I Don't Drink... Wine.

This transcript is machine-generated and may contain errors in names, terminology, or attribution.

Jason: Let's do that thing. Jason: We go around the table and introduce ourselves. Jason: I'm Jason. I'm the dungeon master. Going around the table, starting with Susan. Speaker 2: Hi. My name is Susan Spanator. My pronouns are she, her, and I'll be playing Nythira Rialith, the Elven Rogue. Jason: And Ian? Jason: Hi, I'm Ian. Any pronouns good? And I'm playing chimera, the Teafling Warlock. Jason: And Jameson. Hi, I'm Jameson, a king of D12s. I he him and I play Logrin. He is a Dwarven Jason: Marshal. And last and certainly not least, Jasper. Jason: Hey, everybody, I'm Jasper.

I, uh, he him and I play Ruby Pedigrew. Jason: The Gearslinger adapt. Jason: What Jameson doesn't know is I've been totaling up all of his D-12s, and that will be done Jason: damage at some point. Jason: Good thing. Speaker 2: You keep growing fives. Jason: But you didn't say to whom. Jason: Man, so. Speaker 3: No, I didn't say to whom. Speaker 3: I didn't say to him. I was going to play the guilt card. Jason: Now I'm going to do it more. Jason: Guys, we are within a... Jason: I scare very few. Jason: I give off more teddy bear energy than anything.

Jason: You guys are within a stone's throwaway of Esther Holden. Jason: I got another big old city for you guys to explore. Jason: So without further ado, let's kick. Jason: things off with a travel die roll. Jason: We have a river to cross and then a straight away right into the city. Jason: So you probably got another couple days travel. Speaker 2: I feel like I do them so often, but I can't remember. Jason: I have not done one in a long time. Should I just, should I do it? Yeah. Jason: Yeah. Please. Give me a D100. Let's do it. All right. Jason: Sorry, everybody.

I, there's such pressure on travel. Jason: 87. Jason: There's really not. Jason: There is. Speaker 2: There is. Jason: There is for sure. Speaker 2: Because if I find an entire group and then you have to take ownership of your role. Jason: Well, I guess, but like we're not using the system where a low role is a guarantee. Speaker 3: Well, you're all going to die. Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Speaker 3: So at this point. Jason: A lower role is a trickier thing sometimes. Jason: But, you know. Jason: All right, fine. Jason: Still terrible. Speaker 2: Yeah.

Jason: I need you guys to know. Jason: I spent hours creating a map and prepping everything. Jason: And if we don't get to ask you hold today, I'm going to be heartbroken. Jason: So just throw that out there. Jason: Well, there's someone in charge that can make that happen. Jason: Susan, let's get on that. Jason: Okay. Speaker 2: I'm trying to take you to be. Jason: The DM. Jason: I'm not in charge of anything. Jason: Fair. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 2: Then if I'm in charge, our travel goes fine. Speaker 2: We make it to Estherhold. Jason: Oh, I don't like that.

Jason: I'm in charge. Jason: I have a lot of this podcast. Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 2: Then we make it. Speaker 2: Yay, we're an Estherhold. Jason: We found all this money. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Right. Speaker 2: In Adamantine, we find 25 pounds that we need. Speaker 2: Oh, and the shadows, they show up. Speaker 2: Turns out they were just like fun things happening in the world. Speaker 2: He did not unleash anything horrible. Jason: And Longwood's dead tells him that he's proud of them. Speaker 2: Yes. Speaker 2: Oh, and all the Stone Sonders die.

Jason: Roll credits. Jason: Roll credits. Jason: Yeah. Jason: No, just as Ruby looks up and realizes that the sign above her is a Jason: Bonzos. Speaker 2: And then the credits roll. Speaker 2: The family, Ruby's been searching for this whole time. Jason: It was around her all along. Jason: And Bonzo's. Jason: The staff of Bonzo's. Jason: Exactly. Jason: Y'all are mine. Speaker 2: Who are you? Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: Camino and Ponzi. Jason: How many party of four? Jason: She just gets a job there. Jason: Party of all. Jason: All y'all. Jason: We are going to get you guys to the river.

Jason: And this is a perfect little spot. Jason: You know, the river here flows fast enough that while there is ice crusted up on the sides of it and everything, there is flowing flowing water. Jason: And that is great. Jason: that comes with a focus on wildlife, right? Jason: Because all kinds of creatures are looking to drink from this, you know, this river. Jason: So you guys are probably, you know, keeping your head on a swivel. Jason: And that is why you're going to notice two objects coming from the high hills. Jason: And it looks like they're tumbling out of the sky, but they have.

Jason: have wings. Jason: It almost like a drunk driver. Jason: That's a dragon, almost. Jason: And there's two of them. Jason: And it looks like they're, Jason: it looks like they're aggressive, Jason: only because the nose of these objects is almost 45 degrees. Jason: These things are heading toward you. Jason: Can I get anyone trained in perception? Jason: Give me a perception. Jason: I am. Jason: Guinea perception. Jason: Ooh. Speaker 2: Oh. Jason: Seven. Speaker 2: 21. Jason: Ah. Jason: Uh-huh. Jason: These are weverns. Speaker 3: Wyverns.

Jason: Whivs, whatever you want to call them. Jason: No, no whiv-wins. Jason: Okay. Jason: I'm for whiv-wis. Jason: I like it. Jason: Every once while I say something, Jason: that really gets under Jameson skin and I wasn't trying to. Jason: Well, I forgive it because at the same time I shook my head, Ian nodded. Jason: And I was like, that's the kind of averaging out that we need. Speaker 3: I'm trying to please one of you at any time and disgust the other. Speaker 2: I just have to share the joke that came to my mind. Speaker 2: When you said whiv-wives, it made me think tradwifts.

Speaker 2: Treadwifts. Jason: Treadweds. Jason: Oh, yeah. Speaker 3: Well, that'll get a headshage for everybody. Speaker 3: Yeah. Speaker 3: Okay. Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jason: Yeah, yeah. Jason: So, never mind. Speaker 2: What are these trad waves doing? Jason: So one of them's wearing an apron that says, I don't get a vote. Jason: And then the other one is... Speaker 2: Talk to about why she lives in the kitchen and why you should serve... Jason: The other one's selling candles on Etsy, but like they're red, white and blue. Jason: And I hate these guys.

Jason: Kill these fucking weavers. Jason: Please. Jason: Yes. Speaker 2: But they have a... Speaker 2: Family. Jason: They should have thought of that. Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: They shouldn't. Jason: Get you guys a map? Speaker 2: You assume we're going to fight. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Yeah. Jason: This is a fight. Jason: They're drunk. Jason: Maybe they just tumble to the ground. Speaker 2: Right. Speaker 2: So we're flying all drunk. Jason: Weverns in Theria. Jason: are it weighted correctly. Jason: So while they can fly, they have very little control over their flight.

Jason: You remember gargoyles, the TV show with Keith David and Neil? Jason: So remember how they can only glide and they can't really fly? Jason: It's kind of like that. Jason: They climb to tall heights and then glide, but they're, they're weighted in such a way that it's like a, Jason: it's like someone's strapped a parachute to a Volkswagen bug and they're just kind of careening at you. Speaker 3: Somebody threw a chicken out of a plane. Speaker 3: plane and it's like, yeah. Speaker 3: Yeah. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Boom. Jason: One ton chicken.

Speaker 2: So, Nitero will Speaker 2: blink this out to the group. Jason: Thank you. Jason: Oh. Jason: Oh. Jason: Oh. Jason: Quick calculation. Jason: Like, are we Jason: two seconds away from them getting on us? Jason: Are they, are we like ahead of the game Jason: and we can sort of Jason: scatter. Do we have enough time? Are we, you know, I know we're not minutes away from them getting to us, but. Jason: No, I would say. Jason: We might cover, you know. Jason: I'll give you a choice to either try to scatter or ready, arrange to action.

Jason: Oh, you know what I'm going to do. Jason: I don't see each of you. Yeah, each of you gets to make a choice. It's fine. Jason: Logger definitely yells for the kids to get themselves behind him for sure. Jason: Yeah, they're going to, like I imagine, let me, let me set a scene here. Jason: So I imagine this is a, probably a break period, right? Jason: Like you're refilling canteens, you're, you're kind of getting ready for that big march to the end of the day. Jason: You're probably trying to, knowing Logren, you're probably trying to do most of the journey today so that the next day you can get to the Jason: the city by noonish.

And you know what I mean? It's like, let's just bang it out. Jason: And these things just come down. He's got an hour by hour sort of plan for that. Jason: Yeah. I am sure he is the type of dude with a stone in itinerary. He uses the word itinerary Speaker 3: a lot. Yeah. Speaker 3: On vacation. Jason: Yeah. Jason: I'm going to manifest an Eldridge weapon is what I'm going to do. Jason: Oh yeah. That's the first. Jason: weapon. So, chimera sort of like looks at this and he just holds this hand out, which now has this Jason: glove of returnal on it.

And some dark purpley flame kind of like burst up out of it. Jason: And he is holding a very like sharp looking and silvery boomerang that is glinting with this like Jason: purple-y fire on it. Jason: And just stands there as a ready-readies with it. Jason: Badass. Jason: Everyone do me a favor. Would you right-click on your characters? Jason: Toggle your combat state and add yourself to the initiative tracker, please. Speaker 2: Night Thier will take out her assassin's gauntlet and then her activate the mind blade. Speaker 2: Well, I guess we're fighting then.

Jason: Oh, heck. Jason: She's going to pull out her, or get her her wrist ballista ready. Jason: Everyone do me favor. Roll initiative. Speaker 2: Oh. Oh. Oh. Speaker 2: Awesome. Speaker 2: Whoa. Jason: Okay. Jason: Okay. That's a 22 for Ruby and a one for an it. Speaker 2: Someone has to go last. And you know what? I'm okay with that. Jason: Well, it'll give everybody else a chance to actually be a part of combat this time. Jason: This is grace. This is like, what? Y'all can't. You got this. Speaker 2: You got this. You're going to take a little rest. Jason: Just filling up water bottles.

I'll be done in a minute. Speaker 2: Yeah. Give me six seconds. Jason: my having a brain moment. Oh, wait, I think I know why. Hang on. There we go. Never mind. Jason: Have we had a rest since the last combat? Because I'm still down 10 hit points from falling through that hole. Jason: Well, I just figured you fell down a new hole every time we start a session. But I did get those hit points back, but I lost them again. Jason: Everybody, yeah, long rest to make sure that you're good to go. Jason: In fact, while waiting for these things to drop down, he plants his shield and immediately falls through the ice.

Jason: Look out! Jason: Orah rolled glimpse the future and has a 13 in the pocket. Jason: Oh, but you know what's cool if he falls through the ice, he can do some elbow drops on his way down. Speaker 3: That's true. Speaker 3: Whatever is down there is in for it. Jason: Some poor fish. Jason: All right. Jason: Ruby is kicking us off. Jason: These two things are swooping down. Jason: Swipping sounds much more majestic than with a tumbling at you. Jason: And what it looks like is they might, Jason: they might just make impact with you. Jason: It doesn't look like they're slowing down very gracefully.

Jason: And they're kind of attacking you from two different angles. Jason: Hmm. Jason: Ruby's going to run toward. Jason: This is her goal, at least. Jason: She's going to run towards this Waverne over to the right Jason: in such a way that she's going to kind of go under it Jason: as if it were a plane landing. Jason: She's going to go under it, slide maybe, Jason: and then shoot her wrist ballista up as a ranged weapon. Jason: Not sure where. Jason: I don't like the way you said, Wivern. Jason: That sounds like. Jason: Whiver. Speaker 2: What person's name?

Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: No, I know. I just don't know. I've never said it out loud. Speaker 3: It sounds like a server at an old diner. Jason: But for the sake of this map, I'm just going to put her here. Jason: Okay. Jason: And... Jason: Bar-Ber-Bow. Jason: Oh, my God. 22 will hit 7. Damage. Jason: Is it too late for me to do a combat? Jason: that maneuver where I'm doing, it's basically double shot. Jason: Basically, it just means that I'll get that twice. Jason: I get to roll it twice. Jason: Hey, unless it says you have to call it beforehand, I'm fine with it.

Jason: Let me look real quick. I want to make sure. Jason: I kind of need to call it. This is the next range weapon attack you make. Speaker 3: So I'll save it. I'll save it. That's fine. Jason: Okay. All right. I hit. All right. So she's going to try to tumble below this Jason: tumbling thing and and ideally land on the other side of it lands so that she's so that so that so that Jason: it is between her and the the group if possible got it so I could do I mean I could put her over Jason: there uh geez okay that that very same same Jason: Wivern?

I'm just going to settle. Wivern. Wivern. Done. Jason: This thing is going to try and, and, it was trying to coast into you, but it's going to just bear its talons and fall into the ground and just kind of like skit. It's going to kick up a ton of ice and snow, and it is not a graceful landing at all. Jason: It doesn't do damage to it, but it is, yeah, it just skids into it. Jason: And it is going to try. Jason: It's going to try and bite you. Jason: Because, you know, let's kick off with that. Jason: As that happened, she's just going to say, really?

Jason: As it's landing, like, oh, God. Jason: 22 hits. Jason: So if you notice, it doesn't have front legs, like it's just got the back ones. Jason: So it's not like a dragon where it looks cool and stuff where it lands. Jason: It's just, it looks like a T-Rex with wings. Jason: It's awful. Speaker 3: Like, it's all ass. Jason: So. Jason: I'm confused. Jason: You just said it was awful. Jason: No, no, no. Speaker 2: I'm an awful flyer. Speaker 2: It's an awful flyer. Jason: It's got cake. Jason: It's just, you know. Jason: It does make those cheeks clap, though.

Jason: Yeah. That's one of its attacks. Yeah. Yes. It does a thunder attack when it like, no, God. Speaker 2: Oh, thunder does. Got it. Got it. Perfect. Jason: 22. I'm guessing that hits. Oh, it definitely hits. It looks like it's, I've got some piercing damage to deal with. Jason: Eight damage. And then it's going to try and use it's stinger. Jason: Mm-mm-mm. So at the end of that dummy thick butt, it's got, there is a Jason: stinger and it is going to kind of shoot up on that tail. It's all back end. And it's, it's, it Jason: almost falls over when it does that because it rolls off balance.

Its wings are spread out. Speaker 3: It's all back down. Jason: What? Whoa. 13. Does a 13 hit? It does not. Oh, good. Because Jason: that's 12 piercing damage and then 17 poison damage if you were to fail the Constitution. Speaker 3: So it's not going to be good. Jason: Holy hell. Jason: That is the end of its turn. Jason: Bazz does not have. Jason: He's got darts. He's got a dart. Jason: It's fun. Jason: He's going to throw a dart at the one coming in the other side. Jason: See if that does anything. Jason: Oh, shit. Max damage and it hits. Jason: Good for you.

Jason: So he's going to win. Jason: You guys have had a. Jason: conversation about this. Jason: And you basically have you gave him some tough love and said, you are not a monk. Jason: You're probably never going to be a monk and that's okay. So we're going to trade in these Jason: monk weapons because they're all finesse base. He did maximum damage with his negative one Jason: modifier to decks and he did three. You're like, we're going to get you hatchets or something. Jason: You can just... Jason: And that brings up Chet. Jason: Chat's going to give a glance over at Logren and like, you were very clear that you, as these things are coming and you're like, get behind me.

Jason: And he's, he's got a sword ready to go. Jason: And he's just... Jason: Fine. Jason: And he's going to take throwing daggers and whip at... Jason: the one that just kind of tried to lash out at Ruby. Jason: That's gonna miss. Huge. Big miss. Nine. Jason: It wasn't that big of a miss, but totally misses. Jason: Kimmer, you are up. Okay. I want to try out this boomerang, this Eldridge Boomerang. Jason: He's gonna reel back. Who's with me here? It's Chet and Veddi, you think? Jason: Yep. Jason: Yeah. Just look at them and like reel back with his with his arm brandishing this, this boomerang, this little flaming boom ring.

Jason: And he's going to lean back to Chet and Betty and just kind of wink and just say, watch this. Jason: And then he's going to chuck this boomerang at at this wyvern here where Ruby is. Jason: We're all going to pronounce it differently. Jason: In my head, I was like, pronounce it consistently. Jason: pronouncing consistently. Jason: And whatever came out, I know. Jason: No, it's not. Jason: I really can't even remember what we're saying. Speaker 3: So it is going to be different every time. Jason: And in fact, I think can. Jason: And every monster is pronounced differently by everyone.

Jason: I think these should be pronounced as awkwardly as they fly. Jason: So everyone just has a different. Speaker 2: It's regional dialect. Speaker 2: We all say it differently. Speaker 2: It's like caramel and caramel. Speaker 2: Right. Jason: Right. Jason: We're very. Speaker 3: Trelick and Twilic and Twil. Speaker 3: like. Speaker 3: Yeah. Jason: All right. Jason: Here we go. Jason: Oh, we're a four, but that gets you a 13, which is just enough to hit it. Jason: Oh, yes. Jason: Let's go. Jason: 10 slashing damage. Jason: Describe, what the hell does this look like?

Jason: So it's, it's, you've taken this boomerang that was already just bladed on both sides. Jason: And you've, you've kind of channeled it as your, your Eldridge weapon here. Jason: So it can be conjured from the ether and you whip this thing out. Jason: And what does it look like cutting into it? Jason: I think it does this cool thing where it like because it's got this Eldridge Magic, Jason: like it hits this thing, it strikes it and you see it strike. Jason: And it makes this like arc of color in around, you know, as it's like twirling and Jason: whipping through the air.

Jason: So it makes this like fiery arc of color. Jason: And it hits this thing. Jason: Because it's got like Eldridge Magic, it like slashes into it, but it also becomes ethereal and just kind of like moves through it and cuts out. Jason: And then like becomes, you know, tangible out the other side. Jason: And then comes flipping back in this huge colorful arc and flies right back into Kimera's hand, Jason: which he's just like holding up into the air. Jason: And it just like slips right in, just like a glove. Jason: And he just grabs onto it and like brings it down.

Jason: And it like frames his face. Jason: And he's just smiling. Jason: You hear. Jason: Oh my God. Speaker 4: From way away. Jason: Just like, she's like, yes. Jason: First time. Jason: It's so good. Speaker 2: That was cool. Speaker 2: You hear from behind you from. Jason: Oh, God. The other withearn. Jason: Oh, boy. Jason: It is going to crash into the party. Jason: Oh, God. Jason: Just splatter in. It's going to stop short, but it's almost going to tumble and over it. Jason: And as it does, it's going to try and snap down with a bite and try and sting.

Jason: Let's see. So we'll try and bite knife era. Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so breakable, guys. Speaker 2: And so little each me. Jason: Oh, shit. Jason: 19 total of 26 hits. Speaker 2: I have four hit points left. Jason: Mm-hmm. Jason: Or five. Jason: Oh, fuck. Jason: That will bloody you. Jason: Maybe we should talk about the adrenaline system while we're sitting here. Jason: No reason. Give me one moment. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 2: My fear could hit a lot, but you can't take any damage. Jason: Those glass cannon bones. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: This next hit, if, oh, my God, if it's anything like Ruby's, it might kill her all right.

Jason: That's negative thinking. Speaker 2: I'm going to look up to the death rules. Jason: So, this is an optional rule. Jason: I've been sitting here messing with it for a while, but we haven't used it on the show yet. Jason: So essentially, think of adrenaline points as inspiration for combat, right? Jason: It's only usable for combat. Jason: It's you can't bank them outside of combat. Jason: So it does not behoove you to not use these. Jason: You gain one adrenaline point when any of the following happens during combat. Jason: You are the target of a critical hit that deals critical damage.

Jason: You land a critical hit against a creature. Jason: You take damage equal to or greater than half your total hit points from a single source. Jason: You land a killing blow on a hostile creature or you roll a natural 20 on a saving throw. Jason: You can only have half your level rounded down for your maximum amount of a drone point. Jason: So you can bank more of them later. So I'm going to send this document to you guys. Jason: It's actually in the folder under Home Brew, but I'll send it to you again. Jason: And there's all kinds of things you can use these for during combat, and it'll just give you a little extra oomph.

Jason: I think we need some extra oomph. Jason: So as I'm rolling this, the Stinger attack on Baz, Jason: Look that over. Jason: Stinger attack. Jason: I don't like how this is going already. Jason: Oh, my God. Jason: That is a critical hit. Jason: Mm-mm. Jason: Oh. Speaker 2: Did we just lose the nine-year-old? Speaker 2: You should have gone after a ninth year. Jason: I did. Speaker 2: But I mean, with that, like, a 153-year-old dying is way better than the nine-year-old dying. Jason: I picture it landing sideways, so like bite and then it, it, so.

Jason: Oh, God. Jason: So we need to talk about this because he's taken 20 damage. Jason: Uh, and then there's 48 poison. Jason: Did can uh uh uh what's the glimpse of future thing the luck of the irish what is it Speaker 3: like where's the future you had it right and then you turned into a sillier thing Jason: what was the role i know i didn't see the role but is it 13 i could make it not a Jason: crit it's still going to hit oh well you may want to do that anyway Jason: well you can have the damage you can make the constitution save a 13 Jason: plus this bonus, right?

Jason: Yeah. Jason: Yeah, I could do that too. Jason: So it won't kill him out right. Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: I might still kill him out right, honestly. Jason: I'm doing the math here. Jason: So 20 will knock him out. Speaker 2: I was just looking it up and massive damage and instant death, it's, Speaker 2: if you're reduced to zero and you take 20 plus three times your character level, Speaker 2: you make a DC-15 constitution saving throw on a failure. Speaker 2: you die instantly. Jason: Well, okay. Jason: I guess we're doing that. Jason: Fuck.

Jason: So Baz is going to catch this stinger right in the chest. Jason: And there's going to be this kind of, this, this like, thunk. Jason: And it looks like it's being stopped by the armor, Jason: but the stinger is going to burrow in. Jason: a bit. And he's almost ragdow against this very thick tail Constitution saving throw. Jason: Looking for 15 or higher. Jason: 14. Jason: 14. Jason: That's the one to resist the poison damage, right? Jason: That's the one to not die in. Jason: instantly. Jason: Well, what about the one to resist the poison damage?

Jason: Yeah. Jason: Well, I can make that one to resist the poison damage. Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because if you'd resist that, I don't think. Jason: Well, yes, but then he gets a second role, because the first role would have been to Jason: resist enough damage to not kill him out right. Jason: He failed that, so now he's got the resist killing being killed out right. Jason: Yeah, even the 13 only gives him a plus one that would be 14 still. Jason: So everyone crossed your damn fingers. Speaker 3: Oh, holy shit. Speaker 3: Oh my God. Speaker 3: Let's go.

Speaker 3: 20. Jason: I crossed my balls for that one. Jason: Just so you know, I have to go to the hospital after this. Jason: So for a second, it looks like he is just dead on arrival. Jason: Like you're going to see. Jason: It, like, the stinger is on the other side of him. Jason: It went clean through. Jason: So you're going to see this poison erupt out the back of it. Jason: Out of his, out of his, you know, back. Jason: You know, so for a second, he just goes limp. Jason: And then he's going to try and hold on to this thing, but it's pure instinct.

Jason: Like, it is not. Jason: He has no idea what to do here. Jason: So. Jason: Fuck. Jason: Okay. Jason: Uh. Jason: Orra's turn. Jason: I don't like you. Jason: He doesn't have like, yeah, he doesn't have like indomitable or anything like that as a, as his like racial power or anything, right? Jason: Because I know that some of those, some of those big people, they got some, I'm not going down just yet kind of stuff. Jason: Yeah, it's mostly mountain climbing. Jason: Okay. Jason: He's climatized to the cold. Jason: All of that's good. Speaker 3: But not so good right now.

Jason: Yeah. Jason: Okay. Okay. Jason: Oh, shit. Okay. Well... Jason: Uh-huh. Jason: Is speaking out of turn of free action? Jason: Or do we have to do that on our own terms? Speaker 2: I mean, we all reacted to come here. Jason: Yeah, what do you want to say? Jason: Well, I think because at this point, like, as soon as the thing like basically, Jason: even before it hits anybody, when it looks like it's going to try to land on top of this, Jason: logger and his shouting, you know, like keep away from it, you know, back up, back up, Jason: that sort of thing.

Jason: So, like, hopefully anybody who's turned it still is is going to be able to get a little bit of space here. Jason: And then he's also basically going to shout for Vettie to help Baz. Jason: Shit. Okay. Jason: Or is going to position yourself right between, right between Nythera and Logrin. Jason: And. Jason: And you're putting the kids in a spot here. Jason: Oh, she doesn't even have a potion. Jason: I guess she's just gonna use the throwing cards thing against the Jason: the Wyvern and then just kind of stay there for luck. Jason: Oh, that hits for minimal damage. 22 hits two damage here against the Wyvern.

Jason: Vetti is going to race over to Baz. Please tell me she has a healing potion. Jason: Oh, please. Jason: She does not Jason: Shit. Speaker 2: Could she have grabbed one from Kimira before running over there? Jason: Do you got me on you? Jason: Oh, yes. Yes, I do. Jason: I have. Jason: Let's see, how many do I have? I think I have four. Speaker 3: Yeah, I got four. Jason: Yeah, we might want to. Yeah, we might want to distribute those after this. Jason: Yeah, I thought we gave one to each of them or something like that. Speaker 3: Maybe that was a while ago.

Speaker 3: They have used them throughout the course of that makes sense. Speaker 2: You know what that tracks. Jason: And it's it's like they're they're being told to hold back. Jason: So when the fight comes to them, there's nowhere to go. So like it's kind of a, you know, it's Jason: she's going to pour one of these down Baz's throat. Jason: Eight healing. Jason: Okay. So Baz is still down. But Jason: He's stabilized. He's healed. Jason: So he'll be able to get back up. Jason: Logrin, you're up. Jason: Yeah, at this point, like, once he sees that Baz is like, not dead, essentially, Jason: he's just shouting.

Jason: He's like, just run. Jason: Everybody run. Jason: Well, you three know he means the kids, but he's yelling for everybody to run. Jason: And then he is going to, can I get between ORA and Chet here? Jason: do we have to go around. Jason: Yes. No. Speaker 3: Go right over. You can pass through allies. Jason: Yeah, so he's just going to... Jason: Excuse me. Jason: And we're going to target this thing. Jason: In fact, you know what? Jason: The more useful thing to do here would be to say... Jason: He's going to look to tonight there and say, get it back, do what you do.

Jason: And he's going to use commanding something or other. Jason: What's it called? Jason: Commanding presence to have you... Jason: attack for him. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 2: And she already had the blade dipped in black blade. Speaker 2: That's usually prep based force. Speaker 2: She'll do that in the morning and then I'll run out by the evening. Speaker 2: But just don't play with her blades, guys. Jason: It's probably not a good idea. Jason: I don't think we've ever touched them. Speaker 2: It wouldn't end well for you. Speaker 2: So with Speaker 2: Logger and things.

Speaker 2: I get sneak attack and then because I'm using a dagger, I get Carver. Speaker 2: And then what does ORA's luck thing do? Jason: If you roll a crit, she gives you extra damage for it. Jason: And she has an ability called Stack the Deck if you're within her aura, Jason: which you both are. She has dice. She can roll after your attack is made if it misses to give you Jason: extra oomph. Okay. She only gets to do that like twice. Jason: I'm also as a bonus action activating Mark Foe, which is going to give you an expert expertise die. Speaker 2: Okay.

Jason: Everybody gets an expertise die against this one. Jason: And as a free action, I plant my tower shield. Jason: So. Jason: Huh. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 2: I'm going to use fortunate and re-roll, and I get three fate points. Speaker 2: Whenever I make an attack roll, I can choose. Speaker 2: to re-roll and take whichever roll I want. Jason: Because that was a 12 for it. Jason: It was, yes. Speaker 2: Here's hoping for a higher rule. Jason: 14? Jason: That's a 14. We'll take it. That hits. Speaker 2: Okay. And then let me roll the 3D6. Speaker 2: I'm gonna.

Speaker 2: 3D6 for Blackblade. Speaker 2: So an additional nine damage. Jason: Okay, so 17 piercing damage. Jason: You're going to stab this thing real good. Jason: And Black Blade Poisons another nine. Jason: So it's no boule. Speaker 2: But like, hey, it can't have... Speaker 2: Okay. Jason: Anything else, Lugrin? Jason: No, his shield is down, his foe is marked. Jason: He's good to go. That's my turn. Jason: Nythera, you are up. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 2: Trying to plan that. Okay. So first, Speaker 2: Night Thea is going to use maneuver, perplexing flurry, Speaker 2: which gives me a rain of short, sharp strikes to disorient my enemy.

Speaker 2: I'm going to make an extra attack option, and it's... Speaker 2: That's my one action. Speaker 2: And then as long as all my attacks are melee, Speaker 2: the creature has disadvantage and attack rolls against me until the start of my next turn. Speaker 2: So basically I'm making two attacks. Speaker 2: Regardless if they hit, it's so confusing that it has disadvantage to hit me. Jason: Ah. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: So two attacks with my assassin's gauntlet, which no longer is. Speaker 2: I'm not going to use the bonus action to poison it.

Jason: 16 will hit. That is 14 piercing damage. Jason: 16. 16. Sorry, I can't read. Speaker 2: And then my second attack. Jason: Second attack, 18 hits. That is 10 more piercing damage. Holy shit. Okay. Jason: This is starting to look a little more even. Jason: Maybe don't wait to take your turn last next turn. Jason: I don't think I get a choice. Speaker 2: But offhand, Speaker 2: with the mine blade activated. Speaker 2: So this glowing, like, Speaker 2: light saber, like purple, shimmering blade is going to, like, Speaker 2: leave a copy of itself as it falls.

Speaker 2: It goes to the air. Speaker 2: You can almost see, like, it's burning. Speaker 2: into your vision as it moves and she's going to strike at it with it in her left hand. Speaker 2: Oh. Jason: You too hit. Speaker 2: Holy shit, this blade does a lot of damage. I should be using this all the time. Jason: So this thing has a weakness to your blade. So it's going to do 26 damage. Jason: Psychic. Speaker 3: These things have no Jason: protection at all. Jason: That's why. Speaker 2: Night theory is going to like Speaker 2: bounce it in her hand and look at it and like raise an eyebrow.

Speaker 2: But then no, I'll stay in front of the kids. Speaker 2: Normally she'd step back because she doesn't want to be this close. Speaker 2: But stepping back would put aura in the range of fighting. Jason: Guys, that is the end of round one. Jason: We have a very very. Jason: injured Wyvern. Jason: And one that is not injured very much at all. Jason: So. Jason: Exciting. Round two. Jason: Re-rolling. Jason: Oh, we got a Wyvern going first, Jason: then Chet, Wogren, and Nythera. Jason: However, Jason: I'm going to invoke one of my combat maneuvers Jason: called QuickTraw, Jason: which basically says Jason: whenever initiative is rolled, Jason: because I'm not.

Jason: not surprised. I can use my reaction to draw a weapon and make a ranged attack with it. Jason: So I could go ahead and make a ranged attack first. You know, you're adjacent to that thing, right? Jason: Yes, but because I have, where is it? Whatever is called, I can use a range attack with my Jason: wrist balista as a melee without any disadvantage. I'm going to need a little something more tangible than Jason: whatever it's called. Come on, I'll find it. Jason: Let me find it. That thing. You get it. It's called trust me, bro. Come on. Jason: Gun Vidya.

So when I choose this tradition at third level, I gain proficiency in all firearms, Jason: which a risk ballest is for all intents and purposes. Being within five feet of a hostile Jason: creature doesn't impose disadvantage on range attack rolls. Jason: Gorgeous. Love it. Thank you. You're welcome. Jason: So I am going to. Jason: do my Jason: quick draw. So there is an attack. Jason: Before this will burn, Jason: why, burn, does anything. Jason: Doesn't matter. Speaker 3: It does. Jason: All right, here we go. Jason: 17 hits. Jason: And there's the bludgeoning damage of eight.

Jason: Why is it bludgeoning damage? Jason: It's an arrow, right? It's a sling. Jason: It's a sling. Oh. Jason: Like a small metal to be it. Speaker 2: Okay. Jason: Okay. Jason: Got it. Jason: Damn. Jason: Well, shit. Jason: It's... Jason: God. Jason: Okay, it's going to try and bite you and then Stinger you. Jason: Yeah, I know. Jason: That's all hope for low rolls. Jason: Bite. Jason: 17. Jason: Does not hit. Jason: Holy shit. Jason: Ooh. Jason: Okay. Jason: Okay, guys. Jason: Stinger. Jason: Tails gonna come crashing down. Jason: Definitely hits.

Oh, God. Jason: It's one T1. Jason: It's eight piercing and a potential 30 poisoning damage. Jason: I need to give me a constitution saving throw, please. Jason: We'll look for 15 or higher. Jason: All right, I'm using my daily expertise die on top of that. Jason: That is, yeah. Let's do that. Jason: 15 just makes it. Speaker 2: Damn. Speaker 2: Don't like how that die roll. Jason: I don't like that. Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Jason: Half damage, 15, that leaves you with eight hit points. Speaker 3: I'll take it. Jason: I don't like it, but I'll take it.

Jason: Okay, since we're talking, since we're talking in combat, Jason: Jets going to see this. Jason: Ruby's all alone. Jason: And he's no good with a ranged weapon. Jason: And he's essentially just like pleading with Loverd. Jason: It's like, let me go, let me go help her. Jason: Please, just... Jason: Just fine, you need to run. Jason: So you could see, okay, he is agonizing over this. Jason: Like he wants to help in the worst way. Jason: And it's just, again, he's being told, don't get involved. Jason: Don't, you know, so he's, he's gonna move away.

Jason: He's essentially in the middle of the two Wyverns. Jason: He's a good distance away and he's going to at least use a throwing dagger. Jason: Oh, yeah. Jason: For fuck's sake, thank you. Okay, that is a critz. Jason: There we go. Jason: It is maximum dead. Jason: 14. Speaker 2: See what happens when you listen? Speaker 2: He has listened to what? Speaker 2: And that has not happened before. Jason: He never listened. Jason: That is not true. Jason: I have, I have a tough. Speaker 3: Traditionally, he listens for one round. Speaker 3: And then...

Speaker 2: When did he listen? Jason: Just now. And the last turn. Jason: And after you told him, all the monsters sound sexy, Speaker 3: he has not tried to map on. Jason: And he doesn't make any devices on these rivers. Jason: That's true. Jason: They're gommie thick as we have discussed. Speaker 2: But is he a thigh guy? Speaker 2: Like that has to be established. Jason: I'll roll for it. Jason: It's you know. Speaker 2: Like does he like a strong. Jason: He's into snakes. Jason: D10. Yeah. No. Jameson says yes. Jason: Okay. Speaker 2: 10 on a D12.

Jason: I don't know what the parameters are, okay? Speaker 3: I'll have to make a table. Jason: We're rolling on the crit table, guys. Jason: Holy shit, thank you. Jason: Okay, this is the first good thing that has happened with Chet in a while. Speaker 2: So he listened. Jason: I, that is, I. Jason: I mean, I'm not going to be that guy, but he didn't listen. Jason: I told him to run, not throw shit. Speaker 3: There you go. Jason: There you are. Jason: D20, here we go. Jason: Simply stunning. In addition to standard critical hit damage, your target is stunned Jason: until the end of their next turn.

Jason: Great. That's very good. That's very good. Speaker 3: That's fucking huge. Jason: And it's almost kind of kind of look back at Logren, like, Jason: Yeah, he must have hit right in the cheek, right? Jason: Just like, pah! Jason: It is like it's going to hang its head low. Jason: There's something about that hit that. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: Which one did he attack again? Speaker 2: The one on Ruby or the one. Jason: Right next to Ruby. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 2: Cool. Jason: It is stunned. Jason: Which means it cannot defend itself. Jason: Loggerin you're up.

Jason: Yeah. Jason: So Chet looks back at. Jason: Logrin looks at him like, yeah, no, go get behind cover. Jason: And he looks at Camara and kind of like nods in the direction of that one. Jason: So I help her out. Jason: We got this one. Jason: And we're going to turn around. Jason: And we're going to give this thing a mean look. Jason: So first thing he's going to do is use rallying surge on Baz. Jason: so that he gets some health back. Jason: This is going to be... Speaker 3: Ooh, eight more healing, baby. Jason: He had more healing on Baz, which I probably should have.

Jason: He's done Nythera, but Baz is got to try to fall back from this thing. Jason: So then... Jason: So that was a bonus action. Jason: And then as his action, he's going to use commanding presence again Jason: to ask Nainthera to kindly kill this motherfucker. Speaker 2: I'm just waiting for you to ask. Jason: Why isn't it dead yet? Speaker 2: Can I use my offhand? Jason: I don't see why not. Jason: I think you need to rethink what your offhand is after this fight. Jason: Honestly. Jason: I can't guarantee it will always be that effective, but holy shit.

Speaker 2: Knowing how a. Speaker 2: effective it is she's going to use her left hand. Jason: Oh, no. Speaker 2: You're only fortunate. Jason: For a total of 12. Speaker 2: I've got one more fate point. Jason: Okay. Jason: 18's much better. That hits Jason: 34 psychic damage. Jason: That's natural. Jason: That Jason: will kill this big fucker. Jason: Thank you. Speaker 2: You ask and I serve. Jason: He gives it a kick. Jason: Stupid. Jason: Right. It's bad ass. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Slaps it. Jason: Yeah. Jason: That's the sound. Jason: I'm doing some fully.

Jason: So yeah, no, he turns and looks at the other three. Jason: He says don't even go near the other one. Jason: We got it. Jason: Just stay back here. Jason: Throw stuff at it. Jason: I don't care. Jason: Stay away from it. Jason: Get inside it. Jason: I don't care. Jason: I can't. Speaker 3: I think you're one of them. Jason: Use the mouth. Speaker 3: You're not like a Chinese dragon. Jason: They're just going to like, fuck this thing. Speaker 3: Please stop. Jason: All right. Jason: Nithir, you are up. Speaker 2: So Nathir is going to start running over and then realize that she can't get there in time.

Speaker 2: And then suddenly, Speaker 2: remember oh and then like push her boots down into the snow and then activate charge to be Speaker 2: able to get over there so these are this is um boots that ruby gave her and she's going to Speaker 2: quickly get over there use a maneuver charge so i get to attack this is all in action not movement Speaker 2: and i am going to attack and oh jesus oh jesus Speaker 2: So I spend my last fortunate or can I do that in one round? Jason: That is a miss, but Ores holding on to a 13, she can toss that to you and that'll hit. Speaker 2: Okay.

Speaker 2: So she's going to miss, but then almost realize her hand's going to move on its own and then she goes a little wide, but then it moves to Speaker 3: Christ. Speaker 2: I love this weapon. Speaker 2: I don't know why I haven't been using it for now. Jason: This is why my daughter, why Thera is my daughter's favorite character. Jason: It's like a winner. Jason: That's the... Speaker 2: Oh, wait, you gotta keep this in breathing. Speaker 2: Hi, Lou's. Speaker 2: Hi, Lou. Jason: So, I'm looking at something. Jason: up. Jason: Incapacitated.

Jason: One moment. Speaker 2: Oh, wait. Speaker 2: I got... Speaker 2: I should have had advantage on that. Speaker 2: That's what I think. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: Attack rolls against the creature have advantage. Jason: Yep. Jason: Give me one more roll. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 2: And then I still have a bonus action. Speaker 2: I forget about it. Speaker 2: Hmm. Speaker 2: Eh. Speaker 2: Eh. Jason: Oh, 13. Just hit. Jason: So we didn't even have to use. Jason: use the 13. Fantastic. Lovely. Speaker 2: And then with her other hand, her not as effective weapon, but has killed things in the past.

Jason: Don't forget, you have advantage. Speaker 2: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Jason: It cannot defend itself. Speaker 2: There we go. So 21, and then I do nine years and damage. Jason: Nine. Jason: Good, good, good. Jason: I guess Baz isn't allowed to do anything. Jason: So he's just going to stand here. Jason: Ruby, you're up. Jason: Ruby is going to... Jason: Whatever. Jason: She's gotten beat up pretty bad really quickly. Jason: And she's just going to get this look on her face like, Jason: oh, hell no. Jason: And she's going to... Jason: to activate one of her gloves.

Jason: And she's going to do an uppercut on this thing. Jason: Just like out of swoop out of nowhere. Jason: And that is an unarmed strike. Jason: However, she is going to use tyrant's teeth. Jason: If this hits. Jason: That will hit. Jason: She's just going to, I mean, she's real angry at this thing because it blasted her in a terrible way. Jason: So she's going to use Tyrant's teeth, which means that's, that's her, that's the magic item that she's infused into her glove. Jason: It means that I get 46 additional damage. Jason: I think you get one of those per long rest, but nice to have.

Jason: That is true. Jason: Once per long rest. Jason: It's, we have had a long rest. Jason: Right? Jason: Correct. Speaker 2: Just making sure. Jason: Just like saying, hey, yeah. Jason: Yeah, yeah. Speaker 2: Extra nine on top of that. Jason: 25 to hit, six damage and then another nine damage. Jason: This thing is rocked. Jason: It is not doing well. Jason: And let's see here. Jason: Let me make sure that's not a... Jason: Oh, I think that is my bonus action. Jason: Tiret's teeth. Jason: Let me make sure. Jason: Yeah, bonus action. So she is done.

Jason: All right. Speaker 2: Oh, wait. Jason: Oh, go ahead. Sorry. Speaker 2: Okay. I'm sorry. I was just reading the adrenaline mechanic. Speaker 2: Because I was like, oh, yeah, you've taken a lot of damage. Speaker 2: If you take more than half your turn of hit points, you have an adrenaline point. Speaker 2: So I don't know what you could do. Speaker 2: If you want to gain temporary hit points. Jason: I would love to do that. Jason: I'm sorry, I haven't read the document yet. Jason: It's not a long document, but it's just something to, you know.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I just had it open. Speaker 2: That's why I was like, looking what I could do on my next chair. Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, I have two adrenaline points because I killed the creature and I have had a lot of damage. Jason: So spending an adrenaline point does it count as a bonus. Jason: It's a free action. Jason: It's just a free action. Jason: It is just adrenaline coursing through your veins. Jason: Oh. Jason: Oh. Jason: It has to be your turn to activate it. Jason: Which I'm still in. Jason: Give me 10 seconds to read this and make sure I'm picking the right one.

Speaker 3: Oh, please. Speaker 2: I'm in charge. I say yes. Speaker 2: Oh, okay. Jason: I mean, how close is this thing to death? Jason: Very? Jason: I think she's going to take another attack. Jason: Who, who. Speaker 2: Is that one of the things we could do? Jason: Yeah. Jason: Can make a single attack roll with advantage. Jason: Adrenalized strike. Jason: Oh, yes, yes, yes. Jason: So I have to update this. Jason: That's two points, but you have two. Jason: So go right ahead. Jason: Because you got rocked so bad. Speaker 3: Okay. Okay, just said one.

Jason: So I wasn't sure. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no. Jason: This is on me. Jason: All right, here we go. Jason: Yeah, okay. Jason: Oh, and Flanking, right? So, your expertise? Jason: Yep, if you move right there. So you get expertise and advantage. Jason: Great, so here we go. Jason: 16 hits. Sixth, bludgeoning, Jason: kills the library. Speaker 2: Yes. Speaker 2: Yes. Speaker 2: Thanks Jason for a journal and mechanic. Speaker 2: That sucked. Speaker 2: That sucked. Speaker 2: Ruby's just yelling. Speaker 2: Night there's going to like lean over, put her hands on her knees.

Speaker 2: Oh. Speaker 2: Fuck these things. Jason: Oh. Jason: They can't fly, but they hurt. Jason: Oh my God. She's going to start kind of crawling towards the river. Jason: she's going to try to get some water Jason: just like something to clean herself up with in some way. Speaker 2: Night deer is actually just going to like plop down and just like, oh, Speaker 2: and just pop a healing potion just like right away like, oh. Jason: Hey, Lagerin's going to drop his shield and he's going to go over to where Baz is. Jason: And he's going to be like, come down here, come here.

Jason: And he's going to just like literally like take his face and like check him out and like look him over and be like, Jason: That thing rocked you, right? Jason: He is, like, he's going to look down. Jason: There is a whole clean through his shirt. Jason: And like, it is just, it went straight through. Jason: So after getting a healing potion, like, there's a nasty scar there. Jason: But like, it, like, he's no longer leaking. Jason: That's the only thing that, that's the only reason he didn't die is because he got hit so Jason: hard. Jason: The stinger came out the other side.

Jason: And just, yeah. Jason: So you're going to see all this like acidic poison all over the snow behind him like a gunshot. Jason: And he'll just kind of like look down and give you a nod. Jason: But like it takes a second. Jason: Like he actually thought it's like, oh, that's it. Jason: Okay. Jason: Dead. Jason: And he only, you know, it. Jason: Goliath teachings are. Jason: One of the first things they learn is the permanence of death. Jason: So they get it. Jason: He's not like a nine-year-old, like a human nine-year-old. Jason: But like, yeah, it is, you're supposed to get a longer run than nine years.

Jason: So it's like, oh, Jesus, okay. Jason: Yeah, once he's confirmed, like, once Loggerne feels like, all right, he's at least okay, like he's going to serve. Jason: He's going to live. Jason: He just kind of shakes his head and he's like, we can't. Jason: We can't keep doing this. Jason: This is crazy. Jason: This is absolutely crazy. Jason: As soon as we get to Astero, you guys, you guys, Jason: whatever we do, we can't keep this up. Jason: I'm not going to have one of the, one of you go down and that's on us. Jason: We brought you out here.

We never should have. I can't. Jason: I'm not going to be able to live with it if something happens to you. Jason: How loud are you being about this? Jason: Are you just addressing Paz on the other side here? Jason: No, he's talking to the group. Jason: Like, he's not be able to hear it. Jason: But, like, this is... Jason: Yeah. Jason: You know. Speaker 2: Like Thera will say, not that I disagree with finding him a place in Estherhold, Speaker 2: but it was certain death in Aubrey. Speaker 2: So don't regret taking them with us. Jason: They're thieves.

They can go back to thieving. Jason: this is not. Jason: They shouldn't be out here. Jason: Not yet. Jason: They're not ready. Jason: We ask too much of them. Speaker 2: The wardens kill thieves. Jason: Chettle speak up. Jason: Hey, if you let us attack something, Jason: maybe the fight would have been over a little faster. Jason: Is that what you think? Jason: Every time something comes up, you tell us to hide Jason: or to get behind you. Jason: And there's eight of us. Jason: You're cutting us in half. Jason: We could have at least took one of these down before it.

Jason: And he's going to, he's going to kind of like, Jason: like, Vettian aura, like, Baz isn't really getting involved. Jason: But like, Vettian or are kind of like on the fence, Jason: but like they're kind of looking down, like they're not getting involved. Jason: But like, like, they're not getting involved. Speaker 2: Sorry, Jameson. That will kind of piss off Nythera and she will step up to chat. Get right in his face. Speaker 2: Boy, a nine-year-old almost died. I am 153 years old. I am 153 years old. Speaker 2: I have lived your life a dozen times over.

When we tell you to get back, you get the fuck back. Speaker 2: I almost died and that would have been okay. A nine. Speaker 2: nine-year-old would not have been. Jason: Did you do me a favor roll in intimidation check? Jason: And this isn't really so much your ability to be frightened. Jason: It's his ability to understand the situation here. Jason: Oh, she is scary right now. Speaker 2: She's scary home. Jason: Okay. That's 21. Jason: on. Jason: Okay, so let's say it was just you, just your group. Jason: Ruby could have been dead if I didn't do something, Jason: but all I'm ever asked to do is go hide, go run, go, go, go, go fucking get out of the way.

Jason: Without me, just then, could you at least acknowledge that we're useful in a fight sometimes. Speaker 2: You were useful from a distance. Speaker 2: Did you see that? Jason: This is the first time I've ever asked you to run. Jason: Don't make it sound like I told you to get away every time. Jason: I told you to stay behind me every time and every time. Jason: You charge out ahead and you get knocked on your ass. Jason: And I'm not saying you can't do it. Jason: I'm not saying you're not capable of being a good swordsman. Jason: But your first, second, third, and tenth swordsman lessons have all been with me in the past week.

Jason: You're not ready to fight that. Jason: And he points to just the steaming carcass in the snow. Speaker 3: That takes years. Jason: That takes a decade to learn how to fight. Jason: You've been at it for weeks. Jason: It's not about you. Jason: You look me in the eye and you're telling me that you're okay with any one of them dying because you want to be in a scrap. Jason: I didn't go looking for them, but they found us. Jason: They weren't going to be reasoned with. Jason: So we might as well fight if we're in a fight. Jason: That's all I'm saying.

Jason: I've listened to you. Jason: For the lessons, I... Jason: I'm not saying you don't have a thousand things to teach us. Jason: But if we're hiding behind you every time, Jason: then we're never going to get me better in an actual fight. Jason: That's all I'm saying. Jason: And after we talked about it days ago, Jason: you're talking about dumping us in Esther Holt? Jason: The last time Jason: I told you Jason: and he's going to, he's going to like, Jason: he's going to start getting like so angry, Jason: like he's like there's tears welling up.

Jason: You swore you weren't just going to dump us off. Jason: and a first city we get to. Jason: You're already going back on it. Jason: What is your goal? Jason: What's the plan? Jason: I thought you wanted a place where you could practice being thieves and make a name for yourself. Jason: That's not what we're doing. Jason: We're not stopping in Estere Hall. Jason: We have no intention of being thieves. Jason: We have a much bigger plan in place. Jason: We have a lot of places to go. Jason: It is only going to get more dangerous from here. Jason: and I will not have your deaths on my conscience.

Jason: So either you tell me right now that you are going to listen to everything I tell you to do, Jason: or we'll get you to Asterold and we'll wish you the best of luck. Jason: And that's up to you. Jason: I need to make a rule. Speaker 2: Pretty wise. Speaker 2: Ha ha ha ha. Jason: In the past. Jason: And I think you can see this on Vedian aura. Jason: When it was just them, this, this would have devolved into kind of Jason: of a screaming match back and forth if there was this big of miscommunication or a disagreement, right? Jason: And obviously in the last eight to ten days, the dynamic has shifted a bit because they're Jason: under your tutelage, right?

Like you're responsible for it. You've drilled that into their head a lot. Jason: So he's going to look over to Veddi and Ora because at, you know, in the old days, Jason: quote-unquote, they already would have been talking. Jason: They're still just kind of avoiding eye contact and looking down because they're waiting Jason: for him to start yelling again. Jason: They're waiting for him to kind of pop off and he's going to see that. Jason: And just close his eyes and take a deep breath. Jason: Fine. Jason: I'll keep listening. Jason: I'll do what you say.

Jason: Just... Jason: Let's just talk about next steps when we get to the city, all right? Jason: All right, let's get there. Jason: Everybody bandage up. Jason: See if we can get anything useful off these bastards and get back on the road. Jason: Well, they got a poison. Jason: I wonder who can take that? Speaker 3: Mostly bad. Speaker 3: Most bad. Jason: You can put a sticket on him basically. Speaker 2: I just shovel the snow around him and just... Speaker 2: I don't even have to extract the poison. Speaker 2: It's on... Jason: You're going to be over and cumbered soon with all the Jason: various, you know, dark liquids and like, Speaker 2: I use them pretty quickly.

Jason: Yeah. Jason: It's just, Jesus, like, it's all going to be kept in glass containers. Jason: So it's just got to be like, like, like, it's just like. Speaker 2: I feel that start getting disadvantage on stealth. Jason: Ruby's almost invariably carrying some of this for you at some point in all for her little Speaker 2: pouches and places. Jason: Oh, which one? Jason: Yeah, no, I got it. Jason: Here you go. Speaker 2: Not the medusa poison. Speaker 2: With urine poison. Jason: That's back here. Speaker 2: With urine. Jason: We're all labeled with like a little piece of tape with some of the symbol.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: Different paper tape. Speaker 2: Oh, wait. Speaker 2: I meant the rat queen. Speaker 2: That one. Jason: Oh, that's back here. Jason: You'll have to get that one. Jason: Well, give me a nice little survival check. Jason: Let's see. Jason: Let's see how that this is for. Jason: Or, uh, Speaker 3: Well, anybody who's Jason: trained in it. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Let's see if you can get these. Jason: Because it's in the stinger. Jason: All right. Jason: Does anybody else train to who can assist? Jason: I am not. Jason: Sadly, no.

Speaker 2: No, sir. Jason: What about the kids? Jason: Because he'll absolutely after that exchange. Jason: So it would be like grumpy dad, like, hit come here and hand me that, you know? Jason: Hold the flashlight. Jason: Just hold the flashlight. Jason: Yeah, exactly. Speaker 3: But we swear at this tire iron for an hour. Speaker 3: God damn it. Jason: Checks the only one. Jason: It's a lot. Jason: That's perfect. Speaker 3: You got that. Jason: That's honestly. Jason: Yeah. Jason: You got that thing. Jason: You know what it looks like. Jason: Bring it over here.

Jason: Yeah. Jason: I grew up in that household where it's like, there was a fight. Jason: Now let's just pretend it, you know, just like, we have business. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Yeah. Jason: So he'll come over. So give yourself a D4. Speaker 3: Oh, my God. That's a seven. Speaker 3: You want to use the 13? Jason: Yeah, let's do that. Let's just use that 13. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Who? Jason: Who? Big old D1. Jason: We are one for the D4. Speaker 3: Yeah, one on the expertise. Speaker 3: Yeah. One on the expertise. Jason: So the thing when harvesting these.

Jason: These, you're going to go ahead and guess with that survival check of 14 canonically. Jason: These, you're going to guess that this can't be all evolution. Jason: These things did not evolve to be this stupid, thick, terrible flyers. Jason: There had to be some of that arcane energy that's like, you know what I mean? Jason: They're the designer dogs of the dragon world. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 3: Exactly. Speaker 3: It's like, man, these things. Jason: It's a flag. Speaker 3: It's a flying. Jason: It's hyperalogenic. Jason: It's great. Jason: So their venom gland, their, their stinger is this big, almost a gourd shape thing with it.

Jason: So their venom sac is right at the end. Jason: And if you don't sever it the right way, it pops like a water balloon. Jason: So it's like a bomb diffusal to get in there. Jason: It's like, okay. Jason: So when you're done, you're basically handing this bladder over to Nythera. Jason: And it's like, let's get a big, big vial, big vial. Jason: And just kind of, you know what I mean? Jason: Just very. Jason: I don't spend it all in one place. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: So I imagine in her poisoners kit, there's just probably just like empty vials.

Speaker 2: That's part of it. Speaker 2: So she'll like open like this brief case. Jason: It can't be that many empty vials left. Jason: We can use all the potion vials we keep emptying. Speaker 3: Oh, that's true. Speaker 3: There's two of these files from this. Jason: Yes. Speaker 3: Yeah, we get the green tape. Jason: Get the green tape. Jason: It's got the label maker. Jason: Who's got the label maker? Jason: I want to put tape over this one. Jason: I want to block it. Jason: Just magic marker rate over healing. Jason: Okay. Speaker 2: So how many do you think I get from that?

Jason: Give me a D6. Jason: Because it's a big bladder. Jason: Oh, too. Jason: One. Jason: I'm going to chalk this up to. Jason: These things are so poorly engineered Jason: that it takes a gallon of their venom to do the damage that they were doing. Jason: So it's part, yes, that's poisonous, but also you have overinflated my body, Jason: body with liquids. Jason: So you gotta distill it is the thing. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 2: I can also imagine the scene where she's trying to delicately like pop it, Speaker 2: but they're so like ready to burst that she aimed it away from herself.

Speaker 2: So it pops and goes, and she's like, oh crap. Speaker 3: And she gets, tries to aim the vial in the right way. Jason: So these things suck. Jason: is the, you know. Jason: Short rest. Jason: Yeah. Jason: We agreed that when you guys roll for a travel die, that covers three days. Jason: So give yourselves a long rest. Jason: And we are going to go ahead and transition into Esther Holt. Jason: Oh, yeah. Jason: Hell yeah. Jason: And I will go ahead and advance the calendar. Speaker 2: The calendar. Jason: I think a lot of the rest of that walk is probably pretty tense, but I know that, like, Jason: Logrin's not going to stay grumpy at the kids specifically chat the whole time.

Jason: Like, he'll still, like, they'll do the training in the mornings, and they'll, you know, still continue to kind of carry on. Speaker 2: Oh, I just thought of something with the training. Speaker 2: I think there might be caught in a point. Speaker 2: like, Speaker 2: night theorist type of person Speaker 2: who says what she has to say and then, Speaker 2: okay, it's out there. Now let's just move on. Speaker 2: But so she'll train Vettie and Vettie will be Speaker 2: struggling with throwing a dagger and she'll be like, Speaker 2: hey, check, can you come and help Speaker 2: show Vettie how to hold it right?

Jason: That's good. That's good. Jason: Kind of polish off that bruised ego a little bit. Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Jason: It would have been so much easier if he whiffed. Jason: it. But because there was, you know what I mean? Like it's, it's, it's, ah. But also, because he Jason: followed instructions. He didn't though, but he followed half of the instructions. Yeah, he didn't Jason: not do it. Which is malicious compliance. He's not just charged into the fight after being told to Jason: stay out of the fight. Jason: So, you know, I'll take it. Jason: That's, that's, that's, okay.

Jason: That's what you have to do. Jason: You have to tell him to do twice as much as what you want him to do. Speaker 3: So when he does it by half, he lands right where you want. Speaker 3: Ah. Jason: If I had to tell him to run away from the fight, he'll at least stay back and throw shit. Jason: If I tell him to stay back and throw shit, he's going to charge in. Jason: So. Speaker 3: Yes. Speaker 3: Yes. Jason: Oh, boy. Jason: It is the third now. Jason: Where's the calendar? Jason: Hold up. Jason: Hold up. Jason: Third of doing. Jason: Well, my calendar won't open, but it's the third.

Jason: Just know that. Jason: And it will be right around, you know, 1 p.m. Jason: Um, when... Jason: cities in sight. And you've got, you know, a few more hours to walk. But you're going to, Jason: you're going to see a ton of smoke. Not the city on fire. Sorry, that, that is how your Jason: location has been going. No. Yes. No, no, no. City's act. No. Yes. But from individual Jason: chimneys and things like that is a large city. Traditionally, back in the day, Jason: Esther Holt didn't have walls, but they have built them over the years. Jason: Mostly for things like the the weverns, wyverns, with Wi-Fi wrens.

Jason: And as you guys approach the city, let me get you guys a map. Jason: Mm-hmm. Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Speaker 2: I would love to see it. Jason: There are these big gates. There's a dirt road that they kind of try to keep shoveled off, but it's Jason: It's kind of muddy and, you know, it's like they sprinkle salt out there. Jason: And it's like, oh, watch your step. Jason: That type of thing. Jason: But there are, there's a big gate. Jason: And above that, there are archers posted everywhere. Jason: Just to, just to make sure. Jason: So as you approach the city, there's probably going to be a guard that's just kind of Jason: checking you guys out, just making sure.

Jason: Like, they welcome people in, but it's, you know, hey, you want, it's almost like a customs Jason: thing. Jason: It's like, what's your business in the city? Jason: Why are you visiting? Jason: Where are you from? Jason: I would imagine Logren's probably up front and dealing with this. Jason: Yeah, and he'll, you know, he'll emphasize the merchantness of the reason for our journey. Speaker 3: And he'll, like, point to the wagon of the colored goods that we've been dragging. Speaker 3: Like the two sleds full. Speaker 3: It's a little unconventional, but, you know.

Jason: So they're not accusing you of anything. Jason: But it is not traditionally how merchants travel. Jason: There'd be a cart or say a caravan. Jason: And there's like, it's, okay, do you remember in Fast and Furious where they were, Jason: they were stealing TVVCR combos and that was the big hall? Jason: So like, you guys show up and you have like, let's, like, let's, Jason: It's like, oh, I got all these Superman action figures still in the box, these Pokemon cards. Jason: It's just random assortments of still sealed stuff. Jason: And it's like that's, yeah, kind of.

Jason: Yeah, so it's like, uh, where may I ask where you got these things? Jason: Like what, you know, where are you coming from with these? Jason: You know, it, because it's, you don't even have a horse. Jason: Like you're just dragging these things on a stretcher, basically. Jason: Yeah. Jason: I mean, he'll say it too. Jason: It's like merchant caravan for robbery. Jason: We got attacked on the way, which is true. Jason: We did get attacked on the way. Speaker 3: All the horses are dead. Jason: It was a nightmare. Jason: I would say, yes. Jason: A combination of those words is true.

Jason: You were right. Jason: I didn't say what order they happened in. Jason: I need. Jason: Give me. Jason: Give me. Jason: Give me deception. Jason: But like it doesn't need to be high. Jason: It's just like a low. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 3: Oh, geez. Speaker 2: God. Jason: That's the highest roll. Jason: Okay. Jason: So you'd probably get it's like, oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. Jason: We know, if there's anything we could do for you, were there any survivors? Jason: Do we need to send people? Jason: That type of thing. Jason: No, it's just us.

Jason: It's pretty bad. Jason: Sorry, no. Jason: Don't, you know, don't worry about it. Jason: I'm sure it will be on their way. Jason: We got to go. Jason: Oh, where is? Speaker 2: No. Jason: We're on late. Jason: What are you? Speaker 3: Let's get. Jason: Just do point us to the silk sheets. Jason: Where's the silk sheets? Jason: Which way? Jason: Oh. Oh. Jason: And he'll give you directions. Jason: If you head down here, take a left, you can't miss it. Jason: It's the largest end on this side of town. Jason: Yeah. Jason: The way he says this side of town is a little strange.

Jason: But, you know, yeah, he just gives you, you know, it's just past the merchant district. Jason: Wait, why is it strange, though? Jason: Why is it strange that he said it like that? Jason: Yeah. Jason: Give me an insight. Jason: Oh, okay. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Insight, insight, insight. Speaker 2: And I don't think like the hero would bring it up, but will Ruby and or Kimira say, Speaker 2: we totally encountered the hag. Jason: No. Jason: No. Jason: No. Jason: No exactly where she is. Speaker 3: Or woman if you want to send some of a quote.

Speaker 2: She said she's coming to town in a few days. Jason: You guys should watch it. Jason: That's the whole conversation getting to the bar at the end. Speaker 3: You're going to get a woman murdered. Jason: That's going to be your left in this region. Jason: I knew it. Jason: Like that like I fucking knew it. Jason: I fucking knew it. Jason: So you've got a 10 in insight. Jason: You just kind of know it's like, Jason: He got a like, you know, when someone puts emphasis on a word that it's like, that's weird. Jason: Why did you put emphasis on that?

Like, that didn't get like, like, like, we've heard. Jason: Like a like, like, reverend and truly. Like if I said, oh, there's not any dead children, like, Jason: it's like, why did, why did you say it like that? Like, that's right. Jason: Right. Why did you bring that up? Jason: Yeah. Like, I didn't think there were until you were in their world. Jason: So yeah, it's just going to kind of hit your ear wrong, but it's like, oh, okay, okay, okay. Jason: All right. Jason: I'm starving. Jason: Oh, baby. Jason: There are two bonzos in this city. Speaker 2: What?

Speaker 2: They expanded this far? Jason: Wow, that's awesome. Jason: Well, there's bonzos and bonzo's dark. Jason: Donzo's dark. Jason: Oh, okay. Speaker 3: I'm going to get into the city. Jason: I'll explain. Jason: It's good, love. Speaker 3: All right, you talk you back into it. Speaker 2: All right. Let's go. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 2: I want to check out. Jason: It's full thick weverins the entire time. Speaker 2: But they give you petting cakes and stuff. Jason: It's a bonzo. And then there's a Bonzo's Taco Bell combo. Speaker 2: So it's exciting as we thought it.

Jason: So I am working on this map by myself. Jason: So it doesn't have any labeling right now. Speaker 2: I don't have token vision. Jason: Yes, I'm working. Speaker 2: I'm going. Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: I'm getting it. Jason: If you just stop yelling at me. Jason: Oh, my God. Speaker 2: No. Speaker 2: I do what I want. Jason: We all endure Susan's abuse in this game. Jason: Yeah. Jason: I don't know where Susan ends and Nithera begins. Jason: And that's what makes me stay back. Speaker 2: It's starting to blur. Speaker 2: Holy shit.

Jason: So this is the front gate where you're entering a little thing. Jason: So if you zoom in, by the way, this is animated. Jason: I just didn't want to overload you tonight. Jason: So every one of these lights are individually placed. Jason: Every house is individually placed. Speaker 2: I'll show you. Jason: I'm trying hard. Jason: Actually, it's using a map-making system I've never touched before, Jason: but it was on Jameson's wish list. Jason: What's it called? What's it called? Jason: What's it called? Jason: I put on my wish list for him.

Jason: It actually came. I found it. Jason: And it's like, Jameson wants this. Jason: And it's like, oh, cool. Speaker 3: So I have it now. Speaker 3: No, I wasn't. Jason: Canvas of Kings. Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah. Jason: It's a simple map-making tool and, yeah, no. Jason: It's like three, four hours of work. Speaker 2: Okay, but knowing the back end of Foundry, Speaker 2: did you have to place individual lights and their animations? Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: Oh, Jesus Christ. Jason: Oh, wow. Jason: Yeah, yeah. Jason: I just didn't have it animated right now just because I didn't want to like break anything.

Jason: But like next, I'll be able to actually have everything, you know, Jason: labeled and all that good stuff. Jason: So yeah. Jason: Bad ass. Jason: I am trying to box from here. Jason: Hell yeah. Jason: That's a lot. Jason: So walking into the city, there is a, so it's, it's, it's dusk, it's like nighttime. Jason: So there's a couple of interesting things about this city. Jason: They have gas lines. Jason: They have like gas lanterns and stuff like that. Jason: It's a little Gotham bike gas light here. Jason: Somewhere in this city, there are power sources.

Jason: They have windmills. Jason: They have all kinds of stuff going on here. Jason: So there's limited. Jason: You know, there's limited power going around. Jason: And as you walk in, there's a big dirt, Jason: a big dirt path that kind of turns into stone. Jason: And there is a huge merchant district. Jason: That circular thing right up in the front, Jason: there is a huge smithy, Jason: lots of individual tents and stuff like that. Jason: And here is where I figured we could roll to get rid of all the Superman action figures and Jason: Pokemon cards and stuff.

Jason: The Lububoos and all the things. Jason: The kids still talk about loboos? Speaker 2: Am I? Speaker 2: Are you right? Jason: Susan, you're young. Jason: What? Speaker 2: Ian is in touch with the TikTok world more than I am. Speaker 2: No. Jason: Okay. Jason: We still talk about Labibos. Jason: We do have the only 24-carat-gold Labibu with us. Speaker 2: Oh, good. Okay. Jason: Is that made up or is that a real thing? Speaker 2: I have no idea. Speaker 2: No, that's a real thing. Speaker 2: That's a real thing. Speaker 2: They're like little keychain figures, right?

Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: And people, like, grown women beat each other to death for them. Jason: And scoppers. Jason: It's first time. Jason: Yeah. Jason: They're like little collectible gacha beanie babies, basically. Jason: Yeah. Jason: That look like ugly little joelies kind of thing. Jason: Yeah, you pay a ton for him and you don't even get to pick the one you get. Jason: I'm going to. Jason: I'm just never heard of anything called. Jason: That sounds like the thing where you don't know the name of it and you just say something. Jason: Yeah.

Jason: That's what I thought you were doing. Jason: Undoubtedly how this came into life. Speaker 3: Yeah. Speaker 3: Yeah. Jason: A looboo. Jason: Perfect. Jason: And that's the... Jason: That's just on some of those out of those loboos. Jason: Who's our talker here? Jason: Who's, who's? Jason: Susan, I hear Susan. Jason: All right, let's. Speaker 2: A chimera, go. Jason: I can, I can, yeah. Jason: It's mostly lying, but I'm happy to do that. Jason: Can aura help? Jason: Oh, absolutely. Jason: I would love if she would. Jason: So we're entering, uh, Jason: Territory here.

Jason: Okay. Jason: So I would say just like you guys kind of have assistance, I guess. Jason: We'll call them whatever. Jason: Like some of the merchants have kids or something like that. Jason: They're like 15, 16 years old. Jason: She has a skill called flirtation. Jason: As part of her class, she's a gambler. Jason: So she has things like being able to read people and stuff like that. Jason: And it kind of plays into the luck mechanic. Jason: So she can help boost. Jason: your roles as long as there's a flirtatious mechanic to it. Jason: Oh, okay.

Speaker 2: Interesting. Speaker 2: Funnily enough, I was looking at my character sheet, and I'm trained in a deception, Speaker 2: so I could give you a bonus. Speaker 2: So I'll just be like nodding affirmingly whenever you're saying how impressive these goods are. Speaker 2: And I'd be like, yeah, they are. Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. Speaker 2: And... Jason: I mean, they're not crap goods. Jason: Like, they are actually. Jason: Like, they were going to be sold. Jason: Go ahead. Jason: Sorry, Jasper. Speaker 3: No, no, I don't think. Jason: It might not come up here.

Jason: This may be better for another time. Jason: But Ruby, this is for chimera or for if Lagrin needs this at some point, Jason: everyone has a price for her wealth, destiny. Jason: She can spend inspiration to identify if a bribe will work and what the price would be. Jason: So if we get to bribe central at some point or something like that, Jason: don't forget that's a thing. Jason: I don't think that's going to be this. Jason: So I think what Kimira is doing is we're trying to offload these to a couple of people Jason: for interested, you know, interested parties.

Jason: And he's like turning on the charm up to 11. Jason: And since he's got aura with him, sometimes it's, sometimes it's, Jason: Sometimes it's just you're like, oh, well, you know, you look, you look like a discerning person. Jason: And he's like very flirtatious and like over the top. Jason: Other times, he's like, me and my daughter here, we've made a trek across, you know, Jason: from a long time. Jason: And I'm teaching her the rope. Jason: She's learning. Jason: Go ahead. Jason: Like tell him what, you know, how much we have. Jason: And, you know, like gets her in on like the deal.

Jason: And in almost all of them, he's conflating the price, right? Jason: Like, all the liquor is the best liquor that we've gotten. Jason: All of the goods are like the rarest things from different parts of Alara Jason: that you just couldn't possibly get anywhere else. Jason: And sometimes he has to, like, walk away and be like, oh, well, if you're not interested, Jason: I guess we can take our business somewhere else. Jason: I'm sure there's plenty of other people here who would love the chance to be able to make Jason: coin. Jason: I'm going to ask for a deception check because there's more deception in it than Jason: truth, obviously.

Jason: These are goods. Jason: These are fine. Jason: These are good, you know, stuff. Jason: But like, you know, you're kind of driving up. Jason: And what we're going to do? Jason: We're going to do it one time. Jason: So we're not, we talked about this before the session. Jason: We're not going to go. Jason: It's like, oh, and now we need to sell all of the armor and all of the sword. Jason: And we're not doing that. Jason: One and done. Jason: And then we're just going to simulate you guys kind of coasting through with the market. Jason: And yeah.

Jason: So deception check, please. Jason: Okay. Speaker 2: Get an expertise for me. Jason: Oh, really? Jason: I get another expertise day? Speaker 2: I'm nodding affirmingly going, yes. Jason: Yes, right, right. Speaker 2: I would know. Speaker 2: Okay. Jason: That's correct. Jason: What is the flirtation? What is the exact thing? Jason: It's a good fortune. Jason: Open to new encounters and benefits there are. Jason: Flare and style. Jason: Sve gained an expertise on deception and persuasion check. Jason: So, Jason: that bumps up to a D6. Speaker 3: Well, I'm at a D-15.

Jason: So it has to be another 15-year-old or so. Jason: I'm at. Oh, great. Jason: I'm at a D-10. Jason: Is that the highest I can go? Jason: That's the highest you can go. Jason: Jesus, God. Jason: Oh, my God. Jason: Wow. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Use it. Jason: Okay. Jason: Let's do it. Speaker 3: 21. Jason: 21. Jason: Yeah. Jason: What I'm going to do. Jason: And I took note of this. Jason: For every pound of gear that you guys have. Jason: You're going to roll a D12. Jason: That's just for James. Jason: This is the least be training. Speaker 3: Yeah.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Jason: So, give me a moment to tally this up. Jason: And then we're basically going to add a zero to it. Jason: And that's how much gold you're going to get. Jason: I dig it. Jason: Cool. Jason: Can I get 47 D12s? Jason: Please. Speaker 2: Holy shit. Speaker 2: Jameson, this is your moment. Speaker 2: God, how do I? Speaker 2: This is it. Jason: I don't know. Jason: Do it. Jason: As a formula. Speaker 2: It's going to be orgasmic. Jason: It's going to be amazing. Jason: Okay. Jason: 40. Jason: I don't know if this is going to work.

Jason: I don't either. Jason: All right. Jason: I'm going to execute macro. Jason: We're going to see what happens. Speaker 2: Oh, it's forward slash R and then space. Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: Oh, yeah. Jason: Or slash. Jason: R, not R slash. Jason: Not R slash. Jason: Forward slash R. Jason: Keep all this in brief. Jason: You're going to crash. Jason: Oh, my God. Jason: $278. Jason: All right. Jason: So here's what we're going to do. Jason: You're going to get Jason: 2780 gold plus Jason: a few. Jason: I imagine there's kind of a... Jason: It's like, look, I can't just hand over that much gold.

Jason: I can trade you goods and things like that. Jason: So here's what we're going to do. Jason: Everyone in the party. Jason: gets to choose Jason: between a plus one Jason: a plus one piece of armor, Jason: a plus one weapon, Jason: or a rare piece of jewelry. Jason: Or like a cloth, a cape, Jason: something like that, a fun hat. Jason: A fun hat. Jason: But a plus one hat, obviously. Jason: But a plus one hat, obviously. Jason: Yes. Jason: At least. Speaker 2: Can just for the sake of the episode, because I kind of want to like, let me look through all the rare items.

Speaker 2: Absolutely. Jason: We do not have to do this right now. Jason: But just know that everyone in the party, even the kids, it's going to get one of those things. Jason: So feel free. Speaker 2: Roos. Jason: Look around. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 2: If one of us gets hyperfixated, we can look up specific things for the kids. Jason: I know for a fact that the difference. Jason: Discord's just going to be chock full of, oh, I found this. Jason: Oh, I found this. Jason: And please do that. Speaker 3: It brightens my day. Speaker 3: Every time.

Jason: Maybe we can get suggestions from the crowd out there. Jason: We'll probably play again before then. Speaker 2: But just know that you could have given us. Jason: You could have. Jason: You could have. Get on the ball. Jason: Everyone out there. Jason: You had your chance. Jason: You're also going to get a gift certificate. Jason: it worth 200 gold to Bonzo's dark. Jason: And when the person hands this over, it's almost like, yeah, and take this. Jason: Like, it seems like, the tiger goes, no. Jason: First of all, 200 gold is like an insane amount for an eatery.

Jason: Like, if I walked up to one of you and handed you guys a thousand dollars, Jason: gift card to Cheesecake Factory. Speaker 3: That's fucking insane. Speaker 3: I'd use it that. Speaker 3: Thank you. Jason: It's like, huh, okay. Jason: Why? Jason: Like, Kimmer is going to get the same Jason: the same impression that he got from. Jason: It's like, uh, Jason: just yeah, on this side of town. Jason: Like, it's that same. Jason: It's like, here you go. Jason: It's just the same. Jason: And for the first time in days. Jason: Cal goth. Jason: Just gonna go.

Jason: Like just a little, just a just a, like, like he's woke up from Jason: hibernation and horny. Jason: Like, do you know, like? Jason: Mm-hmm. Jason: Okay. Jason: I imagine there's like a warm feeling that comes with that too. Speaker 2: It's just like. Speaker 2: Yes. Jason: Like you've peed yourself, kind of. Speaker 3: But like you didn't have it. Jason: Yeah. Jason: You know what I mean? Jason: Exactly. Jason: See, Susan, you got to sit through this stuff. Jason: It can't all be stabbing and saving the part. Jason: You got to sit through.

Jason: You got to sit through. Speaker 2: Your face was me going, yeah, I can't admit. Speaker 2: I do know what you mean. Speaker 2: Exactly. Jason: I mean, that's the beauty, right? Jason: But none of that. Jason: Oh, this is going to be cold and wet in a second. Jason: Like, you know what I mean? Jason: Like, just the present part. Speaker 3: It's all the good part, baby. Speaker 3: It's all the good part, baby. Jason: All the good part. Speaker 3: It's when you're swimming in a cold lake, you know? Speaker 3: Yeah. Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

Jason: You've all been there. Jason: So, add that gold to your till. Jason: And yeah, shit. Jason: Where do you guys want to go? Jason: I don't have everything labeled yet, but... Jason: So... Jason: Well, we just got this coupon. Jason: I mean, we got to go to Banzas Stark. Jason: I'm starving. Jason: I'm starving. Jason: told you I'm starving. Jason: By the way, whenever that was handed over, whenever the gift certificate, the coupon, like, Jason: if this were a shot from a, from a camera, like a video, like a, like a film, it was handed Jason: over.

Jason: And before Kamera was able to take it, Ruby had snatched it. Jason: It was like, yes. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: So hungry. Jason: No. Jason: And Ruby says yes at the same time. Jason: I'm starving. I don't care where it is. Jason: Except I care if it's bonzos. Jason: Did all the kids? Jason: Did you ever go to Bonzo's while you were in Aubrey? Jason: Wasn't that great? Jason: They're going to kind of look at each other. Jason: It's like, couldn't really afford bonzo. Jason: You went out. Jason: That tacky place? Jason: Or is going to be kind of like not sold on it.

Jason: I'm not sold on it. Jason: It's like. Jason: I don't know. Jason: Sounded loud. Jason: Like, she sees you're excited about it. Jason: So she's kind of like, yay. Jason: But like, you know, you could tell when she's humoring. Jason: Right. Jason: It is loud. Jason: And we're going to stuff your face with a greasy, salty food. Jason: And it's going to be delicious. Jason: And ice cream. Jason: That comes all a mode on anything on the menu that you want. Jason: It real, anything, for real, anything. Jason: For real, anything. Jason: Vennie's on board, by the way.

Jason: That sounds amazing. Jason: Like, Feddy's always wanted to try it. Jason: Or I'm going to stuff your face full of greasy. Jason: Like, the person who's really into her looks is not super great. Jason: Like, it's like, cool, great. Jason: I hope someone sees me eating there. Jason: Like that type of thing. Jason: So if you look at your map, you have a long walk because Jason: Banzos, regular old Banzos is right in the middle of the city. Jason: Boom, right there. Jason: That big green thing, but they're getting ready to close. Jason: Bonzo's dark is open all night, baby.

Jason: But that's all the way on the other side of town, all the way back there. Speaker 3: That's the side of town. Jason: Okay. Yeah, it's about two and a half miles. Jason: Should we get a room first? Jason: Let's drop off. Let's drop it all. I'm hungry, but I'm tired too. Jason: Let's get a room and then let's hire a wagon. I'm not walking. I'm not Jason: walking all the way there. Jason: You can get an Uber. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Speaker 2: Oh, do they have Waymo's? Jason: You know what? It would probably... Jason: Weimos. Jason: It's like, why.

Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: It's whymoes, yeah. Jason: So you guys, you're going to get a room. Silksheets. Jason: You've been told this place is... Jason: It's wonderful. And when you get there, Jason: this is probably. Jason: And I'm taking your, your, your, your social backgrounds into account. Jason: This might be the nicest place that you've ever stayed. Jason: Like the lobby itself, there's a little fountain. Jason: Like there's a, like, it's warm, it's cozy, like big burgundy curtains. Jason: And like it's, it feels plush. Jason: Like everything's coated in velvet.

Jason: So when you walk in, it. Jason: It just like you like the harsh cold outside you walk in. Jason: It's like oh. Jason: Oh. Jason: It's like someone preheated the car for you in the morning in a December day. Jason: You know what I mean? Jason: This is my kind of place. Jason: I can see why Kyla liked it. Jason: After living out in the mountains or forest for as long as she did, Jason: this is... Jason: I get it. Speaker 3: I get it. Speaker 3: I get it. Jason: No, it's crazy. Jason: Ruby's going to turn around. Jason: As Longer is coming in, Jason: she's going to turn around and get in his way.

Jason: And she's just going to not like regressively, Jason: but she's going to turn around and say, Jason: can we have our own rooms? Jason: Oh. Jason: Oh. Jason: He's looking at this bag of money that we just got. Jason: So normal places to stay, like an inn. Jason: Assuming you guys are like sharing, you know, like two or three people to a room, Jason: they're usually about like four or five gold because it's like, it's like, yeah, there's a couple of twin beds or something like that, you know. Jason: These rooms are 15 gold a night per room.

Jason: However, that. Jason: That comes with a full cleaning service. Jason: There's a catered breakfast every morning that like there's fresh baked muffins and bread and stuff like that. Jason: Like they have a banana bread here freshly buttered that is to die for. Jason: They bring your they bring your luggage up. Jason: Lugrin. Jason: you know they have bathtubs Jason: All right Jason: men in one room Jason: women will get their own room Jason: We'll do two rooms Jason: Come on me and Camero Jason: Yeah me and Ruby Jason: The kids can bunk up and Jason: The kids can bunk up and Jason: The two Jason: More mature people Speaker 3: You're going to go to bed way earlier than we are.

Speaker 3: That's right. Jason: I really don't like it when you two agree on things. Jason: So the kids all get one room? Jason: I just don't know. Jason: They're a team. Jason: It's a bonding exercise. Jason: All right, three rooms. Jason: Oh, yes. Jason: We got to remember to ask for Lanny or at least say that we were sent Kyla. Jason: Kyla. Jason: It was Kyla, right, Ruby, Kyla? Jason: I don't remember what its name was, but sure. Jason: Right. Speaker 3: Whatever her cover was. Speaker 3: That part. Speaker 3: So he's like, all right. Jason: All right.

Jason: All right. Jason: Yeah, we'll ask for Lanny at the, at the desk. Jason: And see if we can get three rooms for at least a couple days. Jason: Yeah, so Lanny's one of the two people working the front desk. Jason: And there's going to be a lady that waits on you. Jason: It's like, is Lany around? Jason: And it's going to be a very tall gentleman. Jason: Kind of puts a hand. Jason: puts a hand on her shoulder. Jason: It's like, I've got this. Jason: Can I help you, Sam? Jason: Very, very lanky guy. Jason: Like, he's, he looks to be human, but like he's got a very square jaw, tall, dude.

Jason: Kind of looks down at Lagrin, but that's only because of height. Jason: He's like, hi, Lanny, I was told to ask for you, and he'll point to Ruby. Jason: And he'll look over it, Ruby. Jason: It's like, can I help you? Jason: You? Yeah, he... Jason: I don't... She's going to point to chimera. Jason: Hello, Ladi. Jason: Yes, you can help me. I would appreciate it. Jason: Kimer, a pleasure to meet you. Jason: This is a lovely establishment you have, by the way. Jason: Very charming. Jason: Oh, thank you very much. Jason: We do take pride in our aesthetics.

Jason: It's the best you'll find in any city. Jason: I assure you. Jason: So we were told by someone we met on the road. Jason: Kyla, she said that she knew you. Jason: In fact, she sent us here. Jason: She said it was the best place to come out of everywhere. Jason: Oh, Kayla sent you. Speaker 3: He's going to gently correct. Speaker 3: He's going to gently correct. Speaker 3: It's like, oh, you know. Jason: It's been a long, long journey, as you can probably tell. Jason: But she was very. Jason: Very sweet. Yeah. Really, really nice. Jason: He's not, he doesn't mean it, but he is kind of judging your appearance a bit.

Jason: It's like I can see. It's been a very long journey for you. Jason: How long would you like to stay with us? Jason: It's the entire party of the parents and children, I see. Jason: Well, we were thinking that children could be in their own room and the parents could have theirs. Jason: and me and my friend here, we would like a room as well. Jason: So three. Jason: For a couple of days, I think. Jason: Two, three? Jason: We'll do three days to start. Jason: Three days. Three rooms, three days. Jason: Well, let me see what I have available. Jason: And he's going to look through things.

Jason: They have bathtubs, right? Jason: But we have jacuzzis. Jason: Yes. Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Jason: She's going to feel, it's going to like orgasmic kind of like the best chocolate has ever been eaten kind of a face. Jason: Oh my God. Jason: Logrin doesn't know what a jacuzzi is. Jason: So he's like, is that like a monster? Jason: And then he looks at the others. Jason: He gets into fighting mode. Speaker 3: She's like, there's jacuzis. Speaker 3: Look at jacuzis. Speaker 3: Look at jacuzis. Speaker 2: I would put her hand on his shoulder.

Speaker 2: Oh, dear. Speaker 2: They're just really nice bathtubs. Speaker 2: Playing up the mom and dad. Jason: Do they have the booboos here? Jason: They have the boos. Speaker 3: Yeah. Speaker 3: Start stupid. Speaker 3: We get a gun. Speaker 3: He gave him a gun. Speaker 3: Anyway, I start blasting. Speaker 3: Flame thrower. Jason: And he starts going into the amenities and everything. Jason: It's like, oh, all the rooms are there's artisan. Speaker 3: What's a Wi-Fi password? Jason: Yeah, there's a Wi-Fi. Jason: It's like he's going to hand you the magnetic card.

It's right in here. Jason: Or no's extra. And just, yeah, that's only fair. Jason: But, uh, ACABEL and HBO on them. Jason: Uh, he's got a covered. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Colgoth and I will hook you all up with Porto. Don't work. Jason: But it's live action. Speaker 2: Oh, no. Speaker 3: This is why the kids have their own room. Jason: Right. Jason: Yeah. Jason: So he's going to go and it's like, we have artis and soaps from around the city and as far as Winter Haven. Jason: We have every single bath in the establishment. Jason: One is in each room. Jason: They're quite large.

Jason: And there's a jacuzzi in our suites. Jason: And I happen to have three sweets available with the largest one. Jason: I thought the children might like, Jason: considering they're all bunking together. Jason: The water is heated to a piping hot. Jason: And like, he's going to, I was going to do Celsius, Jason: but I'm going to get it wrong. Jason: So Kelvin. Jason: It's 200 Kelvin. Speaker 3: Oh, Jesus. Jason: Aw longer than the surface of the sun. Jason: That is technically negative 100. Jason: Just for the record. Jason: I'm just looking it up.

Jason: I didn't know that. Jason: No, I didn't know either. Jason: That's why I just announced a number. Jason: I told you. Jason: I get scared. Jason: I just say numbers and run. Jason: I just say numbers and run. Jason: But there's, there's, uh, these, uh, gas-heated cauldrons underneath the hotel that pipe up hot water on demand. Jason: So, you know, they got to pay for that kind of service. There's like brass caldrons down there. Jason: So the sweets are usually 30 gold a night. However, he's going to give it to you for the standard Jason: rate because you know, Kayla.

Thank you. Speaker 2: Lanny, you're the best. Jason: So what's that? Jason: Three rooms, three nights? Jason: What's that work out to for us here? Jason: Hold on. Jason: 45. Jason: It's 45, 90. Jason: It's fucking, no. Jason: Wait, hold on. I did. Jason: That's 90. Jason: And then another 45. Jason: That's 130. Jason: Wait. Jason: That can't be right. Jason: 15. Jason: 15. Jason: 1135. Jason: Time 3. Jason: Is it? Speaker 2: 33. Jason: No, it is. Because it's 90. You're right. It's $19. Speaker 2: And plus 45. Yeah. Jason: That really is scary. Speaker 2: Yeah.

Jason: This is why I'm not a good business man. I make things. I'm not good. Jason: You can't see it, but we are all sweating. Speaker 3: There's like a. Speaker 3: And I'm still not convinced that any of this is right. Jason: This is all fantasy, but I still think there's a bill come do. Jason: It's like, it's too close to Dragon Khan. Jason: And it's not going to be 100. Jason: 35 anything. Jason: If you go to patreon.com slash DA and Jason: extra stuff, content and the like and support. Speaker 2: I'm sure I don't remember, but we had really great behind the scenes content for you.

Jason: That was hours ago. Jason: I can't remember. Jason: We're getting ready to start another group on. Jason: We're going back to the fort. Jason: We, it looks like we've got Karen Ryan. Jason: and Michael, I think. Speaker 2: I'm excited. Jason: Yeah. Jason: I was going to say something, but I'm not going to say it. Jason: No, please say something. Speaker 2: No, it's just going to be shade. Jason: And I like three of those four people, and I won't tell you which one. Jason: What? Speaker 3: What? Speaker 3: Karen. Speaker 3: No. Speaker 3: No.

No, they're all great. Jason: I couldn't have handpicked a better group. Jason: I couldn't have handpicked a better group. Jason: People should listen to it. Jason: Anyway. Jason: So he hands over the money. Jason: He counts it out using his smallest denomination of coins. Jason: No, no, no. Jason: He'll use it. Speaker 3: Because we want to process. Speaker 3: We use the big coin. Jason: I used the ones that are big. Jason: That is canon to theory. Jason: The large of the coin, the more. Speaker 3: It's worse. Jason: Is that actually true? Jason: Because that's great.

Jason: No, no, no. Jason: These gold pieces are like dinner plates. Speaker 2: God, that must be heavy. Jason: Well, yeah, you should see because I'm keeping all the gold on my character. Jason: So I added all of the gold from the past couple days. Jason: And my inventory shot up. Jason: So I had to convert some of it to platinum. Speaker 3: Yes, please do that. Jason: Because otherwise, that's what every rich person in this world is buff as shit. Speaker 3: Yeah. Jason: My 15 foot speed went down to 10 because I had just dragging behind my money.

Jason: Yeah, so I'll hand the money over and he'll look to the kids and be like, Jason: I don't want to regret this. Jason: No rock star behavior. Jason: Anyway. Jason: They are a little. Jason: So, okay, two things. Jason: One, at first, they're picturing a room in a common inn. Jason: right? It's like, cool, asses to elbows. All that's great. Like, that's fantastic. Can't wait. One bed. And Chet's like, cool, I already know I'm on the floor. Fantastic. Like, just kind of like, you know, before any, before we see a room, I know my back is fucked. So.

Jason: So yeah, yeah, but still. Jason: No straws. Jason: No, no, we're not flipping coins. Jason: Nope. Jason: So you're, this is the first time they get to be by themselves for a bit. Jason: And it's in a suite. Jason: So as you guys go up the stairs and everything, there's, it's like on the fifth floor, this place is huge. Jason: And they're all the way at the end of the hall. Jason: And they're just kind of like, they have this key. Jason: They're like, is this it? Jason: Because it's a double door thing. Jason: And they're going to walk in and it's like a fucking apartment.

Jason: Like it's a huge, like there's like two huge beds, a jacuzzi in there. Jason: And they're just like like, like gobsmacked. Jason: And they immediately shut the door behind them. Jason: And you can hear them kind of like squealing and like running around and Jason: fucking around that stuff. Jason: instantly. That mini bar is fucking Speaker 3: I was just going to get a lot of red and yell Speaker 2: like, stay out of the mini bar. Jason: You can already hear someone crack open a $10 can of Coca-Cola. Speaker 2: Oh, right. Jason: I'm getting $6.00 Reese's.

Jason: Fuck. Jason: That would just empty my gold pouch on the rest of the table. Speaker 2: Nice year will pat your shoulder. Speaker 2: Oh, honey. Let them have their fun. Speaker 2: Still playing the moment. Jason: Why are you doing that? Speaker 2: You don't know who's watching. Jason: I don't know. Jason: I like that no one said you had to do that at all. Jason: I just to an antagonize longer. Speaker 2: I think. Jason: So, yeah, I guess we'll look to Camer and Ruby. Jason: He'll just be like, stay out of the minibar. Jason: We'll go out of the minibar.

Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Speaker 3: Right. Speaker 3: Ruby, yeah. Jason: Oh, yeah. Jason: Definitely. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Crack you. Jason: I figure we probably, somebody probably, like a couple of hours, Jason: let's meet back downstairs or that kind of thing. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Yeah, you know that Bonzo's dark is open all night. Speaker 3: Right. Speaker 3: Right. Speaker 2: All right. Jason: All right. Jason: All night. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 2: Take a bath. Speaker 2: Take a nap. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: Yeah. Jason: I think.

Jason: Go ahead. Speaker 3: Pre-game, pre-game a little bit. Jason: I mean, as soon as the door's closed for Ruby and Kamara, Jason: she's taking her boots off and she's turning on, Jason: while taking a boot off, turning on the water to fill up. Jason: Whatever, whatever bath, jacuzzi, whatever. Jason: The jacuzzi, the jacuzzi. Jason: Mm-hmm. Jason: I mean, she's just like, I'm, I stink. Speaker 3: This is going to be so good. Jason: You don't smell fresh, but. Jason: but none of us do. Jason: Yeah. Jason: Do you all by yourself or room in there for two?

Jason: Come on in. Jason: Are you kidding? Jason: This thing's filling up. Jason: And it's there's steam coming off. Jason: She's like, come on. Speaker 3: Both of you. Jason: Yeah, I get towels for us, like wash cloths and like, Jason: bring them out and like put them over our eyes and our face. Jason: Yeah. Jason: So there's, there's all these local soaps and stuff like that. Jason: that they have there. Jason: And they essentially, a lot of them are like bath bombs. Jason: You throw them in and they instantly just like, Jason: and the entirety of this thing starts foaming up.

Jason: There's essentially like water jets underneath of it. Jason: So you, there's two things. Jason: One, obviously, it's not a jacuzzi in the sense that you can just lay in there. Jason: You already have to clean off and stuff like that. Jason: Like, it's a bathtub as well. Jason: But remember how I said there's a cleaning service? Jason: So there is a box in the closet that you put your stuff in. Jason: And essentially, the press the digitation spell is cast on them. Speaker 3: And they are clean and fresh. Speaker 3: And you can pick the sense that your laundry comes out in.

Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Jason: There's an unscented option, too, but that's boring. Jason: No. Speaker 3: Hell no. Jason: Morgan trying to fit his entire stone armor into the house. Jason: Oh. Jason: part of the time. Jason: Just scraping into the bag. Speaker 4: Yeah, I broke your box. Jason: You got any bigger ones. Speaker 4: Oh, that's good. Speaker 2: I think in Speaker 2: contrast with a squealing kids Speaker 2: and then chimera and Ruby Speaker 2: in Speaker 2: logger in in Speaker 2: Nythira's room. It's that thing Speaker 2: that comes with age.

You start to understand Speaker 2: like the amenities in a hotel. Speaker 2: hell room. They're overpriced not as good as anything you could bring yourself. They never are. Speaker 2: Well, look. Like, I mean, the hotel bar, like the bar, mini bars never as good as what you have. Jason: No. The fridge is usually iced up in Atlanta because it's so goddamn humid. So you just got to chisel that off a little bit. Jason: The first several years we went, we thought the fridges were all broken. They're not. You just got to de-ice them. Jason: And then their fridges again.

Speaker 2: Yeah. And every, like, mini bar have gone to, like, the stuff is stale because it's been sitting there forever. Speaker 2: Or it's like the expensive alcohol, but it's not like the best. Speaker 2: Like, it's not, like, you know the local stuff that you, you know what's the best risk here. Speaker 2: You know what the vet. Speaker 2: And they get like the one that everyone knows that's supposed to be good. Jason: Well, there's always the complimentary water glasses on the table and you take those and you fill those with your own booze.

Jason: Yes, exactly. Jason: So that's exactly what Nithera does. Speaker 2: takes out the bottle of booze that she grabbed from the merchant's cart that she had. Speaker 2: That was the nicest one there. Speaker 2: The aged 18 years scotch. Jason: Four of us did that, though, all four of us. Speaker 2: Keep going. Speaker 2: Keep going. Jason: I want to come back to Ruby. Jason: I'm going to tell this with poison later. Speaker 3: So this is great. Speaker 2: Yes. Speaker 2: So maybe at the same time, Nigeria and Lagrin both take out. Speaker 2: out like the special bottle they both grabbed and like did each other.

Jason: So Lagrin's like, he's like sitting down, like working off this stone armor. Jason: And he's like going to my bag in the back and the left hand side, there's a bottle I saved. Jason: And then meanwhile, you're just pulling out your own bottle. Speaker 2: You mean this one? Jason: Well, that's not the one that. Jason: Oh, you got one. Jason: Okay. Jason: Yeah, that'll work. Speaker 2: And you want. Speaker 2: want the bath first or me? Jason: He's like, Jason: he's still got all of his armor on, 100%. Jason: He's like laying on his back trying to work his way out of it.

Speaker 2: It's going to take a lot of getting used to. Speaker 2: No, it's fine. Speaker 2: I got to practice. Speaker 2: And I really don't want to help. Speaker 2: I'm going to go take a bath. Speaker 2: Bye. Speaker 3: I want it to be canonical. Jason: I want it to be canonical. Jason: I want it to be canonical that it takes you 30. Jason: be five minutes instead of 10 to take off. Jason: Put on this armor. Jason: First time, probably. I don't think he's taking it off since we got it from that caravan. Speaker 3: It'll get a trip to. Speaker 3: It'll get a bit faster.

Jason: Yeah. Jason: I want that to be what Logren does with his like special item. Jason: By the way, I want to have him find somebody to put the boulet plates on the stone armor. Jason: And that'll be. Jason: Oh, we can definitely do that. Jason: Oh, yeah. Jason: That can be a tomorrow, like, a next day thing. Jason: If you want to, like, play that out. Jason: But I think that's what I want to do. Jason: Yeah, you probably want to wait until all the shops open. Jason: But like, yeah. Jason: So two hours. Jason: Everybody gets clean. Jason: Everybody, you know, like, you can probably visibly see everybody Jason: relax the next time you meet up, right?

Jason: Who's trained in perception again? Jason: I need a perception role. Jason: I am. Jason: And I am. Jason: Okay. Jason: Both of you give me a roll. Jason: 19. Speaker 2: I'm 14. Jason: So, Jason: canonically, Jason: I wanted Ora to also have one of those bottles of booze. Jason: These kids are drunk. Jason: Like, you could tell they're drunk. Jason: Like, they are, like... Speaker 2: Even bad. Speaker 2: Drunk? Speaker 2: Drunk. Jason: It's less noticeable. Jason: on baths. Jason: Definitely. Jason: Well, okay. Jason: He's like. Speaker 2: He almost died.

Jason: He almost died. Speaker 2: He gets a drink. Speaker 2: It harms development. Speaker 2: Not great. Jason: He's a fantasy. Jason: He's a Goliath. Jason: He's like he's got the body of a 23-year-old Jason: ripped dude. Like it's, you know what I mean? Jason: Like, it's just, he's like, Jason: mentally. Jason: Who knows? Jason: Well, the science isn't all in yet, but he is drunk. Jason: So like, but like, the only way you could tell is if you stop and like watch him for a minute, Jason: and he's just like rocking back and forth a little bit, usually he's stock still.

Jason: And if, if you look at them or they're trying to like play it cool, Jason: but they very much had drinks while you weren't there. Jason: Like the second, it's like, holy shit, we actually have some time alone. Jason: And they, it's like, hey, we could have died 15 times. Jason: It was pointed out to us many a time. Jason: Fuck it. Jason: Like, you know what I mean? Jason: But they are young and pretending not to be drunk. Jason: Oh, so it's very obvious. Speaker 2: So it's obvious. Speaker 3: You can go over obvious. Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jason: Oh, my God, y'all are drunk. Jason: So are we. Jason: She's going to smack smack camera on the on the shoulder. Jason: Kimer could not be prouder and he's like he laughs when Ruby hits him. Jason: But he's like, okay, okay, okay. Jason: Everyone's getting water when we get two bonzos. Jason: That's the first thing you're drinking. Jason: Okay, we're getting some water. Jason: And then we can go from there. Jason: You kind of love it. Jason: Oh, my God. Jason: They have such good water there. Jason: She's drunk. Jason: No one's had the water at Bonzo.

Jason: It's basically Desani there. Jason: It's all Coca-Cola. Jason: It's Atlanta, basically. Jason: It's like, don't drink the water. Speaker 3: That's insane. Speaker 3: What? Speaker 2: Everybody here better get meat. Speaker 2: We need something in your stomachs. Jason: Oh, we'll be plenty of meat at Bonzo's. Jason: House. Speaker 5: House locker tickets. Speaker 5: nine years old. Speaker 5: I'm here. Speaker 5: I didn't say for him. Jason: Yeah. Jason: I mean, there's not one part of Lager Jason: and that's surprised by any of this, right?

Jason: Like, and to an extent, like, he's kind of like, well, at least we know where they are, you know? Jason: Because they're, these kids literally just came off of their first trip on the road. Jason: They almost died. Jason: We did give them their own. Jason: supervised. What did we think was going to happen? Jason: And he's like, all right, well, it's going to be a late night. Jason: We'll see. Let's see if they can hang, you know? Jason: I think we're going to do it the way that we normally do it. Jason: And we'll see, you know, we'll just see how it goes for them.

Jason: We all deserve it. Jason: Yeah. Jason: I hope they have a booth. I like the booths at bombs us. Jason: Oh, we'll get one. I'll cast suggestion if I have. Speaker 2: have to. We will get a booth. Jason: So, I have been in an elevator Jason: with all of us at DragonCon. We're not quiet most of Jason: the time. The loudest we are Jason: is if we go to see a movie that's bad there. And Jason: fuck you if you're on a date. It's the slender man. I'm sorry. You picked Jason: wrong. Like you're sorry. There was a moment Speaker 2: we all broke.

And there was no. And there was no. Speaker 2: It was so bad. Jason: The kitchen was the worst. Jason: Holy shit. Speaker 2: Oh, that one was just boring. Jason: It was. Jason: How dare you be a comic book? Jason: Anywho. Jason: Lanny's going to hear you coming two floors Jason: above the stairwell, just like coming down. Jason: And he'll flag down, Kimera. Jason: Are we heading out tonight? Jason: Yes. We're going to get a meal and maybe a drink or two. Jason: Probably back a little bit late. Jason: Don't stay up for us. Jason: You can. He laughs.

Jason: He's going to smile. You can go back whenever you like. Jason: And he's going to hand you a voucher. Jason: There's a few different taxi services around town. Jason: But you can get your first ride on the hotel. Jason: Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. We definitely need it. Jason: I'm sure that's no surprise. Jason: So yeah, he's just going to, he's just kind of like wave goodbye to you guys. Jason: And like he's going to notice the drunk children. Jason: He's like, okay. Jason: I'm over here. Speaker 2: I didn't. Speaker 2: Didn't see that.

Jason: Like I. Speaker 2: Like I. Speaker 2: Legal drinking age in a fantasy times. Speaker 2: It's tough, but like. Jason: No such thing. Jason: There's definitely a 15-year-old girl in that. Jason: crowd. Like, they're all young, but like, like, you can age up a teafling a little bit. Jason: Baz looks older. Chet's like, yeah, you could die at 17. Fine. Or is the youngest looking of the Jason: bunch. And definitely the drunkest. Like, if I had to like gauge it, definitely the drunkest. Definitely Jason: the drunkest. Definitely been hanging out with chimera too much.

Oh, sorry. I should, I should Jason: mentioned to you. I forgot to mention this. Jason: Ruby smells because of the Jason: prestigitation, the cleaning service. Speaker 3: You're drunk. Jason: No. I wish, man. Speaker 2: Have some water, Jasper. Jason: I actually need desperate for it. Jason: She smells like an Andes Speaker 3: mint, chocolate and mint. Jason: That was the flavor she chose. Jason: Nice. Nice. Jason: Like a lot. Jason: A lot. Jason: Like, you get in each other. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: It's a good choice. Jason: You can definitely tell all the kids took advantage of like getting a bath, like get to like every, you know, obviously they started drinking first, then got clean.

Jason: And or things like their faces are red because not only did they drink a lot, but they also took way too hot of a bath. Jason: So they're just. Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: Totally. Jason: Like hot bath water on tap like that is not common. Jason: So like, you know. Jason: Come here, comes over and like snaps this voucher and is like, well, we're all going to Bonzo's Jason: AD in style and Lagrin, you don't got to worry about your little feet. Jason: You can be moving as fast as all of us for once. Jason: Ruby. Jason: That's how it took the gallery too.

Speaker 2: Like, that's crazy. Jason: Blarren, who is not in his armor and he's like, he like, he like, he like, Jason: combed his hair and he's like dressed nice. Jason: It's like, that doesn't feel necessary. Jason: All right. Jason: You look great by the way. Speaker 4: And you do look really good. Speaker 4: Fantastic. Speaker 4: Very overdressed for Bonzo's. Speaker 2: Yeah. Jason: Lavender's a weird choice, but he smell good. Jason: I love it. Jason: It's a great smell. Jason: Yeah. Speaker 2: Use what I left out, I guess. Jason: That first thing I could reach honestly.

Jason: I didn't even smell it. Jason: So you walk out into the Jason: crisp night air. Jason: You're all clean. You smell nice. Jason: And honestly, it's like a different world when you come out of the hotel. Jason: It doesn't seem as harsh as it usually does. Jason: They're gas lanterns and warm lights in the windows of a lot of places around here. Jason: And you're going to see a couple of carriages, you know, hanging out. Jason: And there's a carriage service called Giddyup. Jason: And that is what the vouchers for. Jason: And they have these basically like the stretch Hummer limo of, you know what I mean?

Jason: They're there. Jason: It's, it's gaudy. Jason: It's, but it's, it's for tourists. Jason: So they park right out in front of silk sheets. Jason: Waiting, waiting for not robs, but it's like, okay, you're in Vegas. Jason: Let's go. Jason: Like that type of thing, you know? Jason: So, you know, someone will get out and open the carriage door. Jason: and there's a big warm space to kind of pile in. Jason: Uh, it's good. Jason: Where can I take you this evening? Jason: Bonzos. Jason: A.D. Jason: I. Oh, no, it's just dark. Not after dark. Jason: Sorry.

Jason: I thought you were giving it like a time period. Jason: And I'm like, okay. Jason: Bonzo's before the common era. Jason: They're in Jesus. Jason: Let's say. Speaker 3: Oh, what? Jason: So when you, okay, when you say bonzo's, first, it's like, oh, I think they've closed for the evening. Jason: And then you say bonzo's dark and there's like a look. Jason: All right. Jason: Uh, everybody in? Jason: This is the third time. Jason: You've gotten that vibe. Jason: Like, it's like, can I get another? Speaker 3: Can I get another role on this? Jason: I kind of feel like I should do this at disadvantage.

Jason: Maybe this is your element. Jason: Maybe drunk is like slightly drunk, like just slightly drunk. Speaker 3: Like, just slightly drunk. Speaker 3: Yeah. Jason: I'm just relaxed. Jason: I'm a better driver when I've had a few. Jason: Like that kind of. Jason: Oh, good. Jason: That's not a thing, guys. Jason: Don't. Jason: Don't. Speaker 2: No. Jason: Nope. Jason: Nope. Jason: Never mind. Jason: 11. Speaker 3: Only slightly better. Jason: Right. Jason: You're going to get that vibe again. Jason: It's like maybe people in the city are just weird.

Jason: I mean, Ruby's catching eyes with the chimera probably every time that that's been brought up in some way. Jason: Is there something we should know about bonzo's? Jason: Oh, no. Jason: Bonzo is this a wonderful restaurant I've taken my kids there. Jason: Right. Exactly. They love it. And she's going to look back in everybody. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. She's going to look at it. It's fine. Jason: But what about Bonzo's dark? Jason: Bonzo's is a lovely restaurant. Like he's going to say the same thing verbatim. And like he's already like, Jason: and he's trying to avoid the topic.

I'll, um, I'll probably be dropping you off right at the Jason: the gloming quarter and you can, um, you can, uh, find it from there. It's, it's, it's, it's, Jason: it's pretty close. Fantastic. Can you give us while, uh, while we're on this trip, a brief history of the Jason: Gloming Quarter? Just real quick. We'd love to know. Of course. His voice is going to crack just a little Jason: bit. Uh, well, uh, what? Esther Holt has a what? He's going to give you like the tour of Chicago or New York Jason: type of thing. Is he's going to talk about a little bit.

He's going to talk about. Jason: about almost everything but that quarter as is. Jason: Well, our city has a rich history of second chances. Jason: We've welcomed in ex-convicts and people looking to get a fresh start to even even Jason: bandits. And the gloaming quarter is a district specifically for vampires. Jason: and Banzos Dark is there. Jason: It's sort of their little version of the chain. Jason: They've done wonderful things with it, I hear. Jason: And it... Jason: He's going to drop the tour voice. Jason: Can I be honest with you? Jason: Please.

Jason: I have friends. Jason: friends of friends who visit the glowing quarter all the time. Jason: I've heard nice things. Jason: It just gives me the willies. Jason: It's an entire district of vampires. Jason: They're up all night. Jason: They are... Jason: I have no reason to think that they would do anything to harm anyone. Jason: But... Jason: You know... Jason: has there ever been any problems? Jason: Or is it just something you're uncomfortable with? Jason: No, no problems in the city. Jason: There was the mess in Aubrey and then whatever's going on in Doomhurst.

Jason: And it's just, you know, it's just, what are they doing in there? Jason: You know, it's a little walled off section of the city and it's odd. Jason: That's all. Jason: I'm sure they're fine. Jason: Some of my best friends are friends of vampires. Jason: That's always the odd ones who know how to have the most fun, though. Jason: Well, I would be happy to wait for you. Jason: After you're done, I could take you back to your hotel. Jason: I'm probably not going to get any fairs in that part of the town anyway, so. Jason: That would be lovely.

Jason: If it doesn't put you out too much, Jason: if it's not something that gives you the hebi-jee-jee's. Jason: No, it's fine. Jason: I'm probably making too much out of it, to be honest. Jason: The wrong impression for the city. Jason: Welcome to Esther old, by the way. Jason: I should have said that from the beginning. Jason: It's not usual that I make this trip. Jason: But hey, you know, that's great. Jason: And since you're going to be waiting, why not come and have a drink with us? Jason: What's your name? Jason: He's, it's, it's, uh, just Douglas.

Jason: And he's going to try and reach back like through the little window. Jason: You know, your cabin's all warm and stuff like that. Jason: So he reaches and it's like, oh, I can feel my fingers again. Jason: That's lovely. Jason: He's got these like nice little tight leather gloves. Jason: Fairbanks. Jason: Douglas. Jason: I... Jason: I... Jason: Sure. I can do that. Jason: You're taking children in. That's great. Jason: That's fantastic. Jason: They appear to be drunk. Jason: The city. Jason: Like he's very uncomfortable with us. Jason: They've earned it.

Jason: We're all drunk. Jason: She did me to say it out loud. Speaker 3: Yeah, come with us, Douglas. Jason: Have a drink with us. Jason: Get to meet some vampires. Jason: Enjoy some bonzos. Jason: You'll take us home. Jason: Only one drink, though. Jason: You've got to be responsible. Jason: You are the one driving. Jason: 25 minutes are going to pass. Jason: Just clipcloth. Jason: down these empty streets. Jason: And you're going to get to a separate walled area. Jason: There's, you know, there's a big open gate and everything, but this is clearly labeled.

Jason: Not like in a danger, you know, don't open dead inside type of thing. Jason: But it's clearly labeled and you're getting a sense that it's almost a separate city Jason: onto itself. Like they are bound by the laws of the city, but, but, Jason: But they govern their own type of thing. Jason: You know what I mean? Jason: Like, the girls run old town. Jason: You know what I mean? Jason: Like that type of thing. Jason: And he was going to park outside and he's going to hesitate for a minute and look around. Jason: And he's just like, yeah.

Jason: I mean, giddy up. Jason: We're supposed to say that. Jason: We have to say that. Jason: That. Jason: And going to cross that threshold, you're going to see all the lights lit up. Jason: Like, this is a very busy portion of the city. Jason: And you're going to hear Bonzo's well before you ever see it. Jason: Now, traditionally in Bonzo's, there's all kinds of noise and everything like that. Jason: You're going to hear organ music before. Jason: It's very Adams family. Speaker 3: Like, it is just. Jason: I love it. Jason: And I think that's a good time for us to stop for the evening.

Jason: Ruby's bouncing. Jason: She's, yeah. Jason: Like, as you're around the court, it's like, Jason: Buh, bannan-da-da-da-da-da. Speaker 3: Like, it's not dramatic. Jason: Just you got to say bonzo's in a Dracula accent, that's all. Speaker 3: Yes. Speaker 3: I'm