World’s Greatest Grandma

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Howdy folks and welcome back to Frostborn. Before we jump in, I've got something big to announce. Fairyathon is coming! On Saturday, April 26th from 9am to 9pm EST, we're bringing you a 12 hour live stream where multiple groups will play back to back. And this isn't just any event, because this is going to be the first time you're going to meet some of the other characters that are played by other cast members within Fort Frostborn. These oneshots are 100% canon, offering a first peek at the bigger picture of the new arc. Typically, these sessions are going to be Patreon exclusive, at least at first, but we may release them in the main feed during breaks.

They will be having an effect on the main show, consider it kind of like when NPCs are doing stuff while the main characters are off doing their own thing from the other arcs, but you can listen to it for the very first time at the Fairyathon, no cost, no Patreon, jump in there and see what we've got going on. And since Fairyathon does land on the third Saturday of April, it will be taking the place of extended rest this month. And while we're talking about ways to expand your tabletop experience, we're also proud to announce that we've partnered with GM Assistant!

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So mark your calendars, check out GM Assistant, and get ready for an unforgettable Fairyathon! But for now, let's return to Frostborn as they continue their introductions with the Bruegahl. [Frostborn] Oooooooh, let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce ourselves! I'm Jason, I'm your Dungeon Master, going around the table! Starting with Jasper! [Jasper] Hey everybody, I'm Jasper. I play Ruby Pettigrew, the half-orc, gear slinger adept. And Jameson! Hi, I'm Jameson, I play Logrin Cragborn, the dwarven marshal. And Ian. Hey, I'm Ian, and my pronouns are he/him/any, and I play Kymera, the warlock tiefling.

And last and certainly not least, Susan! Hi, I'm Susan, and I'll be playing Nythera Rylith, the elven rogue. Oh god, I'm so pumped. Okay, so let's kick things off really quickly by acknowledging something. And I feel like because it was the end of the session last time, we kind of glazed over it, but something monumental happened. You guys managed to negotiate with a full-blooded orcish clan. The orcish clan, the Brugol, who are known for being a bit more prickly than the mozog used to be. They're two major clans, but not only did they not murder you, but there's kind of a mutual respect thing going on, and that's incredible.

Now you kind of put the cart before the horse in that you obviously have a plan that you're going to need them for, but it's going to be way later, right? So right now it's like, hey, there's your kid back. Can we keep these dogs? I guess. I don't know, but I don't imagine they would take off in a hurry. There'd probably be a little bit of a party there. They got drums kicking and shit. So like there'd probably be some drinking some and to be honest, I was thinking about it. I do believe that they would probably help you out because they're embarrassed for you.

There's a bit of orcish pride that like, it's like, Holy shit. Like this, this is a shit hole guys. I'm like, you live like this. It's like, Oh God. There would also be a little bit of like showing up the dwarf. It's like, wow, you guys are known for your craftsmanship, huh? Just kind of like looking around at the shit falling down. Nothing about that dwarf and don't even do that. No, this is built by humans, which none of us are. So I can talk all the shit I want. Sure. Yeah. Well, so are we still standing up on this hill talking with these guys right now?

I assume so. Right. That's where we kind of left off. Yeah. I genuinely think you were close to your, I mean, you were right outside of your, yeah. I'll call it a fort. It's a Fort light. It's a Fort. It's ruins. It's ruins. It's potential. Yes. In a Fort night, it'll be a Fort light. And anyway. So I imagine there's a bit of like, all right, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna get some drinking going on and, and something, but they didn't come here to drink. So there's probably a bit of that, man. I was ready to kill something. And now I guess, I guess we'll hang out and party with you for a little bit and like, you know, blow off some steam and stuff.

And it's kind of also a way for them to vet you as, as an individual, specifically logrin. But the rest of you, you know, there there's a, there's a half work in the mix too. So it's kind of a way to vet you and see kind of how tough you are, how, you know, just, just if there was a fight, how quickly could we have killed you type of thing. And they test that through like a, Hey, let's arm wrestle. Let's do this. Let's do that. And I don't, I don't want to paint them as dicks, but they would definitely be singling chimera out. Definitely cause he's got some twink in them.

So basically got the show and they're all show muscles. It's all show. Show muscle. Right. But like there's something like one, like your art reeks spellcaster, right? Like you probably never held a sword in your life. Like you know, and you could be very skilled. The, the, the brook all kind of came around to spellcasting a little while ago, but at the same time, you know, they don't expect the elf to be huge. The half orc is, you know, you're lean, but that's, that's probably cause you know, and, and the dwarfs, the dwarf, but you like that, you know, so they would probably like, I think one of them would challenge you to an arm wrestling contest just as a friendly, like, it's like, come on, let's, let's get in there.

And it would probably be one of the, it would probably be one of the females. Excellent. Well, I'm John. That does not mean they're smaller. That just means, this isn't world of Warcraft orcs. They are almost the same across the board. Think Snusnu. It's more that kind of thing. Chimera raises an eyebrow. That's exactly what Chimera is thinking. I've got something. I've got a little form of strength training that I think we'll both enjoy a little bit more. Do you, do you, do you? Oh, absolutely. I do. Oh, shit. This could be interesting. Okay. Fuck it. Let's go. There's a strong, probably like musky smelling orc woman coming up and is like, I want to arm wrestle you.

And she's like, ah, we could arm wrestle, but we could also do some other kind of wrestling. If you want to text my endurance. Damn. Okay. Guys, we're going to need a new fourth member. That man's about to die. I was just thinking levels of exhaustion. Yeah, we're going to slap some fatigue on here for sure. We'll just throw that up to six. It's just before death, but you know. Okay. Do you know what I'm going to, I'm going to get, I want to give a roll here because I'm interested. I have a theory. 16. Okay. So not only, not only does someone come over to kind of single you out because I, and I, I'm guessing that like, Lagran has no problem drinking.

Nythera's probably got a way of blending into the, I mean, just kind of like you're there, but you know, just kind of like too cool for school a little bit. Like, you know, Drinking by yourself, you know? Yeah. She doesn't have a problem. Pretty affable and you know, probably has no trouble drinking or like hanging out, but like Chimeras got a different vibe and it's kind of a posh, you know, preppy kind of vibe. And there is, there is a woman named Lursa. L-U-R-Z-A, Lursa. And she is going to walk up. She's very lean muscle, but like muscle just, you know, small for an orc, but big for a Chimaera.

I'll put it that way. Right? Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. And she'll, she'll, she'll walk up. I'm wrestling. Well, we could. Wouldn't that be fun? But there are plenty of other games that I excel at that I think you'll like. I'm OK. On a scale of one to 10, does she know common? Like how much common? Ten being fluent, right? For some reason, right? You know, sometimes they need a translator, right? Ah, shit. Well, that's a two. OK, so we have a language barrier. Excellent. OK. I imagine every like eighth word she's picking up, it's like I understood games. I was like, I guess you could qualify that as a game, but, you know, a little confused.

Now, Kalgoff understands that sometimes, sometimes his presence can be off putting to newcomers. Would he prefer to just kind of like, hey, and, you know, like, like sidle up? Yes, probably wouldn't go over with the end. And you dead does him no good. Right. So you're going to hear him whisper and it's kind of like it's almost kind of like in your mind, you know, echo. So it's not audible, but, you know. Do you need a little help with her? I don't know. Maybe not yet, but if you're free, maybe stick around. I think whatever happens, you're going to like it.

It's definitely shows promise here. And he's going to kind of whisper some some deep speech nonsense in the background. And then all of a sudden when she speaks in orcish again, there's going to be a secondary, like it's distracting. It's like someone standing there with Google translate on a phone and just like replaying what is said. You're like, OK, no, I hear that. It would be nice if I just heard the one audio track. If you have ADHD, this is going to be terrible for you. But you know, like there's a secondary common. What kind of game are you thinking?

Well, it's a game that also involves strength and endurance. And a chance for you to show off your skills. Give me a persuasion check. Oh, no, I'm actually terrible at these, by the way. Well, see, here's the thing. It's not you're not trying to persuade her of anything. This is more just like vibe check. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I gotcha. I gotcha. Persuasion. Yeah, here we go. Wow. Well, there's our first roll of the night. It is a crit one. Well, G Golly, there's a script. There's a script. What the fuck? Dyslexia nonsense was that there is a crit skill failure table.

Would you would you mind? I'm sure this won't impact anything. No, not at all. Oh, God. I mean, Chimera, you have bitten off more than you can fucking chew. What do you need me to roll? Historically, ones do well for this group. It's totally fine. It'll turn out great. Somehow get nine potions out of it. Yeah, you best friend. What you need me to roll for the table? It is right there in the chat. Just click on it. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, a three. You're embarrassed by what just came out of your mouth. You gain one level of strife. So that's that's not bad. That's just the mental fatigue.

We'll get to the physical. Yeah, she's. Oh, good. OK, with a one, I don't think it comes off as flirting so much as you trying to get out of not arm wrestling. So she's challenging you to something. It's like, whoa, what if we checkers like it's it's it's. And she will reach out and grab your hand, like not in a forceful like gimme, but like grab your hand and then kind of with the other hand, like clasp over it. And she'll say, don't don't worry, I'll be gentle. I'm not here to break bones, but like kind of comforting. But in orcish, it's all consonants.

It's it sounds real harsh. Yeah, Kamira is like, oh, I'll sort of like she takes the hand and I imagine it's he's just sort of like, whoa, OK, whoa. All right. Yeah, not like gimme like it's more like commit, but you're coming with me like a little bit of like that. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, oh. I like the dominating type. Very good. And just so you know, and he's going to like put his arm on her like bicep and just give it a little squeeze. And he says, you you don't need to be gentle and you can break a few bones if you want. So let's talk about rolling new characters when the need arrives, like we're you know, I've come up with a mechanic for it.

I don't want to you know, let's say someone's pelvis gets shattered and you have to be in a body cast for a while. You know, there's a mechanic for that. Great. Wonderful. There's going to be like like it's almost imperceptible, right? But like the corner of her mouth is going to curl upward just a little bit. And she's going to like square up with you like there's a little like bit of wood that kind of makes a table. It's like two old doors that have fallen over and it's like, OK, she's going to like it. So she's showing you how she's going to assume it's like this little guy's never had to arm wrestle before.

OK. And for her, I think it's kind of a backdoor way of like getting to touch you like it's you know what I mean? It's almost hair pulling levels of you know what I mean? Like it's like, oh, she's interested like that. You know, very great school. Can I get an athletics? Yes. Go ahead. I'm interested. interested in what it's going to be because it's going to be at minus two. Just so we're all clear. I don't think we were expecting more than that. Like I think that, yeah, that's OK. I could roll high. I could roll really high. So you could roll real high. You sure could.

Here we go. But I didn't. Well, it's a five, right? So you can feel her holding back like she's waiting, like she's waiting for you to like get in there. She didn't want to hurt your pride. So she's she's she she kind of like, oh, like flexes back like that. But then whatever orcish thing in her head, it's like, I don't care how hot he is. Smash. Like, just like it's going to. Yeah, it's like and boom. Yeah. I need. I need to roll an athletics check for her. If it's four times more than your five, we might have an issue with. Injuries, but I'm sure it won't be.

Gotcha gotcha. Oh, this is this is interesting. Oh, my God, it's real close. Well 18 for a total of twenty two. I can I get a constitution saving throw from you, please? Yeah, sure. Yeah. This I think I got. Oh, good. There we go. OK. Twenty two. OK. So that's the meat. OK. Well, no, wait. Sixteen. Sixteen. Yeah. So she's going to kind of like let the arm wrestling get away from her and just like blam and then wait to see how hurt you are. But you're not. And that smile is going to like curl up like Grinch levels of. And she's going to lean forward and she has manicured nails for an orc in that they are little daggers, basically.

And she's going to run one of these. Down your chest and gradually apply pressure until you tell her to stop. Now, on a scale of one to ten. Ten being she's inside you now. How long do you let this go? I think. There's. I think Khaimir is into this clearly, but I think there's another like thing in his head and it's where we have to like make a good impression. Right. Like this is all this is part pageantry, you know, like this is diplomacy. Exactly so like. So, yeah. So this is like all of this is like a part of like helping out with the plan and like helping out the people that he's with and helping out Logran.

And so I think he's going to like just keep going until it draws a little blood. And and when that happens, he's going to take her finger and remove it from his chest and and just like bring it up to his lips and lick it, lick it off her finger. Oh my God. There's no skill for this. There's no there's I guess give me give me persuasion with advantage. And this is. You're married. Not even an advanced fifth edition, a fifth edition. There's no skill. I could build one real quick, but. All right, persuasion with advantage. One second. Mm hmm. Two, two, two, two, two advantage.

Here we go. Oh, well, we'll drop that one to take a 19. Twenty three. Here's what's going to happen, and then we can pan away from this because, you know. So do you remember the baby carriage, basically the the the the one that was tied to all the dogs, it was it was really like a, you know, like a sled. But yeah, so that's no longer tied to the dogs. And she's going to grab that by the handle and drag it on the other side of the wall. So it's outside the fort. And with her other hand, she's going to drag you. And whatever you think might be happening on the other side of that wall.

Probably is whatever the most. So, yeah, there are noises. Yeah, it pans away. And it's like the dogs are barking. So it's like you start to hear the noise. And then it's like, run, run, run. Yeah. Yeah. And I just I whispered a call. I just like as she's pulling away, I'm like, buckle up, big guy. Oh, this is what he honestly you guys were a little on the it's like, hey, you have yet to drug your friends. You said you were going to. And it's like, but OK, no, no, no. This is see, this is why this is why this partnership works. This is what I want. Like he just wants to experience life.

Exactly. Yeah. This is the amuse-bouche. This is the amuse-bouche. Right. This is it. This is what? Yeah. It's like, yeah, yeah. Adventure, blah, blah, blah. But, you know. Yeah, I have to and I have to convert her somehow. Get her contract. We'll get there. We'll get there. Pillow talk. It's the rest of you guys. Is there anything that you want to try to accomplish that this party like, do you want to try and show off? Do you want to try and fuck? I don't know. Like that's now the bar's been set. Like I, you know, can't follow any of that. I don't know who it is, but I would like to think that at least one of us had an eye on Kamara the whole time just to be like, is he going to be okay?

But then they were on the corner like, well, he's probably not going to be okay, but. Probably Nystera at some point was going to walk up and like solve it. Be like, just say an orkish to her if he couldn't get across. Oh, he wants to fuck. But then when they figure it out without her help, she's just like, okay. That's a good friend. That is a good wing woman. That's yeah. And then she watches them all go like, go outside the Fort and hear all the noise and just like rack focuses to Nystera's face. And she's just nodding like, yep. Okay, good. That got solved.

Big Gulpa drink. I liked that that was a problem. Like on the to do list. It's like, all right, that's been handled. Like not as a single friend. Well, this this party's got to go probably till nearly dawn. Right. There's a huge fire. They do help you out in terms of, you know, clearing out this rubble, clear, you know, trying to get it. And then probably please, Susan. Can they help us pick up the door? Oh, yeah. I feel like with all of us, we'd be able to do it together. I you know what? I want to see how helpful they're feeling. Hold on a second. Okay. So yeah.

So honestly, clearing out all the rubble that was in, you know, camp and then just setting like probably they would probably assume you don't know how to build walls or anything like that that are going to, you know, giving you some hints and helpful tips and stuff like that. And then kind of leaving you to it. And then just it's like, all right, we got to we got to get out of here. Good talking. Well, I think before it like during the course of the party, Logger and I definitely tried to get time with the the leader woman who he had initially liked when he basically exchanged blood with right.

Her zone. Her zone. Okay. You are Zuel. You are. So yeah, so he tries to get time with her. He definitely asks her name, obviously, and he gives his he asks the baby's name. Wow. Look at you. What is that? What do you call that? So it okay, genuinely kind of touch that you would even ask like there. It'd probably be almost like why? Like almost like what are you going to do? Like that type of like almost and then it's like, oh, you're just making small talk like that's, you know, because dwarf orc relations have always been a little new. And it you know, that gal.

That gal. So he will just to kind of sum up because I don't know that it's important to get into the details of it. But just to kind of sum up, basically, he wants to spend as much of this party with her as he can, because he's trying to get her to talk as much as he can. He wants to know, you know, about the baby. He wants to know kind of the problems that they've been having. The Brughal in general as a tribe, specifically related to stone sunder or any problems that they dwarfs have been causing or anything else in the area, really. He's basically like, inviting her to talk about herself because he wants to learn as much as he can.

OK. Give me a little persuasion check, just kind of like like we're chatting, you know. Yeah. Oh, that's a 12. It's not terrible. I think. I think you'd probably get the same amount out of somebody. It's like, hey, how's things? And they start telling you actually how things were. It's like, oh, I just I just I just wanted to say like, hi. Like, yeah, like, did you catch the game last night? Not, you know? Yeah. Kind of more like, hey, how's things to somebody, you know, who's been having kind of a rough go, you know, so you're expecting here a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah. And she would, you know, kind of tell you it's like this, the baby thing is, you know, this is an insight into how they're living. And she would probably flat out tell you at one point, this is one insult too many. And this is people feel free to come to us and take because we aren't as strong as we used to be. And you know what? I'm going to have her role and insight to see if she can, you know what I mean, kind of picks up. It's like, why are you asking? Why do you care like that type of thing? Try to you know, you guys are feeling each other out.

Yeah. So this is, it's not great. It's a plus two. Oh, and that's a three. So five. Yeah. She's not gonna, I don't think she'd pick up that you're probing or anything like that. Just no. I mean, he has a genuine interest in his motivations, whether or not she picks up on it. His motivation is to understand how that tribe has been hurt or affected at least by stone center. He just wants an understanding because he's never had one. He's never had an opportunity to talk to anybody of the brew golf before. So he's trying to understand how stone center has affected them just from her perspective.

She would tell you up until probably about 15, 20 years ago, the brew goal would expand and then there would be a pushback from stone center. They would fight sometimes the per gold would win. And you know, like we're talking territory exchange in like a mile or two. Like it's always, you know, but in recent years, a sickness actually spread through their camp and they lost half their tribe, like half of the total, you know, that's why this baby is very important to them. And like it's, it's, it's kind of symbolism. And since then they, they would, they would just call it dwarves.

Like not, it's like, I don't know what family, but they will push in on us to prove a point to now it's now it's to show off. Now it's to prove points to other dwarves. It's to, you know, things that used to be big badges of honor. It's like, man, I survived this union. Now it's like, yeah, you're just picking on. Like they're half the size they used to be. And you're just, you're just like kicking someone when they're down, they're not encroaching on our territory. We are actively encroaching on theirs and it's getting smaller and smaller as they kind of go back to back and they're overcrowding I guess is, is a way to put it so that they can protect their young.

What, um, the sickness is a gone or is it still a problem for you? It comes and goes. It doesn't seem to affect this generation, but our elderly are all gone. Do you have a name for it? She starts, you've never seen this with an orc before. And granted you haven't had a lot of conversations with orcs, but there's, there's a, there's a moment where she starts to talk and then like kind of pulls back. Like just it's, it's like, look, that's our finest medicine people worked with it, but we lost most of them as well. We're hoping it doesn't return in force.

What does it look like when it takes somebody? They wither away their muscles deteriorates. They eventually can no longer stand. They can't eat and they waste. I'm glad to hear that it doesn't affect your young and I hope it doesn't return. You know, the end of the party when it's really just two or three people left and they've all had a lot to drink and they're just having a very earnest conversation in the corner. Yeah, that's, that's, that's kind of what this feels like. You know, it's millennial therapy. Yeah. I, I think that there'd be, I, cause again, it seems like a very private conversation.

This isn't like a, it's like, yeah, you guys are. Why are you not with your people? And he does sort of like to sit back a little bit like, Oh man, the same dwarves who cause problems for you cause problems for me and I'm not welcomed there, but that's going to change and if when we're ready, if we come back to you for help and we can take that mountain that I can make sure that it changes for you too. Let me know the persuasion check. 17. 17. Be this any other day, I would not believe a word that came out of your mouth. And then she'd look at the baby.

However, some things may change and she'll hold out her hand one more time. As like a big, like, you know, that big forearm, like, you know, chunky shake thing. I wish you luck in your mission. He returns it and he says, uh, your people can sleep here if you need to. If you get on the road, wish you a safe journey. We'll come find you when we're ready. Do not take this as an insult, but this place sickens us. We just got here. We found it like this. It was, have you been robbed or assaulted? It's the start of something new. It's never pretty at the beginning.

To shitty. I know. Good. It is good that, you know, actually, and he kind of waves for her to come closer. Yeah. Just, it's like, okay, yeah. What are we gonna do about this? This is fucking embarrassing. Like you, you can't lead your people like this. You got to clean your life up, man. You talk a big game, but look at this. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, look, let's start at home. So he leans in and he motions for her to come closer. Do you want a goblin to eat? I don't care what you do with it. Honestly, I don't need any more pets. And then like they, they, they have those big war things that it's like, we're fine.

That's fine. I thought I'd offer. We had an extra. Did it come with the shit heap? Yes, actually. I'm sorry. No one should take on a curse as large as this. That's okay. We can send others to help at least establish walls. You know what? And he'll, he'll shake her hand again. We'll go for the three Pete. That would be, we would be in your debt for that. I'll even throw in a goblin. It would be like a, to them it's, it's, it's like, look, man, you got to keep up appearances. Shit's rough. I get it. Trust me. But like, can't let them see it down like this. Like you got to, you know, so you caught us at a weird time, man.

I think to them, it's like, Oh my God, do you live like this? Like, we just got here. We're not even living here. We just got no, no, no, no. Like we just, this is a shit hole too. Like it's fine. Like I just got here. Like there are 14 other people who owe me a lot of labor as soon as they get here. And yeah, as, as of like the, the sun's starting to rise, they're gonna, they're, they're gonna get ready and get their shit and get out of here. Ian, I didn't forget about you. There's more? Well, there's repercussions potentially we need to. Oh, gotcha. Okay. That's fair.

That's fair. So, okay. What I need from you, believe it or not, I had mechanics for this type of thing when it comes up. However, we're going to keep it simple tonight. Can I just get a constitution saving throw? This is just, well, there's, there's this and an athletics role. Oh, okay. But the constitution save is for your benefit. This is for your safety. Gotcha. Okay. Here's the constitution saving throw. No, I mean that to pet, like, are you trying to razzle dazzle? Do you, do you know? I was gonna say, I don't know if this has any bearing, but me and Lursa, you know, when we, when, when we're back there, I would like to cast a spell on her with her consent, of course, but something, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, Oh, this isn't this, this will enhance things.

It'll make it better for you. This is really something more from me. Like, this is something I need to make me feel comfortable. And yeah, if, if, if I've got her consent, I will cast charm person on her and it just makes her like me. You know what? Hold onto that thought. I can make it sparkle. Color spray. Oh God. Oh my God. Susan, if I could do that in real life, like if I could take a pill to do that, if all of us could do that in real life, like among us would say no to that. I if I could have, okay. If I could bank this and I know that I can only do this once in my life, but at the moment of climax, it sounds like a party favor going off.

It's like, I, I would love that. Just what like, and I know that I'm going to die right after or something. It's like, this is my last act. I love it. Live for the bit. That's what I say. How does that not come up at the eulogy is what I'm saying. Okay. Can you do me a favor? You made D 100 roll. Yes, you got it. 38. Okay. So she'll agree to this. Magic is a very it's, it's the one area where a lot of orcs are, are, are weak. Right? And they're like, it's, it's, it there's a lot of trust, but she digs you. So she'll, she'll go for it, but she wants to put you in this cradle and treat you like a baby.

Okay. Not the weirdest thing I've done today. And yeah. And, and chimera is like, I, chimera is like, yes. And he knows that, uh, that she won't hurt him because she'll like him and she'll like it too. And everything will be good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She already liked you. That's the thing. Like Dumbo, the power was in you all along. Like you didn't have to, you know, you didn't need the feather. I mean, you may have needed the feather, but like not for flying. She's never been with someone outside of her species and isn't quite sure how things conclude. So she has seen, uh, uh, a human, uh, uh, celebration before.

So after you guys are done, by the way, your fatigue is completely healed through this act. Oh, I have yet to. So it recharges you sex recharges. Chimera. I love that. I can't do anything about that. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. So after you guys are done, she high fives you. Oh, okay. Yeah. So Chimera will, Chimera like big hand and he's like, um, and he'll high, he'll, he'll high five, but he'll lace his hand, his fingers into her hand. Okay. Okay. And just kind of like hold it there and give it, give it a squeeze. Uh, and he'll also cast a little bit more magic.

He'll do a little press of digitization and there'll be like a little, like a little glow. Yeah. Yeah. A little, a little less noise, a little more subtle, but like something nice. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Uh, yeah. She really likes you actually like this. It's like one, you didn't get injured at all. Like that's probably what she was most afraid of. It's like, I'm going to kill this guy. Like this is, that's going to be awkward. And I think part of it is like, yeah, yeah. So the, the, the, the, the, the crib thing's a little bit for the bit, but also it is a good way to dispose of a body if things go poorly.

So like I could just wheel you out into a snowdrift. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like lesson learned. Okay. And you know, but yeah, she'll, she'll, yeah, she'll probably like give you like a little hug. But can't be like squeeze you and make a show of it, but only for a second. It's like, I could crush every bone in your body right now, but like in an, isn't that so hot way. Not a, you know what I mean? Not a threat. Yeah, totally. Totally. And she'll be on her way with, with everybody. I love to leave an impression dogs by the way. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Eight dogs. You have eight dogs. I was food sorted for at least a while. Oh boy. If you want to lose the audience, start eating those dogs. The ones look like chunky Shiba Inus. Oh yeah. That'll we're the good guys. I promise. Yeah. Another slice. And a goblin. You guys got a goblin too. So yeah. Give yourselves a long rest. Everybody just give yourself, give yourself a little long rest. I know you partied most of the night, but I imagine you'll sleep in a little. In Haven? Kinda. I, you know what, because of the fire, I'll say yes. Normally you need walls at least for a Haven, but no.

Yeah. I'll say yes. Okay. And I still got some strife, right? I've got this strife level of strife. For a day. Yeah. Got it. For a day, but you know. I have questions to ask everyone before we move forward here. The immediate stuff you're waiting for the rest of the people that signed up for this. So you're waiting for people to come in and they should be here with them the next few days. Right now is the sixth, I believe, of Alta Orn. Hold on. Calendar. Where is the calendar? Which one? The bookmark thingy. Bookmark thingy. Well, I'll figure it out. I know that there's journal notes, day stamps, blah blah blah.

It's one of those. I'll figure it out. I think it's... I have us on the fifth. I'm looking at it right now, so if this is the next day, is that the sixth? Is that what you're talking about? That would be the sixth. All right. Cool. Gotcha. Sweet. So there's a couple of things. Something's about to happen, but I'd like to ask you all how you'd like to start your day before this happens at you. So is there something that... Me, you're in. Yeah. Yeah. Lagrin at the start of the day, because he's not sleeping, but at the start of the day, he will basically keep an eye out and wait for Ruby to wake up.

And then when he does, he'll kind of take her off to the side for a sec. Yeah. I mean, she's snoring forever and ever, but at some point she's going to get hungry, probably. That's what he keeps saying. Some point she's going to get hungry. That's probably a thing. Yeah. No, no, no. She's up. She's going to wander out. She probably has quite a bit to drink. She was taking part last night? Yeah. Not like super partying. In fact, what she probably ended up doing was rather than partying and dancing kind of a thing, she was probably finding whatever orcs that she could get on the same wavelength about checking out her gadgets and trying on her wrist ballista and shooting things off of a little fence.

She was just like going hyper-focused with a couple of other of those orcs. But yeah, she partied a little bit. But yeah, she would get up and if you pull her aside, she's there. And it's not like they need to get a great distance. None of this, I don't think is any kind of huge secret from the rest of the group, but just a couple of pieces of science. I just want to check on you. You seemed a little hesitant giving up that baby. I just wonder what's going on. I know. I know. I'm sorry. I won't lose my mind again. I'll be honest with you. You never told me there'd be babies involved in any of this stuff.

Everything on your list is insane and babies wasn't on it. I don't know what happened. I'll be honest with you. I hold in that little baby. I kind of saw myself a little bit. I mean, it had tusks. Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm not as much concerned about the what is the why, you know, like I get it. I just want to make sure that you're, you're all right. Because because I get it and handing the baby away. It's hard. Listen, I can tell you this for a little bit there. All I cared about was that that baby would be fine. I wasn't sure that baby was going to be fine at all.

Honestly, had a pretty good time last night and damn it. She's gonna shove you like not angrily, but like, probably won't move him. She's gonna be like, bam. But when you stubborn son of a bitch. I mean, you made it happen. The Brugal she's gonna she's gonna look and act like as big of a deal as it really was. Of all the things on the list for this ridiculous plan of yours. The Brugal was one of the craziest and you got him. So I know I know I know I lost it. I'm okay. Everything's fine. The baby's fine. I trust them. I trust you. Just no more babies. Okay. Listen, I expected the babies just about as much as you did.

So I'd be okay with that too. But this one, you know, it's worth keeping an eye out for. But listen, just because we got them friendly with us and he'll glance over at Kamira. Just because they like us doesn't mean this is going to go well. We still got to convince them of a few things when we come back around. There's a long history between them and stone sunder. They're going to want to fight to your advantage, though, you know. Yes and no, they want to fight. But our goal is to get this to happen with no bloodshed. So it's going to take some time. It's going to take some talking.

We'll see if that happens. Here's what we need to do. We need to find out about what they've had an illness. We need to find a cure for it. We need to bring it to them. That shouldn't be a problem at all. She's sarcastically saying that, by the way. And he's like, Yeah, I know. That's what I was thinking. I'm glad we're on the same page. She's going to clap you on the shoulder and then whatever you say, Logran. And she's going to start heading over for some to put something together for some breakfast on her way as she starts to walk away, though, she's going to say, By the way, and this is thinking about this.

She's been asleep every time this goblin has shown up. So she's never met him, been introduced. And she's just going to say as she starts to walk away, starting to get some breakfast together. By the way, who's that? She's just going to point as she's walking away. Make sure you see some bacon for that little rat gets it. If you if you genuinely it's like, who's that? Like it knows enough. It's like, grimble, just kind of like wave it now permanently is on the back of one or multiple dogs, sometimes straddling to at once, like like I have conquered these beasts and they love him.

Like I had him roll for it at the end of it. Animal handling through the roof. So they haven't barked since the whole party last night. They're totally cool. Wow. OK, well, got a job. While they're having their conversation, Nythira is going to wait for Chimera to get up to and she will have a extra strong cup of coffee ready for Chimera. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I need some water to eat it. Yeah. And I could eat what? How many dogs ate and a goblin? Will you settle for bacon? And she holds out a plate. Yes, thank you so much, Nythira. Those, Brukall, they...

Well, they they they know what they want and they know how to get it. She's going to raise an eyebrow. Well, did you get what you wanted? I think yes. Yes, I did. I always do. And I think I think we've strengthened a bond here. Well, an orc is an experience, so I knew you would need this waiting for you. She gestures to the breakfast and the coffee. One of these sheebs is going to come like marching up with grimble on its back, followed by a flock of the rest of the dogs, like prancing up to the bacon, like waiting, just like not stealing, waiting. No. Yeah, Ruby seeing all that, she's just because she's putting stuff together, she's cooking some stuff.

She's going to see it. And, you know, whenever the dogs kind of if you have a dog like on one of the family members somehow and you're like, come here, come here, come here, just like distract. She's going to and then she's going to toss whatever sort of scrapings off of that pan just on the ground. Just just something to. You get the distinct impression that grimble is the middleman between you and the dogs. It's like I'll handle this. It's fine. Like that, like grimble is their union rep, like just coming to like so like gripping the little she by its ears and just like it's like, all right, I've got this.

It's fine. And yeah, like eventually they'll get it. This will exponentially this will eat into your rations pretty quickly. So that'll have to be figured out. But dogs can put the use in, you know, there. Yeah. So these are winter sheeps. They are ready for this kind of weather. So you could use them travel at least. Right now. They already killed a man doing that. I'm not sure. I think the stab wound did it mostly. But I mean, they didn't help. Yeah, they did drag his head across rocks also. They did. They did do that in their defense. Bacon bacon was also a big kidnapper slush lever.

So yeah, they're not. Maybe they're going to get to that point to like Lagram will look up at like to night there and he'll look up and be like, I think we just leave that there. Honestly, it's just on the wall. The good thing, it won't smell like it'll, you know, the weather takes care of that. Yeah. Hey, everybody, do me a favor. Give me a D 20. Whatever rolls lowest, I got a prize for you. Oh, yeah. What? This place? Nope. Thank you. Yikes. Oh, we have a volunteer with four. Oh, what? Oh, he's too smooth for Jasper. Jasper rolled a four. So Jamison, Susan, you're out of this.

I need a roll off between Jasper and it's going to be one of you. All right. Another 20. I've already I've already done 20 ones tonight. So you're due then. Wow. All right. Jasper, just by a little just by 13 isn't bad. It's fun. Yeah. An arrow is going to come flying at you. And let's let's see. It's only got a plus two. It's not this thing. This person isn't skilled. 12 AC 16. Oh, yeah, you're fine then. So this is very crude looking arrow and it is going to strike about a foot and a half away from you. You know what was meant for you, but at the same time, just like what?

Like you were a still target. They probably should have hit you. And if if you turn to see where the arrow came from, you're going to see several kobolds coming for you guys. Oh, fuck me. How far away are they? So they're kind of cresting over a hill. You have they're probably like, I don't know, like 30, 40 yards away. Like it's it's not crazy. But at the same time, you know. That whole wall missing from your fort is a real detriment. We got to get that up. Yeah, I'm going to. This is your first siege, guys. Oh, that's lovely. You said they're 40 yards away, about 40 yards away.

I'm going to immediately Eldritch blast one of them from where I'm standing because it's 120 feet that I distance. Wow. One. I would double check that, but that's math and I'd have to go like, yeah, no, no. Yeah. Give me an Eldritch. Yeah. Give me a blast. OK. Yeah, you don't shoot arrows. You don't shoot arrows at Ruby and not get a blast. Well, it was one arrow is just arrow. I like to think that, yeah, that as soon as it landed, she would have immediately with her wrist ballista pointing in the direction it came from, sort of crouching down a little bit.

And she would have made whatever signal it is for everybody to pay attention. And so it's like it's like clockwork to Eldritch blast. Oh, holy shit. Holy force damage. Yeah, that's going to kill one of them right off the bat. Right off the bat. Going to kill one of them. So get ready for combat, guys. We're going to. Yeah, they're going to start charging. Apparently they took umbrage to the fact that you killed some of them and they have tracked you down. And this is a slightly larger force. They should have taken the clue that they should fuck with us. We got a body hanging on the wall.

They're approaching for the bet. They don't see the body yet. I'd like to think if they get there, they're like, oh, shit, these guys are rough. I mean, immediately there's an arrow shot. There's one of them is dead. They're going to get closer. They're going to see this thing on the wall. There's got to be like a morale check of some sort at some point. I don't know how kubaltz go, but. There's no combat encounter. One second. I'm coming. I'm coming. Nope. I'm yelling at you. OK. That's fine. I want to ask why everybody's got updated art except me. Yeah, it's not.

I just noticed that. What are we doing here? Am I not supposed to read into that? You're the only one special enough to have adjacent art. Yeah, that's like. Yeah, sure. It's special. Why do I have fatigue? Yeah, take all that. Yeah, you're fine. You're fine. Well, because of the cold. You're fatigue zero. You have fatigue because of the fire and stuff. You didn't have sex, but the fire, you know. I do have strife. I don't think it'll come. It might not come into play for combat because it's just disadvantage, intelligence, wisdom and charisma. Yeah, it's all the brain stuff.

Running a little slow this round, but that's OK. Well, it's been a long night. That's the morning. Yeah, we just got up and there's kobolds. And they got a 20 and a. It's going to be the top kobold, the brood guard, then logran, then little kobold, ruby chimera, kobold, kobold, kobold. Nightheera. Yep. Mm hmm. Don't talk to Nightheera before they've had their coffee. Right? She's drinking it this entire time. That's everybody's first action is finish coffee. Yeah. So all at the same time, we're just like. All right. I just have a thought, though. Nightheera's coffee mug says world's greatest grandma.

Handmade by a grandkid. Obviously, yes. She doesn't remember which one. It's all lopsided and like it's like my first pottery. So it's just like smooshed. She can't set it down because it'll like tilt to the side. It's got a rounded bottom. It's not flat. OK, well, we're going to move in. Let's let's do it. Let's get in for a penny in for a pound and 15, 20, 20. It's going to use both its movement and yeah, just movements. That's it. So both actions, boom up in front, squaring off with Ruby here. That'll bring up logran. Ruby get him. We're going to do commanding presence to get Ruby to swing at this kobold.

As he sips his coffee. Yeah. So he's like he's like still getting like his shield up. He's like, just get him away from me. All right. I mean, she's going to take she's going to take a logran's action and do an armor strike. Which I have to remember how to click it, but I'm about to do it. Here we go. It's the icon just hit that little lego. No, no. Hey, oh, twenty two will definitely hit. That is for damage to our kobold friend here. Kobold's got a shield of its own and it's going to like, oh, you're going to rock it a bit. It is much larger than these other ones.

You get the impression that maybe they went and got a couple of big brothers and it's like, hey, man, they really kick the shit out of some junior cadets. You know, now they've got to get their pride back as she does this. She's going to kind of roll her eyes, not at logran, but just at the situation. And she's going to as she's punching, she's going to say, couldn't you have waited till after lunch? Anything else? I'm just going to move up five feet and like he's he's finally got like his like everything's strapped on. He's like, all right. And he's just ready.

That's the turn. Kobold, we're going to move up to here and let's do let's do a sling. We're going to fire against Nythera. Oh, shit. Not me. Seventeen. OK. OK. OK. Boom. Oh, five damage will bloody you. Yeah. Love brings up Ruby. Yeah. All right. So Ruby is going to go. She's just going to keep pummeling. She's going to try to do something with her with her her her fist, like she's like she's turning something on kind of and she's going to start trying to punch once again, this little Kobold or this bigger Kobold, I guess. Twelve will miss. Twelve will miss and then she's going to she's got a bonus unarmed strike.

She's going to try again. Oh, that's a crit and a max on your expertise die, so that's different. OK. Yeah. So she works and it didn't quite work and she was like, what? So she she shakes it and like try something and then bam, hits it again. Do you want to see if we roll in the table? I do. Sorry, I wasn't looking at the thing when that happens. By the way, whenever that happens, the first punch didn't quite work. And then the second one does. And she's going to sort of look over at Logran, like outside of like almost a meta conversation. And she's going to go, Capshaw's got him.

I got the Capshaw's tightened. Well, yeah, you're going to do that first. All right. All right. All right. Where where am I? Where where am I rolling? D6. D6. I apologize. Not out of it. I am out of it. All right. You're fine. I mean, you rolled a crit. You get to do whatever you want. So, yeah. OK. Give me a D20. We're rolling on that crit table, baby. Boom boom boom. Oh, I got another 20. I see you. OK. OK. So not only is this punch going to land right. You're going to kind of slip in over the shield. And you're. I have to. OK. OK. OK. OK. What? OK. What happened? What happened?

The sound, the 20 sound was going for like a minute. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no. That's odd. It was that important. Not only are you going to get over the shield and just clock this guy with your your your knucks here. I have to roll a constitution save or just be unconscious, just concussed, because, yeah, no, that's that's pretty good. So I got to do that against your maneuver, DC. So whatever that is on the left hand side of your character all the way to bottom. It is a 13 maneuver, DC. Oh, shit. OK, well, OK, I do save against that, but you do double damage, so.

Oh, it was 14. You did a 14. Jesus, God. OK. Cool. That's going to damn near bloody him. And there's it's not a very special couple. I'm just I'm not I don't want to be mean to it, but it doesn't get any cool thing after being bloodied. It seems special. Kimira. Yeah. Oh, unless you have anything else. No, she's going to stick. She's going to stick right there. She's going to she's not moving. OK, Kimira. Eldritch brat. Eldritch blast. Let's Eldritch brat. Eldritch brat. Eldritch brat summer is what is going on. Tiefling summer. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I'm going to I'm going to try and shoot in Eldritch blast at this cobalt that that did a little sling on on my theories.

OK, the one who just breached the walls. Yeah, exactly. Oh, not good. Not good, though. Nine's going to miss. This was a one for damage if it did. Yeah. He's too far away. Yeah, yeah, I think that's it. Damn. Yeah. OK, well, we got some cobalt. Not cobalt action. This one's going to do a sling at Ruby. Ruby's the biggest threat. Yes, she's. Yeah, 22 will hit. That'll be three damage to Ruby. We have an artillerist. This is a cobalt that specializes in ranged weaponry. So we're going to square up here. And God, I'm going to roll a D20 one through 10. It's going to throw a Molotov cocktail.

Eleven through 20. It's got a little blow dart gun. It's going to use so. 20. Oh, well, a blow dart. Oh, man, it really. Oh, that that could have been an attack. Damn. Oh, well, so blow dart gun. This one's going for Logran. Oof. Wow, really wasted that 20. Well, that's a two, six total. Does that hit? Logran catches it in his teeth. Chews it up. Like a Nerf dart just hits the fucking shields. Oh, oh. You should have went with the molotov, guys. I should have went with the molotov. My bad. It turns out the dart doesn't get through that. Nope. Last cobalt squeezing on up here to the walls.

Let's shoot at let's let's let's shoot a chimera. Oh, my God. Fuck, that one's a crit. I'm so sorry. Every other roll. Yeah, this this is. There's been a lot of crits, like in both ways. Yeah. Interesting. Well, I guess I'll just see if this is a we're just going to. Yeah, we're going to roll in that crit table. 14. OK, so let's see. Are you carrying any potions on you? I definitely am. Oh, yeah. OK, OK, OK, OK. I'm going to roll a d20. If it's a 20, a random potion on you is going to coat you and burst. OK, good. It's a it's a super long shot. Probably won't happen.

Could be a healing potion. Could be healing potion. Yeah, no, it's a three. You're fine. So that will do 10 damage, though. OK, I'm knocks right out. Yes, but I do have I do have when I get knocked out, I actually get back up again and. That's fucking hate you. I forget. We all appreciate that the the icon for incapacitated is just you and a little burrito. Oh, yeah. Oh, immortal blessing, that's what it is, when reduced to zero instead of one instead, I just go to one HP. Yeah, so, yeah, and that's because of the that's because of the love in. That's like he gets hit and he's like, oh, gets back up, rushes the snow off.

I'm fine. In a minute. Nytheera, you're up. Take out these sling fellas or take out the one up front. I think Ruby's got the one up front covered. So Nytheera, I think the reason why she got hit so bad before is she was protecting her mug and she like protect the mug. So her first like free action is going to be grimble and then she'll toss the mug to him. OK, I want oh boy. OK, hold on a second. It's very important that he catches it. Damn, OK, what? Yeah, like it'll it'll just be like, just like for whatever reason, he's got weird like things you do think it's like, I don't know how sure his hands are, just like he really wants to.

He's like, I got to impress you like you're like giver of candy, maybe someday. And that gains him a point in Nytheera's book. So he's off the kill list. It is secreted away. There's that. But then Nytheera is going to take out her shortbow and take a step back and aim at the kobold up front that hit her and try to hit him. You know how you do with a shortbow. Damn 18 will hit. Yeah, and that does seven damage. That'll kill that kobold. It is gone. Yeah, the little ones have no health like they are minions. So yeah, anything else? No, I think Nytheera is just like, oh, like assessing the like it was probably like the back of her shoulder.

So as she goes to shoot and then she'll like look at her shoulder and be like, oh, like rub at it. That is the end of round one. We're going to reroll everybody for round two. Oh, OK. I suck at initiative. What's up with the 20s in this game? So many. Yeah, I think the table has a little seizure when like multiples come up. Well, OK, well, we got the brood guard and that actually gets to take a turn now. I think it's going to go after Logran. And hmm. It's got a bill hook it's going to use. So Logran, a bow. Whoo. Oof. Damn. Twenty three total. Oh, yeah, that'll that'll hit actually.

OK. So we got damage and let's see if the target is a medium or smaller creature, it makes it DC 12 strength saving throw, falling prone on a failure. I think you might have done damage to yourself. I think I did. And shit. And I mean, I'll take it, but no, I like your honesty. I like the cut of your jib. Thank you. I was targeting me. I think I'm just used to getting hit. So what I have to do, a DC strength check, strength saving throw, baby, strength saving throw. This should not be a problem. We three do you. Twenty three is just, yep. Just yep. Just yep. Oh, God.

OK, so hmm. This is a problem because the lesson learned from the artillerist was. Malt molotov. It is going to move up. And I'm going to so a skilled, a skilled person would throw a molotov into the back of the crowd. I don't know how skilled they are, so I'm just going to roll a D 20. Oh, shit. OK, very not skilled. OK, so. OK, well, we are a firebomb. Five foot radius. So I think what we're going to do here is we're just going to make. And he's going to accidentally center it on the leader, but also if also Ruby and Logran are going to have to. But yeah, definitely the leader, too.

So oh, yeah. Right in. We've been like both of us. I got four hit points. I need a dexterity saving throw from you guys. And we're looking for a 12 or higher. Oh, three. Easy come easy go. Oh, man. OK, well, OK. Me on my side. There's the damage for that. 11 damage, so to be half if you succeeded, so. Half for Ruby, half for the Kobold and full for Logran. Logran's going to go down. Well, it's actually well, it's half for me, too, because I fire resistance, but I think it's still enough to knock me out because it's half of that would be five. And I think I had five left.

So, yeah, it would just be enough, though. But we all know that it didn't burn you nearly as much as it should have. Cool when I fell. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, you fell behind the shield anyway. Probably it's still in the snow. Chimaera! I'm going to see Logran go down and I am going to run over behind his shield and administer a healing potion. I think as my action, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what I'm going to do. Let's see. Five health. Five healing. Hey, you got it back. He goes, we're going to get that wall fixed. Oh, God. Hey, Logran, you're up. As he stands up, he goes, Ruby.

On it. Yeah. On arm strike, obviously. Holy hell, yeah. Yes. Yeah, that'll do it. Fucking wow. OK. Twenty two. So that'll be four more bludgeoning damage. Not looking. Oh, yeah, that's right. It's not Ruby's turn. I'm going to do a bonus. Never mind. I'm also going to roll a rallying surge for Ruby. This is going to allow her to regain one hit point plus my two levels. So two hit points, two hit points. That's cool. It's just my once per day ability. It's fine. Level one combat is cool. Well, it will hopefully get you out of level one soon. So bold. I don't know why I said it like that.

One, two, three, four, five. Let's get crazy. Let's get funky. This one's got a shiv and it's going to go for Ruby. Oh, shit. No. What was it? 18 doesn't hit. Oh, it does. I'm sorry. I saw the roll, but I didn't see the chat. Oh, OK. Modifiers. Yep. 18 hits. So we're going to take back those three hit points that you just got. All right. Two hit points and then a little extra off the top. Killball. The other one in the back. One, two, three, four, five, six. And I guess we're going to try and shiv Logran. This one's probably not going to be as successful, but we'll see.

Motherfucker, 17. He gets in there. Yeah, he hits. He gets in there. Back down again. Holy shit. Five damage. This little fuck. Oh my gosh. Ruby? Yeah. So Ruby's watching all this happen and she's not happy. So she's going to try to finish off whatever she can for this. This one she's been hammering at. Let's go. Oh, that'll definitely, definitely hit. And that's five bludgeoning damage. And then she's going to just go straight back on it. One more punch with the left hand. 13 will miss. All right. Nithyra? Man, that's two dead lasts in a row. Come on. You got this though.

Yeah, I got this. Okay. So first I'm going to take out the threats before helping Logran, I guess. Okay. Step forward. Dagger in hand. Attack this Kobold. 13? 13 will hit that Kobold. It's not the big one with the shield. So yeah. Six damage. That kills it. It's dead. Awesome. Okay. And then Nithyra is going to step over Logran's body, go behind Ruby and go next to this one and then attack this one with her offhand dagger. You just got to hit it. It doesn't even have to be big damage. These are tiny guys. Oh yeah. Oh, 23 will hit. That is a dead Kobold. There are two Kobolds remaining, but it's the two big ones.

Yes. Okay. So that's what Nithyra does. And then looks over to Logran and then looks over to Chimera. I could get him next time or you can. I got this. How I am running out of healing potions. We're going to have to knock over another shop. On the list, on the list. That'll end round two. Round three, we're re-rolling. There's only two Kobolds left and that Broobguard for the third round in a row. Oh my gosh. Guys at home, you can't hear. I can't. I'm dead. I'm muting that tab. I don't know which one to mute, but I'm muting everything. Yeah. Maybe just turn it down a little.

Like it is the X-Files theme followed by poof. Yeah. Oh shit. Okay. Well sorry. Broodguard is going to use that Billhook again. But this time on Nythera. Oh no. Glass cannon. Shit. You're kidding. That is a crit. I only had four health. Well that's not great. Well it's going to do. I, I, I, I'm, huh. We got to see if it rolls on the crit table. It doesn't. It will be enough to knock you down, but not kill you. You know, like that's pretty cool. The Miku stuff. This fight isn't going very well. Chimaera, you are up. Another one down the, another one down the hatch for Logran.

I'm like slapping your, I'm like slapping your face. Come on, come on. You got to get up. Come on, come on, come on. This thing seems terrible. I imagine Nyquil. Like I don't know why, but I always imagine health potions. Yeah. Right? I'm going to try to make it a cannon thing that every time Logran gets woken up from unconscious, he complains about something. Oh, there we go. Nine. Nine. Health. Blam. You are no longer a burrito. In my heart I am. I'm going to, you're still, I'm going to, I'm going to also, I'm going to pour this down the throat and then as a bonus action, I'm going to curse this, this cobalt that's root guard.

Yeah. I'm going to put this one in front of Ruby here and just like say some, say some fiendish words. And there's some like swirling darkness come around him. Sort of looks like hands a little bit. Ooh. Ooh. If you, there we go. Got it. There you go. Boom. Got it baby. There we go. Thank you. Thank you. And that should put a bottle called curse on him. Yep. There's a little thing there. Okay, cool. And then, yeah, he's like sort of like kneeling down, helping down, just like curse him. Exactly. Yeah. Ruby, you're, you're still conscious. I'm still conscious, but one, one hit point, I think honestly, figuring that if she, she could try to help Nythera, she could try to help somebody else.

If she doesn't help herself, then things curse too. Yeah. So she's got, so first thing she's going to do is a healing potion for herself. She's just going to pop one and down it really quick. And you would know Nythera would want you to do that. Well, it's just logical. It's not like, let me help my friend. It's let me help my friend by trying to get rid of these kobolds and then I'll take care of you. You know what I got to do is figure out, there we go and roll. All right. So I got a few back. Yup. Did I do it? Did you? Well, I thought I did. I think you were targeting the kobold.

Oh nice. I got you. I wasn't thinking. I got you. All right. Well, I should have six back on me. Where's he going? Yeah. I don't know. What's happening? What are you doing? He's just walking. He's on. Where is he going? What you doing, buddies? You're back here, we were talking. Just off. I guess he's done. Sir, excuse me, sir. I thought you were in the middle of something. I'm sorry. We're interrupting you. What are you doing? Get out of here. No, it's just decided. It's doing it. Whatever. I'm sorry. Where are you going? I'm typing in numbers and it's deciding. It's like, nah, no, no, no.

This is what we'll do. Oh shit. No. Apparently if you hit the apply healing button, it applies the healing to your character. I'm going to get you to pass it to myself again. Don't worry. So Jasper, if you hit that heart in the bottom right, you could do it to yourself? Yeah, just do it to yourself. The heart in the bottom right. In the chat. In the chat. Thank you. Hey, we did it. Fantastic. Okay. Wonderful. That's her action with the healing potion. Sorry that derailed things. That's her action for the healing potion. She's going to take her bonus action and do an unarmed strike on this brood guard.

Now I'm going to target. Am I targeting? I am targeting that brood guard. And we're done. Well fuck, that's another crit. Let's go. I was counting on this. I was counting on this actually. Just counting on a crit. Just like, oh for fuck's sake. She's going to smash it. Yes. Oh, that'll kill this kobold. Can I get, let's see if you roll on the crit table. Yeah, you do. Oh, we're rolling on that crit table, baby. Give me a D20. 19. Gorgeous. Oh, I see what happened. Sorry. There was a glitch on the table. I see what happened. So not only, not only are you going to kill this kobold, I'm going to allow you full movement and one more full action.

Fantastic. That's exactly what I wanted to do. So she's going to, she's going to be like, oh for fuck's sake, she's going to smash with her, with her, with her hand. This thing's going to drop dead and she's going to leap over it straight to the next kobold. And then bam, an arm strike. So this was the one with the molotov. So now it's trying to like, like get another one together. It is not a beefy guy. It's like, oh shit, there were more of us. I'm in to go. Like it's trying to like. I can't seem to move myself. I'm not sure what it is. Oh, you did it. Thank you very much.

I got you. And an arm strike basically just, no, she's going to try to, whatever he's trying to light, she's going to try to smash it out of the way while smashing his face, basically. Sure. The face is what matters. Ah, oh well. 13 hits. It's again, not a beefy boy. Oh, there you go. So the problem is it's got something called flammable. Oh, that's all right. Nope. You're fine. That's just, if it takes fire damage, that would be silly. Does it explode? Cause it's shoving a rag in a molotov. That's clever. I kind of liked that actually. Logran you're conscious.

Your turn. Oh wait, hang on one sec. Because that thing died. It was cursed. Do you get hit points back? I do. And it should. There we go. So yeah, those dark hands that sort of came around the curse, like swing back under the ground and like rise up to Chimaera's throat and just sort of like wipe a finger across his mouth while like wiping some of the blood off. He does a little shiver. Jason, I love how you enjoy it. I mean, shouldn't I? I hope everyone's enjoying it. That's what I hope. I guarantee you not everyone's enjoying it, but that's okay. I'm looking at Susan right now and Susan doesn't seem to be enjoying it.

I'm not going to yuck anybody else's yum, but not for me. Fair. Logran. Logran's gonna, he's on the ground. He's going to do army roll over to the side here. He's going to give it to to Nithyra. Oh max healing baby! Thank you! Get up! This kobold's fucked. That's all my hit points. Oh no. Nithyra's gonna wake up. The mug's okay, right? Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah, honestly, Gribble, while not helpful, isn't a hindrance. It's just probably like probably holding the mug sitting atop a sheeb. Just yeah. If you ask that question to Logran, he's like got the potion bottle in his hand.

He just like... Doesn't say anything. He's like, can you get up please? Oh shit. Nithyra, you're up! And then proceeds to stand up and run over to the remaining kobold. Oh no. And with dagger in hand, after looking over to Gribble, making sure the mug's okay, stabs. Can I, can I, can I interject? Oh nevermind. You're fine. You're fine. Nevermind. You're fine. It's fine. Whatever. Just another crit. We're just playing Home Run Derby. We hacked the table for crits. Forgot to tell you. Oh Jesus God, that's 12 damage. It's gonna take most of it. Do you want to roll? Do you want to see if you're rolling on that crit table?

Give me a d6. Yeah, yeah. And also I forgot to sneak attack as well. But yeah. Oh shit. Yeah. You got sneak attack? That's not good. Give me a d20 too. So this thing's so dead, right? We're all agreed. Oh yeah. We're actually in pretty good shape. Yeah, no, you're good now. Like you, somehow you, you ended the fight with more health than you started. It was tight. 15. Also sneak attack damage. You're going to cut one of its hands off and then do another. Oh my God. That will kill it. That'll kill it. That will kill. So you're going to like just like cut one of its hands off.

Probably the one trying to like stuff a rag into a bottle. Just like stop that shit. Just yeah. Jesus God, that is going to take you out of combat. That was tight. Yeah, that was. Holy shit. We were all almost dead. This, can I have my bacon now? This was your first Fort Siege. Now Fort Siege has come in difficulties of one to 10. A 10 is a full on like, like Lord of the Rings. Like you are being like, it's like, oh shit. Like this is the last stand type shit. This was a one. Walls help and you know, actual defenses and things. But listeners can help you out by helping to build defenses just by listening, just by interacting on the discord.

And who knows by the time this goes out, you guys, yeah, you might have walls and stuff coming to you. I don't know. That'd be nice. We could use it. Please. Yeah. That was too tight. Let's tally up some XP. How about that? Heck yes. Oh, with Grimble's 20 for his dex, there's still coffee in the mug. So Nythera's gonna walk over and drink her coffee. I hope everyone in camp grows to love Grimble except Logran. I really, I want it to be the dad who didn't want a dog and definitely didn't want that dog. Like just the whole party ends up turning on Logran. Right.

Yeah. Makes me into the bad guy. He's an integral part of the plan now, Logran. How do you not see that? He's a freeloader. Get him out of here. He will lead the dwarves to a new. Cut, yeah, cut to leader of the Bruegald. We meet the new leader of the Bruegald. He's on the sheaves and he's writing. Just like arms crossed. Seven hundred and twenty five XP. That Bruegald was worth 450. The little ones are only 25. So divided four ways. That is one hundred and eighty one XP. Not quite enough to level up. One eighty one, however, three to forty four. We hear we hear at Dungeons of Randomness, don't just award XP for combat.

And since you pulled off something miraculous by actually talking to the Bruegald and working something out, I'm going to give you a bonus one hundred XP each for that. So two hundred and eighty one additional XP to whatever you have right now. I believe it was sixty something, which means. You guys are leveling up now. We're at three forty. This is how we're kicking off the very next session. We're going to roll for hit points because that's what we do here. And you're going to tell me what you picked and why. And every listener is going to be able to grow with these characters and understand not only what you picked and what you're doing in game, but what you're doing out of game to reflect that.

Cool. Love it. And guys, I think that is a good time for us to stop for the evening. Nice. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You.