at the time. So he didn't miss that detail. I don't think it may explain. Ian doesn't have a lot. His he's he's a tough guy to to.

He's not he's not great around meeting people. He's not good at connections. And he's not great beyond the connection point either. Like talking to him. So it's it's tough. OK, here's what we're going to do again. I don't want to social. She'll stop. Alex will stop if. Like he backs up and she's going to immediately turn around and go right back to Clarissa and kind of kind of softly. Does anyone have any healing magic? It's almost hand in hand. It's a little like it's a tough pitch. You have to ask, right? Yeah, I can not raise his hand and walk slowly forward.

Like, I think I have a I have a little bit left. He looks down at he's going to look down at Clarissa cautiously because he's like now he's got him thinking like, oh, maybe the job isn't done. I don't know. Like, is there some left in there? You know, Ian might be super competent, like he might be. I don't know this guy carries himself. Yeah, carries himself like he comes from like, like, you know, shit like, you know, it's got this air of confidence. Yeah, you could run Tesla like he's really like he's. Oh, my God. We've never seen the design of trucks is all I'm saying.

That's it. That's like think of Gremlin him as pre hair transplant. That's all that's all I'm saying. That's, you know, OK, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're ruining a romance here. You're right. I'm sorry. I'll cut that out. Maybe. I'm not saying that Vela is ungrimes like I'm just saying. I like the you both went through an emotional like. Yeah, I had to think about a variety of feelings, but you know what I mean? It's not an insult, really. It's it's just going to be point three. Like it's going to be like, it's like, well, she did leave.

Did leave. Yeah. OK. OK. OK, now, OK. Are you so are you going over there like you do like, hey, I got you. OK. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I walk over is like, I have something. Yeah. I mean, not much left, but I have something. You're going to feel like a tingle in the back of your head. So is Tamika. Oh, yeah. Kind of it's like a which basically the same thing that just happened. It's like, hey, hey, what are you doing? What you what you doing there? You. To me, because like you scratch your head like aggressively, like what is that? Can I recognize this? Oh, yeah. He recognizes the sensation, right?

And he's going to stop like he's probably halfway there. He stops and visibly he does. He doesn't try to hide it. He visibly in his mind already knows, like, I'm going to look insane and he's going to look up and around and be like hands out to the sides as if he's questioning what I can't. I can't do this. Alex is going to pause. What's wrong with you? Come on. I just please just I if you actually like if there's hesitation, runes would probably put his hand on your shoulder and like nod. And then he'd approach because he has he he has like basic healing.

Yeah. And he doesn't have a God in his brain. Yeah. I think we've at least seen this a couple of times now to be able to say, OK, you you check out if you have a chat. Yeah. Look, they're in a party. They're whispering to each other. We can keep role playing without that guy. I guess it's kind of a dick move. But, you know, can I look to Tamika just to see like and he she her hair is like crazy because she's like, what? What was that? Yeah. He's going to he's going to look over her, see that and go like. And then if petrichor and runes, runes has the hand on his shoulder.

So he's going to look at runes, not and like take a step back and be visibly flustered that he can't help this person who doesn't seem evil right now. And for a split second, he's going to remember when he was possessed and that whole that whole thing is going to like flash for a second. He's going to be mad because he's like, this person needs help and I can't do it. And I wanted someone to help me. You know, I was just going to walk to where Tamika is and I guess take a seat. He can't, you know, big big pop of celestials telling me they'll do that.

There'll probably be like a side conversation, like explaining what this is because to me it's like, fuck. If runes means that petrichor is going over, he'd probably go join that group, too. And be like, Patton, Patton, can on on the back like, you got it, buddy. It's OK. Hey, big cat, you got this. It's good. Everything's fine. If you guys go over there to heal, the situation isn't great. While she's still alive, like she has like wounds, like claw marks and stuff like, you know, it looks like something almost hatched out of her in a weird way. And, you know, when you say regular healing, you're talking like bandages and like rubbing algae in there or whatever you guys do.

Who? It's petrichor. I don't know. Like, I mean, I can like a healing word. I can like go. Go for it. He can do more than he's not going to spit on her. Like, yeah, I mean, I went more down home, I think, than he's not going to give her that all hak to a doesn't look like these algae is doing much, much, much. But maybe I should just use some magic. Some healing magic. I love being able to tell which ones of you are on TikTok. I just didn't want to engage with. No, I didn't. I mean, it's a highbrow show. I mean, petrichor watching all this happen, he's all this, Kanan and Tamika sort of having to back off for a second.

I got your boss. I got you. He's just going to come up and and he's going to look around. He's still trying to assess what in the world is going on. But it seems like Alex, whoever this person is that's trying to take care of this person on the ground, looks like they need help, looks like they mean it. He's just going to be like, you know what, maybe this is the wrong thing to do, but looks like the right thing. So don't do it. And then he'll just cast a healing word. You want me to you me to actually cast it? No, you're good. No, no, no. It's it's so as you cast this, things are going to get better, you know, for a second.

You know, cuts are going to heal up and stuff. She's still in pain, but then new cuts are going to start to appear like she's like something is hurting her specifically, like, you know, whatever is happening. And she's conscious. Definitely. She's like for for a second. It kind of goes down to like a low groan and it's like like just it is something is clawing at her, like invisibly, like, you know, tearing at her almost from the inside. And she's going to look up to Alex and just really sorry. I'm like she's crying, trying to like get this to stop because this has gone so much further than she ever wanted it to go.

And nothing about this was what was promised. And it's just. Yeah. Also, like she's like curse, curse like this is like it's bad. Like you don't get it. Demise. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. And yeah, you're you're you're you're a celestial governing governing body here probably wants to call you guys in for just just so if you guys are having like a like a like a sidebar, just like you move over there for a second. They're like, fuck you guys doing like what you feel. Don't steal her. She'll get back up and then you're doing this again. Like think like something. It's me to make a sidebar and then ruins is like sitting in front of us, like watching us, making sure we're OK.

And all of a sudden we just kind of do the whatever we did last time. Our heads rolled. That's a car. That's rude. All right. And he looks like that one character from Pulp Fiction who's confused about where the lady is. That's that's Vega. That's Vincent Vega. That's a. Yeah. Yeah. We just watch that. He was an actor. Very bad with names and actors, though. You're fine. That's that was before. That was before the the the the the phenomenon is directly. Yeah, it was before the one where he plays a mentally handicapped guy before he. Oh, my God. Before the mob movie he did.

Yeah. We do we have to. God, he got a sure. No, he was. He was a Jan punisher. Yes, he was. Thank you. His last movie, his last moments in that movie are gently being pulled away by a car and him going. Yeah. Like for 10 minutes or two. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. It's a great scene which people disassociate during this conversation versus who like who goes into it versus who is just like, all right, I guess I have five minutes to myself now and my thoughts. That's the thing. I can get at least three of you back if I say Grease like I can get you back. I know how.

There you go. I knew Paul's Drag Race. You're here. We see. OK, that was specifically for Karen. Do to me, can I have to go to the other realm or is it just him telling us something? Yeah, this is just like her head. This would be so here's the weird thing. It feels like he's trying to do that. But the connection here is lousy. So like you're getting a weird sensation like, OK, picture it like this. There's like a like a shock collar around you at all times. And if you piss this guy off, he could just go and just course correct. You're getting the feeling that he is trying to click the button and nothing's happening.

And for the first time, like it's like there's probably silence for a good long while. And then he'll probably just speak to you again instead of pulling you. It's the equivalent of like grabbing you by the scruff and pulling you back. And this time it's like, all right, you should not heal. Like it's calmer. Like it's it's interesting. Like you're feeling a disconnect from this this entity. Like, well, that's new. So to me, it's going to be a little self-conscious about this. So like like like curl in on yourself and be like, well, what if we get the demon out talking to the celestial being?

This is good. So he's going to change tact and like he's talking to a little nicer because like I can't hit them like it's you know what I mean? Like it's it's very... I don't have a way to give you that kind of power from here. However, if you worked together, you could probably do it theoretically. Oh, yeah, it would be easier just to kill her. But that other lady seems really, really, really sad. So can we not? I would prefer if you killed her. Just take a dagger, put it to her throat and make a sawing motion. It would be very... I know I'm the new guy, but I kind of have to speak up against this.

So no. Kanan is biting his finger. He's like biting his nails. Because he hears this. Oh, man. He's like screaming internally, internal screaming. One hundred percent. So something is about to happen here and it's never happened before, because to you, this this being is omnipotent, right? They are they might as well be Galactus, right? And there's a long pause and you get the distinct feeling that something should be happening now, but nothing does. Kanan, I would like you to kill your friend now, please. Oh, my God. He's going to. Yeah, he's going to stop biting his hands and kind of raise an eyebrow, look around, shake his head.

I'm sorry. What? You can't be serious. I can't have someone working for me that doesn't follow my explicit instructions. And whatever's protecting you, there isn't going to be protecting you there forever. Oh, well, OK. Yeah, so now I can unknowns. He he he's kind of like he's he kind of let it slip that like he can't do anything here. So he's going to look at Tamika and then he's going to hold on a hand. He says, come on, we're going to go help this girl. And then he's going to purposefully ignore the being. It's like, no, you don't you don't do that. He's not even he's just thinking it's like you don't do that.

You don't get to do that. And he's going to have his hand out to Tamika. He's going to stand up and out like, come on, let's go. We're going to help her. OK. And she heard this, too. So now she's like ears flattened. Yeah. And then I'd say as we as we were walking to Clarissa on the ground and Alex holding her, if he's still trying to talk to us, I'm just going to be telling to make as we're walking. It's like he can't do anything. He can't do anything to us in here. But once we leave this place, there's no guarantee that some bad is not going to happen to us, but at least we can save this girl.

I mean, technically, if we get the demon out, we're still following his your orders. She'll talk to her. She's just he's going to say, don't talk to him. Don't talk to him. Don't worry about that. Don't focus on him. Focus on this. Oh, my God. Focus on this girl. Can you imagine a being that's had not total control over you or anything, but like. He's going from having like a controller plugged in at any point, he could. It's like, yeah, I'll let the game play itself. But if I need to do something, I can interact directly. Now he has a broken Skype connection like he like.

Fucking irate, like all this power, all this fury and can't do anything. So as you go over there, there's as you step closer to Clarissa, the like, you're going to kind of see this ritual in your head is going to like like the clouds are going to part like you're moving away from his influence and you're going to be able to see it's like this is doable like this. You know, it's it's a thing dangerous, but we could probably what you know, what's the worst that can happen? That type of thing. So we get stripped of our powers and turn to ash. Raiders of the Lost Ark style.

OK, let's let's pan around the room here. God, everyone else, like what's what's going on here? Who hasn't had a turn to like get in here and mix it up? Because we got we now have five people over Clarissa. It's like, don't you die on me? Like we're doing that. Everyone else is just kind of awkwardly like. Ruins is chilling room. It's probably just trying to keep to make it from like swallowing her tongue. Ian would probably still be pretty upset, just like he's bleeding and. He got hit and wasn't allowed to hit back, and it's like I could have taken her.

I everyone was just yelling. I know, I know. She's like wrapping a bandage around like his wounds or whatever. It's like gaping, like just trying, you know, just a battlefield dressing, you know, like I know I was like basically like here. Yeah. Having that little like couples like I don't even know why we're here. Honestly, I did. I just we do a half job and we don't finish the job. When I back in my day, we killed the demons and then you're going to get OK. They're going to try and do it right now. I know. I know. Sloppy is what it is. It's sloppy. I love him so much.

Just makes them funky. So he is toward the back and he did look like he wanted to sort of move in as in look like he was about to coup de gras. But when he couldn't do that, Fonculous kind of backed up a little bit. And he's actually kind of like in the shadow of one of these pillars that's surrounding this little platform that we're on. And when he stands in the shadow, you kind of can't see him like he's wearing enough kind of black anyway. But he he really is sort of blending with it. And he's just kind of hanging back there watching right now. It's also there's a lot going on.

Yeah. Yeah. He's trying to figure out who's crazy. That's fair. That is fair. Because it's about, I don't know, 45 seconds ago, everyone seemed like they were pretty much on one team. And then. Yeah. Yeah. And the answer is having seizures. And why people are talking to themselves. Right. Can I actually you know what, Jameson, can I get can you give me a perception check because everyone else seems to be kind of distracted. And there's one thing I wanted to get to. So we'll see if you see up to. Do I get advantage for working or pushing? No bonus. Does lurking make your eyesight better or?

Well, I'm actively watching. But yeah. Yeah. You know what? I'll say yes. Hooray. Yeah, sure. Thank God. Wow. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. OK. Oh, you have a plus zero. OK. Yeah. No, you're right. Yeah. We need all the help we can get here. You should lurk more. Welcome to working the character. So two things, actually. One, it looks like this. This this realm, this whatever is a little unstable because it looks like other doorways are opening up like not nothing nefarious, but it looks like there there are portals opening up and it looks like they're two completely different places, right?

You know, something will open up. It's like that's there. It's snowing there. This is a swamp. This is you know, it you know, there are different there are different things going on. But the portal you came in from is going to shimmer and something's going to start walking through. And it's a dog. Are you? So. I attack it. Oh, look at all your faces. You're all so excited. That's so cool. Now, it's it's interesting. Because you would immediately recognize this dog as a vampire, like you would be able to pick on the. It's the case. It's the case. You can't get the red on the inside.

It's going to win. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I have to edit the dog picture now. Oh, no, you don't. I'll share a new one with you. You've already done it. Oh, my dog. I see what you did there. I'm so happy. I'm going to cry. Which yeah, we did this right. We did this. This is our fault. Yeah, I do believe now I'm pretty sure someone forced a pair of teeth into this dog's neck. Like it was Terry. It was Terry. Oh, Terry. Terry's fault. They're not going to let that happen. Cool, Terry. I'm telling you that right now. That's not something. No, you say being a dog is always the right thing to do.

And Terry is a good boy, just like dogs. See if he stays a good boy now that he's a vampire. Well, girl, no, Terry's Terry's human. Yeah, I mean, I want to talk dogs just named dog. Oh, my God. Oh, I love this feeling of this because it's dim grapes feeling. I think this might be racist to funky list, but I think I'm offended because now I'm the second cutest vampire here and it's. I had that locked. You are the vampire until just now. Oh, no, no. Well, you're on different parties. It's fine. Like we're just trying to go. It looks like we're going to the world's best.

Look, the world's in the snow and by push them through. The longer I look at this, the better it gets. Yeah, like there's nothing about this that isn't perfect. Thank you, Jason. This is a gift to. On this for four months. Oh, four months. No, no, no, no, no. Like ten minutes. What like I had to go through a lot of people on fiber. It's my passion, guys. Graphic design. He had ninety nine people submit things and this was the best one. Oh, my God. No revisions. Like it's fine. I love the clothes that it's distracting. So you're going to see this dog walk through and instantly it's going to make eye contact with you.

And then probably start moseying on over to Patrick or like behind him and then just like kind of like do that dog thing where it slinks under your arm and then throws it suit up. It's like, oh, yeah. I'm like, yes. Yeah. Yeah. That thing it's like, so Patrick, of course, going to he's going to have been on the ground sort of crouched down trying to heal a little bit. This has only been a couple of seconds, honestly. And at some point he's going to be like he's going to be looking back. It's going to take more than this. And then everybody else is coming towards.

And it's just like he's confused. Maybe there's nothing going to happen here. And all of a sudden this snoot, maybe not a wet nose anymore. Maybe a wet nose. I don't know how vampire dogs are, but plenty wet, plenty wet with blood. Well, he's going to he's going to recoil for a second because that shouldn't be happening. And then what kind of demeanor is his dog? Nothing's changed. Just completely just like just cool. What's up? Yeah. Just honestly, like obviously it's like, hey, we got separated. Like I just like it's it's very much like, hey, just pet me, OK?

What's your thing? Just an aura of undead around this dog in some way. But I think Terry. Yeah. Because Terry would probably see after like after dog approach, she was like, yeah, like they're like it's like, OK, the dog was super dead, right? Like we all agree. Yeah. That record is going to look right in Terry's face like, are you seeing this? And if if if dog is going to just continue to just act like dog, then petrichor is going to and off of his belt, he's going to because remember, he picked up the collar and he's just going to put the collar back on and tie that.

And then he's going to just rub and just say, all right, good girl. Good girl. Oh my god, seven months, you guys. We weren't sure if dog was going to live for seven months. I'm about to cry in real life. Terry would walk over. I think I'm glad that worked. You fucking did it, sir. You you did this. She's here. I'll take care of her. I swear when she's got to eat, she can eat like I could just like, you know, into a bowl or something. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. I'm sorry. Figure it out. No, we're not going to make this bad. We're going to make this good. This is a good thing.

It's all thanks to you. And Petchicore is going to stand up and give him the give him the the warrior shake, the whatever, Centurion handshake. And then and then he's going to pull him in for a big hug and just hug him real tight. Oh, he'd hug the shit out of you, too, because it's like, hey, a win. Look at that. Oh, shit. I know what those feel like sometimes. And immediately he's just going to go into problem solving mode and just kind of like push back. We get dog to bite that girl. Do you think that works? Let's just see how things are going here. First of all, we got to figure out who's who here.

We got a number to figure out how to get out of here and number three, figure out what we're going to do after that. Right this second. Let's just give it a just give it a moment, Terry. I appreciate your enthusiasm and believe me, it's really come to bear. And he's going to point down at a dog. Just hang tight. Hang tight, boss, boss. Yeah, he's he's him and Tamika already on their way over there. What is going on? Can I was going to without you missing a beat, he's going to get down because he said he saw the ritual in his head like he has an idea of what to do.

Oh, yeah. He's going to say to me to take out the candles and like you hand it over to the candles from his pack and he's going to start rolling whatever cloth he needs. Tamika has an empty notebook that she is readily available to start like writing down any symbols they need. Like, yeah, he's he's going to be empty. Is like you guys. As he's getting to work, he's going to hear a quick call from he is like, we got this. To me, can I know how to handle this? He's going to look at Petrichor. He's like, yep. You work on finding finding find a way out of here for our new friends.

And to me, can I will see you when we finish? Yeah. And then Tamika looking to the crowd of people. I think we'll take care of this and she'll give him a thumbs up and then circle back to writing. Yeah. All right. I mean, Petrichor just got an order. So he's going to be like, all right, friends, new friends. We got to find our way out of here. Which one's our portal? He's going to be looking around. I don't know if he's going to be weird about the portals, but. Zach. You you have a godly connection now. You got you got you got some new life running through you.

Do you want to do me a favor? Your gods nicer than our God. She's fun. Well, your God's more a demon. Yeah, you know, it's a celestial being. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mid level, mid level. Yes. Assistant to the regional manager. So is my God higher on the hierarchy? Technically, oh, yeah. Yours is a God God like. Yeah. God, oh, real ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that like you're I was going to say, can you give me a little religion check? Can you give me. Or can you can you throw it up to Jehovah? Can we, you know. Well, you're not the worst, baby, that's a 16. So.

You've been pretty quiet and I feel like as these portals are starting to open up, you're you're getting a little guidance because things are getting sticky and you just came in and you you helped stop this this whole demon invasion thing, like you kind of nipped it in the bud. Vampire things, another problem altogether that that's that's going to take some civic duty. And, you know, that's that's that's a larger scale thing. But right now, good job. Good job. So you're going to start getting some info dumps on these portals and where they lead, you're going to get kind of a vibe and like you can almost point to a map and be like, oh, this will take us roughly here and here.

Like you're you're getting, you know, so you know that none of these portals so far, you're not going to you're not going to jump into the sawblade dimension or something like that. Like none of these are traps or evil or something like that. It just this particular place is unstable and it's falling apart and you're going to have to make a choice eventually. And, you know, the castle you're coming from isn't in the best spot, especially since you guys came from hell into a vampire infested city with the castle falling down. So like it's not it's not the best.

Let's let's you follow the party. The Merrymen. Yeah, that's so awesome. Are you kidding me? You got such a better God. He got the hottest guy. I'm talking to you, by the way. This is mine. Yeah, it's true, man. You're part of the fucking well, look, you might be you might be in the market soon. OK, so if ever there was a chance to sign up a couple of new members. So, yeah, no, you you you basically were kind of bailed out in the hell thing. You were sent for that. OK, I want to I want to spread the word. I want to, you know, and she kind of made you an acolyte.

And you've been yeah, you were giving you use. You were, you know, a hot rock and bod. And yeah, that's all fresh. Absolutely. OK, so armed with that knowledge, I think Blevins because you, of course, he has been pretty quiet, which is very rare for Blevins. So he's just been taking it in. Things have been going pretty fast. So, you know, this this party has just been in their own world. Whirlwind is kind of felt like we've stepped into someone else's house, almost like crash landed into it, you could say. And then he just he has a moment of like retrospection.

He pulls out his trusty whistle stick and he just starts to kind of do a little do a little ditty on his little stick. And he just looks at this open expanse of portals around him. And Ambry just gives him the knowledge he needs to kind of lead everyone in the right direction when the time comes. So. As everyone is kind of focusing on their tasks, he's going to first, he's going to look towards his own party. He's going to look towards Tati's and look towards the Bellarmine. He's going to look towards Josephine and he can't find a funk list for some reason.

So Ian's there. Don't worry. Ian's open. Ian's always there. He's really the Denny's of people. Oh, nice. Oh my God. Very nice. A plus. Oh, there's no coming back from that burn. Ow. Blevin is going to he's going to cast. I don't know if I can do this from here. He's going to cast Song of Rest on everyone in the area. And his Song of Rest is going to is going to be a light melody from his whistle stick that just kind of softly reverberates out. And he's going to like on the sound waves, you're just going to hear. You can hear. Hear me all, please. I know a way out when it's time.

Just find me. Then you're just going to then everything just going to just hum. He's going to stand back and let because everyone's focused on what they need to do, he doesn't want to be too much of a distraction, but he doesn't want anyone to panic. So he's just going to be more of a just gently raising your hand. It's like, hey, I got it. Don't worry about it. Like just I got the out part. It's almost like, you know, when it's like nine p.m. at a trusty, dusty store and someone comes on intercom and tells you, hey, we're closing, everyone just shuffled towards the exit.

People should listen to that. They should. They really should. Yeah. Hold that thought, Karen. Hold it. Hold that thought. We're going to get back to it. Don't worry. Inward, start to get a little impatient. All right. We stopped the demon thing. What exactly is our next step? Because I have some things I would like to accomplish. I I'm not sure what your intentions are speaking directly to Vella. He yeah, it's like obviously. Yeah. This is him kind of asking, like, do you want to go steady? Like he's he's asking. It's like, do you want to keep partying together? Like it's you know what I mean?

Like it's that type of thing. She'd probably like take a pause, because honestly, ever since they got out of hell, it's been like, where the hell are we and fighting demons? So she probably just like, you know, just kind of take a minute. She'd be like, I have no idea where we even are right now. I woke up in hell and then we fought our way out. And now I don't know where we are, what year it is, if my family's even alive, what happened to the party after I died, you know? So as far as right now, I want to get out of this place and then figure out where we are and go from there.

The group of semi monsters we ran into, they were here before we were here. Maybe they know where we are. I don't know what else to group. What is he talking about? What do you call me? What do you say? Well, this bitch sent me square up for what time you guys, you can't come in here talking all that shit. Stab, try to stab a woman. And say, hey, that woman was a demon. This is a quality. This is how they talk back then. Yeah, he's been dead for a while. Like it's, what's your man? What's your man? No, no, no, no. (all laughing) Don't talk to him. He can't talk to us.

You are a ritual. You don't mean that. I'll show a monster. (all laughing) Like there's the fungus guy and dog girl and that thing with no mouth. I can ask any one of those. I'll tell you what, assuming that, so Petrichor was trying to sort of corral people a little bit, right? Yeah, you might. He's right there. Perception check. What's that? Give me a perception check. Give it to me with advantage. I'll do it. I'm just trying to see. Here's the thing, there's no malice in his voice. He's just, it's just how he's referring to. Yeah, yeah, no, it's not like I hate them.

No, no, I'm just trying to see if Petrichor would have heard that so that he could respond to it appropriately. That's all I'm looking to do. Sure. And stab. 20, 20, gorgeous. Assuming that he heard that, he's gonna, all right, actually, he's gonna reach out his hand to shake to Vella. He's gonna say, "I'm Petrichor." Hi, Vella, this is Ian. Hi, Ian. Lord Ian Cerberus. Excuse me. My liege. And he's gonna do a little bit of a little bow. And he'll say, "I'm Petrichor. This here's runes." Runes doesn't say too much. He's gonna wave. Yep. Also, I feel like the bow looks extra sarcastic because of the big fucking horns.

I feel like that adds some stank to the bow somehow. I wanna point out, he's not picking up on the sarcasm at all. It's like, finally, some respect. (all laughing) It's about time. Quickly, over there, we've got K'Nan, we've got Tamika. They're busy right now taking care of business. I think we probably haven't had a real good moment, except on the stairs on the way up when we were all getting out of breath before we killed all the demon stuff. To introduce ourselves, we are part of a group. We're part of the White Ravens. We're out here trying to help. Believe it or not, we came here to be able to help the city of Donhurst.

That's where you are, by the way. This is a place that has a lot of vampires, as you may have seen or have maybe guessed. In any case, that's not all they had. They also had what we just took care of, which was a lot of demons and a lot of stuff happening underground about some stuff that shouldn't have been happening that we don't even understand. In any case, we've got some cleaning up to do here. That's kind of what our job is. But the truth is, we don't know who you are, where you're from, and where you're headed. And he's gonna look back at Vella, 'cause that's where he started.

- Fair enough. She's gonna kind of introduce the other members of her party. She's gonna be like, "So that's Joe back there. That's Fonculous? We just met him not too long ago." And that is Tatsuya. - Pointing somewhere. - Question. - I was gonna say, where does she point when she says Fonculous? - Fonculous is here somewhere, I think. - She's very short. It's somewhere. He's somewhere. - He's off cursing the fact that your dog is way cuter than he is. But also taller, which is bullshit, really. - They actually make eye contact, like they're eye level with each other.

She's gonna be like-- - The Pippin to his Luna. - We're gonna have the vampire fight. - You're not gonna believe this, but we actually just fought our way out of hell, the underworld, whatever you wanna call it. - So what's interesting is you don't know where you are, but we actually know where we are. We came to hell. Sounds like you went through hell to get here. - Yeah, like we all just woke up in hell and then fought our way out. - Wrongfully imprisoned, by the way. - I'm certain that's the case. - Yeah, we came here and ta-da. - Normally I would call your bluff and tell you that you were liars, but after the things we've seen over the last couple of days, I feel like that actually is the most reasonable thing I've heard in a long time.

So welcome out of hell. And into hell. - Yeah, 'cause I-- - The question is, sorry. - Oh, I was just gonna say before I was in hell, I was on a whole other continent. So I have no idea where we, how I even got here. All right, so where are y'all going? That's the thing I wanna know. - She's gonna do that. - Winterhaven. - Oh, okay. - When was that decided? - She says out loud. - I would very much like to go to Winterhaven. I have business to attend to there and the city's probably falling apart without me. - Under her breath, I highly doubt that. - Fonculous appears in the end shadow.

We should put it to a vote. (all laughing) - You remember the, okay, do you remember the Santos story where he appears in that guy's birthday every fucking year just to screw with him? That's what Fonculous is at this point where he only interacts the fuck with him. - It's so great though. - He already hated vampires. He's not a fan. (all laughing) - I'm gonna haunt this man. - I need to see a map really quick. - Oh yeah, hold on. - I was thinking of that scene from "The Office" with Angela comes up right next to Dwight and he doesn't see her at first. - Yes.

(all laughing) - That except knee high. (all laughing) - Where are you, where are you? Oh, here. - Oh, and this here's Dog. Dog had a little bit of a run in, but it sounds like Dog's not too worse for wear. And this here real quick, he's gonna pull him from the back. He's gonna say, this is Terry. Terry is a Paladin Accord, it turns out. He's been traveling with us for a while. We were actually on our way after all this to get him down to, back to his training. - Is Kord still around? That was in character. - Well, I, yeah, yeah. I don't, I, yes. Absolutely yes.

- Cool. - I think Blevins is gonna like, after Vala says that Blevins is gonna like, kinda like glide in somehow. He's gonna say, a Paladin Accord, admirable, but is there a celebration in your heart? - If, honestly, if we get out of here, I could be like, yes, that'd be great. Do you know a place? - I am. I could show you the way easily. - Well, that'd be great. 'Cause I don't, I have no idea where to go from here. There'd be a lot of options. And Blevins is gonna point to each portal and just name them just easily. You can go anywhere. Trust me and trust in Embry.

- Who? I'm sorry? That's a new one. - It is. It is new. She is the goddess of victory, celebration, of winning. Of everything. Do you not want to win, young child? - It'd be nice. - Yes. Tell me, when was the last time Kord has won? - Well, I don't, I don't pretend to, I don't think I get to represent- - Outdated knowledge. Yes. - Okay, okay. Well, okay. I don't get, I don't think I get to rep the colors just yet. I haven't gone through training or anything. I don't think Kord's been necessarily with me 'cause it's been a little, it's been walking uphill. I'll admit that.

I had two eyes when we started this. So doors, okay. So- - You can go this way. - Where do you- - Back. Wherever you want to go. - Where do we want to go, Raven? - She's gonna look to the rest of the party. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna, okay. So, okay. We got a ritual we got to do in just a second. - Okay. - But everyone else, like with the, like, I'm, okay. I'm about to pull up a map and there's a continental map and then there's the world map and you're gonna have choices. So just, yeah. (clears throat) - I'm gonna go this way. I forgot we were in Dawnhurst. I'm like looking at the map that's above my computer.

I'm like, where the fuck is that? (all laughing) Found it. - I love how Blevins just instantly destroyed Terry's like religious dictation or direction with just one word like, oh, I'm the, I celebrate. We celebrate. And he's like, yeah, fuck it. I'm in. Like- (all laughing) - Terry didn't register that they were talking about like spirituality. Like he was very literal during the whole discussion. It's like, oh, you know the way? (all laughing) - He's not gonna realize. He's not gonna know if it's too late. - Beating, that's my biggest selling point. I got reborn out of hell.

- That miscommunication to continue for like months. (all laughing) It's all literal. And Blevins is constantly speaking in metaphor and that's the new buddy comedy I wanna see. - Well, Zach, let it never be said that you aren't, that Blevins isn't the best salesman I've ever heard for religion. Put that one. - Right? I would have fallen for it. (all laughing) - Fallen for what? It's real. It's God's the real one. - Yeah, it's real. It's there. - Technically I think Terry's in a cult. - Am I a follower now? (all laughing) - We're gonna get ya. - We're gonna need a new one.

We're definitely gonna need a new one after this. - I see some pretty bad deals all across this, this lot right now. The views God's salesman. - We're about to get out of one right now. - God's salesman. - There is no token in this scene that gives you visibility. - Oh, God damn it. I thought I cleared that. - I'm so sorry. - Oh, God, it wasn't just me. I was like, oh. - No, I'm an imbecile. - I see there's a lot of little purple squares. Wait, are those all the portals? Those are all the points. - We don't have to go back through this town. - Thank God. - No, you have not been listening.

- No, I just, I don't know. Like I did hear about the portals. I just didn't register that it's like, wait. - Yeah. - There we go. - That's awesome. Like it just hit me that it's like, we don't have to leave. - Oh man, we don't have an estimate point? - We're just gonna leave that guy in that closet. All right, let's fucking go. - No, that's too bad. - Oh no. - Looks like that's not happening. - There's no burn hall either. - Yeah, we just wanna go to the Brughall one. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - From a portal to hack, hack, hack. - Everyone's dead, all right. - You are not ready for this zone.

- Sugg, sugg motherfucker. - I've wandered into the Western plague lands before I know how that is. (all laughing) - Me too, I actually, I got that reference. I understood that reference. - Damn, no, that's a whole fuck. Sorry, Terry, you're gonna have to, yeah. You're with Embry now, sorry. - We're going to the, there's one near the scar that's like close to Overdale. That's probably the way we wanna go. - Yeah, we gotta report back for that. - Are we seriously leaving that bitch in that closet though? - Let me, okay, so I wanna talk about that because- - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- There's a whole vampire thing happening here. - Our mission, our mission Bree, and I know, I remember you were an advocate for building peace with the vampires. - Yes. - I think us living them in the closet is like, that's kind of part of the peace. We can't interfere with how they're living. - Yeah. - Even though I know all of us were like- - It's literally just one guy. - Yeah, they had a girl, they had a girl in the closet too, I thought. They had other people. There wasn't just one guy. - No, the one guy has the people in the closet. The rest of the vampires are all just blood thirsty.

- Oh, he, oh, so he's like, he's hoarding them. - If there's one. - What do you say? - Hoarding the peeps. - There's one normal vampire and then a bunch of fucking rabid. - Feral ones, yeah. - Yeah, and there's meta knowledge that we should be worried about that, but I can't use that because runes doesn't know. - Also, he helped us, but like, I don't know. - And also our mission was to assess and then figure it out. - I totally agree. I just, I'm just, you know, plain devil's advocate that there's a town of blood thirsty vampires here who are all starving and rabid.

And we have a box that makes the sun. So that's still something we haven't used. - You want to pop it, leave the portal, pop it, and then jump back in the portal. (all laughing) - Yeah, sort them out. - I mean. - All right, well. - You're right, like we were just supposed to collect knowledge. - Yeah. - Let's talk about it when you're done with your ritual. - Oh yeah, fuck this. - Yeah, yeah, you got shit here. - Does Joe give me knowledge? 'Cause she's a cleric, right? - So wait, wait, wait, knowledge about portals or knowledge about? - Well, it just seems like gods are talking to people right now.

I didn't know. - I mean, you want to give me a little religion shock? - Me? - Yes. - Okay. - Jump in. - Has Joe ever said who their god was? - I think, I'm trying to remember, way back in an arc a long time ago, I can't remember which. - I remember that arc. - Yeah. (laughs) - There was a lot of people dying in that arc. - Yeah. - I'm wondering if Joe had a reaction when they were like, oh, we have our white Ravens, or if she even heard that. - I mean, she's originally from like the Brightport area, so it's not going to be like court or anything probably. - Didn't, but wasn't Josephine a member of the White Ravens?

- An honorary member. (laughs) Remembered very fondly for her six episode arc in which she ended- - This was at a time where they were kind of just strapping like AKs to kids and sending them out there. (laughs) - Go take care of this. - Didn't make it past the training period. - Here's a fork. Figure it out. Okay, whose turn is it? - What? - Fonculous is going to climb up Tatiana's back. - Oh, hello. - Hi, if we're going through a portal, I need a place to not be in the sun. Excuse me. And he's going to start throwing things out of her backpack to climb up.

(laughs) - I needed that. Can you just- - No, I'll buy you another one, it's fine. (laughs) I'm rich. And now there's just two beady eyes poking out of the back of her backpack. (laughs) - With Steam, the ritual that Kanan and Tamika doing like recognizable, like from the setup. - Give me Arcana. - Don't like that. I just thought maybe it might be a religious thing. It's fine. - Oh shit, I hit refresh as you were. Sorry, hold on. 15, you rolled a 15. - 15. - 15. Yeah, it's pretty. So this is darker magic than what you would normally like. - Oh. - I mean, it's warlock stuff, you know?

It's so, okay. Here's the thing. This is definitely something it's like, oh yeah, I kind of recognize this. Do you guys need to borrow a spell slot or something? Like that's probably where you could help the most where, you know what I mean? Like you can just, it's okay. If you need to borrow some energy, like that type of thing, but you know what I mean? - 'Cause I think it was like one of those things where like everyone is like crowding and she's like, okay, I'll just like stand back and observe what's happening. And then it's like very clearly something more needs to be done than just healing.

So it's like, I don't really know where to go here. And then if somebody is starting to take charge of it, it's like, okay. Maybe I can help a little bit. - I hate to be that guy, but like how dark magically are we talking? Are we like past 11 PM? Like 12? 'Cause you know, I believe in this stuff and then we gotta keep it light. We gotta keep it bright and happy. - This is definitely TV PG-14. Like we're up there. Like this isn't the worst. You've literally been to hell recently. There's way worse, right? You literally just fought sex demons. So like what they're doing is pretty tame.

You do, yes, no. You can't be fucking up that Nord VPN tie-in. Like, you know. - Just like you don't fuck up. (laughing) - I wouldn't. - I would if we got money from them. Oh God. - That's what I'm saying. You know, until then. - Okay. I'm setting this up now. We're about to do a little skill check challenge. But this one's gonna be public. So everyone can kind of see this and I'm gonna set up a little epic roll. - It's okay, Susan. We just have this woman's hands in our life. It's not a big deal. - I know. - Is it too late to throw any Bardic inspirations out or anything like that?

- I feel like the song, you know what? Give me performance. Let's see how good you are with that whistle stick. By the way, I cannot stop giggling at whistles. - Every time. - 43 years old. I can't. - Blow that whistle, baby. - Oh, okay. Whoa. - Oh. - What the fuck is your modifier? - Stop laughing. It's carrying a lot there. - You wrote a three and got a 15, Zach. - Ambry likes me. - Plus 12. Holy shit. - Jesus Christ. - I did cry on her leg though. I earned that. - She was into it. Okay, well shit. So here's how we're gonna do. We're gonna do different checks from you guys and we're gonna take the average of what you two roll.

So there'll be a DC and it's gonna go up gradually. And what we're looking for is three successes before three failures. This is a razor thin margin. It is gonna be, you know, I have all the faith in you. Again, we're using the average. So, you know. - I'm suddenly nervous. I haven't been nervous in a long time. - The fight was the last time. - Well that's because we haven't played for seven months. - That's the part of it. - That's just math. - Okay. - Arcana check to kick us off guys. We're taking the average. A DC 12. - A plus zero. - You guys are gonna be great.

It's gonna change. It's gonna be Arcana. It's an Arcana check, DC 12. - How do I, oh I just did it didn't I? - Just standing behind you both with pom poms. - Oh shit. - I don't wanna be that guy, but I think if you guys fail, your God's gonna like crack through the, through the like ceiling with his fist. - Okay. We got a 12 from K'nahn and a... - Did you roll? - Yeah, I saw it. I saw hers roll. - Yeah, I thought I saw it roll. - I see it in the chat. I see my little icon. - Did you hit the dice? Did you hit the little die thing? - Oh no. - In the middle of your, yeah that's what it is.

- We'll take the first one. Don't worry about it. - Thank you. - Don't you worry. - It's just failure. - It's just failure 'cause like that's, yup, but we're taking the first one. So 12 and 10, that's still a failure. So 11 would be, so that's one failure out of, now the good news is the DC doesn't go up yet 'cause you know, you gotta succeed first. All right. That's okay. It's okay. - So what does this look like while it's happening? - I mean like. - Yeah, I want some word pictures. So these guys. - Word pictures. - These guys have this, you know, this semi tranquil setup, you know, they got the candles and stuff.

And obviously Clarissa is in a lot of pain. Alex is holding her in the first, like these two are gonna have their hands hovering above them and those candles are gonna kind of like flicker every once in a while, get brighter. And Clarissa is gonna be in more pain for a second. So Alex is just kind of like tensing up, like what the fuck are you doing? Like just kind of like, like she's trusting you guys because you're trying to help and everything. But like, please just help. Like she's bleeding, she's hurting. Like it's not even, it doesn't even look like it's necessarily trying to kill her that is just going to be the end result.

This is just about pain right now. So. And this time we're gonna do, let's do a religion check guys. (group laughing) I think that's plus zero for me as well. Oh my God. Okay, you guys got it though. It's gonna be great. You'll see. DC 12 religion check. We have zero successes. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh Jesus. Oh my God. Oh my God. Okay. This girl's gonna die. This girl's dying. That was, that time is an average of five, six and four. So around you guys, this point, there's a couple of problems you're noticing. There's like a haze around these guys because their patron is constantly speaking to them.

It's like, I will make you suffer. Like you have never suffered before. Like a constant stream of that behind their heads. And while it can't do anything to them, it is gotta be distracting, right? Does anyone have anything that could possibly like, maybe a little Faraday cage type of situation, like anything? (group laughing) Joe, Joe's got religion. I probably got a bunch of stuff. Take a look at that. You're looking for like a spell or what? Something not lightning. Oh, okay. I know you got a lot of that, but you know. Yeah. I've also got a lot of radiance.

I could. That could help. It's a celestial being, but still like, you know. Do you have sanctuary maybe? Would punching help? If you hit them hard enough, they would not be able to hear it for a while. You're right. Can we stab the fog? I in fact do have sanctuary. Isn't that crazy? Give me some sanctuary then. Yes. Okay. So as Joe's stepping in to cast this, there's a pause and the speaking stops talking. Oh. I want you to know that there has been something coming for you. And I have thrown it off of your scent up until now, but I will make sure this thing finds you and tears you to pieces.

And then there's going to be silence again as this kind of like the floor lights up around you and there's this warm radiant feeling like. Can only they hear that? It's yeah, it's direct communication into their noggins. But it does look like the spell's failing, right? Oh yes, no, Clarissa is coughing up blood, yeah. Okay, cool. She's dying on our operating table. So I don't have a spell that does nice things. I could cast blight if that would help. But. Let's see what that one. They feel great on their own. Could I, we could maybe flavor it in a way. Could I channel like give my sorcery points to Susan type thing?

Oh. You know, like basically be like, no, no, you're doing it wrong. Extra magic, you know? Cause that's how he does it. You know, here's what we're going to do. I have a wild magic, so I take to different things. Just saying. Oh, okay. Here's what we're going to do. Because you guys are desperate now, right? Okay. Let's make a deal. Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it. Okay. Because of sanctuary, your next two checks get to be with advantage. Nice. However, let's say they're successful. That only gets you to two successes and two failures. Susan, I will let both you and Alex roll a third check with advantage.

If you agree to roll on the rod of wonder table once after this is all done, wherever you end up. Like this is a massive, like a wild magic surge, right? This is you getting extra magic and it's just like, whoa. Like, well, it's shadow magic too. So it's going to blend with that shit and just kind of go wild. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Okay. All right. It's a no brainer. Yeah. Well then. I don't think I've used a wild magic surge once this entire season. Well then we're due. You got to use it. God, he's. Yeah. All right then. Arcana again, guys. But with advantage. I'm frightened.

There's still a 12. If you hover over the button, there's advantage and disadvantage next to it before you click. So you just have to click advantage. There you go. Easy peasy. Oh God. Oh my God. I brought it down. Canan. Oh my God. We still did it. Yeah. Cause I got 18. 18. 18 from Susan, seven from Canan, but we're taking the average. So that beats 12. Jesus man. Let's see. You got to have you shook, man. It's all right. It happens. Holy shit. Yeah. I don't know. Thematically it kind of makes sense though. Cause like Canan's being like, he's been with this creature in his brain for forever.

So it has a stronger grasp on him. And then it makes him read in there like, we can get past this baby. Like, come on. Let's get out of this abusive relationship. Like trying to. I do. Yeah. Yeah. That's a very good point. Blevins understands he had Dormak inside of him. You sure did. That's far worse. Patron. Icky. Guys. It's 14 now. I remember you still have advantage, but it looks like Alex is having a bit of a hard time. We can make another deal. Not Alex. Canan. I was locked in. Yeah. I've been locked in. Six o'clock, locked in. Ready to roll. Canan's still here sleeping still.

Okay. Okay. Well then. Does any other party member have a bardic inspiration, a friendly slap on the butt, a-- I can give him a direct bardic inspiration. It'll help. Yeah. Straight to the gut. Please God. (laughs) Yep. All right. 14, guys. Alex could turn onto your side if you, sorry. Not still. Canan could really just be a new Ambry pal. So what does bardic inspiration do, Zach? Let's see. I think it's a d8 or d10 now. I think it's a d8 for me. Big boy dice. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Man, I never noticed how thick Canan's lips are. God dang it. They're super, yeah, I've noticed that before.

The artist, he did definitely some nice lips there. I'm into it. There's a part of me that feels like he's actually just doing like he's licking his lip, like. (laughs) Like, I don't know. All right, here we go. That's what I usually see when I look at that picture. Alex, use an analog for this. Oh! 20 from Susan! Oh my God. She's gonna carry it. She's gonna carry the team right here. You got this, baby. Oh, I forgot my new advantage. There was only one! There was only one! Sorry. Pull it again! Still a success. It's still a success. It's fine, it's fine. Still a success.

(laughs) Jesus Christ. All right, guys, you're two and two and it goes up to 16 now. Now, we just did religion. That means we're back to Arcana. Now, sadly, Susan's still got a zero for all this, but it's doing great. I don't want to jinx it, so. I do have a Tides of Chaos that will allow a reroll if we need it, but that would probably make it, because to use that, it's possibly Wild Magic Surge, so. Cool. So Wild Magic Surge and Rod of Wonder, if you use it. Yeah. It's two things. Oh boy. By the way, Alex, that Bardic Inspiration, if and when you do use it, it is a 1d10.

Thank you. I thought so. Okay. Guys, this is a no-brainer. You're gonna do it. It's fucking great. Here we go. So Clarissa's in rough shape here, but this is it. Go ahead, Susan, you first. Oh, okay. Look, guys, here's the play. You do this ritual, get it right, you impress your god. 14 from Susan. So that's two below. Yeah, so I need like, what? Yeah, you got to carry. I get a d10 additional to this. And I can re-roll mine. Yep. Wild Magic Surge. I'll use the d10. So that's 15, yeah. Use the d10. I'll use the d10. So as long as, I believe, as long as you roll two or higher?

Three. That'll clear it. 20, yeah, that'll clear it. That's above 16. Praise Ambry. I'm just gonna say it. (laughter) Team Ambry, that's what we're at now. I'm doing it. So as you got, these candles are basically like little, like Roman candles almost, like spitting up into the air as you're doing this. And you are legit fighting this demonic presence out of Clarissa. And eventually it is going to tear away and you can see it dissipate above the candles and essentially be ripped apart in front of you. And... Does it look like it hurt? Oh God, yes. Yeah, no, did not go peacefully.

This was like, yeah. So Clarissa is gonna just kind of like be tensed up and just in a ton of pain and then just boom, just the bottom drops out, right? But she is breathing. And any healing magic is, it's like, okay, there's no new cuts, there's no new, like she's breathing and everything. She's traumatized beyond belief. There's a lot to talk about, but she's alive. Okay, good. We subverted the kill your gaze trope, everybody. Woo woo! Did it! Woo! Love wins! Just to add insult to injury, just add insult to injury to the celestial, K'Nan's gonna put his hand over Clarissa and give her all of the healing pool dice that he has, that he's been given from the patron.

And I think that is, I have like 11, I think. Healing light, yeah, I have... I'll just use it. I have to target somebody, I guess, right? Oh yeah, you're fine. Just say it, you're fine. Yeah, I'll just use, well, whatever. I'll use like all the dice, I'll use all the dice. So 11, D6, I just dump them all out. Alex is gonna be like beside herself, just like, thank you, God, thank you so much. Like just like absolutely beside herself 'cause it looked like you were murdering her for a second. She knows rationally, that's not what's happening, but she is not a magic user.

And this is far beyond, you know, it's not a problem she can swing a sword at. So it's just this helplessness, you know. So I didn't wanna put more pressure on you guys, but since you succeeded, you're gonna feel a tear inside of both of you. And you have a choice. When you separated the demon from Clarissa, you also began to separate your connection to your celestial. So it, even if you leave, no longer has direct control over you. It could still communicate, but it would take effort. It does not, it doesn't know your thoughts. It doesn't know your feelings.

It doesn't, you know, it's already pissed. This would be a declaration of war. This thing would want to hurt you. So you have the choice of, I'm so sorry and going back and groveling and hopefully making it okay or fuck it, let's run. I know what I'm gonna do, but I'll let Susan answer first. Tamika will feel that and it's familiar for her because this is so new having this connection. And she'll be like, say in her mind to it, like, well, take this as my notice. (laughter) I really don't like the work environment we had and the threatening to kill your employees wasn't great.

So take that in my exit interview and bye. And the turnaround rate on this position is fucking high. - It was high. - It was fine before. - Earlier today. - Yeah. (laughter) - This generation of adventurers just doesn't want to work anymore. (laughter) - I want to sacrifice like you said. - You're not even gonna quiet quit first, Susan. (laughter) - I tried it and it didn't fit. - Sorry. Sorry about it. Not sorry. - Did you try interning in hell first? - Great positions afterwards. (laughter) - I mean, I'm open. - They have a great placement plan. (laughter) - Kanan.

- Alex is going to... - No, go ahead, please. - No, Kanan's... 'Cause I can hear her talking to it when we were separating. So Kanan sees this and he kind of smiles to himself and he says, yeah, not a fan. I really like this new thing called freedom. And in as much a dramatic fashion as he can envision in his mind, it's himself like ripping whatever the holy warlock version of himself is out of himself just through the chest and throwing it away. And in real life, IRL, you're gonna see him kind of like, like he takes a breath, like an extended breath in.

And he's gonna look at Terry as he stands up and he looked to Petrichor and he'll go walk over to Petrichor and I assume everyone's, it seems like everyone's getting ready because Blevins has been playing the, what did she call it, the stick whistle? - The whistle stick. - You'll know it all across Terry's. - It seems like everybody's focused on where they, well, at least have a general idea of where they wanna go. And so Petrichor is gonna, or Kanan's gonna go to Petrichor and kind of talk low, right? And say like, how do we feel about taking Terry to Astrahold and staying there for a little while?

- Well, we should. I mean, if we can't do what we set out to do here, or at least if we scratch the surface, I don't think we can get much deeper. I don't think there's anything we can do more than we've already done. Let's at least go make something positive for somebody. - I'll nod. - Okay. - I feel like runes would hesitate and I'm trying to, I can't find the book I had all of his rocks written down in. So I don't think he had a specific rock for this anyway, but is there dirt on the ground? - It's kind of like dirty rocks, sure, yeah. - I feel like he would make it clear, you know what?

He would probably just point to the portal that's closest to Overdale. Cause he thinks that's the way to go. He can't tell you why, but. - Honestly, Terry would kind of, I really think we should finish this first. We should let everyone know there what's going on and. - Nod, nod, nod, nod. Aw, Terry, you're my guy, thank you. Fucking role playing without a mouth is hard and you're a good person, let's go. - Also, there's no direct portal to Esterhold and like there's a much closer. - That's what I'm looking at. - Yeah, there's a much closer one. - But you know.

- We can take him to Esterhold after. - Terry, exactly, Terry, we're gonna get you where you wanna go, where you need to go. - Look, this is important. We need to tell people, we need to let them know what's going on here. - Well, that's the thing, we need to number one regroup, let people know what's happening and then we can safely get you where you need to go. We're not taking the roundabout through a haunted forest path again. We're gonna get you where you need to go. Well equipped, rested and healed up to be honest. So I think you're right, runes. You got the right direction.

- Yeah, I was not gonna argue. - He'll nod, he'll like yeah. - 100% agree. - There's a portal like 40 miles outside of Overdale, which is the closest you guys have been to a major city in a long time. - Do we count Durn Hollow as a major city? - Vampire threat, which is. - Nah. - Nah. - Nah. - K'naan, we'll look at our new friends, especially Blevins and Joe and kinda like shake their hand vigorously. I don't think we could have done that without you. - Well, it seems everything has worked out for you, I suppose. - He'll nod, yeah, a little bit and then he'll go to Joe, shake her hand also.

And because I mean, it's easily identifiable that he's a cleric, I assume. And so he's gonna be like, I overheard when I was failing at the ritual that you were in hell. It's hard for me to envision the cleric ending up anywhere down there. I hope whatever brought you back here brings you redemption spiritually also. I hold clerics in very high regard. - She's gonna get like. - Backhanded compliment. - I mean, wait. - Oh man, usually clerics are so cool. You're kinda shit, but I hope you get better. - No, no, no. I'm trying to be like, hey. - I wanted to say sweet.

- I can't imagine what you could have done to be put down there. That's weird. Like, shit. - Let him know it was the paperwork that was the problem. - Yeah. - Let me see the cleric back. - He doesn't know is the thing. He doesn't know what was. - It's like a good place thing? Like what? I love the show. - I mean, Joe's just gonna say, you know, shake your hand back and thank you. I don't know what I'm doing or going to do, but we will find out. - Yeah, he nods and smiles. You know, you can tell he has a air of high respect for you and he'll go back to his group.

- So, Phonculus is gonna lean out the side of Tatiana's backpack, which is soft balancing, but he's like three quarters of the way out. And he's gonna extend a hand to- - Banjo Kazooie, yes. - Yeah, he's very good. Joe Kazooie, yeah. And he's gonna extend a hand to Tamika and he's gonna say, you are absolutely out of control. And I respect that. Don't change. - Thank you. I felt your help there. - Oh yeah, you were doing it totally wrong, but that was great. That was a lot of fun. - I generally don't know what I'm doing, but thanks. - That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

Okay, bye. And he goes back and forth. (all laughing) - Keep it easy in there, Nezuko. - Nezuko. - I was, I got it. I was, I wanted to make the reference earlier, but I was like, I think only Bree's gonna get it. And I know she'll get it. - I vaguely get it. Jamie gets it more than I do. I'm aware she's the one with the thingy in her mouth, right? - Yeah. - She hides in a backpack in the sunlight. - Ah, got it. Got it. That makes sense because a vampire, it's a really good joke. So that's saying, it's very funny. - We gotta do the rules. - I know what I want to say.

Okay, so Phonculous goes back into the backpack and Tati's like standing there, like leaning over and going, okay. And then Tamika's gonna go, well, I don't know where you guys are going, but I wouldn't go back into the city. Cause it's just, like we said, full of vampires. They say they got this mayor named Ripley, but he's not keeping them in check at all. So just don't go out there. - Who? Can you repeat that for me? - I think they said Ripley, but they said he's not, he's just, he's not keeping them in check. They're all just feral out there. - Fuck.

- Tati, do you know this Ripley? - Yeah, I do. Speaking of, give me a second. Give me a second. I wasn't ready, Susan. I wasn't ready. - You had to go before I left. - Ian would be kind of quiet this entire time. He's like, figures. Like just kind of like, of course he would know the scumbag. Like they would be bleeding, of course. - Oh man, Ian. - I can't wait till we go back through this town and you get eaten by a vampire. (all laughing) - Well, while Jamie's collecting her thoughts, I did just have one thing for flavor, which is that runes wants to give everyone a hug before they leave.

So he's doing that in the background well. - Alex has scooped Clarissa up and is thanking everyone profusely. Obviously starting with, you know, Kanan and Tamika and then like, you know, Joe and moving outwards. - Yeah. - You had no reason to help. And I owe you all so much. If you ever find yourself in Aubrey, I would happily treat you all to a meal and a drink at the very least. She doesn't have a ton. Like, you know. You helped her move. You get a pizza. Like, I mean, that's, she's got them. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't want to be rude. It's just a little bit like slightly underwhelming.

Some D&D groups get like treasure and shit. (all laughing) - Friendship was a treasure. - I'm sorry, what she meant to say is, you'll all get the gauntlet of fate. Like, yeah, no, that's what she meant. - I did have a question about our previous map. Were there actually floating books all over the place? - Yeah. - Okay. Anything? - Do you want some floating books? - I'll grab a floating, I want to grab a floating book from this nether space that we're in and see what it's about. Yeah. - Give me a D100. - Because we're talking about stuff. - Oh shit. - Lord of the Rings IV.

- Whoa. (all laughing) - Yeah, dude, grab two of those. - Worth it. - Yeah, absolutely. - Oh man, it's the last one. - It's the GTA 6. (all laughing) - It's like a novelization of GTA 6. (all laughing) - It's a two-year-old adventure. - Yeah, exactly. - No. - It's fucking- - That's hilarious. - Thicker than the Bible. - Yeah, it's gotta be, it's gotta be huge. - So, so, so yeah, there's all these books kind of like floating around, it's just kind of, it looks like this was some sort of like a sanctum or something floating in space, but this has been torn asunder over time, right?

So like there's bookshelves and scattered bits of wood and splinters of rock and all that shit. And you're just gonna reach out and grab one of these books and there is a surprising amount of knowledge. About a specific place in Talor. - Oh. - And this essentially, dammit, Jaster, dammit. (all laughing) I'm working on it, okay? I'm trying my best. (all laughing) - That works out. There's a surprising amount of knowledge about Talor in that one. (all laughing) - It is the me is the one, okay? There's a lot of characters. Okay, so there's this island in Talor and you're just kind of like flipping through it, but like there's little drawings of like these themed challenges and there are sets of armor at the end of each one of them.

So there are sealed away sets of armor that are sort of themed after, think of them as like different classes. Like this is a hunter's armor, this is, you know, but altogether they kind of like, it's alluded to that they kind of form something that is bigger, like it's greater than the sum of their parts. Like if you're fighting within a group, I mean a little bit, like it's a little Voltron-y. Like you're kind of like, oh shit. And this is legit something that's in the book. So I could share that with you after this. If you'd like. - That's so sick. - Not easy to get to.

- We all just start grabbing books. (all laughing) - There's a few portals that lead to Talor too, I'm just saying. Or you can take a boat there. You can take a boat, it's fine. Alex is gonna take her leave and go through the closest portal, which is, you know, like 50 miles outside of Aubrey, but it's on the road, it's fine. Like this, you know, it's fine at this point. And again, just thanking everybody one more time before she takes her leave. - We're also gonna make sure she has food and stuff. Like the workers. - Yeah, she's, yeah. - Make sure she's okay.

- Susan. - Yeah. - Can I get a D100 from you please? - Which one's this one? This is a Rod of Wonder one, right? - This is a Rod of Wonder. And this is gonna happen to the area. - Jamie still hasn't reacted to the Ripley thing, has she? - No, no, no, this is, I'm putting a pin in this. This is from me. - Okay, okay, good, sorry. Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. - So don't look at the list. - I thought we got sidetracked. - Nope. Talking to you, Susan, don't look at the list. - I'm not looking. - Okay. - I'm not looking. - No. - Beep, beep. - Oh my God, it's right there.

I will admit, I thought about it and I was like, no. - Appreciate that, proud of you. - Can I look at the list? If I don't say anything? - No. - You have the worst poker face of everyone here. Absolutely not. - That's just it. - Can I say my biggest fear out loud? - That you all die now? - Your biggest fear. - No, it's worse. There's one in there that's like everyone in the party just turns into piles of gold or something. - That is the least climactic ending to a group I could fucking imagine. - You freaking- - Someone's gotta spin me. - Two groups. - Two groups, yeah.

- The second I read that one, it's like, if that ever happens to me, I'm gonna fucking lose my shit. Every time the rod of wonder is brought up, I think of that one. - You know what, then? Do you know what? Hold that thought. Don't roll the 100 first game. Let's talk about Ripley. - Oh God. - Yeah. - We gave you a minute. We stalled. - Okay, you're right. You're right. Okay, I think Tatiana is going to look towards her party, specifically leaving out Ian intentionally and is going to sort of like huddle up with him off to the side. - Just face pushing out of the group.

- Excuse us, Ian. No. - Actual members- - She's more passive aggressive than that. But she'll say, "I do know this guy Ripley. I actually remember Ellen from hell, casually." Remember Helen from hell? That, remember when you met that lady in hell? I actually, she told me that I started a course of events that led Ripley here and I promised her I would take care of this. - Well, I think I'm starting to see why Ambry bought us here, of all places. We have a mission to complete. - How serious are you about Ian not being allowed in the huddle? Because like- (laughter) - Like I said, it's more passive aggressive than like, "Hey, Ian, get out of here." It's more like, "Hey, let me put my- - He can't sit with us.

Got it. - One second, Ian. I need to talk to these people. - Yeah, I know. The second, so I know he would take the second. It's like, "Oh, we're going back. Wait, wait, wait, we can go anywhere we want. We have free reign. You want to go back into the crumbling castle filled with monsters." Want and need are two different things, Ian. - And also you probably get those things confused being a lord and all, but- - I don't really think you get to take the high road with me. - You could literally go by yourself. You don't, we don't need to go with you. - I'm not worried about me.

- Oh. (giggling) - Is your concern for me, Ian? Are you, are we forming a bond? Very sarcastically. - Why is it we need to go talk to this? - Riley. - Why do we need to go find this person? - I don't know that we need to go and find him. I just need to make sure that he's dead. I need to like take care of him. You weren't there, Ian, but Ellen basically told me that, and she's going to kind of start to more look towards the party, but she is talking to Ian while looking at everybody else. I don't like looking at him. (giggling) I don't like looking at you. She basically told me that this was my fault.

(giggling) - If I help you, can I be the new vampire king of Dawnhurst? - Does he say that after leaving the backpack or from the backpack? - No, he's in the backpack. - From the backpack. Perfect. Perfect. That was, that was an important, anyway, continue. - This is a great detail. - I'm not in this scene. - She'll smirk and just say, if you help Fonculous with the amount of power that it seems you have, I will be forever grateful and will make you a crown myself. - I do have a great deal of power. - If we do this, could we go to Winterhaven afterward? A few things have changed and I'm not sure the way is safe any longer.

- If we do this, I will have no say in where we go afterwards. So it's up to the group. - He's going to look developed. Back me up, babe. Come on. - Yeah. She's just sitting there kind of doing, she's probably has like a similar expression to me. Just like thinking, like listening, thinking like, yeah, Winterhaven would be fine because my family lives in Thunderspire and I'd like to check in on them. So that's fine with me. - Sounds like a sound plan. - I think we all can agree. Embry sent us here for a reason. And once we solve that, we can do whatever we want to do.

- All right, let's go kill Rylee. He wasn't listening to the magic. - That's okay. - He doesn't need to know the details. - Point to the guy. Is that him? Stab. Is that him? - So what I'm hearing is these two groups are going to separate. - Sounds like it. You know what? I was hoping we can keep them together a little longer. - Let's trade a guy first. Let's trade. You guys take Ian and we'll get. - We'll take Tari. - We can take Tari. - No. - We're not. - Never in a million years. - We'll be carrying him. - What the hell? - You guys are going closer to where Ian wants to go anyways.

- Red Rover somebody. Red Rover, Red Rover, send Dog Rover. - Tari is franchise patch. He ain't going nowhere. - In the gotcha game of NPCs, sometimes you pull a four star. Sometimes you pull an Ian. It doesn't, you know. - Five stars. - You know what, Lisa? - That comparison works very well because all of my favorite characters in gotcha games are always the ones that are lowest ranked. It's the fewest amount of rares. It's like, oh man. - I can't change them. - But that woman's dressed like a prince. Why doesn't she have 5,000 special cards? And they're like, eh, fuck her.

- I mean, we can laugh and joke, but he is a Lord. So once we get to Dawn Horse, you never know that one star is on five. - Man, that's going to be fucking awkward. Man. Okay. Well. - Whew. - Wait, before we all go, Glovin's supposed to celebrate. You guys want to party? Has everyone's just trying to leave? Wait, wait, wait. He's that one guy. - He's reality's coming apart and pulling. - I did want to know whether or not Ian would return the hug because it was offered to everybody. - It would be like, it's, he doesn't have anything against you other than being a monster.

So like, it would be like a, it'd be like a loose, like bro hug, kind of like, eh, all right. Like, you know what I mean? - Do you want to connect with him on like an emotional level through this touch though? Like. - Do you know what it is? Do you know the, the Obama meme of like dappin' up some guys and just kind of like, and then like, you know what I mean? It's that, like, it would be, it's like, we're not friends. So, you know what I mean? - Aww. - Yeah. - He's trying to be friends for what it's worth. He's trying to form that connection right now. - This is a transitional period.

We may be telling a bigger story or he may be a prick forever. I don't know yet. - Probably that one. - Probably a prick forever one, but we'll see. (laughter) - It's probably that one, so. - Option B. - So we're stepping through these portals. Guys. - Bye guys. - Bye. - Nice to meet you. - Bye. - It was so nice meeting you. - And hanging out for eight and a half months. - Over ever again. (laughter) - Doing, look. - No. - Eventually. You need to let me heal. Eventually. - empty uterine only cross overs from now on. - Yeah. - It's like. - That's, the lonelier, the better actually.

From now on. (laughter) Like exiled people. - Starting with single, then we moved to long distance relationships. Then we moved to the other thing. - Yeah, I'm just saying, I suggested there were 10 portals and there were 10 of us. We could have each done our own portals. (laughter) - Oh my God. - We would have done, we would have had a bunch of little solo shows as we get the band back together. That would have been a lot. - That would have been an absolute riot. - That would have been like an episode of Jackie Chan adventures or something. Like, yeah. - I love it.

- Would have had confiel that. - What a weird cut, but I'm here for it. - Yeah, right? - I don't know. It's just the first thing I thought of. - I know. - It's a real bloatriding adventure. - Except for my birthday. - Yeah. - We could leave streets for each other. - Hang up on my birthday. - I've been waiting since December to say this. Guys, I think that's a good time for us to stop. Thank you so much for doing this. (cheering) Oh, the curse has lifted. I get to play with you guys again. - We got one. - We did it. - I'm so excited. - Listen. - We have homework teacher.

We have a roll with this. - Oh. - Oh, you're right. - There's one. - I mean, I guess so, right? - We have that last thing. - Shit, you're right, Alex. - The D100. - What if everyone could be dead in a second? So. - It's not funny. - No, it would just be our thing. It's fine. It's not you guys. - No, the four of them are leaves. - We separated. - No, no, no. - We landed. - It's obvious that you're dead. - Okay, you know what? I like your moxie. Give me a D100, please. - It's the riddance. - Okay, I spared you guys. You're welcome. - We're all walking away as soon as one person gets one step to the portal.

- Are you gonna tell us what it is? Or do we have to not read the book until next time? 'Cause that would suck. - Please tell me what it is. - Because I did it. - This is an interesting one because of where you guys are going. Could you give me two D20s, please? - Okay. - Oh. - How many? - Yeah, right? 17. - 17. - That's my lucky number. - Susan, I fucking hate you guys. - That's a lot of whatevers. - That's whatever that is. It's a lot of them. - That's a lot. - Handshakes. - So the temperature, the temperature in the region is going to drop by 17 degrees Celsius.

- Oh shit. - It's Celsius. - Celsius week we did. It's a lot. - That's gonna be, so it's 17 plus 17 is 34 plus 20. That's 54 degrees. - So what time of year is it? - It's 62. - 62. - Jesus Christ. Okay. - That was very close Alex. I just used Google. - I used the four man's math how I did it before. - Yeah. - But yeah, that's better. Yours is better. So it's moderate. In that specific region, it's about to get real fucking cold. But you've dealt with far worse. So we're still okay. No one turned to stone. - No one turned into piles of gold. - No one's genitals fell off.

Like it's fine. Everything's fine. - Like. - Dog will love it. You know. - Everyone named Terry explodes. - Everyone not named Terry explodes. (laughing) Very upset Terry. - Oh my God. Thank you so much for doing this. It's so good. - Thank you. - Oh my God. Let me save this before something. (heart beating)