Not Angry, Just Disappointed

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

Hey, y'all. Jasper here. Before we dive in, a quick thanks to Ian publishing, creators of Level Up Advanced 5E, the fifth edition compatible system we use to run Frostborn. If you're looking to level up your own campaign with diversity, depth, and choice, check out LevelUp5E.com and use code D&R for a discount. Shout out also to GM assistant, less note-taking, more world building. It's as simple as uploading audio from your role-playing game and getting all the dwarven grumpiness and elven murder-blendering recaps at your fingertips. Visit gmassistant.app to try it out and again use D-A-N-D-R for a special discount.

As always, if you want early episodes, behind-the-seat shenanigans, and honestly, more ways to support what we do at DNR, head over to patreon.com slash dandr for as little as one dollar. Side note, DragonCon is coming up in Atlanta over the Labor Day holiday and we'll be there as usual. So there's never been a better time to throw us a few copper pieces for the journey there. Patreon.com slash DA and DR. All ready, last time on Frostborn, our crew survived our run-in with the wear rat queen, grabbed all the body parts we needed, and clawed our way back to the surface, and the smell was terrible.

This time, we have a caravan to meet up with, but there's a storm overhead, a shaky antidote in the works and one thing's crystal clear. Logrin's not angry. He's just disappointed. All yours, Jason Massey. Let's do that thing where we go around the table and introduce our self, stop. Jason, not the dungeon master, going around the table. Starting with Jasper. Hey, everybody, I'm Jasper. I'm Jasper. I play. a Ruby Pedagrew the Half Ork Gearslinger Adept. And Ian. Hey, him, Eni, and I play Chimera, the Teafling Warlock. And Jameson. Oh, hey, I'm Jameson. I play Logger and Crackboard, the Dwarven Marshall.

And last and certainly not least, Susan. Hi, my name is Susan Spanater. My pronouns are she her, and I will be playing Nightheera, Ryleth, the Elven Rogue. So, let's discuss old business before we move on, right? We accomplished a big thing, and at the end of it, I was a little torn, and I hit you guys up about it. I feel like I wasn't true to Therian lore and mechanics. I feel like Chet either should have died or something horrible should have happened, and I I genuinely thought about redoing the fight, but I don't like to redo fights because you'd never know how dice are going to be rolled and you guys did the thing.

I don't want to take that away from you. And I'm very conscious of when an NPC gets special treatment. You've got to look out for that. I don't want to be accused of, you know, sparing an NPC that should have died. So I went back to the... I don't want to interrupt you, but... Something horrible did happen. A child was mortally... injured. It already did happen. If you're looking for something bad, we got loads of that. It happened. A couple of times. Yes, yes. I, yes, I, yes, you're right, yes. But there was a tangible thing. You know, it gets bitten, contracts disease, there's a thing, you know what I mean?

Getting knocked down in combat, there isn't necessarily a mechanic that could injure anybody, you know what I mean? And the way the mechanics of the game work, it's very easy to die. at first, second, third level. So I went about and wrote way too much about injuries and mechanics. And when the following things happen, you get an injury token. And this is any crit landing on you and you taking critical damage. So if something crits you and you break your shield to negate it or you, you know, if you take the damage, then it's considered. you get an injury token.

If you take more than half your hit points in damage, or half your hit points and more in damage, you get an injury token. If, you know, whatever. If you're reduced to zero hit points, you get an injury token. So at the end of combat, however many you've accumulated, that you can only go up to five, you roll on a table for it. Now, one injury token is like, oh, man, I kind of rolled my ankle a little bit, and it might shave five, you know, feet off your movement speed for less than a day. You know what I mean? Just little things that you're just going to have happen, you know?

All the way up to five, that's when you got to worry about lost limbs and disfigurements and that kind of stuff. And there's mechanics for healing these things. They're not going to be trivial. They're not going to be. But they're not, they won't impair your character to the point you can't play them anymore either. It's meant to be a role play thing, not just a penalty thing. If that makes sense. It makes sense. There's also the adrenaline system. which is to kind of negate that. So during combat, any time a crit is landed against you, and you take critical damage, anytime you land a crit against someone else, any time, you know, there's going to be things that get you an adrenaline point.

And you can use those adrenaline points to do things like add an extra die of damage to your weapon attack. Or you can re-roll death saving throws or do them with advantage or something like that. There's a whole thing listed out, but hopefully, you've got to. don't get into combat today. Can fight these kids. You might fight these kids. So what we're going to do is one, disable chat, and then two, I'm going. It is two. I think we could all agree. Something should happen to chat. And by my, by my calculations, he would have earned three of these injury tokens.

So that means he's going to roll on the third injury table. So we're going to do that. But first, I'm assuming directly after this rat fight, you're stopping to get blood from this thing. You're probably wearing double gloves. You know, this thing is just a festering pile of disease. So you're being very careful and then just getting out of here as soon as possible. Probably, you know, probably carrying chat. Like someone's got to support him getting. out of there, but you guys are just leaving. The rats are dealt with. You don't have to worry about that.

But just a case any more come back, let's just get out of here, right? Would we just to the group? Would we want to like, just glance around, see if they like squirled anything away? Like, this is a rat's nest. Did they bring anything here? Oh, that's a good idea. Fair enough. Yeah. Take a quick look. Logger wants more teeth. We need more teeth. We need more teeth. So take as many as much teeth as we can get. Get all the teeth you can. Well, she's got multiple rows of teeth. So like awful. Terrible. Yeah. Fill a whole little sandwich bag of teeth. Oh, this was growing through her lip.

Yeah, they're not like straight veneers. Like, they're not. Oh, my God. The veneers are incredible. Oh, man. Remember how you were taking the mouth of chat and it was like a workout to get them out. Nithier just expertly pops them out, like a pill bottle case, just like popping them out of them out of them. Well, we could probably pull a couple of them out of chat, honestly. I think that would be really funny if there is this rat that was just like disease ridden and horrible and like festering. And then you pull up its gums and it's just a beautiful teeth.

Like straight and white and like just gorgeous and like, wow, damn. I don't say what you will. Oh, shit. Yeah, I think we. We'd glance around to see if there's any other something around in here other than disgust. Yeah, something shiny. So here's what we're going to do. I was waiting to see if you'd like to explore, you know, this den, right? You entered this den, got into a fight. There is there's stuff in here, good stuff, right? So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you a little risk-reward table. I just love my tables. So. Mm-hmm. You pick a die value, D4 all the way up to a D100.

That's how much time you're going to spend in here. The maximum amount of time is like 30 minutes, combing this place over looking for stuff. Obviously, the more time you spend, the greater the chance you're going to find something real hot in here, or maybe multiple things. Obviously, the longer you spend in here, the greater the chance that's, you know, something bad happens or something comes back, or there's a couple of rats you get a back clean-up with. Do we need to figure this out collectively, sort of as a group, like, hey, glancing around for a few minutes, you know, like.

Yeah, like someone wants to pull rank. Like, you know. I want to say it's got to be a D12, but that's just for the bit, mostly. Yeah. Oh, do I get to roll more D12s? I mean. I mean, honestly, like, Logrin, it does not, we have injured. We got conversations we got to have. We got places we got to be. So. I'm thinking probably like a D-6, honestly. Just like quick glance around and we got to get out here. Sure. Think about in character, like dragging Chet's body with us. And be like, well, hang on. There might be a couple gold coins over here. I imagine it's practical.

He can stagger, right? So like you've got him healed up enough so that he can like walk. But he's probably leaning on Baz or something. Yeah, but like in character, it's like, yeah, we'll get just milk in a second. Buddy. We just got to look for treasure. Like that doesn't. Totally. Yes. And yet, but it's exactly what we're going to do. Ruby would. Ruby would. It is what we will do. Ruby would definitely be trying. Just scavenging. Like, just as a. Yeah. Like, likewise. Likewise. Likewise. James. Jason. What did you do? What did you do? What did you do? For those listening.

Well. Yeah. Please. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anyone. I figured, hey, I'll roll this D20 for the injury while we're sitting here. Now, the problem with the old, the old crit tables, is why I want to work on new ones, is, I feel like random isn't always best. I think a low roll should reflect a low roll. I just rolled a one on the third table. So, erratic pain, roll a D6. at the start of a turn on one lose the action to pain. So this is something that's going to persist until it's healed. A three, you're talking about a lesser restoration or a couple of successful medicine checks.

So this is something that's going to stick with him. So he's probably got like a hole somewhere that's been patched up, but it is, it's a hole like it's going to hurt, right? So he was knocked out twice. He was like two hit points away from outright, dying. So this makes sense. Uh, he's not going to be lifting that big ass heavy sword without some pain for a little while. And that's probably why he's leaning on, on someone and like kind of getting moved out of here. So they're probably waiting for you guys to like give him the call. It's like, okay, we'll wait before we move, but like, you know, yeah, I think we would probably would have would have tried to be that shoulder But would probably have gotten him up to one of these, you know, stalagmites or something, just some sort of pillar and just kind of prop him up, you know, sit him down, prop him up a little bit and say, we'll be right back, just hold your horses, we're going to take care of you.

And then she's going to probably make some sort of symbol like, you know, like, look around everybody. Or like before we're out of here. But what do we get a roll? It does make sense. His legs not broken or anything like that. So like he can chill here. It's just, it's mostly like, hey, catch your breath. Yeah. We're going to deal with it. We're going to go make camp after. this and we're going to lay you up for a bit. So you said a D-10, Jameson. So I said a D-6, but I mean, I feel like the dynamic with this party is that if Logren says D-6, then somebody else might go, okay, but I'm going to take just a second longer.

Ruby is a D-12. Ruby is baseline D12. Now. Baseline. That doesn't mean that she's going to do that. I'm saying that you'd have to rein her in a little bit because she'll hyperfocus and and poke through everything she can find. So somebody's going to have to call her out. It makes you feel any better. The kids are being pretty quiet right now because this was a Oh, I imagine it's like sit down. Yeah. And he's sort of like deputizes night there to be like, you stay with those two. I'm staying with these guys. And he's like, he looks around the immediate area where the kids are basically sitting.

But then he just stays there with that. them. I can't trust you. Okay. So Nythero will look to Ruby and see that she's like, oh, has those eyes look like glittering almost. Like, oh, what's in here? And Nytheria is going to say to her, we got to keep it quick. The kids hurt. All right, fine. Just a quick glance. Well, I'll help you. There'll be two of us. Four eyes. So I'm thinking D10. You're impossible. This is why we don't. How would Kymira feel about this? Would he be like, yeah, let's get out of here. Would he be a little bit more? He'd want to take a look. Yeah, he'd want to take a look.

And like when he's look at all the kids, like, Logrin's like you all sit here in Nithere, and then like from behind like, Kimer just like winks it. Just winks of them. constantly undermined. I think we're D10. What do you think? Yeah. 10 minutes. That's a short rest. We're catching our breath. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So here's what we're going to do. Give me three D10s. Oh. Okay. The higher the number, the better. The lower the number, the more mundane. The item is. Who else? Who else? I think maybe the three of us who wanted it. None for you, Jameson. I'm rolling a D4 out of spite.

He looks around the immediate area. Yeah. Did I drop anything? What? That is a good. He's on shoes. Oh. There's not fair. We got a girl. Oh. Oh. Let's go. Okay. Okay. I got you. Listen, hyperfocus, superpower. That's what my psychologist said, too. Exactly. And I was like, you're kidding me. Well, Holy hell. This is good stuff, guys. Get ready. Here we go. You're going to find a bladed boomerang plus two. Ooh. A composite bow plus two. And an assassin's gauntlet plus two. Hey, hey. Hey. I don't want to like lay claim on any loose, but. I feel like. There's some obvious stuff.

I was just thinking that there was a little underpowered and could probably use it. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. We really got a level up per their damage game. It's just too low. I feel like a couple of bad roles in the last combat. It's like, well, we got to overcorrect now. We have to. Just cover her in angles now. Just sharp angles. baseline damage 50 points. That's okay, guys. What do these guntlets look like? Ooh, good question. Assassin's gauntlets. At a glance, the item seems to be perfectly typical. But it can seals a spring-loaded blade deployed by pressing a switch when it's used to make an attack.

It's an Assassin's Creed. It's an Assassin's Creed. Yeah. Assassin's Creed, Assassin's Blade. Cool. Okay. Well, I think we know. Yeah. Pretty sure. This is manifest. In the meantime, Logren will immediately hand over the bow to one of the kids. And if he wants to hand over the boomerang, too, but a bladed boomerang seems like the worst idea. Yeah, too, a kid. That seems like a party ender. I don't know. Would you throw a bladed boomerang? Me? Yes. In a second, but that's because it sounds awesome. And then it doesn't wait at that too. Look, anyone who's met me in real life, I am not a Dex-based character.

So. Yeah, it does. It does sound so cool. Right. Yeah. I want to be able to say I did it once. You know. I'd be like... And then duck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Throw it and be like, oh, fuck. So, okay, most of the time, all this is like hypothetical. I have thrown bladed. I went ax throwing. And Susan did phenomenally well. And I didn't get an axe to stick into a flat surface once. Oh, it got so sad. Okay. Okay. Okay. No. I think it's not throwing. harder and harder didn't do it in my head in my head it hit every time but in physical reality okay but i've had more change since then and it's the distance you were you're so much taller than me that i was like perfectly placed like it was perfect for my height and distance uh-huh yours would have if you were a little bit longer it would have been perfect sure it would have that's a pretty big coat for someone who just said how sad it was it was you get one or the other you get to make me feel All I heard was that if it was a little bit longer, you would have done better.

That's the story of my fucking life. I'm sorry, Jason. So we've got it. So we've got it. So you're talking about that. You're sorry about that. Like that's clear. Before we're short. Sound clips. I don't know about anything. And turns out to a song. Oh no. All right, so we got some cool stuff here. Assessons got a... So the bow's going one to the kids? Who tried to use a bow before? Well, no, he does not give it to the kids right away because we need to talk before he gives it to anybody. That's fair. That is... He's going to hold on to him. I'm down holding this. Yeah.

All right. So the only thing I need now is, I need. I think it's, I think it's fair if Loughran does me a favor and rolls a D20. As long as you don't roll a one through five, everything's cool. Mm-mm-mm-mm. What is this for? This is the risk part. This is the negative consequences. Who? Eight. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. Oh, God. So, you guys manage to avoid the second rat queen. That's great. I guess it's a good. Yes. Well, by rights now, the rat queen. Yes. So we're getting outside. We're not doing this Disney thing. She's a queen. That queen region. You guys are going to head back down this long, stinky corridor, get outside, the bracing cold wind, chases some of that stink off of your furs and clothing, and you're going to get as far away from here as possible.

Make sure you're not downwind. of it, and then you're going to set up a camp even though it's pretty early in the day to break for camp, obviously. But it's already been a long one. So we're going to give everybody a long rest, but before that, I know for a fact that that there's probably a stern talking to coming. These kids are still learning. Well, what does Logrin do here? While they're getting back. I imagine. Go ahead. No, it's just funny. It's like, it's going to be Logrin. I imagine that the walk out of the cave and from here to wherever we decide to set up camp.

That's an hour walk or something probably. It's very tense. I've been in the car when dad is mad and isn't talking. And he's just driving. And he's driving no differently, but you can just tell. Oh, yeah. We all know. If you grow up in a household, especially where like the quiet is the silence before the storm, you get that thing dear get when they're drinking from a stream. They're like, you can sense it. It comes. It's like, oh, shit. Like, you can feel it. Yeah, it changes a little bit, right? Like, it was either going to be right when we, like, right when the fight stopped or.

So anyway, so he's not, he's not going to talk about it until we get to the camp. And anything he says is basically pretty curt, right? Like, like, all right, go check it out and then come back and then whatever. Yeah. So once the camp is made, right? He just sort of goes to where all four of them are. And he just kind of looks at them until he has their attention. And I want to say he's got his hands on his hips, but I think he's actually got his arms folded in front of him. That's more dead-like. Yeah. Okay. So, I would guess that... That's probably doesn't act like there's anything. anything wrong.

Because he, you know, he's, it's like, we did it. We did the thing. And like he, he kind of has trouble picking up on social graces, you know, like the, he's not a big a motor, you know. And Or is probably helping chat with the wound. So like, it's, it's like, okay, like they have very like, like, like, it's like, well, it's bleeding. Let's try to stop that pressure. And it's like, who's trained in medicine? Like someone, you know, Uh, Chet is very, very, very aware of Logrin. And he knows he done fucked up. And he, it's gonna take him a while to look up from the ground, probably.

Uh, he's embarrassed to need patching up. He's embarrassed that he didn't do a repeat of just like, I'm just gonna bury my sword in this thing's skull, and that's it. And he's... And he's... Yeah, just I think embarrassed pretty much. sums it up, but he will look up at you eventually, but just kind of like through his, he's like looking up like that. It's very placating. It's very like, I know you're going to yell at me. Just get it over with that type of thing. Yeah, so he's kind of like chewing on his like cheek a little bit. So what I should do. Let's go right back to Aubrey and bring you guys back there. there is no way.

We are going to make it the rest of the way to Esther Holt. We're going to behave the way that we just did in there. That was the most dangerous thing I've ever done. And I'm 101 years old. So when I tell you, to stay back and to get behind me. And you run up like you know better. There's a lot of problems. We're not out here to have a party. We're not out here to have some great adventure. You're not out here to learn how to be the kind of thieves that you were trying to be in Aubrey. You're here because you couldn't, and we were getting you out of danger.

You could always learn. But you cannot learn if you won't be taught. One of you died today, that'd be taught. on me. I borrow you out here. And I maybe shouldn't have. So if you want to go back, we go back. But if you want to stay out here, I need your trust. And I need to be able to trust you. And he points back to where, you know, you three are. I trust them. They trust me. It's the only reason this works. You three, maybe, you four, maybe trust each other, and that's good. But you four don't know what you're doing yet. I'm happy to teach you, but you got to listen.

None of this is going to go perfect. But there's a reason I ask you to do the things I ask you to do. Everyone as would look just real hound dog, you know what I mean? Just like, oh man, like it's worse that you're not yelling. It's so much worse. Just keep me in the face, please. Like it's so just like that would be faster and less painful, I think. I assure you, Chet was ready to be yelled at. He was not ready to disappoint, I guess. Like, that's, you know what I mean? Not mad, I'm disappointed. It's the oldest card in the book. The oldest card in the book, by the way.

I called it. I called an Assassin's Blade. You know? You know? Like, it's shit. So, oh, God. Oh, oh. You know, Assassin's Creed's a 20-year-old franchise? I just realized that. Oh, man. Sorry. I'm sorry. I've been into that recently. I just just like, hey, you guys remember the passage of time? All right. You know, we're old. Yeah. Yeah. I have fun. Whenever an anniversary comes up, like, hey, do you know, Detective Pikachu is 10 years old now? And then just like, let everybody. I'm sorry. Anyway. Chad's going to stand up. And he's still getting patched up and everything.

It's a, you know, it didn't hit anything vital. No, no arteries, no, no organs, no, nothing like that. But it's a fairly deep hole, right? And he's going to take a step forward just like very quietly. I'm sorry. I... I... You can kind of see his hand trembling a little bit while he's, you know, I don't, I don't like feeling useless. And I guess ever since the rat fight, it can't, it just kind of felt like things were out of our control. And I didn't listen. And I'm sorry. very direct, but not yelling it. You know what I mean? Just, you know. Yeah, share a secret with you.

Things are out of your control. They're out of my control. It's crazy out here. Look at this. And he's just like tundra. Yeah. Do you know what I think did it? You saying that it's like, that was the most dangerous thing I've ever done. They're like, oh, fuck. Because I think they just figure. It's like, yeah. Like, if you hang out in a city, for 10 minutes and you listen to anybody on the road and even even merchants let alone adventures. They all have stories of the great big thing they did. You know what I mean? So it's taken for granted that it's like yeah it's Tuesday.

I slate the dragon like it's that kind of thing. If you're alive to tell the story, everyone exaggerates. Everyone, you know, whether it be about sex or violence or whatever in a ward like this, everyone exaggerates a little bit. So I think that's more a sobering moment. It's like, wait, So you didn't have a blueprint going into that. You didn't have an equal thing to point to and go, oh, I've done this before. So, oh, shit. Guys, I'm level three. All right. This rate. I want to live to see level four. Check, come over here. Oh, 20 experience. Here we go. Level four.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just be like, listen, none of us. this is easy. It works because we work together. If we can't work together, then it doesn't work. So get patched up, rest. We're not doing anything else today. We'll try again tomorrow. And he'll reach on and put a hand on a shoulder on the opposite side from his injury. Thank you. Yes. I thought you were just going to do that and then put a thumb. Just like, yeah. Just like, yeah. Then I snap his collarbone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let that be a little to you. Like it's a good. Hey. We know. Yeah, okay, good. It's common dad stuff.

Like, we get it. Yeah, you know, somebody just got a snap of collarbone. Yeah, it's what dad's do. We all know. You know what I actually broke my collarbone when I was three. Like, she kicked me down the stairs. Look, it's in the past, but it's like, that's smart and shit. Like, that's, I should be way tougher. Then I'm sorry. Let's unpack that later. Yeah. We'll just push that down until it's cancer. Oh, I got that. All I got out of that was trauma. I mean, it was straight. Right. Lopsided shoulders, at all. Yeah, no, I'm never going to have great lats. Like, it's fine.

Like, it's... So, okay. Everyone get a long rest right now. Got you, got you. Did we technically take care of the antidote for ORA? Yes. Now, we have the, they stop for the antidote. I'm going to, yeah, yeah, I'm going to go over that next. We also, anyone trained in medicine, I'm going to, I'm going to need two roles. I don't think that's any of us. I don't think you're in. Of the eight of us, I think there's zero people trained in medicine. Oh, wait. Hold on. Wasn't there a... You meant sleight of hand, right? Can I have? Of course. I'm good at medicine. Yes. I've always been good at medicine.

You're manifesting it. He says it's good. Give him the suture. Yeah. Whatever those are. This looks. Medical. Coagulated. Yeah. Yeah. I know. poison when I see one. Don't take that. I'm pouring not poison on this wound. That's all I know. Listerine, maybe. I... Well, okay. Let's do this then. I need to volunteer. Who's got the highest medicine check? Because... I won. Three. Oh, you're actually... It is kind of. It cannot be me. It cannot be me. I do. All right. You know what I would say? Do you ever have, okay, Elle used to work at a veterinarian, like a veterinary clinic. And as a result, she found out a lot about drugs.

Like she had to minimize a hundred drug names and everything. Yeah. So it sounds like she's a crippling addict. Yeah. But she'll off the top of her head, no, oh, this medicate. It's like, yeah. But it doesn't sound. like it's coming from a pharmacist. It sounds like it's coming from someone in an alley. Yeah, that's right. Like, you know what I mean? This is from Chimer's years of rummaging through various medicine cabinets. Sure. Oh, you're going to need some diazepan. It's like, what do you? What? Like, you know, I know you didn't go to medical school, medical school, medical cool.

Medical cool. That's what we're going. That's what that would be. Timer is medical cool. Yeah. Well, give me a medicine check and we're looking for a 15 or higher to cure this condition. You're allowed to do it once a day. Okay. And if no one's trained, can't assist. Got it, got it, got it. So we look on. I'm just like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, wow, that was almost a one. Yeah, amazing. We'll take a 23. So, okay, from Chimera's perspective, you're walking up. There's a hole. hole in this lad. Now it has been healed, so it's not bleeding anymore, but it's still not fixed.

The way healing magic works, you can't regenerate tissue. You're not a lizard. So there's always going to be a scar, but like, what do you do to ease some of this pain until he can kind of get used to this and, you know what I mean? Like, to get back to full. Because we don't have to deal with the consequences of that now. It'll be painful, but not enough to like paralyze him. Yeah, yeah. So I think, I think practically, there's a lot of injuries that happen in the circus, whether it's the circus folk doing it to themselves or like people outside getting angry and just...

Just the flying graces. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, God, yeah. So practically, I think this is where Kimira has like picked up some of the skill. It's like he's helped to patch up. Yeah. But what he says, yeah. to everyone is something like he like tell tell some story you know about like how he had to train for medicine for for several years you know well while traveling through and picked up you know and was actually a licensed physician for a while right yeah so so even to chat you know he he's like you know i've got my license i haven't renewed it but you know you can trust me everything's good first off here's this he picks up like some alcohol and gives it to him.

He's like, drink up. And then he. Not an old enough to fight. Old enough to drink. That's right. Yeah. That's right. That's right. I was younger than you when I started. So drink up. You're gonna need it. And then he probably pulls out some like some stuff that he just has on him and like fights and choose it like like a root or something like that. And he starts. Like stuffing it around the wound. And then like bandaging it up really, really tight. Kind of get it into a paste type of thing. Exactly. Yeah. So we're talking like Native American medicine. Like you're really getting in there with like.

Yeah, it's something like that. It's it's some yeah, it's some very like home remedy circus stuff is what it is like that's what he's doing. I would also imagine that you're the type of guy who has a mortar and pestle, but like you have to to clean the amphetamines off of it. If you can use it for actual medicine. Yeah. And then, oh, and then what he does too is he's like, okay, this is going to sting a little bit. So I want you to count down with me from three. All right. Can you do that? Are you ready? Yeah. Three, two, and then I just do it. I do it before I finish.

And I yeah, and I touch, I touch very gently on it, but just a little bit. bit of fire around it to sort of like cotterize it a little bit like that. He probably winces and I'm like, it's done, it's over, it's done, it's fine, you're okay, you're good, have another drink. Look, even in a fantasy world, even in the bitter cold, I have accidentally burned my thumb with a lighter. And that shit hurts. I've burned myself cooking. If someone held an open flame to an been wound, I would piss myself and cry. Like, that's gotta be painful. So like, if, like, I imagine, look, he wants to look tough, but like, just, ah, like, I think it would just be, he's had a long day.

He's already been chastised. He's already been, so it's like, ah, and he'd look down on it, like this singed, flackened skin. And, and just kind of like instinct, instinctfully, like, go to grab it a bit and maybe grab some snow and put, like, can't stick to get together. You did great. You're doing good. Is it good? Are we fine now? It's good and it's gonna make a cool scar. It's gonna look awesome. You know who is gonna really like that is ORA. Okay, he's very much. Shut the fuck up. Just look, okay, be cool. Be cool. Just kind of, you know. Yeah. But like, immediately look around, you know, she's not, she's not there around.

You think so? Believe me, I know so. All right. Thank you. Appreciate it. Like, just, you know, like, you're cool uncle. That's your role in the group right now. Yeah, exactly. You have booze? You gave it, you know. And honestly, he would probably just go live back for a little bit. Like, just fuck this day. This day sucks. Like, you know, very teenage. Like, one bad thing happened and it's already bad. And then it's like, and there are consequences from actions. Man, fuck this. Like, you know, just very, you know, very teenage. So I need a volunteer. Oh, God, it's you, isn't it?

It's you, Ian. Like, I need another medicine check to brew this antidote. Oh, fuck. All right. We're not going to get that lucky. Well, I don't think. Well, hold on. We're only. We're only, we're only. looking for a 12 or higher. Okay. Okay. All right. I can't get any assistance, right? Because I'm not trained. No one's trained. No one knows what they're doing. So like everyone. All right. Everyone can grab some of it. But like, oh shit, that's a nine. Hang on, hey, hey, hang on that. I do have some inspiration. I do have some inspiration. Do you want to use the inspiration?

I do. I do want to use the inspiration. All right. Let's use that inspiration. Come on, let's see. Let's go. Let's go. The identical role. That's awesome. That's so fucking cool. I love that for me. Now, hold on. Hold on. So this basically simulates you sitting there trying to brew this up. And I think it's safe to say that you're... Your background is not in potion brewing. It's probably making mash liquor and bathtub mint juleps and shit. So, like, this is probably a little outside your wheelhouse. You keep, you're like, fuck, I did too much this. So you're running out of blood.

You've got enough to try this one more time. And this is like, this reflects you already like sitting here for hours. You know, like, it shouldn't be purple. I don't know why it's purple. What? What did I do to make it purple? That kind of thing. It's not going good. It's not going well. Can I give him inspiration? Yeah. Yeah, you can give them inspiration. Let's see if we need it. Do you want me to make a check again? I would. I would very much like that. Gotcha. All right. Go on please. Oh, my God. It's 11. Now hold on. Jaspprey, you said you had inspiration. I have inspiration.

I feel like Ruby would not be getting in the middle of stuff, like trying to second guess, but just, kind of see it's not going great and just try to be there support of me and I need help. I don't know anything about it. I this is way harder than drugs. No it's not supposed to be powerful. Well I think it's like I would even imagine that like maybe there's a breakthrough. It's like you keep adding too much sharkleberry fin or whatever. So like maybe you need to pull back on that. Yeah. Why are you doing it like that? Never mind. I'm sorry. He's totally in your bubble.

As you're working and concentrating on it, she's just a little too close, but just I'm not, I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just here. No, it's fine. It's good that you're here. I love that you're here. I would say, so Or is very much interested in how this is going. And if she watches you brew this thing for hours, like, obviously, there's going to be a period of pacing. And then it's like, how long does this usually take? She doesn't want to bother you. But at the same time, clock's got a taken. She'd look down at that infected-looking wound every once in a while.

And then, like, she'll watch you throw out the first bats and start it over. It's like, oh, okay. Like, that's not a good sign. So, you know, the kids are very much in their own little, like, it's like, hey, let's go play cards or something. But when Nithera sees her like, oh, Naitaira will, like, put a hand on our shoulder, like, from nowhere and say, I'll go back and get some more blood if we need it. Don't worry. We won't. We won't. He's right. We won't. This is the, like, inspiration hand in. Closer to aura. I thought I said that quieter. We might. Okay. I got one more.

Oh, shit. Okay, we've rolled 5, 5, and 7. This is a... No. Can you please roll? Critical failures chart. Oh, my God. Well, we're not using this one. Do you have inspiration? I do for my failure. Yes, please, yes, yes. Yes. Okay. You're not supposed to spit at it. So, that's what I told me. I do. I do know poison. You just made poison. I thought that's what it was missing. My fear from across the camp runs up seeing you pour something in and she stops you from pouring in it. No. That will make a very deadly poison. You're welcome. Which would kill the curse. Like I you're not supposed to inject.

Yeah, I know. Yes, exactly. That's what we want. Okay, well, you show me how you do it then. Okay, well, we'll talk about that one later. They call that one the king killer. But you don't want to put that in there. That's why it's purple. Oh, it's really good. That makes sense. Yeah. I like that. Can I actually just half a second? I thought you said the kink killer and I wanted to dig it. It's like, huh. I'm no longer in defeat, guys. The weirwolf thing is still here, but I'm not in defeat. Just into werewolves now. Yeah. Yeah. The baseline is where wolves. Right. Base vanilla.

Vanilla is where it's to hear me out poison. That's what it is. Oh my God. Okay. So I got one more. I think after this, we're out of inspiration, guys. Like I don't. Fuck me. This is why it shouldn't have been me. Be fat. Yeah, it should. No, hold on. Stop. Stop. You nailed the first one and I think it's a lack of confidence. That's what we got. 5.571. Now we do for upper teens. Yeah. Before you do, roll on that critical failure table because I want to see what flavor that. Oh, yeah. What you want me to roll? He doesn't have to because he's using inspiration. Oh, right.

Sorry. No. You're right. You're right. You're right. I take it back. Please don't do it. Okay. My God, don't do it. Here we go. Here we go. This is a medicine check. This is a medicine. I'll roll a D20 after. This is the medicine. That's a sex. Okay. So, okay. I'm heading back to the cave. You're gonna be fine. You'll be fine. How about? How about? You just roll. Yeah. He just rolled a 20 and it's a 16. Just for shits and giggles because it's not a check and there's no pressure, I think. So here's the thing. You stay up all night. brewing and like you are like and none of your particular expertise is is working with this.

I will give you a choice. Either we go back into the cave and get more blood from this thing and by now there will assuredly be at least some rat people in there. Right? Or we will roll that crit one and apply it to ORA in the testing phase, whatever it may be, and you can have another shot at brewing the potion. Let's say there's a side effect to this, this, this, this cure. I don't want to, you know, yeah, let's not dig into that, but like, let's say. Can I propose a third thing? Jeez, I love bargaining. Okay. And it may be to be to say. the detriment of the group, too.

I love that even more. Oh, my God. What if Night Fierre sneaks away in the night to go get more blood? Well, if you're doing, if you're sneaking away in the night, not running up anybody, that's more a Susan call than a group call, right? There may be a check-in with one person going, it doesn't look like it's going good over there. It's going to be. Come here. Yeah. Maybe. Okay. So Nythira, this is her thing. She meditates four hours. So during that time, she's not really paying attention to come here. Check in halfway through the night. Sees him just like, it's a mess over there.

Yeah, he's over there breaking bad. Like this is not. So much over a lot. I don't understand. He looks tired too. Like, he looks like real tired. Like he's been at this the whole time. time and it's like... And like Logren said, this team is built on trust. So Nythera will shake Logren. I can create more. Um... You're gonna go on your own. I think it'd be best. Before their scouts come back. Not on your own. Take Ruby. Cut to snoring. It's like 3.30 a.m. Yeah. This is. I mean, here's the thing. We see that or send the kids. I'm too slow. And Camere is busy. So. I love the head canon that no matter what primary colors he makes. is it's always purple.

Like, all that we get, it's like, it's like, have you ever done chemistry in like high school or whatever? And you're like supposed to get a result and it like keeps coming up the wrong thing. And you're like, I don't fucking understand. Why? I did all the steps. But night here we'll give like a firm nod. Okay. I'll wake her up. We'll be back two hours. All right. Careful. We'll do. I try to gently wake Ruby up, but then eventually it's like a shake, shake, shake, shake. Yeah. Right. What? What? Wait, wait, wait. Shh, shh, shh. Mm-hmm. We got to go back to the cave.

Okay. All right. And then she turns over. No, no, no, no. Snow to the face. Snow to the face. Are we all going now? We're going back to the cave. No, just me and you. It doesn't look like it's going too well for chimera. And the whole party can't go back. We can't have those kids back in the cave. So she's processing. This is going to take her a few seconds. She's going super slow. She's going to sit up. Rubber eyes. While she's doing that, Nightthear is grabbing her boots and putting them in a place where she could put them on easy. She's just, as you're putting them there, she's just slowly putting them on as she's processing.

She's kind of doing a couple things at once. Yep, she'll pull up her hair into her sort of bun, put on her, her hat, and then just stand up, and then she'll just stand up, start to take a step and then she'll point that way. No, no. No, this way. This right. And they takes you by the shoulder and leads you. I'm with you. I'm with you. But she's good. She'll wake up. She'll wake up quick. Before they go, can I, if you'll allow it, can I do one more role? But under his breath, Kimera is just going to be like, I need your help and I need your help now. If you're listening, I need some guidance.

I can't get this. I can't do it on my own. Hey, Jasper here, sorry to interrupt. Logren hasn't said a word since he found out. you're not supporting Dungeons and Randomness on Patreon. He just cleansed his jaw, gave a little nod, and walked off muttering something about priorities. He's not mad. He's just processing. Why not help ease the tension over at patreon.com slash da-n-d-R. And if you're already a patron, now's a perfect time to bump up your tear. DragonCon is just around the corner and every bit helps us get there with more stories, more chaos, and maybe even a little less emotional damage along the way.

I'll go talk to him. As... as you finish that thought. You're watching Ruby put, you know, boots on, and you're just like, okay, they can't. I don't want them to go back. Fuck. Okay. I just need to not make purple. Anything to, you know, so... So... As you're saying that you're going to feel that familiar tingle kind of run up your spine is there. But just as you kind of feel that kind of that, that, that, that timber in your voice, like, or is actually going to tap you on the shoulder. She's been up this entire time and kind of watching, didn't want to mess with you, didn't want to, didn't want to mess with you, didn't want to.

Hey, buddy, how, how's, how's it going? Really good. It takes. It takes. all of this sort of, you know, making stuff and throwing it away to actually make the, make the thing. So it's actually going really good. Don't worry. Oh, we've almost got it. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm not worried per se. I know, I know this, you know, you're, you're, you're totally capable. This is normal. All of this is normal. Typical. I don't think all of this is, but okay. But I'm okay. I didn't want to, you know, intrude because like you guys have been at this for a long time. And you obviously know what you're doing, but I can provide a little luck if you need it.

Actually, I could take all the luck that I could get. So yes, please. If you want to come and sit, actually, you know, come and sit down by your gunkle chimera and just Maybe your presence here will be the calm that I need. You're gonna feel like the- that, that- that-that-feeling proceed, but it's more like nails, like a cat on curtains, like, alright, motherfucker. Like, that's gonna, like, okay. Like, all right, all right. So, oh, oh, excuse my, ow. That's pain. Oh, Nythera. Ruby's still like rubbing her eyes, but maybe she sees it too. Nitha will pause like at the edge of camp and look over, knowing that she felt more confident when, like, it's probably like a feeling of confidence that aura has.

That's her aura. So that's, yeah, it's kind of a, it. So there's two ways this can work. She has glimps the future. Because it's a new day. It's in the AM. But she can also absorb bad luck and then put forward good luck. So if something bad happens to her, she can give someone else like the rub. Good luck. So either she can eat that crit one or she can try glimpse the future and see if that's a decent role. Because the problem is it's just a flat D20 and that, you know, like, But if she eats the crit one, she can give you advantage. What is it when she eats the crit one?

I don't understand. Oh, you wrote a crit one earlier, and there is a table for that. Which means something bad related to medicine is going to happen to her. Like a test batch that went poorly or something. It's like, drink this purple one. See if the purple one jives. No? No. Okay. So it could be vomiting or like, you know, something like that. But nothing terrible. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. Let's try and not have her vomit as much as we can. It would not be the worst thing to happen to her. That's true. Let's glimpse the future then, baby. Let's roll a flat D20 and she can replace any roll 14.

So you want to replace your last. medicine check with that 14? Yeah. Yes. Let's do that. So that's used for the day. Right? Yeah, that'd be an 18. More than enough. And I was almost a crit. But yeah, no, that's that's what she does, right? She gets to do that once a day. And like, I think I think it would be like, you know, you're grinding up a lot of lilac and putting it in there. You know, I think, yeah, it smells nice. But I don't think that's medicine. And I think that's where your purple's coming from. Oh, well, I wanted it to be nice for you. I mean, I didn't want you to have to drink this gross blood.

I love the color, but I don't think it's going to cure anything. It'll make a great die, though. If you save it, and, like, you can take it and put it on wool or, or, like, any kind of textile, not leather. But you could die it purple. I love where your mind's out. Where have you been? We should have had you be around here for love for lots. Oh, yeah. If he's awake, everyone's going to have to be awake. Yeah. Night Thera leads Ruby back by the shoulders back to her bed and starts to take off her shoes for her. Ruby's really pissed, but just sleepy pissed. Not like looking for a fight, but God damn it.

Oh. We'll just tell Ruby she dreamed to this. Yeah. That's just a little bit. That kind of is we can look at the horizon and see a glow. And it's like, fuck, man. Like I hate it. It turns out that what my assistant here was telling me that is telling me that is too much lilac. And he's just going to wink it, ora, and then hand it to her. She'll just bang this thing back like a shot class and it is vile. Like, I mean, it's got rat's blood in it for a mix. Like it's not going to be great, you know. But I just that that throaty recoil just like your tongue wants to leave and just blast off.

But within the hour you're going to see. that inky, vainy, infected look start to recede and go away. And that's from what you read, that's a surefire sign that it worked. You're good. Ruby missed all of that. I'm exhausted. And she's, so there's going to be, like, it's that, it's that, nothing bad is happening, but like you haven't, you're not out of the woods. So it's like, is that it? Are we done? Of course. Don't worry about it any longer. You should get some rest. You should get some sleep. That's what you're going to need for this to work. Do you want to chase her for that at all?

I think we have water and I know we have some wine or something like. I can make you something stronger if you like. Uh... Okay. First of all, wine. Yes, please. That's great. Wine it is. And she is going to just just to jump up and just like rat her arms around your neck and hang off of you and kiss you on the cheek like, You're already her favorite. And then this, it's like, oh, God, okay, okay. I'm not going to be a rat. I'm not going to be a rat. You're not going to be a rat. You are going to be an incredible adventure. Thank you so much for helping me. And he's just going to like give her a little squeeze.

Can we please go to bed? Yeah. I'll have some whining. Cross the cab. Loggering to go to bed. Yeah. Noisiest camp at 4 have ever heard. It's probably a late start today. It's like, guys, noon? Noon? Like just like... Well, you say that. But at a at Sun. Logren's gonna get chat up. It's time for practice. Oh, well. Yeah. Like he's not much of a leg to stand on. So yeah. So he like walks by and obviously Logrin's got really heavy footfalls, but he like walks by him like which sounds like pat's him a couple times. Get up. And he doesn't have him bring the sword this time.

He'll he's gonna have him go through whatever drills he's teaching him with empty hands. literally when you're, if you're practicing swordsmanship without a sword, you just link your pinky and your forefinger together like this. And you practice the stroke. That way. So that's what he's going to have him do. Has it go good? Because it, I don't feel good. Your pinky and your index finger together like that. Oh, no. That is right. Oh, okay. I don't like it. That's how you practice. I don't feel right. No. It doesn't feel like a little. I feel like on a twist. Yeah.

Don't. I don't. I mean my hip. too time because it's like, this is painful. I don't squeeze so hard, guys. You're supposed to see. That's how you get a sword. You got to squeeze the sword real hard. If you listen closely, you'll hear Jason and Ian both snap their painting fingers. Being thorough. That's the problem. Like this? If Breed doesn't do something with that fully, that's a problem. Oh, no. Get a bunch of celery. Oh, God. Night Thier will train with Betty as well. So, um, God, Chet will go with you. Just, oh, fuck. So. He doesn't get a thing, so. No, no. He's kind of in the doghouse for yesterday.

He's fine. And he's actually, he's actually, he's, he's, he's. Now that Orr is cured, it's like, all right, okay, fine. And he'll get up and probably not say much of anything. Because he's just beat, right? And he'll, yeah, like, let's see how well this goes. Let's be 20 action. 15. Okay. So he's picking it up, probably because, one, there's no disaster hitting camp or anything like that. No assassin rodents. No infections. No, you know, And he's quiet already because he was kind of humbled yesterday. So he's just absorbing for the most part. And for what it's worth, Logren's not still mad.

Like he's, he's just teaching him. He's being as neutral as he was the day before when he was teaching. Right. So. Before you guys, I'm imagining you're a little bit away from camp, not real far or anything like that. But, you know, just, yeah, just, yeah. Before you head back, he probably like, kind of stop you real quick. Just like, hey, do you have like a minute, just one minute? Yeah, like one minute. Yeah, like one minute. 59, 58. I don't know. He doesn't do that. Well, like, he's, you could tell he's right on the verge of like, never mind, or I'm going to continue with this conversation.

So it's like, it's just kind of bracing himself. Um, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what you said last night. And I thought it might help to know where I was coming from. If you care. like why I did what I did well you don't like to feel useless that's what you said right yeah but so I don't want to talk about it all that much but I kind of come from nobility and I belong to one of the houses of Brightport and and I was technically in charge of it because my folks died, but I wasn't really in charge of it. I wasn't allowed to make any decisions because it would, it would mess up business or, you know, and I've spent the last three or four years being told, I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm not good enough to do whatever and just kind of take a. a backseat. So when I saw or got hurt, I just, the one thing I'm kind of good at is hitting something with a big fucking sword. So, you know, and then there's that long pause. It's like, whatever. Like it's, you know what I mean? Like it's that, you know what I mean? Like, it's just like, well, I've shared too much. I hate this. So Lagerin does a seamless transition, from what to kind of like earnestly listening. And he puts a hand in his shoulder and he says, all right, you don't know what you're doing.

But you are capable and you can learn. But here's the thing. Some things, you're not going to have any control over. Even when you've mastered this, you're just not. and trying to control it's going to get you killed. It's going to get somebody else killed. You're going to learn how to pick your spots. That's the best thing I can teach you. Have a plan. Pick your spots. Choose your battles. We'll figure it out. Listen, I just had a conversation before this with the king in an alley, drunk off his ass in a pool of his own vomit. station doesn't really mean that much to me.

Yeah, I wasn't. Like, ceremonial, like, I'm not really anybody. So it's not. I know. It's fine. I don't care. What I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say. He's like, I'm not trying to like pull rank. Like, I'm not saying. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I'm right. Shut up. What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't really matter where you come from. You're just as new to this as everybody else. And you want to protect your friends and I respect that. But you can't protect them if you get yourself killed. So sometimes you're going to have to hold back and it's going to feel bad.

I just need you to understand that. The next time I tell you to hold you. back. Because I don't know all the answers, but I know more than you. So if I can teach you some as we go, then that's what I'll do. Maybe when we hit the bright part, you can pull some strings for me, because I got to do some shit there. She's going to look horrified at the thought of, uh, and he'll pat his shoulder and just walk off. Like, it's not expecting that answer from that. Just like cold wind blowing behind him. By the way, you just made yourself valuable to me. I need a travel die from someone.

Okay. I'm done wrong. Three sessions recovering from the last travel die. I think we've picked on Ian enough. Like we've just done rolling for the evening. I can, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'm saying I'm smelling a Jasper roll. Yeah, I'm sorry. What am I rolling again? D100, baby. All right, here we go. 55. All right. Okay. That's an us. One moment. Ospicious number. I like it. Yeah, that feels pretty good. I don't know what a 55 is off the top of my head, but it feels good. Cut to me seeing what 55 is. Exactly. Shit. Okay. Well, not bad. Not great. As you guys, as you guys are walking, we're going to get you, we're going to get you down there.

So we've moved a couple of hexes south, moving towards where the caravan is going to be. And already you're a little behind, right? You had to take, you basically took a day off to go fight rats. And you know, so you're kind of double-timing it. And something, like a piece of ice about the size of a standard ice cube is just going to ping off of Logren's helmet. Just p. And then more, and then more. And big golf ball size pieces of hail are just going to start falling. Now, hail may not say, like it could damage too much. But in this climate, they could be the size of softballs and give you a nice old concussion at terminal velocity.

So that's a thing where it's like, hey, if you got shields, raise them up, and let's go find some place to stay under this. Now, there's a couple of different ways to, quote-unquote, solve this situation that can get you some XP, or you could just lay low and not try your luck, so to speak. Is there anything that would get us exactly 43 XP? Oh, I could do so much better than that. I mean, I'm okay with just 43. We're not risk rewarding this, I hope. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If it has any bearing at all, I imagine that this kind of thing has happened before.

So I wonder if there's some sort of, you know, put the shield up, get the tarp. I don't know. Something, something, something that maybe has happened in their past. I don't know. I'm just wondering. This is not the first time you've encountered this. Hailstorms are, they just happen, right? That's rain in the area, basically. Right. There's a couple of things you could do. We can make a group constitution saving throw. And as long as more of you pass than fail, you succeed. and you each get 200 XP. Well, well, well. If you fail, you take damage and get nothing.

If everyone succeeds, then you get double XP. Oh. Oh, and there's a travel boom. Ooh, that's neat. The adventurers successfully avoid the storm and also discover something useful. They fight through the dangerous weather and are rewarded with boons of Discovery. There's a whole table for that, guys. Holy mac. Tables upon tables. It's tables all the way down. I love advanced fifth edition, guys. Go buy it. Go buy it. We're using our code. Go D-A and DR. E.N. Publishing. You get 5% off and we get hats on the head. It's great. I love a good pat on the head. Who doesn't?

Right. They would tuss on my hair, but... What other options do we have here, though? So we've got... Just hide and stop. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. Well, I'm thinking that we like, if we open up one of our tents and like stretched out over the, over the group of us as we walk, maybe we can somehow get an advantage on a constitution saves or something. I mean, like, just create a tarp overhead. Because like at that point, you're exposed, unless it's like literally a brick falling down through it. Well, it's solid ice. So like, at least, it's golf ball size, right?

Sure. Which a tar put stop, I would assume. Yes. The softball's no. Like, you're just collecting one at that point. And then, you know, it's not going to stop. It's a piece of fabric, right? So like, even if it's, you know, a little wind-resistant, little rain-resistance, you know. You know what? I'll tell you what. If you do that, if you do that, I'll give you a plus one to your roll. I mean, we'll take it. Okay, Constitution saving throws, everybody. So, all this means is that if you guys succeed, you will not lose pace and you get XP. All right. We got a roll for all the kids, too.

Oh, yeah. Now, is this, does this constitute a Lessons of War teamwork type role? We all get bonuses if that's the case. Are you fighting the ham? Kind of, you just described it as a fight. Yeah. Against golf, yes. Like the way it was, the way it was worded in the thing is like if they fight through the storm. Oh. I can be firing Eldridge raise at the bigger one. Yeah, just blasts. Like a disco-like show. Yeah. Yeah. I would say no, only because I don't get any boons for fighting for fighting. the humidity in Atlanta. Like, it's just, it's just weather. Well, it's only because nobody helps you.

I said, sure don't. All right, all right. Let's see. Vetti, ooh, Betty's con save is flat. Oh, I should tell you what you're shooting for. We are shooting for. 13. 13. All right. All right. Eddie's up first. Oh, my God, we have our first crit fail. Oh, my God, Ian. No, that's very. That was, oh, wait, did you? No, it wasn't. It was me. Oh my God. Ian, are you okay? Apparently. Look, this happens to every guy. Like, you're just every once in a while. It could be stress. Are you stressed at work? There's so much to be stressed about. You know what it is? Maybe you're tired from carrying around those sick-ass abs.

Like, that's the problem. They say, "Batat Rolling Dyes, good at abs. Maybe if we make you do a rep for every crit fail, like, if you at least pay off for... There we go, yeah. I'll do that one push out. I want you to know. I got an alert from your Insta while playing Warhammer. Look down at a little bit more. And I was doing the opposite. And like, just, it's like, all right. Aquatic and great your protein. Not like in the best, like I'm so proud of you, that kind of go fuck yourself, you know what I mean? Yeah, 100%. It's a, it's a congratulations from my homeland.

That is how. Mm-hmm. So, very roll of 16. Uh, uh, Chimer wrote a four. Everyone! Get Orr in there! Or a con save! Let's see, Logron rolled a 15, Or wrote a 12, which will just fail! So we got two successes to so far. Scared to do it. Jasper, you go. All right. Let's see how just trained in con. All right. Hold it. Rolled it three. All right. Six total. He's got that wound. All right. I'm adding, I'm adding my daily expertise. Good. We'll see how this goes and I don't want to. I don't want to. Oh, did ORA get that plus one from our tent though? Oh, no. So that's 13. So she just succeeds.

Okay. help check six uh ruby just rolls a 13 so as long as Baz doesn't roll a failure I think we're good I got a roll two and yeah you got a roll too but I just assumed you're gonna like fine I only got a plus one but I like to call him that's what Baz has got uh fuck he rolled a four I rolled the 21 oh damn so we're tied so Okay. This is what we're going to do. I don't think that's for... So, they're not really hoping you have a party of eight. So I'm going to take the person who rolled the lowest. We're not even going to say who that is. And just let them roll one more time.

Say my name. So, Ian. Ian. Ian. Good vibes. Good vibes. Mm-hmm. Got it, baby. You got it. I believe in you. I believe in you. I believe in a thing. called Constitution. Let's go! You're! That's game! Fantastic. The curse is broken. Everybody gets 200 XP and I believe that levels you guys up. Yeah. Putting everything in Constitution. Tarty. Someone learned medicine, too. This is bullshit. Yeah. Two levels of power. And here we go. Let me give these kids 200. That's a huge boom for them. Oh, good. Good. Let's pause the session. I want to level up. Let's go boys. Yes, let's go now.

It's part of the recording anyway. Let's go. No, no, no, no. You might need it for the next part. Oh, dear. It's depending. Depending. The way roles are going tonight. I just, you know, not everybody's. Yeah, the way. Yeah. Not my role that you're going today. I think I'm ready. All right. All right. What are we going with? There's a lot of feats. But I'm going to another level of rogue. Okay. You want to roll for hit points? Yeah. To D8? Yes. Okay. Oh my God. Oh, God. Lots of one. Yeah. Plus one for your con. Oh, we're looking real good. Level four, you got 22 health I've seen worse.

Amphin. Like, you know. 22. Okay. What do you pick up for your sub stuff? So I am going to choose Ability Score Improvement instead of a feat because the feats were overwhelming. There's a lot. Yeah. Off screen, maybe. And if I like find one I love, maybe we'll talk later. That's fine. Because that's like what, a hundred pages of stuff? It's a lot. And I appreciate it. I do. But on the spot, it's like level up. Like it's very difficult to, yeah. I think I will stick this route, but we'll see. Okay. But for my first point, it's going to go into decks, which will be up to 16.

And that'll get my modifier up to 3. And then my second point will go into Wisdom, which will get my modifier up because I'm going up to 14. So put a plus 2, which will improve the person to know and all of that. Nice. Perfect. Gorgeous. And then I get a feature. I get innocent facade. And I'm going to choose cipher. So basically, I get it to invent my own cipher. And then I can teach other people it. So I figure for a covert. operation that we're trying to run here. Maybe it'll be good for this group. Come up with a intense list of hand signals and stuff like while you're...

Yeah. Yeah. So, and then I also get another maneuver. And I, having trained with Ruby, I'm going to take one of hers because it worked out so well. I'm going, because we share maneuver traditions. I'm going to learn charge, which is I can move up. to 30 feet without expending any movement or all that stuff. Nice. And that's my level up. I think I'm ready whenever you're ready to. All right. Ready, sir? I sure am. I got to roll some hit points here. Oh, yeah, I'm going to adapt. I'm not adding anything. What am I rolling here? What am I rolling for my adept? D8. The 8.

Don't even worry about the plus. It'll have handle it, but you get a plus two. Max hit points. Man. Well, well, well. That will put you up to 39 hit points at level four. Oof. All right. All right. So, you get a few choices. First of all, we're doing custom and eight. All right. Are you taking a feat? Or are you taking a feat? taking ability score buff. Ability. I'm going to go on my decks plus two. Got it. And your second one? Oh, I'm doing a both of your deck. Twice. Yeah. I'm not listening to you. I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm used to it. Practice techniques. There's a bunch of them.

Practice techniques. My focus feature is that what we're talking about? Are am I wrong? Yes. You're your feature grant. And then. then there's a feature-focus feature. Yeah. So my focus feature here, I'm adding battle meditation. Battle meditation, got it. So I can gain some exertion back in the middle of battle if I need to. I actually have my combat maneuvers have opened up a little bit so I can go to second degree. Okay, hit me. Yeah, I'm going to take Gail Walk. Advantage on Athletics makes a jump. I can spend an exertion to triple my jump to instances. All right, sir.

You're good. You're done. I will mention that I can add a combat maneuver. Do you want to add a combat maneuver? I do. Please. Okay. From biting Zephyr, I'm adding quick draw, which is a second degree combat maneuver. What it means is, is, is, When you roll initiative, or when I roll initiative, Ruby rolls initiative, just as a pure reaction, she can take a ranged attack. Really? Yeah. Because she's a quick draw. That's crazy. It would be. She'd be like rolling initiative, bam. So there's an extra little something. I mean, I got to pay for it. It's not like a couple of points.

It's pretty cool. I think that's it for me. Yeah, you're good. I think I'm good. I did a little bit on my own, but I need your help for some of the stuff, Jason. Give me. What's up? I don't know how to turn it over to level four. And I need to add the ability score improvements. But I did add the invocation of the courts, which is a warlock feature. It's a beguiling influence, which gives me proficiency on deception and persuasion now. So I got that going. And I got a couple of spells, which I added myself because I'm a very big boy. But yeah, the getting up to level four and the ability score and that and that HP is what I need to help with.

All right. Give me the two ability scores you want to buff. Let's go wisdom and charisma, baby. Get those up to a nice 20. God damn. And do me if ever roll a D8. And I'll add some Good points. You're up to 28 so far before the roll. So you're not doing bad. Yeah. Not in H-PM. Do you know. I forgot to add two. Oh, shit. That's fine. Five. So seven. So you're up to 35. Jameson, how you do? Ready to go? Get me. So I get, from my ability score improvement, I'm just going to improve constitution twice. I wasn't kidding. I need constitution. Bring my average ass stats up a little bit.

They're not bad. You got good strength. Yeah. My middle row is 9, 10, 10, 10. Yes. It's, you know what you are? You're reliable. You are. That's right. You know. All right. All right. Lessons of war. Lessons of war. I have all I can. I do. Actually, I realized last level, I should have picked up a third maneuver. And I didn't. So I'd like to pick that up now if I could. Okay. It says you get one. You get lessons of war. Well, it says lessons known one at fourth level, and I have one. Are we looking at different things? I'm looking at the Marshall. What are you looking at?

I'm looking at the Marshall. Okay. As you get. Maybe they changed it. Maybe. I mean, on their website, lessons known at level four is one. It doesn't go up to two until level six. I'm just letting you know, man. I'll take another one if you want. I'm just going by what the table tells me. Table is God. Well, we don't have time to unpack that. All right, well, let me pick a maneuver and then I've got to look at lessons. The maneuver I want to take is called take weapon. Oh, I don't like that already. It is a second degree maneuver. It costs two exertion points. And if an opponent misses me with a weapon attack as a reaction, I can take their fucking weapon.

I hate that. Okay. Sweet. And if I spend two more points, I can hit them with it. Yeah, we're going to argue over that one day. Okay, sweet. Okay. Well, they get to make a deck save. So okay, okay, cool, cool, cool. I'm fine with that then. As long as there's something I could do. I was looking for it to arguing. Okay. We'll find something else. I'm sure. It's not too late. All right, lessons of war. God, okay. Team work. Not to be confused with team tactics, which is what I took last time. When you were involved in a group check, all members of the check gain an expertise die.

Once you use this feature, you cannot do so again until you finish a long rest. That would have come in handy. Thanks. My plan is to every time I level up, take what would have helped me last level. That's what's right. Kind of what we're going for. Can you give me a D10? Let's do hit points. Yeah. Whatever it is, your con mod is zero, so it's just flat. I do get the additional one for being a dwarf. That'll be factored in. How about a 10? Make it an 11. Fuck. I did improve my con to 12. So there should be plus two. Does that take effect? 38. Yeah. All right. There we go.

It automatically does the math. And I let go of certain theory in things in fifth edition because A5B is tough enough. So if you bump up, it's retroactive. You get it. You're fine. Yes. I did very notably. say I wanted to improve comedy. Yeah. No, I know. Look, old habits are going to die hard. It's ingrained deep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But those are all decisions I have to make. Karen still doesn't trust me about there being no band spellless. Like, she's kind of like, yeah, but like, it's like, oh, you're going to find one. You'll win one. I haven't yet. Because I get to use them too, and you guys get to fucking hate it.

Like, hey, I'm sorry to. I don't know. I remember a shadow dragon from the end of the last campaign that had you crawl on the walls. Yes. Okay. Yes. Look, that's, that's old us. That's that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that we turn that. That's 20, 24 us. Yeah. That's fine. I barely ever think about the arguments we had in the first book. Like, that happened so many years ago, you know? Like, shit. It still fuels Jameson. Yeah, I know. That's why I get up in the more. Mouthwash all over the bathroom. Hey, when you added my new HP, did you add seven or did you add five?

I couldn't. I don't know what the last, the recent max HP or the last max HP was. Because I rolled five, but I need to add two to my for my con. Oh, it automatically does that. Even if I just So the D8, I didn't roll like a Anything special for it. Right. So here's the thing. It took me a while to realize. If I add the modifier before, it'll add another modifier. So all you add is your dice roll and then it adds them. So it's it's all there. I understand. Any bonuses you get for say being a dwarf like boom. Gotcha. Gotcha. Look at you guys rubbing in getting more than one.

I get it, guys. I got one last time. You're filling your god of war rage meter every other attack. So like, it's a handoff, you know. I'm very breakable. Just twirling the blades. All right. I think this will be funny. So, Ian, can I get a travel die please? Oh my gosh. Yes. Of course you can. It's a D-100, right? D-100, baby. Let's go. Oh, shit. That's fine. 45. Bigger hail. Now we're ready. This time it's hail here. You're missing. The hailing. Can we disable his deep growth? I, I, I, everybody out there. I need you to to listen to the patiness that is happening behind the same.

And I'm trying to be a professional over here. So we have something called dice stats. And at the top of the game, you know, Susan was remarking, oh man, this is a really good data set. And Jameson picked a random die value, 12, D12, and he's just been rolling them in the background, not tied to anything. Not that, so it's throwing off the sample data and now it means nothing. And this is how science dies. And now I'm going to find out your last name or your middle name. There we go. Okay. So I'm going to do cyber stalking and this is all on you. Damn. I'll stay in a little.

I thought we all knew that. I thought I was Jameson again. A or an S. James. A. I know so far it's an A or an S and I'm going down this drill. So. What the fuck is? You know. You've made a very powerful enemy. That's why I try to sound a good side. You can't hit you. She'll just ruin your life. The lights behind you start flashing. She's going to my door tomorrow with my internet search history on it. I see you're into wherewolf feet. Base vanilla level in theory. Oh, and I got it. Okay. So I got it and it was that quick. Wow. I will not. Send it to me. What is it? Send it to me.

Send it to me. James and Allen. No. Okay. Other guy. Oh, the other one. Oh, my doppelganger. This is Alan Alcorn would not be great. He's sitting in his home eating dinner and there's a red dot that appears. And he's in Boston, Massachusetts, too. He's in Boston. All right, well, I got to find him. Yeah, fight him. There can only be one. Fight him. Well, we lost, so let's just keep going to. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not here anymore. We're going to play a little game, guys, because I think this would be fun. First of all. We're going to move you three hexes down, which means you are about four hexes away from that caravan.

And you're running a little bit behind. Now, what we can do is you can take what you just rolled. right now. And we'll just play it out. Whatever it is. I know what it is, but you don't. Or, I can give you two additional hexes of movement. And you take what's behind door number two. No. No. I'm going to just go to the myth that we're all going to just take the deal every time. I do not want any more deal. I'm okay with that. Are you playing or are you still looking up the name? I do. Wait, what are we doing? No, but I don't want a second option. I don't want to...

I imagine that we're on like a steep hillside and like somebody, not going to say who, Ruby, is like, let's just sled down. How long as I do not, slide down. Do you see the spikes down there? Faster. I don't have to worry about the spikes if we just dodged through them. That's why I lose every argument. Just has to get good at charging. We don't have to worry about them. Look at me. Do I look like I will ever be good at dodging? Yeah, but you've got all that armor and that shield. I mean, that actually would make a great toboggan. Oh my God. Let's get it. Stop, no.

Kids, not this time. Well, then, we're taking. We're taking the first option. Everybody, including the kids, do me favor, give me a wisdom saving throw. Two lowest ones, we're going to. to do some. Please don't need me. Apparently it's me. We don't know that yet. Apparently it's me. So far it's you. It is, it is, the data is coming in. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, me, my protege. It's you and Vetti. Oh, fuck. Okay. So you guys, you're hiking and it's getting toward the end of the day. And you make a judgment call that's like, all right. We can either go through this valley, but we'd be sitting ducks, or we can make it to the top of these, these, these hills, and then just move on in the morning, and we wouldn't be downwind of anything.

So, or, you know, it'd just be easier to camp and then make, it's like, all right, fine, we could probably even see the caravan at the top of this in the morning. So on the way up this, this, this hill, it's, it's kind of a nasty climb. There's kind of a couple of steep portions of it, and you're going to get to the point where you're cresting over and the ground starting to flatten out. And very strangely, almost robotically. Vettie is going to start to move in a different direction than the group. And Nitha is going to try and stop her, and then she is also going to start moving in a different direction.

And all of you guys are going to hear this weird kind of like, it's musical, but it's definitely something singing. And the rest of you are going to see harpies fluttering around one of these hilltops. And vetty and there are walking directly into their clutches. And I think that's a good time for us to stop for the night. And we're going to kick things off with a harpy fight. The very next episode. Excellent. It's probably fine. She's just going to kill them. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. She's not even in a hurry. She's going to walk over there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Little did they know if I snap out of this.

They don't want me close. No. Stip-snap. Yeah, those bird ladies aren't very hearty. Little bones. Hollow bones. Just imagine like the rest of us being like, that's their funeral. That is on them. They're not going to like inviting her over into their nest. You got the two rogues. Yeah. You're making a mistake. I'm trying to save you. Wait for the singing to turn into screaming. We just keep walking, waiting for them to catch back up. They'll be fine. Blood feathers, blood feathers. Blood feathers.